Sit back, have a drink, and swim with me down the channels of nostalgia.  What that trip entails – a fleeting thought, a jotted note in the ol’ iPhone, and Google research later.

1) “What were those holographic, flat-front action figures called?”

A good question, with a simple answer: Visionaries.  They had a cartoon and a comic book series (which I still own)!

Wait, what? There's a different hologram toy line?

The exact toy in question. Well the one like this that's yellow...

But that wasn’t the answer being looked for.  The correct answer to the question in question: Tonka put out a series called Super Naturals.

Sure, holograms were a fad in the 80’s, but so were 3D stereograms in the 90’s, and no one made toys based around them. (Probably because companies were too busy ripping off updating successful 80’s lines… of which the neither Visionaries of Super Naturals were a part.)

2) “Does anybody remember St. Elsewhere?  Anybody?”

Every once and awhile it becomes apparent that I’m older than I pay more attention to pop culture than the people around me.  I was wondering if St. Elsewhere was available on DVD, and no one knew anything about it.  Answer: only the first season.

Why I wanted to know is because I never watched the show (because I was too young… srsly), and I wondered if it was any good.

There were only two things I knew about the show:

• Howie Mandel was on the show.  I knew of him because he’d put a rubber glove over his head and blow it up with his nose.  He was famous for this.

Howie Does It

• The entire show ended up taking place within the mind of an autistic patient.  SPOILER ALERT.  (Did I do that right?)

What I learned after researching the existence of the DVD:

• Mark Harmon (the main dude from NCIS) was on it.  His character died from AIDS, and was one of the first major characters to contract HIV (heterosexually, of course… it was the 80’s).
• Denzel Washington also got his start on the show.  Denzel!  That just blows my mind.  Next you’ll be telling me Will Smith or George Clooney got started on TV.  Or 30 Rock’s Alec Baldwin got started in film.  Crazy!

3) “What was the name of that famous midget little person from the 80’s?”

This inquiry arose out of a terribly written trivia question that confused Tiptoe Through the Tulips’ Tiny Tim with a little person.  Come on.  You’ve got to know Tiny Tim (not the “God bless us, every one” one).  He was like the Marilyn Manson of the 60’s and 70’s, in that was as shocking as he was able to be.

Anyukulele, I knew there was a little person that was so beloved in my youth that even as I child, I knew his name, but it escaped me.  I knew he was in a Wizard of Oz spoof I had never fully seen.  So I started with that and found:

Young Chevy Chase AND Carrie Fisher? Must See!

And that lead me to the recesses of my memory.  Without further research, it hit me!  Billy Barty!

Verne Troyer, take notes...

And on that note, I shall pour out some of my next drink in your honor, Gwildor…

As you’ll recall from this post and this one, the Choob loves the slightly surreal 1980s medical drama St Elsewhere.

Here’s a rather splendid live performance of the show’s theme tune by a Scottish band called Electric Thistle (sorry, I know nothing about them), apparently recorded in Aberdeen’s Jazz Cellar on February 13, 1996.

Enjoy!

Today is a huge milestone in the world of teen dramas.  It is the 19th anniversary of the premiere of Beverly Hills 90210, the show that started it all.

In honor of this momentous occasion, 90210 executive producer Charles Rosin, who now runs showbizzle,  revisited the show’s early years and development thereafter.

TeenDramaWhore: What was your reaction when Aaron Spelling contacted you to be part of this show, then-called Class of Beverly Hills?

Charles Rosin: Curiosity.  Mr. Spelling was a legend in this business whose deal with ABC had ended and who was struggling to re-invent himself and his company for a new generation of TV watchers.  Truthfully, I was not a big fan of his most  popular shows –”Dynasty,” “Charlie’s Angels,” “The Love Boat”  — which all seemed very old fashioned and predictable.  My taste was much more oriented to a more challenging and thought provoking television like “St.Elsewhere,” ” thirtysomething,” and “Northern Exposure,” of which I was the supervising producer for the first season and was working on when I first met “The Mister” in his office at the Warner Hollywood Studios.

TDW: As an executive producer, what exactly was your role?  How were you involved in the episode process?

Rosin: In the TV business, a creative executive producer is known as a showrunner, who literally runs all the creative aspects of a show while being responsible for its financial vitality. On 90210 I would either come up with the ideas, or approve ideas brought to me; make sure my partners (The Spelling Company and Fox) approved of these ideas; supervise my staff in writing the story and scripts (or write the stories or scripts myself) based on these ideas; re-write scenes, etc. in my capacity as “the last typewriter” if I felt the material needed punching up; incorporate legal clearances and network notes into the scripts; have a concept meeting with the directors (who I hired); cast the actors for that week’s show; supervise a production meeting with all the department heads (wardrobe, art. etc);  be available during production to deal with whatever situations might occur; work with the editors to cut the film which might require dropping scenes, changing the act breaks, changing the order of the story, etc.;  then get notes from my partners; then work with my associate producer in getting the locked film ready for airing by adding music, sound effects, correct color, dub voices — and then being the final “ear” when the show is mixed….all while developing three-five scripts simultaneously and prepping for the next episode in line to shoot.

TDW: 90210 essentially started the primetime teen drama genre.  What kind of challenges were you up against?

Rosin: Fox was all about edgy/raunchy guy-humor like “Married With Children” while 90210 was a show that not only celebrated girl-empowerment but had this wonderful character named Brenda Walsh [Shannen Doherty] who represented the notion that a teenager could be sexually active and not be a slut, but actually a role model. Unfortunately, my first set of network executives did not see the world as I did . Someday I will write a long article about the censorship that occurred after Brenda lost her virginity at the Spring Dance [ed. note: Episode 1.21, Spring Dance] to her boyfriend (who had been AIDS tested) because she was happy and not full of remorse.

TDW: When do you think 90210 crossed over that ‘initial hump’ and started achieving success?

Rosin: When the Gulf War started in February, 1991 the three networks (ABC, NBC, and CBS) suspended all commercial activity to cover the invasion. Fox didn’t have a news department back than (hard to believe; wish they didn’t have one now. ha!) so Fox broadcast whatever was on their schedule. The 90210 episodes that aired during this time included “BYOB” and “Slumber Party” [ed. note: Episodes 1.11 and 1.13].  By the time commercial activity started up again some three weeks later with the re-activation of the Nielsen ratings, our show was no longer a bottom feeder. The network took notice; gave us an extended order for season two with the understanding that we would be producing summer episodes — and we were off.

TDW: In an interview last year with The New York Times, you said you went to Beverly Hills High.  How did it compare to the fictional West Beverly?

