It’s been twenty two years after my soul had its existence on this heavenly Earth. This soul has a mate somewhere and is now badly in need of it. Though I was never literally ’searching’ for my soulmate all these years, I believe that I will meet my soul mate very soon.

Being a male, I’m attracted to every single good looking female – It’s only attraction. They can’t soothe me of my pain or cannot understand my happiness. It’s only a soul mate who can understand my world only to make it Our World.

Though bodily desires and fetishes are a part of being together, understanding each other occupies most of the chart. Two people attracted to each other stay happy only when each treat the other at others liberty. She is one such soul mate who treats me at my liberty.

After yesterday’s personal disappointment and reality check it was great to do a long, slow trail ride on Pie today.  I get a lot of inspiration from the trees and the hills on these rides but working through other areas of life make it hard to follow my usual approach to my work. We tried to follow the power lines all the way to my parent’s house since that is where Thanksgiving was supposed to be. However, we couldn’t find a way through and it would have been a long ride back. Instead of seeing what was around me I was just trying to focus on moving forward. Literally and emotionally.  Riding a horse can give one that feeling.

I am frequently so inspired by the color of the leaves and branches and grasses when they are damp with mist and rain.  The problem is that the snapshot that I usually see when I want to make a new piece isn’t happening.  When I am stalled like this, I have two ways of getting back into my work and one is to just sit there and force myself to work from one of my sketches (since I have several ongoing sketch books there is plenty to choose from) or work in one of my other creative outlets.  I think I’m going to card some wool and spin some yarn.  I’d intended to make a neck gator for someone I know from the track but after yesterday’s disappointment, I’ll need to find  another reason to make some yarn.

Pie looks so lovely today I wish that I was more inspired by him to create a new horse collage of him.  The only thing that comes to mind with him is ideas for children’s books.

Do any other artists out there have suggestions for working when a bit broken-hearted?  While writing this I keep looking over something that I started this spring, I stopped working on it to finish many other pieces.  I resent it sitting there looking at me.  Sitting next to the new miter saw and the air compressor for my new nail guns.  All of this stuff just waiting for me to work.  Very annoying because I am typically prolific.  I just feel as though each piece of paper would be very heavy.  Or the colors would be too hard to find.  Or maybe I would bump into something since things are still a bit messy and then I’d get a bruise and have to stop working anyway.

I can’t believe this is me talking.  Typically I’m so into my work that I don’t think about romance but something finally changed.  I don’t think I have a biological clock so it can’t be about babies but I recently realized I don’t want to be alone.  Maybe I can make a piece about that.  How will I do that?

Maybe I can find an article in some old newspaper about someone who thought they finally found their soul mate but then realized their soul mate is an idiot.  I know there isn’t a new human emotion or emotional scenario out there.  But I don’t think I can muster the angst over a broken-heart like Frida Kahlo.  Boy she could really make something over her pain!

There is a quirky little show where the entries are to be small 8 x 10 self-portraits.  I haven’t done a self-portrait since I was in my late teens.  This could be a good time for it.

Ok, Saturday I will try to make a self-portrait.  By Sunday evening I will take a photo of it and post it up here.

I love surveys for multiple reasons. One, they ask questions that the mind doesn’t normally concoct, and two, they give you a time for self-reflection, to really think about how you feel on a topic. It’s all too often that words are spat without much thought behind them, and these types of questions open such a wide window to somebody’s mind.

There are a few questions I’ve come across that I find particularly interesting, show a lot about a person’s character, or could be questions that you’re glad to have the answer to although you’d never thing to ask.

So here is where I bare my soul to you…

1.   What are some of the most important lessons you’ve learned about pain in your life?

Whatever hurts the most will be the most beneficial. It relates to every single situation. You don’t learn from success, you learn from failure, from heartache. Pain is one of the strongest feelings you can experience, especially if it’s emotional. And it’s those pains that absolutely fascinate me. Take love for example, people experience the highest highs and the lowest lows, and yet, they keep coming back for more. Pain makes the great times great.

2.   What risks have you taken in your life, have you avoided any?

I take a risk every second of every day, and it’s silly because the only ones that I avoid are the ones that can’t actually hurt me. I just can’t bring myself to be openly forward to somebody I’m infatuated with. Funny how things work.

3.   What sound or noise do you love?

What first came to mind: the sound of a creek, birds, stomach grumbles, hair being brushed, and apple ingestion.

4.   What profession, other than your own/your goal, would you like to attempt?

I seriously considered forensic pathology and psychology. I would also love to do something with children, whether it be a teacher or a social worker.

5.   Are you a touchy feely person?

One of the biggest ball busters in college is (depending on your situation) that hugs aren’t a regular occurrence. At home, my mom and sister are always hugging me or smothering me in some manner. Then when I got to college, I got maybe a hug every week or so. (This was the case at the beginning of the quarter. Since then, I’ve shared my pain and my sweet roommate/best friend Gillie has vowed to hug me at least once a day. Tia also contributes generously and I couldn’t be more thankful. I’ve also become more open with my affection and put other’s securities aside.) To sum up, yes. I always love a hug.

6.   Every come close to death?

Yes. Need I say more?

