I worked out biceps, triceps, and shoulders in the gym today. Barbell curls, preacher curls, french press, tricep pull down, shoulder routine, pull ups and dips. Good workout, my arms are pretty exhausted.

After this I did a sprint workout. 20 x 40 yard sprints. Full recovery. This works on top speed. Rest in between reps was about 2 minutes. I did this with a friends and we were able to push each other to keep going at top speed.

Outdoor Stadium Workout

Warmup) Light footwork drills.

Then) 4 Rounds:

• Alternate between 400m (1/4 mile) run / 50 Squats

WOD) TABATA 100 yard sprints

• Sprint 100 yards, rest 10 seconds
• Repeat 7 more times.

Next) Random Fun around the stadium…not too organized.  Just keep moving for 20 minutes performing these exercises:

1. Stair sprints
2. push-ups
3. squats
4. bench dips
5. step-ups

Finish) 4 rounds:

• Alternate between 400m (1/4 mile) run / 25 squats

Cool down) walk around track, look up at the beautiful night sky, breathe in the fresh (albeit cold) air.

It was nice to change the scenery tonight and get out to the track.

Be Well,

-Max

Moving on to a new set of lifts: two upper bodies and a lower body each week. The lower body:

Deadlift, Dynamic Lunge, Step Up.

Sets and reps will vary from 6×3 to 2×25. It will be brutal. Going to start featuring some longer runs and sprint stuff as well (weather and track-availability permitting).

A note on sprints: the longest sprint we do in Snertz is a 40 yarder, and this is by design. Ultimate is at it’s core an anaerobic sport: major exertion over short intervals. On the track, try to keep it below 400m at all times, and even these should only be done early in the season as you’re working down in distance and up in speed. Your last workouts should be as close to 100% speed over 50-100m intervals.

With the holiday season coming up, I want to really kick my work outs into high gear, knowing well enough that I will be eating and drinking my way through the next month. That’s why I signed up for Andrea’s Build and BURN class Monday in Cambridge. The hour long session and the exercises themselves are intense and help me look good and feel good. In this particular session, I also gained some mental reinforcement for workouts to come.

It happened when Andrea said, “You can do anything for 30 seconds.” That’s what she continued to say for the duration of the class. She reminded us of this while we were racing uphill, performing burpees and holding planks. The more I thought about that fact, that yes, I could do anything for 30 seconds, the easier it was to perform these exercises. Sometimes I find that when I’m doing a longer cardio workout, one where I know I am going to be running a long distance, I tend to play mind games. I discourage myself, or change my goal for the run, usually saying to myself that I will just stop short if I have to. But with this new mantra, going the distance (literally and figuratively) will be more manageable.

Thinking about this shortened challenge, to concentrate only on the next 30 seconds, really helped me build my physical and mental endurance. While working up to a sprint, I just considered how short 30 seconds really was and before I knew it I had worked up to a full sprint, 30 second increments the whole way, and headed back down to a my recovery pace without even noticing. Thirty seconds became nothing.

- Kate

How do you do to get over a mental obstacle while you workout?

Productivity is all the rage

We hear of drilling our inbox down to zero.  We hear about agile sprints and personal kanbans.

All these productivity systems have one thing in common.  Finish what you start and don’t start what you cannot finish.

Work cycles

Now some poor unfortunates have job cycles of 20 seconds.  These jobs are mindless.

Others have job cycles of between 30 seconds to 10 minutes.  They are called managers. (You didn’t know that?  Now, you do.  Professor Mintzberg of McGill University brought that to our attention a long time ago.  When you work with managers, break things into small pieces for them!)

Others have long job cycles.  University lecturers have “seasons” of 7 years – from sabbatical to sabbatical.  That is the time it takes to write a proposal, get funding, do the work, write it up and publish it.  They give lectures that are 50 minutes long.

If they are wise though, they remember that they are human and few of us can concentrate for longer than 10 to 15 minutes. Hence, a university lecture is broken into five parts.

• What this lecture is about.
• First chunk of theory
• Change-up – change pace, delivery style and activity of students
• Second chunk of theory
• Memorable conclusion

Design what goes in to your job cycle

The secret of any job, I think, is breaking it into parts that fit our ability to start and stop and link it to other parts.

3 components of jobs design

Job design is about modularization and all 3 things matter

• Our attention span and the features of our “box” – the human body.
• The size and shape of the piece that we are working on
• The way we link one piece to another to make a coherent whole.

The 4 time wasters in badly designed jobs

When we get any of the3 features of job design wrong, then we create 4 inefficiencies.

• We spend the 15 minute chunk working out what we are supposed to be doing rather than doing it
• We do the wrong task because the linking mechanisms are sending us the wrong messages
• Our attention is split or frayed with fatigue and our work is poor and has to be re-done
• Or the task we are doing isn’t bundled properly and we cannot start, finish and put it back in the pool in one pass.

The job of managers and job designers

Inefficient managers tend to think that problems with productivity are to do with the way the task itself is done.  Sometimes that is the case.  To play tennis well, I practice the same shot over and over again.  Training time is important.

Most times, we are wasting time because we cannot start and finish something completely.  And on big tasks, we haven’t broken the task into modules that can be started, finished and handed over.

There is a genius to managing work.  And there is an explanation about why some teams get done more than others.

They aren’t having to redo work.  Everything is handled once, by the first person who touches it. And never again.

Hola! (Do you ever find it awkward to be writing a hi, hey, or hello, at every single post. Maybe I will stop. Rebel blogger.)

Today was a really good day. I was in a good mood for the first half, and a bad mood the second half(due to being tired mostly.)

Workout

I started off the day with some boxing!! It was SO much fun. We sparred today for the first time. A 60 year old man kicked my ass, but it’s cool. I also sparred with 3 other people, one of whom was my instructor. He started talking shit to me at the end to get me to hit him harder, he knows me too well haha.

We started off with 2 minutes on, 1 minute off, and then half way through the class, we had no more breaks.  I seriously had no energy left by the time the 60 minutes was up. I felt like I had gotten hit by a stampede, and then reaped of any and all awakeness that I had prior to the class.

The verdict? Most fun boxing class to date. I shall return

Afterwards, my friend talked me into going to tan at her work. If you know me at all, you know I do NOT do tanning beds. I am against them in every way, shape, or form, but maybe the boxing lowered my inhibitions. I am not against tanning in the sun(although I am aware of the skin cancer dangers and try not to over-do it), but I live in Arizona and paying for a tanning bed is just dumb. We have sun almost every day of the year. Talk about stupid spending. Anyways, i tanned for free and I’m pretty sure my arm pits are burnt. What is hotter than that? The sweet zits that keep popping up on my face. Are ya still with me??

I dragged my toasted body to the gym afterwards to lift. Today was Chest/Biceps.

Chest was mostly machines. Chest flys, cable flys, hammer strength incline press, EZ bar curls, DB curls, Preacher curls(machine). Why so many machines? My trainer chose them, not me. I let him take the reins of my workouts this week. We finished up with some ab work.

This afternoon I did a sprint workout and realized how dead my legs are from yesterdays Stump Day. It was still a good workout, but I was just exhausted in general. I may or may not be getting faster with my sprints. Most likely not, but a girl can dream right?!

Nutrition

Meals were good today, but the balance was a little weird. It still turned out good in the end.

M1: 1 egg, 5 whites

M2: 4 oz. ground turkey burger

M3: Protein Shake

(all protein, not ideal.)

