Today, life is snap shots. Precise. Isolated. Freeze. Framed.

So.

The dead crow on the curb, will never fly again. Cawless.  It lays, disregarded – if indeed ‘it’ can be said to be ‘it’;
no longer sensing weather warnings.

In a book store, I browse, I buy. Two books. Taking Pictures by Anne Enright and Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger. I speak to the shop woman. I even smile. Two minutes. Before fragility. So much is obscured.

So.

On the way out the door, free postcards. I love these. My daughter was in the habit of picking
[paper bouquets] and bringing them home. For me.
Before. Before.

I order one skinny latte. I sit. Outside.
My turn on the curb.

And the sky. I wait for my husband, watching his storm brew. The clouds are slap marks against the sky’s face.
Purple welts.
So,

Cup, warm in my hand; Like hope.
Like nothing like before,
I cry.

Like so.

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j.m.kleinberger

alamaAaakk…I was like wHAT the f**k !!!
tuh khan gw bilang juga apa???
masih mau alasan??

dibilang egois..hmm..buat orang lain/pengendara yang lain bisa dibilang egois karena membahayakan.
dibilang egois..hmm..ngga juga dia khan mikirin keluarganya juga..

Bukan gw yang plin-plan bro, but this is the fact..what are you gonna do about this buddy?
Pusing khan loe..
Sama gw juga..
saran gw..awas ketangkep John Pantau mas..wkwkw.
kata si mas,”halah.., siapa sih jon panot..eh jon panto, yg penting gw kerja”.
Capppee deyy…One more time a question show up in my head,who is responsible for this s**t huh..!!

Setelah melewati hari yang panjang di kampus dengan segala kepadatan aktivitas, ternyata perjalanan saya terhambat karena banjir yang melanda jalan pulang saya, sebenarnya ada jalan lain namun saya tidak mengira kalau ternyata hujan yang hanya rintik-rintik sewaktu dikampus berbeda dengan hujan yang ada dijalanan saya pulang. Sempat merasa sebal, suntuk dan kawatir, jangan2 banjirnya dalem banget.

Sori cuma segini skrinsut yang bisa gw ambil,

Dengan segala keberanian ya elah lewtin banjir doang pake berani2 yak..hehe, akhirnya gw terabas aja deh tuh banjir, karena sebenarnya gw pernah ngalamin dan menerabas banjir yang lebih oarah lagi yaitu bulan febuari 2008 yang lalu, jadi mau banjir sebatas apapun yah gw terabas aja, untung masih kuat tuh mobil gw.Hehe, emang Avanza You’ll think you can deh.

halahh..halahh..halahh..
yang ini SPEECHLESS dah gw,
udah cape hati ngebahasnya..
Cuuiihh…

Markham Fair

The floor of the kitchen was an earth-mustard linoleum that was slightly sticky on the soles of our bare feet. There was a Formica table with a circle of chairs around it and the table was always covered in half-empty mason jars and half-full coffee mugs. Nearer the window was a card table holding up a coffee-maker and a pineapple. The window had bars over it, and never let the sun in right– it blended the light with the air so that the dust was radiating. There was a pistachio colored tea kettle on the left, rear burner of the stove; one of the old kettles that whistles murder when the water is done.
///
The living room was more of a hallway choked by a sofa and a half dozen bikes in various states of assemblage. After you walked through the tight-rope of walking space there was a bookshelf: old cook books with the tea-stained leaves falling out, huge hardback architecture books with glossy photographs of buildings that looked like this one, and new, slick anthologies of literary theory. The walls were dressed with reprints of the once avant-garde and xeroxed flyers from rallies the week before. It was poorly lit for the most part, with yellow light bulbs in archaic lamps salvaged from thrift stores. Just bright enough for tripping on the pastiche of rugs. There was a sewing machine, unused or just misplaced, beside a large chest-of-drawers.
///
The rest of the apartment was bedrooms. Three of them, each furnished with two beds, two desks, and two sets of posters featuring leftist causes and bands from arcane genres only six people have ever heard of. The windows in the bedrooms looked out onto 115th; closer to Riverside than Broadway and quiet. Books were stacked on window ledges– cracked spines from tough love.
///
The bathroom was tiny, yellowed, and spartan except for the plethora of plastic bottles with flowery scents that barracked along the windowsill. The shower curtain was a frosted green. The sink gave away it’s age with the greco-esque pillar it sat on– kitsch that used to be class. It had only a single, white bar of soap with the letters rubbed out from use.
///
There was history in this place, flitting between the ten foot ceilings and our scalps. Lukewarm coffee after Brooklyn. Dinner parties before the dive bar. Four a.m whispered conversations over the Formica table: living in the city, moving to the country, liberation.
///
This was my New York. This is where Jennie lived.

