It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that there are certain behaviors that one should exude in church.  Church is the house of the Lord.  You should be reverent and respectful and keep your txt messaging to a minimum. 

If you aren’t Twittering or sending txt messages to God, then you need to be paying attention to the minister, unless he’s totally boring and has no idea what the difference is between the Old Testament and the New.  Otherwise, the following behavior is permissible in church.  But you didn’t hear it from Hottywood.  Far be it from me to give you a one-way pass straight to hell (unless you piss me off, then I’m giving tickets away for free). 

*** 

The Top 10 Things NOT to do in Church

***

(1) Don’t stand up and shout “Bingo!” during service.  The clergy staff will not like it and you’ll be expected to give more money to the collection plate.  Sister Mary Louise may also be upset you didn’t invite her. 

___________________________________________________________

(2) Don’t drink 10 shots of communion wine.  This screams rehab!  The attention you’ll get from doing this is quite the opposite of a room full of drunks screaming “Chug-a-lug,” unless your church service is held in the back of the corner liquor store. 

 That is the only exception to the rule. 

___________________________________________________________

(3) Don’t bring your own bottle for communion.  Bringing your own bottle says two things about you.  (1) You’re a lush and (2) you’re selfish.  Next time, bring enough for everyone. 

___________________________________________________________

(4) Don’t hit on the preacher’s wife.  Trust me, this never ends well.  Either she’ll slap you or the preacher will do it for her…one way or another you’re getting slapped.  Carry plenty of Vaseline.  It’ll soften the blow.  

___________________________________________________________

(5) Don’t drop it like it’s hot when catching the Holy Ghost.  This is a one-way ticket straight to hell (where the party never stops…nor does the consistent sweating).   Besides, your pores are probably still open and you wreak of alcohol and cigarette smoke.  Do yourself a favor and sit your ass down. 

___________________________________________________________

                                                                                                                                                       (6) DON’T throw tomatoes at the childrens’ choir.  We know kids are cute and all, but their singing is another story.  Even though you may want to cut your ears off with the edges of your church bulletin, they are still kids.  Save the tomatoes for the parents who keep telling you how talented their untalented children are. 

 ___________________________________________________________

(7) Don’t change your cell phone ringtone to “Pop that Pussy” during prayer unless you just really really like that song.  I know I do.  Actually, you’d be surprised at the number of old people who have provocative ring tones on their cellies.  However, just to be safe…

___________________________________________________________

(8) Don’t snore in church, especially if you’re the preacher.  If you’re leading by example, the whole damn church will be sleeping (which might work out okay for the heathens that are just getting in from the club).   

___________________________________________________________

(9) Don’t go straight to church from the club.  Truth be told, most churches say, “Come as you are,” so why not?  I’m sure the deacons won’t mind. 

…their wives are a different story.

___________________________________________________________

(10) Don’t forget where you are when it’s time for your solo.   Church is a place for worship, not trying to score a record deal.  Don’t be a skank.  Some people may not get into it, but you can blame the heavy breathing and stripping on catching the Holy Ghost.  Just watch out for lightning bolts and paramedics as they come to administer CPR to those old folks who drop dead during your performance.  *Although what better place to have a funeral than at church, right?

___________________________________________________________

There you have it folks.  The top 10 things you should NOT do in church.  I won’t tell you how I know these things.  I told you I’m a plethera of information.  If you have a problem with it, take it up with Jesus!  

P.S.,

Is there room in your church for me?  Because once my pastor sees this, I’m getting booted out of mine! 

Until next time my little onion flavored wood chips.  Feel free to stop by and check me out anytime, as long as it’s no time before 11am.  If you knock on my door or ring my phone anytime before then, I’ll cut your ass.  If you don’t believe me, try me!   Remember - 90% of any effort is getting started. 

Quote of the week:     “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to McDonald’s makes you a hamburger.”

Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/mrhollywood2009

Rad: F.Nansens vei – Theisendammen – Bakli-Lysløype – Fjellseter-Lysløype – Fjellsætra/Fjellseterveien – Ri. Høghaugen – Vintervannsmyra – Weg zur Elgsethytta.
Abzw. zur Storheia – Rundheia (498m) – Kvistingen – Litlheia (492m) – Storheia (565m) – Bosbergheia (537m) – Litl-Kvistingen – Elgsethytta-Weg/Abzw. zur Storheia
Rad: Elgsethytta-Weg – Vintervatnet – Fjellseterveien – Gamle Skivei – Baklidammen – Sommerseter / Tursti – Theisendammen – F.Nansens vei

Ca. 2.25+.5 h / 9+1.5 km / 460 +100 hm und 16.1km / 330hm Rad

Pics…

Voor Dee & Eel (het was leuk gister):

The problem with shooting on film without a darkroom… waiting.

Gabriel is a cool kid.  Photos and his story coming soon…

…to what their future plans are that is.

Map The Soul had released a video update, or v-log I should say, about their upcoming activities as a company and as artists.  Mithria Jin & Tablo took it the streets of Korea as they talked about upcoming albums, works, and their solo aspects.

All of us were happy to hear of the updates and even more so that they might be releasing Epik High tunes pre-Tukutz entering his mandated military service!

