Here are your top played Arcade games for the last week, based on unique users on Xbox LIVE across ANZ. Tomorrow we’ll see the different between what you’re playing and what you’re buying.

1. Trials HD
2. Call of Duty Classic
3. Battlefield 1943
4. Gyromancer
5. UNO
6. Hexic HD
7. Castle Crashers
8. SOUTH PARK LET’S GO TOWER DEFENSE PLAY!
9. Peggle
10. Zombie Apocalypse

Love seeing Trials HD with such staying power. It justifies my own habit.

- jinx

Los Angeles, California (CNN) — The beating of 12-year-old boy by a group of classmates at a Southern California middle school may be linked to a Facebook posting encouraging kids to target redheads, authorities say.

The redheaded boy was beaten up by a group of seventh and eighth graders at A.E. Wright Middle School in Calabasas in two separate incidents Friday, according to a statement released Sunday by the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department.

A Facebook page stating that Friday was “Kick a Ginger Day,” referring to redheads and possibly inspired by an episode of the “South Park” series, may have sparked the injuries at the middle school, authorities said.
For the full article go to:  http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/11/22/california.redhead.attack.facebook/index.html

$2500 grand prize for the winner. Nice bonus for your day after Thanksgiving shopping spree. If you are interested in registering please contact Chris Parisi at 703-929-5374.

Stannade hemma från skolan en dag extra, för att känna att jag ska vara 100% imorgon liksom!
Känns som om att jag har ett sår i halsen efter allt hostande? Kan man ha det tro?

Helgen var trevlig, på fredagen gjorde jag ju ingenting… Men på lördagen stod jag på gymnasiemässan hela dagen tillsammans med Ronny, Teten och Alexander! Det var kul, fastän jag vart lite otaggad mot slutet eftersom jag var sjuk…

Efter det åkte jag hem till Natta, vi började föra och göra oss snygga inför kvällen.  Vi skulle egentligen äta på friday’s, men vi hade tvingat med oss Ronny i sista sekunden, och han är ju för ung för att komma in där + att det var typ en timmas väntelista på ett bord, så det vart en jättemysig restaurang som heter Victoria som ligger i kungsträdgården. Dom hade verkligen supergod mat där, måste gå dit fler gånger! Personalen var skittrevlig och allt, ja, bara plus där!

Sedan åkte Ronny hem och vi drog på Bandit Unsigned! Där var även Alexander, eftersom hans kusins band spelade. Det var fullsmockat där inne, kul och tråkigt på samma gång. Natta hade världens jävla porrklackar också, så hon behövde verkligen sitta ned då och då så vi valde tillslut att åka till Sjätte tunnan i gamla stan. Där vet vi ju att det alltid är lugnt och finns sittplats liksom. Efter det drog vi direkt hem!

Idag vet jag inte riktigt vad som står på schemat! Inte speciellt mycket antar jag. Boka kryssning kanske? Natta? Vi ska ju på kryssning på torsdag… Nattas 20års kryssning! Ska bli awesome!

Nu blir det south park, over and out!

America Online, the premiere company in the field of falling off the map, has apparently taken steps to once again have a paying customer.  In what I feel to be a baffling move, CEO Tim Armstrong released a press statement the night of Sunday, November 23, mentioning the new rebranding from AOL to Aol. and how the company is working hard to be relevant in some capacity, yet completely failed to mention all the CDs they used to snail mail to every person in America twice a month, or how they pretty much are why the company sucked in the first place.  I mean, who wants to get Version 6.00.8100 in the mail when Version 6.00.8055 isn’t capable of upgrading from the internet itself.  “This isn’t any good.  I don’t want it.” is what you and everyone else said.  Can the company do the impossible and not be a dusty relic on your ancient Gateway desktop?  No they can’t, but click on the sad goldfish, or here, to read more.  Oh, and take note of the other logos which are hysterical.  (story: The Business Insider)

Gabrielle Boni, actress and major hottie.

In other news, “Redhead beaten on ‘Kick a Ginger Day’”.  I don’t quite understand, because, as you can see to the right, being redheaded is hot and über desirable (the wonderful young lady is Gabrielle Boni, and she needs to call me because I have an acting job for her, for real).  The story, out of Los Angeles, California, involves a ginger kid who had the stuffing kicked out of him by groups of 7th and 8th graders for simply being of awesome heritage.  When investigated it was found to be an organized plot against potato chewing mofos like me (I’m only red in spirit) with word of the day being spread via Facebook.  Apparently the fake holiday was created by Comedy Central show and boat of undeserved praise and fandom, South Park.  Not surprisingly the type of people to watch the show are also the type to beat the shit out of innocent people because of a fake holiday, hence the fact they got the idea from the show.  Do you know what I think?  Of course not, but I’ll tell you- the last line in the article, found here, is “Police are now investigating whether assault charges can be laid.” and I feel as though they better hurry the hell up and throw cases at those kids, because what they did constitutes a racial “hate crime” (the stealing of food aside, every crime is a hate crime so the name is just really stupid) and that kid and his parents should sue until all things college related are funded.  I mean, I’ve never been to LA County or anything, but I seriously doubt that redheaded kids are roaming the streets causing havoc, mayhem, or any sort of disturbances that necessitate a mob of citizens and poor towns folk to neutralize.  I could be wrong though, because gingers do like to be mischievous.  Mainly when they’ve been drinking, though, so unless that kid was leaned on some Everclear, the cops better step up and uphold the law equally for everyone.  (story: MSN NZ)

Here’s the next podcast of the Celtic Rebel v/w Stygian Port “Dinner With Andros” series [in stereo]. Technically, it is the show prior to the last, so when we say things like “last time,” we are referring to a podcast that you’ve yet to hear. Clear as mud? Don’t worry, it will get even more confusing after we release the next one.

