I seem to get a few hits from this porn-type stuff, searches for tags I put on like fuck, sex, manatees and so on. Even my travel blog gets the occasional “Thai girls” search engine hits. So, being close to Xmas and all, I thought I better give something to these poor fat slobby sleazy fucks that are sitting there with four cans of coke poured into a vase, three meat lover’s pizzas, potato chip crumbs in their lap, sitting at the PC in a darkened room searching for “fucking” on WordPress. Here ya go ya fat fucks:

Fuck, lick, slap, suck, kiss, bite, push, hard, soft, sherpas in sheep costumes, fanny, doodle, NURSE (that bit isn’t part of it, that was just me typing out loud in my cell, it’s happy tablet time), where was I? Oh yeah, slide, poke, sweat, dick, lick, slappy mc slap, pull hair, rubber gimp mask, rubber chickens I dunno, what are you people into?

Work with me here. No pun intended.

OK, I’ll give it a bash. There’s this chick, right? She has these boobs and shit, so you’re like, sqeezing that shit, right? And she’s all like “ooohh yeah daddy, give it to me hard” in a stupid fake voice and then does one of those Beverly Hills 90210 girly giggles. You’re like “Hell yeah, bitch” and start going crazy, tearing her clothes off left and right, I mean that shit is flying everywhere. It’s all lacy shit too, HOW FUCKING HOT IS THAT? LACY SHIT! and then you pull out your 27 inch mega-wang and dust off the Oreo crumbs from your stomach and say “OK this is Captain Penetrator calling Naval Base, preparing to dock” and she just goes apeshit, OM NOM NOM NOM. BAM, you’ve slapped her in the face and say “Bad doggy” and she wimpers then cries, then plays a gnarly air guitar, fuck this bitch is mad hot.

So then you’re getting down to business, and you have one leg on her cheek, one leg on the couch (I forgot, there’s a couch, OK?) she has one foot in your ear, and the other on the curtain rail near the window. It’s the maddest sex position in the world, and you just invented it because that’s how fucked up you are, in a fully awesome way. Then after that bit, you’re like “Can we go missionary?” and she’s like “Hell yeah bro, I’m catholic, I LOVE that shit!” BAM, you’re going hard mish style. It’s SO lame that it’s cool. You’re hell cool at fucking. Now you’re like “Yo, I’m gonna come, I’m gonna… o… oh… ooHH… OOOOHHH” and she’s like “Oh YEAH I’m so HORNY” and you’re still doing your “O” face and AAAARRRGGGHH your mum walks in and turns the light on and it’s actually your aunty.

Suck shit you stinky perverts, fuck off somewhere else.

Okay, we haven’t been on in a while, because we have been doing school stuff, and haven’t been able to blog.  “Stuff” has happened…

So let us update you.

Tiffany had a really weird moment on Tuesday (today). We were singing in school, and all of a sudden, she realized she didn’t like Leo anymore. It was just like BAM!!!! She is seriously going to be in an asylum in 5 years… Her brain just told her that she didn’t like him anymore. You could say it was a gradual thing, but it’s like all of a sudden it was clear. Carrie has been getting on Tiffany’s last nerve lately. She has been acting like *weird facial expression*. She’s trying to steal one of  Tiffany’s other really good friends. Oh, and the teachers have been being assholes. Tiffany got in trouble for rolling her head around and saying goodbye “too loudly”. What the fuck, man?

Michelle also had a weird experience on Tuesday (today). Her History class was divided up into three groups, and Edwin was in her group. Out of the five people, we all were goofing off, two more than the rest of us. Those two got taken out, so it was just Michelle, Edwin, and someone else. The other person was being really annoying and not doing anything at all. She also got taken out, so it was just Edwin and Michelle. Oh yeah, Stephanie and Edwin are going out. Damn it, it bothers the both of us. Michelle found out by…some illegal stuff. Not really…but kinda. Just forget that we said that. (: Anyway, it was only Edwin and Michelle left. We had to write a play, so we started to do a remix of Cinderella. Talk about awkward. Michelle and Edwin having to work together after him going out with Stephanie? Ugh. Bullshit, man. That’s bullshit.

Michelle has been trying to ignore Edwin, but it’s so hard. She thinks she still likes him, but she doesn’t want to, but she’s not sure if she does. It’s majorly confusing…

So there’s your update!! School isn’t going super well; Tiffany is failing two classes, and the teachers are being assholes, as mentioned before. Michelle almost failed three tests, and the teachers are being…assholes.

