Aquí us presento un vidio d’un nou esport : SlamBall.

Midnight Stocking-cap Session was lifted at Murakami’s fine site. check it out at ferrarimurakami.blogspot.com

“Michael Jordan at age 46 schooling slamball superstar Chris “The Ghetto Bird” Young (Height: 6′4″). See Jordan do a standing reverse dunk, and drop a few turnaround fadeaways in Mr. Young’s grill.” -murakami    

ALSO..   check out this joint found on his page…    ”Wu Tang”

Michael Jordan can merk you with baggy jeans on at age 46. Just ask Slamball player Chris “The Ghetto Bird” Young. Jordan can lick fadeaway jumpers all day. Damn son. It seems Slamball players are completely useless without a trampoline. 

     So I was watching someone’s number being retired and a thought occurred to me. What happens hundreds of years in the future when all the numbers start getting retired? And yes, American football, baseball and hockey will be around that far into the future. Soccer and professional basketball will not be. Let’s face it, those sports blow and I have seen the glorious future with flying cars, portable satellite television and a bionic Shane Victorino. Either way, I’m not here to debate the legitimacy of terrible sports, only to speculate as to what will happen when all the numbers have retired.

     Will we begin to see quarterbacks with the number 463? Maybe instead we will start to use more numbers than just integers? Maybe Donavan McNabb junior will sport the number 4.7. Maybe π. How about the square root of 2? I think these are valid ideas that we should begin to consider. The time is rapidly approaching where all of the integers under 100 will be useless. And don’t tell me we can begin to un-retire numbers. A number is retired forever, and forever is a damn long time. (745 years in fact. It’s science.)

Me finding this funny makes me a nerd. I'm okay with that.

—

     In related news, I recently discovered that Slamball is still being televised. If you don’t know what Slamball is, get a clue. It is the only way that basketball can survive the coming sports apocalypse. Basically its basketball with four trampolines surrounding each net. How could that not be the best thing on Earth? How could anyone go back to professional basketball where you don’t see a dunk attempt every possession? The answer is, you can’t. Here we have a quote from the Slamball website:

“SLAMBALL STARTED in a small warehouse in Los Angeles on a makeshift court cobbled together from spare parts. Mason Gordon wanted to create a fully realized sport that was inspired by the strategies, aesthetics and pacing of video games. A sport where the athletes fly higher and hit harder, performing feats that were once the exclusive domain of the well-crafted pixel. SlamBall would quickly fulfill its promise as a mash-up sport smashed together, as the court was, from parts of basketball, football, hockey and gymnastics.”

     Now that’s a true American man’s sport. Simply stunning. Some of the team names: Hombres, Slashers and Maulers. That’s a Viggo Mortensen level of badassery. To make things all the better, it is broadcast on the Cartoon Network. Yes, the Cartoon Network. Slamball knows how to get the kids involved. Genius. Start watching Slamball immediately.

Simply viewing this picture gave me a nosebleed.

—

Listen: Taking Back Sunday, “MakeDamnSure”
Quote: “Mister… you can say anything you want about me. I’m gonna have to ask you not to talk about my horse that way.” – Frank T. Hopkins

RIP Jim Johnson

The Custodian is over at The Freelancer’s house and we both tuned in to Cartoon Network dutifully to watch a glorious Slamball playoff game, as indicated by Slamball’s official website. Unfortunately, we were both surprised to discover that an episode of Tom and Jerry was airing in Slamball’s place. A further inquiry of our TV listings indicates that the championship game will air as scheduled next week.

This isn't SlamBall...

In other “Paints in the Point” news, you might have noticed some new features. There’s an “Archives” page now, chock-full of archive-ish features, like seeing all the posts on one page. To the right of each page, you will notice that we’ve added both a search feature, and a drop-down list of all articles we have written. Let us know how you like these new features, and come back for the live blog next week!

Awhile ago, we thoroughly dismissed the idea that Slamball, the basketball game played with trampolines, was still in existence. We were wrong.

Apparently, Cartoon Network purchased the rights to televise SlamBall, the latest in a odd series of programming additions to the network historically known for this:

I had always thought that Cartoon Network would be the last channel to stray away from its original intended purpose. For example, MTV went from this…

…to this:

[High quality version]

Cartoon Network has added other original programming in addition Slamball, including BrainRush (kids answer trivia questions while riding roller coasters), Survive This (eight Canadian kids have to survive a fake bus crash, in an offshoot of Survivorman), The Othersiders (a kids version of Ghost Hunters), and Destroy Build Destroy (stuff gets blown up, kids build from the wreckage for a lame competition).

