Sex and fishing are the only two things that guys come back from saying, “smell my finger.”

Really, I need you to sniff it for me. Why? Because, about two years ago, I completely lost my sense of smell. I have nasal polyps that are causing me all kinds of problems and this is one of the major by-products. 

This has turned out to be a bit of a mixed blessing. On the one hand, I can’t smell all of the bad things in the world like farts, pollution, men’s cologne, babies, etc. On the other hand, I am also missing out on the great smells like Thanksgiving dinner, candles, my wife’s hair, flowers and on and on. 

For most people, this would probably be a life altering ailment that permanently disabled them. Being ever the optimist, however, I am trying to figure out a way to utilize this new found skill. Turn this lemon into lemonade, if you will. 

So I am taking suggestions on how I might best utilize this new super power that is so rare. I don’t want to do the obvious like sewer work or be a gynecologist. No, I want to do something unique, practical and, above all else, incredibly profitable.    

Really, now that I think about it, anything remotely dealing with poop or the poop hole should be immediately eliminated. I just don’t see any upside there. I am open to other foul smells but they can’t be associated with things that are gross to look at. 

For instance, inspecting infected hoo-hoos would not work because the visual would be even more horrific than the smell. (Hence my refusal to be a gynecologist). I suppose I could inspect healthy hoo-hoos but I am not sure there is much of a market there.

Anyway, I am stumped. Please help me find a new path and let me use this gift that God has granted me. (Oh, and a big shout out to Jesus for giving me the polyps in the first place…greatly appreciated). 

Thanks for your help in this exciting, yet pitiful, search for greatness. TL

From Porninthevalley.com

Desi Foxx

Elli Foxx

Wednesday, March 4th, from 8pm to 10pm (PT), Elli and I will be on RudeTV’s “Smell My Finger” with Wankus. This is our second appearance on one of RudeTV’s shows and we’re looking forward to having some fun with Wankus. We’ve only met a couple of times and never really got to talk so we’ll see what we can learn about each other during 2 hours Check us out if you get the chance. We never know what we’ll talk about or what we’ll end up doing on these shows but we know we always have a great time!

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Smokie Flame

“Naughty Newbies” with Emma Cummings was up first. Emma read off a “your evil for doing porn” letter sent in by a bible thumping extremist and also played several popular internet videos featuring Harry Potter (of course) and Dr. Tran (Toy Store!). In between videos, Emma flashed her lovely ample breasts for the viewers.

“The Booby Prize” with Tony Bones, Kelly Divine and Victoria Norton came up next. Cash money prizes were given away and wacky news stories were read until, the first guest of the night, Smokie Flame was brought on to the show.

Smokie talked about the recent launch of her website, and the difficulty of getting a website started. A video was then shown, of a drunk Smokie Flame and her man, Bobby Flame at Porn Star Karaoke, with funnmy live reactions from Smokie herself.

The sexy Claudia Valentine was welcomed onto the show next, and quickly showed off her lovely body. Kelly Divine and Smoke Flame soon followed, with all three ladies stripped down to nothing but their panties. Tony Bones kept trying to get girls fully naked, until they had enough and decided to try to strip him naked. Unsuccessful, Claudia Valentine then gave a quick lap dance to Kelly.

Kelly Divine reported that she did anal scene four hours earlier in the day and showed the RudeTV cameras that she could still gape, even though the scene had long finished. The gape and the topless ladies brought the show to a close.

“Smell My Finger” with Wankus and the lovely Renee Perez opened the show, with several hot pictures from a recent Renee Perez photo shoot shown to the viewers. Wankus talked about everyone being sick off and on all week, including himself. The impending visit of former porn performer, Gauge was also discussed, with Wankus telling a few humorous stories from the past.

Addison Cain came on the show soon after. Addison’s last appearance on the Halloween edition of “Smell My Finger” was recapped, along with updates about her career. Katelyn the mysterious hot 8th grade teacher, whos face never can be shown on the air, came into the the studio next. The RudeTV viewers delighted in seeing Katelyn’s hot bod, as explanations were given about why her face couldn’t be shown (to protect her identity for her job).

