Good bye dummy and sleep deprived mummy! Yes, the dummy has been gone for over a week now and it’s amazing. I must admit there’s times (especially in the car) when I could do with it but I think we’re all ready to let it go. It has been such a help and sanity saver but he’s acting like a big kid, so he may as well give up now while he’s ready and not able to say no . Also we’re all getting a lot more sleep. Yes, Sonny has learnt how to put himself to sleep! It took one night of crying for about 20 minutes and now every night he goes to sleep for at least 7 hours straight, wakes up and has a feed, then usually goes back to sleep for an hour or two, unless it’s this morning and we’re up at the crack of dawn, but it’s not so bad!

I thought some kind of guilt would come along with this method of sleeping, but it all was really relaxed and calm. Ben and I had just decided that it was time to get our bed back and let him learn how to fall asleep with out being rocked, bounced, fed, cuddled etc. I also started to feel a little ridiculous bouncing an 11kg child around the house for hours, basically the time had come for everyone. We also didn’t feel militant or strict about it, we just thought ‘let’s try this and if we feel uncomfortable at any point we can stop’, we were fine, Sonny was fine and now there’s no fuss, just sleep!

I honestly can’t believe it, I wouldn’t have done it any differently though because we had to wait until we were all ready, and we are. I’m super proud of all the effort we put in the past 10 months with helping him sleep as best possible, but now he’s learnt for himself that it’s possible without us or his dummy.

He has 2 teeth at the top and 2 next to them slowly coming through, but no bottom ones yet? Weird! He’s walking along the furniture and getting into everything. He keeps me on my toes all day. Our house is a mess 7 days a week, eeek! He’s eating soo much food now, frozen blueberries are the favourite. But he’ll usually eat whatever dinner we end up making, as long as it’s healthy. I have to pack him a little lunch when we go out adventuring now, feels so strange to be packing my little baby lunch.

On other news i’ve started giving back to myself when I can. For example; Sonny and Ben hung out for a few hours on the weekend and I got my hair done. I feel amazing, I know it’s only a slight colour change but it’s incredible what a little change can do, I feel so refreshed and good about myself. I also went to a mums and bubs boot camp, it was so crazy but I am going to go again and get my body feeling healthy. Although I think it was a shock to the system because I ended up with a migraine in bed the whole next day! We went to yoga today and relaxed. I’ve just decided it’s time to do more things I want to do now. And with Sonny eating more food and drinking more water I can be away from him for longer periods of time before he needs a feed.

Now all that said and done I just look at life and think how lucky we are. Sonny is at the best stage and life is great Lucky Mumma.

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Sleeping Through the Night, Revised Edition: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night’s Sleep Overviews

Right after “Is it a boy or a girl?” and “What’s his/her name?,” the next question people invariably ask new parents is “Are you getting any sleep?” Unfortunately, the answer is usually “Not much.” In fact, studies show that approximately 25% of young children experience some type of sleep problem and, as any bleary-eyed parent will attest, it is one of the most difficult challenges of parenting.

Drawing on her ten years of experience in the assessment and treatment of common sleep problems in children, Dr. Jodi A. Mindell now provides tips and techniques, the answers to commonly asked questions, and case studies and quotes from parents who have successfully solved their children’s sleep problems.

Unlike other books on the subject, Dr. Mindell also offers practical tips on bedtime, rather than middle-of-the-night-sleep training, and shows how all members of the family can cope with the stresses associated with teaching a child to sleep.

   
Now! You won’t be disappointed with Sleeping Through the Night, Revised Edition: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night’s Sleep. You can compare price and shipping rating of many suppliers here…. >Compare Prices<

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Sleeping Through the Night, Revised Edition: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night’s Sleep Overviews

Right after “Is it a boy or a girl?” and “What’s his/her name?,” the next question people invariably ask new parents is “Are you getting any sleep?” Unfortunately, the answer is usually “Not much.” In fact, studies show that approximately 25% of young children experience some type of sleep problem and, as any bleary-eyed parent will attest, it is one of the most difficult challenges of parenting.

