Oscar season is over folks and just like during hunting, some did better than others. However, in my quest to cover my Oscar favorites there is a special holiday that I missed: Valentine’s Day!  I can’t forget the holiday of love, so I have decided to roll out a film that, to me, is as close to perfection as Citizen Kane. Sleepless in Seattle might not have as powerful content, but the simplicity of the story is both captivating and truthful.

Surprisingly enough, it is not Mom that is in love with this story as much as I, but Dad. Now he will hardly ever admit his deep love for this classic romantic comedy, but catch him with Mom gone for a week and the DVD gets popped in and the ice cream comes out. So what makes this film so appealing to men, especially Dad? This quandary was my task this week.

Sleepless in Seattle stars Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in this classic 90′s love story. The powerful Nora Ephron both directs and co-writes the tale of two people who, against the odds, have a “magic” connection. There is no real way to describe this movie without giving away plot points or giving justice to the magic.

Re-watching it, I was puzzled as to why my manly Dad was so effected by this movie. Mom and I have watched countless rom-coms and he would just scoff and find them both boring, so made it so unique? Personally, I believe it’s this realistic portrayal of soul mates. Dad has always been a love-sick puppy when it comes to Mom.

No matter the occasion he has never stopped loving her and thinking she was the only woman for him. Sleepless in Seattle goes into this deep, passionate love without being raunchy or so fantastical to turn away even the harshest of critics. In a way, I think it’s Dad’s love letter to Mom, which makes it even more romantic and perfect than it already was.

Sincerely,

A Film-Head

Photo Credit:

• Movie Representation

My days are busy and full and my thoughts are scattered.  There’s something about a bunch of kids asking questions about 12 different subjects that really leaves your mind feeling like mush at the end of the day!  But I still love it, so I can’t complain.

Needless to say, tonight I’m giving my brain a break… and watching Sleepless in Seattle.  It puts a smile on my face.  Wow, how young Tom Hanks looks!

I couldn’t help but notice how the words he says on the radio had a new meaning to me now… “Well, I’m going to get out of bed every morning, breathe in and out all day long.  Then after a while I won’t have to remind myself to get out of bed in the morning and breathe in and out.”

I know that feeling.  And I’m thankful I don’t have to remind myself anymore.

It doesn’t matter how much CGI and whiz-bang technology they have these days, nothing beats the feel-good, warm, fuzzy nature of a nineties rom-com, I reckon. Here are just a few of the retro flicks I adore and the key messages I’ve taken away concerning matters of the heart…

SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE – Aww! This ’93 flick, starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, had me at “hello” (which reminds me of another great nineties flick, Jerry Maguire, but I digress…) The focus of this film is on a recently-widowed man’s son calling a radio talk show in an attempt to find his dad a partner. One of the female listeners (with tissues at the ready) is Meg Ryan’s character. She finds she can’t get the lovelorn guy out of her mind, even though she’s engaged… This one’s a good lesson in not settling for second best or ignoring those niggly doubts in a relationship. Hey, Mr Absolutely-Perfect-For-You could be just a phone call away!

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING – Another film with a title alluding to catching zeds, or the lack thereof… I’m sensing a theme here! Anyway, this ’95 flick surrounds a ticket-collecting romantic (Sandra Bullock), who pretends to be engaged to an unconscious man, but can’t fool his (not bad-looking) bro (Bill Pullman). The upshot? Building a web of lies about your life to impress others will only get you in trouble when you should really let your true self shine through.

THE OBJECT OF MY AFFECTION – This ’98 movie centres on a preggers social worker (Jennifer Aniston), who develops romantic feelings for her gay best friend (Paul Rudd) and decides to raise her child with him instead of her domineering boyfriend. The moral of the story? Gay pals are fantastic for shoe-shopping with… not so much for falling in love with.

ONLY YOU – A teacher (Marisa Tomei) believes she’s destined to spend her life with a bloke named ‘Damon Bradley’ after his name’s spelt out on a Ouija board. Days before she’s to marry a podiatrist she may not love, she receives a call from a mate of her fiancé named…Damon Bradley (Robert Downey Jr.)She decides to spend a long weekend pursuing her dream man, who’s holidaying in Venice. The conclusion? Fate works in mysterious ways. She falls in love with Damon, then discovers that he actually lied and that’s not his real name – but she’s still head over heels with him regardless. So much for fate!

CLUELESS – In this ’95 flick, a popular high school student spends her days playing match-maker, helping her gal pals with fashion choices and looking for a man. The film provides a good lesson in being careful in case you fall for your ex-stepbrother… Actually, on second thoughts, it might be better described as: love can be found in unexpected places and sometimes that’s right under your nose.
So… what’s your fave nineties rom-com, and what did you learn from it?

Carla Caruso is the author of Second Chance, featuring a feisty heroine, who time-travels back to the summer of 1998 and hopes to reunite with a past love. YOu can get it from Destiny here.

Dennis Reed: Annie, when you’re attracted to someone, it just means that your subconscious is attracted to their subconscious, subconsciously. So what we think of as fate is just two neuroses knowing that they are a perfect match.
- Movie quote, Sleepless in Seattle

One of my all time cheesy favourite movies.

I have spent many years analyzing the feminine wiles of Katherine Heigl and Meg Ryan, and I have found that with the right guidelines, we ALL can have love lives as perfect as theirs. Follow these simple steps, and before you can say “You had me at hello,” your life will have all the makings of rom-com romance.

1. Make work your life.

(Bonus: Work in fashion or publishing/journalism.)

Before you can find love, you must establish the proper foundation for yourself. Move to New York City and enter a glamorous career field. Work your way up by being ruthless and pairing pencil skirts with stilettos until you hold an executive position. Once you nab that corner office, you shouldn’t sacrifice work for anything resembling a social life. Don’t worry though, because you will have a sassy assistant and coworkers that think your bitchiness is amahzing. This step may take many years, but be patient–it is essential.