Check out both videos updates below!

menyambung tulisan saya tentang kota Solo beberapa pekan yang lalu, sekarang saya akan menulis tentang toko buku dan pusat penjualan buku yang ada di kota Solo. Solo mempunyai beberapa toko buku yang bisa dibilang lengkap. toko buku Gramedia misalnya. di Solo, toko buku gramedia ada di 4 tempat. pertama, di jalan Slamet Riyadi. toko buku di jalan Slamet Riyadi ini, merupakan pusat Gramedia di kota Solo. sebelum memasuki toko bukunya, di bagian depan kita akan melewati pameran lukisan yang unik sekali. kedua, ada di Solo Square. toko buku Gramedia di Solo Square terletak di dalam pusat perbelanjaan tersebut. tetapi sangat nyaman, bahkan sama nyamannya dengan yang di pusatnya di Slamet Riyadi. yang ketiga, adalah toko buku Gunung Agung yang terletak di Solo Grand Mall. tetapi, tempatnya kecil kalau menurut saya pribadi. dan, yang terakhir adalah toko buku Tisera ( Tiga Serangkai ) yang terletak di Goro Assalaam.

selain Gramedia Bookstore, di Solo ada tempat penjualan buku-buku bekas yang masih bisa dipakai untuk belajar. tempat itu bernama Sriwedari, terletak di dekat stasiun Purwosari, SOlo. tepatnya di belakang taman Sriwedari. tempat ini kerap menjadi kunjugan favorit para mahasiswa yang mencari diktat mata kuliah yang jika dibeli di gramedia harganya akan sangat mahal. harga buku-buku di Sriwedari berkisar sekitar IDR 20.000. yang penting, harus bisa pandai tawar-menawar tentunya. untuk harga komik dan buku bacaan akan lebih murah tentunya. disana juga menjual majalah-majalah bekas yang sudah lama terbit. jadi bisa ber nostalgia melihat majalah-majalah lama.

satu hal yang perlu diketahui oleh kalian semua, di Solo terdapat pusat penerbitan buku Tisera. aku pernah kesana waktu SMA, karena yang mempunyai penerbit Tisera merupakan pemilik dari SMA tempat saya belajar (SMA Assalaam) , yaitu Ibu Hj. Aminah. aku excited banget waktu kesana ngeliat gimana buku-buku tersebut dibuat, melalui proses pembuatan gambar depan, pencetakan, hingga pengeleman, sampai dengan pengepakan.

I am the stereotypical photographer that hates to be in front of the camera. If I could wear a monk’s robe and hood while photographing others – and not freak them out – I would.

To embrace my continued ambition for all this nonsense to get bigger and better, I am trying to step up and present myself. In keeping with my attempt for photos to actually say something – even if it’s a lie – I wanted this to say a little something. This photo is a complete lie.

I wear prescription glasses. Have since first grade. I have wanted nothing more than to be able to wear sunglasses. It seems my eyesight is so bad that until recently they did not make contacts strong enough. Lasik correction surgery would probably be a waste as well. The optometrist said I would never be able to see as well as I do with glasses. So, I get to fake it in a photo with my wife’s sunglasses.

The shirt is a lie. It doesn’t fit me.

I’m not a photojournalist. We don’t have to present the facts. We can make up the truth. It’s more fun that way.

A ioSafe lançou esta semana um disco rígido de 2TB que parece ser praticamente indestrutível.

De acordo com a fabricante ele pode suportar temperaturas de até 845ºC por meia hora, ou ser submerso em água doce ou salgada a até 3 metros de profundidade por três dias.

Voce olha isso e pensa: Meu Deus! Então meus dados estarão seguros para sempre! A resposta é… não.

Apenas o case do Solo – assim chamado – é resistente. Seu HD é igual a todos os outros, suscetível a falhas elétricas, físicas (como quedas) e etc. E aí, vale a pena pagar US$ 400 num desses?

Confira esse “scratch test” insano:

Como informei anteriormente Cheryl Cole, esteve no “Children In Need” (evento beneficiente). Cheryl fez duas performances uma cantando “Set The Fire To The Third Bar”, dueto com a banda Snow Patrol e seu single solo “Fight For This Love”. Os videos abaixo são videos amadores, feitos por fãs. Em breve os videos oficiais do programa:

“Set The Fire To The Third Bar” com o Snow Patrol.

“Fight For This Love”

Ken

Ken’s 1st live DVD Ken TOUR 2009 “LIVE IN PHYSICAL” will be released this Wednesday, November 18! And probably for this purpose, Ken is doing some promo work!
Magazines
11/05 Ongaku to Hito
11/14 WHAT’s IN? (column)
11/24 Men’s SPIDER

TV
11/16~11/20 MUSIC ON! TV “M-ON! News & Clips”
Mon.~Fri. 9:00~10:00, Tue. ~ Fri. 17:30~19:00
11/21 MUSIC ON! TV “ASAHI SUPER DRY The LIVE NAVI”
24:00~25:00, (re-runs) 11/22 16:00~17:00, 11/24 25:00~26:00

VAMPS

Magazines
11/14 WHAT’s IN?
11/28 B-PASS
11/29 FOOL’S MATE
12/10 Arena 37℃
12/16 KERA

Web
TV-LIFE WEB (Live report of HELLWEEN LIVE 2009, photos of HYDE as Boy George as well as K.A.Z as Yatterman and others)
(I previously posted this Nov. 12)

TV
11/21 VAMPS LIVE 2009 USA (digest ver.)  26:45~27:15
12/24 VAMPS LIVE 2009 USA (Full ver. re-run) 21:00~22:50

Tetsu

TV
11/15 FujiTV NEXT “Inazuma Rock Fes 2009″
[day 1] 19:30~21:30, [day 2] 21:30~23:30