Aunt Jen was one of nearly 40 Team Belle members who participated in the Dec. 1 half marathon in Memphis for St. Jude. One Team Belle member ran the full marathon.

Editor’s Note: The column below was written Nov. 30 for a press deadline, which was the day before the half marathon. As an update after the run and as far as I know, all Team Belle members did well and were generally pleased with their performances.

By Jennifer Davis Rash

Executive Editor, The Alabama Baptist

You would laugh if you knew how many different starts there were to this month’s column.
As I started each one, I truly thought it had potential and was excited to see how it developed. But none of them worked. They all fizzled after the midway point.
Maybe it was the wide range of emotions I’ve encountered over the past three to four weeks.

Maybe it was my strategically planned and extremely tight schedule that should have worked perfectly but never did.

Maybe it was all the interesting ways I’ve seen God show up in the routines of each day this past month.

Whatever the reason for the stall, I’m not sure. But I do know that now I find myself suddenly inspired and speedily filling in my 600 (give or take 15 to 20) words as I take a break from packing.

After all, there’s certainly nothing that motivates you like a looming deadline. Plus I needed to stop obsessing about what was going in my overnight bag anyway.

My bag is light and filled mainly with running shoes, athletic clothing and protein bars. I’ve checked three times — yes, my running shoes are in the bag!

Team Belle

Around 40 of us are headed to Memphis to run/walk in a half-marathon to raise money for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital in honor of my niece Belle (see October Rashional Thoughts for Belle’s story or visit www.caringbridge.org/visit/bellemitchell).
We’ll join about 18,000 others in the run, but we hope our Team Belle shirts will definitely make a statement.

Running is not necessarily my idea of fun nor am I any good at it, but the experience of training for something way out of my league has been a great exercise in discipline and perseverance.

Staying motivated

I’ve encountered numerous obstacles and challenges to staying on track with my training. I’ve easily lost motivation to stay focused several times throughout the past six months.  I’ve heard others on the team say the same thing.

Some garnered new work responsibilities and demands that kidnapped those extra minutes they used to spend training.

Some encountered health problems; some fractured bones.

Some faced major life decisions and found themselves too emotionally exhausted to lace up their running shoes.

Everyone’s story is different, and everyone’s point of decision is different. But everyone had to make the decision to start down the path and when the tough days came, they had to decide to keep going.

As far as I know, we haven’t lost one member of Team Belle. In fact, we gained a few along the way.

It’s like our spiritual journey. There are days when we feel like we could run the entire race that day. And then there are days we can’t put one foot in front of the other.

But we keep going, holding onto God’s promises and looking up.

First Corinthians 15:58 reminds us, “Stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.”

Psalm 17:5 reads, “My steps have held to Your paths; my feet have not slipped.”

So, just as Team Belle has trained and persevered for that glorious moment of crossing the finish line, I am reminded to do the same in the race to the ultimate finish line.

Executive Editor, The Alabama Baptist

Belle met a new friend during her recent checkup at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. Aaron is his name. He and his family had moved into the Memphis Ronald McDonald House “just five hours ago,” they shared as Belle introduced herself to Aaron.

Belle waits out front the Memphis Ronald McDonald House for her friends who are coming to play with her (September 2012).

Aaron wasn’t so sure about Belle despite her best efforts to convince him to play with her. As Aaron debated, I could only notice the weariness and fear in the parents’ eyes.

I knew it well. It was the same look I saw in my sister- and brother-in-law’s eyes just over three years ago when Belle’s cancer diagnosis was announced. Belle was 2 when the tumor was discovered and she and her mommy moved to Memphis temporarily for treatment.
She’s 5 now, a kindergartener and living life like any other child — except she is not cancer free. We live life in three-month segments, from one checkup to the next.

Each time Belle “goes in the big machine” as she calls the MRI scan on her brain and spine, our family holds a collective breath until the results are shared.