With the addition of this programming, Lifetime is the only channel that still remains true to its original identity: “TV for Women.” In fact, a quick Google Images search for “man beats woman, woman fights back” yields this top result:

Are you surprised?

Tomorrow, at least one of the Paints dudes will be live blogging the 12:00 PM Eastern airing of SlamBall, for your reading pleasure. Come back to read it, either live, or read it later!

Back in high school, I used to work at Champs Sports with a guy named Byron who had been a professional Slamball player. Standing 6′9″ tall and weighing in somewhere north of 250 pounds, Byron was essentially what you’d get if you crossed an NBA power forward with an NFL linebacker. He was big, strong, and could dunk like a mofo.

Now I had seen some Slamball games before I met Byron, but the dude definitely got me more into the fledgling sport. The reason he was working at a low-level retail establishment at the time was due to the fact that Slamball wasn’t able to renew their TV contract and had folded for a season or longer.

Fast forward six years and Slamball has finally made its long-awaited return to cable television.

Combining a makeshift basketball court with trampolines and what amounts to body armor, Slamball is the type of game you dream about as a kid. The physicality of football blended with the finesse of basketball, all while blessing every player on the court the ability to dunk like a superstar. It’s pretty much the greatest game ever invented.

After discovering Slamball on Cartoon Network while channel surfing this afternoon, I decided to do a little research and see what the league was all about these days. Come to find out, a number of big names populate the six-team league.

• John Starks, former New York Knicks point guard, is the coach of the Maulers.

• Kenny Anderson, former New Jersey Nets (among a host of other teams) point guard, coaches the Hombres.

• Rocket Ismail, former NFL wide receiver, coaches the Bouncers.

• Ken Carter, subject of the feature film Coach Carter, coaches the Rumble.

In addition to the pedigree of the league’s coaches, Slamball’s website features a great deal of hard-to-come-by analysis. Here are a few snippets of the brutally honest critiques:

• “Football player from New Mexico State, Al Jones lives in ‘the jungle’ a rough and tumble part of Los Angeles. Trains in martial arts. Wishes to be referred to as the ‘ninja jungle warrior’. Backup Stopper and sometime Gunner, coined the phrase “Stunner” as a combo-position that combines the two spots.”

• “Nicknamed ‘young kobe’ JT [John Thomas] plays ball overseas in Germany. JT brings an offensive onslaught to the Hombres with his throwing the ball to himself and making the Stopper look helpless at times. JT will never stop talking about Kobe Bryant, which is funny for a while and then just gets wierd.”

• “Speedy brings non-stop hustle and a ‘never-say-die’ attidude to the Hombres and will get up and do the frog dunk (a bizzare mid-air spasm that has so far defied adequate description) on anybody unfortunate enough to get in his way.”

• “Not only sporting possibly the best name ever, [Sheggy] Obebe is an accomplished basketball player that knocks down outside shots, while playing great defense and mixing in the occasional attack on the Stopper.”

• “Combines perfect timing with incredible aerial control to deny anything close to the rim. Credits his timing to bouncing on a tramp in his backyard his whole life.”

I mean, really. Where else are you going to get commentary like that? Gotta love Slamball.

The Rules of Slamball | PanAsianBiz

Basketball + Gymnastic + American Football = Slamball. 19 05 2009. Have you tried to play basketball by hopping around the court? Have you seen people performing gymnastic by carrying a ball? Have you tried pushing each others without …

Basketball + Gymnastic + American Football = Slamball. 19 05 2009. Have you tried to play basketball by hopping around the court? Have you seen people performing gymnastic by carrying a ball? Have you tried pushing each others without …

Slamball Dunk Contest 2008. Posted by:Admin. RANDOM POST. Pick of the week. Talent Audition Går Helt Galt! Det Lille Prik! Most Popular. 1 Just For Laughs – Girl .. 2 Talent Audition Går Hel.. 3 Football Skills 4 Funny Stupid People! …

Basketball + Gymnastic + American Football = Slamball. 19 05 2009. Have you tried to play basketball by hopping around the court? Have you seen people performing gymnastic by carrying a ball? Have you tried pushing each others without …

Basketball + Gymnastic + American Football = Slamball. 19 05 2009. Have you tried to play basketball by hopping around the court? Have you seen people performing gymnastic by carrying a ball? Have you tried pushing each others without …

Yes.

No.

… maybe so.

We (The Custodian, The Franchise, The Freelancer) are at The Champ’s house. The following will be an approximate representation of what happened.