Drawing on her ten years of experience in the assessment and treatment of common sleep problems in children, Dr. Jodi A. Mindell now provides tips and techniques, the answers to commonly asked questions, and case studies and quotes from parents who have successfully solved their children’s sleep problems.

Unlike other books on the subject, Dr. Mindell also offers practical tips on bedtime, rather than middle-of-the-night-sleep training, and shows how all members of the family can cope with the stresses associated with teaching a child to sleep.

   
Now! You won’t be disappointed with Sleeping Through the Night, Revised Edition: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night’s Sleep. You can compare price and shipping rating of many suppliers here…. >Compare Prices<

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Sleeping Through the Night, Revised Edition: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night’s Sleep Review

Sleeping Through the Night, Revised Edition: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night’s Sleep Overviews

Right after “Is it a boy or a girl?” and “What’s his/her name?,” the next question people invariably ask new parents is “Are you getting any sleep?” Unfortunately, the answer is usually “Not much.” In fact, studies show that approximately 25% of young children experience some type of sleep problem and, as any bleary-eyed parent will attest, it is one of the most difficult challenges of parenting.

Drawing on her ten years of experience in the assessment and treatment of common sleep problems in children, Dr. Jodi A. Mindell now provides tips and techniques, the answers to commonly asked questions, and case studies and quotes from parents who have successfully solved their children’s sleep problems.

Unlike other books on the subject, Dr. Mindell also offers practical tips on bedtime, rather than middle-of-the-night-sleep training, and shows how all members of the family can cope with the stresses associated with teaching a child to sleep.

   
Now! You won’t be disappointed with Sleeping Through the Night, Revised Edition: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night’s Sleep. You can compare price and shipping rating of many suppliers here…. >Compare Prices<

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Sleeping Through the Night, Revised Edition: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night’s Sleep Overviews

Right after “Is it a boy or a girl?” and “What’s his/her name?,” the next question people invariably ask new parents is “Are you getting any sleep?” Unfortunately, the answer is usually “Not much.” In fact, studies show that approximately 25% of young children experience some type of sleep problem and, as any bleary-eyed parent will attest, it is one of the most difficult challenges of parenting.

Drawing on her ten years of experience in the assessment and treatment of common sleep problems in children, Dr. Jodi A. Mindell now provides tips and techniques, the answers to commonly asked questions, and case studies and quotes from parents who have successfully solved their children’s sleep problems.

Unlike other books on the subject, Dr. Mindell also offers practical tips on bedtime, rather than middle-of-the-night-sleep training, and shows how all members of the family can cope with the stresses associated with teaching a child to sleep.

   
Now! You won’t be disappointed with Sleeping Through the Night, Revised Edition: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night’s Sleep. You can compare price and shipping rating of many suppliers here…. >Compare Prices<

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Sleeping Through the Night, Revised Edition: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night’s Sleep Overviews

Right after “Is it a boy or a girl?” and “What’s his/her name?,” the next question people invariably ask new parents is “Are you getting any sleep?” Unfortunately, the answer is usually “Not much.” In fact, studies show that approximately 25% of young children experience some type of sleep problem and, as any bleary-eyed parent will attest, it is one of the most difficult challenges of parenting.

Drawing on her ten years of experience in the assessment and treatment of common sleep problems in children, Dr. Jodi A. Mindell now provides tips and techniques, the answers to commonly asked questions, and case studies and quotes from parents who have successfully solved their children’s sleep problems.

Unlike other books on the subject, Dr. Mindell also offers practical tips on bedtime, rather than middle-of-the-night-sleep training, and shows how all members of the family can cope with the stresses associated with teaching a child to sleep.

   
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We (I) have pretty much abandoned sleep training. Of course the problem is you can’t sleep train when your baby is sick or teething (which is pretty much all the time!). And, my hubby was busy at work at night so I was having a terrible time listening to my baby cry by myself! But, miraculously, she has gotten so much better just by herself! I put her down anytime between 6-9PM when she’s showing cues like rubbing her eyes, fussing, or pulling her ears. I nurse her to sleep and put her in her crib and she wakes up for a dream feed and now she sleeps about 7-8 hours, wakes up to nurse and sleeps a few more hours. I guess all the experts are not totally accurate. If you don’t feel like sleep training is for you, it will get better and your baby will get the sleep he/she needs!