7.   If money were not an object, what would you do with your life?

To be honest, I would live homeless. Nothing would be more fulfilling than traveling without a care in the world. With homes and possessions comes responsibility and worry. You worry about it’s condition and how it compares. Keep your pool and Gucci purse, give me only the necessities. I want nothing more than a chance to experience/learn every single thing I can get my hands on.

8.   If you could be a bird, which would you choose to be?

A hummingbird or a hawk. So different yes, but both equally as fascinating. One’s heartbeat is enough to leave me speechless, and the other is so majestic, how could you not fantasize about a role reversal?

9.   Which do you prefer, giving or receiving?

Lol. In all seriousness though, giving. I would trade receiving a dress or purse with giving one any day. This sort of ties into my passion for random acts of kindness. If you’ve ever experienced a really random act of kindness you know how absolutely phenomenal it feels. Knowing that you could be the cause of that is even more rewarding.

10.   What turns you on creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?

Creatively: Talent driven by passion. When somebody’s so driven by their love for something that they truly shine above the rest… damn. I have the utmost respect for someone who’s great at what they do, and they’re the fucking best at it because of it.

Spiritually: An open mind/tolerance/general interest. All three are tied, because in my opinion, they all go hand in hand. The first two are pretty self explanatory, and the last is because if you have a general interest in religion or spirituality, I’d like to think that the other two follow. I’m strongly opinionated on the subject, so someone who I can talk and explore it with is at the top of my list.

Emotionally: Genuine sincerity. Truth prevails in my book, so when somebody’s genuine in their sincere actions, well, they couldn’t have done it better.Compassion and kindness are great and all, but if they’re not real, then they shouldn’t even exist.

11.   What turns you off?

Basically, the opposite of all three. I especially hate intolerance and untruths.

12.   What bores you? What never bores you?

Waiting for my food at a restaurant really, really bores me. I don’t know if it’s the excitement and anticipation, but I really hate it. Drawing never bores me, and it’s rare that conversation bores me. (Let me elaborate, real conversation never bores me, exchanging meaningless pleasantries are a waste of time.)

13.   What is your number one pet peeve?

Loud chewing, chewing with mouth open, loud/nasally breathing, and lies told to make oneself look “cooler”.

14.   What are your ambitions for life?

I’d like to be the same person that I look for. So, basically, remain true to myself and never get lost in the materialistic, political hubbub that all-too-often consumes us.

15.   If the whole world were listening, what would you say?

STOP, BREATHE, AND PICK UP A BOOK.

Given that there are almost 7 billion human beings on the planet, isn’t the concept of finding “the one” immediately refuted by the fact that, over your entire lifetime, you will most likely only meet/interact with maybe a two-thousandth of one percent of the total global population?

Agree or disagree. Just something to ponder. Let me know what you think.

I may be sleeping on the couch tonight…

Thank you for connecting,

Cooper

[Image courtesy of kanyakirana.Deviantart.com]

Those words you wrote,

The words I read,

You bled between the lines,

I’m a slow learner, stubborn you know,

Of course you knew,

Wordsmiths, we were,

You knew I’d catch bloodletting,

In the inflections once I reflect,

Notes we wrote when the world disappeared,

They didn’t outlast life,

But I held on to the one I recently read,

You were a great writer,

Much better than I,

You’ll deny, I know this about you,

Behind the text,

Behind the disguise,

The research,

The creativity,

When the vice downgraded to habit,

And habit to memory,

You kept your promise for no contact,

Your will I never doubt,

My will, wishy-washy,

I would have damaged us more,

The earth cracked,

I fell in,

Never to hear from you again,

You kept your word,

Now I keep mine,

We were never separate entities,

It just took me time,

I’m sorry I took a sledgehammer to your heart,

Pulled out your guts,

Vindictive as I was,

I meant more than I had done,

Wherever you are,

Whoever you are,

You’ve inspired me.

Mutual closure.  Full stop.

**This is the prologue to my Women’s Fiction, Romance, book.**

Just this morning I heard the news that the charismatic frontman of Jacksoul died of lung cancer at the age of 39.

It was only two years ago when the news broke out that he was almost killed in a car accident. He survived and was well enough to record a new album, Soulmate which is set to release just next week.

I couldn’t believe the news of his death. To survive a life-threatening accident and then to die of cancer is just the worst thing that can happen.

I was a bit younger when I first heard of Jacksoul. I recall being immediately impressed with the amazing range of Neale’s vocals, and the fusion of pop and R&B that made Jacksoul such a popular act.

Aside from his music, Neale was also known for his cool sense of fashion. He was named as one of the Toronto Star’s most fashionable people in the early 2000’s.

On behalf of all the writers here at Grayowl Point, I would like to send out my most sincere condolences to Haydain Neale’s friends and family.

 Resurrected, by jacksoul will forever be one of my favorite CD’s, for so many reasons.  Last night I came across a news item that lead singer, Haydain Neale passed away Sunday from lung cancer.  To say that I was shocked doesn’t even begin to explain it.

He was 39, and he leaves behind his wife and daughter, both who loved him well, in addition to many friends and colleagues. My wishes to all of you.