But even with the compartmentalized fear that has forever tucked itself into our beings, we bounce around the St. Jude campus like it’s home, greeting new families and encouraging them like so many did our family three years ago.

And Belle is right there with us — actually she’s the one leading us.

Belle has a sincere and loving heart and truly befriends every person she meets. Among her best friends are her three siblings. She tells others about them constantly and always gets four stickers from the doctors and nurses so everyone gets a sticker, not just Belle.

She also has close friends she loves dearly in her hometown as well as lifelong friends she has met through St. Jude.

In fact, when she returns for her St. Jude visits, she has a list of friends with whom she expects to have a play date. Belle picks right back up with them as if they were together yesterday no matter how long they’ve been apart.

Belle also pays close attention to details and will pull out a memory as she walks down the halls of the hospital. “Remember when …” she says as she outlines the exact toy she was playing with or the funny joke that was said when that particular memory originally happened. She also fondly remembers her St. Jude friends who are no longer with us.

While waiting for an appointment to see one of the doctors at St. Jude, Belle entertains those in the waiting room area (September 2012).

I watch her and I learn. She is a masterful teacher. I sit in amazement at how she truly lives every nanosecond to the fullest and doesn’t let the worries of life steal away her time. It frustrates her when a situation prevents any aspect of life from being filled with pure joy — even the moments that make the adults around her cringe.

As I write this column, I watch her sleep and think about all the hopes and dreams she expresses for the future. “When I go to high school …” and “When I’m 18 …” and “I’m going to marry …” — she chatters about her “when I grow up” dreams each time I’m with her, and each time I say a silent prayer that she does indeed get to experience what she has just described.

Her hugs, her sweet words and her smile will easily melt your heart, while her sassiness, spirit and courage boost your strength and motivation almost immediately. And her sincere compassion and love, well, they simply make us better.

So many times, she has been the strongest of all of us.

We don’t know the future for Belle, but we have no question that God is using Belle’s life to touch the world. I know I am better just because I have the privilege of being her aunt.

The journey was difficult, tiring and painful. It also was exhilarating, rewarding and encouraging.

Completing the run (most of which was a fast walk for me) meant I had to train in advance. I would not have been able to achieve the goal without a consistent building up of endurance, cardio, muscles and desire. In order to train, I had to eat properly and get enough rest, which meant I had to carve out time to make all of this happen. Finding the time meant setting priorities, improving efficiency in all areas and cutting out unnecessary items.

And through it all, working to find more uninterrupted time with the Lord became the key to staying sane for me.

But as I alternated running, jogging and walking through the streets of Memphis with more than 12,000 others (most of whom were much faster than me), I also realized how much more I could have done. I remembered all the times my training didn’t stay on schedule and wondered what difference it would have made that morning if I had maintained better training. What if I had done more to build up muscle mass? What if I had put more focus on meal planning and nutrition? What if I had worked harder on cardio endurance and running? Could I have run more than I walked instead of vice versa? And, ouch, what if I had trained on hills rather than staying on flat terrain? Those hills were quite painful.

The answer to all the questions is yes. I certainly could have done better with more training and better focus, but isn’t that always the deal? We can always do better in all areas of life, and I certainly plan to build on the lessons I’ve learned this year and hope to do even better next year. But I’m not going to be disappointed about this year’s achievements, even with various setbacks along the way, because I still made forward progress.

On the day of the run, I found the ability to keep going even when my muscles screamed otherwise because the cause is near and dear to my heart (see http://www.caringbridge.com/visit/bellemitchell) and a group of about 15 of us were on the same team (Team Belle). Having the right motivation and working together with others rather than alone really made a difference. Another major help came from the support I received from family and friends leading up to the big run as well as the cheers from people I didn’t know along the course.

I believe this result can happen in all aspects of life. Knowing you have the support of others, feeling confident you are not alone, being encouraged by hearing a good word here and there — it truly does provide those necessary boosts along the way.