However, nap times still need working on. I usually hold her or nurse her. I’m going to work on nursing while laying down and extending her awake times to three hours to see if that will help. She does love sleeping in the car and sleeping in her Ergo, so luckily I’m able to be mobile while she sleeps.

I’m just back from a work related trip where I had been salivating at the idea of four whole nights in which to catch up on some restorative, healing sleep undisturbed by anyone, or indeed the thoughts of anyone, needing me in the dead of night.

But it didn’t happen.

All alone in my hotel room, in delicious darkness and a comforting silence, I drifted off to sleep in minutes only to reawaken at regular intervals for absolutely no good reason whatsoever. I was GUTTED. I’m fairly sure I even returned home less rested than if I hadn’t gone away at all.  My only conclusion is that after so many months of involuntarily waking for various random lengths of time, my body clock has been completely scrambled to a point of confusion. Although a heaviness overtakes my limbs, my cheeks, my forehead, that corpse-like state never quite settles in to weigh down on my consciousness to the point of submission. I’m primed and ready to jump at a moment’s notice.  My body is ripe for a retraining. (Please note, I’m only advocating self imposed sleep training on a consenting adult! )

Salvador Dali’s “Woman Sleeping in a Landscape”

I’m starting to wonder if I have elevated the idea of a perfect night’s sleep into some kind of unattainable holy grail that will cure all ills. Oh for a glorious eight whole hours filled with restful, pleasant dreams. I can almost taste it and it smells so sweet!

What if it never happens? Or what if it does happen and I don’t awaken with that sense of rested satisfaction I’m anticipating? During all those sleepless nights when I nursed a wakeful baby and dreamed of a world where he slept and didn’t need my comfort any more, never once did I think that I wouldn’t automatically click back into my old pattern of sleeping where ten hour sessions were not unheard of and I’d uncurl in the morning to stretch my rejuvenated body out like a cat that got the sleep-inducing cream.

Ah, how I miss those days…

Related posts:

Chasing the Sandman

…and the little one said roll over

Things I learned #5: the secret world of co-sleeping

A triumphant post about sleeping through the night

I’m thankful for:

Benjamin is blowing Bennett a kiss, but he saw the cameras and looked at us instead! Bennett loves his Aunt Dana and his cousin!