M4: 4 oz. ground turkey burger, 1 carrot, green beans, and a Flax Cracker(just flax and water)

M5: Protein Ice Cream

M6: 4oz ground turkey burger, 1TBSP PB, mustard, and a broccoli/cauliflower mix.

M7: Protein Ice Cream(addict much?)

It seems like a lot of food, but only 1658 calories worth. It was also a low carb day if you didn’t notice. Two more low carb days and then carb day is Sunday!

I’m off to go pack food for tomorrow and then be in bed by 9. I am working out at 530am and then working until 1 or 2pm. Should be a good time

Good night!

There’s a subtle difference between emphasis being place on Speed-Strength as opposed to Strength-Speed.  Ideally, the power generation produced by a given exercise/movement performed in each modality would be the same, though.  A quick observation of the meatball power equation (really, this is all we need be concerned with) reveals that, assuming the exercise/movement distance remains constant (and we will – the distance of movement in one’s deadlift, for example is, for all practical purposes, always the same), all we have to manipulate is execution speed and external loading.  For any given loading, an increase in execution speed results in an increased power output; that’s speed emphasis in a nutshell.  Now, increase the loading without realizing a reduction in execution speed and,  ah-ha, we’ve further increased power output.  Fine tune this with some auto-regulation with an eye toward maximum power generation in your desired rep range.  Once execution speed begins to falter, pull the plug on the exercise.

Here’s what went down at 6:15 this morning at the Rocky Mount, NC YMCA:

15 minute, sprint/plyo-intensive warm-up with plenty of dynamic stretching, then -

• cns prime: sprint starts, 20 meter/20 meter/40 meter/20 meter, approx. 5 sec pause between each start
• GHR (glute/ham raise): 45 x 5; 60 x 5, 4; 65 x 4, 3
• Barbell Muscle-up: 115 x 5; 135 x 5; 145 x 4, 4, 3
• cns prime: reverse grip to regular grip muscle-up combo (pull-up variety) x 2
• weighted reverse grip pull-ups: 45 x 5; 90 x 3, 3, 3, 2

5 total rounds.  Speed on the concentric portion of every rep was fast as possible.

A couple of questions I hear in person, or field via email:

“Dude, you do a lot of pull-ups…”

I consider pull-ups analogous to sprints for the upper body – the most fundamental of fundamental movements.

“Dude, you do a ton more posterior chain work than you do quad/squat work…”

1. I do a lot of fixie riding, which is mostly quad-intensive work.

2. It is my contention that the body is designed more for “pulling” in this fashion than it is for squatting.  I know well the arguments to the contrary, and I agree that every human being squats while taking a dump.  However, I don’t know of many cultures that take a dump with 500+ balanced upon their backs.  Seriously, though – I personally gauge lower-body performance in terms of sprinting vertical jump ability; in my experience, increasing one’s squat past a certain point (2 x bw is a general rule of thumb) doesn’t do much for an increase in speed or vert height.

Last time, I shared a non-apparatus training routine for upper body. In this post, we’ll concentrate on lower body.

Sprints/Lunges

Sprinting uphill is a great hamstring, quad, and calf builder. You’ll always want to warm up prior to sprinting with a light jog. You’ll do a series of sprints, increasing your speed with each consecutive sprint until you eventually get to the point where you are running as fast as you can up the hill. Be sure that you find a steep hill. A slight hill will not build the desired level of muscle. You’ll increase the number of sprints you do over time in each session. You might start with 10 sprints per session, then work to 12, then to 15. Aim to do sprints at least twice per week.

An alternate to uphill sprints are step or stair lunges. In this technique, you will lunge up stairs or steps. You will begin at the bottom of a set of stairs and as you lunge, you will lunge over one step. This means that you skip a step with each lunge. Be sure that you are moving slowly and controlled. Aim to find steps which will allow you to complete 20-22 lunges. When you reach the top, your heart will be beating almost out of your chest, but by the time you walk back to the bottom of the stairs, you should feel ready to go again.

I’ve used non-apparatus techniques in my own career and found that they’ve made a huge difference. I’ve used them for periods of 6-8 months at a time, relying mostly on hill sprints for leg work. At a contest following use of non-apparatus techniques in training, someone came up to me and asked what I had been doing differently—that I must have been doing something special to be in that kind of shape. Needless to say, they were very impressed and I think you will be too when you implement these techniques in your own training.

You’ll have to be willing to do these techniques by yourself, as you won’t find many people who will be willing to run uphill sprints with you. These techniques are brutal, but in the end, they will definitely pay off. I’ve seen my leg press increase by 50 lbs. by doing nothing but lunges. I discovered this by accident when due to an injury I was unable to do squats. I decided to do lunges one-leg-at-a-time across a parking lot. I did this for about 8-9 weeks. When I came back from my injury and saw the dramatic gains in my leg press strength, I realized for the first time what a powerful tool lunges are.

I am eager to share more with you about lunges and how they can take the look of your legs to the next level. In my next blog post, I’ll have more info about different kinds of lunge techniques to mix up your training and keep your leg muscles challenged.

Until then, keep training hard.

Jack King

Three miles in 22.5 minutes is the benchmark for recruits on the Potential Royal Marine Course.  The run takes place on the road in the hills surrounding Lympstone, home of Commando Training Centre.

Having slogged up and down those hills myself, I can testify that they aren’t kind to the quads.  As documented in the home tests posts, my leg strength and explosive power leaves a lot to be desired.  So to be able to meet my running objective (3 miles, 22.5 minutes, regardless of terrain), will be a challenge.  It will also serve a secondary purpose, improving my vertical jump score.  Plus auxiliary benefits of fat loss and general conditioning.  But how to achieve all this?

What I’m not going to do is go and run three miles every other day, and get annoyed when I don’t get any faster.  To train for this specific objective, I’m going to need a specific training program, incorporating sprints and hill work.  Not particularly fun, but at least brief.

Before that however, I’m going to need a base level of fitness.  Which can only be built up by mileage.  So I need to run.  Twice a week at first, possibly building up to three times a week.  Distance wise, I think starting at two miles (something I know I can achieve) would be a good idea.  That should take about 15-20 minutes, not including dynamic and static stretching.  Probably about 40 minutes overall.  That’s not such a bad chunk to lose out of the day, providing I do it properly.  Once I’ve completed a couple of weeks at 2 miles, I can start increasing the distance.  After that, incorporation of sprint sessions, hill work etc will increase leg power at a higher rate than simply slogging up and down the roads every day.

So for the next two weeks (starting Monday):

• Run 2 miles twice a week (week 1)
• Run 2 miles three times a week (week 2)

All runs to include dynamic stretching warm ups and static stretching cool downs.

Research shows that doing as little as 3 half-hour sprint exercise sessions per week had the same beneficial effect on cardiovascular health as 5 hour-long exercises. Each sprint session consisted of sprinting for 30 seconds up to 6 times. This was interspersed with a 4.5 minute rest interval. The outcome of this study may help address the time concerns of busy individuals who need a short exercise routine to help them become healthier. The biggest problem with most people when it comes to exercise, is a lack of time.

No Time for Exercise

A lot of people claim that they would exercise more if they had more time. I think it’s just a misappropriation of priorities. Time and time again, I have seen busy people who could never find time for exercise, suddenly put it as a top priority after a mild heart attack. Some people need a wake-up call. Some times, the wake up call comes too late.

Lack of Exercise Related to Cardiovascular Diseases

Major cardiovascular diseases include coronary heart disease, stroke, heart failure and peripheral vascular disease. The American Heart Association states that exercise reduces risk of cardiovascular disease. Relative risk of coronary heart disease associated with physical inactivity ranges from 1.5 to 2.4. The increased risk is comparable with that observed for high cholesterol, high blood pressure and cigarette smoking.