2. Be best friends with Judy Greer.

Now that you have your job and a Central Park-facing apartment, seek out Judy Greer and make her your ONLY friend. Judy is great. She literally only cares about your life and your problems, and she will drop everything to help you out. She is plain enough to not steal your thunder at nightclubs, but pretty enough to make a realistic shopping buddy. And since you are probably really neurotic, Judy will make you more grounded with her slutty quips.

3. Have a standing relationship with a man who is completely wrong for you.

Your job as an editor/publisher/fashion designer paired with your daily Judy Greer lunches are certainly time consuming, but you MUST figure out a way to have a fruitless connection with a member of the opposite sex. It is important for everyone else to see how wrong he is for you, while you’re too cynical to notice. This step has a little more wiggle room. You can either have a purely sexual fling with an attractive jerk, or have a monogamous relationship with a good-hearted man who is crazy boring. Just make sure this fellow is someone who won’t care if you later decide to dump him out of nowhere (spoiler: you definitely will dump him out of nowhere).

Congratulations! Your life is now ready for rom-com caliber love to step in.

4. Wait for Mr. Man to manipulate you.

Unbeknownst to you, somewhere a charming guy (let’s call him Mr. Man) is currently constructing a lie that will allow himself full access to your life. Maybe he is making a bet with his friends that he can get you to date him. Maybe he needs to write an exposé article about you. Maybe he somehow knows a lot about you and is creating a fake persona that will fool you into liking him. Step 4 is completely out of your control; just know that it is 100% going to happen. Mr. Man WILL find you and relentlessly woo you while you roll your eyes and recite perfectly crafted comebacks.

5. Don’t be afraid to exploit your major personality flaws!

All human beings are imperfect. Your job is to make sure you throw your flaws right in Mr. Man’s face. He’ll like it! Are you a ditsy and clumsy nutso? Perfect! A Type-A shrew? Even better. Make these “quirks” your entire identity. Constantly trip and spew out awkward, run-on sentences. Walk the fine line between banter and bitchiness in every conversation. This may seem counterintuitive, but just trust me. Mr. Man will like the fact that you aren’t like all the other girls.

6. Allow Mr. Man to be mean to you.

On a similar note, don’t get upset when he calls you out and is basically mean to you. He is going to bluntly explain to you the ways in which you are incorrectly living your life. This is to be expected. All you need to do is act insulted and say something along the lines of, “You don’t even know me!” We will all smile, because we know that he probably knows you better than anyone, and why can’t you just see it, too?! It might seem like Mr. Man is a jerk, but that’s because you’re used to old Boring McGee from Step 3. You are just experiencing what it’s like to be with someone who is witty and passionate.

7. Share a deep moment.

After weeks and weeks of sexually charged banter, have a real conversation with Mr. Man. Realize that (omg!) you are both deep people who have at least one thing in common. (“You want a small intimate wedding? I want a small intimate wedding!”) He will probably tell you something from his childhood that will humanize him completely, like the fact that he had to raise his little sister, or he liked to read. Smile at him and say, “You know, you’re not at all what I expected.” You are now putty in each others’ hands.

8. Experience emotions.

Now that you have discovered Mr. Man’s humanity, you may start to have…feelings. Try to hide them. You are a strong, independent woman with a CAREER, damn it! Allowing yourself to feel compassion and vulnerability does not fit into your super-organized day planner. Yes, you are experiencing emotions; no, you don’t need to let anyone know about them.

Meanwhile, you have been growing increasingly distant from your completely-wrong-for-you boyfriend. Go on and dump him. He will take it like a champ, and maybe even encourage you to go after someone better for you. This break-up has no other possible outcome, so don’t get nervous about it.

9. Find out his secret and get into a HUGE fight.

(Bonus: Find out almost immediately after you two have sex for the first time.)

Mr. Man’s lie has become a truth. Instead of just pretending to be in love with you to win a bet or write an article, he actually is in love with you! Twist! He now begins to feel guilty about the lie that led him to you, and he tries to get out of it. Unfortunately, his friends convince him that winning a bet or furthering his career is more important than love, and he continues his charade.

Too bad you find out his game anyway. This will probably happen right when everything is going perfectly and you are just about to give it all up for love. Confront him about this immediately. “Let me explain!” he’ll say. “That was before I got to know you! Before I…fell in love with you.” Slap him.

10. Get ready for the Grand Gesture.

Swear off love forever. Throw yourself even further into your work and start binge eating (don’t worry, you won’t gain weight). Judy Greer will try to get you off the couch and meet new people, but you can’t be convinced. People are horrible–they will only break your heart. Continue this downward spiral for a few days.

Mr. Man realizes that he has been a fool and vows to get you back. He takes one small piece of information that he learned about you over your whirlwind romance and creates a Grand Gesture around it. Did you tell him that you like Tears for Fears? He’ll sing “Head Over Heels” for you in front of a large, super-interested crowd. Did you mention in passing that you had to fly to Michigan for your aunt’s birthday party? He’ll show up at the airport all out of breath and dreamy. Whatever gesture he chooses will eradicate all the lying and fighting you two have shared and mend your cold, broken heart. Kiss him so strangers can clap for you.

Go live happily ever after. (You’re welcome.)

This picture is infuriating — they are totally not making eye contact. Sheesh.

So, I watched Sleepless on Seattle on a Saturday night and loved it.  Super sweet movie.  Solid romantic comedy with cute side characters (who doesn’t love movie Rosie O’Donnell?).