This one doesn’t require as much of a “warning” as the last, and should offend far fewer people. Still, I wouldn’t recommend cranking it out of your car stereo, as it will undoubtedly result in the cool kids not inviting you to their parties anymore.

If you are still offended in any manner, please address all vitriol to “ViolatoR” at Stygian Port. He won’t mind. I’ve advised him that “editing,” grants me the power of making him sound like more of an asshole than me [it's possible].

Fans of Stygian Port expecting more of his Ed McMahon’ish color commentator to my Johnny Carson, are in for a pleasant surprise. He really comes out of his shell in this one, getting dangerously close to full-blown “Chatty Cathy” mode. Note what follows him saying, “I don’t really have anything add about the anus.” Anyway, it was nice to see/hear. Feel free to encourage him. Here’s the download link.

If you haven’t heard my fellow Jesuit Coadjutor Jordan Maxwell’s Project Camelot interview, well it’s worth a listen. {*1} As for Jones, I think the below image pretty much sums him up. I’ve spoken my peace regarding Bermas & The Infowarriors.

Didn’t realize Danny Boyle (of 28 Days) was involved in this “independent” foreign film “phenomenon” Slumdog Millionaire. Where’s that vomit emoticon when you need it? The Luciferean promotion business is old hat for Danny. Discussed clip:

Condoms came up last issue too [relevant/important enough to link the image again]. Sorry, it’s beyond irritating for me to hear fools repeat and propagate the slave wisdom of their indoctrination. Here’s a good rule of thumb: if you learned it, were taught it, or heard it, without researching it for yourself, it’s bullshit.

The above [right] shot is from Wanted (2008), and coincidentally, the guy buying them is the complete idiot the protagonist tires of early on. Probably for the best I didn’t see “hippie chick” again. Inevitably, we’d have had to have the dreaded “condom” conversation. Idiots who’ve been conditioned to believe they’re aware and intelligent tend to cling dearly to their indoctrinated belief systems [B.S.]. Thus, I’d very likely have ended up violating her rear entrance, just out of spite (think of it as a “poor man’s life extension technology”).

The referred to Futurama “Godfellas” episode is also worth a view. Just don’t fall into the [programmed] trap of assuming Groenig and company are talking about this nebulous white-bearded God/Dog character and it will make a lot more sense.

For those who haven’t read my entire body of work, the idea of who/what Lucy Fur is, starts here. The discussed mysterious e-mail, arrived in my inbox two hours before publication of my conclusion regarding the lady in question. As for the “fear” tactic, it was a really weird drop during an interview as soon as I mentioned Lucy, followed by some faint far-off sound of a dungeon door closing. Yea, [more] weird/spooky shit. Nothing “new.”

I can’t recall the name of she who spoke of a “fractal fence,” nor the commenter who appraised me of her lecture series. Chime in if you’re here. Speaking of cubing the cube, that Futurama episode (The Farnsworth Parabox) is also amazing:

My first exploration into the meaning of cubes is still relevant, and worth a read for any unfamiliar. I could do a whole analysis of the episode based on my personal growth and wisdom sense, but there’s more important things pending. {*2}

Of [extreme] interest, Matt Groening’s middle-name is “Abram.” The safe bet: not a coincidence. Farnsworth’s statement [below], pretty much cuts to the crux of our reality. For most of us, that god-damned box IS all that ever was or will be.

The Church plays it’s crucial role in the process, getting fools down on their knees to pray to the box that is their prison [contemplated/expanded]. The priest class has long laughed at the expense of the fools they indoctrinate with horse-crap disguised as religion. Relevant: Elvis Costello’s [included] “God’s Comic.”

“Deliver us from evil,” we pray/plead, ever-ignorant of just whom (or what) we are addressing, nor exactly what the hell we’re even asking for. Considering that religion IS ass-backwards and “evil” is the reverse of “live,” perhaps, we are begging to die ignorant and come right back into the box. Repeat.

Speaking of religion, got a good laugh out of the former [Godfellas] episode, when in his quest to find his lost friend, Frye went into the Amalgamated Church and asked, “Is there anything religion can do to help me find my friend?” By the way, the priest’s answer to the below conversation, was “No.” But laugh not too hard ye atheists, for the only person more ignorant than a “believer,” might be you.

I liked what Lenon Honor had to say on the subject of prayer in one of his video series. He views it as an “energy transference.” By “praying” to some gods we know little of, we feed them, and give them our power. As I’ve been saying, I’m done giving away my power to gods and men. I’m getting the fuck out of this box, and when I do, I’m gonna start taking some of that power back. The Gods better start praying they don’t meet me in the great beyond, lest I sodomize them.

Well, at least they, the hand-maidens of the gods, have a sense of humor; a sick twisted sense of humor, but funny nonetheless. It’s not a coincidence that the church below used the word Deliverance in their title [a movie about men fucking men up the ass]. Metaphorically, the priest class has long fucked their flock up the ass, while in some cases, literally fucking their children in said manner.

I thank Carolyn from Iconoclast Report and Josh from Global Reality for the “church bulletin” pics that I “borrowed.” Worth a laugh: an old [as the internet] list.

Speaking of ass-fucking, I had begun to wonder, some time ago, why Arnold grunts like a “stuck pig,” in EVERY SINGLE ONE of his early movies. Every single one. And it always seems to go on for an unbearably, and uncomfortably, long time.

Listening to the included [audio] clip from commando, free from the distraction of the hypnotizing and lying moving pictures on the screen, I think, makes it abundantly clear as to why. Again, as I surmised oh many times now, every element of cinematic craft/wizardry is scripted precisely, methodically and intentionally.

