Some people hear voices, thankfully I’m not one of them. Instead I see faces. Is this any better? I think it is, because they kind of make me laugh. To illustrate the point on this blog I’ve posted my t.v. remote as I see him. He’s kind of a cross between a Monk with Fu Manchu and a happy Smurf with the droopy cap. I know I’m weird, I accepted this fact long, long ago. Things that normal people laugh at don’t do anything for me. For instance, most sitcoms with the canned laughs and constant one liners bore me to death, but a Fu Manchu Smurf on the back of my t.v. remote I find humor in. I always kind of wonder what he’s so happy about though.

Coworker 8: “Hey, you!”

Me: “Me?”

Coworker 8: “Yeah, you! Get over here!”

Me: “Did you just call me a Smurf?”

Coworker 8: “Yeah, that’s right?”

Me: “I’m not blue!”

Coworker 8: “Well, you’re damn short enough to be a Smurf!”

Me: “That’s not true! Smurfs are three apples high. That’s about [measures with hands] this tall.”

Coworker 8: “Who said that?! How do you know that?! Where are you getting your information?!”

Me: “My childhood!”

Schleich Smurfette’s Mushroom Cottage and Smurfs Cottage Red Smurf Set Reviews

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Schleich Smurfette’s Mushroom Cottage and Smurfs Cottage Red Smurf Set Features

• Smurfs Accessory Smurfette Cottage
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Merry X-Mas to you all!

This is a blog about things to think about.
Or in anotherway to say … my tribute to eternity.

Keep your eyes open and see the world with the unblurred mind of a child!

You can read local arts reviews at Eric Martin’s Associated Content page, as well as articles on various subjects such as his theories on the Smurf female population, global luke-warming (apathy), and other stuff.

On a nice sunny day in Smurf Village Investigator Smurf came running up to Papa Smurf yelling: “Papa Smurf! Papa Smurf!”
“What is it Investigator Smurf?” Papa Smuf said.
“Body Smurf has been smurffed!”
Papa Smurf paused then asked: “What?” with a confused look on his face
“Some one smurffed him them smurffed out his smurf, smurf and smurf!”
“I have no-” Before Papa Smurf could finish Smurfette ran to Papa Smurf crying.
“Papa Smurf! Papa Smurf! I’ve been smurfed!” Smurfette said sobbing.
“What?” Papa Smurf asked with a confused look on his face
“He pushed me to the ground then pulled off my smuffies and smurffed me over and over again!”
“I don’t under-”
“Your dress!” Investigator Smurf interrupted. “Its covered in smurf! The smurfest must have been the smurf who smurfed Body Smurf!”
“Body smurf has been smurfed!”
“Now hold on!” Papa smurf yelled. “I have no smurfing mother smurfing clue what ether of you are saying!”
“Papa Smurf! There is no need for such language!”
Meanwhile in an unnoticed house in Smurf Village. Anonymous Smirf sat eating a blue liver and onions.
Anonymous Smurf laughed then said: “After this I’m going get some from that cute little Smurfette again” then took a bite of the blue liver.
© 2009 all rights reserved

     The biggest sci-fi movie in a long time is James Cameron’s Avatar, the epic story of one man’s realization of the truth behind Earth’s interest in a far off moon called Pandora and his encounters with the beings that live on Pandora.  Now, when I first heard of this movie, all that I knew was that it was preventing the upcoming Avatar: The Last Airbender movie from actually being called by its rightful name.  I wasn’t too happy about that.  Then I saw how cool Avatar looked, and how dopey the Last Airbender looked with white people pretending to be Asian, and I switched around my thinking.  The plot of the movie is that a marine named Jake Sully who recently lost the use of his legs in battle decides to go off to Pandora to participate in scientific research, mostly due to the fact that his recently deceased twin brother was involved.  The research involves the use of Avatars, beings made up of DNA from the local Na’vi people of Pandora and the researchers, who transfer their minds into those of their Avatars to interact with the Na’vi.  Personally, I find the Avatars themselves to be a tad unethical, what with the growing of a body and (I assume) hollowing out of its mind and consciousness to allow for someone else to take it over.  Anyway, although he at first joins the researchers with orders from the officer in charge of the defense of the Earth outposts, Colonel Miles Quaritch, to provide intel on the Na’vi for a potential attack, he falls in love with one of the Na’vi, Neytiri, and becomes accepted into their culture.  As such, when conflict inevitably stirs due to resentment and human greed, Sully has to pick his native or adopted world.