The thing that moved me most?  Not the romance.  It was the father/son moment with Tom Hanks’ Sam and his kid Jonah.  Goddamn it if I didn’t almost sob in the fetal position when the kid tells his dad that he’s beginning to forget his dead mom.  Thanks, movie, for hitting me where it hurts.  I know exactly how it feels to begin to “forget” a parent who has died.  Having an adorable kid actor throw that in my face?  Not cool, Norah Ephron.

Also, this is probably a good time to divulge my HUGE crush on Tom Hanks.  Huge.  Like, I adore the pants off of Tom Hanks.  I even like his hair in The Da Vinci Code and actually saw Larry Crowne in the theater.

It’s become terribly unfashionable to like Valentine’s Day. Confessing to enjoying the Hallmark hullabaloo, or even its older quainter conventions, is almost becoming un-PC – like saying you’d like to abolish disabled parking bays, or go on your summer hols to Tanzania and shoot the last of the black rhinos in the face.

I thought I was a fully paid-up member of the Puke Patrol. I thought I could stay steely before a proffered rose. I thought I was one of the great denouncers of accepted Romance; could snort derisively at Keats if quoted on the fourteenth day of the second month. That I was way above making doe-eyes over an overpriced meal in a restaurant flatulating at the seams with helium balloons; that I’d knee a man in the nuts if he waved anything bought at Clintons anywhere near me.

STEELY MY ARSE.

I should have suspected I wasn’t quite up to the current vogue of Non-Schmaltz standards when watching Sleepless In Seattle recently. The Empire State building flooded with red hearts just as dear Meg was sweetly dumping her fiancé for Tom Hanks AND I OUTWARDLY SNORTED THE CONTENTS OF MY CRANIUM SO HARD I STILL HAVEN’T FOUND WHERE IT ALL WENT. I think I might have blown open another portal to Narnia. Some poor fawn is probably wandering around with my snot as a jaunty hat.

What caused me to wobble off the Wagon of Well Hard? What reminded me of my roots de romarnce? (Chris De Burgh ref there, ballad-lovers; you’re welcome…)

I’ll tell you. Someone I know told me it was their first Valentine’s day, with an actual Valentine, with a lover.

I didn’t believe them. They are in their thirties, and cute as a button. But they were telling the truth, and for them it wasn’t a silly day. Granted, they didn’t want to run down the street slathered in chocolate body paint, rattling handcuffs that chimed the theme to Zeffirelli’s Romeo & Juliet, but they wanted to mark it. They wanted their Valentine’s Day.

It reminded me of what Valentine’s Day used to mean to me, before I’d had a few extraordinarily bad boyfriends and a divorce under my belt. Making cards for hours, doodling boys names in biro hearts on my arm like love-charm tattoos, my first real card from a boy that wasn’t just my Dad doing bad handwriting, my first Valentine’s kiss, hotels, restaurants, post bunk-up bed-bouffants… Et sexera.

I wondered if the true magic of Valentine’s Day doesn’t lie in the day itself, but in the future that it paints. There’s mystery in all that love stuff. You’re not just excited about the date you’re on, but the dates that will come. What does love have in store for you? What is your future? Love – the confusing dance around the simple biological urge to procreate – is about what will come, as it were, and what will come after that. Love is how we ensure that our silly messy little race will continue. Love is our survival. Shouldn’t at least one day in 365 be a little bit about that?

Love should not of course be vouched by homogenised overpriced tat. Of course I know the best stuff is free – poems on a napkin, holding hands in the rain. A ruddy good snog-up in a doorway.

But surely the people who have been lucky enough to have all this typical Valentine ‘stuff’, cards and flowers and chocolates and stupidly huge teddies delivered to work, don’t really have the right to denigrate it? If you’ve had it all and don’t want it anymore out of some consumerist stand, then don’t have it, but stop telling people that’s what you’ve decided, every fricking year. Grumpy repetition merely creates an alternative-tradition, a parallel non-celebration, a contra-dedication of your time and energy, and certainly one with a less uplifting message at its heart. If you don’t believe in something – the hype of Valentine’s Day, the existence of God, whatever – you have already asserted something strongly enough to yourself. Humans should be content with knowing or supposing what they think they know or suppose, and live their own lives accordingly as they wish. They don’t need to make big outward proclamations; they’re pretty pointless outside of the environs of an invited debate. Having a non-belief in something is not something to be proud of, is not something which defines you as interesting or intelligent; it is just a fact about yourself, like having blue eyes or an outie belly-button. In decrying something essentially harmless we have nothing to offer but a bad energy and there’s enough of that floating about.

Next year I will honour the romantics’ right to an unsullied day and keep my cynical mouth shut. Maybe even while humming Let’s Get It On through a pink fluffy gag…

Always right

The big day—Valentine’s Day—has come and gone. You know, that special day when men feel horribly pressured to give gifts and be romantic and women wait by the window, watching for their life-changing big gift to arrive.

I grew up with boys, so I remember how much pressure there was to get a gift that sent the right message, cost the right amount of money, and satisfied some inner need of the girl. You know, the one that was never expressed in words but that she definitely expected you to understand—because after all, if you loved her, you’d know what she wanted without asking.

From lots of trial, error, angry girlfriends and even angrier breakups, the men I’ve known have figured out a few critical things about gift-giving in the minefield of Valentine’s Day.

The 10 Top Things to Remember Next Valentine’s Day

1) Do not ever, ever, EVER give your girlfriend a gift of jewelry that comes in a ring box, or one that remotely looks like a ring box, unless you are getting engaged. To do so will result in an immediate confiscation of all brownie points earned thus far, and long and unhappy days and weeks ahead for all parties.

Danger, Will Robinson!

2) Flower colors really do have meaning. For the love of God, do NOT give yellow roses (meaning: friendship) when you should give red roses (meaning: passionate love).