I started the year with a goal to figure it all out — how to balance life and maintain a sense of freshness and energy consistently. I certainly didn’t master it nor officially achieve it, but I have learned a lot and come a long way on the journey. As I think through my goals for next year, I plan to start with the foundation I’ve built this year. Maybe I’ll outline a few specific goals on which to focus as well as continue my quest of achieving near-perfect balance while maintaining the ability to adjust to whatever life circumstances surprise me.

How can it be that my heart hurts so much? I do care for all of them deeply, but the pain that exists is theirs, not mine. Still I hurt as if it were my own.

Call after call, email after email, personal story after personal story and all in just a few months time — so many close friends and family members feeling such intense levels of loss.

One dear friend buried her 21-year-old son just days after another friend buried her 14-year-old daughter. Another has been told that it’s only a matter of time for her 2-year-old. Yet another fears this could be her child’s fate also.

One lost her husband because he doesn’t want to be married any longer; another is losing his wife for the same reason. One lost his wife to Alzheimer’s; another is losing his to cancer.

Two families are losing their adult children — one a young man, the other a young woman — to lifestyles that mock their family’s Christian faith and value system. One mother lost her teenage son to stubbornness and rebellion. Another family is working through lost trust and forgiveness.

Three young women feel the loss of not yet finding their life mate.

A handful of others lost income and struggle to pay the bills; another lost a large amount in a business investment.

The situations are all different, but they all revolve around pain, loss and a broken heart.

I know I can really never know the extent of the pain because it is their pain, but I do know that I have hurt for them at such an intense level. In every case, I’ve wanted to rush to them and take the pain away, do anything I could to heal their heart. But I know I can’t do that. Only God can care for them at that level. It is their pain to bear, and they have to decide to set their face toward the wind and push through the hurt, even with the multitude of layers and setbacks, in order to find healing.

And while it has been an honor for me to be part of the prayer and emotional support for each of them, it also has taken me on a journey of personal pain as I moved from care and concern to grieving in a sort of vicarious way I’ve never really experienced before. I took on each situation as if it was my own, and in doing so, I’ve uncovered a few areas of personal pain I really didn’t want to face. Doing this has taken a lot out of me emotionally, but the result is proving to be positive growth in me spiritually.

My time with the Lord has been so much more enriched and intense as I’ve pleaded on their behalf as well as my own. My spirit has been truly broken as I’ve wept for them and gained an increased sensitivity to the hurts of others. The Book of Psalms has come to life for me like never before, and the words of songs have ministered to me like only a few other times in my life.

The pain is deep and real; the temptation is to hide and avoid it. I’m learning a lot about just how much one’s heart can hurt and how much one can draw closer to Jesus through the pain. I also know I’m not alone. So many of us mask deep hurts every day as we weave through the many activities of life.

Share your stories and how a psalm or a song ministered to you during your time of need by emailing me at jrash@thealabamabaptist.org. I would love to share your stories as well as the specific Scriptures and words of songs in an upcoming Rashional Extras.

Picture it — a cold, rainy, miserable Saturday morning in 2009. And uncoordinated, out-of-shape me attempting to run my first 5K race.

It wasn’t pretty but I did it.

Sure, part of my motivation to finish the 5K while still running (more like slightly bouncing) rather than crawling came from the fact that the only person behind me was a sluggish 10-year-old attempting to run his first 5K also.

But most of my motivation came from those encouraging me and running with me.

My husband was on one side and a dear friend on the other. Both could have finished the race in less than 20 minutes but they didn’t leave me. They slowed their pace to turtle speed and stayed right by my side, talking me through it.

While I love how much my hubby supports me in all that I do, I have to say it was almost as discouraging as it was encouraging for him to run with me. Just because he’s some super athlete who hasn’t met a sport or exercise he can’t do doesn’t mean he should be able to walk up to a 5K starting line and run the entire thing with no problem when he didn’t train one single day ahead of time. That just can’t be fair.