1. Cousins! Bennett and his one-year-older cousin, Benjamin, were so cute this weekend! They’re starting to notice each other, and I think my little Bubs thinks his buddy is hilarious. (You know, between love-slaps in the face!) I hope they’re best friends when they’re older.
2. Duck Dynasty! Okay seriously, I love this show. You should, too. In fact, you will, if you watch it. It’s on A&E, it’s hilarious, and you can even watch it on Hulu if you don’t have cable. Besides its obvious hilarity, one of the things I absolutely love is how it’s a family show with a Christian message. They end every show with a big family dinner and a prayer to Jesus, and you always get a dose of Pop-Pop wisdom somewhere in the episode: “Don’t marry some yuppie girl. Find you a meek, gentle, kind-spirited country girl. If she knows how to cook, and she carries her Bible and lives by it, and she loooves to eat bullfrogs, now there’s a woman… She doesn’t have to be a pretty girl. It’s hard to get a pretty one to cook and carry a Bible anymore.” Here are a couple of clips to whet your appetite!
3. In-laws! I know a lot of people really struggle with their in-laws, but that’s not me! This past weekend, they made it possible for their three kids and their families to retreat to Beaver’s Bend in Oklahoma! They even brought yummy food! All we had to do was print out directions and drive up there. (Great practice traveling with Bubs, by the way. Sheesh! That kid does not travel light!) We had such a great time, made possible by Grammie and Pop-Pop.
4. Horses! Mine was named Mex, Justin’s was Frosty, and my horse was better than his! Finally! Last time we went horseback riding was nearly ten years ago, and everyone in our group got these gorgeous Clydesdales. The stable boy took one look at me and gave me this scrawny, nearly-dead, old, spotty horse named Lucy. I felt so lame! But this time, I got a big-kid horse. Fun!!!!
5. Pine cones! I forgot about them! It was so neat to see pine cones all over the ground among the leaves. I even picked up a little baby one for my little baby. It was his first pine cone, and he loved it!
6. Hiking! Justin and I love to go hiking, but we haven’t in a really long time. It was so great to be out in the woods next to a trout-filled stream feeling normal and healthy again! Pregnancy and early post-partum days sure make one feel like a slug. I felt 100% normal, and I had a great time!
7. My car! I got a CR-V while I was pregnant, so that we would have plenty of room for our new little family. I’m so glad! I love my car soooooooo much, and it was the perfect size for all our junk! (It may be a tight squeeze once we have two kids, though, and we’re traveling to Alabama for Christmas…)
8. Not having to have another job outside the home! Bennett had a rough sleeping week last week, which totally put me out of sorts. It was terrible, and I can’t imagine having to get up and teach children all day long after one, and then two, and then three, and then FOUR nights of staying up with my kid past 2:00 a.m. I struggled to get through those days, but I was able to veg and just cuddle my baby. No way I could have dealt with teenagers on top of it.
9. Peaceful sleep Saturday night! After the terrible week of no sleep and screaming all night, I was really worried about having Bubs in a cabin with ten other people. To everyone’s surprise and delight, Bennett slept in complete peace from 12:30 a.m. until around 8:30 a.m.! I was so happy to get sleep, number one, and to not be a bother to everyone else!
10. Huggies! We had three blow-outs Saturday alone (two happened while traveling!) because of those loserface Pampers. NO MORE! Mine is a Huggies baby for life. (Oh wait. Well, I hope not. Ew. You know what I mean.)

What are you thanking the Lord for today? 

Yes, ok, the days when i have catering i’m pressed flat, squished by the success of it all. i do not sleep enough on those days and i am unable to run.  But it’s limited to two days a week (i only do orders two days a week cuz the rest of the time i’m working at my REAL jobs, ha ha). But i’m coming to terms with this new life. I make sure to have food on hand, to get enough sleep before and after, and to take real breaks and time-off on the weekends so that the ‘working hard’ continues to seem worthwhile.

while i appreciate that this gloating thing of mine is super tiring, let me say this. I know for a fact that my improved life is due to quitting drinking.  There is a one-to-one correlation between WHEN i stopped drinking and this new improved me. I wouldn’t go back now for anything, i don’t care if i’m on the outside when others are over-indulging (i don’t seem to be, it actually seems fine, i still am too loud and too funny boozeless).

right now, at this moment, there’s an apple cake in the oven, i’ve just returned from a mini-vacation feeling super well rested (hard to believe it just takes 24 hrs alone to recharge), and tomorrow is a holiday for my ‘real’ jobs.

all is well. let the gloating continue. long live the gloating.

… and if you’re lurking and wondering if you should quit drinking, let me say YES YES YES YES YES YES (have you quit yet?) YES YES YES and YES : )

1. Bennett sleeping through the whole night! It’s so great for all of us when he decides to go to sleep and stay that way, which happens about half of the time these days. He went to bed around 10, and didn’t wake up until about 8:15, which means that this momma got 9 hours of sleep! (I didn’t do my math incorrectly; I stayed up until around 11, which is risky, since Bubs could have easily woken up at 12 or 1, but he didn’t! Yahoo!)
2. Good Morning Girls Bible study on the book of Colossians. It’s been SUCH a blessing — thank you, Cindy! — and I’ve learned a lot. I might write a separate post about it, but it has really rejuvenated my time with the Lord.
3. The AngelCare Sound and Movement Monitor. (Thank you, Robyn, for the suggestion!) It brings such peace of mind, because it monitors whether the baby is still breathing in addition to magnifying the baby’s screams in your sleepy ear at 2 a.m. We moved Bennett to his own room somewhere around 4-5 weeks, which is earlier than we planned, for a reason that’s too long to explain here. I was really worried about having him so far away, (you know, like across the hall!), but the little digital pendulum swinging back and forth, back and forth, reassured me night after night, especially when he started sleeping for 6, 7, 8, 9 hours straight! My little eyes would pop open after several hours, but I didn’t have to get up. I could just look at the monitor and know that’s he was just fine. Sleeping like a baby, as they say. I LOVE that monitor!

