A couple nights ago I went to a meditation class led by my new psychiatrist, something he calls psycho-dharma.  It was pretty awesome, in retrospect, although at the time, I was a little at a loss.  Sitting Indian-style, eyes closed, legs falling asleep and lower back increasingly aching in a room with twenty other strangers for forty-five minutes is really weird at first.

I’ve had several meager attempts at meditating in the past — consulted with a Japanese-Zen master (told me to start out staring at a white wall for an hour a day), been to a meditation class at a Thai Buddhist monastery (incomprehensible chanting, prayer, incense, and trance-like “walking meditation”), spoke with a yogi in India (gave me some books on role of yoga and meditation in love, family life, and everything up to world peace) — but nothing specific ever clicked. As interesting as it was, I found the process quite frustrating and with various people thrusting more religious beliefs on me, often intolerable.

But seriously, what’s the point of meditation?  Every religion, spiritual path, faith, etc, seems to advocate reaching some higher plain of consciousness. There have been these medical  studies on the power of prayer, and they’ve proven that the brains of a Buddhist monk and a Catholic nun (in the program I watched) have significantly altered brain waves and blood pressure when they are meditating or praying.

So…if this process, some process, alters our brain function for the better, puts us in a healthier more peaceful place, yeah, attempting to get there can only be good.  Right? Right.

Especially for people with chronic psychiatric issues?  Hopefully.

After we meditated (after I tried to focus, fidgeted, panicked, became overwhelmed with emotion, and then tried to focus again), we spoke about the experience (a too-long discussion comparing human meditation to our pet cats’ and dogs’ here-and-now existence and what the difference is), and then read a text.  The Heart Sutra (full text; Wikipedia page).  It’s supposedly a very important Buddhist text, as well as one of the shortest.  And it’s far out.  Here’s an excerpt:

“See first all five heaps—all five parts to a person—as being empty of any essence of their own. Your body is empty; emptiness is your body. Emptiness is nothing but your body, and your body is nothing but emptiness. The same is true of your feelings, and your ability to discriminate between things, and the other factors that make you up, and all the different kinds of awareness that you possess: all of them are empty. And thus we can say that every existing thing is emptiness.”

It’s my homework to contemplate this text this week.  You know, it never ceases to amaze me how advanced and (if I can even say) ahead-of-its-time ancient Eastern thought was.  While most of us were still illiterate pagans, living in mud huts, eating muddy roots, and just getting by, all of this was happening in India.  Everything that exists is emptiness.  Well, golly gee.

Whether this works or not, it’s nice to be putting together a schedule.  Meditation on Sundays, Scrabble Club on Mondays, Yoga on Tuesdays (or Wed or Thurs, haven’t figured that out yet).

Have a great day folks!  I’m trying…

Now that the story has started to roll out of me, I can’t seem to stop it up! I didn’t intend to write again today (and Lord knows, I have a LOT of work to do), but there’s just so much to cover, and it actually feels…. good, I guess… to get this all out.

So, I’ll press on, into adulthood. Where did I leave off?

Oh, yes. Brad going off to college. It was odd – no, it was actually completely foreign to me – after several years of constant communication with him. I do remember that we spoke somewhat regularly, but it wasn’t the same. He was in a whole new life, and there wasn’t much in the way of privacy from his dorm. And deep inside, there was a real sadness previously unknown to me – not just because I missed my voice, the only one who really understood my soul – but also because I knew how important that day that had passed could have been. I missed what I didn’t know I would have missed, if that makes any sense.

But life went on, regardless. Difficulties at home got worse, and I decided (mostly because of the chiding of my mother) to find some roommates and move out almost immediately after my 18th birthday. I only had three classes to finish high school that year, so I made sure my classes were all in the morning that second half of the year, I expanded my part-time job into a full time job as a shift manager at Taco Bell (we must all hold a job like that at some point in our lives), and moved out. Somehow, I managed, and got through that last semester and graduated; I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was truly lost. I felt betrayed and rejected by my family (on many fronts I can’t even begin to explain, beginning with my father screwing me out of the college money he’d promised for years), I continued back and forth breaking up and getting back together with the loser boyfriend (I also continued with my many varied escapades and one-night stands), and I just didn’t know how I was going to get my life together.

I have to interject a rather interesting experience here. My sister – forever fascinated with “the other side,” as well as psychics – recommended I go and see some woman out on the island, who was supposedly a tried-and-true clairvoyant. As I sort of felt like I was at rock bottom, I figured, what the heck – so I went to see her with my sister (we made back-to-back reading appointments). I don’t remember her name, just that she looked a heck of a lot like Lucille Ball, and that she chain smoked the entire time I sat with her. But I do remember that she was dead-on accurate about a lot of things that ended up happening. However, the one thing of most interest to me was what she told me about marriage – she said I would marry one of two men. One, she told me, I already knew – and she described Brad to a T. The other, she told me wouldn’t be along for awhile yet.

That gave me a lot to think about… and maybe a little hope?

So I did what I needed to do: I bought a plane ticket to Detroit, and planned a visit with Brad.

In school, Brad had played around a bit – the newfound freedom of college – and then had started dating someone. Topically, that was great, and I was happy if he was happy. However, everything else in my life stunk at that point; I missed my stronghold, the sanity of my connection with him – if I’d had the guts to look in the mirror at it, I would’ve been able to admit I’d felt cheated. I know a lot of it had to do with the bad place I felt I was in, but it was the first time ego started coming into play when it came to us; before, it was never an issue, no ego involved. In retrospect, I did something really ugly, but something that, by that time, I was quite versed at – I went to visit him with the intention of having sex with him. It became a conquest; I didn’t care about any girlfriend, dormmate, or whatever.

I felt like it was owed to me – to us – because of what hadn’t happened the year before.

It still hurts me right now to look at those sentences, because I know how true it was – and I’m not that kind of person. Anymore.

So I went out there, and it immediately registered that we had both changed some – something between us had changed. Because I could tell there was something a little bitter and distant with Brad, also. In some ways, he was harsher with me than he’d ever been before – I think that’s when the ego came into play with him, too. I don’t know if he’d thought more about it than he let on (actually, I’m sure he did – because I’d felt it), but for the first time, I also hadn’t let on how much I’d thought about it, either. It felt like he wanted me to want him – but also that he almost wanted to punish me for what hadn’t happened between us. So, though we had a good time that weekend – and we did consummate our relationship in that way – it was OK. That’s all – OK. Which was almost worse than if it had been completely terrible. Because instead, it should have been beautiful and whole, the way our relationship had been – but it was cold, impersonal, and just as if he were one of the many others I had on “the list.”

And though we laughed the whole thing off, I went home feeling as if it would have been better had we not done anything at all.

It left a hole in me.

And so went the next few years, only it got uglier before it got better. I went to Michigan a few times and had several quick liaisons with him – I would almost call them f***s, as they were simply dispassionate acts that almost “proved” that we had certain “rights” to each other. He would be dating someone, I would be dating someone, it didn’t matter – it was a completely separate thing for us, and had nothing to do with those others. When he was on break and home on Long Island, we spent time going back and forth and visiting each other, but it was like he wanted to control our connection, or deprive me of it at will. When he perceived that I wanted to focus on us, he would purposely flirt and disappear with one of my friends. So I started playing the same game -  in return, I would do the same with one of his friends.

It became a push-pull game, like we were trying to hurt each other – or maybe we were trying to keep each other at arm’s length, to shield ourselves from getting hurt, since we probably both had the power to do it moreso than anyone else. I don’t know for sure how he felt about my interest in his friends; however, on my part, I never let him see me get upset about any of his interludes with my friends, even though it would really get under my skin. I really never had very much of any real desire to be with his friends either, but made myself seem interested – at the time, I’d been so hurt by everyone else in my life that his blowing me off – the one thing that I had so deeply feared when this all started – felt worse than anything.