~Emiddy is Your Remiddy!

So one of my most used words happens to be Myspace.  I have this tic from the video of the girl getting caught after going on a date with a stranger from Myspace.  Her brother was laughing in the background whispering in a high frequence ‘myspace’ over and over.

It has no context and is randomly stated when no other word fits.  That properly describes my experience with Myspace.  Seriously is Myspace legitamite to anyone?  Maybe I’m just angry because the networking I have experienced on this website has been less than adequate.

Old Men:

One time I recieved a friendship request from a man probably in his late sixties who lived in Florida.  I questioned why he would extend this hand of kindness to a 16/17 year old individual who lived in NoWhere, Ohio.  However, through my powerful skills of deduction I decided it was because he was pervin all over my body.   Let’s just say the topless shot beside a boat and orientation: gay set it off.

Requested Denied:  Usually this means to stop contacting if you do not really know this person, unless you happen to be me friending Nick Lazzarini on facebook to try to stalk him (he is a celebrity and chose to give up his privacy).  However, he wasn’t and he continued to push.  Within my inbox he placed a message describing himself as an fun guy who happens to be a little older, but that just means there is a plethora of experiences to help me through my daily trials of life.  He also added a lot of young people come under his wing.

Wait, what experience could he give me? As an older gay male could he help me through understanding my own experience as a gay male.  At the age of 17, I decided he probably came out much later in life probably after a failed marriage charading as a cover up.  So what would he know about growing up gay in a small republican town?

I think he wanted to teach me how to use a camera and send them through across the world wide web so he could cum under his own wing.  REPORTED

Youth:

Youngsters seem to be attracted to myspace.  Their whole lives seem to be surronded around how many friends they have and how many comments they have on their pictures of them in the same pose.  And I have come to ruin their lives.

Incident: I usually get requests by young boys saying they think I’m so “sexy” and they are really tired of the boys their age.  I think they are just tired of not being allowed to mack on the boys their age because they aren’t gay or don’t know it yet.  This one boy did this to me.  However, he was actually really mean about it.  He said that he liked my profile pictures and felt attracted to boys, but that gay people were going to hell and I was too.

Okay, I know I don’t believe in Hell but my mom does so don’t even think about sending her baby to hell.   I purused through his myspace.  He seemed to update everyday commenting and receiving comments every day posting pictures sending those awful mass gifs to peoples comment walls.

REPORTED; myspace account deleted.  I hope he cried like that boy whose WOW account got deleted!

Myspace Shot:

‘Myspace shot’ refers to the angle of the picture taken and the pose of the subject:  Held Above with the head only slightly tilted upward and a Mary-kate and Ashley Olsen pought.

Usually seen with bangs for an emo aesthetic.

There will be at least 75 of photos of this style with varying color enhancements and hair accesories.

You know what I want to tell these people:

FUCK YOU, SMILES ARE FREE, CAMERAS HAVE A SELF PORTRAIT TIMER.

Crotch Shot:

Myspace is for sluts.  Don’t believe me put a provacative photo up and see how many more requests you get.  I used to like to go between the two to see how many people would re-request me after I switched to one of my more…. avant garde?… photos.  They don’t come back.

Don’t try to look for relationships on Myspace.  They probably have 4 STDS from other myspace correspondences and you will never get anyone who you would find attractive.

Studies have shown that individuals are attracted to individuals of a similar beauty status.  Not on Myspace give a man a digital mask and he will go after everyone.  I can’t even discuss the people who have tried to contact me.  but I’ll give you a hint: Ginger, Blind, Bad Teeth, Walmart.  I know you might get on me for that one, but I doubt you do any different.  There are long shots and then there are ain’t never gonna fucking happen. Learn the difference.

-EPF

I was on the T train, heading downtown the other day to meet an old high school friend.

On the train I overheard the following awesomeness:

Girl 1: Can you still get STDs when you are on the pill?
Girl 2: No, I don’t think so.
Girl 1: Oh good.