     Now, if this plot seems familiar, it should.  The idea of “going native” is one that has been discussed in many stories, including Heart of Darkness and Apocalypse Now, and the evils of industrialism and hostility towards natives is likewise a popular topic.  Plus, there’s falling in love with a woman with whom there is mutual antagonism at the beginning, the beauty, purity, and goodness of shamanstic, natural cultural traditions, the evil of gung-ho military people, etc.  I could go on, but you get the point.  This is a very clichéd plot.  And it does not even attempt to deal with any of the concepts it introduces in any sort of nuanced way.  Aside from Michelle Rodriguez’s typecast character of Trudy Chacon, all of the military people are evil.  And the locals are just so good, because they’re in touch with nature, unlike us polluting, ignorant humans.  So if you came to this movie expecting to be intellectually stimulated due to complex, thought-provoking concepts and themes, you came to the wrong movie.

     And yet I enjoyed it immensely.  Why?  For one, it is possibly the most gorgeous movie I’ve ever seen.  Utilizing top-of-the-line graphics, Cameron’s team of techies constructed essentially an entire world, one which is so wholly engrossing that you can’t believe it’s fake.  The various animals and plants of Pandora are boggling, particularly the ikran, the large, pteradon-like creatures that the Na’vi ride upon.  Seeing the Na’vi ride on the ikran through the skies is amazing.  And the Na’vi themselves, made up of a combination of motion-capture technology and CGI, look shockingly realistic.  One of the biggest concerns I had was that looking at humans and Na’vi together would be jarring, since the Na’vi might look like giant smurfs or something.  Instead, they look absolutely awesome.  And I mean that in terms of both definitions of the word.  It’s such a wholly realized world in terms of looks and culture that you can’t help but love it.

     Then, the plot may be rather trite, but it’s not bad enough that you can’t stand it.  You do feel a lot for the main characters, especially Neytiri, whose actress Zoe Saldana (Star Trek’s Uhuru) does the best performance of the entire movie.  And when you have Sigourney Weaver as one of the main supporting cast members, Dr. Grace Augustine, that’s a big deal.  Of course, Sigourney Weaver did an amazing job as well.  The other cast members’ performance shine a bit less.  Sam Worthington was good as Jake Sully, but he wasn’t anything truly amazing.  It would have been nice to see more of the main character’s back story so we understood him better as well.  And it would have been nice to flesh out the villains a bit better to understand why they were the way they were.  However, again, it’s a fun enough story that you can overlook these story problems.  The music is also pretty nice, if nothing revolutionary.  So all-in-all, it’s a great time with some of the best visuals you’ll ever see.  So long as you don’t spend too much time scrutinizing the plot for being rather derivative, you’ll enjoy yourself immensely.

Story: 7.2      Cinematography/Graphics: 10      Soundtrack: 8.5      Acting: 8.8      Overall: 8.8

I have continued to brainstorm means by which I can attract the attention of Tina Fey and NPH.  While I continue in this successless endeavor, I have honed my skills as a writer by watching hours and hours of television and cinema.  On Friday, I joined legions of other moviegoers in watching “Avatar,” the movie about blue people.  And for my two readers—don’t worry, I will provide fair warning as to any spoilers in this post.

To be perfectly frank, I did not want to see Avatar.  The preview did not adequately inspire me to want to spend hard-earned cash to sit in a cramped movie theater, attempting to watch the film while holding my pee (and cursing myself for drinking that last Diet Coke), and trying desperately not to curse at the idiots who insist on talking on the phone or texting a friend (who often happens to be sitting right next to that wretched and rude individual).  How exciting could a movie about blue people be?  As a child, I had a voracious appetite for all things Smurfs, at one point deciding that I would become Mrs. Handy Smurf.  Perhaps the movie is like the Smurfs?  Lots of blue people, with a single blue female who, by necessity, is the town whore?  Or perhaps the color of the indigenous people in Avatar is more symbolic, reflecting some sort of underlying theme or meaning behind a film that otherwise superficially appears to be the consequence of providing $230 million in expendable cash to a boy who likes special effects?  In any event, suffice it to say that I was not expecting to enjoy this film.  Indeed, I was expecting to leave this film feeling like I had just earned enough goodwill to force the hubby to attend the next feature film based on a novel by Nicholas Sparks.