Haydain Neale was a rare talent, and will always have a special place in my heart, and my daughters.

 In July of 2004, I made a last-minute entry into what was then Z-95’s Jazz Festival contest, by battling wits against an American caller from down south. Half an hour later, I won the grand prize of a fantastic weekend package prize for the Jazz Festival. Included was a weekend- long, Lexus SUV rental, three luxury suites at a swanky downtown hotel, a $ 300.00 gift certificate to Granville Island Brewery restaurant,  a limited production Sandhill wine basket, and best of the best, tickets to see JackSoul live at the Centre for Performing Arts. There was nothing I did not love about Haydain Neale.I loved his  effortless style, his soothing sound, his easy way of making love out of musical notes with a voice that felt like it was stroking your skin like a lover should. He could take it from a wicked beat about a breakup gone bad to a lazy laying on the beach feel in a heartbeat, and it was effortless.

The weekend prize was beyond fabulous. We took the kids and another couple and had the most fantastic night out, and funny enough, we ran right into Haydain Neale in the lobby of the hotel as we arrived. I was gobsmacked to say the least , and while I was trying to play it cool, I was really just over the moon, as were my kids. My daughter who was 13 at the time, was a super-mega-crazy fan of his, and this was every teenagers dream! Ok, it was mine too…I admit it.

After the concert, Haydain was signing autographs in the lobby, and of course we went over and brought our CD’s. My daughter was so beside herself at seeing him face to fact that she couldn’t even speak, her eyes all sparkly with the moment and a grin from ear to ear.

I told Haydain what a huge fan she had always been of his, even before the latest big hits, as was I.  He was shocked that a girl that age was so into his music, and told her he had a daughter too, of nearly the same age. We chatted for a moment and he thanked her so genuinely for being his fan, and asked her if it would be alright if he gave her a hug.

You have no idea – I thought her legs would give out right then and there, but she held on and he kissed her cheek, then signed my CD for me as well :

 We waved goodbye and wished him well, and then, right there in front of all the concert goers in the hall, my13 year old daughter danced her happy dance all over the place, like no one was watching….

And Haydain ? He was laughing and smiling as only a father could have understood.

A moment we both remembered together last night as I phoned to tell her the news. ” No.” she said. ” He was getting better!” No one knew he had cancer as he fought back the long road from his accident a couple years ago. The family kept it private.

We spent some time together last night,my daughter and I, on our computers - her in her dorm room, and myself here at my office, planning to get his new album that is being released December 1st, and listening to the first single release, Lonesome Highway. Proceeds of the new album will go the Haydain Neale family trust.

It’s remarkably sad that he never made it. He was, such a wonderful talent, and a remarkable soul.

But as I was going through my CD cover this morning, touching the words he wrote inside, I came across something important that he wrote to his band in the thanks you’s to everyone:

” What we do is important. We give people a reason to believe in things like faith, hope and love. Music is the true healer of the soul. It is never too tired to listen and console, always there to understand and counsel. It offers painless treatment and passes no judgement. All this with a few melodies over some dirty grooves. Keep on, keepn’ on, ma bredren. There’s much to do before we cross the Jordon.”

I hope the view from the other side of the river is just fine, Haydain. Peace.

ini nih nak tasik yang slalu nyemangatin dalam seneng maupun susah..

nama nya adhella krisnasari.biasa dipanggil adel..

hehehe

It’s one of these nights I need to talk about him. Again.
I’m sorry.
But you know what, I’m sick of this…planet. This world. I can’t stand another minute of being here and now. My dreams. That’s what’s ruined me.
Why did I have to be so over-natural?
Why did I have to dream…?
As I’ve stated before (see: When Did My Heart Go Missing) I’ve been having really weird dreams. Alive dreams. With him. What is he?
I came to the conclusion that he is my “soulmate”.
If that’s what I can call it.
God…it’s hard.
I know I will never be happy with normality.
All my relationships are ruined because of me looking for him in every breath, in every single moment. I miss him.
And there’s no way I can find him.
I’ve tried everything there is to communicate.
But no.
Seems that even my only talent, to search into people’s minds has shrunk with time. I want to do that again.
Sometime.
People around the world move objects with their minds, hypnotize, make things happen…. Generaly… Supernatural things. [I'm tired.]
[Can't be coherent.]
Why can’t I find my gift again?
Why did I have to overthink it?
Now I’ve lost him.
And I’m more alone than I ever was in my entire life.
Because a part of my soul is missing.
Dammit.
Drama queen all over again.
Don’t mind me.
I’ll go to sleep.
Nothing makes sense.
Nothing is worth it when I’m awake. Sleeping should be my only option. And maybe someday death. If I find the courage.
That I won’t.
Because I’m too curious for what’s gonna happen.
And because I love.
People. Around me.
I wouldn’t do that to them, right…?

Sleep.
Goodnight.

-Free…?

Mate Soulmate SPDP  

Short Fiction – A Tasty Story

By

VIKRAM KARVE

Pune. Fergusson College Road. Vaishali Restaurant. 5 PM on a Sunday evening.

Crowded. Crammed full. Jam-packed. All tables occupied chock-a-block. Aisles teeming with people waiting with watchful eyes for signs of someone finishing their refreshments.