I have been spending a bunch of time at home lately.

How do you expect to take more photos if the camera is in the bag?

That’s the question I asked myself the other day. I find that as I have fallen further and further into photography as an art, I have lost the art of the snapshot. I find myself looking for the best light and the best angle and composition which is not necessarily a bad thing, but when the stars don’t align for perfect photos around the house I tend to leave the camera in the bag. Lately, I started to realize I am missing a lot of opportunities to capture family memories. It doesn’t have to be perfect conditions to capture a quick shot of your kids being goofy or showing you their latest project. Capturing the moment is what is important.

So, about a week ago I decided to leave my DSLR out of the bag and out of harms way, but easy for me to access when a great moment presents itself. I have not taken many photos, but this has proven a fruitful effort for me. I encourage all of you to keep your camera at the ready with a charged battery to capture those fleeting moments that are often lost in the shuffle to get the camera out of the bag and ready to shoot.

Here are a some snapshots I would not have had the camera been in the bag.

DAA

(ed. All this week we’re doing band “Snap Shots” of the groups we have performing on Saturday, the 5th. This is one of those.)

All I did was send some questions to The Hand Combine, what I got were answers so endearing I decided to not edit it at all, look below.

oh gosh. try to answer these in short. grady don heard me do open mike at rubber gloves and told me he wanted to record me- so then he gave my music to his friend taylor sims (now our rhodes player) who approached me and said he wanted to play music with me. then he went along and learned what every note i was singing was ( i cannot read music and am often not in tempo) wrote the music out. anywho- that’s how he and i got together and we both also played in Sabra Laval’s band too. Kristen Bryant joined when i was looking for a back up female vocalist looking on craigslist desperately. haw. but my roommates had heard her do back up for someone else and said she was amazing, shortly after listening to her sing one song- i knew i wanted her. We are the Hand Combine now but still looking for more people.

What are we working on?
like, songs,. or uh. ha.. of course songs? um. the way we work is i write these songs then sing them to taylor and kristin and they interpret it in their own way. I normally do a vocal track and do all things with my voice.. i.e. trumpet sounds with my mouth, or slapping a suitcase for drums, making my own harmonies. not sure if this is what you want. So they make what i do on the computer come to life. We are trying to find a guitarist or drummer, or both and maybe another singer. Most of my songs are full of vocal tracks overlapping each other. i like the craziness but having some sort of order. We want to be one. all of us. just trying to hear each other and getting tight vocally and with our hearts. We are the hand combine because with out their (hands) talent- i could not have a band since i do not play any instruments. and often we use that phrase as almost a joke but it means a lot to all of us.

We discover a way to travel through time, should we do so?
eesh. that scares me to be honest. i would love to see where we will all end up,. or what i have accomplished, or how the world has changed- but i really feel everyone should embrace life the way it is. It’s like fastforwarding through a movie or reading the end of the book before you read the beginning. you lose all the middle and waste the moments that happen before. I say this now,. let’s say  it did happen- then i think i would be curious but i think we would be hurting ourselves in the long run. As much as i would like to move forward and just get over the rough spots- i’ve learned that you grow from tough times- and you become stronger and have a feeling of accomplishment. it’s nice. i really hope i am answering the questions you are asking. haw. so- no- short answer- we should not move ahead. people try to make things too difficult. life does not have to be this hard.

Best food in denton?
agh!!! bad question!!! love it all. but i tend to crave- sweet potato fries from sweetwater, pizza from j and j’s and sushi from uncommon grounds only because it’s cheap. not sure everyone else’s favorites. let me text them? ha. seaweed tofu sticks at chopsticks? not sure if that’s what they are called but amazing. get the sauce on the side!

anything we want to get out to the people?
um,.. jeepers.. this is my heart coming out of my mouth everytime we play. each song is a chunk of my life whether sad or happy. my quote for this year is “get it!” and just to embrace all of life’s happening. i embrace awkwardness. you have to. and that’s what my music is. the words are pretty ridiculous at times,. i sing about a baby wearing onesies and going number one number two in them. i think people might get confused by the messages- but hopefully the more they get to know me and the band they can embrace our music alittle more. we are here to have fun and make beauty from sadness or anger -romance- deaths, laughter. the best thing i can do in life, the most fun i ever have is to sing with people i love and hopefully people will learn the songs so everyone can sing too.

i think that is about it. hope you can use this.

