People who drive half-naked when on holiday in Europe without applying sufficient quantities of sun cream will now be sentenced to one year in prison, in a plan to slash the number of combined road and skin-cancer-related deaths, the European Commission said on 16 July.

A new EU-wide system of road-side, sun cream-sensitive cameras will be in place by the end of this month, particularly at beach resorts in Spain and Greece, in time for the annual migration of Europeans to the bloc’s hot-spots.

“We have noted that in summer more Europeans die in road accidents than at any time of the year,” EU road spokesperson Aronda Bend said.

 “At the same time of year, a higher percentage of people get skin cancer,” Bend continued.

“We have since put two and two together to come up with an efficient, effective, coherent and relevant framework directive that will limit fatalities in both cases; in English, we call it killing two birds with one stone.”

But the plan has hit opposition in a number of EU member states, in particular the UK.

“We fink it’s our right, I said RIGHT, to drive top-less wivout bldy suncream when we’re on ‘oliday,” one representative for the UK’s male transport authority said.

“Speedin’ up and down roads near beaches, exposing our gorwgeous glowing red skin and amping up the music attracts the birds, dunnit.”

He added, somewhat aggressively: “AND, we don’t fink it’s right to kill one bird, let alone two”, he added.

Bend, known affectionately in political circles as Bender, retorted that the EU intends to extend bird-nature protection zones this summer, anyway.

“I was merely using the word bird figuratively,” she said.

Way back in 2006 our good friend Nas, the troublemaker of ‘Hate me now’ fame, declared that our beloved Hippity-Hop was indeed a festering corpse. Fortunately for us Nas’ portent has proved slightly inaccurate,  not unlike the original Nas of the 16th century. What’s that you say? How do we know hip-hop is registering a pulse? We’re glad you asked:

That’s right, these fine young gentlemen have kept their noses to the grindstone despite Nas’ predictions, and from the looks of things they appear to be doing quite well.

Bro, you must be new around here Bro, man we da best man. Yes, DJ Khaled you are the best, keep doin what you do.

Download this week’s Friday Writers’ Bloc Playlist HERE

Michael-Bradley’s Picks

1. X – Nausea

I just ate a few tacos, so I figured I would pull out my anthem that I sing when I’m nauseous-Nausea. Along with bands like the Germs, X was part of the first wave of punk that found LA. Both those bands, as well as previously featured FEAR all were a big part of “The Decline of Western Civilization.” X had a real edge, but a lot of their stuff had plenty leftovers of New Wave dropped in. This is off their first album, Los Angeles, produced by the Door’s Ray Manzarek.

2. Bad Religion – White Trash (2nd Generation)

I was just having a discussion with a friend about the LA punkers- Bad Religion. Among kids our age, they’re most known for their poppy punk anthems that they’ve been putting out the past ten years on KROQ. It’s hard for many to believe that these guys were part of the first Hardcore movement in the states. But after examining their name and their iconic logo it’s no surprise. Their first album “How Could Hell Be Any Worse” was classic hardcore. Too bad they followed the album with “Into the Unknown”, a crappy prog-rock record that absolutely destroyed their punk cred. They came back afterwards, with “Back to the Known” in a form that is more recognizable now, but the hardcore was all gone. If you want to talk to the band, check out a UCLA Life Science lecture where you’ll find the lead singer teaching!

3. The Mae Shi – Run To Your Grave

Full of changing and unique DIY lighting, as well as frequent costume changes, these guys are great to see live. But their great on tape too. These guys’ run as a small time LA Smell band is on it’s last legs. I’m pretty certain they’re about to blow up at any moment. After featuring albums with 30 or so spastic 30 sec to 1 min explosions, they’ve settled down to more chewable 2-3 min songs. Their newest album “Hlllyh”, should be hitting the radio at any time. Going between 80’s 8 bit keyboards, chanting sing alongs, a little punk, and great chorus’s, it should be no wonder why they’ll do great everywhere. This song is catchy as hell, and already has a great video. My only question is, how are people going to receive their lyrics? After seeing them a bunch live, I’m pretty certain they’re being satirical, but we’ll see how everybody else receives it