Suddenly I see a woman waving to me, beckoning me with her hand. Her face seems familiar – oh yes, she is Ravi’s wife. She is sitting all alone on a table for two with a half eaten masala dosa in front of her.

I walk towards her and give her a smile.

“Sit down, sit down,” she says to me, gesturing with her hand towards the empty chair opposite her, “Sit down here with me, otherwise you will have to wait for hours.”

I sit down opposite her and say, “Thanks.”

She summons a waiter and orders peremptorily, “SPDP.”

“Two?” the waiter asks.

“No, one SPDP for Madam,” she says pointing to the empty plate in front of me without even bothering to ask me, then she pauses for a moment and tells the waiter, “and get one Kachori for me.”

Before I can recover my wits, she says, “You like SPDP don’t you? Ravi told me.”

“Yes, I love the SPDP at Vaishali. In fact I come all the way here every Sunday…”

“To spend the day reading in the library opposite followed by an SPDP at Vaishali,” she completes my sentence.

“Ravi told you all this?”

“Of course. He’s told me everything about you. Ravi admires you so much, he always talks about you.”

“Really? But he never tells me anything about you.”

“What’s there to tell? I am only his housewife, you are his office wife.”

“Come on. Please don’t say that. There is nothing like that between me and Ravi. We are just colleagues – workmates…”

“Workmates?” Ravi’s wife interrupts, and then says with a hint of sarcasm, “I think you are his true soulmate – and I am only his mate!”

I am struck dumb, feel a bit uneasy, but suddenly the plate of SPDP is kept in front of me, so I look down and begin to eat.

“I’m sorry,” she says, “Don’t get angry. I was just teasing. I want you to be Ravi’s friend. He likes you so much. That’s why he is so happy in office and doing so well in his work.”

I stop eating; look up at her vacuously, wondering what to say.

“Ravi appreciates you so much he even brings you home to me every evening in his thoughts and talks…that’s why I wanted to meet you.”

“We’ve met before…”

“Only once, that too only an introduction, at the Office Annual Day get-together…we are hardly married for three months, you know, and you all are so busy, with your targets and all, so I decided to meet you, talk to you, get to know you better, make a friendship…”

“You mean…”

“Yes, I contrived this coincidence. I came to the library also, but you were so busy browsing that I did not want to disturb you, so I waited here in Vaishali knowing you would surely come for your SPDP.”

“You’re not eating your Kachori,” I say, trying to change the direction of the conversation.

“Here, you eat,” she says pushing her untouched plate of Kachori and katori of whipped curds towards me, “I am all full – I ate an Uttapam, Idli-Vada Sambar, god-knows-what, waiting for you to come…”

She leans forward and casually picks up a Sev Potato Dahi Puri from my plate, pops into her mouth and says, “Wow. I love the chatpata flavour of SPDP – you call it Umami taste or something – that’s what you told Ravi, isn’t it?”

“I think I’ll go now,” I say, feeling distinctly uncomfortable, making up my mind to have a long talk with Ravi the moment I meet him in the morning at work.

“No, no, don’t go, I want to show you something.”

“Show me something?”

“Yes, that’s why I came all the way here to meet you.”

We finish the SPDP and Kachori, I insist on paying the bill, she doesn’t object too much, and then she takes me to the drapery section of the Shopping Mall nearby.

“We are furnishing our new house,” she says, pointing at the curtain cloth on display.

I look at her clueless.

“I like yellow, you like blue, and since you have told him about the aesthetic cool tranquil beauty of the blue colour, Ravi is besotted with everything blue – blue shirts, blue trousers, blue table-covers, blue bed-sheets, blue napkins, the sober blue everything that you make him buy…”

I look furtively and self-consciously at the blue dress I am wearing, and say, “Okay, tell me which curtains you like.”

She points to a bright yellow floral print and says, “I like that one, I love yellow, so lively and cheerful… I hate sober gloomy colours, especially blue, it depresses me.”

Next morning at the office, Ravi says to me, “Hey, keep yourself free in the evening. We’ll go to Deccan for some shopping. You’ve got to help me select curtains for our new home. Then we’ll have SPDP at Vaishali.”

“Sure, Ravi, I’ll love to come with you,” I say.

Now I’ve got till evening to decide one thing – which colour curtains should I tell Ravi to buy – Yellow Curtains or Blue Curtains?

VIKRAM KARVE

 Copyright © Vikram Karve 2009

Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com 

http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve 

Appetite for a Stroll

vikramkarve@sify.com

I want a lady who got a great mind, who’s one of a kind. Everytime I see her ima say damn she fine. And when she saw me for the first time she thought shorty is mine. Its gonna be a fairy tale like Once Upon A Time, I thought love was blind, till I got on my grind, went to a mine, now I got me a dime and now everything is fine. All we do is dine and have fine wine. Everything gonna be perfect no flashing warning sign. Our love is gonna be explosive like we stepped on a mine. Something kinda endless standing till the end of time. So strong you could call it a vine. And happiness comes in due time. I call her a thief, she showed me the blue line. And kept my gift from God for the months I think it was nine.