Alas—and here come the spoilers—I LOVED this movie.  Yes, folks, I love the Na’vi.  The film contained just the right mix of conflict, fantasy, and romance to make me, an originally skeptical participant, into a real believer.  I like to think that the film itself is a strange mash-up of “The Last Samurai,” “The Little Mermaid,” and “The Smurfs.”  You’ll understand what I mean if you watch the film.  Negatives of the film include some horribly-written one-liners—likely a reflection of how Cameron views military personnel as individuals who are forced to shed humanity in favor of barbarousness; and the casting of Giovanni Ribisi, whose cheeks are just a little too pinchable for a character who the viewer is supposed to despise.  Additionally, the climactic fight scene to the death lasts just a bit too long, with GI Joe refusing to just fall over and die, making the film a bit Michael Bay-esque.

After watching this film in 2D format, I now must return to the theater to watch the 3D IMAX spectacle.  Perhaps, in honor of the film, I will paint myself blue, sprout a tail, and grow a magical ponytail that will enable me to control mythical aerial creatures.  One can only dream.

Discover me, Tina Fey & NPH!

Just for shits and giggles, here’s a picture of a female Na’vi with a sexy Smurf.  I’m growling right now.

Image Link

Un filmulet care te bine dispune )

So as promised, my TM World Record on Smurfylator.

Fun times. I’m a nerd.

Smurf's don't have shit on this blue guy.

If you’ve been living under a rock the size of Mexico for the last three months, you might not have heard about this little indie film called Avatar. In a nutshell, Marines land on alien planet, blue aliens don’t like them, one marine becomes part of alien tribe and sides with them in big fight. The best part? It’s fucking awesome.

Acting: Surprisingly good performances out of leads Sam Worthington and Zoe Saldana, they provide great chemistry with their characters. Sigourney Weaver plays a fairly big role, and she’s been around the block with aliens a few times already so she handles herself well. The minor actors are cast in a good light, with some character development that solidifies their presence. Michelle Rodriguez, the ultimate latina no-rules bitch has a supporting role, but I’ll leave my hate for that actress in my own mind for now; she did well.

Special Effects/Sound: It’s like nothing you’ve ever seen before. It is the most realistic, in-depth alien world ever put on screen. Description does not do it justice. It’s phenomenal.

Storyline: The plot is fairly basic; it’s nothing really new. What struck me was the addition of very unique details into the storyline, like the connection the Na’vi aliens have with their planet, and the bonding with other creatures abilities. It’s pretty fascinating how James Cameron decided all that would play out, and it works very effectively.

X-Factor- 3D. It made an immensely immersible environment that much better. The leaves of exotic plants jutting out, flying monsters of reptiles swooping in; pay the extra cash to see it in 3D.

Overall Score: 4/4. It’s not a movie that changes the way you think, rather it’s a movie which opens up endless possibilities for a future of incredibly realistic adventures. See it.

Every time I see more hype for James Cameron’s new sci-fi extravaganza, somehow, this is what I imagine:

Smurfs in SPAAAAAAAACE!

I have no idea why the Carnival of the Godless fizzled. The last one at the start of November was very short, and then there has been nothing. Alas.

So here are some of my favourite godless and less-gods-the better-posts from folks on my blogroll over the last little while!

Destination 360

moar funny pictures

~~~~~~~~~

One Minion’s Opinion reminisces about a favourite childhood show, a bit of sentimentality brought about by ChristWire’s very rational, serious and not at all satirical essay on the fact that God hates the homo-Smurfs (and so should you), and there was only one lady Smurf.

Oh, but Christwire isn’t actually freaking out about homosexual smurfs. They’re getting their freak on about how the sultry Smurfette is the only chick in a land of men. (Sic throughout – FYI: homonyms only sound homosexual, dear deer reed readers…)

My dear White Christian American friends, I am hear [sic - here] today to alert the God-fearing American public of yet another subversive attempt of the homo-infested Hollywood to further promote the homo-gay agenda. Homowood is resurrecting this 1980`s television series that was riddled with homogay undertones and, just as horrible, was targeted at none other than CHILDREN!

Methinks Minion became a Poe*-Smurf, but she did discover that there has been talk of  a Smurf movie out in 2011.

I never could stand those little blue buggers (and buggerette).

Apocalypse Smurfs. See, they missed the Rapture.

* Poe’s Law: “Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won’t mistake for the real thing.”

~~~~~~~~~

Michael Fridman is A Nadder, a great godless site, and he is a very good Bible Blogger too. He has blogged his way right through Job, and more recently has turned his attention to 1 Samuel with a little post called A Real Biblical Marriage (1 Samuel 1).