Throughout this period, I really started to find my inner strength, which in turn helped me start to get my act together. I quit smoking, I quit drugs, I finally quit the loser boyfriend that it had taken me 3 years to get rid of. I moved upstate to the Albany, New York area (where my roommates were originally from), and decided to try someplace – and something – new. I found a great job, and started college at night. I went through  some more escapades, but things eventually calmed down again between Brad and me. He’d gotten a place of his own, we were able to resume regular phone conversations, and thus, we dropped our silly pretenses and returned to the egoless relationship with which we were most comfortable when it came to each other. Once we got a little bit of a separation from that junk we’d dragged each other into, we moved on. However, I have to say that the ego never forgot, and it took me awhile to let it go, even if I never let him know it – how could I, anyway, since these were the few things I’d never shared with him?

He dated people; I dated people. As before, it never bothered me. We openly discussed everything – everything – including our sex lives with those we were seeing (and including our brief interludes, as well). Ups and downs. New and different lives, new and different aspirations. Before long, I was in a new relationship with a man named Bill; shortly after that, I moved in with him. Things were good for awhile, but before long, I realized I’d made a HUGE mistake in moving in with him. At the same time, Brad was in a relationship, as well, and over the span had problems with that one, too. So there we were yet again for each other, helping through the happiness and pain, almost day in, day out. We discussed problems and solutions; we shared our innermost feelings and perceptions. We debated, we argued, we agreed, and we solved.

At some point, there became enough distance – and most likely, simple maturity – between those years of ego interference. I was living in Schenectady; he was done with his Bachelor’s and was living/working in Midland, Michigan. It was all too often that we started talking about meeting in the middle – somewhere like Buffalo, NY – to spend a few days locked in a hotel room together, where we would have no outside interferences – and just have each other. Just us.

I don’t know why, but as often as we spoke of it, we never did it. Maybe we were still afraid?

Then I was simply done with my relationship with Bill – he just didn’t know it yet, because I had to get him out of the apartment (which was no easy task – and I knew it would be ugly, which was a long story). I think Brad had recently broken up from a relationship, himself. Anyway, it was Christmastime ‘91, and we both went to Long Island to visit our families, alone; subsequently, we planned a get together one evening at his parents’. As I’ve said before, we were never so comfortable as when it was just the two of us, being able to connect without any interference.

I remember that night, simply sitting together at his family’s dinner table – that was the next time, after that day almost 5 long and intense years earlier – when I again noticed that physical current between us when we accidentally touched, skin to skin. As it had the first time, it completely took me by surprise. And again, it made me uncomfortable because of it’s power.

However, much later that evening, after a long night of just spending time with each other, talking, and connecting – 5 years after it should have originally taken place – it finally just happened.

No egos, no pretenses, and no expectations – it was simple, affectionate, intense, and 100% pure love. It was one of the best nights of my life.

Even putting words to it seems to cheapen the act, but I can’t think of any other way to say it, except that it was just simply… beautiful. Beyond expression.

I went to sleep in the guest room, then got up, had breakfast with his family, and left. I remember my soul feeling so absolutely complete; I also couldn’t explain the magic of such a simple act that had never, in all the relations I’d had before, felt so right, so natural, and so powerful. And for the first time, I really felt hopeful about a different us. I remember somewhere along the way back to my sister’s house, I actually had to pull over on the side of the road, to sit there and let myself feel it all. And I remember I sat there and cried; I had absolutely no idea why I was crying, except that it was such a relief, and that I felt so extraordinarily good.

But I don’t think I ever told him any of that. In retrospect, I don’t think ever told him how special that night was to me, that it did stand out from all the others, at any other time. I don’t know why I didn’t; we pretty much just went back to our lives, and didn’t say much about it at all.

In fact, I told Bill about it when I got back to Schenectady that night, and that it was over for us. He moved out a few weeks later, and I found myself a smaller apartment. What happened between Brad and me had nothing to do with it; the relationship had already been over. Besides, as before, I could never put my relationship with Brad even on the same plane as my relationship with anyone else – there was no way to compare.

I don’t remember a lot of specifics for awhile after that, except that I was by myself for awhile – and I loved it! At this point, I was 23; I continued in school at night, my job was good – and I had a lot of aspirations. I read a lot, I worked out a lot, I dated occasionally, and went out and had a lot of fun with good friends. For the first time, I actually made some real effort to focus from the inside, and really started the search for what I felt was “something more,” and what I felt about my beliefs and the universe. My intuition increased, as well as my perception and empathy. As for Brad, he went back to school for graduate work, and moved to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

And our relationship? We talked, as usual. About almost everything – except we really never talked much about that night.

I think because of that, inside I began to cast doubt on the vague idea that he would be the one for me, and it slowly began to dissipate. We were in different states, we had different lives, and it didn’t seem like we even knew how to move in the right direction towards each other, even if we so desperately wanted to. I knew we were as one, that he was my other half – but there seemed to be too big a wall we couldn’t seem to navigate over, around, or through. Or at least, I had no idea how to scale it.

At some point during this period, I thought heavily about a different passion I’d had for a long time – marine biology. I was about halfway done with a degree in Computer Science, but had decided I really didn’t want to be a programmer. I’d been in marketing for awhile, and liked it a lot. BUT… marine biology really got me going! I soaked in everything possible about the ocean and its inhabitants for a number of years;  I bred fish, and at one point had 6 or 7 tanks going in my apartment, for accommodation. Marine mammals and their incredible intelligence fascinated me, and the thought of spending a career on the ocean, or actually doing  a job in that field seemed indescribably satisfying. Plus, I was still young and unattached, which made a decision all the easier.

In one of my discussions with Brad, I was telling him about this, and that I’d started looking at schools that I could maybe attend – I figured since I’d been on my own for quite awhile, grants and student loans wouldn’t be a problem. Somewhere in that discussion, he brought up Southampton College – and the fact that even though it was generally not a great school, it actually had one program that was excellent – Marine Biology. Then we hatched an idea together – if I went to Southampton College, then maybe I could rent a room from his parents.

I progressed down this path: researched into the school, spoke with his parents (who thought it was a great idea), and even applied. I was accepted to the school for the following year, in January.

This was a serious consideration for me. True, it would be going back to Long Island – where I never wanted to live again – but also true was that it would be in a place that generally had much better memories for me – plus, it would only be for a few years, and then I’d be off again.

Of course, there was also the thought – buried deep in the back of my mind – that this might be the way through that wall between Brad and me, after all – it would give him an excuse to go home more often, and it would definitely provide the opportunity to bring us even closer together – and maybe give us a chance.

So I continued to focus on myself, work hard, have a lot of fun, and start preparing for another change in lifestyle. However, before I knew it – probably because I wasn’t looking for it – there was a new option  for me, with the appearance of Scott.

That was the field- and life-changer, which leads me right into the next phase of my life.

Thoughts and sidelines about “Section 2″…
This was a very formative period of my adult life; again, though this actually only covers 6 years, it was so much! Again, looking at what has poured out is giving me an opportunity to not just look at it as a module in itself, but also together with the previous period. And wow. What a life on whitewater rapids!

What I didn’t really touch on was the amount of intellectual growth I experienced during this period. I became a reading fiend – especially once I moved to Schenectady, because I commuted via bus to Albany for work (what a GREAT bus system that area has!). It basically gave me about an hour a day during the week to do as I pleased. But I devoured many of the classics, including many books about business (and sometimes I did my college homework on the bus, too). I discovered some works and some authors whose works really rang true with me – such as Kurt Vonnegut and Ayn Rand – and many became and remain my favorites today!

I also started to read a lot about metaphysics. One of the things I hadn’t understood was the strength of my own intuition, my empathy, and my natural ability to dream about things that would eventually happen. It used scared me a little, but I think that’s because I didn’t understand it. The more I accepted it eventually, the stronger it became. But that’s taken a long time, and I feel that it’s still not developed enough.

