It took a tenth of a second but then I was suddenly transported back to the rust colored shag carpet and dark paneled walls of my aunts living room where I heard the opening notes of that song for the first time.

I remember looking at my same aged cousin and having a pint sized epiphany.

Electric boots?

A mohair suit?

What the fuck kind of spectacularly dressed lunatic was this Benny? And better yet where could we get an outfit just like it.

This was the era of the LP on the turntable and hulking cars ridden with the convertible tops down. And while my older cousins were starting to build their album collections us little kids were still getting over the awesome cover photo on Kiss’s Dressed To Kill record.

Black suits, white clogs, face paint. What is not to love here?

To be fair and to give my Dad his due I was actually getting a good dose of musical education at home. We had The Beatles and Bob Dylan on heavy rotation and super cool Johnny Cash seemed to sneak in there at least once a day but here’s where I admit that Dylan’s Lay Lady Lay used to sound an AWFUL lot like LADY ELAINE to my small untrained ears. Anyone who knows me understands exactly how much I hate that trolley to the Land of Make Believe riding puppet madwoman so you can sort of sympathize with the tears and sobbing every time that one came on.

Man? Woman? Drunk? Puppet overlord? What the fuck am I?

Eventually my father lost the music war and my cousins collections swelled to include what appeared to be every album ever recorded but to this day I am ashamed to tell you that I am unable to stop singing any song from Fleetwood Mac’s Rumors until it’s run its course and I can quote any line off of the Eagles first release as if a higher power is compelling me to do so.

If you are ever at a party with me make sure to include Led Zeppelin’s Immigrant Song on the playlist so you can see my Nordic battle cry tear the place to shreds and then I can follow up with  a heartwarming rendition of Gold Dust Woman. It’s a vision to behold.

It’s the ’70s  man. They get their teeth in you and just keep shaking.