Rosin: I graduated Beverly Hills High School in 1970 which makes me a child of the 60’s! Even though it was a time of political activism and emerging youth culture,  there were many traditions from the 1950’s that were a vital part of my high school culture — and which ultimately were incorporated into the series.  We meet Emily Valentine [Christine Elise, ed. note: see related interview] in season two at “Hello Day” where each class welcomes new students through parodies and funny skits [ed. note: Episode 2.8, Wildfire]. The dance where the cheerleader is date raped by a football player in “Teenline” in season one was called The Pigskin Prom, which was a big thang back in the day [ed. note: Episode 1.9, The Gentle Art of Listening].  And, of course, episodes in the third year season dealing with ditch day and the senior yearbook poll all were part of school life at BHHS [ed. note: Episodes 3.26 and 3.25 respectively, She Came In Through The Bathroom Window and Senior Poll]. Oddly enough,  I played baseball for Beverly against Torrance High School, which was our location for “West Beverly” and which later became the high school location for “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”  [ed. note: click here for photos of Torrance/West Bev] One other odd connection — we filmed our summer episodes at the same beach in Santa Monica Bay where the kids from Beverly Hills High School used to hang out — which was known as Tee’s, not the Beverly Hills Beach Club which was filmed at the old Sand and Sea Club right after it got condemned.

TDW: Let’s talk about the episode where Scott [Douglas Emerson] kills himself (Episode 2.14, The New Fifty Years). Was that a product of Douglas wanting to leave the show or was it precipitated by the direction of the storylines? Was there backlash to that episode?

Rosin: Given our low license fee from the network, we were always trying to cut costs — and Doug Emerson was a nice young man, but not a gifted actor. I still wanted to find a memorable way to write him off the show — and that was when I read about an accidental killing of a high school student on Prom Night in a hotel room at the Disneyland Hotel.  So while David Silver [Brian Austin Green] was getting cool and into the Brenda/Kelly/Steve Beach Club crowd, I sent Scott to hang at his grandparents house in Oklahoma off-camera for six episodes as a way to show these two old friends drifting apart before our eyes. It should be known that this was the only story line that the network and Mr. Spelling worked together to try to squash — but they could sense my passion for the story, were very supportive of [our] script and were very satisfied with the episode, which also was highly promotable and did well in the ratings.

TDW: You were there during the high school to college transition, which all the teen dramas are doing these days.  What do you think that change added to the show?

Rosin: Not only was I “there” for the transition from high school to college, but I must take credit — along with my late producing partner, Paul Waigner — for spearheading the drive to move on and let these kids grow up. Part of the problem was that our cast looked to old/were too old to play believable high school students anymore — and I convinced network president Sandy Grushow that doing a high school show that did not deal with the prospect of college was bogus. Aaron was nervous about the change, of course. He was nervous about everything.  But once I agreed to let all the kids go to the same college, he let them graduate — which allowed me to write a senior year in “real time”. You ask what this added to the show? How ’bout four-five seasons worth of new episodes that would probably wouldn’t have been ordered if they stayed in high school.

TDW: Your wife also worked on the show, right?

Rosin: Karen’s first professional writing credit was for “Isn’t It Romantic?,” the AIDS episode where Brenda and Dylan [Luke Perry] first go out — and where an enraged Dylan slams the flower pot into the pavement before chasing after Brenda [ed. note: Episode 1.10].  Although Karen was never offered a staff position, chances are she wrote, or co-wrote your favorite episodes, including all the ones set in Paris [ed. note: Episodes 3.3-3.5], the condom in school episode [Episode 2.21, Everybody's Talkin' 'Bout It ], the one where Scott  accidentally shoots himself, the one where Dylan meets his inner-child [Episode 3.22, The Child Is Father To The Man], the Christmas episode with the angels answer Donna’s [Tori Spelling] prayers by preventing a school bus from crashing bus [Episode 3.16, It's A Totally Happening Life], and the graduation episode [Episode 3.29, Commencement], which we wrote together. You can hear our commentary for “Commencement” on the third season DVD. Karen,  a former actress and playwright,  has a great ear for dialogue. My strength as a writer was (and is) always story and story structure — so we were great collaborators. If Mr. Spelling and I had anything in common it was our love and appreciation of nepotism.

TDW: Your daughter is just a bit older than me.  Did she watch the show growing up?  What does she think knowing her parents played a big role in one of the biggest shows of the 90s?

Rosin: My eldest daughter Lindsey was five when I started working on the 90210. She’s the cutie-pie who asks Brandon to dance the hookelau at the end of summer luau at the Beverly Hills Beach Club [ed. note: Episode 2.6, Pass/Not Pass]. Growing up she never bragged about my job, in fact, didn’t tell her teen-aged camp counselors about me until the last day of the session. Lindsey knew at a young age she wanted to be a director, and is currently developing an hour pilot with CBS Paramount — in addition to be the creative force behind showbizzle.

TDW: You have said you left the show because it was “killing” you.  Can you elaborate on that?

Rosin: For the first two seasons, Beverly Hills 90210 had the lowest license fee in broadcast television — meaning that Fox paid the Spelling Company less money to make our show than any other show in prime time.  One of the ways we cut costs was to assemble a small writing staff composed of mostly new writers,  but once our production orders increased to anywhere from 28- 32 hours a year (a standard network order for a hit show is anywhere from 13-22 episodes a year; a cable show much less than that) the lack of a big staff took its toll and I found myself working 12-16 hours a day, 6 1/2 days a week, 11 1/2 months a year.  Six weeks after I mixed my last episode, “P.S. I Love You” [ed note: Episode 5.32], one of my arteries shut down. I was 43 years old.  We caught it early. I dodged a bullet. And 15 years later, I catch waves and feel great.

TDW: Did you keep up with the show after you left?

Rosin: I was a non-exclusive script consultant for the 6th season where I read outlines and offered my suggestions — most of which weren’t followed.  I do remember watching one episode that year where NFL star quarterback Steve Young was a guest star [ed. note: Episode 6.12, Breast Side Up] because it was written by Larry Mollin and directed by Dave Semel, who both remain good friends today.   I did not watch after that — and felt that show lost much of its cultural currency and degenerated into a more pedestrian and predictable soap opera– the kind of show more aligned with the traditional Spelling aesthetic.

TDW: Your last season–the fifth–was also Carol Potter’s last.  Did you agree with the decision to get rid of Jim [James Eckhouse] and Cindy?  (Ed. note: see my related interview here.)

