Listen up, listen up!
Here we go
It’s a fucked up world
A fucked up place
Everybody’s judged by their fucked up face
Fucked up dreams
Fucked up life
A fucked up kid
With a fucked up knife
Fucked up moms
And fucked dads
There’s a fucked up a cop
With a fucked up badge
Fucked up job
With fucked up pay
And a fucked up boss
Is a fucked up day
Fucked up press
And fucked up lie…

Everyone leaves you alone, just when you need them; And you think of that need and you find yourself weak. You try to find something to fill that hollow and everything you find, disappears at the moment you decide to rely on it. You are always alone..you are meant to be alone..you are here to be alone and you have to learn this fact.

Today was a boring and stressful work day. I was thinking of time..the future..the destiny. I was feeling like I wanted to be somewhere else..somewhere quiet..far away from daily noises. I miss something inside but I don’t know what. Some fears hinder me from feeling calm and happy, fear of happening something bad..something unpleasant. My soul has been looking for peace and serenity but hasn’t find it yet..

I often say that gardening is the best kind of therapy. It is cheap, and plants always listen. There is no prognosis, diagnosis, or prescription at the end of a day of gardening, and the mixture of aesthetic bliss mixed in with the honest sweat on your brow goes beyond the feeling of satisfaction.  

I  find that I take the most joy out of gardening by noticing the small details. When I worked on my gardens in Pennsylvania, my cat was my garden companion, and I was in such a relaxed state when I was pulling the thistles out of my perennial borders with my delightfully obese orange tabby by my side. In New York, my garden is now in the shape of a 50 square foot terrace, limited to several containers with room for a small grill and cafe seating for two.

While cleaning up the annuals for fall, I pulled out the Ipomoea batatas (Sweet Potato Vine) to find little sweet potato tubers growing in my containers. Of course I have had this happen in planting beds in the country, but I didn’t expect to find so many growing in my limited container space. I have never heard of anyone eating the tubers of the ornamental sweet potato vines, and don’t recommend it as these plants have been cultivated for their showy qualities as opposed to their agrarian counterparts. Regardless, it is fun to find these little surprises in the garden. Perhaps this spring I will try some actual veggies on the terrace in addition to my herbs.

Today I went to my university to do some paper works. It was interesting visiting the place after two years. Many things had been changed specially the people!. I was remembering those days in university and also  ran into a friend. Something inside was unhappy I didn’t know why or maybe I did. I was feeling like I had missed  four five years of my life somewhere. It’s weird that I have this feeling now too and I think I’m few years behind the present.

Nov.17.2009

Another boring and tiresome day at work. We had some fight between staff and manager. Tomorrow I’m off and will follow up some personal issue. It’s a good feeling being away from work.  fact of the day: Haven’t learned to say NO!

I started my work out program tonight,It was good and I’m happy of that.

16-Nov-09

Today was a boring day at work. We had a center down, and everything else was like before. I read something about QoS and MPLS. It was the first day of work that I blogged about.

14-November-2009

Hi and welcome. I’m quite new to these blogging thing. Saya buat blog ni pun hanya untuk sesaja mengisi masa lapang. kalau ada pape yang saya rasa menarik saya akan pos. satu blog yang biasa saja…. terima kasih la sebab sudi menjenguk ke blog saya yang takde pape ni… have a good day

Welcome to my little corner on the web, in where I’m gonna share something with someone I might even don’t know.

i strongly believe there are two major kind of people in this world : those who can and those who can’t.

ofc there are different shades of grey … but mainly what we got here is simple : pleople that understand the mechanics of this world and try to make the best of it or at least try to work their way through, with ups and downs, with pain and joy with all this life has to offer and following (or stepping on) their principles … some succeed, some fail, but in the end they did something – these are the people that we see as the heart and soul of the party, the people that know how to joke, know how to stand up when shit goes down, people that know when to be serious and when to wheep, people that know when to talk and when to shut up or better yet, people that know to smile and say “i’m ok” after they just triped and falled on their knees in a big muddy … sticky something…

and then, are the those who can’t… those that all they know to do is complain, all they do is talk how ugly and shitty and bad life is, how people are unfair, how life sux … blah blah blah… those people never understand life is the same for everyone, each and everyone of us has shit to deal with, just some of them don’t make a drama out of everything and try to see the other half of the glass.

this might seem kinda hypocritical coming out from me, a very cinical person (or so i like to think i am) but i am trully sick and tired of people complaining – this country sux, the other one is better, this job sux, the other one is better, this boyfriend/girlfriend sux, the other one is better, what i have is no good, all bad things happend to me, what the other one has is perfect, look what a happy life he/she is living  : cmon, every country sux, every job sux, everything around us cand be either shitty or good, depends on yourself to see the better in people and thing around u or to see the bad, dirty and filth in everything.

what u see and think is better are things that those people that can make it look easy, when it is not; it is the same thing everywhere (one may argue – it is not, do not compare mexico with romania or swiss with australia) – what i try to say here is that there is no “heaven on earth” stop looking for it, stop fraking complaining and get your shit together.

i am not complaining, i am just frustrated that i sometimes get fooled by those people and i start to feel sorry and start to care, when all they really need is a strong kick in the but.

i know people that have a lot of bad luck and stuff happening to them but they know how to make it through the day, they panic for a second there but always come out good, and i also know people that dramatize everything and all they know to do is complain about others.  those are the people that i am never going to raise a finger for because they are lazy and want others to do it for them because that is what they think a happy life means.

and some golden rules that stand for what i said here :

Rule 1 : Life is not fair — get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will
expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You
won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents
had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 5 : If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine
about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 6 : Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have
to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 7 : Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.

this is for the people that keep asking me why i don’t vote…

Fall is a tricky time for gardening. With cooler evenings, and more frequent rain, gardens tend to prepare themselves for winter while their owners continue tramping around in their sandals fearful to unpack their cool season sweaters. I see this every day walking around New York City; impatiens linger in forlorn planters while hardier vines fill in spots now left empty from earlier summer spectacles.  

The first day of that crisp autumn air always sets off my annual alarm that says it’s time for apple cider, spiced chai lattes, pumpkins, squash, and all things accompanied by the refreshing seasonal changes. Fall is also time to refresh you garden, and a few changes can add just enough zing to last your landscape through frost.

Try these simple tips:

1. Add Lights for Evening. Temporary luminaries are terrific for outdoor events, while solar lights are a more environmentally friendly long term option.
2. Have fun! Don’t take the garden so seriously. Enjoy the harvest and all things bountiful, mix it up a little and add color or seasonal interest where you may not do so for the rest of the season.
3. Look for contrasting foliage instead of short lived blooms as a backdrop for the garden (leave the mums behind)
4. Paint a snow scene without using the white paint. Can you paint a fall scene without the typical hues of yellow orange and red? Consider an alternative pallette with rich burgundy, brown and olive. Or how about pink and lime green. Think of ways to translate this into your plantings, and outdoor accessories. 
5. Skip the flowers and go straight for the berries. Callicarpa americana (Beautyberry) is a personal favorite, and is readily accessible garden centers.