Based on his past, and my ventures into territory few dare venture [hence, why morons tend to dismiss me as "anally" obsessed], the questions yield answers. For one, the priest class chuckle as it reminds them of the time they spent with little Arnold. Two, they laugh their ass off at the dumb beer-swilling fag-bashing macho dudes in the audience who haven’t the slightest clue as to what they’re watching and eagerly submit/consent to the reprogramming of their mind.

“The individual is handicapped by coming face-to-face with a conspiracy so monstrous he cannot believe it exists.” — J. Edgar Hoover

That’s the quote Stygian Port referred to. Of relevance, in why most who call themselves “truthers will never ever understand the gay agenda, or even why they are who they are [cause, they "do what they want"]. Just this week, my sister reminded me of the South Park episode (“Goobacks“) where in order to change the future (the shape of things to come), the men choose to become gay en masse. Matter of factly, one character states, “We are trying to turn everyone gay so there are no future humans.” In the face of revelation, our laughter is our consent.

Adding to the musical train theme, from my youth, I recall all the media-fed zombie boys who boasted of “running the train” on some girl. Oh you silly boys: to properly form a train, each boxcar needs to be able to couple with the car in front of and behind it. If you don’t understand that yet, don’t worry, you will soon enough.

Stygian after previewing this asked about all the Train songs, and how many more I had. Answer: plenty more where those came from [and none are from the imbecile "run the train" genre]. For example: the Clash’s “Train in Vain” would now be relevant. Oh, and pay close attention to the “Jumping Someone Else’s Train” lyrics; they are equivalent to Howard Biel’s speech from the last podcast [3].

Hm, so train, outside of the last one bound for heaven, the one all you need is [blind] faith to board, also has multiple meanings. Aside from the rear-entry position favored by dogs, and the back-door method, favored by nearly everyone now, it also suggests to “indoctrinate/teach” as one might a pet, or a slave.

Formally defined: “to develop or form the habits, thoughts, or behavior of (a child or other person) by discipline and instruction.”

Thanks to B.L.Donnelly, who raised a good point about the propagation of mind-limiting propaganda, I feel I should start using the phrase “body energy field” instead of “Chakra System.” Who fathoms the potential of the hand? Indubitably, all general knowledge has been corrupted by the priest class, the servants of the vampiric overlords who’s very existence relies on keeping us forever in the box.

Likely not needing mention, if you haven’t already, please drop Jim Morrison, the one with a taste for the back doors of little boys from your list of idols humans. Next time you visit Paris, feel free to stomp on his grave. Wish I had. {*3}

Speaking of “chicken,” The Truman Show may just be worthy of an intimate exploration at some point. For now I’ll just point out a scene that someone really wanted the audience to notice. Carey runs into the twins and twice, the push his shoulder against the advertisement behind him, the camera focused on it.

Who’s the chicken in this situation? We are the chicken. We are the free-range slaves they are addressing (disuccsed in prior article, Statism is Dead vid reaches same conclusion). Just because we’re too blind [via conditioning] to see the chicken-wire, and too ignorant to know it exists, doesn’t mean it’s not there.

From our chicken cage, we go to Nick Cage (as I surmised before, he’s the new Kevin Bacon, connecting every actor to every movie). Though I wrote of National Treasure long ago, I wouldn’t necessarily recommend the article, I was but an infant then [in comparison to now]. Speaking of another Nick, the song “Oh Lucy” was done by none other than Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds. WTF! Synchronicity?

There’s our dear [¿hm, deer-hoof?] little Angelina Jolie making the V for Vagina sign. Alternately, the Luciferan gesture can be interpreted as “fuck me” or you’re welcome to come get a “piece.” Hm, now the jukebox is playing Elvis Costello crooning, “Get your mind off the sweet behind, of our little angel” [not included].

Further supporting the theory logical fact regarding the gender of “the adversary” is how the temptation of the Jesus is even by Church, ahem, Scholars, called the “Temptation of the Flesh.” Well, unless Jesus was a poofer [which he wasn't, another article in the queue], it’s a safe bet there was vagina and titties involved.

After hearing the Vaganally obsessed Prince sing his praise to “Little Nikki,” I can assume he had some inkling as to, at least, what color car she might drive and why she might “park her car sideways, cause it wouldn’t last” [more on that soon].

Speaking of Religion, has it occured to you this whole “Global Warming” hooplah is really just another Religion? Without any evidence, millions now believe something, on nothing other than faith (and some spurious parables/data) alone. Worth a laugh, Park’s “Goobacks” episode featured some idiot bringing up the topic and some “uneducated” redneck smashing his rhetoric with logic a [unindoctinated] child might use, closing with “Fucking Retard!” Here’s a few that fit that bill:

Speaking of “warming,” there does seem to be some heat rising from down under. Yea, inevitably Nicole Kidman came up again. I know I’ve shared her lovely rear with you guys before, but that’s no reason not to share it again. Sorry Elvis!

However, the image annemarie shared with us in prior post does make me reflect and reconsider what I might do to Nicole. That’s one scary fucking cover, man.

The cover also speaks synchronistic volumes of the connection between NIC[k]OLE [¿nice-hole?] and OLE’NICK. So, what exactly to you think, having listened to the clips from Prince’s “tribute,” happens when Little Nicki “starts to grind?” Would that be as in “grind” flesh? Go back and look at the images from last podcast dealing with the meat-grinding Cattle-Barenness from someplace faraway down.

Listen closely to the sections where Prince is screaming and tell me if that sounds like “pleasure” to you. Here’s the other related pics I said I was saving. There are no coincidences folks. But, there is good reason why it’s all becoming so evident.

The Diamond Dogs are just the female variant of whores of the priest class. They are the starlettes that indoctrinate our kids into idol worship, and idleness [as in stunted brain development]. One day, I’ll get around to writing the long overdue article entitled Diamonds are a Whore’s Best Friend, but here’s another image [below] I’ve been looking to offload somewhere. Another bit of “truth.”