Endurance  and Interval Training

Endurance training are exercises such as jogging, cycling, swimming or the like, that you do at a steady pace for a prolonged period. The exercise duration could be up to 1 hour. These are the type of exercises that most people are accustomed to doing.

Interval training or sprinting is a kind of exercise where one performs a cardiovascular exercise at the highest intensity possible. Most of the steady state cardiovascular exercises such as running and cycling could be done via this regime. It consists of a sprint interval where you would exert the hardest you possibly can. This is followed by a rest interval where you would reduce your intensity to catch your breath and get prepared for the next sprint.

Endurance and Interval Training Improve Cardiovascular Health

As we age, our arteries become stiffer and less elastic. The arteries lose their ability to dilate. This results in higher blood pressures and cardiovascular diseases. According to the study conducted in McMasters University and published in the American Journal of Physiology, both endurance and sprint training improved markers of cardiovascular health. This included reducing arterial stiffness and improving the ability for arteries to dilate. The impact was significant. The exercise regimes were broken down as follows;

Endurance Training  – 40 to 60 minute cycling at 65% of maximum intensity. Done 5 times a week

Interval Training – 30 second sprint followed by 4.5 minute rest. Each exercise consists of 6 cycles. Done 3 times a week

Initial studies in patients with Coronary Artery Disease and chronic heart failure have shown the effectiveness of a high intensity training regime may be greater compared with traditional endurance training regimes. High intensity aerobic interval training is now being recommended for several disease populations.

Interval Training as a Time Effective Health Solution

The interval training regime in the study above takes approximately 30 minutes. Each of the 6 cycles consist of a 30 second sprint and a 4.5 minute rest cycle. Total time taken is 5 minutes per cycle. The beauty of the interval training is that the rest cycle could be reduced as your fitness increases. The rest cycle could be reduced to 1 minute. As a result, the same exercise could be reduced to 9 minutes done 3 times a week. Compare this to doing 5 exercise sessions  of 40 minutes each of endurance training to get the same cardiovascular health benefit.

People looking for a short and intense exercise can ultimately get maximum health benefit by doing sprints with 1 minute rest intervals. In a matter of 10 minutes, one would have derived all the positive benefits of exercise on cardiovascular health.

Tags: American Heart Association, cardiovascular health, coronary heart disease, cycling, endurance training, high intensity interval training, interval training, jogging, sprints, swimming

Not much to this intra-holiday, impromptu workout; just wanted to get out and move around a bit, shake out the “traveling” legs.  It happened to be rather cold out, so I lengthened the sprints up to 200 meters.  As the sprints took place on asphalt, I was forced to wear my Nike Frees.  Not exactly barefoot, but well and away better than typical running/cross-training shoes.  After some fixie intervals about town, I did the following:

• 200 meter sprint/strides x 2
• 20 bodyweight dips

5 rounds.  Approximately 20 seconds recovery between sprints, and between sprints and dip sets.  This kicked my ass, as it works an energy system that I’m unaccustomed to working.

Hello winter

I think a lot of people, myself included, get into ruts at the gym because we tend to do the same workouts every time we exercise. Instead of mixing up workouts, we end up only running on the treadmill or only lifting weights. We tend to not have the time to mix up the workout with some cardio and weight training.

The lack of combining weight training and cardio slows down progress but with a Healthworks BURN class you can amp up the workout and see results. BURN classes are small group workout sessions with an emphasis on interval cardio and strength training. (Definition). Fortunately, for each new member at Healthworks, they receive a complimentary BURN session.

This past week I tried out Jakki’s BURN Baby, BURN class that is offered Tuesday nights at 7 p.m. in Cambridge. A personal trainer and Ride instructor, Jakki exudes energy and inspiration, so I was excited to train with her. Here’s a look at the one-hour work out we completed.

To start the workout, Jakki had us do a light warm up on the treadmill getting the heart pumping and blood flowing.

Then we started a speed drill on the same incline of about 1.0. For BURN classes and many other Healthworks workouts, your personal Rate of Perceived Exertion (RPE), on a scale of one to ten, sets the tone of your work out. On a treadmill, a three is usually a light jog/recovery pace and a nine or ten is a full out sprint. For the sprint workout, we worked on sprint intervals, staying at the same interval but slowly building up to the sprint.

We then got off the treadmill and started work on stability balls. Lying with our backs on the ball and our legs pulled out creating a tabletop, we did an alternating chest press with ten-pound weights. After completing a set of reps for 30 seconds, we flipped over onto the ball and got into plank position. First we held the plank for 30 seconds, and then we made circles with our elbows while staying in plank. (This is really hard but really good!) Alternate 30 seconds each making circles clockwise and then counterclockwise.

After completing the exercises on the ball we got and did ten burpees. These are challenging yet fun exercises. First you jump up with your hands in the air. When you land you put your hands to the floor by your feet. With your weight forward on your hands, jump your feet back and then forward and stand back up. From here you repeat the exercise jumping.

Following the burpees, we did squats with smart bells. For a minute, we squatted down with the bell between our legs and then pulled the bell up to chin level.

Then we repeated the entire circuit (whew!)

After the strength circuit we hopped back on the treadmill and worked on hills. To do this we kept the speed consistent and worked on building up the incline to the top of the hill every 60 seconds. We ran this segment for about ten minutes.

When we finished the hills, we started working on core strength with the stability ball. Lying on a mat we lifted the stability ball up into the air at a 45-degree angle. Then to mix it up we repeated the exercise with one leg lifted in the air and then alternated after 15- 20 reps. To finish we stretched our legs and arms out while lying with our backs on the mat. With the stability ball in our hands, we lifted our arms and legs into the air meeting above our bellies and moved the ball from our hands to our legs and then lowered back to the beginning position. To finish the rep we brought our legs (with the stability ball) and our arms back together and passed the ball back to our hands. We completed the core workout by doing 10-12 reps of this exercise.

After this workout, I could really feel the “BURN.” (Pun intended, hehe) It definitely shook me out of my normal treadmill routine and worked muscles I had forgotten even existed. I’ve also learned a new set of moves to try when I am working out on my own so that I don’t get into the same rut.

If you want to mix up your workout routine, ask your Healthworks front desk to sign you up for your complimentary class.

-Kate

Do you have a favorite BURN class that I should try?

…still, it deserves a post:

Approximately 30 minutes worth of Fixie interval sprints, followed by:

• 200 yard sprint/strides @ 80+% (100 yards, pause, 100 yards) barefooted, artificial turf.
• straight bar muscle-ups x 3
• ballistic ring flyes x 5
• sprint starts x 20 yards x 3
• navel-high box jumps x 3

5 rounds.  This was more to take advantage of the beautiful, crisp day than to pursue a meaningful workout.  Nice to get out and about.  The onset of winter will limit these types of opportunities to few and far between in the coming months.

7×100m sprints
Four of these at :17, interspersed with three at :18. Didn’t commit the tenths and hundredths to memory, as any world records couldn’t have been corroborated.

Threw in some handstand holds on dumbbells, and about 12 HSPUs, with the equivalent of about two abmats.  Not very many, but I’m still new to even being able to do them.

6PM, after work.  Last meal, lunch @ 11:30AM.  “Felt” primed for low pulls vs. originally planned deadlifts.  Turned the w/o into a speed-endurance workout.

Worked Russian lunges into the warm-up.  Felt springy and fast, ==> opted for low pulls vs. straight DLs.