What are you thanking the Lord for today? 

DO NOT try to sleep train a baby that is less than 3 months old. They NEED to eat every couple of hours. Their tummies are too tiny to hold enough food to last through the night. Also, you cannot SPOIL a new born, it is impossible. The first 3 months, baby needs lots of TLC, cuddling, feeding, and soothing.

The most popular method of sleep training is the Ferber Method, also known as the “cry it out” method. Let me be clear, the point of “cry it out” is not to make your baby cry, it’s to make them sleep. Some parents believe this can be emotionally damaging to a child. The results of a 6 year study came out HERE in the last few months, which prove it is totally fine to let your baby cry for small amounts of time while providing occasional comfort. In other words, your baby isn’t going to grow up and have mental anguish because you didn’t pick him or her up when they cried when it was time to sleep.

The whole point of sleep training is to teach the baby how to self sooth. They can’t learn the skill unless you give them an opportunity to. Up until sleep training, all they know is how to fall asleep with mom’s help. Something you need to be aware of before you start this is that it can be very hard hearing your baby cry, and you may change your mind after a few minutes. My advice to you: DON’T ! consistency is key. It takes about 3-4 nights (pearl learned in 2).

My doctor told me to start sleep training at 4 months. I didn’t feel right about it, so I opted to wait till she was 6 months. I wish I had started at 5 months.

Let me tell you about how I realized Pearl was ready to sleep through the night.

Just over a week ago, Pearl was waking up several times during the night hollering because she spit out her pacifier and wanted me to come put it back in. Sometimes, that wouldn’t even do the trick. She wanted to eat, be rocked, etc. I started realizing, “hey, she uses her hands during the day to put her pacifier back in her mouth, so why can’t she do it herself at night?” She can roll over, play with her toys, and she’s eating plenty during the day. On the night of October 30th, I did our usual routine of bath time, storybook reading, swaddling, feeding, and rocking to sleep. She fell asleep at 7:30 p.m., and I put her in her crib. She woke up crying and did not want her pacifier. She wanted a bottle. I knew she was big enough to sleep the whole night without eating, she just wanted to be soothed.

I put the pacifier back in her mouth, leaned over, put my cheek to her cheek, whispered (do not use your regular talking voice) in her ear that mommy was here and it was time to go to sleep. Then, I patted her on the back for a good 1-2 minutes. She continued to sob.

At first, you want to go in the room every 3-4 minutes and repeat that same process. Patting on the back, whispering in the ear, and assuring them that they are safe. Make sure their favorite pacifier, or sleep cuddle toy is in their reach.

After 20 minutes of entering the room every 3-4 minutes, you want to stretch out your time to 7 minutes, then 10 minutes. We gradually want to increase the time between going to the baby’s aid. Whatever it takes, do not pick the baby up and rock them or else you’re just wasting all of that effort you put in. I’ve heard of babies crying for 2 hours MAXIMUM.

Pearl cried for 45 minutes, then went back to sleep, finally. She slept till 8 am WITHOUT WAKING. Something she’s NEVER done.

The next night, I put her down at 7:30 pm. Two and a half hours later, at 10 p.m., she started crying. I went into her room and looked down at her. She was laying in what appeared to be a really comfortable position, so I knew it wouldn’t be long. I was WRONG. She cried for an hour and a half! The crib sheets were wet with tears. Every time I went in to assure her she was ok, I would just scoot her body down out of the wet spots (a great technique if you don’t want babies head to be all wet). She fell asleep after that, and then slept till 4 am. When she woke up at 4, I said, “ok maybe she’s really hungry now.” I went to get her bottle, and by the time I got to the end of the hall she had fallen back asleep.