That may offend someone, and I guess I need not explain how little I care at this stage. But, many on this quest for truth wear diamonds, thus many “truthers” are whores who’ll never ever look into that mirror of truth. The first [real] step on the quest for truth is to admit you’re a whore. The second, is to stop being one.

Do I even need to get into the lunacy of going [submitting] to the church/state to get “married?” Cap in hand, begging the same “daddy” who despises and mocks you, to bequeath his blessing upon your union [¿would that be "foul union," or "fowl union"?]. The same slave privilege for which homosexuals are presently beating the drums of injustice at the plantation. Surely, the Master is rather amused.

Hm, so Oliver Stone (directed The Doors), Nick Cage [the illuminated seeker], Martin Scorcese (directed The Last Temptation of Christ), and Tom Hanks [symbologist hero extraordinnaire] are all intimately connected to the Vatican. Another coincidence, shirley. Here’s the flying x-box of death we talked about.

Which reminds me, I’m flabbergasted why people are so convinced that “Angels” are good, and “Demons” are bad, or that there’s even the slightest difference between the two. As if before the dawn of time, someone said, OK, all you guys that drink Coke are gonna be on the Devils Team and wear Red, while all you guys that drink Pepsi are gonna play for the Angels and wear White, forever. I guess it was better that than shirts versus skins? Which reminds me, I should probably sodomize a couple of those archangels once I get the hell out of this place.

Now the cabaret is frozen and the laughter comes in cans, and
The lonely hearts club clientele don’t know what to do with their hands

You swear you’ll never go back again, once you’re inside
You’re never the bridegroom, she’s always the bride
You’re not going to do a thing, to our little angel

You’ll come in a sweetheart and you’ll go out a stranger
Well, you try to love her, but she’s so contrary
Like a chainsaw running through a dictionary
So get your mind off the sweet behind of our little angel

Of note, in the mindfuck officially entitled Angels & Demons, said x-box flew into the vortex, while our deer Little Nicole spoke emphatically of “twisters” in Oz. {*4} There’s a lot more on that coming, and at the risk of giving away too much, let’s just say we’ll be “twisting the night away.”

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*1: Here’s a link. I can’t comment on aliens, cause I’ve yet to meet one. The main area I got uneasy is when Jordan’s comments regarding lying sack-of-shit history-distorting social-engineering chicken-hawk Steven-Spielberg came close to praise. [LB]

*2: . Michael over at Hidden Agendas did a full-write up of said episdoe aeons ago, and included oodles of screen shots. For the unfamiliar, here’s my video featuring the movie segment Stygian and I joke about [08:08]. [LB]

*3: I’d guess, that nurture overrides nature, especially when you’re a victim of mind control. Safe to assume Jimmy spent a lot of time being eaten (as pic suggests), before he developed his own taste for “chicken”. [LB]

*4: Last-minute additions. My draft of “Diamonds” talks about how these over-abundant stones are pretty much worthless, unless you’re drilling through/for something. Thus, I can’t help but think this [kk] image is synchromystically related. The “uncomfortable statement” in regards to “twisting” that SP and I laugh about, occurred during the first Dark Knight interview. [LB]

Sometimes I get touchy about word choice.

If there’s one thing I love more than gorging myself on turkey (and stuffing, and cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie… mmm… wait, what was I talking about again?), it’s loafing on the living room couch before and after Thanksgiving dinner and taking in some fine Thanksgiving television.

Holiday-themed episodes of TV shows usually follow a predictable pattern—the gang is planning some kind of celebration until everything goes horribly awry. But by the end of the show, problems have been solved, fights have ended, and everyone sits down together to enjoy a nice meal and/or some serious present opening, accompanied by a well-known holiday tune.

While most Thanksgiving episodes still adhere to the formula, there’s something about them that makes them even more satisfying than Christmas/Hanukkah/Valentine’s Day specials. Maybe it’s because they tend to be less cheesy than other holiday shows. Maybe it’s because I just like watching people enjoy a hearty meal. Whatever the reason, Thanksgiving episodes deserve some appreciation.

So, without further ado, here’s my list of the best Thanksgiving episodes. They’re all funny, entertaining, and heartwarming without being cloying—yes, even that episode of South Park.

7. “The Magnificent Archibalds”—Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl’s first Thanksgiving ep, the awesomely named “Blair Waldorf Must Pie,” was a tonal mess that revealed Blair’s bulimia and then promptly forgot about it. Its second Thanksgiving installment, though, was pretty great, mostly because of Wallace Shawn and Blair’s gay dad’s famous pie. It does lose a few points because of the boring Nate storyline, though. When will GG’s writers get that we’d much rather just look at Chace Crawford than hear him talk?

6. “Bart vs. Thanksgiving”—The Simpsons

In this early episode of the longest-running show on TV, Bart ruins Lisa’s Thanksgiving centerpiece—which honors great women from American history, naturally—then runs away to a soup kitchen before realizing he should be, well, thankful for what he has. The best quote comes from Marge’s mean mother, Jacqueline: “I have laryngitis. It hurts to talk, so I’ll just say one thing: You never do anything right.”

5. “Thanksgiving”—Top Chef

The producers of Top Chef are all about giving their contestants seemingly impossible challenges, like creating a restaurant in a day or catering a wedding with only twelve hours to cook. In this Season 2 episode, the chefs are asked to cater a haute Thanksgiving meal. Many of the dishes go predictably, spectacularly wrong, prompting outspoken guest judge Anthony Bourdain to ask Tom and Padma, “What kind of crack house are you running here?”