• 150 meter sprint/stride combo (continuous motion ==>25 meter sprint start/25 meter stride/50 meter sprint/50 meter stride)
• Low pull from the floor, clean grip (pinky on smooth band).  All explosive, all reps = bar at least above navel @ full triple extension:  135 x 5; 185 x 5; 225 x 3; 255 x 3, 275 x 3, 3, 3
• Ballistic dips @ bw x 3 (hands well clean of bar on each), low catch.
• weighted dips: bw x 5; 45 x 5; 70 x 4; 80 x 4; 90 x 3, 3, 3

7 total rounds.  Pulled the plug as soon as speed of execution diminished.  Auto reg.  Target rep range = 3, adjust weight as necessary.

My morning was so confused, I woke up at 6 for the 6:30am class. After throwing my phone against the wall, I decided, ‘Eff it, Im not going’, and texted another CrossFit athlete that I wasn’t going to make it. Well, after laying in bed a little while longer and checking the WOD, I thought to myself, ‘laziness is not a part of CrossFit’. No one gets better by skipping WODs. So I dragged myself out of bed, brushed my teeth, changed into my CF gear (lol) and went to CrossFit. So glad I did too, because I am not so awake, I am energized and ready for a busy and fun-filled Friday. Before I explain the WOD, I want to share with you some incredible breakfast muffins. Is rediculous how good these things are. They are easy to make, and zone/paleo friendly, however I recommend cutting the recipe in half if its only for one person. Even cutting it into a fourth would be enough. I did half and couldn’t finish all of them (6 muffins).

Warm-Up:
Circuit
400m Run
20 Lunges

Skill Work:
Split Squat #55

WOD:With a partner gain highest score for:
3 minutes double unders (1pt each, singles are .25 pts)
1 min rest
4 minutes kb swings (1pt each)
1 min rest
5 minutes rowing (1 pt. every 10 meters)
1 min rest
1 minute suicide sprints (1 pt. for down and back)

Bretani & I totaled 271.5 points. Whoop!

~Jo

“The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word ‘crisis.’ One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger – but recognize the opportunity.” – John F. Kennedy, Jr.

6+ hours deep sleep.  Up @ 4:30 AM, start workout at 6:20 AM, end @ 7:15 AM.  Post workout meal at 8:15 (2 eggs, cheese, spinach & veggie scramble).

More of a CrossFit-esk type of a workout this AM.  Setting up for a heavy(er) deadlift and weighted dip workout on Friday (11/20) evening – due to be out of town on Saturday (and possibly Sunday) ==> no workout.  That’s the plan as of  the time being, anyway.

Warm-up w/sprint starts, skips, ballistic stretching, push-ups, pull-ups, etc.  Then the following:

• 200 meter run; sprint 60 meters, stride 40 meters, sprint 60 meters, stride 40 meters.  Vibrams, indoor track.
• Front Squat: 135 x 5; 165 x 5; 185 x 5, 5
• BTN Push Press: 135 x 5; 165 x 5; 185 x 4, 4
• Weighted reverse grip pull-ups: 45 x 5; 80 x 5, 5, 5

4 total rounds.  Plyo squat drops x 3 prior to each round of Front Squats; straight bar reverse grip muscle-ups x 3 prior to each round of pull-ups.

Not so much concerned with the overall time of completion, but limited rest b/t sets as much as tolerable.  Emphasis still on each individual concentric rep completion as fast as possible.  No grind sets.  Power emphasis in the 5(+/-1) rep range.

The Vibram Five Finger KSO (Keep Stuff Out)

“You gonna run this whole race in those?” -A concerned fellow runner at the starting line of the Chilly Half Marathon

I do not run in conventional running shoes. My shoe of choice is the Vibram Five Finger, currently the KSO (stands for Keep Stuff Out). I have been running in the Vibrams (sometimes called VFF’s) exclusively now for almost five months. My old Asics and New Balance running shoes have been relegated to the back of the closet, pulled out only when I have to do yard work, which my wife will attest is not that often. Why do I choose to run in these funny little excuses of shoes? These “foot gloves”?

Back in March when I was still running in regular running shoes, I was just finishing up a treadmill run when I decided to end with an uphill climb. I pushed the elevation up to about 5 or 6 degrees and within about 5 seconds I felt a pop and a sharp pain behind my right knee. I immediately lowered the incline back to zero and tried to continue running. I lasted about 5 or 6 steps and was forced to stop. It was my first real running injury. I had read that every runner eventually suffers a setback, but I had convinced myself that it wasn’t going to happen to me. I tried to shake it off and run the next day, but I couldn’t get more than 100 feet. I thought about running through the pain, but I knew that this wasn’t one of those injuries. I had run through some foot and ankle pain early on in my rediscovery of running, but I knew that pain was merely my body acclimating itself to the idea of running. This was different. Something had popped. I took about 10 days off but was back at it in relatively short order. I didn’t want to take too much time off because I was training to run the Run To Remember Half Marathon on Memorial Day Weekend. Still, every time I’d hit close to 35-40 miles in a week, my knee would ache to the point of causing me to limp noticeably. Something wasn’t right.

I went to the doctor who asked my why I was running. I thought that was kind of a funny question coming from a doctor, but I went on to list the various health benefits of running, both physical and mental. I also mentioned that I was training for a half marathon. She looked at me with a funny look and then said, “you know, we’re not made to run like that.” I nodded and said nothing. “Your gonna run this thing anyway aren’t you?” Again, I nodded and said nothing. She decided to send me to a specialist to figure out what was wrong with the knee and get me back on track. One specialist, an MRI and a lot of poking and prodding later, I was told to switch to rowing. When I said I had signed up for road races not rowing races he told me to stretch three times a day every day and if anything happened while I was running the race to stop.

I paid how much for that advice?

I cut down on my miles in the weeks leading up to the race to avoid the soreness and the race came and went. I was pretty happy with my time (1:40:47).

It was around this time that I set my eyes on the marathon. I started to think that maybe, just maybe, I could qualify for the Boston Marathon. My time in the half was nowhere near good enough, but quite honestly I hadn’t followed any kind of training program. If I stuck to a schedule I was pretty sure that I could get it done. I poked around online looking for various programs. Every one I looked at made me groan. They all gradually built to at least 35-40 miles a week. It was also around this time that my good friend Mike told me about some funny shoes he was wearing every once in a while when he went running. He told me their name. The Vibram Five Finger shoe. Sounded almost dirty. I looked at them online thinking he was crazy.

A couple of weeks later he suggested that I read a new book that had recently come out called Born To Run by Christopher McDougall. I used to be a reader. But with the arrival of kids and the variety of things that kept me busy, I had stopped reading books for what seemed like ages. But this book was about running, my new found passion.  We were going away on a short vacation soon and I would need something to read by the pool. I started reading it a few days before we left and couldn’t put it down. By the time I plopped myself down by the pool I was nearly done with it. The story itself was fascinating, but it was one particular character and a section on the science of why we run that grabbed my attention.

According to McDougall, the science behind why we run is that we evolved that way. Boiled down to its simplest terms, early man did not have the strength, speed or natural weapons to be able to kill its meal. What he developed was endurance. He would essentially run his prey to death. Running in a pack, he would jog after his target, which would sprint away and rest. He and the rest of the runners would simply keep jogging after it. The cycle would continue over several hours (about the time it takes us to run a marathon) until the prey would collapse from exhaustion. At that point,  he would jog up to the collapsed animal and kill it with ease. This way of tracking and eventually killing an animal is called persistence hunting. The hunts could last 20, 30, 40 miles, but inevitably, man would get his prey (and therefore a well deserved dinner). There were no running shoes back in the day. These early humans ran on the shoes nature had given them…their feet. Which brings me to Barefoot Ted.