8:11 PM: Discussing the virtues of having Shaq on the Cleveland Cavaliers with The Franchise. He thinks he is the only one who has doubts about Shaq with the Cavs, but The Freelancer reassures him that he is not alone.

8:12 PM: The Champ wants to “put money” on Curry going to the Knicks with #8 pick in the draft.

8:15 PM: The Champ and The Franchise love Kevin Durant.

8:16 PM: Curry to the Warriors. “The Knicks got robbed.” The Champ claims that the Knicks’ plan is entirely ruined with the Warriors’ pick.

8:19 PM: The room is treated to a Champ gun show.

8:21 PM: Jordan Hill to the Knicks. “Holy cow, he’s huge.” “I can see this guy being good.”

8:24 PM: Jordan Hill = Donté Stallworth? You be the judge:

Jordan Hill or Donté Stallworth?

Left: Mike O'Malley or Phil Savage? Center: Jordan Hill or Donté Stallworth? Right: Scott Boras?

8:27 PM: The Franchise claims that The Freelancer could have been DeMar DeRozen. Agree to disagree.

8:33 PM: Brandon Jennings from Compton to Italy to Milwaukee. The Freelancer thinks he should have stayed in Italy, where the women don’t look like this:

Wisconsin Women Library Workers Association

8:34 PM: Puzzle pieces: real or fake? The Champ maintains they are CGI, everyone else disagrees.

8:38 PM: Terrence Williams to the New Jersey Nets. Audible groan from The Franchise.

8:45 PM: “Unexpected” pick Gerald Henderson to Bobcats at #11. Disbelief from The Champ.

8:47 PM: The Freelancer asks, “Is that reporter a quadriplegic?” Maybe there’s a trap door or something. Or is she a member of the Lollipop Guild?

8:50 PM: Hansbrough at #13 to the Pacers. The Champ thinks he is being kidded. The Franchise says that the Pacers need the defense.

8:54 PM: Here comes the Suns… pick.

8:55 PM: Applause at the sight of the Shaq trade on ESPN’s coverage.

8:56 PM: Suns select Earl Clark. Brandon Jennings comes on stage instead of him. Confusion in the room. One person thinks the Suns traded Earl Clark for Brandon Jennings. Way to go Commissioner Stern for confusing us all. Fans at the draft in New York don’t know how to respond.

8:58 PM: Where the hell did Jennings go for four picks? Some suggestions of where he might have gone:

• Buy a Green Bay cheese head
• Getting a haircut, “flattening his flat top.”

9:00 PM: The TV automatically changes the channel to record “Burn Notice.” No one knows what to do. The Champ is playing the piano.

9:02 PM: Burn Notice is still on. The Champ is still playing the piano.

9:03 PM: The Champ is ignoring desperate pleas for help with the remotes.

9:04 PM: The DVR is awfully programmed. It was recording Burn Notice on both USA HD and USA proper.

9:05 PM: TV is back on the draft. Austin Daye to the Pistons, apparently. No one has any idea who he is.

9:07 PM: “Where is Xavier located?” Answer: Cincinnati. Some people forget that it is an Ohio school.

9:08 PM: Now melodica playing by The Champ. What the hell is wrong with this draft? James Johnson goes to the Bulls with #16.

A weird dude playing a melodica. Editor's note: This is not "The Champ."

9:10 PM: 76ers on the clock, replete with new retro logo. There might be a post about retro logos in the future. Stay tuned.

9:12 PM: 76ers select Jrue Holiday from UCLA sucks. The Freelancer apologizes, but the “sucks” is a requirement for USC students after writing/saying/whispering/semaphore-ing/shouting “UCLA.”

9:16 PM: The Custodian has bed sheets with old NBA logos on them. Not only does he eat and breathes basketball, he apparently sleeps in basketball, as well.

9:21 PM: Minnesota selects Ty Lawson at #18. It might be traded to the Nuggets? Who knows? The Champ is still flexing his musical muscles.

9:23 PM: Hawks pick Jeff Teague. The Champ responds by playing louder on the piano. The Freelancer is getting closer and closer to going insane. Everyone agrees that he plays the songs far too fast to be enjoyable.

9:26 PM: The Champ is sweating after an intense piano playing session. The Champ also “destroys some poor person’s drink,” reports The Custodian.

9:28 PM: Eric Maynor to the Utah Jazz. VIRGINIA COMMONWEALTH POWER!

9:42 PM: Shaq interview with ESPN. He has not communicated verbally with LeBron, but has done so mentally. The Cavs will have a good season if Shaq-Bron telepathy is a reality.