Luther King was then welcomed to the studio. Luther did a very funny improve using a spinning dildo. Renee, Addison and Katelyn flashed the cameras their incredible bodies as well.

“Color Blind” with Tee Reel had special guest co-host, Tanner Mays with him for the night. Tee and Tanner got to know each other a bit before Tee Reel invited guest, Stephanie Richards to join them on the air. Soon, both Tanner and Stephanie showed off their lovely asses to the camera, to make the viewers drool.

Later in the show, adult industry writer and fetishist, Rebecca Anderson was brought onto the show. Rebecca spoke about her experiences as a writer and her love for the BDSM world. Soon the girls became frisky and fondled each other until the show came to an end.

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Syren De Mer

“Bottoms Up” with Jason Sechrest was up first for the day. Jason spoke about attending a party where famed director, Chi Chi La Rue was DJ’ing. Jason also spoke about waking up in his bed the next morning with no memory of the previous night. He suspected his drink may have been spiked. Pretty scary.

Gay, Bi-sexual and Straight film performer, Orion Cross was his guest for the night. Jason and Orion covered a variety of topics, including his film work, sexual history and his marriage to fellow gay performer, Luke Cross. Later in the show, Orion showed off his ass to the camera. He then decided to shove a dildo up his hole to sodomize himself, while Jason directed, to bring the show to a close.

“Baadmaster’s Dungeon” with Baadmaster and Satine Phoenix, who returned as co-host for one night only, was up next. Unfortunately, Satine was late due to traffic, so “Kreature” an attractive submissive was the co-host for the first hour of the show. BDSM lifestyle news was read and then rope bondage master, “Dark Phoenix” was introduced.

A body bag demo was done, while Satine Phoenix finally joined the show. Kreature lay happily in the body bag as Dark Phoenix bound it together with Rope. Satine professed her love for enclosed spaces as the demo moved forward. A rope bondage demo was then done, with examples of simple binds shown off to add spice to bedroom play. The show ended with discussions of vibrator torture and love for the Hitachi Magic Wand.

“Smell My Finger” with Wankus and Vanessa Leon started off with Vanessa, announcing she had a special gift for Wankus. The surprise gift was a well done music hip hop track, put together by one of Vanessa’s friends. Wankus was impressed and promised to use it in the future for RudeTV projects.

Syren De Mer was the first guest of the evening. During her interview, Syren spoke about the swinger lifestyle and he sexual adventures with a midget. Vanessa Leon seemed quite amazed by the stories and playfully jabbed with Wankus through the interview. Syren also showed off her tattoos and amazing ass for the camera.

Comedian Mike Dunphy was welcomed onto the show next. Mike discussed his career and behind the scenes at comedy clubs, along with the consequences of stealing other comedians jokes. The show closed out with clips shown of Mike Dunphy’s comedy and how he deals with hecklers in the crowd.

“Dirty Divas” with the legendary Ginger Lynn was the last show of the night. Ginger had a packed show featuring Kathy and Shoosh from Triangle Films along with porn performers, Dana DeArmond, Adrianna Nicole, Kristina Rose and Aiden Starr.

I hadn’t seen Aiden Starr or Dana DeArmond sense LA Erotica and Adrianna Nicole in about two years so, it was a pleasant surprise when the ladies walked in the studio door. Aiden has a sense of humor I really like, which always makes talking to her a lot of fun. Dana DeArmond and I have a strange history, as we both knew each other before getting in to the adult industry.

Anyway, it was a very wild show with Ginger and Dana playfully sparring with each other through out the show. Kathy and Shoosh talked about their committed relationship together and the shooting style used for Triangle Films. Ginger proceeded to “motor-boat” Aiden Starr’s beautiful breasts, then asked Kristina Rose to take over. Soon, Ginger produced several different types of pies. Aiden then proceeded to get fully naked and sit herself onto one of the waiting pies (lemon marang, I believe it was).