Let it be known,

let the rumors be spread:

I want a good friend
to share my bread

I’m asking the angels
I know they can hear this
I know they’ve got tools
to engineer it

I know that she’s out there
like a pearl buried deep
in the crooked flesh of the world
a polished soul,
formed from irritation
finding resolution
in a final life
of peace and play

I know we’ll get along
I’ve seen traces of her face
at recess, all in blue
(she always sat alone)
with eyes like the buddha
and a smile like moonstone
who never spoke her mind
until asked
and never judged
but always laughed

I’ve seen her in the hall at school
and on the train to work:
just a flash of grinning mischief
and inscrutable reserve

I’ve seen her on a ferry
and sometimes in the sky
her name is hiding in the clouds
that lazily pass by

She glows in my soul
like an unborn twin:
I see her now and then,
and I’ll find her again

an aggregate of glimpses
into my perfection
I need her now,
I’m seeking her direction

I know she needs me too,
though I can’t fathom why
She’s perfect as she is
She doesn’t have to try

An effortless unfolding
of wonder and silence:
we can walk through the park
and talk about science

and it won’t be strange
to say how I’ve missed her
though this love is so simple
I won’t always kiss her

so angels, hear my plea tonight
I don’t like to beg
but I’m living tight
my life has a lot
but it needs this one thing

I just want that girl
with the smile like the sphinx
and the lazy ease of earned privelege
and the mind without hindrance
and the fingers spinning gold
in the lunar blinks
of her squinting gaze

to hold my hand
and walk the rest
of the way
with me.

© Sarah Noack 2006

Thank you G-d for listening.

I’m writing this post because so many well-meaning, conscious, spiritual people are missing some significant information and tools when it comes to Law of Attraction and being a conscious cocreator of your life with Spirit.

One of my wonderful Facebook friends recently wrote a post:

“If you examine your history, you cannot help but repeat it! Law of Attraction says it is so:

‘Whatever I am looking at, I am including in my vibration.’ — Abraham”

This sparked a controversy with 19 people weighing in, many fully agreeing and many others, myself included, objecting to this as an oversimplification and stating that, even though it is true that our focus does permeate our vibration and thus create, it is actually NECESSARY to understand and heal our past in order to learn what we need to from it and be able to truly free ourselves from its hold on us and move on into something even better.

We have to put our attention on our intention BUT if we are not aligned strongly and consistently enough with our intention, if we are trying really hard to make it happen but it’s just not working, that’s a sure sign we need to do some inner healing work before we do any more manifesting and attracting and creating. It’s inner, not, outer time, first.

I feel so strongly that so many New Age, metaphysical folks are so hyped up about positive thinking and “just focus on what you want,” they are missing something vital:

For most people, with most long-term issues, simply striving to be positive and focus on their intentions is NOT enough to bring about the desired results. We need to learn from our past, and use that wisdom to create our best future, while living in and enjoying the present.

So here I go on my soap box again.

The Abraham work and all the other good Law of Attraction stuff out there is not intended to be interpreted as “Ladeeda, we can just be positive 100% of the time and only good things will come to us. All that yucky stuff from the past – I’m done with that now and all I have to do is think good thoughts and I will attract all my desires. Abracadabra!”

So allow me to bust that myth and empower you with a much more in-depth and practical approach:

1- Our past is important. Just as our current emotions are indicators of the distance between where we are at and where we want to be, our past is one of our teachers as well. We can – and indeed need to – turn our wounds into wisdom. Some of our life experiences we may label “good” or “positive,” we feel we were successful and these we can apply to continue to utilize and build upon what worked for us, while the so-called “negative” experiences or failures are also useful in several ways.

For one thing, we can clarify more clearly what, exactly we DO want by contrasting it with what we do NOT want anymore. This applies equally well to health and lifestyle choices, work, home, community, as well as relationships.

Secondly, we can learn psychologically and spiritually: What was my lesson in this?

Thirdly,we can discover, with proper reflection, which may include prayer, meditation, journaling, counseling, or even insightful conversations, that there was truly a silver lining, a gift in every experience we have had. Sometimes we don’t see it at the time, it feels horrible, we may even be devastated that that relationship or career didn’t work out, that we had that disability or lost our house, but ultimately, when we see through the eyes of Spirit and Love, we will always find that everything happened for a reason and we can find something to be grateful for, even if it’s just the ability to make a different choice next time.

2- Until we learn our lessons from the past, we are going to UNCONSCIOUSLY repeat them. This is true of humanity when we look at larger societal choices as well as on the personal level. Ignoring our past and zapping it like it didn’t even happen is not the solution. In fact, ignoring our past and stuffing it over there, oh, that’s too messy, I don’t want to deal with that right now, does not free us from it, it actually dooms us to repeat it.

3- The Abraham work says that our DOMINANT thought is the one that runs the show, and I agree with this. The catch is: Our dominant thought is seldom a conscious thought, so we cannot expect to simply push a button and “There, I’m only going to think good thoughts, feel good feelings and make good choices from now on.”

We have to heal all those billions of subconscious beliefs that we are carrying around which arose out – what? Our past experiences and programming, of course.