Cher – Dark Lady

Album : Dark Lady

Year : 1974

I feel sick to my stomach every time I see a someone playing with another person’s emotions. It’s so fucking sickening. My brother used to be like that, and I’m sure he still is at times. I know, and sadly have unknowing gotten involved with, several guys like that. It’s sick! Sex with different people that means nothing. If you’re both into one night stands, whatever, just be safe and don’t make a slutty habit out of it. Especially if you’re supposedly looking for that special someone, because then, it just makes you look like a bullshitting prick.

I hate when guys can’t count their sex partners. It rubs me the wrong way. And they’ve expierimented with heavy drugs. And you know they still do it a little bit, because they hangout with skeezy little stoners and people who snort and shoot, etc. And the drinking, they don’t know when to quit. Drinking and driving isn’t an issue because they don’t care. As long as they get what they want. Their idiots! And don’t even get me started on cheating. Only slutty skanks cheat. Especially if you’re not telling your partner about it. Do it once and you may have a shot. Do it twice, and give your partner proof…. Bye, bye! Believe me when I tell you they will find out.

Anyways, I’m so glad I decided not to watch The Notebook tonight. Then I would’ve been crying even harder. I already watched Brokeback Mountain tonight. Jeez! Anyways, have a good night!

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95% sluts 5% lesbians – just watch the movies twilight & new moon. First she fucks the vampire dude, then goes to the werewolf dude, and now she goes back to the vampire dude. All i see is slut. It’s like they (girl in this case) choose the best alternative they got at the moment and are just waiting for another guy that is better. This we can see in the movie new moon.

Rihanna – Russian Roulette

Rihanna – Russian Roulette (DVW Remix) new

Rihanna – Russian Roulette (Urban Noize Mix) new

Rihanna – Russian Roulette (Smoke Jumpers Remix) new

Madonna – Revolver (David Guetta Remix) new

Lady Gaga – Bad Romance (Electrolightz Freak Mix) new

Drop The Lime – Devil’s Eyes (Diplo’s B-Live Remix) new

Daniel Van Flymen

The Golden Filter – Thunderbird

The Golden Filter – Thunderbird (Dub Mix)

Like the female computer loser that I am, there’s a couple of forum websites that I frequent. I am curious as to how these sites end up becoming dating sites after a certain amount of time. Once a forum becomes popular, or if you join a popular forum, you begin receiving incoherent and almost completely ineligible messages from men of all ages giving you their phone number, asking you out, trying to get you to meet up with them immediately, asking for sex, telling you you’re beautiful (even when you have a picture up that doesn’t even show what you look like – you’re female and that means they might have a chance, apparently), etc. These messages usually go something like this:

hey sxy, wan 2 met up? u r sooooo sexy.

or, similar to a message that I received yesterday from some creep that went something like this:

hi i m mail new in calgary and looking for a good grl plz call me if u r interested my no is 403-890-#### thanks

This kind of behaviour baffles me. It’s not just men who do it. I know there are women online (and many young women) that fall for, take advantage of or instigate this kind of crap. It’s appalling. I no longer reply to any of these messages. I used to make sure this person was aware of how ridiculous I thought they were and, basically, how I’d like for them to rot somewhere not so nice during their next possible level of existence. Part of me feels somewhat bad for making fun of the illiterate, so I’ve stopped. Hence the non-replying stance I’ve taken.

It’s like when a really wonderful and curious person with trisomy of chromosome 21 asks when your birthday is and is seemingly quite interested in having a conversation with you. In this situation you usually – or at least I do – partake in this conversation. Why? Because I am genuinely interested in having a conversation with them, too. They always have something so profound and simple to say. It’s amazing. Anyway, back to my point: It’s like trying to make fun of someone you deem to be unfortunate to their face. You just don’t do it. The people who can do this without feeling guilty are simply not good people. I like to think I am a good person because being mean in certain situations actually makes me feel guilty. This is one of those situations, even though these sexually desperate imbeciles are bringing it upon themselves.

—

Dear Online Rejects Who Message Me Trying “2 Get Sum”:

I’m happily taken. If I weren’t, I’d be far more interested in a message I could actually read. This message would have to be intellectually stimulating. It could not include “a/s/l?”, numbers in the place of words, shortcut words, or anything displaying your psychological laziness and lack of respect for the English language. I’m sure one of the other 28 women you’ve messaged within the past hour will be interested. If not, keep trying. Eventually you’ll find the person you are looking for. (Why, oh why, are these people allowed to procreate?)

Never Yours,

- Calluna.