3) If you are just starting out with a new girlfriend, a small stuffed animal and a box of chocolates should be enough to satisfy the raging Valentine’s beast. But that’s only if she’s under the age of 17.

4) Never, ever give that same gift to a committed girlfriend, fiancée or wife, unless you want to learn the real meaning of regret.

5) Those commercials on TV for giant stuffed Teddy Bears are cute and funny, but don’t expect to see a 10,000-megawatt smile on your lady friend’s face when you hand her this gift. This mammoth dust-collector takes up an entire couch and should be expected to pay rent if he’s going to live with her full time.

If he intends to get a job, then maybe….

6) When your girlfriend, wife or mother says, “Don’t get me flowers. I don’t need flowers!” what she really means is, “of course I don’t need flowers, but I’m saying this so we can keep up the element of surprise. You don’t need a big screen TV, but that didn’t stop you!”

7) Appliances are not romantic gifts. If you buy one for your girlfriend (even boyfriends don’t want one), you are not romantic. You’re lazy! Wait until February 15 to buy her that new coffeemaker. You won’t be sorry.

8) If you live in the tropics or are a small child, by all means gather up a freshly picked bouquet of flowers and feel good about yourself. All others: call a florist.

9) Don’t have much money? Put even the smallest amount of effort into the gift, and you will be thanked tenfold. If her favorite romantic movie of all time is Sleepless in Seattle, buy her the DVD or download the movie, cook her dinner (chicken Kiev or chicken nuggets, doesn’t matter as long as you try) and sacrifice one night of torture watching that chick flick for a gift that gives you romantic street cred.

A little romance

10) Remember this Golden Rule: if your sweetheart works in an office and every other woman in the office gets flowers AND SHE DOESN’T, you will be in trouble. Don’t be that guy.

I have always enjoyed hearing others tell me about their Valentine’s Day gifts. The champagne/flowers,/engagement ring/best Valentine’s Day of my life stories are always lovely and charming, but give me a good old cried all night/crash-and-burn/fiery conflagration/worst Valentine’s Day of my life story, and I’m all ears.

From my many years of listening, observing, and oh yeah, being a girl, I have heard about (and lived through) many terrible Valentine’s Days. Here is a very unscientific poll of the worst Valentine’s Day gifts ever:

For the Ladies….

• Mini-Vacuum
• Toaster
• Vest
• Galoshes
• Umbrella
• Hats
• Bag of M&Ms
• Framed baby photo—of boyfriend!
• Tickets to a wrestling match
• Dead Flowers
• No Flowers
• Nothing

For the Men…

• Frames
• Ties
• Shirt
• DVD of any rom-com or chick flick
• Key chains
• Gloves
• Flowers
• Car Wax
• Gift certificate for mani/pedi
• Candles
• Book of Love Poems
• Downloads of your (note: not his. He doesn’t care) favorite romantic songs

I’ve gotten my fair share of terrible gifts in my time. Yes, that framed baby photo of the boyfriend was mine. I think I would’ve preferred a tee-shirt that said “I’m With Stupid!”

This would’ve been a better gift

Luckily, I am blessed with a husband who is kind, considerate, and doesn’t listen to me when I tell him not to get me flowers. I have also gotten my fair share of terrific gifts, and even though they are not as funny as the bad ones, here’s a story about one of my favorites.

When I was 8, I took a bad fall. I had to wear a neck brace, suffered a terrible concussion, and sported a lovely, eggplant-shaped bruise on my face. My inability to walk around without getting dizzy and throwing up meant I had to stay in bed for 3 weeks.

Don’t try this at home.

February 14^th fell during that time, and I was feeling down since I thought I wouldn’t be getting any Valentine’s Day cards that year. But lo and behold, my 3^rd grade teacher had all of my classmates make cards and write me letters. Mostly, they said: “Get Well Maria!” and “Come back soon! We miss you!” But here are the two that I enjoyed the most, for very different reasons.

Dear Maria:

I would’ve never sent you this card, but Mrs. G. made me do it. The class is much quieter without you and I can get a lot of work done. I don’t miss you but I am sorry you broke your head. See you soon.

Thomas

Then there was this one:

Dear Dear Dear Dear Maria,

Life just isn’t as much fun without you. I haven’t laughed once since you’ve been gone. There’s no one to share my snack with at snack time, and Mary Beth keeps playing her flute and singing “Kumbayah” but you’re not here to laugh along with me! Get better and come back soon. I miss you!

Here is some money to get you through. Have Chris go get you some Wacky Packs to keep you company while you rest.

Love XXOOXX,

Perette

P.S. Don’t listen to Thomas. He’s an idiot.

Change is good!

Perette taped $1 in change to my card, which was also decorated with hearts, flowers, kittens and puppies. She knew I was a sucker for kittens and puppies. $1 was enough for 4 wacky packs, so Chris and I could share. We sat in my bed and howled with laughter over our cards. Then, we almost broke our teeth on the hard-as-wood gum that came along with it. Those were good times and resulted in one of the best Valentine’s Days ever.

Gotta love ‘em

So Hungry Lifers…what’s your favorite Valentine’s memory? Best gift? Worst? Please help me continue my unscientific research and let us all know by leaving a comment below.  Thanks!

Recipe:

Chicken Kiev

Yes, Valentine’s Day is over, but there’s a long weekend ahead. Go ahead and cook—and start earning those brownie points all over again.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/chicken-kiev-recipe/index.html

Have the butcher butterfly the breasts for you and pound them to 1/8” thickness if you can’t do it yourself.

Enjoy!

After a year or so, I returned to the Screenwriters Association of Santa Barbara, to hear Oscar nominated screenwriter Jeff Arch, and I’m so glad I did.