I do agree that many people spend far too much time simply repeating their “story,” which actually keeps them stuck in it and keeps giving it energy. There is a big difference between looping an old version of a reality we no longer want, whining about it, being a drama king/queen, vs. actually being willing to visit the past (with support if necessary) with the intention of looking in the mirror, releasing what no longer serves, with forgiveness, finding the lesson and gift in it, and moving confidently forward into a better life we are creating for ourselves, from the inside out.

Do we need to look at our past? Absolutely.Do we need to keep telling it over and over? Absolutely not.

4- We need to process stuck emotions. Sometimes we need to move some rage. Shake off some old energy. Sometimes we need to express ourselves to someone, forgive, be forgiven, and it doesn’t matter if they’re alive or dead or whether their human self is willing to hear a word we are saying. We just talk to their Higher Self, soul to soul. We look in the mirror and show them a mirror as well. I have an extensive guided meditation and energy healing journey that I guide people through called the Healing Past Relationships Journey (soon to be available as a CD/MP3 audio) which facilitates this soul-to-soul communication, energy exchange, forgiveness and healing. Or you may be able to do it for yourself, perhaps by writing a letter or through ceremony. We need to visit our past just enough to learn from it and to heal it, not rehash it or keep talking about it for decades.

We also need to forgive ourselves. And forgive God!

The work I do as an energy healer, intuitive, hypnotherapist and life coach focuses on identifying the current condition of your Body, Mind, Heart and Soul and creating a complete, intuitively guided healing program that empowers you to remember who you really are, to love and heal yourself completely, and to clarify your vision and reawaken your passion, power and life purpose — to create the life and love of your dreams. I am a Law of Attraction coach, and people often begin working with me when they realize (see with Real Eyes) that they are working so dang hard on themselves, have been for years, yet something is still stuck. They are willing, finally, to do what it takes to really succeed, so we go places, often in the first session, that completely amazes them.

5- We need to heal core issues and heal on all levels.

For example, some of my recent clients have improved their relationships, found lasting love, launched their heart-centered business, created more harmony in their parenting or other family relationships…..In every case, we needed to do some deep CORE ISSUE healing at the level of the SOUL and the ENERGY FIELD, the kind of healing that is more difficult to do by one’s self when we are emotionally caught up in our “stuff,” scared, frustrated and depleted.

I do sometimes have clients who try to turn the sessions into talk therapy and keep going on and on about their problems. They are stuck in their story. So I ask them, “Do you want to talk about it or do you want to heal it?” If they keep wanting to talk about it, they are not ready for the kind of healing I do. If they want to heal it, I can help them heal themselves but we have to go much deeper than just talking. Deep omnidimensional energy healing at the soul level i.e. soul retrieval, regression, rebirthing, hypnotherapy/NLP, ceremony, forgiveness work, can be extremely helpful, especially if a person is unable to break free of an old belief/energy. We shift the energy & belief at the original cause and core. I channel empowering self-healing techniques they can do on their own to continue the healing and keep building the positive energy.

We don’t ever have to be 100% healed, nor is that even possible so long as we are human. But we need to be healed enough to be free to focus on what we do want, move forward and create from an aligned, clear, positive state of being and love.

6- ALIGN, ATTRACT, ACT.

People so caught up in the Law of Attraction who simply read a few books, go to a few workshops, watch a couple of movies, often fail to understand that trying to get into ACTION mode before you are ALIGNED does not work. Law of Attraction works – once we are aligned with our desires. If some part of our subconscious mind or energy field is still playing the tape of a limiting, negative belief, we are not going to be able to just attract what we want, no matter how many affirmations we say or vision boards we make!

7 – I want to make one more point about the past and this concept of time. We can only live in one time: the present. We need to heal and learn from our past and draw upon its power, we need to envision and align with our best future, and yet we can only live right here, right now. All times exist in this moment of choice: now.

I personally feel we need to spend MOST of our attention right here, where we live. In this body. On this planet. Enjoying this life to the fullest. Mindful. Heartful. Soulful. Bodyful. Beautiful! When we work with the concept of time as fluid and simultaneous and quantum rather than linear, we find that every moment is a portal home.

We can also change our past shamanically, redream it. This helps us create our best future as well. This can be done through shamanic trance healing and/or conscious dreaming.

We each have the power to facilitate miraculous healing and success beyond our wildest imagination. We don’t have to spend years healing the past. We can heal it in an instant, or it may take several months or longer, but if we go deep enough and work at the level of the soul, core beliefs and original causes, the quantum and cosmic fields and on all levels, if we do this work with a vibration of love for ourselves and all beings, we will grow into being who we came here to be.

I love the Abraham work but sometimes a phrase taken by itself does not present the complexities of the spiritual nature of the Universe. True healing and conscious creation of our lives will always involve navigating the territory of our past with loving kindness and forgivness, with an open mind and a willingness to learn and grow so we can create an even better future. And we can do this today.

If you would like more information about Omnidimensional Healing of Core Issues blended with intuitive life coaching, and a free Special Report on Law of Attraction Graduate School – Abundance Affirmations with Ooompf!, please visit my main website at:

www.LoveandSpirit.org.