Crookers – No Security (feat. Kelis)

Crookers – No Security (feat. Kelis) (Tom Crew Remix) new

Britney Spears – 3 (Ben Walker Remix) new

Lady Gaga – Bad Romance (Bimbo Jones Remix) new

datA – Electric Fever (Acid Washed Remix) new

Christoph Musiol

Well, basically due to a decision to go to a mates with some other mates for a session I’ve now fucked my sleeping pattern and don’t at all feel a need to sleep at half 2. So instead I feel like winging about something.

Everytime it starts to get later and later and edge towards early hours, adverts begin to change. They’ll go from adverts for the next big film, or adverts for Asda, to… (Chavvy/Sexy voice needed) “Text FUN to 8541, and connect with sluts across the country”. Why?! Who’s actually doing this? Also, if there is in fact a market for people who take part in mindless activities like “Texting people in their area” at stupid hours in the morning, because if you do apparently there’s going to be someone around the corner who’s doing/wants the same thing, then why don’t they at least market these things a bit better. These adverts are literally the scummiest things on TV. They’re the TV equivalent of a public toilet or something… You’d prefer not to, but if you’re pissed or got nowhere else to go.. you have to. They hire in the worst most unattractive females to put on the most unconvincing show, pretending that they actually would bother to text this number. That’s how scummy it is! Not even they would text in! To be fair, the girls they use aren’t repulsive, they’re just all the type that you might find in an awkward situation round the back of a club, but think of the few girls that would aaactually use the service? In fact! I say it’s not repulsive.. I saw one not too long ago where it was advertising the options to text “Over 60s”, which cued a shot of a women who was pretty much my Gran just lay back on a sofa in just a fur jacket looking mentally insane . Aaaah and don’t even get my started on the backing music! And the way they pretend to text and then look at the camera with the most forced smile as though they’re at gunpoint. Also, how stupid is it that men might expect a “Like minded” girl to be “round the corner”, even though they only ever advertise towards men.. so why would women be texting in? I need to sleep.

Chromeo – Night By Night (Smalltown Djs Remix) new

Lady Gaga – Bad Romance (Hercules & Love Affair Remix) new

Mariah Carey – I Want To Know What Love Is (Chew Fu Remix) new

Greg Gorman

Victoria Beckham – Let Your Head Go

Album : Open Your Eyes

Year : 2003

Why do I always get sick at the most inopportune times? When I was in school, I’d always fall ill around exam time, and nowadays, I always get sick either on the weekends or on days I already have off from work. Spending a whole day curled up on the couch watching TV and eating chicken noodle soup would be more tolerable if I got to use up one of my sick days for once. The mind is willing, but the body feels like shit.

Eh, enough of my complaining, on to the new guys:

omegaman93555 profiles the omega male.

Mark Baachman dissects common lines that women use on him and writes a slut dictionary.

Dan states eloquently that men and women are equal but different.

sparks123 describes his journey into the world of game.

Also check out Feminist Critics and Renee’s LiveJournal.

And the rest of y’all:

Prime writes on liberal biorealism.

Chuck reports on how commitment causes a woman’s sex drive to drop.

Dave from Hawaii gets disgusted by fatties with FUPAs.

Novaseeker takes down the bogus idea that all of the major religions teach the same thing.

Pro-Male/Anti-Feminist Tech critiques models of Western decline and brags about how good he has it.

Roissy elucidates how to play the game when you get older.

Obsidian outlines the value of game and writes on the death of the American working class.

Whiskey analyzes the fall of Gossip Girl and Dollhouse and what it means for Hollywood.

Donald Pittenger discusses his issues with libertarianism.

Al Fin states that Detroit is an advance look at what Obama’s America will be like.

Alpha Dominance writes on the controlling and narcissistic nature of modern moms.

11minutes tells of the fall of the greatest seducer he ever knew.

Master Dogen pens a paean to beautiful women.

Anakin Niceguy criticizes evo-psych extremism.

Anoukange applies Jungian categories to men.

Alex Birch mocks the ludicrousness of anti-Americanism in Sweden.

Max looks back at his youth.

From Girl Game: LILGRL gives her recipe for pot roast and Aoefe compares dating to the stock market.

Hunter Huxley states that human nature is responsible for the doom of human civilizations.

Kimberly blames feminism for the inability of modern women to find love.

Khankrumthebulgar posts on how feminism encourages women to behave in life-endangering ways.