Brad and I would discuss all of this. He was – is – generally very pragmatic, and the one thing we typically didn’t see eye to eye is on the subject of metaphysics. He, like me, was brought up Episcopal (which, as a sideline, was funny, because he was the only other person I’d met at that point who even knew what Episcopal was), but really didn’t think much of church – I don’t think he ever really went, as I’d been forced to do until about the age of 15. And being as black-and-white and analytical as he is, he always had a problem committing to belief in things he couldn’t define. Now, I’ll say that in general, because occasionally, he’d throw out a comment or two in that direction; so I know he’d thought about it, but I honestly never knew if he figured out where he stood in that respect. I’ve had some pretty big and constantly evolving ideas about this universe over the years, and I know we’ve had some extensive debates, but today, I’d say I still have a big question mark when it comes to what – and if – he’s settled on.

During that period, the movie I’ve come to settle on as one of my all-time faves came out: When Harry Met Sally… If you’ve seen the movie, and read through this story thus far, you should start to see why. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve watched it over the years! Besides including aspects of almost every relationship/friendship I’d ever had, it SO spoke to me back then -  like someone made that movie just for me, to tell me, “Hey – it WILL be you and Brad in the end… see?” I still love that movie today, for different reasons; however, deep down, it’s always a little bittersweet, because I remember what it used to represent to me.

Music is another medium that I find I really connected with during that period… and there are several that deep down I will forever associate with Brad, because they spoke to me about him during that period. Specifically, three that come to mind include:  In Your Eyes, by Peter Gabriel; You’re My Best Friend, by Queen; and Breaka My Stride, by Matthew Wilder (this last one has nothing much to do with the lyrics as for some reason, I remember that I was listening to this song on my Walkman the day we met Brad on the ski slopes years and years ago; another from that day was Owner of a Lonely Heart, by Yes).

Now, here’s the funny thing – looking back at this text, you would think I pined over him for awhile. I really didn’t; in fact, quite the opposite. He was my best friend, and that was how he was presented to all my friends – even my “other” best friends! And it was the same the other way around. This is the first time ever that I’ve dug down and verbalized all of what was in mind – actually in my heart and soul – all the way back to then. I’ve always been the most guarded and uncomfortable about things that are core and the most important to me; yet, I’ve always been a great confidante to others, and able to be the shoulder anyone needs to lean on.

I’m starting to wonder why. I mean, why I have two such defined sides to me, and why this has essentially been locked down, so deep that I haven’t ever been able to share it with anyone. Maybe it’s because the only one I would share it with – because he has always understood all the muck down there – is the one who all this was about. And I think once I felt like he’d hurt me – well, even though I knew most of that meant nothing, because it was really all developing ego – it was like I felt it was self preservation to lock all of this up and throw away the key. Because no one else would really understand – nor did (or have) I wanted them to. Plus, by the time I think we were really mature enough to talk about it, it was too late – because I think I was the one who really ended up hurting him that deeply, but even mores0. And I think in the end, it’s that knowledge that scarred me worse than any of this.

But we haven’t gotten to that part of the story yet.

Welcome!! Love & Light to You All!!

Purpose:  To share the experience of spirit crossovers in my last night’s dreams.  I hope that by sharing this that others will learn & be aware and if this happens to them, they will know what to do to help those spirits that need to be released into the light.

To share the experience of my husband’s, Tom’s, growing awareness.   In the past month, he has been working on communicating with his spirit guides and angels.  He asked them to come to me for messages for him also.  The dream I had last night shows that  if one wants to open the door to such wondrous communications, it is possible!

Comments:

I went to bed earlier than usual last night like 9:00 p.m.  When I do that, I tend to wake up at different times during the night and early a.m., which I did.  I also tend to remember my dreams with spirits.

Please see the Intro post to learn more about my psychic  & spiritual developments & spirit interactions to further understand the purpose of this blog, 

 PLEASE NOTE:  You may want to revisit this post at future dates as I may update it with additional info as I get it.

Namaste

  ********************

Dream of 11/28/09 Sat. Night Spirit Crossover: 4-year-old boy John Henry

In my dream I was laying in bed with my husband, Tom.  The setting of the bedroom was not my home bedroom.  There was a wooden bureau next to my side of the bed.  From behind it a young baby boy appeared.  He was on the larger side.  He was hefty. I tried to lift him but he was heavy.  He had red/brown hair and fair skin.  I ask Tom if he sees the baby boy. Tom says no.  I ask the baby if he needs to be crossed over.  He says he wants to go to heaven. He wants to be with his parents.  He says his name is John Henry.  He says he is four.  I think he appears much younger like he is a baby.   I don’t know why I ask him this but I ask him, if he wants to be with his brother.  He says that no, his brother is not there.   John Henry gets excited as he tells me this.  

In my dream I close my eyes and  I say “God, we are here right now, to release John Henry into the light.  I ask Archangel Michael to come and release him into the light for the highest good of all concerned.”  I waive my arms about with my eyes closed to create the white tunnel of light.  I open my eyes.  John Henry is gone.  

As I was saying my prayer to release John Henry into the light, I hear unknown male voices in the background.  Then when I am finished helping John Henry to cross over, I think I hear clapping and people saying “Yay!! He is crossed over”. 

Dream of 11/28/09 continued  My Husband’s Tom’s Spirit Interactions

After the crossover, I walk towards a part of the bedroom.  Tom is sitting in a chair with 5 older men like in their 50s  in a semicircle around him. These men came across as cronies to me.   Tom is talking to them about his father.   He is telling them how he helped his father with a bank mortgage issue, which Tom did in reality.  The 5 older men seem to be giving him some input and the month October or August is mentioned as a good month for something to happen.

Tom says that he sees every one of  them clearly, as if they were people. I tell Tom, “They are your spirit guides! Ask them their names!”.  I give Tom a piece of white paper that has doodles on it that I drew.   Tom writes the names down.  He then lies on the bed and says in disbelief that he cannot belief he saw them.  In reality, as I stated earlier he has been working on communicating with them.

 My daughter, Nikki, is scared of the spirits that have appeared.  She turns into her younger 6-year-old self. In reality she is a teenager.  I lift her up and hold her in my arms to comfort her  I ask her if she sees the spirits.  She says that she only sees some light.  

There are more spirits that come in on the other side of the bedroom.  They leave and walk across the hall to another room and close the door.  I am glad they close the door to muffle the noises that may come from there.   I decide to go into that room, still holding Nikki.  There are like 10-20 of them in there.  They are opening up the fridge and making food.  I sense it is a party.  I ask a male a question for advice for myself.  I ask what I can do when it appears that so many spirits are coming into my house.  I tell him it starts off with a  few and then many come.  He seems personally affronted.  He says that he travels in this pack and that he cannot just leave them.  I tell him, no, that is not what I mean.  Then I leave with Nicole in my arms.

Dream of 11/28/09  Spirit Lauris Who Doesn’t Crossover

After the above dream, I stay awake in bed for like 30 minutes.  Then I have the following dream. 

Tom, my husband,  and I are outside on a rooftop building. We decide to go inside.  When we go inside in the open foyer, I sense other people are there.  We go up a short flight of stairs off the foyer. There are a group of spirits 8-10 of them , various ages, male and female, sitting on a long white coach facing us.  Tom shakes people’s hands.  I was surprised by this.  Tom is very polite! 

A young attractive, slender girl in her early 20s with dark hair says that she is here to be crossed over.  I sense all the people there are there to support her in this. It is like an intervention. I ask her her name , and she says Lauris.  I ask if anyone else there needs to be crossed over.  They say no. Before I cross her over, I want to ask them a question to understand the spiritual realm. I ask how is it possible that a spirit that has not crossed over is able to hang out with spirits who crossed over. A young man in his twenties with long brown hair and glasses answers.  He says that there is so much love for Lauris.  They are not evil  that they would not just leave her by herself.