Barefoot Ted was one of the more entertaining characters in Born To Run. The short story is that after years of running in pain and spending more and more money on more and more expensive shoes (I think his last pair had springs on the bottom), he finally got so fed up that in the middle of a run, he took his shoes off in disgust and ran home barefoot. Halfway through his run home he realized something. He was no longer running with pain. He has essentially run barefoot ever since. Occasionally when the terrain gets rough, he will slip on a pair of Vibram Five Fingers.

When I read that, I thought, “maybe Mike’s on to something.” As soon as I got back from our short vacation I went out and bought a pair of the VFF Sprints. That night I hopped on the treadmill and ran three miles in them.

It was one of the most painful things I had ever done. My shins hurt. My calves hurt. My ankles hurt. All that hurt was nothing compared to the next day when I could hardly walk. I called my buddy Mike and he laughed.

“Of course you hurt! You’re using muscles, ligaments and tendons that you haven’t used since you were a kid running around barefoot! You’re not supposed to run more than a mile the first time. It’s like learning to run again.” Gee, thanks. Nobody gave me a copy of the manual. I put the VFF’s away for a couple of weeks. I kept running in my regular shoes and the knee pain persisted. Finally I tried the Vibrams again. This time I ran easy. I did about 3 or 4 miles, but I did them slowly. They felt great. Over the next couple of weeks I built up to about 6 miles per run. I realized that my knee pain was essentially gone. Now, I won’t lie to you and say my knee was completely better. Every once in a while, if I stood just so, it would hurt. But for the most part, the pain was gone. I decided to follow in the steps of our ancestors, Barefoot Ted and my buddy Mike and go barefoot style completely.

When my marathon training reached its peak, my knee was fine. It would bother me a little now and again, but never to the extent that it had before. I am convinced it is because of the shoes.

Now there was a downside to switching to the VFF’s and not giving the transition its proper due. From everything I have read since one should take several months to transition permanently to the Vibrams.

I took two weeks.

I did not give the tendons in my feet ample time to strengthen. On the morning after what was supposed to be my second to last long run (a 19 miler), I woke up with a pain on the top of my right foot. I was afraid I had suffered a stress fracture. My doctor was convinced of the same and said I needed to take 6 – 8 weeks off. No running.

“But I have a marathon in 4 weeks!”

“Uh, no, you don’t. You need to take 6 – 8 weeks off”

“I’ll give you 2.”

“You’re going to run this marathon no matter what I say aren’t you?”

I nodded. I had spent the bulk of the summer training. I didn’t want to do all that training for nothing. She called me an idiot and told me to lay off for the two weeks and then get back into it slowly. I met her halfway by finding another marathon that took place two weeks later (Manchester). I took four weeks off and then eased back into the final two weeks.

Even after the grueling run at Manchester, the pain in my right foot has not returned. I am now convinced that it was tendinitis caused by my overly rapid transition into the VFF’s. From what I understand, wearing the Vibrams allows a certain amount of toeing off that you wouldn’t be able to do barefoot. This has been known to cause some tendon pain on the top of the foot in those who don’t take the time to transition properly (like me). All that said, almost 3 weeks later, I am running pain free and I am convinced that I am going to stay that way. I don’t foresee myself ever going back to regular running shoes.

If you are thinking about switching to the Vibrams, I would strongly suggest that you do it slowly. Maybe even find a transition shoe like the new Nike Free’s or the Biom running shoes to act as a bridge. Your feet will thank you. If you still think people are crazy to be running in these shoes, I would ask you to consider this. For millions of years we have run either barefoot or with thin sandals on our feet. Even up until the 1970’s we were essentially running in shoes that offered very little support or cushion.

Our feet were strong and sensitive – able to relay information quickly to the brain and allow us to adjust our footfalls rapidly. The modern running shoe has essentially taken them out of the equation by wrapping them up in a protective cocoon. Our feet have given up their job to all the cushioning and support supplied by the cozy blanket wrapped around them. They have fallen asleep…they’ve become soft.

You want to run like you did when you were a kid? Like you didn’t care about anything other than the wind in your hair and the laughter in the air? Wake your feet up. Vibrams are the vehicle to get you back to the joy of running…just do it slowly. No one, not even your feet like to be jarred awake!

If you were paying attention, and I’ll assume that you were, as hanging on my every word is quite unavoidable, you’ll notice where I called this page a sports site. This is only partially true (you’ll find, as we go forward, that partial truths are one of my many fortes, along with sneaky lies, eloquent hyperbole, and expertly placed scorn). In addition to sports, I will also be covering games. To deal with issues of server space and short attention spans, the two have been amalgamated under the catch-all phrase “sports” in such a way that they’ve lost all distinction. Well, I’m here to set the record straight… which should have been listed amongst my fortes… setting the record straight. I’m very good at it.

And actually, the distinction is quite simple to understand… and here’s the litmus test; if a fat 60 year old can do it moderately well, it’s not a sport, it’s a game. Simple as that.

So let’s get to it, shall we?

But first, let’s start by saying I’m not going to mention anything that’s so obviously a game that its’ combatants won’t even complain at having it called so. These include poker, backgammon, Madden challenge, Scrabble, spelling bees, etc… These have at most a very little physical aspect to them, and thus don’t qualify as a sport under any definition of the world. Plus, a fat 60 year old, after some practice, could be the best in the world at any of them.

American Football – Sport. Clearly, our fat 60 year old could strap on a helmet and shoulder pads and proceed to play the game, but this is where the “moderately well” portion of our litmus test comes into play. I would also recommend a stretcher, ambulance, priest and his loved ones be nearby.

Archery - Game. Games can be broken down into two categories… strictly mental games, like the ones mentioned above (Poker, Backgammon, etc…), or games that combine both mental and physical aspects. Alas, when it comes to archery’s physicality, we’re talking hand-eye coordination (true of many games) and average levels of strength. A fat 60 year old can handle those aspects.

Australian Rules Football – Sport. I would, though, like to see our fat 60 year old in one of these. Wait, no I wouldn’t. Forget I said that.

Auto Racing – Game. Let’s be honest here… the cars are the athletes. They’re the ones competing in a sport. The drivers, not so much. Yes, it’s physically and mentally demanding… but can you really sit there and tell me, perched on your high chair like you most certainly are, that a fat 60 year old couldn’t win one race, let alone do moderately well? Already, Mark Martin of Nascar fares quite well at age 50, and the oldest winner was 52. Formula one’s oldest winner was 53. And we’ve got a fat guy that regularly wins in Tony Stewart. Would he win? Probably not. Could he do moderately well? Definitely.

Badminton – Sport. Yes, our fat 60 year old, depending on what strata of society he finds himself within, might play regularly… probably with regular breaks for tea and judging people. But put that same fat 60 year old in a competitive environment, and he loses every time. There’s nothing “moderately well” about that.

Baseball – Sport. Baseball’s one of the trickier ones to call, actually. Most players are involved in a sport, but pitchers, particularly those pansies from the American League (what with the designated hitter rule), might be playing a game. We’ve seen plenty of successful fat guys… C.C. Sabathia, David Wells, Bartolo Colon, Jumbo Brown… most of them pitchers (though certainly the aforementioned designated hitter and first base are prone to successful fat guys, like Cecil Fielder, and John Kruk)… but could our 60 year old do it, at least moderately well? Maybe, but he’d have to be pretty special. And since most baseball players qualify as athletes playing a sport (unless you could see our fat 60 year old chase down a fly ball, or steal second… I don’t), we’ll call baseball a sport.