Now that I’ve finished blogging through the entire book of Job, time to start another book of the Bible. Samuel is the next logical choice — it’s my favourite book because it is most like a novel. There’s a definite, coherent plot, it’s structured quite well and rather than copious amounts of law or poetic rambling we are treated to a true masterpiece of narrative fiction.

The Brick Testament. Scandinavian Theology at its best!

However YHWH is a petty tribal god and can be bought with gifts. In her pain, Hannah makes a vow that if she gets pregnant with a male child (otherwise what’s the point?!) she’ll dedicate the son to YHWH and make sure he never cuts his hair (ie. she’ll make him a Nazirite according to the laws in Numbers 6). This sounds good to the good God, since he will now get to keep the boy for life.

I don’t know how many other bibliobloggers have him on their blogrolls, but he is very perceptive and entertaining. Here is the link to his Blogging the Bible series.

~~~~~~~~~

From Wikimedia

Bay of Fundie has a great continuing series describing his madcap adventure is stupid-land attending a “Darwin was wrong” seminar.

Uncyclopedia

Here is Part Five!

If you’re going to lie, lie big! “[S]cience is debunking every aspect of Darwin’s hypothesis[!]”

That’s what’s great about living in a fantasy world. You can wave your hands and all of your problems go away. Evolution: *Poof!* It’s gone. Atheists: *Poof!* They’re gone. The Establishment Clause: *Poof!* It’s gone.

Meanwhile, back on Earth, evolution is stronger than ever, there are more atheists than ever, and the Separation Clause… Umm… It’s actually looking a little faint. Damn!! Their magic really does work! Quick! Somebody nominate some Supreme Court justices!

The Sensuous Curmudeon turns the heat up on the Discoveroids of the Discovery Institution for their pissant take on “Climategate”.

It began here: Thrilled About ClimateGate, but the Discoveroids couldn’t control themselves. Matters swiftly escalated to this: The Mask Falls Away. (Hey, that one post got almost 9,000 hits so far.) That’s where we identified the “vindication of all kooks” doctrine — which holds that if the legitimate views of global warming skeptics had been wrongly suppressed, then all science dissent has been similarly mistreated, and therefore the science-denial of creationism is now respectable.

~~~~~~~~~

The Godless Girl goes all Mark Twainian in Lies, Damn Lies and Lunatics Part 2, not talking healing claims on faith.

Click here to watch both clips side-by-side.

In clip 1 Bentley speaks of a woman whose legs get beaten like a baseball bat on the stage. In clip 2 he’s telling the same story (you can hear the similar lead-in about “crippled people” and “not one”) but this time it’s a small boy whose legs God says to beat on the stage. So which is it, a male or female? I believe these tall tales are fabricated for theatrics and to give the audience a sense of awe and to gain trust before they step up to be healed. Hardly a  trustworthy man of God!

~~~~~~~~~

The Tangled Up in Blue Guy has finally seen the light and is now telling atheists to “Stop it” and just go back to being retend believers so we don’t cause offence (or get sarcastic).

It is time for atheists to leave well enough alone.  We’ve had our say, we’ve had our moment in the sun and now it is time to go back to being nice and quiet and let the Christians guard over us, so that we can all live and let live and no one will ever talk about the ways that religion rules our lives unfairly again.

To all Christians I apologize for being so uppity. I promise to be good.  My hat is in my hand, and excuse me while I go to the back of the bus and get off at my stop and hope that none of you are dishonored again by having to look at me.

~~~~~~~~~

Good Grief! The Unrepentant Old Hippy is unconvinced that the timing of Obama’s last T.V. special, which pre-empted the airing of Charlie Brown’s Christmas special was a Muslim plot. Silly girl.

Russell Wiseman, mayor(!) of Arlington, Tennessee, claimed that Obama’s speech on Afghanistan this week was deliberately timed to block the airing of “A Charlie Brown Christmas”…. because he’s a Muslim. No, I’m not kidding:

The mayor of a suburban Memphis city accused President Barack Obama of deliberately timing his speech about the war in Afghanistan this week to block the airing of the “Peanuts” Christmas television special.

According to The Commercial Appeal, Arlington Mayor Russell Wiseman posted the statements on his Facebook page and said the president is Muslim.