His talk was named “Writing the Story Only You Can Write,” but he left a structured speech presentation aside and dove directly into questions and answers. One of the works he’s most known for, which he wrote when he was 35 years old, is Sleepless in Seattle, which, captivated many of the audience’s questions.

Twenty-two years after selling his script, he’s now writing the script for the theater version of the same title, which will open at the Pasadena Playhouse.

I was delighted to hear the life lessons of a screenwriter in short meaningful, matter of fact statements, sprinkled throughout the evening; among them were the following:

• As a screenwriter, the only things you have control over are the words on the paper
• You gotta be a real whore for a good idea.
• Ask everyone: What worked for you, and what didn’t?
• I don’t like villains. People don’t need bad characters they usually create their own problems.

In his answers he also had spatters of methodology and procedural wisdom including:

• As a rule don’t use flashbacks
• You need an agent or an entertainment lawyer
• Junior staff attend film festivals
• Finish a draft. Take a 3 week break and come back to it. Mark it up, and edit. Do this a total of 3 times.
• In your screenplay don’t overuse adjectives. The questions to be sure to answer are: Can ‘they’ see it? Can ‘they’ hear it? No need to describe a cafe in endless detail, a simple ‘Tired, 50s, Retro Cafe’ will suffice. Leave the rest to the production crew.

He shared the anecdote Sylvester Stallone’s tenacity to write the story of a down and out man that faces a challenge and becomes a boxing champion, during a time when nobody bought or made boxing movies. To top it off, after he wrote Rocky, studios execs told Stallone he wouldn’t star in the film because he couldn’t act.

The core of Jeff’s message:

“Everyone has at least one story. The story only you can write, you already know. It’s those things you wonder about, it’s those ‘what ifs’, it’s anything that makes you angry, wistful…” The person you are when you write the story changes and grows, but if you’re not writing to grow, then it’s not worth reading.”

Jeff asked the audience, “How many of you have had a broken heart?” Many hands in the packed room went up. He then asked, “How many of you died from it?” From here he went on describe the basic methodology of writing THAT story – the one we’re meant to write. “It’s the architecture of a broken heart that creates that connection with others. You had a desire, expectation, dreams and there it all went. Write HONESTLY. Write with your heart and soul. Don’t hold anything back. Get vicious with your own work. When you’re done leave it for a little while. Run diagnostics tests. Ask others, “Does this scene work for you? If you were to take a break and decide to finish reading it, in which scene and place exactly does that happen?”

Like books, and other writers and endless courses, Jeff reminded us that the screenwriters’ job is to capture the attention of the reader (or viewer) and to keep it, however, Jeff was so approachable, personable, and sincere that his version was like a new lesson learned.

Ross and Rachel from “The One With the Morning After” episode of Friends in which they break up for the first time. They would do this several more times before the end of the show.

This week I focus on the many Valentines Day stories currently poluting the pop culture sites.

If I Only Have Time to Read One Story, What Should It Be?

Are You A Bad Person If You Like You’ve Got Mail More Than Sleepless In Seattle?  Maybe.

Margaret Lyons and Josh Wolk over at Vulture duke it out over which is the better Nora Eprhon/Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan vehicle: Sleepless in Seattle (1993) or You’ve Got Mail (1998)? I feel like the internet will collectively turn against me if I admit to liking the latter and not really caring about the former.  So, this is me not doing that (via Vulture.com )

The Rest

Film

1. Screw Love – Six Films Which Are Cynical About Romance

Several  films have attempted to address the corrupting influence of popular culture on our expectations in relationships, some of which regard the influence as a plague quietly infecting the masses (500 Days of Summer, Don Jon’s Addiction) whereas others acknowledge the artifice of fictionalized romance but re-affirm its positive potential (Friends With Benefits, Sleepless in Seattle).  What of those movies altogether cynical about romance? Well, this is the list for you. Michelle Williams pop up in two of the six films, Blue Valentine (2010) and Take This Waltz (2012), which begs the question: should we be worried about Michelle Williams?  (via WeGotThisCovered.com)

2. Awkward Sexual Encounters On Film – Our Favorites

It is equally refreshing/jarring whenever film depicts sexual encounters which are horribly awkward as opposed to earth-moving, bed-breaking (I’m looking at you, Twilight) displays of harmonious sexual chemistry.  Britt Hayes at ScreenCrush recognized this, and put together a list of painfully awkward movie sex scenes.  Where is the MPAA agitating scene from Blue Valentine ? (via ScreenCrush.com)

3. A History of Love On Film

In the vein of Jeanine Basinger’s recently published I Do and I Don’t: A History of Marriage in Films, which attempts to trace the history of the depiction of marriage in film, Buzzfeed has a very concise overview of the evolution of on-screen romance throughout film history (via Buzzfeed.com).

Television

1. Why You Want To Break My Heart-Heartbreaking Moments From Science-Fiction Television

Of course, you know Joss Whedon is well-represented here, with both Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel up there. As Camera Obscura sang, hey Lloyd, I’m ready to be heartbroken, and this list reads like a stroll down heartbreak lane. (via ScienceFiction.com )

2. Relationship Rules and Advice As Distilled From Years Upon Years of Television Viewing

Truthfully,I have a soft spot for any reference to Ross’ infamous “We were on a break!” defense for his infidelity with the photocopy girl from season 3 of Friends.  CinemaBlend argues this instance teaches us that in relationships it is best to fully define terms/phrases such as “on a break” or “separated” before actually going through with it. (via CinemaBlend.com)

3. Great Love Triangles From Geek-Friendly Television

To quote John Lithgow’s character from a season 4 episode of 3rd Rock from the Sun, “A triangle is the strongest shape in geometry, but somehow a love triangle just collapses.”  Yet we love watching those bastards collapse, as indicated by this list of favorite TV love triangles.  I am wondering how the hell they listed Angelus/Spike/Drusilla over Angel/Spike/Buffy from Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel!  (via DenofGeek.com)