4. “Slapsgiving”—How I Met Your Mother

Ah, Slapsgiving—“It’s the one day we set aside each year to gather together and give slaps,” explains Marshall, who plans to slap Barney after dinner’s done. But the best part of the episode isn’t the slap (which ends up being a little anti-climactic). It’s the following exchange between Barney and Robin:

Robin: “The Canadian thanksgiving celebrates explorer Martin Frobisher’s valiant, yet ultimately, unsuccessful attempt to find the Northwest Passage.”
Barney: “Why are you guys even a country?

3. “Free Fallin’”—Degrassi

And speaking of Canada, admit it: at some point in your life, you were really into this Canadian soap opera. I may or may not still be at that point. In any case, this ep from Season 6 has it all: drama between mean girl Paige and her ex-girlfriend Alex, an exploding turkey, and a dinner that reveals plenty of secrets. Oh, and it ends with a main character committing arson. Degrassi: it goes there.

2. “The One With Chandler in a Box”—Friends

This entire list could consist of nothing but episodes of Friends, the only sitcom I can think of that aired a special Thanksgiving-themed installment every year. My favorite one is this episode from Season 4, in which Chandler encloses himself to atone for kissing Joey’s girlfriend. Honorable mentions: “The One with the Rumor,” co-starring Brad Pitt as Rachel’s high-school nemisis, and “The One Where Ross Got High,” featuring an English trifle that combines jam and ladyfingers with beef sautéed with peas and onions (“It tastes like feet!”).

1. “Helen Keller! The Musical”—South Park

The greatest Thanksgiving episode of all time involves a disabled turkey named Gobbles, Timmy in a wig, and tons of inside jokes for musical theater nerds like me (“I shall swear it on my life: your play should want for nothing,” sings the play’s director, who played Jean Valjean in a community theater production of “Les Mis”). It’s not all about the punchlines, though: Timmy and Gobbles’s friendship is legit touching. I also have a soft spot for jokes about “The Miracle Worker,” since I played Blind Girl #3 in my high school’s production of the play. Seriously. Watch the episode yourself at South Park Studios.

Once again, I return to the technique of using a metaphor created by a recent South Park episode (Season 13, Episode 10) to illustrate the way things are (in an entirely different subject). Warning: There is adult, offensive language in the video clips I use below. My usual admonition applies. If you are easily offended, please skip them.

The episode is about the popular perception of wrestling, promoted by the WWF, vs. the real sport. It uses the same theme as an earlier episode I used, which satirized Guitar Hero: The pop culture is taking something which involves discipline and hard work, with some redeeming quality, and turning it into something else entirely with no redeemable value. Rather than challenging us to be something more, it revels in what we are.

This is a follow-up post to “Does computer science have a future?” It fleshes out the challenge of trying to promote a real science in computing…with some satire.

I’ve been getting more exposure to the evolution of CS in universities, which extends to the issue of propping up CS in our high schools (which often just means AP CS), though there’s been some talk of trying to get it into a K-12 framework.

University CS programs have been hurting badly since the dot-com crash of 2001. Enrollments in CS dropped off dramatically to levels not seen since the 1970s. We’re talking about the days when mainframes and minicomputers seemed to be the only options. It’s not too much of a stretch to say that we’ve returned to that configuration of mainframes and terminals, and the thinking that “the world needs only 5 computers”.

After looking at the arc of the history of computing over the last 30 years, one could be excused for thinking that an open network like the internet and an open platform like the personal computer were all just a “bad trip”, and that things have been brought back to a sense of reasonable sobriety. This hides a deeper issue: Who is going to understand computing enough to deal with it competently? Can our universities orient themselves to bring students who have been raised in an environment of the web, video game consoles, iPods, and smart phones–who have their own ideas about what computers are–to an understanding of what computing is, so they can carry technological development forward?

Going even deeper, can our universities bring themselves to understand the implications of computing for their own outlook on the world, and convey that to their students? I ask this last question partly because of my own experience with computing and how it has allowed me to think and perceive. I also ask it because Alan Kay has brought it up several times as an epistemological subject that he’d like to see schools ponder, and in some way impart to students: thinking about systems in general, not just in computers.

The point of the internet was to create a platform upon which networks could be built, so they could be used and experimented with. It wasn’t just built so that people could publish porn, opinion, news, music, and video, and so that e-commerce, information transfer, chat, and internet gaming could take place.

The personal computer was not just created so that we could run apps. on it, and use it like a terminal. It was created with the intent of making a new medium, one where ideas could be exchanged and transactions could take place, to be sure, but also so that people could mold it into their own creation if they wanted. People could become authors with it, just as with pen, paper, and the typewriter, but in a much different sense.

But, back to where we are now…

Most high schools across the country have dropped programming courses completely, or they’re just hanging on by a thread (and in those cases an AP course is usually all that’s left). The only courses in computer literacy most schools have offered in the last several years are in how to use Microsoft Word and Excel (and maybe how to write scripts in Office using VBA), and how to use the web, Google, and e-mail.

CS departments in universities are desperate to find something that gives them relevance again, and there’s a sense of “adapt or die”. I’ve had some conversations with several computing educators at the university and high school level about my own emerging perspective on CS, which is largely based on the material that Alan Kay and Chris Crawford have put forward. I’ve gotten the ear of some of them, but only a rare few seem to have the background and open mindedness to understand and consider what I have to say. These few like entertaining the ideas for a bit, but then forget about it, because they don’t translate into their notions of productive classroom activities (implementations). I must admit I don’t have much of a clue about how to translate these ideas into classroom activities yet, either, much less how to sell them to curriculum committees. I’m just discovering this stuff as I go. I guess I thought that by putting the ideas out there, along with a few other like-minded people, that at least a few teachers would catch on, become inspired, and start really thinking about translating them into curriculum and activities.