9:45 PM: Jews in New York excited. Exploding bagels. Now Omri Casspi is the only Jew in Sacramento. Omri Casspi might be the first person from Israel to play in the NBA, attempting to prove this wrong.

9:54 PM: The Champ thinks Slamball is “effing awesome.” Others disagree: “You know why Slamball doesn’t exist? BECAUSE A GUY DIED PLAYING IT!”

9:58 PM: No evidence can be found to support this claim. However, we’re still certain someone has at least been paralyzed, if not death.

9:59 PM: Bulls “reshape team” with Taj Gibson from USC. “New ugliest player in the NBA,” says one person here.

10:06 PM: DeMarre Carroll to Memphis. The Champ claims he needs a liver transplant. We have no idea what this means. The Champ is very fickle.

10:10 PM: Not only is The Champ fickle, he is now tickling the ivories for the second time tonight, effectively drowning out the volume of the TV. Way to go, Champ.

10:11 PM: Speaking of ivory tickling, Wayne “Not Duke” Ellington is selected #28 by Minnesota, their fourth pick in the first round. Lakers on the clock.

10:22 PM: The room erupts in laughter after Christian Eyenga. ESPN stat guys are flummoxed. The Custodian comments that ESPN is lucky that they have the  tape. The Freelancer states that the two seconds of video footage ESPN had was probably ripped off a VHS tape with half an episode of Cold Case on it.

10:25 PM: Huge argument erupts over which eye is Stuart Scott’s glass eye.

10:28 PM: What’s the past tense of “genocide?” The Freelancer suggests that Christian’s parents were probably murdered and buried in a soccer field, à la The International.

10:30 PM: Famous exports from Congo, according to Wikipedia: oil, lumber, plywood, sugar, cocoa, coffee, diamonds. They also produce tapioca, rice, corn, and peanuts. And the 2009 first-round pick of the Cavaliers.

10:40 PM: For those that don’t know, The Republic of Congo is located here:

This is where Christian is from.

10:42 PM: The Freelancer really doesn’t care about the Second Round.

10:45 PM: Eyenga’s photo that ESPN had looks like it was ripped from  his Myspace page. Or from the FBI page profiling Nigerian e-mail scammers.

10:51 PM: DeJuan Blair goes to the Spurs. The Champ is nearly as crushed as the time he threatened to destroy The Franchise’s lamp after Big Brown lost the third leg of the Triple Crown after they bought T-shirts bearing his likeness.

10:54 PM: Surprise registered by The Champ at the Ty Lawson trade. The Custodian knew it beforehand, though.

11:00 PM: OBLIGATORY 11:00 BEARD BREAK:

Stay tuned for the 11:15 PM BEARD UPDATE EXTRAVAGANZA

11:15 PM: BEARD UPDATE EXTRAVAGANZA:

He drafted Taylor Griffin with pick #47

11:21 PM: Cavs take Danny Green. He is not from an African nation, to the best of our knowledge.

11:40 PM: The Champ’s dog starts pseudo-barking. The Champ is wary of silencing the dog, but eventually obliges.

11:41 PM: The Champ’s dog is now dead.

11:42 PM: The Freelancer immediately rescinds the last joke. But you can’t RESCIND ANYTHING ON A LIVE BLOG! Woe is me!

11:44 PM: “If the Deputy of the NBA announces the second-round picks, does that make David Stern the Sheriff because he announced the first-round picks?”

11:46 PM: “chamber346 on ESPN is an expert.” If he ever starts blogging, Paints in the Point could be in grave danger.

11:50 PM: scorpionking50 is a genius. Watch out, world.

11:52 PM: Best first question for  the newest Cleveland Cavalier Christian Eyenga: “Which is worse: Cleveland or Congo?”

11:55 PM: As soon as we get a press pass, we’ll ask that question.

12:00 AM: It’s Friday. Thought for the day: ”Is Shaq bulimic?”

12:07 AM: The last pick belongs to the Heat, select Robert Dozier.

12:08 AM: It’s been real. Play us off, 16-bit Keyboard Cat!

Basket-ul este deja old school. Am descoperit azi Slamball-ul, e fascinant. Este un sport derivat din basket, principala diferență (în afară de diferențe în punctaj și reguli de joc) fiind faptul că terenul de joc are 4 trambuline pentru lansare jucătorilor la coș, ceea ce dă foarte multă spectaculozitate (acesta fiind de altfel și scopul pentru care a fost creat, de a transpune în realitate jocurile video). Sport.ro difuzează meciuri de slamball.