Video Games

1. They Really Should Start Seeing Other People – Dysfunctional Relationships From Video Games

During any and all of your Super Mario Bros. video game playing, have you ever stopped to ponder what type of relationship Mario and Princess “Toadstool” Peach have outside of his constantly having to save her from same Bowser-like captor?  Well, Gamelogical has.  Also, I really, really want to argue against their assertion that Elena Fisher needs to leave Nathan Drake (from Sony’s Uncharted series), but their rather real world-based arguments make total sense. (via Gameological.com)

Fun Videos

1. YouTube Clips of Marriage Proposals At Disneyworld

The only surprise marriage proposal I have ever witnessed in-person was at a Kansas City Royals game, and it was of the standard couple-suddenly-on-jumbotron-guy-gets-on-one-knee-girl-awkwardly-says-yes-crowd-cheers variety.  According to this list (with YouTube clips) from GeeksOfDoom, I should have been going to Disney theme parks to get the really good surprise proposals.  My favorite from their list  is the first one, in which a man enlists a Bruno Mars song and a flash mob to propose to his girlfriend because if you propose at Disney you best do it via a tightly choreographed dance and song.  (via GeeksOfDoom.com)

Related articles

• Film: Great Job, Internet!: Today in “Hey, this still exists”: The You’ve Got Mail website (avclub.com)
• 10 Best Romantic Comedies of All Time! (thenew1037.cbslocal.com)

On this Valentine’s Day, don’t torture your loved one with The Notebook, Dirty Dancing, An Affair To Remember, or Casablanca. There are romantic movies that are great for a couple and these are my favorite.

I know Pride & Prejudice, Sleepless in Seattle, and When Harry Met Sally may be chick flicks. However they are very good and filled with humor. Not to mention that all three are classics.

What is your favorite romantical movie? 

It started when I walked by a display of Valentine’s Day cards in Target. I should have kept walking, but something drew me to the display. Oh, the cards are so pretty and glittery, I thought. I’ll just look at a few of them.

Bad idea. It’s embarrassing when you well up a bit while standing across from the Pizza Hut station in Target. I found the card that I’d want to get from someone. It’s one of those brown recycled paper cards. On the front there’s a picture of a plate of spaghetti with two forks. Inside, it has what to me is a wonderful sentiment. It’s not overly sappy, it’s not flowery, it’s just simple, to the point, and, like I said, wonderful. It’s what I want in a relationship.

It says: “I like that we can be ourselves with each other. That we can laugh at the same things. And how we just get each other. We’re lucky like that.”

Finally I pull myself away from the card display and find a package of Pepperidge Farm Snickerdoodles. I avoid the card display on my way to the checkout line, buy the Snickerdoodles, and go home.

I go home and eat the Snickerdoodles (not the whole package, but definitely more than the recommended serving) and decide to watch Sleepless in Seattle on TV. I should say that I’ve never actually watched Sleepless in Seattle before now, and I see why. The movie’s about 30 minutes along when I start watching, and by the time I get to the next commercial break I realize that compared to Meg Ryan in the movie I’m the definition of strength, even if I am brushing some Snickerdoodle crumbs from the collar of my bathrobe.

I’m just going to come right out and say it: Meg Ryan is bats*** crazy in this movie. When I realize this, I turn on my computer and decide to liveblog the movie. Can you say you’re liveblogging if you’re really just watching a 20-year-old film being shown on TV and typing stream of consciousness notes about it that you intend to publish on your blog a week or so later? I don’t know, but it happened. This is what I said:

Meg Ryan uses her work computer to research information about Tom Hanks (I can’t be bothered to remember what the names of the characters are in this movie). She then uses her work computer–her work computer–to contact a private investigator–a private investigator!–to, essentially, stalk Tom Hanks for her–gather personal information, snap photos.

Now she’s back at  the home she shares with her fiance Bill Pullman. Wait, Meg Ryan’s engaged? And she’s still stalking Tom Hanks? What’s wrong with her? She’s taking the radio into the kitchen pantry in the middle of the night and hides in there listening to the call-in show where she first discovered the Tom Hanks character. If this synopsis doesn’t really make sense it’s because this movie doesn’t really make sense to me. If that happened in real life she’d be slapped with a restraining order.

Oh my gosh–now she’s at his house! Meg Ryan has gone to Tom Hanks’ house on a whim. They have never met, she has sent him one letter after hearing him on the radio, and now she has flown across the country to find him–no, stalk him. How is this ok? How is this an acceptable storyline????

Also, not to get all preachy, but I’d like to point out a double standard. Somehow in movies it’s more acceptable for a woman to do this sort of thing. Oh, that wacky yet endearing Meg Ryan. She’s so quirky the way she flies across the country to find a man she heard on the radio. But if a guy did that, it would be instantly deemed creepy, and probably also criminal, and the movie would be on Lifetime and star someone like that guy who used to play Superman on that mid-90s Superman reboot Lois and Clark. Dean Cain, that’s him. He’d be the creepy guy in the Lifetime movie.

Now Meg Ryan is creepily peering from behind a building watching Tom Hanks playing on the beach with his son. Meanwhile there’s some light-hearted happy romantic song playing on the soundtrack. But this is not ok! Am I the only one who thinks this is totally not ok? Again, a simple change of the soundtrack to something more sinister would guarantee this movie a place on the Lifetime lineup.

Now she’s on the phone with her friend saying “I watched him playing on the beach with his son…I’m going back over there tomorrow to talk to him. Is this crazy?”

And then her friend (Rosie O’Donnell) says, “No. That’s the weirdest part about it.” So I guess Rosie O’ Donnell’s crazy, too.