I see 2 cocker spaniel type dogs running around. I close my eyes and  I say “God, we are here right now, to release Lauris into the light.  I ask Archangel Michael to come and release him into the light for the highest good of all concerned.”  I waive my arms about with my eyes closed to create the white tunnel of light.  I open my eyes.    I see Lauris going thru a doorway in the adjoining room.  I follow her.  I sense the others following her in too. 

Lauris is kneeling at the foot of a queen sized bed.  She has a box of her memorabilia.  She is taking items out of the box and holding them and looking at them.  I say to her ” Lauris, you need to go into the light.  Everyone is waiting for you there”.  Lauris then says in a shrill, upset voice “Why didn’t you leave the key outside for me?”  .  A young woman with dark hair in her late teens or so, who is standing next to me, turns and says “She has problems”.

Then I wake up from my dream. I lay upset in my bed.  I feel I disappointed the spirits.  They came to me for help on crossing her over.  I ask Archangel Michael to leave the tunnel of white light open for her for when she is ready. Clairaudiently, I hear in my head to let it go.  I then ask Archangel Michael to give her some learning tools to help her cross into the light.  

Other Dreams of 11-28-09 With Spirit Interactions: Getting More Info on the Spiritual Realm

Later that night into the early a.m. hours of 11-29-09 I have other dreams with spirit interactions.  I am with 2 young black woman, possibly in their late teens or early 20s. I ask  if they are spirit guides. They say they are just hanging out.  I ask them if there were beings who greeted them at the end of the white tunnel when they passed.  They said, that, yes there was a white tunnel that they went thru.  The rest of the answer they gave was vague and I couldn’t make it out.

Black Friday. Today millions of shoppers hit the stores, hoping to snag a one-of-a-kind deal for Christmas. Some have stood in lines formed overnight anticipating the 4 a.m. store openings.

Yet, you can’t rouse that kind of motivation to get up early. Perhaps for a 10-point buck or a walleye, but not for crowded shopping mall. Nope. Instead, you’ll happily remain at home while the rest of the world tramples through mazes of over-promoted product only to return with the hollow satisfaction of saving money on something they may not have otherwise purchased.

Your satisfaction is so much sweeter. There are no lines in the living room, and there’s a whole roster of games and movie marathons to take in. Welcome to Slack Friday. Where there’s plenty of turkey sandwiches, pumpkin pie and the TV remote is king. It’s time to plug in and tune out. Way out.

Then you hear it. “No waiting! Aisle one.” You look around. Must have just been a commercial. What a relief, you think to yourself, to not be out among the maddening crowd. Back to the football action.

There. Again. Once more. “No waiting! Aisle one.”

You realize now that it’s not merely a voice you hear. It’s a prompting. And it’s coming from that leather bound best-seller sitting on your bookshelf. Suddenly you become aware of other voices, too. Familiar voices—those of your children. Yet, strangely, they are now somehow more than your children. They are hungry souls. That’s when it hits you. You are hungry too.

You will very rarely see me promote an organization on these pages.

I am a huge Compassion International advocate because I have an intimate knowledge of their organization—its values, its infrastructure, its financials—and the real-life impact it has on children.

But that’s just the thing. There are not that many organizations that I can personally vouch for. I won’t risk misusing my voice (however insignificant) to promote an organization I cannot personally say is the “real deal.”

Well, today I want to very briefly tell you about an organization that IS the real deal . . . and they need your help.

Living Hope Community Center in Cape Town South Africa is an organization run, in part, by an amazing man named Jon Thomas. I have had the privilege of hearing Jon speak twice and have shared a brief conversation with him; He is a man passionate about the “least of these.” My wife and I are even planning on spending some time at Living Hope next year.

Living Hope is truly special. They do too many things for me to list in this short post, but their primary work is working with a population truly decimated by AIDS. From their website:

Living Hope seeks to bring the hope and compassion of Jesus Christ to the chronically sick and dying in a holistic way and do everything possible to prevent the spread of HIV and AIDS.

In addition to helping spur economic development for the communities they work with, they also run a day school for children, which is HUGELY important for these kids living in the midst of extreme poverty.

And this is where you have the very real chance to make a difference.

The work Living Hope has been doing is so important they have actually been receiving funds from the US government and the UN over the past few years. This strikes me as amazing for a Christian organization. But it just goes to show how vital their work is in this area.

Our current presidential administration has decided to cut funding to Living Hope. This puts the day school for these poor children in a perilous position.

But you can help . . .

If you have a moment, please consider watching this short video, listening to Jon, then praying about your role in being a solution. If you cannot support them personally, please consider taking their cause to your church leadership, small group, or posting this video on your blog or Facebook page.

Watch this video, then, if you feel compelled, please go to Living Hope’s site to read about their DAD (Dollar A Day) program.

For some people, a quest may be encased in a religious experience—for others, it might be a crisis or a dramatic change in personal circumstances, such as a birth or death.  And while religion is the spark that lights the fire within some individuals, it can also imposed a limiting structure with rules and belief systems that interfere with true personal growth—especially  when the distinctions between religion and spirituality become blurred. 

We believe that our purpose in being here is to grow spiritually.  We do this in a variety of ways—none of which are better or lesser than others; but, rather, are chosen by us because we are at various stages of spiritual unfoldment.  The goals of peace, integrity, clarity, compassion and in particular, the balance between mind and body through personal and spiritual development are essential to spiritual development, regardless of the particular path one chooses to follow.  Spirit [God] is equally present in the job as in the remote mountainside.” 

In the end, setting out on a spiritual quest—may be less a choice than it is a necessity.  What often makes people begin a quest, is a feeling restlessness, and that something beyond is coming through to us, says Andrews.  Begin by seeing your intentions.  Set your intention to live a happier or fulfilling life.  Speaking strictly to that intention will lead us to being aware of guides or teachers around us,  someone who can help on the path.  Again, it’s essential to set your intention to reclaim your own happiness and connection with life.  I feel that the spiritual path to greater consciousness has been –part of the human experience forever, and always will be.  - Fit Yoga

In my last post, I shared the impact and importance of connecting with my son as his father by inviting him into my world and getting into his.  I’ve also tried to do the same with my daughters.  It’s been more of a challenge and I’m not sure I’ve succeeded but I can say, I’ve worked at it intentionally.

In addition to connecting to my children as their father, I have also worked at connecting my children to other adult men and women to help them mature.  As much as I want to think they just need my advice, I have come to understand, more than I want to admit, that it does indeed “take a village to raise a child” (just keep them away from the village idiot .

During the same year we celebrated my son’s entrance into manhood (see part 1), I also asked a few other men that I admire to speak into Bryan’s life during his 16th year.  One of them is a co-author on this blog, Leary Gates.  Additionally, he got connected to some other men of God who could speak to him with wisdom that I didn’t/don’t have and from personal experiences and perspectives of life that I couldn’t possibly offer.  The result has been that my son learned how to communicate, seek assistance and relate with older men.  My daughters have also had mentors enter into their lives to help shape and guide them.  These are relationships that will grow and flourish outside of our home.  And, I’m so thankful they have those relationships for seeking help, information and friendship.

Confession time — it wasn’t easy for me to invite other men into my son’s life.  There’s this little thing called “pride” that gets in the way of doing the things we should do.  While trying to connect Bryan with other men,  it meant laying down my sense of worth in trying to be the “perfect” father (like I could attain that anyway), and letting other men speak into his life.  If they gave him advice that I wished I had given or maybe didn’t agree with, my “nose got a little tweaked”.  Lessons around humility come from many places.  This was one of those that I had to learn–I don’t know it all.  My son is not mine to own but he’s on loan from God for a time to teach, lead and then launch.  He’ll ultimately spend a lot more time with others than he will with me.  Learning how to handle relationships and seek others for help, advice and camaraderie are critical to his maturing into full manhood.