Rosin: Reluctantly, yes. Creatively, the show no longer evolved around the Walsh House — and although we certainly could have come up with new storylines that included the parents in a supporting capacity, both Carol Potter and Jim Eckhouse were taking home a fairly big pay check — and by writing them off the show, those monies could be applied to other things — like paying Jason Priestley [Brandon] and Jennie Garth [Kelly] to stick around.

TDW: I have to ask:  Brenda and Dylan or Kelly and Dylan?

Rosin: Brenda was our favorite character to write; the scene where Dylan and Kelly hook up the night Jack McKay was released at the pool at the Bel Age in season three [ed. note: Episode 3.19,  Back in the High Life Again] was perhaps the hottest scene we ever shot — in other words, it’s a draw…

TDW: Kelly and Dylan or Kelly and Brandon?

Rosin: I’ll always be partial to Kelly and Steve.

TDW: What was your reaction when you found out the season 10 storyline (Episodes 10.18-10.20) that Jack McKay (Josh Taylor) was alive?

Rosin: Well, I first found out about Jack McKay when I opened your e-mail. (Like I said, I didn’t watch the show once I left). But we purposely filmed the sequence in such a way as to leave this “return from the dead” storyline available. I guess they had to wait until Luke Perry returned to the series to revive this plot.

TDW: What was your reaction when you found out David and Donna were marrying in the series finale?

Rosin: It seemed about right; Karen and I and our three kids visited the set at the Beverly Hilton the day they were filming the wedding — and it was the first time I visited since I left the show five years earlier.

TDW: Do you have a favorite storyline?

Rosin: Lots of them — my favorite episode was Commencement because with all the clips that were incorporated into the two hour episode, it felt like a retrospective of the high school years.

TDW: Do you have a favorite memory from working with the cast? A favorite guest star? (There were a lot of them!)

Rosin: I loved watching Jason directing the episode “The Time Has Come Today” from the 4th Season [ed. note: Episode 4.25] where Brenda discovers a diary from the 1960’s in her bedroom. My favorite guest star would be my wife Karen, who played a lesbian in the episode “Girls On The Side,” [Episode 5.28] which she also wrote. Also Marcy Kaplan, who played TV star Lydia Leeds in the episode in which Brenda worked at the Peach Pit and became Laverne [Episode 1.16, Fame is where You Find It]. Karen and I wrote that one together.

TDW: What surprised you most while working on the show?

Rosin: Like most writers I have an active imagination — and there have been times that I thought that the script I had just written would catapult me onto a podium for an awards ceremony. But I never could have imagined being a creative force behind an international television sensation! Or that you would be asking me these questions almost 20 years from the time that I started work on the show…

TDW: Do you have any regrets or anything you would do differently?

Rosin: Biggest regret is that I didn’t establish a relationship with media executive (and visionary) Barry Diller when he was running Fox. As far as doing things differently, I would have tried to take better care of my health, and maintain a sense of humor when dealing with the network instead of getting caught up in a war zone.

TDW: Looking back on the show today, what do you think is its place in television history?

Rosin: A footnote.

TDW: Are you still in touch with any of the cast?

Rosin: Yes — Jason Priestley is a buddy. James Eckhouse too. And Ian Ziering [Steve] is a great guy with whom I recently chatted about his early years in the business which we posted on Inside The Bizzle at showbizzle. Check it out. It is a must see for 90210 fans. [Ed. note: I linked to one of the Ian interviews here but there are many more here, including ones with BH90210 producer-writer John Eisendrath]

TDW: Have you watched the new 90210? Do you have any thoughts on it?

Rosin: I watched it once. It’s a good looking cast. But to do a show called 90210 and not allow your young characters to have any socio-political context in the age of Obama speaks to the cynicism and cowardice of commercial broadcasting.

TDW: You also worked on Dawson’s Creek a bit. How did your role differ there?

Rosin: I was more involved with the business side of producing than the writing of scripts — though I certainly had a hand in the creative development of the first episodes.

TDW: How do you think the shows themselves differ?

Rosin: I leave that for your community of readers to comment.

TDW: You’re now working on a site called showbizzle. What is it, and how did it come about?

Rosin: showbizzle is a digital showcase and destination website I created with daughter Lindsey (the Hookelau girl) for emerging talent away from the immediate pressures of the market place. We created a cool show featuring 29 young actors performing 141 two-minute scripted monologues about what they are doing to jump start their careers in Hollywood as told to Janey, a fictitious blogger who hangs out at an LA coffee house. Our goal here to create a vibrant community of young actors, writers, comedians, and performers around our showbizzle content where members are encouraged to upload their original videos with the chance to be paid $$ to perform on our digital showcase. So check showbizzle.com, become a member, work with us, tell your friends — and see why Cynopsis Digital said that it “should be required viewing for kids thinking of moving out to LA LA land to chase their dreams of stardom as it delves into the frustrations of being on the outside looking in.”

TDW: Anything else you want to add?

Rosin: Hard to believe the show’s 20th anniversary is coming up . To get to know what the early days were like check out Rolling Stone Magazine’s article “Smells Like Teen Spirit” (issue 624) originally published February 20th, 1992.

For more on showbizzle, check out the original press release and, of course, head over to the site.

Come back next Sunday for another exclusive interview!

TDW Interview Index

I’ve mentioned before that I consider St Elsewhere is the greatest medical drama ever seen on TV.

It was a truly groundbreaking show which rewrote the rules for its genre in the same way that its MTM stablemate Hill Street Blues did for the police drama.

Like all medical dramas, the show featured the usual routine patient-of-the-week cases and the day-to-day lives and loves of the staff - from lowly orderlies all the way up to the most senior doctors.

However, it also dealt with many controversial issues that had previously been taboo for primetime network TV, such as rape (shockingly, carried out by one of the show’s main characters) and AIDS (St Elsewhere was the first prime-time US TV show to feature a prominent, regular character with the disease – Mark Harmon’s Dr Robert Caldwell).

In addition, the show had a wicked sense of black humour and a bizarre, playfully surreal streak. The latter was most infamously displayed in the final episode, when it is implied that the entire series was imagined by Dr Donald Westphall ’s autistic son, Tommy.

And it’s Dr Westphall that is the subject of this week’s classic scene. Frustrated at the new management of St Eligius (the proper name of the hospital featured in the show – “St Elsewhere” being a derogatory nickname) and the restrictions that cost-cutting was placing on patient care, he bows out of the show in some style.

Having earlier resigned, Westphall is summoned by his bean-counting new boss Dr John Gideon (played by Deliverance and Robocop star Ronny Cox). After a pointed comment, with an obvious double meaning, about how he collects medical antiques, Gideon offers to help Westphall repair the bridges he burned by resigning and the chance to remain at the hospital – but only if he toes the party line and becomes yes-man for his new corporate masters.