I’ve been getting a fair sense from afar about how hard it is for computing educators to even think about doing this. I’ve been surprised, because I’ve always thought that it’s the teachers who come up with the curriculum, and in this “time of crisis” for CS they would be interested in a new perspective. It’s actually an old perspective, but it hasn’t been implemented successfully on a wide scale yet, and it’s a more advanced perspective than what has been taught in CS in most places for decades.

The challenge is understandable to me now at one level, because any alternative point of view on CS, even the ones currently being taught in some innovative university programs, run into the buzz saw of the pre-existing student perspective on computing (prepare, there’s an analogy coming):

Trying to teach anything akin to “the real thing” (using computing in deep and creative ways to create representations of our ideas and test them, and possibly learn something new in the process) tends to get weird looks from students (though not from all):

There’s a temptation on the part of some to take away from this experience the idea that the material they’re presenting is no longer relevant, and that the students’ perspectives should be folded into what’s taught. I agree with this up to a point. I think that the presentation of the material can be altered to help students better relate to the subject, but I draw the line at watering down the end goal. I think that subjects have their own intrinsic worth. Rather than trying to find a way to help more students pass by throwing out subjects that seem too difficult, there should instead be remedial support that helps willing students rise up to a level where they can understand the material. To me, the whole idea of a university education is to get students to think and perceive at a more sophisticated level than when they came in. CS should be no different. You’d be surprised, though, how many CS professors think the more important goal is to teach only about existing technology and methodologies.

Talking to most other CS educators at the high school and university level has been an eye-opening and disheartening experience, because we get our terminology confused. I mean to say one thing, and to my amazement I get people who honestly think I’m saying the complete opposite. In other cases we have a different understanding of the same subject, and so the terms we use get assigned different meanings, and I come to a point where I realize we can’t understand each other. The background material for where we’re coming from is just too different.

Many CS professors (whom I have not met, though I’ve been hearing about them) apparently think all of this “real thing” stuff is quaint, but they have real work to do, like “training IT professionals for the 21st century”. Phah! Guess what, people. Java is the new Cobol (in lieu of Fortran, no less…). Web apps. are the new IBM 3270 apps. Remember those days? Welcome to the 1970s! And by the way, isn’t CS starting to look like CIS? Just an observation…

(A little background on the clip below: In the story, after the failed attempt at learning real wrestling (in the clip above), the South Park kids form their own “wrestling show”, which is just play acting with violence, complete with the same scandal-ridden themes of the “WWE wrestling” they admire so much. A bunch of “redneck” adults in South Park gather around to watch in rapt attention.)

Note I am not trying to call anyone “stupid” (the wrestling teacher in South Park has a penchant for calling people that), though I share in the character’s frustration with people who are unwilling to challenge their own assumptions.

I get a sense that with many CS professors the bottom line is it’s all about supporting the standard curriculum in order to turn out what they believe are trained IT professionals who are capable of working with existing technology to create solutions employers need. I wonder if they’ve talked to any software developers who work out in the field. I’m sure they’d get an earful about how CS graduates tend to not be of high quality anymore.

The faculty support their departmental goals and the existing educational field. The belief is, ”Dammit! We’ve gotta have something called ‘CS’, because something is better than nothing.” This ends up meaning that they accommodate the dominant perspective that students have on computing. This ultimately goes back to the dominant industry vision, which now has nothing to do with CS.

When I’ve found a receptive CS professor, what I’ve suggested as a remedy, along with “moving the needle” back to something resembling a real science, is that the CS community needs to invent educational tools: Their own educational artifacts, and their own programming languages. This still goes on, though it’s not happening nearly as much as it did 40 years ago. I think that the perspectives of students need to be taken into consideration. The models used for teaching need to create a bridge between how they think of computing coming in, and where the CS discipline can take them.

The standard languages that most CS departments have been using for the past 14 years or so are C++, and now Java. C++ came from Bell Labs. Java came from Sun Microsystems. Both were created for industrial use by professionals, not people who’ve never programmed a computer before in their lives! In addition, they’re not that great for doing “real CS”. I’ve only heard of Scheme being recommended for that (along with some select course material, of course). I haven’t worked with it, but Python seems to get recommended from time to time by innovative people in CS. It’s now used in the introductory CS course at MIT. My point is, though, there needs to be more of an effort put into things like this in the CS academic community.

What’s at stake

In my previous post I link to above I asked the question, which Alan Kay asked in his presentation, “Does CS have a future?” I kind of punted, giving a general answer that’s characterized the field through the last several decades. I figured it would continue to be the case. This is going to sound real silly, but this next scene in South Park actually helped me see what Kay was talking about: We could lose it all! The strand that spans the gulf between ignorance and “the real thing” (a connection which is already extremely tenuous) could snap, and CS would be all but dead:

What came to mind is that it wouldn’t necessarily mean that the programs called “CS” would be dead, but what they teach would end up being something so different and shallow as to not even resemble the traditional CS curriculum that’s existed for 30+ years.

What I’ve learned is there’s a lot of resistance to bringing a more powerful form of CS into universities and our school system. This is not only coming from the academics. It’s also coming from the students. This is because, ironically, it’s seen as weak and irrelevant. I’ve already given you a feel for where the student perspective is at. Alan Kay identified a reason why most CS academics don’t go for it: They think what they’re teaching is it! They think they’re teaching “real CS”. They have little to no knowledge of the innovative CS that was done in the 1960s and 70s. They couldn’t even recall it if they tried, because they never studied it. They’re historically illiterate, just like our industry.

High school “CS” teachers (why not just call their courses “programming”. That’s what they used to be called) are hapless followers of the university system. They’re less educated than the CS professors about what they do. From what I’ve heard about the standards committees that govern curriculum for the public schools, they’d have no clue about what “real CS” is if it was shown to them. This isn’t so much a gripe of mine as an acknowledgment that the public schools are not designed for teaching the different modes of thought that have been invented through the ages. There’s no point in complaining about a design, except to identify that it’s flawed, and why. The answer is to redesign the system and then criticize it if the intent of the design is not being met.