The earlier you guide your children into relationships with other trusted, Godly adults, the more chance they have at learning what it really means to connect at deeper levels with other people.  It’s all part of the maturing process.  Here’s a little guide you can use as you search for these kinds of relationships for your children:

1. Pray.  Pray that God would give you names of men/women who would be positive role models and mentors for your children.  These might be people you know or those God puts in your life.  Start praying early–like when they’re in the womb .  If they’re already out, start today.
2. Talk to your son/daughter about things that interest them and areas they’d like to explore.  These are things that might help you with your prayers for them and who you could pursue to help them build on those areas.
3. For my wife and I, pursuing men and women who live fully devoted lives to Christ was key.  We believe that our children need to see how others live out their faith.  And, we want them to be able to ask honest questions as they pursue that area of their lives.  Sometimes carrying the title of “mom” or “dad” inhibits that kind of openness.
4. When you think you find someone, talk to your child about their willingness to meet this other adult?  Determine the setting and frequency that might be best.  If they are a bit older they can start to make those decisions for themselves.
5. Make sure that both you and the mentor recognize that they will have discussions that will need to be kept confidential and that it needs to be OK for that adult to withhold that information from you (unless to do so would damage the child in some way).  This kind of relationship comes out of trust between you both.  And, make sure your child knows that his/her relationship with the mentor will be kept confidential unless the child OK’s disclosure of discussion topics.
6. Be a mentor yourself!  Seek out younger men/women that God has placed in your midst and seek to invest in their lives.  You don’t have to be perfect to be a mentor.  You just have to care about others and be breathing.  Perfection is not what they’re seeking.  Caring men and women who have been where they are going is who they want to connect with.

Bottom line–Connecting is a multifaceted process.  You need to connect with your children as I shared in part 1 and you need to connect your children to other Godly men and women who can help them grow to maturity.  Parenting is not for the weak but it is meant to be done in community!

WHAT ABOUT YOU?– How has mentoring affected you or your child’s life?  How have you been positively impacted by someone who shared their life with you in a real and personal way?

This isn’t the post I was going to write. But, I’ll save it for another day . . .

I am at a conference in New Orleans. After a late night last night, the conference deosn’t start back up until tonight. So, today has been a productive day of catching up in a nice hotel room without the distractions of meetings and fires needing immediate “putting out.”

I just finished lunch, and was perusing my Google Reader when I came across a very thought provoking article by David Swanson on Christianity Today’s leadership blog, Out of Ur. The article was a good one, generally asking an question I often deal with about the nature of the Gospel and pure representation of it through public testimony. It was a thought provoking piece on how our methodology is affected by our theology (and vice versa).

I get to the end of the piece and was going to make a comment. That’s when I made the mistake of reading some of the other comments. They weren’t bad. Not nearly as offensive as you might see elsewhere. And they weren’t personally affrontive.

Some of them were just really critical. And not really critical of the real issue David was raising.

Two of the comments took specif issue with some of David’s characterizations of the people in the article, taking to time to sort of lecture about this or that . . .

The specifics really aren’t important. What kind of stopped me in my tracks is the realization of how critical we have become as a Church.

We have this wonderful medium, the Internet, that has been harnessed to create virtual environments where incredible knowledge is being communicated. Meaning is being created on the spot! Wonderful articles and sermons about culture, theology, praxis, and so much more occur on blogs and sites across the Internet.

But inevitably, each article ends and the comment section begins.

And here is where so often things get ugly.

In every single comment section on any meaningful post or site, there are “trolls,” people who use that little blank text box to attack and ridicule. They do not really offer any meaningful new information about the issue at hand. Many times, they will pick a tangential point made and use it to hammer home their personal soap-box speech about this or that. Instead of informing a discussion, whether it be with a dissenting viewpoint or a supporting one, they divide with their words.

One of my favorite writers, William Barclay, once wrote, “There is room in God’s Kingdom for different opinions.” I believe in the civil exchange of different ideas.

I welcome it.

What I have grown so weary of (and I mean truly weary, I cannot overstate this) is the culture of criticism that absolutely pervades Christendom. It has become a cottage industry.

I hate it. I really do. And it is almost enough to make someone despair.

Have we lost the spirit of Paul’s words in Ephesians 4:29 and 1 Thessalonians 5:11?

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up.”

There is room for healthy critique . . . but in the name and spirit of Christ.

There is room for discipline and rebuke . . . but only in accordance with the model set by Christ in Matthew 18:15-17 and Paul in Galatians 6:1.

There is absolutely no place for self-righteous criticism (aimed at another person or an entity made-up of people) that does not build up the individual or the Body.

I hate to be so blunt, but the old cliche comes to mind: If you aren’t part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. Certainly it is rarely this cut and dry, but the sentiment seems appropriate for this issue.

How would your interactions with the Church, with other specific believers, change if you measured everything you say by whether or not you were building the Church up, or tearing her down? Whether or not you were encouraging someone to think abotu a different view, or attacking what you perceive to be their shortcomings.

We have been tasked by Scripture to build each other up through our words.

I wish this were a truth we, the Church, felt compelled to embrace . . .

One Year New Testament for Busy Moms, November 20

James 4:1-17

Today’s portion of Scripture is full of verses that I have learned over the years.   The Word is so rich for teaching, correction, rebuke and training in righteousness.  But for today, the highlight in this passage for me is verse 8.   “Come close to God and God will come close to you.”  My mind immediately goes to pulling my children up close to me . . . so close that there is no light in the space between us.

I am sure that as mothers you love that experience as well.  You open your arms and tuck your child safely in beside you either for a story or for an extended hug and especially when nursing or giving a bottle.  This is a great opportunity to teach your child the verse and to demonstrate the tender love God has for each of his children.

There is a newer product on the market that allows mothers to nurse their babies while working on the computer or doing other work at a desk.   I’m all for productivity and convenience, but I think this product is dangerous and I’ll tell you why.

It can rob you  of the joy of coming close.  What is meant for convenience can actually get in the way of connection.   The blessing of attachment between mother and child is more than functional.  If eye contact, stroking, singing, and pure enjoyment of your child are allowed to have their time, both mother and child can make a strong attachment emotionally.  This is so necessary for the healthy development of children.  This is so necessary for the healthy development of the mother.

It is also necessary for the healthy spiritual development of God’s children.  There is no substitute for the time to come close to God.  Put away all your devices built for ease and convenience and draw close to Him and He will come close to you.

Heading here today . . .

I’m pretty pumped . . .

And I know you will be waiting for some really awesome posts in response, right?

Right?

Yesterday I read a post in the Sacramento Bee that Lindsay wrote for the Philadelphia Moms blog about her own pre-schooler. My hair stood on the back of my neck not only for their traumatic experience, but even more for her own paralysis in not knowing how to prepare her child before the mob attack on her 4-year old. Then today I read one from ABC News reporting that another pre-schooler ran away from his program, in what clinicians call going AWOL (absent without leave) The sad thing is I was also on ABC news for a pre-school client who did the same thing. When our most vulnerable have to be the ones to tell us that a lion is roaring at them, its time to stop listening to Super Nanny and the pre-school police and put him back in the Zoo!

This is exactly why I have co-authored a new book with my husband, called The 30 Day Parent Plunge, a Spirit-led journal for moms and dads who work from home. Parents are already talking about it and it just went to the editor yesterday.

“The steps on Day 6 are very good!”

                                      Saul Ceballos, Cynthia’s daddy 

Here’s an excerpt that shows why Lindsay and others like her need to get help. 

“Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants You have ordained strength, because of Your enemies, that You may silence the enemy and the avenger.” Psalms 8:2  

When the efforts of a team of highly qualified mental health professionals weren’t working, I was called upon to help with a parent they had labeled severely depressed. About this time, the toddler of this same parent bit a peer so hard that a visit to the emergency room was required to stop the bleeding.

It was then that the E.R. doctor asked, “What dog did this!” He could not believe that an 18-month old female could bite with that level of severity. Soon I found myself surrounded by a mob of angry parents all insisting that this child be expelled immediately! Yet I couldn’t help but wonder where this beautiful little cherub would find help, if not here in the same place her heart cry was first heard.