Blag Hag tackles Tim Tebow’s Well versed and video’s face. She writes:

This isn’t about censoring Christians so that they can never talk about their faith. There is a time and place for such discussions, and representing a public university in college football is not it. This is about illustrating that you’re rewarded for expressing your Christianity, but everyone who disagrees better keep it to themselves. Christians are a privileged group, and crying “Oppression!” as loudly as they can doesn’t change the facts.

~~~~~~~

Greta Christina is one of the best godless bloggers around. She wonders what a truly metaphorical religion would be like

I was debating the other day with a believer who was getting bent out of shape about how religion was just a story people found comforting. People didn’t have to believe religion was literally true for it to make a difference in their lives, he insisted. So why was I being so intolerant and mean and trying to take it away? And it suddenly struck me:

The version of religion he’s talking about?

It’s Trekkies.

Anyway, that’s my little Carnival of Godlessness. Hope you liked it. So, lets have some music!

I’ll finally see what all of this “Obama hype” is about.

Obama Ecstasy pills hit the streets
Article: WTSP

PALMVIEW, Texas – President Barack Obama’s approval rating may be hovering in the 50 percent range, but that doesn’t mean America’s Commander-in-Chief isn’t catching on with new constituents.

There is now a line of Ecstasy pills made in the image of the 44th president of the United States, according to Texas police who have snatched a batch off the streets.

Ecstasy is known for a sense of elation, diminished feelings of fear and anxiety, and ability to induce a sense of intimacy with others.

Uh, sounds like every Obamatron I’ve EVER come across. New constituents my ass. You’d HAVE to be fucked up on SOME kind of drug to be dumb enough to cast a vote for a modern day Stalin. Really.

Perhaps a good Election Day strategy to get out the vote?

A stash of the brightly colored tablets was found Monday during a south Texas traffic stop.

Police in Palmview detained a driver after finding black tar heroin, cocaine, marijuana and several Ecstasy pills in the back of his car.

Hey Obama, you might want to contact this guy. You still like cocaine, right?

The drugs look like a “vitamin for kids,” police spokesman Lenny Sanchez said.

Police say that other Ecstasy pills they found were made to look like the cartoon characters Homer Simpson and the Smurfs.

The 22-year-old driver is expected to face felony drug possession counts.

Palmview is near the border with Mexico.

No word on the driver’s political affiliation.

YOU MEAN… THERE’S DRUG ACTIVITIES GOING ON AT THE MEXICAN BORDER?! Get right the fuck out of town.

Altfel spus Ștrumfii. Cum pana mea să fii ștrumf? Homo sapiens ștrumfus? Ce invenție dracească și omuleții aștia mici albaștri…care ce faaac?? Se adună pe la unu dintre ei pe acasă și mănâncă din pereți. Ei, Ștrumfii, locuiesc în ciuperci, pe undeva între Amsterdam și Rotterdam, într o padure magică, și la fiecare parti de ăsta iși cam iau același efect..Ciudat efect! Incep să vadă un nebun îmbracat în capot negru care vrea să i mănânce. FUUGII BĂĂĂ CĂ TEE MĂNÂNC!! Parcă ar fi de la grădiniță. La ce să te aștepți de la niște Ștrumfii.. Apropo de capot, niciodată n am fost de acord cu existența cuvântului astuia, nici măcar dacă era capod cu D. Ce cuvânt!! Gizăs!! Dar subiectul asta e un viitor post, cuvinte ampulea rau.

Revin la omu în capoT negru, Gargamel îl striga. Cică era un vrăjitor rău, dar altceva afară de prins Ștrumfi în capcană și supă de Ștrumfi nu făcea. Mă rog. E un idiot. Oricum, nici nu exista, ptr ca Ștrumfii ăia mancau din casele de ciuperci și începeau să aibă același Vis, cam repetitiv el. Altceva afară de Gargamel nu vedeau. Ce oameni înguști la minte, cum pana mea,ai casa din ciupercă și tu nu știi atlceva afară de Gargamel?!! E strigător la cer! (CEERULLEEE!!!!!..ce pana mea faci cerule? bine zici? și io.la o bere). Așa. Și vedeau oamenii pe Gargamel ăsta, care nu exista de fapt, și venea și îi lega și îi băga în colivii, da de fapt nu existau nici funii la mainile lor, nici ziduri de metal în jurul lor. Da ei credeau atat de tare ca nici nu încercau să-și miște mâinile, le țineau lipite că nu le “permitea” sfoara lu’ Gargamel. A dracu sfoară. Cel mai tare era când își imaginau ei că Gargamel îi prinde și îi ridica în mână, aia da stare de ascensiune. uuuuuuu!!!