Basketball – Sport. Through and through. Even if our fat 60 year old was 7′4″, he still wouldn’t hold up, and that’s saying something.

Bobsleigh – Game. Any activity where gravity does the most work is a game. That fact should maybe be at the top, but at least it’s here. A fat person actually benefits from these kinds of games. As a matter of fact, until the governing body instituted a weight-limit rule in 1952, bobsleigh crews were very heavy. It should also be noted that bobsleigh inverse to baseball, as the pusher might actually be playing a sport, at least at the start of the race. This is of course before the gravity takes over, and it’s the pusher’s job to get the sled moving. But for most of the race, all members of the team are playing a game, hence, its’ designation here.

Bossaball – Sport. And a wild one at that. And just look at that photo (you’ll have to hover over “bossaball” to see it)… if any of you know a fat 60 year old that could even do that without gravely injuring him/herself, I want their name and number. I have an idea for a viral video. Oh, and if you want to know just what the hell bossaball is, check this out.

Boules – Game. Uh, yeah. This one’s obvious, right? From a class of games that includes Bocce, Lawn Bowling, Petanque, Boule Lyonaisse, Klootschieten and Varpa… games seemingly specifically created for the elderly (but fun nonetheless).

Bowling – Game. Again, no questions here, right? If so, just head to your local bowling alley. You’ll see plenty of fat, drunk 60 year olds bowling in the 200’s regularly. Not a sport.

Boxing – Sport. This one’s a bit thorny. George Foreman, at this very moment, is a fat 60 year old (ironic for a man synonymous with the Lean Mean Fat-Reducing Grilling Machine, but I digress). Could he really not fare at least moderately well in the ring today? Probably so… but this one comes with a caveat. The only way this could work is in the heavyweight division, where lumbering, plodding heavy punchers will always have a place. You can be all of those things as a fat 60 year old. In no other weight class would this be plausible. So on the whole, boxing’s a sport, whether the heavyweight division is a game or not.

Competitive Dance – Sport. So us macho types, like, for instance, myself, don’t like to admit that dance is a sport. But step back and take a look at it… extreme athleticism? Check. Very competitive? Check. Exclusion of fat 60 year olds? That’s a big fat check. And those of you who have been to a competitive dance… uh… competition?… and seen the merciless backstabbing and cutthroat sabotage that regularly unfolds know damn well that this is no game.

Cricket – Sport. The art of bowling sets cricket apart from baseball. As opposed to the standstill throw a pitcher delivers, the bowler’s is a violent, full-body action with an extended run-up that would certainly throw out the backs of most fat 60 year olds. Even the act of batting is more involved, as batsmen have been known to switch sides of the wicket while the bowler is in his run-up (this would be akin to a right-handed batter jumping over home plate to bat left-handed during a pitcher’s windup). No easy feat, and no place for a fat 60 year old to tread.

Curling – Game. There’s nothing about this game that a fat 60 year old couldn’t handle. They might be the best in the world at it, for all I know.

Cycling – Sport. A fat 60 year old in spandex? We don’t think so.

Darts – Game. One of the few games where being a fat 60 year old is an advantage.

Decathlon/Heptathlon/Pentathlon – Sport. This would, of course, be the end of our fat 60 year old. We had some good times, fat 60 year old. We’ll always remember you.

Disc Golf – Game. Another addendum; if stoners, hippies and other movement-reluctant bums fancy it, it’s a game.

Discus Throw – Game. The actual throwing of the discus any fat 60 year old could handle, and while some of them might be hilariously awful, some could reach the “moderately well” threshold… that’s the rub. It’s the leadup to the toss that gets a bit dicey. Most athletic 25 years olds will end up on their ass following it… and a fat 60 year old? He’ll get vertigo… unless… he/she was already an experienced discus thrower. A former champion, let’s say. Could he/she still fare moderately well? Of course.

Diving – Game. Here’s the thing… at the elite level, yes, diving is heavily populated by 15 year old, 58 pound Asians. But tack on 45 years and 200 pounds to those same Asians… and splashy, cannonball-esque entry aside, could they not at least fare reasonably well in a diving competition? I think so, yes.

Downhill Skiing – Sport. OK, let me explain. Yes, gravity plays a major role here, in fact, it’s the agent propelling the skier down the hill. But what sets downhill skiing apart from say the bobsleigh or the luge is that the skiier must use his/her athleticism against gravity, to turn, sometimes sharply. Without the ability to do so, the ability to fare, oh, I don’t know, let’s say moderately well, goes down the tubes. Our fat 60 year old would be carried faster than most down the hill, thanks to the “fat” part, would his/her 60 year old muscles be able to turn him/her appropriately? We have our doubts.

Equestrian – Game. Again, who’s the athlete here? Is it the person riding the horse, or the horse doing all the work? The horses are certainly competing in a sport… the person sitting on the horse? Not so much. Though we will admit that we certainly feel for the horse that has a fat 60 year old on its’ back.

Fencing – Game. We’ll admit, fencing takes incredible instincts and quickness, and the reflexes of a… uh…. well, something that has really fast reflexes. So we’re under no illusion that a fat 60 year old could be a champion. But let’s say renowned champion Sergei Golubitsky hits 60 and has let himself go a little (or a lot, whatever picture you throw into that head of yours). Were he to enter a competition, could he not fare at least moderately well? It says here he could.

Figure Skating – Sport. Unless points were awarded for sliding along the ice on your ass or stomach, our fat 60 year old would stand no chance here. None at all. Though, this does give me an idea. Who wouldn’t pay money to watch fat 60 year olds attempt some of these advanced moves. It’d be a train wreck, and train wrecks make good televsion… hmmmmm…. We’d have to come up with some appropriate clothing, but yeah, I think I could make it work.

Fishing/Angling – Game. Go watch your local fishing tournament this weekend. Take note of the number of people that aren’t fat 60 year olds. Now, nod in agreement with me.

Gaelic Football – Sport. A fat 60 year old would spend the entire game getting embarrassed, thus causing him, if he’s Irish (as we would expect, if he’s playing Gaelic Football), to pick a fight with every player on the pitch, followed by that particularly intoxicating brand of Irish violence… utter chaos, generally speaking… which would subsequently lead to everyone getting drunk together and singing songs. Stereotypical? You betcha… but I’ve lived it. And stereotypes exist for a reason, right?

Golf – Game. First, it’s a favorite of fat 60 year olds. Second, you could easily see one heating up and shooting a 70 on the same day Tiger Woods shoots a 72. An activity where you could play better than the world’s best? That’s a game, my friends. Let’s put that same fat guy up against Lebron James in a game of one-on-one. Does he ever win? Of course not. If we tied one of James’ arms behind his back, does the fat 60 year old ever win? Of course not. I believe I’ve eagled this one.

Gymnastics – Sport. OK, picture the fat 60 year old, and let’s go with a male. Now… and this won’t be easy… picture him in a unitard. Get past it, you can do it. OK, good. Now, picture him going through a routine on the pommel horse. How many times did he crush his nuts? 30? 40? No, this is no place for a fat 60 year old.

Hammer Throw – Game. Like the discus throw, the problem lies in the lead up to the throw. And like the discus throw, most people would end up on all fours attempting such a thing, with probably a vertigo supplementation for our fat 60 year old. But, like the discus, an experienced discus thrower who just happens to be fat and 60 could fare moderately well… thus… it’s a game.