So, If you want to start by gradually offering a bottle or breast the second time they wake (if it’s closer to dawn), that’s ok AT FIRST. I don’t recommend it. I have a friend who did it and it took twice as long to sleep train. I say just get it out of the way in a few days. If they wake up again around 4 am, continue to let them cry it out.

So, the THIRD night, I put Pearl down at 7:30 p.m. She slept till 9 am without waking once. She has continued to do the same thing every night after that so far! I am no longer sleep deprived and it’s wonderful.

Make sure baby eats well during the day to reduce your anxiety about whether or not they are hungry. Remember, this is for their own good! They will sleep better and be much more happy

Mentally prepare yourself by saying, “Ok, my baby is big enough to sleep through the night. It is not beneficial for me or my baby to keep waking up during the night because neither of us are getting a good night’s rest. In a few days, my child will sleep through the night, and we will be much happier.”

Good Luck

Lisa O

We, as a culture, seem to have this Hollywood-esque notion of baby sleep. The phrase “sleeping like a baby” immediately comes to mind.  And I know I am not the only person who has been asked, “Oh, is she a good baby? Is she sleeping through the night yet?”

We seem to have lost sight of the fact that infant and toddler sleep is meant to be light.  They’re meant to wake often at night for food and reassurance.  This is what kept them alive in more primitive times.  Of course, now we don’t have to worry about being eaten by sabre tooth cats, but that doesn’t change the fact that babies are hard-wired by their very biology to need to wake at night.  Learning to sleep through the night is a developmental milestone that all babies reach at different times.  Just like walking and talking, you cannot “train” a baby to sleep through the night before he or she is developmentally ready to do so.

That doesn’t change the fact that waking with a baby through the night can be exhausting.  Believe me, I know.  We are on day 5 of the current sleep strike.  Katie is waking up every hour and staying up.  She is nurse, nurse, nursing.  Crawling around.  Exploring my face with her little fingers.  And just generally not sleeping.  Thank God we bed-share.  I can’t even imagine how hard it would be if I had to hike my butt down the hall to put her to sleep, stagger back to bed, only to have to hike down the hall again just as my eyes were closing.

She’s not waking to be mean or difficult or because she is a “bad” baby.  She is waking because she has a need, and for babies these needs are real and immediate.  Babies wake for all kinds of reasons:

• Teething
• Learning new skills
• Because they miss us and love us
• Hunger
• Thirst
• Growth spurts
• Feeling sick
• Baby is realizing that he or she is a separate person from Mama

Just to name a few.

And I’ve noticed with both girls and in talking to other parents that sleep definitely comes in cycles.  There are often ways to predict it.  There are several periods of wakefulness that we see pretty much across the board:

• The 4 month sleep regression
• The 6 month growth spurt
• The 8 month sleep regression
• The 15 month old period of nursing like a newborn

Katie is right at 13 months.  We’re a little early for the 15 month period, but she is teething, growing, and coming down with a cold.  Plus, she misses me.  She is so busy playing in the mornings and evenings that she often doesn’t want to nurse or only wants to take the time for a little snack.  Note: This isn’t self-weaning. This is also really normal baby behavior and will pass with time.

Getting up every morning for work when I haven’t slept at night is hard.  Really hard.  I feel like hell right now and the horrible cold I caught isn’t helping.  This is so hard.  But I know it will pass.  I am here, waving my white flag.  I am surrendering to her needs.  She will only be a baby for a little while longer.  Every day with her is precious, every night waking is a chance to remind her that Mama will be here for her no matter what. 

So if you’re like me, or if you find yourself in the future in a similar situation, I’m here with you, wide awake in solidarity and sisterhood.  Dig deep and find that white flag.  Surrender to it.  Don’t get caught in the moment.  Remember that the days are fleeting right now.  It will get easier and, as my dear friend Paris says, “Just because something is hard, doesn’t mean you suck at it.”

We’re both at least a little sleep deprived these days. But our little guy is already a month old, so I see why they say that time flies. We’ll be sleeping through the night again before we know it. And in the meantime, I just really cherish that stretch of sleep between midnight and 4:00 am (which, coincidentally, is when the above happened).