Cinta itu seperti kupu-kupu. Tambah dikejar, tambah lari. Tapi kalau dibiarkan terbang, dia akan datang disaat kamu tidak mengharapkannya.

Cinta dapat membuatmu bahagia tapi sering juga bikin sedih, tapi cinta baru berharga kalau diberikan kepada seseorang yang menghargainya.

Jadi jangan terburu-buru dan pilih yang terbaik.

Cinta bukan bagaimana menjadi pasangan yang “sempurna” bagi seseorang. Tapi bagaimana menemukan seseorang yang dapat membantumu menjadi dirimu sendiri.

Jangan pernah bilang “I love you” kalau kamu tidak perduli.

Jangan pernah membicarakan perasaan yang tidak pernah ada.

Jangan pernah menyentuh hidup seseorang kalau hal itu akan menghancurkan hatinya.

Jangan pernah menatap matanya kalau semua yang kamu lakukan hanya berbohong.

Hal paling kejam yang seseorang lakukan kepada orang lain adalah membiarkannya jatuh cinta, sementara kamu tidak berniat untuk menangkapnya…

Cinta bukan “Ini salah kamu”, tapi “Ma’afkan aku”. Bukan “Kamu dimana sih?”, tapi “Aku disini”. Bukan “Gimana sih kamu?”, tapi “Aku ngerti kok”. Bukan “Coba kamu gak kayak gini”, tapi “Aku cinta kamu seperti kamu apa adanya”.

Kompatibilitas yang paling benar bukan diukur berdasarkan berapa lama kalian sudah bersama maupun berapa sering kalian bersama, tapi apakah selama kalian bersama, kalian selalu saling mengisi satu sama lain dan saling membuat hidup yang berkualitas.

Kesedihan dan kerinduan hanya terasa selama yang kamu inginkan dan menyayat sedalam yang kamu ijinkan.

Yang berat bukan bagaimana caranya menanggulangi kesedihan dan kerinduan itu, tapi bagaimana belajar darinya.

Caranya jatuh cinta: jatuh tapi jangan terhuyung-huyung, konsisten tapi jangan memaksa, berbagi dan jangan bersikap tidak adil, mengerti dan cobalah untuk tidak banyak menuntut, sedih tapi jangan pernah simpan kesedihan itu.

Memang sakit melihat orang yang kamu cintai sedang berbahagia dengan orang lain tapi lebih sakit lagi kalau orang yang kamu cintai itu tidak berbahagia bersama kamu.

Cinta akan menyakitkan ketika kamu berpisah dengan seseorang lebih menyakitkan apabila kamu dilupakan oleh kekasihMu, tapi cinta akan lebih menyakitkan lagi apabila seseorang yang kamu sayangi tidak tahu apa yang sesungguhnya kamu rasakan.

Yang paling menyedihkan dalam hidup adalah menemukan seseorang dan jatuh cinta, hanya untuk menemukan bahwa dia bukan untuk kamu dan kamu sudah menghabiskan banyak waktu untuk orang yang tidak pernah menghargainya.

Kalau dia tidak “worth it” sekarang, dia tidak akan pernah “worth it” setahun lagi ataupun 10 tahun lagi.

Biarkan dia pergi…

Discover The Closely Guarded Secrets Of Your Mind Power, Remote Influence Techniques To Attract Health, Wealth, Love and Happiness Faster Than You Ever Dreamed Possible.