Convincing the parents to give me 2-weeks, I ran to my knees for help from God. After calling every expert in the county and getting nowhere, I finally made contact with the developmental psychologist from Children’s Hospital. After a warm conversation he could only wish me luck. Back then the psychiatric association wasn’t using adult mediation to… Underneath the Lord’s watchful eye my first client and I set up coaching sessions twice a week, both inside the classroom and one-on-one. Almost immediately mom sensed safety. She shared her true heart and I shared God’s heart for her. Then she shadowed me in the classroom and we quickly began trading places. Miraculously within days the biting stopped completely. She overcame the negative label she’d received, and their family’s peace was soon restored.

Ponder It

Under the medical model of dis-ease management there is no question that the toddler above would have been placed on the autism spectrum, along with so many others with far less severe behaviors. So what label would you have applied to this toddler, and why? 

My point is that it is importance of moms and dads to have have a strategy rather than allowing their children to raise themselves. Even ABC News recognizes my authority on the subject. The journal is being edited right now, and will hopefully be in print in time for Christmas. It was a miracle how things turned out for this young family, as it has been for the hundreds of others I’ve had the privilege of coaching for over 12 years. 

The 30 Day Plunge will show you how to apply the same approach with your child that God gave me well over a decade ago.

What labels are being spoken over your child right now? How are you responding to them as a parent?

So, I get to work this morning and in my inbox is an email from an old friend of mine. The time stamp on the email was last night at 2:45 AM.

The email starts off with my buddy saying he was having trouble sleeping when he felt God compelling him to pray for me. Because he is a faithful guy, he prayed for me. In the body of the email he included what he prayed for me.

This was his prayer:

I am praying for a hedge of protection to be placed around you and Brendt, your marriage and those awesome girls of yours. That Satan would have no place to break into your home. That peace, and love (not the 60’s kind) be the overwhelming feeling in your home. That the girls will come to know Christ at an early age and spend their lives serving him. That you and Brendt would and continue to be more and more accurate reflections of Christ to the girls, however imperfect that reflection might seem to be sometimes. That the your personal scope of influence would be increased greatly and that God would bless you and reveal himself to you and Brendt in a very real and powerful way this month.

Needless to say, I was floored.

It is a timely prayer for many reasons. But I was touched by two things:

1. That the Holy Spirit works in the lives of some to intercede for others. What a thought . . . the Holy Spirit urged someone to pray for me, in the middle of the night, several States away.
2. Christian community is awesome. How incredible is it that while I was sleeping, a saint was praying for me and my family?

Here’s the humbling part . . . I haven’t been a great friend to this guy lately. In fact, I’ve been a pretty crummy friend. I use excuses to explain why I don’t call or email. Which is super lame. My buddy reminds me often what it means to be a friend, what it means to be a brother in Christ.

He challenges me.

So here’s my challenge for you today:

• When was the last time you prayed for someone like this?
• Who in your life needs this prayer right now?

Let my friend’s example move you to stop what you are doing and pray for someone . . . And then, shoot them an email and tell them what you prayed.

You have no idea how encouraging this was for me today.

Be that encouragement for someone else.

By: Delana S

Whether your son or daughter has 6 years of school left or just 2 months, you may want to look at several ways you can help him/her prepare for life on his own.  There are several things you can do while  in your home country, others you can try right where you are, and there are also ideas for sending your child on short trips on his own.  Take the time now to set some goals for things you want to try this summer and in the upcoming school year.  According to Anne-Christine Marttinen, “International children are not children who belong everywhere.  They are children who know where they belong.”  As you seek to prepare your children (at whatever age they are) consider your own answers to the following questions.

1.  What do your kids need to know about their passport country, including relatives and others who live there? Ideas:  Share family stories and family history.  Have relatives send not only people pictures, but also magazines, news clippings, etc.  Share about the voting process.  While in your home country, visit some historical sites together, learn about national leaders and current affairs as well.  At age 12 our son began staying two weeks longer than us (or going two weeks earlier) to the US.  He flew as an unaccompanied minor with an escort. This allowed him to prepare some for independence. At 14 ½, he flew as an adult to the states and stayed for 2 months with grandparents.  He also took his first dual credit course at a community college.  These are some ways to aid in transitions.

2. How are you preparing your kids for social and practical living? Do they know how to go about making friends?  Do they know how to turn down inappropriate invitations?  Things to teach: calling emergency services, using a pay phone, laws for cycling and driving, using currency (including sales tax information), using or not using credit/debit cards or checks, opening a bank account, using an ATM, making appointments (doctor, dentist, barber), using unfamiliar household appliances (dishwasher, dryer), managing a budget, knowing how often to schedule certain things (physical check-up, dental, eye exams, car maintenance), preparing copies of personal health history.  As for their social needs, do they know currently popular movies, TV shows, music, slang (or colloquialisms), national sports (incl. info on various teams)?

3.  What kind of Spiritual Development preparation do they need? Do they know how to have a quiet time, what camps or retreats might they be able to attend, are there some churches you can visit together near where they will go to college?  Perhaps some of this can be done on a visit home a year or two before graduation.  Do they know about various denominations and what they teach?  Do they know about Mormons and JW’s and other groups that twist or add to the Word and aggressively proselytize?  Some of these things can be introduced while overseas or on visits home.

4.  What about decision-making? Do your kids know how you make decisions?  Do you flip a coin?  Do you list the pros and cons?  Do you seek God in prayer and His Word?  Have you involved them in your decision-making processes so that they can learn first hand how to do this?  This is something that must be taught.  We have to make a point to include our kids in these decisions.

5.  What do we do to prepare are kids for health/safety issues? It was mentioned above that they need to know about appointments and emergency numbers.  They should also know simple-first aid, CPR, what to do in case of fire or electrical shock, what to do in case of natural disasters, etc.  We have been teaching our children (little-by-little in age appropriate ways) about sex.  What we had not realized until one visit home was to what extent (and with what vocabulary) an average 9-12 year old knows today.  There were issues and items that our friend’s 5^th grade boy was being confronted with by very promiscuous girls, which we would have never imagined.  We would be doing our kids a grave injustice if we didn’t prepare them for confronting this.  Some of our kids won’t confront it so intensely until college, but some of you may be putting your children in a public or private school on home leave.  Prior to that time make sure you talk with your kids about these issues as well.  Find out from friends and educators what to expect before you go.

Thanks Ariana! It is more than simply another precedent to see a Black family in the highest office in the entire world, but their visual testimony alone motivates me to empower moms and dads within my sphere of influence too!
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Yesterday my daughter and I went on a date to the movies. Of the many films showing there were only two that seemed suitable for her age, so we chose A Christmas Carol. Less than 5-minutes into the move she tells me she’s scared. My first reaction was to ignore her because “I” wasn’t feeling that way. After all, when it comes to videos in generation nearly every parent tells me, “This is Disney so what could be wrong with that?” Thankfully I waited until my level I reaction had passed before I responded by telling her to pray as we walked out. Her joy in taking me over to the arcade to get a toy out of a machine overshadowed her fear in no time. I should have known that if an enjoyable comedy has teenagers talking about scenes that make them jumpy, that this would be magnified 100 fold for a young child. Since we left so soon, we were given passes to attend another movie. And last night my husband and I went to see it together.  

Not only is he a child at heart, Peter has learned to guard our spiritual wellbeing too. So when he got to the counter he did the same thing I had done for our pre-schooler when he asked the cashier, “What movie is playing that doesn’t have sex and violence in it?” We chose to see that same performance with actor Jim Carey. As the movie opened I heard what sounded like forced laughter from adults and only one or two small children. After that there was complete silence in the auditorium for the next hour and a half. Being raised on a regular diet of movies like, The Other it struck me that these children were as scared as I was growing up. Where else can you pack as many 2-6 years in a room for an hour and half without them saying a word? Just like for me, there wasn’t anyone willing to filter or protect them from what they were being exposed to.