My sense of the historical ignorance in our field, having been a part of it since I was a teenager, is people take it as an article of faith that there’s been a linear progression of technological improvement. So why look at the old artifacts? They’re old and they’re obviously worse than what we have now. That’s the thinking. They don’t have to verify this notion. They know it in their bones. If they’re exposed to technical details of some of the amazing artifacts of the past, they’ll find fault with the design (from their context). How the design came about is not seen as valuable in and of itself. Only the usefulness that can be derived from it is seen as worthy. Most CS academics are not too distant from this level of ignorance. I get a sense that this comes from their own sense of inadequacy. They know they couldn’t design something like it. They wouldn’t expect themselves to. As far as they’re concerned electrical engineers and programming “gods” created that stuff. They also tend to not have the first clue about the context in which it was designed. They’ll pick out some subsystem that’s antiquated by what’s used now and throw the baby out with the bathwater, calling the whole thing worthless, or at best an antique that should be displayed dead in a museum. You may get the concession out of them that it was useful as a prototype for its time, but what’s the point in studying it now? The very idea of understanding the context for the design is an alien thought to them.

The designs of these old systems weren’t perfect. They were always expected to be works in progress. What gets missed is the sheer magnitude of the improvement that occurred, the leaps in thinking about computing’s potential, and what these new perspectives allowed the researchers to think about in terms of improving their designs, the quality of which were orders of magnitude greater than what came before them (that point is often missed in modern analysis). Technologists often have the mindset of, “What can this technology do for me now?” They take for granted what they have, as in, “Now that I know how to use and do this, that old thing over there is ancient! My god. Why do you think that thing is so amazing?”

Another thing I’ve seen people dismiss is the idea that the people who created those amazing artifacts had an outlook that’s any different from their own, except for the fact that they were probably “artists”. That’s a polite way of dismissing what they did. Since they were so unique and “out there”, many of their ideas can be safely ignored, rather like how many in the open source community politely dismiss the ideas of the Free Software Foundation, and Richard Stallman. The stance is basically, “Thanks, but no thanks.” Yes, they came up with some significant new ideas, but it’s only useful to study them insofar as some of their ideas helped expand the marketability of technology. Their other ideas are too esoteric to matter. In fact we secretly think they’re a little nuts.

As I have written about on this blog, I share Kay’s view that computing has great historical and societal significance. What I’ve come to realize is that most CS academics don’t share that view. Sure, they think computing is significant, but only in terms of doing things faster than we once did, and in allowing people to communicate and work more efficiently at vast distances. The reasons are not as simple as a closed-mindedness. Kay probably nailed this: Their outlook is limited.

What it comes down to is most computer science academics are not scientists in any way, shape, or form. They’re not curious about their field of work. They’re not interested in examining their own assumptions, the way scientists do. Yet they dominate the academic field.

I’ve given some thought to some analogies for the CS major, as it exists today. One that came to mind is it’s like an English major, because the main focus seems to be on teaching students to program, and to do it well. As I’ve said before, programming in the realm of computing is just reading and writing. Where the English major excels beyond what CS teaches is there’s usually a study of some classics. This doesn’t happen in most CS curricula.

In discussions I’ve heard among CS academics, they now regard the field as an engineering discipline. That sounds correct. It fits how they perceive their mission. What generally goes unrecognized is that good engineering is backed by good science. Right now we have engineering backed by no science. All the field has are rules of thumb created from anecdotal evidence. The evidence is not closely scrutinized to see where the technique fits in other applications, or if it could be improved upon.

I am not arguing for a field that is bereft of an engineering focus. Clearly engineering is needed in computing, but without a science behind it, the engineering is poor, and will remain poor until a science is developed to support it.

My own vision of a science of computing could be described as a “science of design”, whose fundamental area of study would be architectures of computing. Lately Alan Kay has been talking about a “systems science”, which as he talked about in the presentation I link to above, includes not just architecture, but a “psychology of systems”, which I translated to mean incorporating a concept of collective “behavior” in a system of interactive systems. Perhaps that’s a shallow interpretation.

As you can tell, I now hold a dim view of traditional CS. However, I think it would be disruptive to our society to just say “let it die”. There are a lot of legacy systems around that need maintaining, and some of them are damn important to our society’s ability to function. There’s a need for knowledgeable people to do that. At the same time, Kay points ahead to the problem of increasing system complexity with poor architectural designs. It’s unsustainable. So it’s not enough to just train maintainers. Our technological society needs people who know how to design complex systems that can scale, and if nothing else, provide efficient, reliable service. That’s just a minimum. Hopefully one day our ambitions will go beyond that.

The discussion we’re not having

I happened to catch a presentation on C-SPAN last month by the National Academy of Engineering and the National Research Council on bringing engineering education into the K-12 curriculum (the meeting actually took place in September). I’m including links to the two-part presentation here, because the people involved were having the kind of discussion that I think that CS academics should be having, but they’re not. The quality of the discussion was top notch, in my opinion.

Engineering in K-12 Education, Part 1, 3 hours

Engineering in K-12 Education, Part 2, 2 hours

What was clear in this presentation, particularly in Part 2, was that the people promoting engineering in K-12 have a LOT of heavy lifting to do to achieve their goals. They are just at the infant stage right now.

Readers might be saying, “How can they possibly think of teaching engineering in primary school? What about all the other subjects they have to learn?” First of all, the organizations that held this event said that they weren’t pressing for adding on classes to the existing curriculum, because they understand that the existing school structure is already full of subjects. Rather, they wanted to try integrating engineering principles into the existing course structure, particularly in math and science. Secondly, they emphasized the engineering principles of design and systems thinking. So it didn’t sound like it would involve shoving advanced math down the throats of first graders, though teaching advanced math principles (again, principles, not drill and practice) in a fashion that young students can understand wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Perhaps that could be accomplished through such a curriculum.