When I had my first baby, a few of my friends were effectively calling me ‘birth control’.  It was as though new mums had never before spoken about how hard those first few weeks can be, how lonely a new mum sometimes feels and how utterly exhausting it is to have a new-born.  Do you think mums sugar-coat their experience to make it seem like they are coping better than others?  Is it a pride thing, a badge of honour to be the mum with the fewest bags under her eyes?  I thought I would share some of the ‘secrets’ about early parenthood that aren’t in the glossy magazines (with attached pictures of gorgeous celebrities with perfect bodies snuggling up to their new bundles of joy)…

Things they don’t tell you about being a new mum (that you wish they had)

• You won’t read a book for a loooong time once the baby arrives
• You don’t know real true bone tiredness until you’ve had a new-born baby
• You might hate your husband / partner for a little while
• Your baby might not sleep through the night from 3 months (or 6, 8 or 18 months!)
• You might really hate breastfeeding (or you might love it)
• People might still think you’re pregnant for a little while; you won’t fit into your clothes straight away
• The baby doesn’t do anything other than feed, sleep, make dirty nappies for the first 6 weeks
• Your life will be turned upside down, inside and out and backwards

The good stuff

• The first time your baby smiles will be reward enough for all the sleepless nights
• It gets easier (and better as it goes along)
• Many mums who say they’ll never do it again, do (and often multiple times!)
• There is nothing like the sound of your child’s laughter
• Once you get over ‘hating’ your partner, you will often love him more
• If you work at it, you WILL lose your baby weight.
• You start to measure your successes in different ways – a good day with your baby can be better than running a meeting or achieving at work
• Your life will be rebalanced, with more excitement than before

Please share with us either things you’d wish you’d been told or some of the good stuff!  Join our next Nurturing Mums postnatal group to chat with other mums who are going through the same things you are.  Please see our Facebook page for details.

Confession: Ashelyn breastfeeds to sleep. Not during the day, at least not always, but at night this is what has worked for us. I feed her, she zonks out, I roll her over beside my pillow and she sleeps until some ungodly wee hour of the morning.

But these days she only dozes at the boob before inexplicably waking up wanting to play.

We did finally get around to lowering the crib mattress, thank goodness, so I can plonk her inside without risking much more than a head bump. Her antics are still worth watching, though, because she’ll pull up and do this crazy dance comprised of

1. hip thrusts
2. vigorous shaking of the head
3. exaggerated chewing of imaginary gum
4. murmuring or squeaking

My strategy is to let her wear herself out, which eventually happens … around midnight or 1AM. At first I hoped exhaustion would translate into longer sleeps, but guess what? IT DOESN’T. I’m still up a handful of times. On a good night, once or twice. On a bad night, I lose count …

Kidding. Four or five times on a bad night.

Actually, Ashelyn occasionally pulls this trick of waking at 4AM all fired up to play, and that is the worst. It takes hours to get her back to sleep. She’ll even shimmy over and kiss my face, and then I feel bad for wanting to throw her out the window.

I’ve read that even previously good sleepers may have disturbed nights at around six months, due to (1) teething, (2) separation anxiety, or (3) developmental progress, as in they’re so excited about their new skills that they want to practice them upon waking. Ashelyn’s been drooling since her third month, but to date remains toothless. And she’s not unusually clingy; besides, at night I’m RIGHT THERE. She does, however, start clambering around deliriously even before she’s fully awake.

I haven’t yet committed to anything heavy-handed, because despite sporadic bad nights we’re still making progress. For one thing, Ashelyn is now able to nap on her own, often for half an hour but sometimes for an hour and a half. She falls asleep in the carseat or stroller without as much resistance as before. Now and then we’ll have a really good night, where she’s down before midnight and sleeps until late morning with only one feeding in between.

With future children I’ll probably be much more deliberate about fostering “good sleep habits,” but even if I’d taken a more textbook approach with Ashelyn I’m not wholly convinced that things would be different now. Left to her own devices, she never would settle herself down, only work herself up.

It’s an inconvenience I’m willing to live with.