Slamball video – aici. Enjoy!

I was watching this awesome sport today. Basically a mix of basketball and trampolines! Check it out. (on youtube or channel 1)

Read more at calumhenderson.wordpress.com

Slamball is a sport like basketball….there is a trampoline  then jumps you very high and opponents blocking you from scoring .once you escape …goal the ball is in the basket.If you want to try this do not try at home you must be at least guided .Here is an example below……

SLAMBALL

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qL8T2IQHy8Ms

Slamball

Do you know anything about slamball ? Well, I know a few things about it and it is quite interesting.It is a bit like basketball but with trampolins. If you want to find out more click on this link below:

Slamball

Are you ready to face the ELIMINATOR!?!?

The major U.S. sports seem  just a little dry of late.  Sure, the MLB had Opening Day…but no big news there.  Tiger Woods is back to original Tiger-esque form, but who wants to hear another one of my rants about Tiger Woods?  Oh, and there’s a new women’s soccer league in the United States, but……yeahhhhh.  No, this week I had to dig deep. Sitting at my desk daydreaming about potential stories, I thought back to all the crazy “sports” shows I used to love to watch on TV – and they became a worthy topic, in themselves.

You remember American Gladiators, don’t you?  I can’t count how many weekend afternoons I wasted watching athletes fight through “The Eliminator” at the end of each episode, only to get slammed in the face with a glorified pillow by huge, perhaps partially brain-damaged muscleheads with nicknames like “Laser” and “Malibu.”  I loved every second.  And who was that crazy announcer?  I wonder how he ended up calling episodes of AG, because he sounded like he had the chops for bigger and better things.  I smell an episode of “Where Are They Now?” in the making.

And then there was full-contact roller derby.  I forget the name of the league, but I think it aired on TNN, the precursor to Spike TV.  If you missed the boat on that one, I am truly and deeply sorry.  I mean, once those elbow and kneepaded babes hit that oval circuit, I felt like I’d be doing myself an extreme disservice by changing the channel.  The sport’s elegance was in its simplicity: You take women doing an everyday aerobic activity (rollerblading), and combine that with God’s greatest gift to mankind (professional wrestling).  Ta-da!  Roller derby!  I have a bone to pick with the TV producer who decided to pull this one from the airwaves.

Words of cosmic wisdom from Malibu:

And who could forget SlamBall?  Don’t remember?  …You make me sad.  Well, it DID have a very short-lived TV lifespan, but let me refresh your memory.  Instead of the normal center/forward/guard positions on the basketball court, they had “handlers,” “gunners,” and “stoppers.”  And instead of a normal basketball hardwood, there were super-bounce trampolines.  Throw in a slew of college basketball has-beens, and you got yourself the SlamBall league.  Genius.  Pure genius.  Apparently the league still exists.  Anybody know where I can find season tickets?

Competitor fakes out Turbo, gets decked in face:

~ Michael Leess

This is going to be an extra long post just to introduce the blog. This type of content is what The Nine Commandments is going to be about as well as spotlight athletes who abide buy, but also break The Nine Commandments, which you can see here. Original posts, current links, and basically a bunch of random sports items I find on the Interweb are what you’ll be seeing in the coming months and however long this site stays up.

The above video is SlamBall, which is coming back this summer on Cartoon Network of all places. If you don’t know what SlamBall, read up here. SlamBall is rumored to be coming to CN this summer according to youtube commenters (the most reliable people in the world), but we’ll withhold out review until it airs.

The Kenny Powers John Rocker Memorial Award – To put our amazing skills in Photoshop to work for you, we’ve created this award to highlight only the best athletes in sports who believe in diversity hate everyone that doesn’t look like them. These select few show their skills in verbally, emotionally and physically abusing others and new members will be honored from time to time.

So thats why those kids are so fast – Some Florida high school football players go out to the fields and chase rabbits to work on their agility. These are the kids getting the DI sports scholarships, NOT YOU!

NFL Draft coverage – Guaranteed first day draft coverage on April 25th to make fun of your teams picks while the Redskins trade all theirs away for John Elway.

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Official site of Slamball

Wikipedia: Slamball

POWERade Slamball Challenge official site

Ontem o Gerson me ligou para me falar sobre um esporte “bizarro” que estava passando na Band Sports, é o Slamball, a meu ver uma mistura de basketball, streetball, rollerball (aquele esporte futurista de tantos filmes), hockey, rugby, futebol americano e cama elástica.

Eu quero jogar, sera que isso existe aqui?