Ginger joined in as Adrianna Nicole helped smear another pie onto Ginger. Kristina Rose, Kathy and Shoosh looked on as Dana DeArmond and Adriana played with each others bodies. Aiden and Ginger kept themselves busy by continuing to smear pie on each other, then scissor they legs together and sensually kiss as the chaotic fun show drew to a close.

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Derek Hay and Nikki Jane

“Cavity Search” with Anita Blue and Chewy Chorizo was the very first show. Anita Blue was feeling under the weather but, perked up as the hour went by. Anita and Chewy spoke at length about the Adult Entertainment Expo. Chewy then talked about working with Tori Welles and other legendary porn stars, as Anita decided to get naked and use a Hitatchi magic wand to get herself off. As the show came to a close, Anita and Chewy both seemed to have more energy, then when they first started.

“Smell My Finger” was next with Wankus and guest co-host Emma Cummings. Wankus was surprised during the first segment, when cake was brought out in honor of his 40th birthday. Luther King also joined the show to give his well wishes. Wankus complained that he hadn’t been laid yet for his birthday but, hoped to have that corrected before his birthday ended.

Ben English aka Derek Hay, owner of LA Direct Models and rising porn starlet, Nikki Jane came onto the show next. Wankus and Derek spoke about Derek’s win at the AVN Awards for his work in Pirates 2 and his history as a performer in the business. Nikki Jane spoke about her origins and how get got into porn. She seemed a bit defensive at first, but loosened up as the show moved forward. Later, both Emma and Nikki delighted the RudeTV viewers by flashing their ample breasts.

420 comedian and all around good guy, Jeffrey Peterson was next up as the final guest of the show. Jeffrey spoke about his beliefs and use of marijuana as well as the pot smokers lifestyle. He also talked about his work on his 420 magazine, California Chronicle XXX. Amusing pot stories and situations were told as the show drew to a close.

“Rockin Her World” featuring Kayme Kai was the final show of the evening. Kayme spoke about finding a woman’s clitoris and various sexual positions to enhance clitoral stimulation. She even used our own RudeTV’s Lake as prop to demonstrate. Kayme then showed off toys used for clitoral orgasms and used one of the toy, making herself squirt twice to bring the show to an end.

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“Being a Man” with Dennis Neder and Lira Kellerman was up first for the day. I’m glad Lira came on board, as she brings a lot of personality to the show. Her wit and perspectives fits perfectly for the topics discussed every week. After a bit of banter, Sex In The News was read and followed up by a Sexual Trivia game. The topics of the day were, “Deciphering Womanize” and “How to Wing(man) Correctly”. Neder and Lira, finished the show by reading several viewers letters on various topics and giving their views.

“Smell My Finger” started with Wankus introducing his guest co-host for the night, Roxanne Hall. Both spoke about their time in Las Vegas for the Adult Entertainment Expo, while pictures were shown. Wankus also talked about his love for jacking off in the mirror as well, which Roxanne found a bit odd.

Jessica D’Vine was the first guest of the night and show ed off her new slimmed down figure. She looked great, wearing a red and black outfit. Soon both she and Roxanne were topless as Wankus interviewed Jessica to catch up on, what she had been doing since her last appearance. Popular male talent and AVN Award winner for “Best Couples Sex Scene”, Mr. Marcus came on for the second hour of the show. He spoke at length about his career in both adult and recent mainstream work with actor/comedian Jamie Kennedy. During his interview, both Jessica and Mr. Marcus fondled and teased each other.

The show came to a close with a incredibly depressing, “Porn Stars Who Died” video from The Pink Cross Foundation, in honor of Wankus’s upcoming “one year closer to death” (birth)day.

“Toyz 4 Twatz ” with Kayme Kai was the last show for the night. The toys for this week were bullet and egg shaped vibrators. Kayme showed off the various types of bullets and eggs that were available on the market, until it was time to demonstrate them on herself. During her demos, Kayme came several times and squirted twice, making an incredible pool of liquid all over the bed. Both the host and the fans had a good time during the show.