These guys play in the afternoon on Saturday, hopefully it’ll be outside, and the weather will see fit to make it memorable.

Snap Shot

Fuck, life is so much more busy owning my own tattoo studio… like in comparison to helpin’ my old man run his for so long. Managing a place is one thing. But running shit and finding the time to tattoo [ and dirty webcam shows ] is quite the stretching on my time and days. But its been pretty fun so far. I know I havent even bloggated since my birthday it had its serious up and DOWNS. A lotta weird life shit went down the past couple of months and really it feels like some kinda ‘pivotal’ movie moment I guess for lack of a better description. . . . . But yeah, boss woman life gets nuts sometimes. I’ve had all kinds of stress. So much I burst a blood vessel in my eye this last week! Yeah just like on that episode of Daria, when Jake [her father wigs out and does it]. No I dont watch much TV or movies but Daria is still one of my all time favs! It’s finally starting to get better so there will be new random and sexy polaroids and lots of cam shows coming your way.

Had to get rid of another artist, typical I know. And I’ve had people work for me for years who think I’m a pretty dandy boss, or so I’ve heard. It was for the studio’s best interest though. And I have already gained a couple of great new artists because of it.
Edited 8/26: actually had to get rid of several employees! As I learned as a manager of a tattoo studio for the past 5 years ‘people with poor attitudes who don’t care about their job are like cancer. You’ve got to cut it out before it spreads.’ No need to worry some former Psycho Clown crew and more FEMALES are at the studio but there are more announcements and updates that will be coming this week from Adrenalynn INKorperated.

Funny how that works. Perhaps a part of me is believing in karma these days. I guess I just saw some really hilarious photos of this ‘chicks’ car I thought I used to  know. Meaning I thought I knew who she was, but it was all a facade. I’m just going to say I’m so glad I had a birthday, that I’m 24, and I love my multiple careers I’ve got going on, finding time to make ALL of them happen is the rough part. I could expand more on that, but maybe in another blog.

I have put a lil time into making a whole new look and feel to my site. There will be more new stuff there this week so be on the look out. And as usual the free polaroid pic is up just click the red polaroid camera right on the top of the front page. This one is a throw back after sex pic :] I had BLONDE HAIR, yes that right BLONDE. I’m also covered in spunk, a personal favorite of mine. This is just an at home post ‘afternoon delight’ photo. I was so wet you can see some of it on the side of the bed, my hubby doesn’t call me ‘Da Juice’ for nothin’. Hope you dig it, its been up for about a week now so check it out soon. I mean like TODAY, just took more for you tonight before my bath ;] That’s right updates will be coming often now that I’m back in the world of the interweb. If you do go check it out [and why wouldn't you, its a FREE nakkid dirty pic] When you check it out, you’ll see the dirty webcam show button shaped like a red webcam and pics from cam shows you can click. They will take ya to my live show if I’m on or to a page of mine. If you sign up FOR FREE you can check out recorded samples of my dirtiness from the cam shows. And if you want to see more and can’t wait there are recorded dirty clips you can check out while you’re there. Its kinda like live, just a taping of it :] I’ll be posting even more in the next few days. So all y’all who say you want new dirtiness, there ya go. Only OFFICIAL newness you can go see at the moment. And I’ll be doing a cam show at the end of this week the date and time will be posted on my site ASAP.

My good friend from montreal made the trip down to toronto to see me. I took her to the beach because the island ferry was closed due to the strike.

   Ticket stub, pick of the litter: Colonial AD 000822. Colonial ADULT. Colonial Theater ADULT ticket. Cherish is the word I use to describe.

   Adult ticket and baby heron. 8:14 this morning. First ever sighting of an immature bird. It stands in the grass. It stands about 18″ high. It stands still.

   Because it is a dark and rainy morning following a drenching night, the bird is wet and I have not brought the camera. Of course, when I am unprepared with the camera, this is the time it is most needed.  Back to the car. Here comes a person to jog. Signal intention: there is a young heron up ahead!

   The bird is Oscar if male and Grace if female. It’s a beautiful star and speckled like a hawk and steps with deft, light purpose. It plucks a big fat long worm from the wet grass, a small pond puddle. It waits. I snap. It fishes out another worm, I keep snapping. How does it find them? Another worm. This is why my friend Grumplestiltskin has recommended I take pictures. Productive snapping.

    “But you’re still not professional,”  he tells me. “And I’m a working adult.”

   Along the midsection of the towpath, spot a heron in the water and on the way back, a small snapping turtle attracts attention. We are always alone.

Kana-chan getting ready

カナちゃんが準備中

 >3<