Based on the number of parents and clients I’ve created alliances with, unfortunately the highly esteemed Mayo Clinic is making stuff up when it comes to the prevalence of uncontrollable night rages . How can it be a “relatively rare” occurence when it affects 1 in 3 of our children? I learned this from my interview with Dr. Tom Roberts, Chair of Child and Family Development at San Diego State University. Parents are telling me that it is lasting well over 30 minutes in some cases, and they can’t even wake them up! Obviously there is no way to encounter the intoxicating love of Christ at Christmas in this so-called Carol. Since the Obama’s Holloween celebration, I’ve heard rumors that there may not be Christmas at the White House after this year. Regardless of whether its true, if this was a true representation of God, I’d be running away from Him myself!

Agree or disagree? Where do you stand on this? Sound off below and pass it on!

What’s The Use Of Trials?

OPPORTUNITIES FOR SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT

The Christian faith, like the human body, requires exercise in order to keep healthy. Otherwise it will grow weak and useless (Jas. 2:14-26). The trials in our lives can be viewed as opportunities to develop our “spiritual muscles” in four areas of our lives.

Trials Develop Patience And Maturity
Besides prayer, the most common theme associated with suffering is that of developing patience, perseverance and endurance. In such times our faith is being exercised and tested and we become more mature (Jas. 1:2-4; 1 Pet. 1:6-7).

God does not want weak Christians who give up when they face difficulties. Instead, Paul says “we do not lose heart,” and he reminds others, “you stood your ground in a great contest in the face of suffering” (2 Cor. 4:16-17; Heb. 10:32 niv). The illustration in these verses is that of a contest or a battle. Near the end of his life Paul stated, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith” (2 Tim. 4:7).

Christ is the greatest example of perseverance: “Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart” (Heb. 12:3).

Patience is a characteristic of the divine nature (Gal. 5:22). Paul told the Thessalonians: “We boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring” (2 Th. 1:4). He also urged them to continue to persevere: “May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance” (2 Th. 3:5).

Another illustration is that of training and discipline within a family. Here God is viewed as a parent disciplining a child: “God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Heb. 12:10-11).

So God uses trials and hardships to mold and refine our character, like metal is refined and molded in a furnace. Through these we learn what is most important in life, and our values, priorities, attitudes and behavior are developed. We are transformed and God’s image and likeness are more evident in us (2 Cor. 3:18). This vision of maturity enables believers to joyfully endure trials and suffering (Rom. 5:3-5; Jas. 1:2-4).

For example, David faced adversities in preparation for being king of Israel. His perseverance in facing the opposition of wild animals (like the lion and bear), enemies (like Goliath), and countrymen (like Saul and his men), gave him the experience which developed his skill to lead his nation.

Trials Increase Reliance On God
Paul saw that the reason for the hardships that threatened his life in Asia was, “that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead” (2 Cor. 1:9). He knew that God supplies all our needs (Phil. 4:19).

The Bible also states that: “He who has suffered in his body is done with sin. As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God” (1 Pet. 4:1-2). Physical suffering makes us realize that we are accountable to God and we need to live for Him.

Paul understood that he was given the “thorn in the flesh” so that he would acknowledge Christ’s power rather than take the credit himself and become proud. As Christ’s power is more evident in times of human weakness, Paul delighted “in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties” (2 Cor. 12:7-10).

Similarly, Paul could write that our bodies are likened to “jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body” (2 Cor. 4:7-11). Due to physical weakness we learn to persevere by God’s power and not our own strength.

Trials Encourage Care For One Another
God calls on His people to support those facing trials and troubles through helping, praying and comforting.

°Helping: We are to “share with God’s people who are in need” (Rom. 12:13; 2 Cor. 8:13-14; 2 Cor. 9:12). In fact, “if anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him,” then he is not behaving as a Christian should (1 Jn. 3:17).

Paul thanked the Philippians for sharing in his troubles and sending him aid (Phil. 4:14-18). He also remembered those who helped him when he was in prison (Phile. 12-13). The principle is to “remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering” (Heb. 13:3). This could include standing side by side with those who are being persecuted (Heb. 10:33).

°Praying: When Peter was in prison, “the church was earnestly praying to God for him,” although they were surprised by his miraculous escape (Acts 12:5). And Paul was confident that the Corinthian church’s prayers helped to deliver him from hardships and suffering (2 Cor. 1:10-11). He also asked others to pray for his struggle against unbelievers (Rom. 15:30-31).

°Comforting: We are told to “rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (Rom. 12:15). As God comforts us in our troubles, we in turn can comfort those facing trials and difficulties (2 Cor. 1:3-4).

Trials Strengthen The Church
Christianity has flourished under persecution. For example, when the early Church was being persecuted, the Christians left Jerusalem and evangelized wherever they went (Acts 8:1,4). This resulted in Christianity being spread across the Roman empire.

When Paul was imprisoned he was glad that the gospel was being preached by others and that his Christian faith was widely known (Phil. 1:12-18).

The Church is also strengthened in difficult times as more believers grow towards maturity and realize their dependence upon God and express this through prayer and praise. There is also an increase in care for each other by helping, praying, and comforting.

Finally, we must keep in mind that our troubles are insignificant when compared to eternity with Christ (2 Cor. 4:17-18). We always need to view the present in the context of a vision of the eternal.

By George Hawke

With permission to publish by: Sam Hadley, Grace & Truth, 210 Chestnut St., Danville, IL., USA.

Website: www.gtpress.org

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Several years ago, I faced the classic entrepreneur’s dilemma: I needed help but believed that I couldn’t afford to hire anyone. So I didn’t. I didn’t want to get over my head financially.

But instead of over my head financially, I ended up over my head in work. My first challenge showed up in the form of a horseback-riding accident during which I broke my arm. For about two months, I had a limited ability to work. If I’d had someone in place, I might not have made a profit, but that person helped me to keep my business moving instead of grinding darn near to a halt, as it did for a while.

My second challenge occurred following my physical recovery, when I was determined to make up the lost ground financially. At that point there was too much to do and too few hours during which one person could get it done. I spent more time than I’d like to admit spinning in circles, unable to make any real progress toward the next phase of my Spiritual Calling. This happened because I held onto tasks and activities that I really needed to hand over to someone else. Not surprisingly, during this time I lost some of the joy that generally accompanies my work, as tasks I’d performed too many times (but that another person would have found exciting) began to bore me.

Had I hired someone part-time, as Spirit was directing me, I not only not only would have benefitted from having assistance when I needed it, I would have offloaded projects and activities that I’d already mastered, allowing me to step into the next level of my Calling and someone else to step into the next level of theirs. Additionally, I would have been able to rest, an essential (in)activity of the creative process.

So here’s what I learned the hard way:

1) The small part of me (my ego) has a way of making up stories to convince the large part of me (my spirit) to stay in check (read: stay small). In reality, I learned that had a lot more money in savings than my ego was telling me that I had. I learned this when dipped into it during a few slow months earlier this year. I was surprised that the money I spent went a whole lot farther than I’d believed it would.

2) Had I invested in another person when I first got the inkling, I would have ventured into new areas of my Calling that not only would have excited me, but would have insulated me from the meltdown. In fact, had I moved in the direction in which God was calling me, I would have been able to offer a service to people impacted by the Recession. As a result I would have thrived during the downturn. Fortunately, my services are still needed, but now I’m “a day late and a dollar short,” as the old folks would say. And my failure to step into the next phase of my Calling on time caused others to experience unneeded suffering.

3) Now I understand that I am to move on God’s Call when I first hear and feel it, not after my ego has become comfortable with the idea and has figured everything out and has put plans in place. If I wait for my ego, I will miss my moment — God’s moment — time and time again.

4) That I will be challenged to practice what I preach time and time again, although each time on a higher level.