I had a discussion recently with Prof. Mark Guzdial, some other CS professors, and high school teachers on his blog, related to this subject. Someone asked a similar question to what I posed above: “I agree [with what you say about a real science of computing]. But how in the world do you sell that to a K-12 education board?” I came to a similar conclusion as the NAE/NRC: Integrate CS principles wherever you can. For example, I suggested that by introducing linguistics into the English curriculum, it would then be easier to introduce concepts such as parse trees and natural language processing into it, and it would be germane. Linguistics is an epistemological subject. Computing and epistemology seem to be cousins. That was just one example I could think of.

If CS academics would actually think about what computing is for a while, and its relevance to learning, they wouldn’t have to ask someone like me these questions. I’m just a guy who got a BSCS years ago, went into IT for several years, and is now engaged in independent study to expose himself to a better form of CS in hopes of fulfilling a dream.

Universities need to be places where students actually get educated, not just “credentialed”. Even if we’re thinking about the economic prospects of the U.S., we’re fooling ourselves if we think that just by handing a student a diploma that they’re being given a bright future. Our civil and economic future is going to be built on our ability to think, perceive, and create, even if most of us don’t realize it. Our educational systems had best spend time understanding what it will take to create educated citizens.

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I’m really blurry on what constitutes something being OK versus not OK when it comes to religion and spreading your faith among the service-members in the military. In fact there are a lot of questionable things when it comes to how the military in general handles religion – but the most fearfully ridiculous example I have come across in a while is the Naval Air Station Pensacola’s attempt to convert the masses via the love of pizza.

As if it weren’t enough that when I was having issues my Chief asked me if I wanted to see the Chaplain (fine) and when I said “No, I’m not too religious,” continued then to tell me in a slightly Christian elitist tone that without faith there is no comfort. WTF is that supposed to mean? But now we also have Pizza for Jesus Tuesdays. That’s right folks, every Tuesday you can GET OUT OF WORK, and go down to the relaxing lounge area and enjoy yourself some free freshly made pizza and listen to people talk about the power and glory of their Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

Now my issue isn’t that it’s purely a Christian event – even if it is one with a very born-again leaning to it. I’m sure that if there were enough Muslims, Hindus, Jews, or whatever here that they too would be able to hold their own Pizza parties, although no one would come because they can’t eat pork and that gets rid of all the ‘good’ pizza toppings. My issue is rather with the fact that the Military feels the need to suggest that its member should have a religion.

I’ll be the first to admit that I can see how having faith in a higher power could be immensely beneficial for some people in a time or war or need. However! It is not the military’s job to encourage people to believe in this high power, it’s the military’s job to give us orders and achieve the goals of the US Government under it’s Constitutional authority – NOT to tell me I need to have Jesus in my life or even to encourage it in any way.

I did go and eat pizza though. It wasn’t very good and they ran out of soda to accompany the greasy slices of pie which was clearly a sign from heaven that this was an immense waste of time, as are most things religious. Does anyone else see a problem with this?

We aren’t sure of the ramifications, but it does appear to neutalize some particles of the urine.

効果に確信はもてませんが
尿粒子を中和すると思います

A couple of thoughts, and a couple of great videos for a lazy Sunday in November, as I prepare to watch my New York Jets get pummeled by the Patriots:

First, let me state right upfront I’ve never been a big “South Park” guy. I know, I know, everyone says it’s the greatest thing ever, and I admit that the few times I’ve watched it I’ve laughed. But I just never got into the show, though I acknowledge how wickedly clever Matt Parker and Trey Stone are.

This, however, absolutely slayed me. It’s Cartman, singing a song about … well, just listen. Brilliant stuff.

**I have absolutely no faith that the Jets will beat the Pats today. As I said in an email to my friend, excellent writer, Patriots fan and FOWWOS (Friend of Wide World of Stuff; yeah, that acronym needs some work) Ali Taber this week, I figure either New England will be so mad about everyone criticizing Coach Hoodie’s strategy at the end of the Colts game that they’ll come out and pulverize the Jets, or the Pats will still be a little dazed and my Gang Green will have a chance.

It would be just like the Jets to win today and then lose three in a row.

**This is totally random, but has anyone else noticed that tubs of cream cheese in the fridge don’t go bad nearly as fast as they used to? This is definitely a phenomenon worth exploring. I had some Philly cream cheese today that I think I bought in, like, September, and it was still good. I seem to remember cream cheese in the past always would go bad after like a week.

**Finally, 30 seconds of comic hilarity. A player in the Swedish hockey league, Henrik Andersen, got really excited after scoring his first goal of the season. So excited that, well … just watch.

It’s the best we could come up with in such a short time!

短時間で思いつける最善の物です

Once they believe they can neutralize the enraging effects of the pee, they’ll, they’ll go in to look for survivors.

オシッコの怒り効果を中和できれば
彼らがすぐに救出に向かう！

Yes, help me I’m just a little boy!

ほら 助けろ！
おいらただの少年

We’ve only tested the theory on monkeys so far.

この理論を猿に試してみた

Anyone inside there is contaminated.

内部は汚染されているんです

Captain, these two men claim to know the situation.

状況を知る人がいました

I want that entire waterpark contained and quarantined until I get some answers.

検疫結果が出るまで
このウォーターパーク全て封鎖しろ

He said he’s not doing it! And as his lawyer I advise you gentlemen to leave and take your wild pee theories with you!

今断っただろ 彼の弁護士として言うが
その横暴な尿理論と共に立ち去りなさい