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Rane Revere

“Ink Addicts” hosted by Baadmaster, porn star Regan Reese and tattooer Vince Society was the first show of the day. Adult Entertainment Expo adventures were recapped by all three, including sex Regan had in Vegas and a BDSM party Baadmaster attended. Matt Zane was the guest for today’s show and announced a new content delivery website for ipods and iphones, that he has been working on. The site is due to launch in about a month. Matt spoke about preparing for the future direction of the adult industry now, rather then waiting to see where others take it.

“Whispers” with Emma Cummings was up next. Emma wore nothing but a button down RudeTV shirt to start the show. Soon, she got buck naked and pleasured herself with various vibrators. Emma got herself off multiple times with multiple callers, then showed off her incredible ass to close out the show.

“Smell My Finger” hosted by Wankus and the lovely Jessica Bangkok started off with recaps of the Adult Entertainment Expo, while Emma Cummings sat in to commentate. Wankus showed pictures from the expo and the red carpet of the 2009 AVN Awards, commenting on the state of various porn personalities from the show. Jessica spoke about her experiences signing at the expo and soon exposed her ample breasts for the camera.

Well known Male Perfomer Evan Stone came on next and talked about his “Best Actor” win at the 2009 AVN Awards. Evan showed off his quick wit through out the entire show, entertaining the hosts and viewers endlessly. He also agreed to have a penis molding done, live on the air. Jessica Bangkok showed why she is a true professional and helped Evan by stroking his “award winning” penis and keeping him turned on during the process.

“Ebony Nights” with Flexx and Rane Revere came on the air, with more recaps from this years Adult Entertainment Expo. Flexx told funny stories about his past experiences at AEE, while Rane talked about the convention.

“A! Entertainment” with Tony Batman and guest co-host, Kelly Skyline was the final show of the night. Hayden Night came on at the beginning of the show, as the guest while Batman and Kelly spoke about Batman’s lack of transportation. Youtube clips were shown of interviews Batman had done at recent parties and even more Adult Entertainment Expo talk was brought up. Both Kally and Hayden showed off their incredible bodies to the camera as the show ended.

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Kelly Skyline

“Bottoms Up” with Jason Sechrest was the first show of the day. Jason’s guest was the popular gay porn star, Blake Riley. Blake spoke about his past and getting into the adult business, as Jason grilled him on various questions. Blake also spoke about doing his first bisexual movie, including having sex with a woman for the first time. Turns out his first experience was with well known female performer, Shy Love. Jason and Blake also addressed the negative comments he received from his fans about doing a bisexual movie, calling him a sell out and “straight for pay”. To end the show, Blake Riley got fully naked and showed himself off to the camera.

“Baadmaster’s Dungeon” with Baadmaster was up next. Xandra was unable to make the show so, Baadmaster has a “All Dom Panel” night featuring Master Warlock and Master Eragon. Clips of various bondage scenes were shown, including spanking and wax play, while all everyone critiqued them. Warlock and Eragon took time to explain the differences in their domination techniques. Eragon is more of a sensual dom, where as Warlock is much more of a full protocol, 24/7 dom. Final thoughts were given as the show closed out.

“Smell My Finger” with Wankus started off with the introduction of his special guest co-host, Kelly Skyline. Wankus and Kelly started off the show talking about the pictures he had taken of Kelly, wearing the Miami Dolphins colors, over the weekend. Several clips of Kelly’s adult work were shown during the course of the show, including a hilarious but, disturbing clip from Jurrassiccock.com. Kelly Skyline’s dogs were also brought on the air, as both Kelly and Wankus talked about their love of animals. Toward the end of the show, Wankus and Kelly played 20 questions and told embarrassing stories about themselves.

“Dirty Divas” with Ginger Lynn came on for the last show of the night and featured Brittany O’ Connell as her guest. Brittany and Ginger spoke about starting out the business as well as their reputations for having sex off camera on sets. Later, “Twat Tuesday” was started by Ginger as she and Brittany played games with each others vagina’s. “Dare the Diva” was played next as Ginger Lynn had to guess details about Brittany O’ Connell and vise verse up to the end of the show.