Handball – Sport. Like many sports, a fat 60 year old could play handball, and like all of them, against decent competition, he’d get embarrassed to the point of taking up shuffleboard.

Hockey – Sport. Whether it be the ice or the field variety, the end results are the same. Our fat 60 year old hospitalized, probably with a feeding tube and catheter. It wouldn’t be pretty.

Horse Racing – Game. A great sport for horses, a decent game for humans. Again, how is this a sport for jockeys? Actually, let’s put it this way, if the real athlete in the sport (the horse) would be better off without human involvement (you know, faster without something on its’ back), then it’s no sport for humans. There. And yes, we’d need a very special, strong horse for our fat 60 year old, but there’s one out there that could lead it to a moderately decent finish.

Hurling – Sport. And one I’m not sure should be legal. Picture, Americans, a combination of baseball, soccer and handball. That’s right, they run around with what amounts to baseball bats in their hands, freely swinging them on the field of battle, with others all around them. Hence the helmets. I don’t think we should allow our fat 60 year old to even try this one. Let’s move on.

Hydroplane Racing – Game. Another sport where the humans are just controlling the athletes… in this case, crazy-fast boats. And another one a fat 60 year old would fancy his chances in. He might even prevent things like this from happening, what with the extra weight and all.

Jai Alai – Sport. I don’t think “the fastest sport in the world” is any place for a fat 60 year old. I don’t know, maybe that’s just me, but I’m gonna go ahead and give this one the sport nod, and move on, thus saving the life of our fat 60 year old, in all probability. Ed Honcho, hero.

Javelin Throw – Game. As with most throwing sports, where your average fat 60 year old wouldn’t be able to compete, one with experience should be able to at least fare moderately well. Hence the designation as a game. They are the Olympic Games, after all, right?

Jumping – Sport. This includes the High Jump, Long/Broad Jump and Triple Jump, not to mention certain obstacles for fat 60 year olds… namely, the whole jumping part.

Luge – Game. This falls under our aforementioned gravity rule (see: bobsleigh). Our 60 year old’s girth would do nothing but help him/her. Sure, he/she might end up in the hospital, but that’s true of thin 26 year olds as well.

Martial Arts – Sport. Unlike boxing’s heavyweight division, there are very few plodding, heavy hitters when it comes to any discipline of the martial arts. My recommendation to our fat 60 year old? Start tapping out as soon as the competition begins. I’m tired of these hospital bills. It’s starting to add up.

Motorcycle Racing – Game. Again, and maybe I should just put this on repeat. The humans here aren’t the real athletes. The motorcycles are. They’re the ones competing in a sport. The humans… simply enjoying their game. And sure, your average 60 year old would struggle… but a former motorcyle jockey who spent 10 years gorging on Tastykakes? He could fare, you guessed it, moderately well.

Netball/Korfball – Sport. Very similar to basketball, though not quite as arduous physically as one’s movement is restricted. Thus, at amateurish levels, a fat 60 year old could hold his/her own. But once we start to creep into the levels of “moderately decent”, the fat 60 year old falls short.

Orienteering/Rogaining – Game. Navigation-based competitions will always fall into the category of games, for obvious reasons, the most clear being that many fat 60 year olds already participate, and can certainly fare at least moderately well. The “fat” part undoubtedly doesn’t help, as these competitions are all on foot, but this deficiency can be made up for in other areas.

Pole Vault – Sport. The mere idea of a fat 60 year old attempting the pole vault has me sitting in my chair laughing my ass off (or SIMCLMAO, from here forward). This is no game.

Polo – Game. This is a combo event between the horse and the human, with the horse playing a sport and the human playing a hand-eye-coordination-based game. Our fat 60 year old could play this game, with a big enough horse, and play it quite well.

Racewalking – Game. This one just feels like a game, doesn’t it? It’s got that game funk all over it. And I’m not coming at this from a “what’s shoved up those guys asses?” point of view either. Nope. I know they’re great at what they do, and it takes talent. It’s just, what’s the ceiling on speed if you’re walking? And what’s the ceiling on speed if you’re a former racewalking champ who’s put on a few and 60 years old? Are they that far apart? That’s the thing. The slower racewalking speeds allow for the discrepancies in time to remain close, as opposed to running, where the difference increases exponentially. Thus, our fat 60 year old can log his/her moderately well and move on with his/her life.

Rock Climbing/Bouldering – Sport. Yeah, our guy would be dead. Fat and rock climbing/bouldering go together like…. uh, fat and… modeling. I don’t know. Two things that don’t go together very well. Cut me some slack, I’ve run out of coffee.

Rowing – Game. This one’s not so easy. Could a fat 60 year old row well. Yes, and with great power. Would his/her girth keep him/her from our “moderately well” standard? We say no, not if he/she were an experienced rower. This one definitely toes the border between sport and game, though. But hey, the rules are the rules… hard and fast. Just like me. Except for fast. Sometimes… depends what we’re talking about. Let’s just move on.

Rugby – Sport. Sure, Rugby (both League and Union) has its’ fat guys, but they’re not really fat guys, they’re just sports fat guys. You know, the kind of guy that drinks all night and doesn’t pay any attention to what he puts in his body… fish & chips, meat pies, etc… But they’re not really fat, not by society’s standards, at least. They’re just sports fat. Our 60 year old is society fat, plus, you know, he’s 60. He might hold his own in a scrum, but otherwise, it’s back to the hospital with him.

Running – Sport. Including sprints, marathons, hurdles, etc… And we’re moving on.

Sailing – Game. Now, we certainly don’t want to downplay what they do, but could a fat 60 year old be part of a winning team? You betcha. Could he win an individual competition? Unlikely, but could we expect him to do reasonably well? Were he a former champion, yes, we could. And I’m sticking with it, no matter how many hateful emails I get.

Shooting – Game. Encompassing sporting clays, skeet and trap shooting, our fat 60 year old is already moving into the semifinals.

Shot Put – Game. Our fat 60 year old is excited to try this one out. No running, no jumping, just sheer strength. And it says here they’ll fare at least moderately well.

Shuffleboard – Game. Funny story, our fat 60 year old is actually the reigning world shuffleboard champion. True story.

Skateboarding – Sport. We’re eagerly anticipating our fat 60 year old’s turn on the half-pipe. We’re guessing the judges don’t throw the term “moderately well” around. Maybe something more along the lines of “OH MY GOD! CALL 9-1-1!!!”

Ski Jump – Game. The ski jump, as opposed to downhill skiing, requires very little active resistance to gravity. Gravity hurls it’s participants down the ramp, a small, quick, powerful burst of the legs when the ramp turns up, then it’s all about holding your form. Our fat 60 year old, a former ski jumper, could handle this sort of thing, and his performance would be deemed “moderately well,” grammar be damned.

Snowboarding – Sport. And this includes virtually every form of snowboarding sport there is, whether it be boardercross, halfpipe, big air, slopestyle or simply racing. Now, some of them do start to creep into game territory… for instance, our fat 60 year old could get good air, and maybe perform enough tricks to fare moderately well… but we doubt it. And the rest of the events would leave him/her at the ski lodge in a full body cast… so yeah, we’re going sport.

Speed Skating – Sport. It’s a matter of sheer physics, really. As our fat 60 year old made a turn, provided he/she had any sort of speed built up, the centrifugal force would carry him/her into the boards, everytime… partly because their mass would be difficult to stop/turn, and also because their older legs wouldn’t be able to do it. I like to call it the “law of hilarious crashes where hopefully nobody gets hurt”. I am having some trouble getting it to stick. Maybe you guys can help me out? Spread the word. Spread the love.