Westphall responds in typically blunt style and in what was an unusually explicit manner for network TV at that time (1987).

I only recently found out that actor Ed Flanders, who so memorably brought Dr Westphall to life, killed himself in 1995, aged 60, while suffering from depression. A sad end for a man who brought so much joy. This, then, is the Choob’s tribute to him:

Cheers

Time to take a stroll down memory lane. 80’s version. For those of you who can actually remember back to an era of shoulder pads, shoe-boots, suspenders, Lip Smackers, stirrup pants, being a Pepper, Just Saying No and Material Girls. So I was checking out a few entertainment headlines for fun and something “80’s” caught my eye. Of course it was shiny. Now, honestly, I’m just as interested in who’s-dating-who, who’s-dumped-who, who-signed-on-to-a-reality-show-just-for-the-money as the next girl. But then I saw, on AOL, one of my faves: A COUNTDOWN. Who doesn’t love a good-old-fashioned-subjective Best Of? I do. So I read on…and the topic was TV shows. Okay. And here’s what they said  -and so I thought I’d see if you agreed with what America Online had to say about the BEST TV SHOWS OF THE 80′S. And which shows made the top 4? According to this poll, it’s not Murphy Brown, it’s not Bosom Buddies, it’s not 21 Jump Street (no matter how much I wish it were), it’s not Remington Steele, nor Fame (although that’s coming back as a movie), nor even Dynasty (this seems just plain wrong). Even Cagney & Lacey didn’t even crack the top ten. But M* A* S* H, did (thank Heavens), as did St. Elsewhere. And as for the top 4? Here goes.  Now I present the findings to YOU. The question being,  do you agree? Would you award these small screen faves the 80’s top honors? Voice your choice in today’s featured poll…

Which is the best TV show of the 80’s?

1) Thirtysomething

2) Moonlighting

3) Hill Street Blues

4) Cheers

www.associatedcontent.com/article/2054481/the_power_of_a_great_television_ensemble.html

O excelente ator Denzel Washington pode estrelar uma série de televisão pelo canal americano Fox.

Primeiramente o ator seria um dos produtores executivos da série “Billy Stiles”, drama policial escrito por Virgil Wlliams (E.R). Mas a Fox percebeu que a série tem o perfil do ator e está negociando com Washington para ele ser a grande estrela do programa.

A trama de Billy Stiles surgiu de um conto escrito há seis anos por Williams, depois foi modificado para ser uma série para TV por assinatura, até chegar na sua versão final feita para TV aberta. A trama gira em torno do personagem-título da série, um gênio do crime que se transforma num policial.

O ator já teve uma passagem no mundo das séries na dácada de 80 quando estrelou na NBC “St. Elsewhere”. Denzel Washington é um magnífico ator, já ganhou dois Oscars, torço para que ele aceite o papel, já que ele a e sabe como ninguém interpretar o papel de um policial.

I had originally written this as a potential sketch but got bored when actually coming up with dialogue.  I actually think this works better in a review form.  This was originally posted on the message boards at saturday-night-live.com/forum but in case something happens where it’s lost I think I’m better off putting this here. 

Just in case there’s any confusion, this is not a real show.  This does not have the endorsement of any of the actors depicted herein or the FOX network.  Furthermore, I don’t think they would allow the suggestion at the end to be published.

The reality TV phenomena has rightly been blasted for lowering the bar of what is considered entertainment, and it was only a matter of time before it reached yet another nadir. Such new depths were plunged Wednesday night with the premiere of what appeared to be the result of letting a mentally incompetent 6-year-old choose the next cheap unscripted show, FOX’s monstrosity Celebrity Hungry Hungry Hippos.

I’ll admit there was a glimmer of hope that this would not be as painful as what the networks have been subjecting us to lately; unlike many other pointless celebrity competitions, this show’s pool of celebrities are not the same overexposed has-beens who populate every other reality show. In fact, much of the reality genre’s target audience would have a hard time placing the four contestants from the premiere episode, most of them long retired from acting: Jan Smithers (Bailey Quarters, “WKRP”), Sagan Lewis (Dr. Jacqueline Wade, “St. Elsewhere”), Frank Cady (Sam Drucker, “Green Acres”), and the then-young man with the blonde hair who was a frequent extra in the “Mary Tyler Moore” show, whose name the producers of CHHH didn’t even bother to give. Although it was welcome to see some long absent faces again, I have a feeling this lineup was chosen due to a combination of an inability to draw bigger names, called favours, blackmail, bribery, and even kidnapping.

Only the 93-year-old Cady seemed like he genuinely wanted to play, as when introducing himself he remarked that even though he’s worked with Alfred Hitchcock and has costarred in a beloved TV show, his real life’s ambition was to “whoop some behind at Hungry Hungry Hippos”. It was less clear why Smithers and Lewis were playing. Lewis appeared confused and disoriented throughout, at various points denying her resemblance to one of the characters on House and stating that it was her understanding that the contestants would be playing with real hippos. Smithers was for the most part diplomatic, although several times in the show it was apparent she was not too happy with appearing on the show. This became apparent after the host made some insensitive comments regarding her being “the one that wasn’t Loni Anderson” on her old show, and ignorantly asking about her “brother” Waylon. The extra, apparently appearing under duress, made several unsuccessful escape attempts throughout the game.

It would have helped if they found a charming and affable host. Unfortunately, the best the producers could come up with was Dave Coulier. Smithers was the most visibly annoyed at the former “Full House” co-star, at one point threatening him “Watch it, Stamos.” In what had to be the most uncomfortable moment in an entire show of them, Coulier admitted that he wished he was John Stamos, followed by almost 30 seconds of silent staring between all parties. Making matters worse, Coulier evidently had not been briefed on the rules of the game and after the fifth fallacy regarding the game, had to be screamed at by an off-camera voice.

There were myriad other problems with the production. The show was apparently shot with a nonexistant budget on either a poorly lit set or an unfurnished basement (investigations into the matter were inconclusive), with the actual board game resting on a card table with its short leg propped up by a book. In the most egregious example of a lack of planning on their part, the network did not bother to ensure that the game had all the marbles. As the customers were notified of the situation, Cady tried to keep order but Smithers wasted no time in socking Lewis in the jaw, and the extra tried to use the distraction to make a break for it. Whether or not this incident was staged to create conflict is up for debate, but I doubt the producers would have had the talent to properly stage something.

All the ineptitude of the production aside, the gameplay itself was rather dull due to the obvious nature of the strategy, eating the most marbles. If not for the revelation that Cady was cheating at the game (at one point hiding his opponents marbles in his mouth), and Lewis continually consoling her plastic hippo (dubbed “Freckles”) it would have been an otherwise uneventful game; clearly not something with a lot of inherent drama. However, the show continued to invent new levels of awfulness, particularly in the awarding of the game prizes: the main prize (ostensibly to be donated to charity) was a gift certificate for McDonalds, while the runner up received the book propping the game table’s leg up; adding insult to injury this book was Coulier’s unpublished memoir Cut It Out. By this point in the game, Coulier had used his catchphrase so many times Smithers threatened to cut him if he didn’t stop saying it. Even after the threat, Coulier could not resist.

At this point the show descended into chaos: Smithers hit Coulier with the book while Lewis grabbed the hippo from the board and attacked him, screaming “Get ‘im Freckles!” The extra managed to escape, and in the midst of what was happening around him, Cady began shovelling marbles into his pockets. At this point the videotape mercifully cuts out.

Suprisingly, considering the issues regarding the hippo and the table leg, several other episodes have been taped, although I don’t know what FOX would be trying to prove by airing them besides its utter contempt for people with any of the five senses.

If anyone is given the choice of watching this show or shoving their face into a moving propeller, I would suggest they think hard for a minute, then run face first into the blades. It’s a sacrifice I believe the sane would make.

Canadian television network ichannel launches its ninth season on Monday, September 21^st, including new programs that address the “good and bad news” of our ecology, as well as several star-empowered charities and their “A” List supporters. 

New in-house production “Celebrity Soapbox” provides a forum for Hollywood stars, recording artists and the like to elaborate upon causes for which they are both well informed and dedicated.  Early scheduled guests include Ted Danson, Chantal Kreviazuk, Wyclef Jean and Indigo Girls.

Ted Danson’s concerns lie with saving oceans, so the former Cheers star’s Celebrity Soapbox episode fits right in with another prominent topic on ichannel’s 2009-2010 program roster:  our embattled environment.  A new ichannel in-house production, slated for premiere in January 2010, is Green Diaries.  The program features Candice Batista, host of “Pet Central” on The Pet Network and known for her work as a veteran environmental reporter; Batista travels across Canada assessing regional planet preservation efforts, with appropriate congratulatory or reproachful evaluations.  Green Diaries will be followed by the Robert Redford hosted Global Focus, profiling initiators of ecological directives across our planet. 

The “idoc” documentary series returns with themes that include a brothel-eye-view of larger-than-life working girl Xavier Hollander in Happy Hooker: Portrait of a Sexual Revolutionary, the self-explanatory title We Love Cigarettes, the heart-wrenching Breast Cancer Diaries, a portrait of gender-based genocide called India’s Missing Girls, an eye-opening profile of Nigeria’s religion-infused legal system Inside a Shari’ah Court, along with several short series including the works of award-winning documentarian Louis Theroux, and the nail-biting real event dramatization series Special Forces Heroes.  Undoubtedly the most notable milestone for ichannel this season is the introduction of the network’s first self-produced feature documentary; Milk War follows impassioned Durham, Ontario dairy farmer Michael Schmidt’s battle to legalize the sale of unpasteurized milk.      

ichannel’s flagship debate and discussion forum @issue is back to challenge and explore headlines through the assertions and insights of opinionated authoritative guests; this season promises to be the most explosively controversial series of programs in the franchise’s history.    The Film is back this Fall season, with new award winning films and major marquee stars.   Another star-packed entry into the ichannel lineup is St. Elsewhere; the Emmy and Peabody award-winning drama features the early work of Denzel Washington, Mark Harmon, Howie Mandel, Bruce Greenwood, Alfre Woodard, Helen Hunt, and Ed Begley, Jr.  Other favourites like MSI, Helen Help Us! and Drug Class return with new episodes. 

For a complete listing and schedule of ichannel’s fall shows, visit www.ichannel.ca.  ichannel – Intelligent Television - is available by subscription through local cable and satellite television providers across Canada.  The digital cable network is owned and operated by Stornoway Communications.   

For further information, contact:  Rosemary Fusca, (416) 756-5523, rfusca@stornoway.com

After deep study I have come to the semi-scientific conclusion that Intelligent Design is a fallacy. I base this conclusion on the ongoing study I have done of my body and the shocking discovery that the design is shoddy. Bad back, bad knees, loss of hair where you need it and growth of same where you don’t. Surely if an ultimate being had designed humankind  it would have been possible to build a better model.

Maybe teeth that would re-grow as the old ones wore out? No migration of the hair from the head to the ears? Possibly mental improvement rather than mental decline as we get older? Would that be too much to ask from intelligent design?

If (as they claim) it is entirely possible to extend life to 150 years what’s the point if the body is set to collapse by the time you reach your 80s. Were we purposely designed for planned obsolescence? Which I suppose could be part of intelligent design, but then what would be the point of making us smart enough to extend our life span if we end up for the last fifty years or so sitting in some dreary nursing home wondering who we were. Possibly we are simply a prototype?

Then again we haven’t done too well with evolution either. Granted we learned to walk upright and lost a lot of body hair in the process, learned to vocalize and went from drumming on a hollow logs to piano concertos. But what has it done for us lately? It seems that the process has stalled out. This is disappointing seeing as new studies indicate that birds can evolve to changing conditions over short periods of time. Where did man go wrong?

Or – maybe as in the final episode of St. Elsewhere we are simply a figment of an autistic child’s imagination. That would simplify things.

So many questions and so few answers. Slow night.

(Loosely categorized under ‘humour’)

It was just another 24 hours in the ER of Chicago’s County Hospital. I had expected the roof to cave-in, the ER to close because of the financial crisis (or the opening of the Carter Center), or at least for John Carter and his wife to get back together. The one thing I really liked was the pan-out at the end showing the hospital (complete with its neon sign and the EL going around it) and the staff responding to yet another large catastrophe.

It was an okay sendoff, but I wish everybody had come back for the finale. At least we got to see them in the retrospective hour before the finale and in some of the episodes this last year. I will definitely miss ER, but as one of the cast members said about the soundstage/set: “It is not the Berlin Wall, it is only a TV show.” Even so, it touched my life along with thousands, maybe millions of other viewers. It was something to look forward to. It took me out of my own problems. ER will be missed.

Tell me what you thought of the finale or why no show can really replace ER. (Of course, that’s what I thought about St. Elsewhere when it ended after only five seasons in the 1980s!)

P.S. Thank goodness for reruns and Tivo!!

Like me, you may be old enough to remember when episodic television ruled.

A crime was committed at the beginning of a show and solved by the end. The following week another crime would be  committed and wrapped up within 50-minutes or so and everyone would go to bed satisfied.

These days, of course, it’s all arcs, volumes and series-long mysteries, 24-week long teases. Is he in a coma – looks like it. Will they get off the island – no, yes, but they’ll go back. Who the hell is spray-painting Bad Wolf all over the shop? That kind of thing.

With a serial element incorporated into many genre shows, programme-makers suddenly have to bank a denouement which explains sometimes torturous show mythologies if and when the whole thing grinds to a halt. And they can often tie themselves in knots wrapping up a series.

The US hospital show St. Elsewhere infamously revealed the whole series had been the imagination of an autistic child. David Chase alienated half his loyal audience by having Tony Soprano’s fate hinge on an enigmatic fade to black.

Sometimes it can be a difficult to tie up loose ends when a show is cancelled quickly. Patrick McGoohan had to admit to Lew Grade that he didn’t have an ending for The Prisoner, although the nonsense he managed to come up with quickly seemed to do the trick. 

And now the US version of Life On Mars has divided audiences with its bonkers resolution to its central mystery. The explanation for Sam Tyler’s time-travelling in the UK-version was most-satisfactory, but had been so heavily signposted for two series that you couldn’t fail to see it coming.

In the US, they seem to have a more cavalier attitude to this kind of thing. If you, like me, have no intention of watching it, you may find the answers here at Dark Horizons.

How did your favourite series end, I wonder?

It was early January 2006, when a friend introduced me to Gnarls Barkley. At that time Crazy, of course was nowhere near the Billboard hit it would later become, but that infectious bass line and Cee-Lo’s soprano vocals lead me to believe that even if no one else caught on that I would always check for them.  From that day forth, Gnarls and I have coexisted peacefully.  St. Elsewhere was such a good album and The Odd Couple almost seamlessly followed course.  Who’s Going to Save My Soul is a single from the latter album.  The video, as you will see, is eccentric as all hell yet is very potent in conveying the song’s message of that one never really heals after a devastating break up.  Peep it.

Gnarls Barkley: Who’s Going to Save My Soul

Before I give you a run-down of my surgical experience, I thought you might like a little trivia test.  Can you name the shows that featured these hospitals?   Some may still be on the air.  And, I’ll admit I had to look up a couple.

1. Seattle Grace
2. County General
3. Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital
4. St. Eligius
5. Rampart General
6. Sacred Heart

Answers at the bottom of the post.

Yep.  I made it out the other side, friends.  I’m home after my hysterectomy which was exactly one week ago.  Fifteen staples will be removed tomorrow, and I will be feeling a whole lot better.  I’m already feeling better than two weeks ago, so the recovery is looking very promising.

There were highlights and lowlights, as you would expect with most hospital stays.  The staff was very kind, and I would choose Mo Bap again any time.  Hopefully not too soon. 

I promise not to gross you out with any of the stories.  Which leaves me exactly one story to tell.

I was expected to walk the day after surgery, which was not a problem because I was on Percocet and still had morphine left in me, so I was not feeling much pain.  I was on the maternity floor, so Tom and I walked to the nursery.  There weren’t any babies in there.  Aww.  But, as we walked we saw several moms and dads wheeling their babies in the hallways.  I told Tom, “I’ll consider this a good walk if no one asks if I had a boy or a girl or how many centimeters I’m dilated.”  We were literally two doors away from making it back to my room, when a woman in a business suit came out of an office and said, “Good for you!”  Obviously she thought I was working through contractions.  DOH!  So close! 

I didn’t let it bother me too much.  Tom and I just went back into the room, closed the door, and scarfed down cookies from the cookie bouquet my friends sent me.

Once I got home, the kids were glad to be back home too, since they had spent the past few days at my parents’ house.  What they didn’t know was that they were going to spend two more nights there so that I could really get some rest.  This was a major disappointment and you would have thought we were sending them to Git-Mo.  I told them I was going to be a fun-sucker for awhile, and that I was sorry, but they were just going to have to deal with it.  With pouty faces, they left.

When they came back for good, they did their best not to just say “hi” and run out the door.  Which was fine with me, it was a nice day, and I wanted them to play with their friends.  But, before they went, I had something to show them.  I said, “Okay, kiddos, I want to show you what Mom went through and why you are going to have to cut me some slack.”  I lifted up my shirt and showed them my Frankenstein belly.  There were gasps.  There were grossed-out faces.  Faces were turning white.

I know Tom didn’t exactly agree with my showing them the incision and stitches, but as I explained to him later, they couldn’t see anything wrong with me, so it was hard for them to understand why I couldn’t get out of the chair without help or make them dinner.  Now they know.  They did a 180.  They are more than happy to help with anything.  Sometimes a little dose of reality is all you need.

And, now for your trivia answers:

1. Seattle Grace – Grey’s Anatomy
2. County General – ER
3. Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital – House (I had to look this one up to get the exact name.  I just remembered Princeton and Teaching Hospital.)
4. St. Eligius – St. Elsewhere  (Remember how the hospital turned out to be a snow globe?  Wild.)
5. Rampart General – Emergency!  (I can still hear Dixie:  ”Rampart 451, go ahead.”  Or something like that.  Loved that show.)
6. Sacred Heart – Scrubs (This one I didn’t know because I haven’t seen more than 2 episodes, but I figured there might be a Scrubs fan out there that would be upset if it wasn’t included)

This week, possibly the greatest medical drama of all time.

Let’s return to Boston’s teaching hospital St Eligius, better known as St Elsewhere.

The NBC show ran for six seasons (137 episodes) between 1982 and 1988 and was one of the early hits on the newly launched Channel 4 in the UK.

Great show, great characters, great theme tune – and one of the most memorable final episode final scenes in the history of TV.

Enjoy!

Ed Begley, Jr., best known as Dr. Victor Ehrlich on the long-running television series St. Elsewhere, shows up at star studded Hollywood functions on a bicycle.

His effort in the environmental community has warranted him awards from major environmental groups in the nation, including the California League of Conservation Voters, The Coalition for Clean Air, the Natural Resources Defense Council, Heal the Bay and the Santa Monica Baykeeper.

He is a strong supporter of solar systems and encourages homeowners with roofs that receive the full sun throughout the day to take advantage of small solar systems.

Begley, Jr. owns a high-end solar system, which makes his home in Los Angeles self-sufficient. But for those homeowners who would rather have a small system with far fewer panels, he believes, is an excellent way to start being green. He feels strongly about the issue and states on his website the urgency of forming subsidies to those homeowners who want solar.

Time to bring a hip-hop album to the table. I can’t say I’m a fan of hip-hop, but this album is just too good to ignore. If you listen to radio, you have most certainly heard the song Crazy from this album. Well, that’s the song that caught my attention. It’s really catchy and radio-friendly, and although that doesn’t make a song uninteresting (there are some great radio-friendly songs), that’s what happens almost everytime, but there’s more to this song than just that.

Good lyrics are a constant throughout the whole album. It has some really good lines ( “Everybody is somebody, but nobody wants to be themselves, (…)”).

Even if you’re not a fan of the genre, it’s still a very good album you should check out.

Original Release Date: May 9, 2006

Tracklisting:

1. Go Go Gadget Gospel
2. Crazy
3. St. Elsewhere
4. Gone Daddy Gone
5. Smiley Faces
6. The Boogie Monster
7. Feng Shui
8. Just a Thought
9. Transformer
10. Who Cares?
11. On-Line
12. Necromancing
13. Storm Coming
14. The Last Time

You won’t feel a thing. Well, perhaps a stirring in your loins as you watch these two clips. Both clips offer the best of the medical videos: the exploration, the hospital bed, the vulnerability of the patient. Let’s have a look:

This first video, titled Coma Ward and starring pixied cutie Gauge is an old favorite of mine. I remember it from many years ago from a site that is long gone. As far as porn clips go, Coma Ward is incredibly well done: with different sets, a lot of lines, and a somewhat believable premise. Gauge plays a comatose patient (we are even treated to a defenition of the word coma before the clip starts. There is a film student at work somewhere here, people!) who has her stimulus response checked by a devoted blonde nurse and a sleazy, alcoholic doctor trying to get his license back. Gauge is amazing at keeping herself still while her co-stars lick, fondle, and eventually fuck her. However, and I won’t tell you where, there is a point where you can see her move a little bit. But, for the most part, she stays true to her character.

And that’s what really impressed me with this clip. The acting wasn’t terrible, this could easily be a movie on Skinemax.

The second video is slated to enter the Carnal Knowledge Smut Hall of Fame, or at least, my little corner of it. While poking around fantasti.cc for other doctor videos, I was drawn to the still image of this video. It’s very brief, from Boob Exam Scam, which from my skimming of their website, is a nothing special porno site based on the premise that all of these women have diseases that can only be cured with sex.  The clip is titled Eaten Out At Boob Exam. It should be titled: 3 minutes and 30 seconds of non stop hot.

Perhaps these actors had slept together before off camera or perhaps they’re in a relationship or maybe they just have a crazy amount of sexual tension, but to see this level of genuine heat coming through is so rare in the cold and faceless world of Internet porn.  There is so much here: the whispering on his part, the breathing (made even better by the lack of music), the writhing around, the slow, deliberate movements of his hands, the way she leans into him as she closes her eyes: it’s almost..romantic. They kiss like normal people, not the tongue only kisses of the porn world. She is reduced to a mere puddle, where breaths and moans equal words.  Unfortunately, we are only treated to a small sliver of this film, and somewhere out there is the rest.

More doctor videos on the way but Miss Luna is turning into a pumpkin.Till next time…

Perhaps you watched the 60th Annual Primetime Emmy Award show Sunday night. Maybe you were in it for the jokes. Maybe you were in it to see who wore the prettiest/ugliest dress. I was in it from the beginning to see how Julie and I would fare since we made our picks on this blog last week.

See how we did (SPOILER ALERT: neither of us gets them all right), and what I thought of the award show after the jump!

Oprah was there! She looked lovely in a red dress. Then came all five hosts, also nominees in the Best Reality Host category. Jeff Probst was the only one not wearing a tie – even model Heidi Klum was wearing a black suit and tie. The hosts all pointed out they are not scripted. Tom Bergeron & Klum looked bored as Probst, Ryan Seacrest & Howie Mandel talked and talked. The talkers left the stage. William Shatner came up on the stage, they ripped the suit off Ms. Klum to reveal a sequined shorts jumper.

Tina Fey & a very pregnant Amy Poehler presented the award for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series. They did some silly foreign language bit, then got on with the nominees. Jeremy Piven won, making it his third consecutive Emmy for this category (all from “Entourage”). score: Julie 0, Nicole 1

Bergeron & Seacrest are sitting in Monk’s Cafe – where the Seinfeld gang cozied up, chatted and ate – sometimes a big salad. Next, a clip of “Seinfeld” from that “contest” episode. Julia Louis Dreyfus comes out in a pretty salmon colored dress. She’s presenting Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series. Jean Smart wins for her performance on “Samantha Who?” score: Julie 0, Nicole 1

Klum (in a ruffled cream colored dress) & Probst (still sans tie) introduce a clip of “Desperate Housewives.” Then, we see the ladies sitting in a living room-like set that looks like it was plucked from Wisteria Lane. They’re all there to give the award for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series. Wow! Zeljko Ivanek won for his role on “Damages.” I did not see that coming! score: Julie 0, Nicole 1

Ricky Gervais came out. He pointed out he won last year. He gave pointers on how to give a good acceptance speech. He said they should keep it short, especially if not on camera. Don’t cry. Then, there are clips of other winners – all funny and ending with Steve Carrell stealing Gervais’ award. Carrell proceeds to stare him down. So funny. Gervais starts tickling Carrell to get his Emmy. Finally, Carrell gives it up. Then, the award for Outstanding Directing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Program. The guy who directed last year’s Academy Awards. If you want his name, or the names of any of those people who aren’t on camera (as well as the other awards that were presented earlier), click here.

Funny clip from “The Simpsons.” Conan O’Brien comes out to talk about the cartoon, where he started out as a writer. After saying he would have made a few more jokes, but Katherine Heigl didn’t think they were “Emmy worthy,” he presents the award for Outstanding Performance by a Supporting Actress in a Drama Series. Diane Wiest wins for her role on “In Treatment.” score: Julie 0, Nicole 1

Jennifer Love Hewitt & Hayden Panettiere present the award for Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Program. “The Colbert Report” writers win their first Emmy! Colbert takes the award. He tells Hollywood all is forgiven, then goes about thanking everyone even after the music starts.

Mandel & Probst return. They bring out the accountants – the people who do the tabulating for the awards show. Then, they introduce Steve Martin. He talks about his time as a writer on “The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour.” He says Tommy Smothers did not want his name on the list for Emmy consideration and the show won. Now, Smothers gets a Commemorative Emmy for Outstanding Writing Achievement in Comedy/Variety Writing. Smothers gets a standing ovation as he takes the stage. How does he remember all those people who worked on show that hasn’t aired in four decades? He makes a speech about peace and war before dedicating his Emmy to people who feel compelled to speak out.

Klum (in a black and white dress) & Seacrest are back. They introduce Josh Groban. He sings TV theme songs. It’s weird. It’s awkward. It’s kinda funny. Blink and you missed Ed McMahon (I hope they paid him – he needs the cash).

Alec Baldwin takes the stage to present Outstanding Lead Actress in a Miniseries or Movie. Laura Linney wins for her role on “John Adams.” It’s her third Emmy win in three nominations. score: Julie 0, Nicole 2

Bergeron talks about “Laugh In,” before they roll a clip with all kinds of people saying “Sock it to me!” That’s the phrase made famous by the show. Then, a whole bunch of the show’s stars are there to introduce the award for Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Series. “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart” wins.

Klum shows the dresses designed by a couple of reality show stars. Then, Lauren Conrad and (a very annoyed looking) David Borneaz reveal the nominees in Outstanding Guest Actor and Actress in a Comedy Series (they received their awards earlier). Tim Conway won for “30 Rock” and Kathryn Joosten for “Desperate Housewives.” Joosten appeared to present the award for Outstanding Director for a Comedy Series. The guy from “Pushing Daisies” wins. Conrad & Borneaz presented the award for Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series (cool note: they showed the nominees on people’s cell phones in the audience). Tina Fey wins for “30 Rock.” It’s her third Emmy win!

Bergeron pitches to a clip of “West Wing.” Oh, how I miss this show. Martin Sheen is sitting in his old set, behind that big desk. He talks about the televised Presidential debates. He’s encouraging everyone to vote in the November election – at least once. Then, a guy who’s behind the awards show comes out and makes a speech I’m totally not interested in. Why do they do this during the show? Get on with the awards!

Christian Slater & Christina Applegate (in a blue/silvery dress) exchange kind of nice words. Then, the present the award for Outstanding Made for Television Movie. “Recount” wins.

A clip from “Dragnet” airs, then Probst is sitting on the set. He introduces William Peterson & Laurence Fishburne (who’s dressed like a valet). They’re presenting the award for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Miniseries. Tom Wilkinson from “John Adams” wins. score: Julie 0, Nicole 2

Jon Stewart & Steven Colbert say they aren’t there to talk about politics. Colbert starts eating prunes and says America needs a prune. He says it has experience we need. Stewart says after 8 years of prunes, you would think… They present the award for Outstanding Directing for a Miniseries, Movie or a Dramatic Special. Jay Roach wins for “Recount.” Then, they present the award for Outstanding Writing for a Miniseries, Movie or a Dramatic Special. Kirk Ellis wins for “John Adams.” His speech is cut off.

Mandel is out with medical speech he remembers from his days on “St. Elsewhere.” He introduces a clip from “M.A.S.H.”

Sandra Oh & Patrick Dempsey present Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or a Movie. Eileen Atkins wins for “Cranford (Masterpiece).”

Kathy Griffin & Don Rickles appear from a tent (a la “M.A.S.H.”). The sensors better be ready! Griffin gets everyone on their feet. Rickles agrees to read the “funny lines they wrote for us.” They finally present the award for Outstanding Reality-Competition Program. “The Amazing Race” wins. score: Julie 1, Nicole 2

Sally Field (in a lovely black dress) presents the award for Outstanding Miniseries. “John Adams” wins. Tom Hanks accepts the award.

Klum & Bergeron do a demonstration on the difference between “drama” (Bergeron catches Klum) and “comedy” (Bergeron drops Klum).

Neil Patrick Harris & Kristin Chenoweth present Outstanding Individual Performance in a Variety or Music Program. Don Rickles wins for “Mr Warmth: The Don Rickles Project.” His show already won an Emmy. Rickles says he’s stunned. Then, he tells a funny, heart-felt story.

Kate Walsh (ooh – where’s the red hair?) & Wayne Brady present Outstanding Guest Actor & Actress in a Drama Series. Glynn Turman (“In Treatment”) & Cynthia Nixon (“Law & Order: SVU”) win. They present the award for Outstanding Directing for a Drama Series. The guy from “House” wins. Walsh & Brady present Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series. The guy who penned an episode of “Mad Men” wins (it’s actually his third Emmy). score: Julie 1, Nicole 2

Glenn Close presents the award for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Miniseries or Movie. Paul Giamatti wins for “John Adams.” He says he’s “living proof that anybody can play the President.” score: Julie 2 (though she also picked Gervais), Nicole 3

Candace Bergen comes out in a sparkly suit. She says her father, who was a radio star, was the first president of the Television Academy. Citing an obscure by-law, she says she’s allowed to present any award she wants to. Her pick: Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series. Alec Baldwin wins for “30 Rock.” It’s his first win in seven nominations (not all from “30 Rock”). score: Julie 2, Nicole 3

Vanessa Williams & America Ferrera present Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series. Glenn Close wins for “Damages.” It’s her second Emmy win. score: Julie 2, Nicole 4

The tribute to those entertainers we’ve lost int he last year. So sad.

Kiefer Sutherland presents the award for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series. Bryan Cransten wins for “Breaking Bad.” It’s his first win and fourth nomination. score: Julie 2, Nicole 4 (though I did give him a shout out)

Brooke Shields & Craig Ferguson (who does some groping of Ms. Shields) present the award for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series. Tina Fey wins for “30 Rock.” It’s her fourth Emmy win. score: Julie 2, Nicole 5 (if I give Julie credit for an earlier award, I’m taking some credit for this one)

Jimmy Kimmel presents the very first award for Outstanding Host for Reality or Reality-Competition show. Jimmy does a funny thing where “judges” critique the hosts. And just like so many of those hosts have done to the competitors/performers, the hosts have to wait for a commercial break to learn who wins. Probst wins for “Survivor.” score: Julie 3, Nicole 5

Funny clip of “Mary Tyler Moore” plays before the lovely MTM (in a great black dress – hello, awesome arms!) takes the stage (with her show set right behind her). She introduces Betty White, who she says has been on television for 60 years!). Standing ovation for Ms. White. They present the award for Outstanding Comedy Series. “30 Rock” wins. score: Julie 3, Nicole 5

Tom Selleck presents the award for Outstanding Drama Series. “Mad Men” wins. score: Julie 3, Nicole 5

Since they didn’t air the choreography category, I looked it up to give us a final score. The winner is Wade Robson from “So You Think You Can Dance.” That brings our final tally to Julie 4, Nicole 6.

I have to say, the best part of watching this awards show for me was not the show itself. I was so excited to see all the promos for the upcoming Fall season. I cannot wait for all those shows I’ve missed to return. And I’m excited about some of the new shows starting in the next few weeks! That’s another blog post…