Jonathan’s Picks

1. The Game – Big Dreams

I gotta come clean. I’m an East Coast guy. New York born and bred. Biggie, Jay-Z, Nas — those were my guys growing up. Sure I liked ‘Pac, Dre, and Snoop, and I even respected ‘em. But they just never held the same water with me. After ‘Pac passed, Dre stopped making albums, and Snoop signed with Master P’s No Limit Records, West Coast Hip Hop was dead. (My apologies to Xzibit, but you don’t count in this category). But in 2004, my (forced) move to Los Angeles coincided almost perfectly with the arrival of a young, brash, fast-rising West Coast rapper called The Game. Ever since I heard The Documentary in 2005, I have anxiously anticipated his every release, and Doctor’s Advocate did not disappoint. In fact it merely succeeded in raising the bar to an unthinkable level for a sophomore album. The Game and Lil Wayne are by far the two most exciting and interesting young rappers in today’s hip hop community, each with a legitimate chance to become a legend in his own right, and eventually achieve O.G. status. “Big Dreams” is the first single from The Game’s upcoming album, L.A.X., which is due out this June. I can’t even pretend I’m not excited.

2. Rick Ross – The Boss

Since I’m being honest this week, I admit that after Rick Ross’ (undeniably hot, but semi-ridiculous) debut single, “Hustlin”” was released in 2006, I thought that would surely be the last we heard of the always meticulously unshaven drug dealer-turned rapper. Yet another “One Hit Wonder” going by the wayside, drifting quietly out into the waters of the Port of Miami. But clearly, I was very wrong. Ross struck Gold with his first album, and is aiming even higher on his second, the recently released and succinctly titled, Trilla, which debuted at number one on the Billboard 200, beating out both Snoop Dogg’s Ego Trippin’ and Fat Joe’s (aptly titled) Elephant in the Room. That’s serious business, as Ross took out two hip hop vets in one week. Though I wasn’t grabbed by Trilla’s first single, “Speedin’” featuring R. Kelly, I simply cannot get enough of Ross’ second single off the new album, “The Boss,” featuring T-Pain, and produced by Los Angeles-based hitmaker, Jonathan “J.R.” Rotem. I like bumpin’ this one as loud as possible, and I suggest you do the same.

3. Day26 – Got Me Going

Who the hell is Day26, you ask? Well that’s an excellent and fair question, since chances are they will never be very important or well known. Day26 is the newly formed R&B group from Diddy and his Bad Boy Records imprint, which came together on the fourth try, uh…I mean fourth season, of MTV’s Making the Band. It seems like it took a lot longer than that. (Note: Sorry to interrupt, but is that not the worst name for an R&B group you’ve ever heard? I really can’t think of anything worse. Day26?? It’s inane). Anyway, despite the awful name, and the overwrought production of the band itself, Day26 and its self-titled debut album hit the top of the Billboard 200 chart in its first week of sales. Wow. Okay then. “Got Me Going” is their first single off the album, and come to think of it, it’s their first single off anything at all. Are they any good? Well, you be the judge of that.

JustJake’s Picks

1. Jimmy Martin – Sophronie

Jimmy Martin was the king. He said so, and not too many people disagreed (well, maybe Bill Monroe). Martin was one of those larger than life types and this song showcases his rhinestone-suited swagger even as he sings about heartbreak and loneliness. That’s one of the beauties of bluegrass music: when it’s sad it’s still so fast that you’d never know it. Off of the Monroe tree, Martin played bluegrass right and is a great introduction for anyone not familiar with the genre.

2. Solomon Burke – That’s How I Got To Memphis

Solomon Burke is not related to Jimmy Martin but he is also a king. He performs in a crown, has a scepter, and sits in a throne on stage. The much underappreciated King of Soul released a mindblowingly soulful album (Nashville) in 2006 and this is the first track. Oh, and he’s been doing this for over sixty years, starting as a teenage preacher in Philadelphia, and somehow amassing like thirty kids along the way. When I saw him last year he couldn’t get out of his throne due to his tremendous size and age but still managed to hand out a red rose to every woman in the audience who wanted one, and probably could have bedded any one of them. Truly an amazing man and an amazing song.

3. The Million Dollar Quartet – Just a Little Talk With Jesus

Speaking of kings, Elvis and a few friends recorded this song in an impromptu jam session at Sun Records in 1956. You may have heard of his friends: Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins, and Johnny Cash. Most of the songs are filled with amazing banter and priceless stories like the one about being on the road with some guy named Chuck Berry. This is one of the few songs where the quartet plays uninterrupted. The quality isn’t anything to write home about but, come on, it’s Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins, and Johnny Cash.

Carman’s Picks

Bob Dylan hat trick (been watching hockey highlights on SportsCenter) today from yours truly. Why? Well I’ve been inspired lately after watching Todd Haynes’ excellent I’m Not There for the second time and his recent Pulitzer Prize award. Oh yeah, and coincidentally you can tune in to my radio show this evening from 6-8 PST for a special Bob Dylan marathon at UCLAradio.com for our pledge drive. Give us your money!