My friend, however, was an encouragement. She is the one who encouraged me to give it a try. So, one of my New Year’s resolutions was to run a 5K that year. Amazingly enough, I ran it in March — again not pretty but accomplished.

And so you might think the rest of my column will be filled with inspiring words of how I moved on from there to be a world-class marathoner and that you can do it, too. But you would be wrong.

I actually stopped exercising consistently after that 5K — not sure why but I did.

Maybe it’s because I’m goal-oriented and I set a “too achievable” goal. Granted I never would have believed I could run a 5K before I did, so I certainly didn’t think it would be as achievable as it was.

Maybe it’s because I didn’t have a pacing/accountability partner at the same level.

Maybe I wasn’t doing it for the right reasons, not looking at it as part of my overall health maintenance plan. Maybe I just did it to see if I could.

Whatever the reason, I did stop exercising on a regular basis and that’s not good. From there, time got away from me, work became busier and other life issues happened. It was easy to just ignore exercise, at least until late last summer when my sister-in-law asked me if I had been able to regroup on my exercising. She is my husband’s twin so again athletic genes! But she also is the mother of my 3-year-old niece, Belle, who is fighting cancer.

I explained how I would love to make a regimented exercise routine work for me but I just have all of these things going on plus with Belle’s cancer, I’m spending all my extra time helping with her, etc., etc.

Wait a minute! There I was using Belle’s cancer as an excuse not to exercise when Belle’s mommy was consistent with her exercise.

It was when I heard myself say it that my perspective changed. While praying for God’s help, I resolved to figure out how to make exercise work in my life. And so here I am.

If you, like me, are interested in learning about various exercise programs, how to get started, how to take yourself to the next level and/or some specific lifestyle changes to make to be more heart healthy, then check out http://www.thealabamabaptist.org for fitness-related articles.

Be sure to e-mail me at jrash@thealabamabaptist.org about how your exercise routine is working and share any tips that have made a difference for you. Or just post a comment here.

I’m interested in hearing your stories.

I really want to write a cool Christmas parody, but the brain cells … well … they are scarcity. ☺

Next should be “the end,” but my heart is so full and blessings overflow that I just have to share a few special moments from a day or so. (And I promise the rhyming stops here.)

Christmas Day may not technically be here yet, but I’ve been having Christmas all month.

It started with a special experience at Disney World and Universal with Belle (my niece who is fighting cancer), her siblings and the entire family. A full week of pure, magical fun — even if after riding The Cat in The Hat so many times I’m still riding it in my sleep and even if the lady who took our group shot called my relatively new SLR digital camera “old fashioned.” Her little point-and-shoot camera only has an LCD screen and she had not seen an optical viewfinder in a while, so she assumed my camera was out of date. Argh … but this piece is about joyous moments, so I move on.

While in Orlando, our family got to visit our elderly grandparents in Tampa and be a part of them meeting their great-grandchildren for the first time. To see the excitement and joy on their faces — I can’t describe it.

We also caught up with some other precious family members and friends we haven’t seen in a while and that meant a lot.

We also made new friends and had opportunity to share our story along with our faith. I hope we also spread some joy along the way.

The morning we arrived home, we experienced the first snow of the season, which is always magical in its own way, and anticipate seeing more this weekend.

The next weekend we had another special family event complete with friends from years past and lots of good food. Conversations were real, hugs were tight and many moments were sweet.

I’ve also had opportunities along the way to hear from and catch up with special friends who are far away this season. I miss them, but they are doing great things.

And then there are my co-workers and my fellow volunteers in ministry at church. How could I make it without them? They have been especially uplifting and encouraging to me this month, giving in so many ways and doing so much beyond the call of duty.

A few other special moments were when we got to provide clothes and toys for a few families and then to hear about their reactions and how much it meant — another teary moment for me this season.

Wow, so much already and we still get to experience more Christmas as we continue on through the season of our Savior. I am truly blessed.

Merry Christmas to all … and to all a good night. (I couldn’t resist.)