If I were her friend I’d say, “Yeah, it is crazy. This guy has a kid and you’re sneaking around Seattle watching them play together. This is weird. No, you know what, this got weird a long time ago…I don’t think we should be friends anymore.”

I hit the “info” button on my remote control and find that even the description of the movie speaks to its true undertones: “A recently engaged newswoman becomes obsessed with meeting a grieving widower she heard on a late-night radio show.” Obsessed is never a good word, is it?

Tom Hanks’ friend says “What kind of woman would write to someone they heard on the radio?” Someone with issues, I think.

Also, Tom Hanks’ kid is obviously dealing with alot of unresolved issues since the death of his mother. I think maybe Tom Hanks should have gotten him some family therapy or something. This kid hops on a plane to NY by himself, when the taxi that he takes–by himself–arrives at the Empire State Building, the cab driver asks if he’s going to spit off the top. The kid says with a smile, “No, I’m going to meet my new mother.” Wait, what? There’s this big-bandy razzy snazzy New York music playing in the soundtrack when the kid says this to the cab driver. I suppose this is all supposed to be adorable. But it’s just sad and strange and creepy. “I’m going to meet my new mother.” Part of me hopes so, because maybe if this kid had a mother then he wouldn’t have been able to go to the airport by himself, get on a plane by himself, fly across the country by himself, wind up at an airport in Queens by himself, take a cab into Manhattan by himself, and wind up at the Empire State building by himself. Argh!  Now he’s walking up to strangers! And asking them if they’re Annie. (Oh, I guess that’s the name of the Meg Ryan character.)

OK, now Meg Ryan is going through the most unrealistically smooth breakup in history. Probably because Bill Pullman has no soul. She’s already told him all about her obsession with Tom Hanks, so maybe Bill Pullman is so calm because he’s realized that he’s just been given a reprieve from marrying a crazy lady. She looks out the window and sees a heart light up on the Empire State Building and says to the fiance she’s just broken up with two seconds ago, “It’s a sign!”

Who are the people in the world who think this is a good movie?

I guess the film has what’s deemed a happy ending, with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan falling into each other’s arms or something, and I guess that kid is standing in the background with a dopey smile or something. But I don’t know for certain because at the commercial break that came before the end of the movie I decided it was a good time to go moisturize my face; by the time I got back to the living room Jimmy Durante was already singing “Make Someone Happy” over the closing credits.

What. It’s wintertime, moisturizing is important. And very healthy.

I can’t possibly be the only person in the world who thinks that Sleepless in Seattle is far from the classic that it’s been made out to be and is instead a creepy, disturbing film about a clearly unstable, obsessed woman and a widower whose judgement must be clouded due to some untreated PTSD. Right?

Hvis du er single, er her nogle bud på, hvad du kan lave i morgen (hvis du ikke har en date)-

- Tag i biffen og se en romantisk film med en veninde, din søster eller din mor (eller tag ind og se hårdt pumpende action… fordi du KAN!)

- Hyg dig derhjemme med dig selv. Hvorfor ikke? Du er det bedste selskab der findes! Læs en god bog (50 Shades of Grey anyone?? Grrrr…), tænd lidt stemningslys, få dig en luksus cocktail med lidt lækker musik i baggrunden og pop “Sleepless in Seattle”, “Fornuft eller Følelse”, “When Harry Met Sally” eller en anden yndlingsfilm på skærmen. (Du må også gerne, selvom du ikke er single). Does it get better than this? I think not.

- For nogle år siden, da jeg var Han-Solo, inviterede jeg ret spontant nogle gode venner og veninder til Valentine’s hygge med hjemmelavet mad, hjertepynt og masser af god musik. Det var faktisk en ritig god aften, og langt fra en dårlig ide!

Hvis du skal være sammen med din kæreste, eller skal du overraske din kæreste kunne du-

- Arrangere en SPA dag eller en SPA/hotel weekend

- Forkæl din udkårne med en luksus middag eller restaurant besøg

- Giv en sød lille (eller endnu bedre stor) gave; gerne en der betyder noget

Hvis du (som mig) har en kæreste, der er elendig til at ønske sig gaver. Så er her nogle tips…

- Star-Wars-Vækkeure

- Billetter til fodbold

- Øl abonnement!

- Hans yndlingsmad og film

- Nyeste gadget/gadgets

- Af en eller anden grund, bruger mænd usandsynligt lang tid på toilettet… nu hvor han alligevel er derude, kan du give ham den her?

Selvfølgelig skal Valentine’s ikke nødvendigvis fejres, og du kan ‘erklære’ din kærlighed året rundt (også til en god veninde, ven, far etc.), MEN nu har du en god ‘undskyldning’, for at forkæle den eller dem, du holder af… so why not? Don’t be a hater!

Min kæreste er i London lige nu. Glæder mig SÅ meget, til han er hjemme hos os igen!

BONUS:

Her er nogle gode sange til at komme i den rette… ‘stemning’…

I hope you all have a wonderful start to your week.

Since Valentine’s Day is this week…I felt a quote about LOVE was appropriate!

This quote is from one of my absolute favorite romantic movies-Sleepless in Seattle!

An Affair to Remember (1957)

I love this movie so much! It is one of my favorite romantic films. I mean it has CARY GRANT in it, so already you know it is going to be wonderful. It may sound familiar to you Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks fans, as it is the film that Sleepless in Seattle is based aaround. An Affair to Remember is the film that Meg Ryan’s character, Annie, and Rosie O’Donnel’s character, Becky, are crazy about. Even Tom Hanks character Sam’s sister Suzy, (played by Tom Hanks’ wife Rita Wilson) adores  it. In fact if you haven’t seen either movie I recommend watching An Affair to Remember before Sleepless in Seattle. You just enjoy the movie on a deeper level that way.