1. Bob Dylan – Queen Jane Approximately

Quite possibly my favorite Dylan tune, nothing tops this tune for the sheer amount of vitriol that his drawl exudes in this song. Not even “Positively 4th Street.” It serves as a nice companion piece to “Like A Rolling Stone” on his magnum opus of Highway 61 Revisited. After the indignation and jeering of “Like A Rolling Stone,” he returns to the subject of the song with “Queen Jane Approximately” almost pointing and laughing while saying, “I knew you’d come crawling back.” Whether that “you” was Edie Sedgwick, Joan Baez, or his fans that abandoned him after proclaiming him as Judas, it doesn’t change the song one bit.

2. Bob Dylan – 4th Time Around

I think John Lennon took himself a little too seriously with “Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown).” So seriously that he got a little upset when Dylan knocked off this little parody of it on his double-album monster of Blonde On Blonde. John, you should’ve been at least honored that he even acknowledged the damn song.

3. Bob Dylan with The Rolling Thunder Revue – A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall (Live)

While I’m not entirely sold on the Rolling Thunder Revue performances of Dylan’s classic songs, this one was a standout to me on the Live 1975 set released in 2002 by Columbia. From a simple protest song came a reinvention of a Dylan classic that the carnival atmosphere of the tour turned into a riot of a performance that perfectly captured the leftover feelings of the conflict in Vietnam that had ended only months before the tour took off. The monstrosity of the conflict still loomed large in the minds of the West, and the anger and shame certainly did not die off.

Download this week’s Friday Writers’ Bloc Playlist HERE

Rick Ross’ –  “Trilla”
Fat Joe      -  “Elephant In The Room”
Snoop Dogg- “Ego Trippin”

Go out in the stores and buy them.
They are out today March 11th 2008
Click the links if you want to order them online.
I know I have been behind on my posting but I am pretty sure this post will make up for it.

 At the very end of the post will be links to previous stuff so check those out too.

Rick Ross ft. R. Kelly- “Speedin”

Fat Joe – “300/Crackhouse”

Fat Joe ft. J. Holiday  - “I Won’t Tell”

Snoop Dogg ft. Mista FAB and Too $hort- “Life Of Da Party”

Previously:
Snoop
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Snoop Dogg – “Neva Hafta Worry”
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Rick Ross
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Ace Gutta ft. Rick Ross & T-Pain-”Cash Flow”
Rick Ross Ft. Jay-Z – “Maybach Music”

Rick Ross ft. Lil’ Wayne,Trick Daddy,and Young Jeezy-”Luxury Tax”

Rick Ross ft. T-Pain - “Boss”

Super Tuesday Part 1

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Fat Joe
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Fat Joe – “Thank God For That White”
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Make sure you atleast get Fat Joe’s album, maybe that will make curtis actually stop rapping.

See Also:
Game freed from Jail after 8 days

This isn’t a Rick Ross single but Trilla is in stores March 11th, which is in exactly a week, so pick it up. Ace Gutta is the first person on Khaled’s new label on Def Jam.
Go buy Rick Ross’ album next Tuesday, continue reading the post to see the video and links to the other Rick Ross posts on here.

Ace Gutta ft. Rick Ross & T-Pain – “Cash Flow”

Previously:
Rick Ross Ft. Jay-Z – “Maybach Music”

Rick Ross ft. Lil’ Wayne, Trick Daddy, and Young Jeezy – “Luxury Tax”

Rick Ross ft. T-Pain -”Boss”

Super Tuesday Part 1

Moi et mon coloc Burroughs on est coincé sur ce morceau de Rick Ross. On le passe en boucle avec Street Money sans arrêt en faisant certains mouvements signature qu’on a développé. L’instru est débile et le clip est au paroxisme du “On se la raconte en speedboat avec des models pis du champagne pis du cash qui vole au vent et tombe dans la baie de miami”. Ce sont de nouveaux extraits de l’album de Rick Ross qui va sortir bientôt.

Trilla album comin’ soon…

DJ Kahled, fast cars, another fat man on a boat (we takin over), etc…

“you must be new or something. we the best man” Bwhahahaha. Anyways, as I was watching it I started thinking howthis is exactly like the Birdman videos, the Khaled videos … sure enough I wasn’t the only one thinking it. My dude Waxx breaks down how to make a Miami rap video.