https://paydotcom.com/r/85808/Nita77/26000589/

Μερικές φορές η ζωή επιλέγει απλά να σου χτυπήσει την πόρτα. Άλλες, αυτό που θα αντικρίσει κανείς αν ανοίξει, είναι η τύχη. Γεγονότα τυχαία συμβαίνουν παντού. Στις ταινίες, στην τηλεόραση, στα βιβλία. Ναι, και στην πραγματική ζωή. Σπάνια. Στην δική μου ζωή, αν και σύντομη, δεν είχα ποτέ τύχη. Συγκεκριμένα, δεν θυμάμαι να υπήρχε κάποτε χαρά. Ήταν απλά μια λέξη που είχα συναντήσει σε κάποιο βιβλίο. Κάποια στιγμή, πριν από λιγότερο από δυο δεκαετίες γεννήθηκα. Κάποια στιγμή, λίγο αργότερα μεγάλωσα. Ακόμα μεγαλώνω. Δεν ξέρω, όμως αν ωρίμασα, ή όχι. Όπως και με όλους τους ανθρώπους, έτσι και με εμένα, άλλες φορές, κάποιοι με έβλεπαν ως πολύ ώριμη για την ηλικία μου, και άλλοι διαπίστωναν με αυτό το χαρακτηριστικό σπαστικό χαμόγελο που ουρλιάζει σιωπηλά «είναι χαζή» (πόσο την μισώ αυτή την λέξη) πως η συμπεριφορά μου ήταν ανώριμη. Και με απέκλειαν από αυτό που ονόμαζαν ζωή τους. Κάποια στιγμή θα πεθάνω. Ένα σκοτάδι μας φτύνει, και ένα ακόμα πιο τρομερό σκοτάδι μας καταπίνει. Η Άγνοια. Το Τίποτα. Και ανάμεσα, αναγκαζόμαστε να τρίψουμε τα ματάκια μας, και να σταθούμε στα ποδαράκια μας, κοιτώντας με δέος, φόβο και απέχθεια τριγύρω μας. Από το φως. Ακόμα διαφωνούμε για το αν είναι καλό. Από την μία, μας ανοίγει τα μάτια, και μας λέει, εδώ είναι η ζωή. Αρπάξτε την. Από την άλλη μας την δείχνει. Με όλες τις μη απαραίτητες, ζωτικές λεπτομέρειες. Πάντα φανταζόμουν τον εαυτό μου σαν ένα σύννεφο. Δεν ήμουν ο ουρανός. Ούτε τα ενοχλητικά αστέρια. Πόσο μάλλον το φεγγάρι, και ο ήλιος. Ήμουν το σύννεφο. Αυτό, ειδικά, που δεν μοιάζει με τίποτα. Μόνο με σύννεφο. Όχι με λαγουδάκι ή γουρουνάκι. Ούτε καν με συννεφάκι. Με σύννεφο. Γκρι. Μέρος του σκηνικού, και όχι το σκηνικό το ίδιο. Ένα σύννεφο ούτε άξιο να νευριάσουν μαζί του όσοι κάνουν ηλιοθεραπεία, ούτε άξιο για να του γράψουν ποιήματα αυτοί που αγαπούν το σκοτάδι. Δεν ξέρω αν ήμουν καλός άνθρωπος. Άλλωστε, το καλό και το κακό είναι πάντα σχετικά, και πράξεις που από τον ένα θεωρούνται δίκαιες και σωστές, ο άλλος τις βλέπει άδικες και λάθος. Προσπαθούσα. Θεωρητικά. Είχα περάσει ολόκληρη την ζωή μου, από τότε που άρχισα να καταλαβαίνω τουλάχιστον τον κόσμο γύρω μου, με ένα βιβλίο στο χέρι, ψάχνοντας για απαντήσεις σε ερωτήματα που δεν μπορούσα να θέσω. Μακριά από τον κόσμο, και μακριά από τον άνθρωπο. Και υπήρχαν βράδια που έπιανα τον εαυτό μου να αναρωτιέται για αυτό που είναι. Οι απαντήσεις που έβρισκα δεν ήταν ποτέ αρκετές. Τι ήξερα. Μόνο το όνομα μου. Και το ότι είμαι ένας κόκκος άμμου σε μια τεράστια ακρογιαλιά. Και που έφτασα; Στο πουθενά. Η ιστορία ενδιάμεσα είναι όμως αυτή που μετράει στο τέλος. Στην αναζήτηση για τον τελικό προορισμό μας, αυτό που θα κρατήσει για πάντα είναι η ιστορία.

Argh! It’s almost 4am in the morning and I just cannot sleep.

What to do? If this continues, I’ll be dead in no time.

In the past, I loved to sleep, loved to eat alot. Now I can’t even cry myself to sleep. I don’t even have appetite for food.

I’m just like a wanderless soul, waiting for someone kind enough to pick me home. Care for me, treat me like a child. LOL!

God. If there’s a soulmate for everyone, when will I meet her who truly belongs to me?

Maybe I don’t belong here. I’m a dreamer and people here are too realistic. 

Nobody will like to be with a dreamer, because everyday is a mystery.

Worship is a small word with a big meaning…
it is what is something divine.
But can one worship a human…

Yes  ! why not if we can do so for a unseen God
Why not a human who is essentially human and who directly acts
whose acts one can see and adore.

A human full of values,
a human who is sympathetic,
Who knows to work, who believes in Karma
Who respects emotions
Who is full of compassion
Who has the Virtue And the valour
Who helps when it is most required.

To whom it is viable to make offering…

I want one such human whom I can call “LORD”
To bestow my life in his feet.
To see through those clear honest sparkling eyes.

To follow the footsteps towards the new horizon.
To be worthy to hold His finger
And led by him towards Life …
A life full of enlightenment
A life leading towards ecstasy

This very soul is
So incomplete without the LORD.
Am I able to get this in this birth?
Or I need to take a birth again.

I created this blog to log my psychic and spiritual experiences, so I thought it would be interesting to share them here on the web. It would also be a neat way for me to see my progress and how much I grow when I look back at in the future.

Why the name HimeAiRyo? Well, my instincts tells me that Hime means Princess, Ai means Love, and Ryo represents the name of my Twinflame. Whom, I believe is looking for me as it’s one of those thoughts that I’m having issues with ignoring. I have wrote down a ton of ideas of who I think he is, where I think he comes from, and what his situation is now. Yes I do believe he’s from Japan, and I believe that he has been having trouble getting along with his father. He doesn’t want to deal with an arranged marriage so he turns to his mother for help who also is a sensitive. Therefore, they’re doing their best to come to the united states to meet me. I have an idea when, but I’m not sure. My gut feeling is telling me that I have it right so far. So we’ll see what happens, and hopefully I’m doing it right. xD Either way, when I was younger, I had a weird realization about my twinflame being Japanese, and I thought about it ever since. It’s a really strong feeling too. If this is true, it would explain a lot especially for how I am very strongly drawn to the Japanese culture.