Soccer/Football/Calcio/Futbol – Sport. Sure, lots of fat 60 year olds play soccer, but have you watched them? Let’s just say that their version is a sedentary one, rife with mis-kicks, hand-balls, shin-shots, beer and singing. OK, so it’s not that much different than the EPL… but just enough that our fat 60 year old narrowly fails the test.

Softball – Game. Though really, the way women play it, it’s a sport. But the way the vast majority of people play it, it’s barely a game. More like a mixer, or a party, or something between grilling and horseshoes. Our fat 60 year old is right at home.

Surfing – Sport. First of all, fat, in the surfing world, means shark food. Second, well, let’s go back to physics. The best surfers don’t sit too far down in the water. They skim the surface. Fat means skimming becomes more difficult… means jumps don’t look as good… means tubes aren’t properly navigated… means “moderately well” is out of the picture.

Swimming – Sport. Unless you consider drowning a success, in which case, you need to go talk to someone. Seriously.

Table Tennis – Game. To play at the highest level, with the best of the best, you cannot be fat, or 60. It takes hummingbird-like reflexes that, let’s face it, have left our fat 60 year old over time. But to play the game moderately well? Our fat 60 year old can handle that, especially if he/she has history in the game.

Tennis – Sport. It’s like table tennis, if the table were expanded to 10 times it’s normal size and you got on top of it. This means 10 times more ground to cover for our fat 60 year old. That’s about 9 times too much.

Triathlon – Sport. Maybe if the swim were 25 yards, the bike 1/4 of a mile, and the run 30 steps… maybe, our fat 60 year old could fight his/her way into the “moderately well” category. Anything more and he/she suffers a stroke.

Ultimate Frisbee – Sport. That’s right. Ultimate has moved out of the realm of hippies and stoners and been taken over by real athletes. The amount of athleticism required to catch the many errant throws that occur alone dooms our fat 60 year old (and if you don’t believe me, check out the photo if you hover over “ultimate frisbee”, or this one).

Volleyball – Sport. If we’re talking water volleyball, our 60 year old might stand a chance. But beach, or indoor? Uh, no. Even if he/she were 7′0″ tall, his/her lack of quicks would doom him/her. Plus, that’s not even an insurmountable heighth these days when it comes to volleyball. No, we’re quite sure our fat 60 year old would be humiliated.

Water Polo – Sport. Treading water is an underestimated exercise. It’s exhausting. Trust me. Ed Honcho spent his formative years as a lifeguard (what did you expect?), where part of the certification process was to hold a brick over your head and tread water for 1 minute. Go ahead and try it, we’ll wait… no? Pansies. What you’d find is that it’s not the sort of thing a fat 60 year old should be attempting under any circumstances, brick or no. Though, I will admit, it might come in handy during a lifeguard certification class, as you would most certainly be dragging them off the bottom of the pool, maybe putting them on a backboard, and potentially administering a little mouth-to-mouth. Three birds with one stone. I’m surprised they haven’t thought of this one yet. What I’m not surprised about, is that I have.

Waterskiing – Sport. Have you seen some of the things these people do? Yes? Can you imagine a fat 60 year old doing any of them? Yes, but only poorly, and quickly followed by a horrible wipeout? Me too!

Weightlifting – Game. Plenty of fat people excel at weightlifting… remember, fat people can be very strong, whether they be 20, 40, 60 or 80 years old.

Wrestling – Sport/Game. Truly, in wrestling moreso than any other sport, it depends on the discipline. Freestyle or Collegiate wrestling is a sport. Fat 60 year olds would get twisted into pretzels. Greco-Roman wrestling is a game, since it relies almost solely on upper body strength, which a fat 60 year old might have in spades… or, at least enough to fare moderately well. Submission wrestling is a sport, as a fat 60 year old wouldn’t have the speed to contain someone at the top of their game… not to mention someone at an average level of their game. Arm wrestling is a game, which should be patently obvious to anyone but the dullest of minds. Sumo wrestling is a sport, as, though our 60 year old is fat… that gives him no advantages. Instead, it’s about quickness at that size, something that puts our 60 year old at a decided disadvantage. And, of course, professional wrestling is neither a game or a sport, it’s what we like to call “acting” in the business.

So there you have it… I would normally spend the next few hours waxing poetic about my prophetic… ness. But it does appear as if our fat 60 year old is in need of immediate attention. What do eyes rolled back in the head usually mean? Is that bad? Yeah. OK, I gotta go. Spread the word people. Let’s make this stuff fact. Oh, and if you want to send any particularly hateful emails my way, sure, I can take it. Just send it to icanbesurprisinglysensitive@edhoncho.com. Yo.

20+ hours fasted -

Fixie intervals to the ECU football practice field/throwers’ area, then:

• barefooted sprints (art. turf) x 100 yds, 100 yds, 60 yds
• straight bar muscle-ups x 3
• caber toss, 16 lb shot (heels at concrete/turf edge) x 3
• vertical put for height @16 lb shot, catch w/opposite arm x 3 each arm, alternating
• straight bar muscle-ups x 3

5 rounds.   37 “heel-to-toes” as drop-off mark for caber toss.  Fixie intervals to downtown, then coffee at the Tipsy Teapot.  45 minutes downtime, then fixie intervals to home (1/2 hour’s worth).  Diner planned for T+ 3-hours post workout.

Conditioning is one of those things that can make or break a fight; give you the edge. All the technique and skill in the world probably won’t win you the fight if you gas in a minute. Here’s some ideas I use sometimes without the need for lots of equipment.

100 burpees for time

Burpees are an all over workout that are tough on the cardiovascular system. Do 100 as quick as you can for an ass kicking conditioning workout.

Sprints (hill sprints, regular sprints, fartlek training etc)

Sprints are one of the best conditioning exercises you can do for MMA in my opinion. Sprint a short distance (10-60seconds) then walk back, then repeat. Do this 6-12 times. Obviously build it up each session. If you can’t do regular sprints because of bad knees etc then do it on a rowing machine.

Circuits with the following:

• verticle jumps
• pressups (all variations; wide, close, regular, clap, elevated etc)
• chinups (if you can find something to hang from)
• lunges
• situps (all variations; cycle crunches, leg raises etc)
• star jumps
• shadowboxing
• skipping rope

Pick 5 exercises and do each for a minute at a time with no rest inbetween exercises. Have a 1 min break at the end of the 5 minutes and then repeat twice more for 3×5 min rounds total. If you are training for a specific bout then you can add/reduce the exercises and/or intensity as you need to.

Need a timer for your conditioning work outs? No problem, the Gymboss Interval Timer is inexpensive, compact and flexible.

22 hours fasted, 8+ hours deep sleep -

Fixie intervals sprints to stadium.  Ramp sprints to upper deck, then:

Sprints up aisle (dual steps), 15 ballistic, elevate foot push-ups, “quick feet”  (every step) down same aisle, sprint to next aisle, repeat process for a total of 10 (or thereabouts) rounds.  As many ballistic push-ups per set as possible, then fast as possible with drops, then any way possible for a total of 15.  Pause as necessary.  These got ugly toward the end, with lots of rest-pause b/t groups of reps.

Ballistic lunges down ramps (drop into full lunge, then “single-leg vert” out of the lunge for max height), repeat.  Lunge a ramp, recover for a ramp.  Approx. 10 total “lunge ramps”.

Fixie intervals home.