Now older and wiser,

Hilary

For: The Essentials Course Online Worship Course with Dan Wilt

Essentials Red Final Project: My Matthew 5 Prayer Labyrinth video can be viewed on YouTube ( <— please click on the link)

For Essentials Red, our first week’s discussion on sacred spaces brought to mind a beautiful stained glass window, in an old 1827 Lutheran church, in downtown Lancaster, PA, USA. I admired their windows as we set up for leading worship at at Power and Love conference last summer. During the beginning of worship, everything on the platform turn golden as the sun blazed through the stained glass window immediately to the side of us. I looked up to see where the light was coming from and it was so bright you couldn’t look into it. While the sun was still in it, I was able to take a couple pictures of the window, which contains a verdant vine, abundant grape clusters and a gold chalice.

The sacred space idea was coupled with finding and experiencing a prayer labyrinth in Camp Hill, PA. USA. The labyrinth was designed and built by a seminary student as a required project and was noted in our local newspaper. The labyrinth’s design is a copy from a prayer labyrinth in an old French cathedral.

Out of the influence of Essentials Blue and Green, came an idea for developing a prayer liturgy asking God for the character of the Kingdom of God, described in Jesus’ Beatitudes, from Matthew 5.

My Essentials Red project combines the beauty and symbolism of the sacred art from the stained glass windows, with the prayer labyrinth, my prayer liturgy and the Scripture verses from the Beatitudes, to create the virtual prayer labyrinth experience contained in video. To the video, I added my own music composition containing a cedar flute based on the design of flutes used by Native Americans.

I thought a lot about the symbolism contained in the window and the blaze of light that originally drew my attention to it. For me, there is a symbolic linkage of the gold cup, reminding me of Communion and connectedness to Jesus, with the profuse abundance of fruit (grapes) and the vivid green of the leaves, expressing richness and fullness life in Jesus. From sacred space, time, prayer, Scripture, sacraments, music and art comes spiritual growth, leading to a fruitful, abundant life.

I would use the video as a stand-alone piece to help people reflect on the character of the Kingdom of God, and to help them consider praying for the Kingdom of God to come more in themselves. Please refer to http://mightyrivermusic.wordpress.com for the full Matthew 5 Project liturgy and prayer.

On the technical side, I brought up my original photograph of the church window on my computer, and with the room lights off, shot the video clips of the stained glass window with my iPhone. The prayer labyrinth clips were taken with my Canon PowerShot SD880 IS. I used iMovie to combine the clips and Logic Express 8 to record the music track.

We go through seasons in our spiritual development. At least I do.

I have been in a season where God has been teaching me about the need for community, and what true community looks like.

I am in a great small group, really for the first time in a while. I have taught teenagers in small groups for years. This year my wife and I decided to take a year off and join an adult small group. While I miss teaching teenagers on a weekly basis, I have been so strengthened and encouraged by the community that I have found with this new group of believers.

So, I have been thinking about how to define, or quantify the idea of community.

What is the biblical blueprint for community?

More importantly, how can a small group transform from a disconnected group of individuals into a biblical community?

When I considered this question, I automatically turned to Acts 2:42-47 and Acts 4:32-35. (I allude to this here, as well.) Looking at these wonderful passages, we get such a great view of the fledgling Jerusalem Church. Through their example, I think we see the amazing potential small groups have for developing real community. I have developed a diagram that helps me think about it.

Here’s the diagram followed by a short explanation:

Proximity and Frequency: At the heart of the definition, the foundation if you will, is frequency and proximity. Acts 2:42 says the believers were “devoted to fellowship.” I use proximity to refer to fellowship. Fellowship cannot happen unless we are close to one another, both in a figurative and literal sense. And for fellowship to develop, proximity has to happen frequently.

Acts 2:46 says the believers met “every day.” Fellowship is the foundation of community. And it doesn’t happen unless you are meeting, person to person, regularly.

Accountability, Transparency, Generosity: Fellowship (proximity + frequency) is the foundation for the key characteristics of biblical community: Transparency, Accountability, and Generosity. Acts 2:44-45 says, “All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need.” There is great transparency here. These believers did not hesitate to openly bring their needs to the group. They were not concerned about image.

There is generosity here, as well. These believers put others needs above their own worldly possessions. (This generosity is demonstrated in Acts 4:32-35, as well.)

To find accountability, I go over to James 5:16, where James writes: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” As I stated in an earlier post, accountability is designed to happen within biblical community. If  a small group is “one in heart and mind,” as the church is described in Acts 4:32, then accountability comes naturally. Accountability is the by-product of biblical community.

Compassion: Over all of these things flies the banner of compassion. Transparency, accountability, and generosity are all contrary to our human nature. These are great challenges. The temptation is to sit in judgment of our brothers and sisters as they are transparent, or as we are being held accountable. Compassion must rule! I find the best expression of this in Paul’s words to the Galatians in chapter six, verses two and three: “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself.” If there is no compassion, there can be no true transparency, accountability, or generosity. There can be no fellowship.

Committed to Spiritual Growth: Finally, for a small group to become a biblical community, there must be a commitment to spiritual growth. Acts 2:42 says “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching.” Acts 2:46 says “Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts.” Acts 4:33 says “With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus.”

It is an elemental presupposition that a desire to grow spiritually must form the underlying foundation of any small group that desires to become a biblical community. Without it, you’re just hanging out. You’re no different than any other group of people that gather. And the goal of any biblical community is to grow together towards Christ-likeness.

Well, there you have it.

I wonder what you think? What did I miss?

I wonder what your group looks like when you apply this?

When we begin to appreciate the nature of God as the infinitely perfect Creator who deserves all praise, then our hearts will not rest until we give him glory.—Wayne Grudem

Here’s something fun to think about . . .

What does God want? What does He desire?

Scripture answers this question in a variety of ways. But there is one thing that God desires that comes up a lot in the Bible.

God wants all the world to know of His glory.

Here, let me show you . . .

God desires that His glory would be revealed among the nations . . .

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens! Let your glory be over all the earth! (Psalm 57:5)

Sure . . . But isn’t defining God’s glory kind of tricky? Well, yes and no. The Hebrew word that translates word “glory” is kabod. It means “weightiness, abundance, and riches.” Think of the weightiness of all that God is . . . Think of the combination of all His attributes, His majesty, His power, His nature . . .

Now think of what it would be like to reveal all of this, to communicate God in the fullness of His character.

This is God’s glory! The revelation of all that He is.

And God desires that this, His glory, be made known in all the earth.

So, what do you think about that? Is His glory being made known on the earth?

Hold that thought . . .

The cool thing is that it’s happening in heaven . . .

Ascribe to the LORD, O heavenly beings, ascribe to the LORD glory and strength. Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name; worship the LORD in the splendor of holiness. (Psalm 29:1)

The angels and the saints who have gone before us are making God’s glory known.

Something else cool? God’s glory is being revealed in nature . . .

The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. (Psalm 19:1)

Created things attest to God’s glory . . .

But what about us? How can we make this happen? How can our lives be given over to revealing God’s glory to the world?

We can do it through our words . . .

Shout with joy to God, all the earth! Sing the glory of his name. (Psalm 66:1)

My mouth is filled with your praise, and with your glory all the day. (Psalm 71:8)

Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples. (1 Chronicles 16:24)

And, we can do it through our actions . . .

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. (1 Corinthians 10:31)

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 5:16)

So, let’s review . . .

God wants His glory revealed.
It’s being revealed in heaven. Right now. As you read this.
Creation is revealing it at all times. Even today.
And we can play our part by revealing His glory through our words and actions.

Simple enough?

OK, then ask yourself these questions . . .

How will you reveal God’s glory today or this week? In other words, what will you do to communicate in words or actions who God is? Or how God is?
Who in your life needs to know God more? What is keeping you from revealing Him to them?

You have been given this day. It is a gift. Make it count for God.

He is worthy of it.

Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. (1 Chronicles 29:11)