MarkyMark dissects an incredible Craigslist post from an incredibly deluded woman.

OneSTDV asks if we can halt the fall of the West and writes a guide to gym etiquette.

Eumaios relates his discovery of game.

Roosh rips into single women who intentionally have children.

Alkibiades gives his reasons for hating sorority rush week.

Aoefe tells the tale of her first love.

Hestia praises The Good Wife’s Guide.

Genius gives his idea for getting more Jews to marry.

Marquis realizes the ridiculousness of the unalienable right to vote.

Robert Stacy McCain defends Twitter narcissism.

Hugh MacIntyre pounds the last nail into the ADQ’s coffin.

Slumlord writes on the dilemma that dominant women face and notes the dearth of good men in the modern world.

Vera reminisces on the fall of the Berlin Wall.

Ross Jeffries blows the lid on seduction community scamsters. (Hat tip: Assanova.)

Guy White explains how Alexa works to his anti-Semitic detractors.

Richard Hoste smacks down Meghan McCain.

Ron Guhname states that abortion has a dysgenic effect on the American population.

Rod Lott lists five books with sexy covers.

Indomitable Thoughts asserts that a female-centric society is a litigious society.

Bryan Caplan gives his thoughts on the twentieth anniversary of the Berlin Wall’s fall.

Lew Rockwell asks why socialism is so popular around the world.

The Chronicle Review asks education experts whether too many people are going to college. (Hat tip: Denis Dutton.)

Agnostic identifies a proven way to empower women that runs counter to feminist claims.

Robin Hanson reports that women are evolving to be fatter and shorter.

Daniel Larison claims that the GOP will not make a comeback in 2010.

Silas Reinagel elaborates on how modern life has destroyed masculinity.

John Robb explains how globalization is changing the nature of loyalty.

Half Sigma debunks the idiocy of the phrase, “It takes a village to raise a child.”

David Goldman explains how the British government has declared Judaism to be racist.

Steve Sailer writes another column on Mad Men.

Tim Mohr reports on how the West hijacked the fall of the Berlin Wall for their own purposes.

Vox Day gets annoyed at women who whine when their men play video games.

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Mariah Carey – I Want To Know What Love Is

Mariah Carey – I Want To Know What Love Is (Moto Blanco Remix)

slwerner left this brilliant comment over at Seasons of Tumult and Discord:

““When girls sleep with multiple people on different occasions, she is labeled as a ’slut’ or ‘whore,’ but when guys hook up with multiple girls they’re seen as heroes to the male race,” said Rachel Sloane, a senior at University of North Carolina Chapel Hill.”

Okay,

Where are all these guy’s who supposedly make hero’s out of other men who happen to “score” a lot?

While I can honestly say “more power to ya” to a successfully promiscuous man, I certainly don’t regard him as a hero. And, I’ve never met any other men who do either.

So, let me just come right out and ask, “Do any of you guy’s idolize or make hero’s out of other men based on their success with women”? (I’m asking this seriously)

I suspect that the most we do is acknowledge another man’s ability to get women – because we realize that it actually means something – as opposed to effort a woman would have to go to in order to get men. But, I just don’t see any hero-worship going on.

What I personally suspect is that it is ONLY women who so idolize promiscuous men, and give them a heroic status. They, and they alone, are the ones to blame for this perceived double-standard. They’re just looking for a way to blame men for it by claiming men make hero’s out of male-sluts.

All that would have to happen to end the double-standard would be for women to start thinking of promiscuous men as a) probable carriers of STD’s (the science actually bears this one out) the way men do of promiscuous women; and b) as bad choices for long-term relationships (which, they are) – again, the same way men view promiscuous women.

If women could somehow bring themselves to devalue promiscuous men the same way men devalue promiscuous women, voilà, the double-standard would end.

But, as a practical matter we know that women are not going to stop longing after men with proven sexual track-records – no matter how good a sense that would make.

Which is why they seem to feel the need to make being a slut as admirable to a man as a man being a stud is to a woman.

But, just like women aren’t going to stop admiring studs, men are not going to start admiring sluts. And, there are damned good reasons not to. Men just seem to have better sense in this regard.

Logic alone would suggest that the better approach is the one typically taken by men. So, in the end, if women do not want to adopt the better logic, they just going to have to come to grips with that supposed double-standard.