An Affair to Remember is a remake of Love Affair starring Charles Boyer and Irene Dunne. As much as I like orginal films and Irene Dunne, I prefer An Affair to Remember because of Cary Grant. Like I said before, I’m a big fan.

Anyways, An Affair to Remember is about two people who meet and fall in love, although both’s affections are engaged elsewhere. Nickie Ferrante, (Cary Grant), is a playboy engaged to Lois Clark; while Terry McKay, (Deborah Kerr), is mistress to Kenneth Bradley. The two meet on an ocean liner, but dispite their best efforts, the two end up falling in love. As both feel they are not good enough for the other, they agree to each live on their own and meet up in six months at the top of the Empire State Building. If the other doesn’t show up; the one waiting will know that they decided to go on with their life in the orginal direction planned.

In six months, Nickie is a painter and he eagerly rushes to the Empire State Building. Terry is a singer in a nightclub, and on her way to meet Nickie, she gets hit by a cab; paralyzed for the rest of her life. Nickie ends up waiting the whole night for her, but she never comes.

It’s so Sad!

Terry tells Nickie nothing about the accident, feeling that she is not worthwhile being paralyzed. She is too proud to go to him, and too scared. The two cross paths at a concert, and Nickie sees her with her old boyfriend, hurt and betrayed at what he thinks she did.

The end scene is the best though! It is the most romantic and I am so sorry I don’t have a video to show you, but I couldn’t find one.

But here comes the romantic moment. It is at the end of the film and is Christmas. Terry is going to spend the day alone at home, when Nickie shows up, angry, bitterm and hurt; but determined to give her the shawl that his grandmother left Terry when she died. (They meet when the ship docked on an island).

He tells her he painted a picture of her, and didn’t sell it. Instead a woman in a wheelchair wanted it, and didn’t have enough money so he had his dealer give it to her.

“Nickie Ferrante: You know, l painted you like that, with the shawl. l wish you could have seen it. Courbet said it was one of my best. l didn’t think l could ever part with it, but there was no reason to keep it any longer. l couldn’t take money for it because, well, you know…So Courbet told me a young woman came into the gallery and… she liked it. She saw in it what l’d hoped you’d see, so… l told Courbet to give it to her. Because he said she didn’t have any money, and not only that, she was…Anyway, l told him to give it to her..

At first he was angry that she is so indifferent to him, and never even got up to greet him; but as he is talking he starts thinking about the woman in the wheelchair and Terry’s actions. Could they be the same person?

Nickie looks around, and then he sees it. THE PAINTING!

He runs to her and holds her in his arms.

This is the part everyone starts weeping at, bawling. Who can blame them? It is such a sweet moment, the two reunited.

“Terry McKay: Darling, don’t look at me like that.
Nickie Ferrante: Why didn’t you tell me? lf it had to happen to one of us, why did it have to be you?
Terry McKay:lt was nobody’s fault but my own. l was looking up. lt was the nearest thing to heaven. You were there.
Nickie Ferrante:Oh, darling.
Terry McKay: Don’t worry, darling. lf you can paint, l can walk. Anything can happen, don’t you think?
Nickie Ferrante: Yes, darling.
Terry McKay: Yes, darling.”

So romantic

So in Sleepless in Seattle, you get some great scenes of the women talking about it.

One of the best scenes is in the begining when Becky and Annie are watching An Affair to Remember. I love this scene because it is the kind of conversations I have with my friends after I watch a great movie. I am always Annie in these scenarios.

“Annie Reed: Now those were the days when people knew how to be in love.
Becky: You’re a basket case.
Annie Reed: They knew it. Time, distance, nothing could separate them, because they knew it was right. It was real. It was… 
Becky:  A movie. That’s your problem. You don’t want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie.

This is one of my favorite scemes as Suzy (Rita Wilson) shares the story of An Affair to Remember with her brother Sam (Tom Hanks) and husband. The guys make fun of her, but I love this scene because when I bring up the story of An Affair to Remember I tell it in the exact same way Suzy does.

I love this scene because I can see myself having the reaction of Annie or Becky.

In the end Annie and Sam get the romantic ending that Terry and Nickie never got.

What Shampoo does this guy use?

Okay, okay, you caught me. I was watching Pocahontas… again. It’s OK though, I was on a fact finding mission.

Life is hard – no duh! – and from time to time people (including well rounded individuals such as myself) need advice. Some consult agony aunts, others go to psychics and the rest run off on soul searches to far off lands of the orient. I’ll be honest with you, dear reader, I’m no ‘Sleepless in Seattle’ or Demi Moore (as in ‘Ghost’ people) and I’m better at eating than praying and loving. What I do do (stop sniggering please) is watch certain movies – the ones that I watched during my childhood. If you ask me Walt Disney can dole out more life advice than any Mystic Meg or horoscope.

So, that’s why I was watching Pocahontas, and did I get any useful advice? Sort of – but it’s hard to figure out whether you should wear a coat when leaving the house by watching a cartoon about a native american princess. While I didn’t actually find an answer to my dilemma while watching the movie, I did learn a new life lesson… You never know when everything is going to go wrong. Take Pocahontas for example. She had it all: she was a princess, she was due to marry a brave warrior, she could talk to trees (It’s not quite talking to animals, but I’d take it) and judging by those flowing locks she obviously used the same shampoo Derek Shephard uses. And then it all went wrong. It just goes to show, you never quite know what’s ‘Just around the river bend’ – a song that does not get the recognition it deserves if you ask me!

So, with all that in mind I decided to wear the coat when I left the house, and would you believe it, it started lashing rain 5 minutes after I left. Looks like there was rain around that particular meander. Thanks for the advice Walt!