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Hayden Night

“Ink Addicts” with Baadmaster and Regan Reese was up first. Today was a tribute to Matt Zane’s “Tattooed & Tight” movie series. Scenes were played while Baadmaster and Regan critiqued both the tattoos and the sex.

“Whispers” was hosted by Kayme Kai this week. Dressed as school girl, Kayme teased and delighted the viewers. Getting them off while they were on the phone.

“Smell My Finger” with Wankus and Jessica Bangkok came on next. Wankus talked about his Miami Dolphins being knocked out of the playoffs and showed pictures from this past weekend of watching Nicki Hunter ride horses. Kelly Skyline was the guest for the night as Wankus showed off hot pictures he had taken of Kelly, wearing the Miami Dolphins colors.

Luther King also stopped by, as Jessica Bangkok talked about going to the Adult Entertainment Expo in Vegas, later this week. Jessica then put on a fashion show with the various outfits she was taking with her to bring the show to a close.

“Ebony Nights” with Flexx and new co-host Rane Revere was up, with Wankus and Luther King doing a very funny improve intro for the show. Rane Revere made an great first impression as the new co-host, by constantly flashing her body for the viewers. More Adult Entertainment Expo talk was done, as well as the positives and negatives of anal gaping in porn scenes.

“A! Entertainment” with Tony Batman and guest co-host, Kelly Skyline was the final show of the night. Hayden Night came on at the beginning of the show, as the guest while Batman and Kelly spoke about Batman’s lack of transportation. Youtube clips were shown of interviews Batman had done at recent parties and even more Adult Entertainment Expo talk was brought up. Both Kally and Hayden showed off their incredible bodies to the camera as the show ended.

Shay Lynn

Shay Lynn has had a good year, with both ups and downs. Most of them good, but a few that have been life threatening. Shay Lynn recently got out of the hospital after receiving 1st and 2nd degree burns from a fire accident that occurred in November while on her dance tour.

Shay Lynn was performing her infamous fire trick on stage, a portion she has now deleted from her act.

“It was a very unfortunate accident, but I’m doing a lot better now, and I’ll be starting my 2009 dance tour after Vegas in mid January. I’m very thankful for all the well wishes from everyone in the industry, but I’m fine, I look good and feel good” stated Shay Lynn “I’ll be in Vegas at the AVN AEE events this week and hope to see you all” added Shay Lynn.

On the upside, Shay Lynn has had a real successful 2008.

In November of 2008, Shay Lynn appeared on an episode of the Tyra Banks Show, and also participated in a Demolition Derby, and was probably one of the first adult actresses to do so.

Shay Lynn, was also a co host on “Smell My Finger” the weekly program hosted by Wankus on; www.rudetv.com . Shay Lynn also taped a new episode for “Jerry Springer Uncensored”, which aires in February 2009.

To top it off, Shay Lynn won 3rd place in the Spearmint Rhino “Entertainer of the Year” Contest in Torrance, California, and Shay Lynn also took home the “Best Feature Newcomer Dancer of The Year” title at the 2008 Exotic Dancers Awards in Vegas.

Add to that, Shay Lynn’s newly revamped website which can be seen at www.shaylynnxxx.com Visitors to the site can see her current dance tour schedule there as well.

We all wish Shay Lynn the best for 2009, and continued success.

About Shay Lynn

Shay Lynn who hails originally from Michigan, has appeared in several films including; “The Shay and Tally Movie” for Bob Marshall Photography, “Nudes A Poppin’” for Dream Girls, “Girl Fun 41” for Dream Girls, “Rubber Sensations” for Gothic Media, and “Lesbian Rendezvous” for Gothic Media. Shay Lynn also recently shot a hot and sexy “girl/girl/girl” scene for IC Porn.

Shay Lynn is represented by L.A. Direct Models: www.ladirectmodels.com

To arrange an interview with Shay Lynn, please contact James at the Galaxy Publicity office for more information; 310 652 0770 galaxypub@aol.com

Tori Black

New pictures of Tori Black, Brooke Belle, Monica Foster and other guests on rudetv can be seen in Powder’s blog at powderxxx.wordpress.com