În fine, partea tristă e ca mi au trebuit mulți ani să înțeleg desenele. Le vedeam de mic copil și abia  la 20 de ani și o toamnă îmi dau seama de adâncimea subiectului de om Ștrumf, acest homo sapiens Ștrumfus al societății contemporane. Se contureză în personajul lui Gargamel teama și inabilitatea ta (consumatorul de rand) de a te elibera în momente de parti-uri date în casuțe magice. Așadar, fi liber frate, durere în coate și coaie! Baga MARE!

ps: ideea e mai largă da’ mi lene mare, las pe maine ce pot face azi că..sunt verzi! vezi?
ps2: e mai bine să traiești la capăt de floare decât în sat cu ștrumfii

Another original by the Jambox Scribe….

I heard something very interesting today. Has anyone ever been to a dinner party where all the guests got party favors on their way out?

(FYI…Images after jump NSFW)

How bout this one, what if that gift bag contained candy and pot?

I know I want to go to that dinner party!

It actually makes dinner parties sound appealing.  Don’t get me wrong a dinner party can be fun and Jambox definitely attends such events, usually not by choice but I have enjoyed a few.

I just think everyone should know that this practice exists and Jambox will officially endorse any such dinner parties.

So to you all who like to throw evening shindigs with meal service, please take a tip from Jambox, give gift baskets and make them interesting and unique.

Some suggestions:

Pot,

condoms,

nips, 8 balls,

magic mushrooms, sex toys, gift certificates to the Hustler Club,

special brownies,

escort credits

and anything in the four food groups of candy,

candy corns, candy canes or syrup.

Oh and Ms. Free Hugs, Carmen, DDDairy Monroe or pretty much any of the ladies rolling through the YAKWII spot.

On Friday there were Dinosaurs in Cleveland!

No not that—thankfully. Wow that show was so damn bad. God I hated that baby. It made me want to build a time machine or (buy a DeLorean) so I could go back in time and punch baby Dinosaurs in the face. Anydooozle….Back to the Dinosaurs at the Grog Shop okay technically it was Dinosaur Jr. You know these guys:

Errr actually these guys:

A slightly older version, but they sort of prove the fine wine theory. That’s right in my vague, way off the beaten path way I’m saying that Friday the missus and I went to the Dinosaur Jr. show. It had been a long time coming—In more ways than one. Dinosaur Jr. was one of my fav bands as a ute (OH snap a My Cousin Vinny reference!), and a clear inspiration to Kurt and Nirvana. I of course like too many bands never got to see them. Then they disbanded in 97. What is this a history lesson in Dinosaur Jr.? Screw that go do your own leg work! It’s called Google people! We bought the tickets for the show like 6 years ago (more like June or so) but it seemed to take forever to arrive. So the big night approaches and how do we prepare for it? Well none other than the Rock mantra of sex and drugs! Yeah that’s right the wife and I got home from work and took a nap! Now that’s a swerve! Could I use anymore exclamation points? We slept for about two hours and then headed over to the show. The place was packed with a unique mixture of cool 40 year olds, teens and the douche kind of 30-40 year olds (The “I was at their first show man” types.) We survived the wannabe Dresden Dolls band that opened for them—who were a lot better (read as not as sucky) than their MySpace page led us to believe. As the band took the stage what happened? A herd of mutant giraffes swooped in front of us. Fuckers. I mean we are smurfs here and from where they were there was no real difference of sliding in front of us on the d-low. I’m pretty sure they were just 12 year olds on steroids! Here are the results of part of the show being behind these urban Giraffes. You know the hold the camera high over ya head and wave it like you just don’t care and snap away?

Then we were invited in front of some cool people (and fellow smurf people) Side note: God damn you Microsoft Word acknowledge Smurf is a fucking word!

Anydiddle. This is when the shit hit the fan and got fun. Nearing the end of the 2 hour show the moshing began. Nothing is lamer than old farts and young idiots slamming into each other. So as this got out of control (when is it in control) my wife decided to police it. You know my tiny barely 5’2 wife? Then the smurfettes that were alongside of us were inspired by her spunk and decided to chip in. First they just pushed the idiots away but this of course made the idiots think they were playing along. Enter the kidney punching. There really is nothing as hilarious as three short girls punching giants in the kidneys, backs, and necks. It was sort of hot too.

A crude recreation of the event: