Dalai Lama

There’s so much going on I feel sick. A walking bag of contradictions, I’m potentially homeless as of the 14^th of December. Fortunately if it comes to that a kind friend has offered me a temporary stay at his digs. I am proud that for 6 months I have abstained from retaliating at my verbally abusive housemate, who has made my life almost unbearable. There was a time when I would have thought little about reducing her to a quaking mess by outdoing her on the malicious attacks of character, but I didn’t. I rationalised as the Dalai Lama suggests and identify that it is her faults that make her that way and I am fortunate to be strong enough in character to know that in time she’ll be one of the many who will be overshadowed by my success. Now that she is finally moving out she has caused a vacume of chaos as without a replacement soon myself and my other housemate cannot afford to live here.  All I can do, which I always do, is quietly take note of all the people that have hurt me greatly and are selfish and rather than take revenge, I intend to make them issue it to themselves in the form of envy of me. Exactly the same way all those who bullied me at school calling me ‘ugly’, ‘geeky’ etc are the ones now sending essentially fan mail to my facebook inbox because of the pretty pictures. At the same time I intend to show the people that envy me that I deserve the good things in my life and have paid a high price to be alive, so that they might be happy for me instead. I really don’t like how society works right now and wonder if has always been this way?

Whenever I’m unavailable, too busy etc I have dozens of invites to hang out with different people doing different things ‘being cool’ in ‘cool’ places. Though when I’m at a loose end, pottering about on my own and in need of some ‘one on one’ with the few people I’m open with, they’re too busy or don’t want to know. It’s like everyone expects the best of us but they don’t want to help you with it. If you’re awesome the party animal laughing at anything and cracking funny jokes you get rewarded with being popular, in demand, favoured and ‘loved’. Its not love though is it? When I’m down and unhappy people treat me like I’m disfigured, like they don’t want to look at me because I’m not aesthetically pleasing. Where’s the love in that?

So many people I hang out with are essentially famous within their social circles. Lapping up the admiration from their followers, but like fame, what’s the real point?

Quantity is an alternative to quality. The people who need an abundance of people liking them to make them feel complete are mainly because they lack a small number of good people around them. As someone who likes to write if I ever get a book published I would rather be Mary B .Anderson successful than Katie Price successful! The same as preferring to be Tom Waits than Britney Spears, one word of approval from someone one respects is worth more than approval from ten morons.

This is all a tangent as I amble words down the page, I just want to stay where I am. I find the Christmas season hard without a proper family and just want to stay in what has become my home. I don’t want to move into a strange house with strange people when I have a fireplace right here. These hindrances to my happiness seem a little unfair, I know very well that life is unfair, but it gets ever harder to tolerate. I just want to buy a house of my own and move friends in for free, eat together and create nice things. I have been dating a hedge fund tycoon and Laurie (my amusing friend) makes fun of me (with suggestions that I’m a gold digger) and thinks it amazing that I have a deca-millionaire trying to seduce me.

Laurie and I

Bertrandt (the man) could whisk me away and remedy so many things, but it would be a quick fix. I don’t want to be taken away from my lifestyle. I like being bohemian and free. Summers at his other house in St Tropez and spontaneous trips to Rome have been fantastic offers, but I turned him down on each occasion. I don’t want more than I already have. I just want to have it consistent. My level of contentment is much lower than other peoples, hence my great frustration. How much more do i have to bare? It’s like the universe is playing a sadistic game of buckaroo with my tolerance.

I popped down to the press day of Australian swimwear brands Moontide and Bond-eye to check out their offer for ss10. Although it’s hard to imagine bikini-wearing weather with the rain pouring down outside, freezing temperatures and 70 mph winds..the burst of bright colours and floral prints gave me a glimpse of things to come! Much of Moontide’s offer (above) is also reversible -two for the price if one- so great if you’re on a budget! You can buy it online at www.very.co.uk. I loved Bond-eye’s range (below), the designs are really fun and young…I just need to book my winter-sun break now to wear them…!
You can buy Bond-eye online at www.very.co.uk.

I also tried my first St.Tropez spray tan…which was amazing! The tanning expert sprayed me once all over, then went over it again with a darker shade to contour in more of a shape to the tan- the result: a toned look which slims you immediately! See my before and after shots below…
What I really liked about the tan is its natural look, I hate it when fake tan looks obvious and caked on..footballer’s wives-style!

Prices start from about £25 and should last up to a week if you keep moisturising. Check out St.Tropez’s website www.st-tropez.co.uk for your nearest salon. If you’re looking for that perfect party dress..accessorise with a St.Tropez tan to complete the look- it really gives you that winter pick-me-up!

fashionbite xx

St. Tropez, originally uploaded by AshtonColeman.

St. Tropez Sunny Isles amazing pool deck with water ponds & ivy spanning the grand entrance.

In my MOST FAVORITE editorial ever… Just a big ol daydream. He’s a total bad boy and I imagine traipsing around the globe with him. Eating too much, drinking lots of Champagne, dining in the hotel restaurant in my bikini… And I think he’s quirky, love the beard (of course), has great style and sketchy past… What more could a girl need?

Here’s real life pictures of Lapo Elkann basically doing the same as above in St. Tropez a few months ago with Bianca Brandolini d’Adda. Love her effortless style too.

This superb, new property is situated in a private residential domain on a hillside at La Croix Valmer, with wonderful panoramic views over the sea towards the Iles de Levant.

The beautiful beach at Gigaro is just 5 minutes drive away, and the neighbouring nature reserve covering the three Caps of Lardier, Camarat and Taillet, provides some of the most beautiful and secluded beaches on the St Tropez peninsula.

The famous Pampelonne beach, with its long stretches of white sand bordered by beach bars and restaurants, is 10 minutes away. St Tropez with its nightlife is 15 minutes away and the beautiful hilltop villages of Gassin and Ramatuelle are within 10 minutes.

The property extends to one hectare with the villa surrounded by an attractive landscaped garden with trees, flowering shrubs and roses, and uninterrupted sea views. Being in a conservation zone the remainder of the garden is woodland. To the front of the house are a series of grassed terraces with a beautiful heated infinity swimming pool (14m x 5m). The pool has an electric cover for security. The garden is cleverly designed to ensure that privacy is always available even for large parties.

Despite being a new villa, the clever use of reclaimed oak beams with vaulted ceilings ensures an established ambience. Decorated throughout in subtle Farrow and Ball colours, the overall sensation is one of light and space, enhanced further by the framing of the sea views from the public rooms, with retractable sliding doors. All six en-suite bedrooms have sea views, with the master bedroom opening to a large private terrace.

Of course, being newly built the features of modern living are well catered for; the living room has a plasma TV with surround sound, DVD and satellite television. Televisions with satellite are also provided in the kitchen and two of the bedrooms.

For children an Xbox and Playstation are available. Air-conditioning is available throughout the house and the kitchen is fully equipped with an American fridge and large Lacanche range with two full-sized ovens. For families with toddlers, please note that there are some steep drops in the garden, and young children would have to be watched carefully.

Ground Floor

Entrance hall. Guest WC.

Large living room with fire place, plasma TV, satellite, DVD player and surround sound.

Dining room with fire place. Fully-fitted kitchen with dining area, opening onto a covered terrace with table and seating for 12. Gas barbecue.

First Floor

Master bedroom with king-size twin bed(180cm), sofa and en-suite bathroom (bath and separate shower), and dressing room, and opening to a terrace with spectacular sea views.

Lower Ground Floor

Large guest bedroom with double bed (160cm), seating area, en-suite bathroom and double doors opening onto garden. Double bedroom (180cm twin) with en-suite shower room.

Upper Ground Floor

Double bedroom (160cm) with en-suite bathroom. Double bedroom(160cm) with en-suite shower room. Double bedroom(160cm) with en-suite shower room.

Garage with laundry area and parking for one car.

Distances

Gigaro (nearest beach): 5 minutes

La Croix Valmer: 5 minutes

St. Tropez: 15 minutes

Pampelonne beaches: 10 minutes

Gassin: 5 minutes

Ramatuelle: 10 minutes

Inquire About This Property

Had the best of intentions but life got in the way.

Where does time go? It’s falls away like sand through my hand; before I know it, I have nothing left.

Spent some time in the South of France recently.  The weather was beautiful; warm and sunny in the daytime although it did get a bit chilly in the evening.

We stayed in a B & B but I didn’t really like it very much. The room was fine although the en-suite bathroom would have benefitted greatly by having a solid door instead of the saloon swing doors that allowed a view of head and feet accompanied by glorious surround-sound.

I may love my other half to bits but I do like privacy when attending to my ablutions and other toilet activities.

St Tropez was very busy despite it being out of season. There was a 4 day Braderie taking place and this brought the punters in from all around. Loads of stalls were set up everywhere – in the Place des Lices, down streets and passages – selling discounted designer goods amongst the end of season stuff. It was heaving!

There were no bargains for the English pound. Times have changed for us Brits. We are having to pay over the odds almost everywhere. For example, a set lunch of 3 courses was around £17 (without any drinks) and a basic pizza started at £10.

We ended up doing a couple of supermarket shops and cooking at the B & B which had a separate kitchen for the use of guests. I reckon we must have saved ourselves around £200 in food and drink bills.

We hired a car. Drove to Hyeres and took a boat trip to Isle de Porquerolles, or, as we call it: Isle of Pork Rolls! What a lovely place – definitely one to come back to when we have longer to spend there. Another place to revisit is Le Lavandou.

Stayed one night in Nice at the West End Hotel on the Promenade des Anglais. The view of the sea from our balcony was fabulous. We were even able to sunbathe without going outside because the sun just streamed in. This turned out to be a mega disadvantage later in the day when the room had heated up to an unbearable temperature and we found that the aircon was pumping out heat. It turned out that the hotel had turned the aircon off for the winter!

Well, it was good to get away somewhere warm before hunckering down for a dismal autumn and winter at home.

La Marsa Une marche sur la belle plage au sable fin et doré vers Gammarth à gauche de la résidence ou la Corniche à droite de la résidence.

Ne pas manquer l’occasion de passer un petit moment de répit, en promenant dans le beau et agréable jardin de l’ancien palais présidentiel Essaada (à 200 m de la maison) transformé en parc communale de La Marsa, c’est le poumon vert du centre ville, où les enfants trouvent des jeux très agréables.

 

Librairie du mon quartier

L’entrée aux jardins Essaada coûte 1 dinar (0,60 €). Il donne accès à un grand parc boisé et fleuri où on trouve des cybercafés, des aires de jeux pour les enfants, des fontaines et un mini golf.Dans le centre commercial du zéphyr on trouve aussi une salle de cinéma , booling, salon de thé, magasins et boutiques.

Ne pas rater l’occasion de passer au restaurant “Le Faïrouz” pour savourer la cuisine tuniso-libanaise et finir par une délicieuse glace “Au Petit Salem” réputée dans toute la Tunisie et même en Europe.

Le café Saf-Saf a toujours fait une grande réputation de La Marsa depuis des décennies avec son puis et son chameau, où on déguste le thé à la menthe, sa restauration délicieuse, michoui en plein air etc. Le journal français Le Monde l’avait qualifié un jour de ” plus beau café du monde “.

Café Saf-Saf année 1970

Résidence de l’ambassade de France (à 120 mètres de ma maison)

Carthage à 5 Km : Vous pouvez visiter les monuments romains, le port punique, et le musée de Carthage.

Sidi-BouSaïd à 2 Km : L’un des plus beaux villages de Tunisie, à l’architecture préservée, au charme incomparable des maisons sur une colline et ses petites ruelles, les souks de Sidi Bou, les Cafés des Nattes et de Sidi Chabaane un endroit exceptionnel d’où on surplombe tout le golfe. Panorama magnifique dont on ne se lasse pas.

La Goulette à 10 Km : Une promenade et dîner pour déguster simplement poissons grillés, briks à l’oeuf, sandwiches et j’en passe. Profiter par la même occasion de visiter la casbah, vieille forteresse hispano-turque ainsi que le port de La Goulette.

Tunis n’est qu’à 18 km de La Marsa, une visite de la Casbah et les souks s’impose. Tunis est la capitale de la Tunisie, s’est développée sur les fondations d’une civilisation ancienne. Dans les multiples restaurants et leurs charmants petits salons, vous pourrez goûter à la cuisine traditionnelle tunisienne et internationale.La longue avenue Habib Bourguiba est une promenade agréable. En y flânant, vous serez envahi par les délicieuses senteurs de magasins de fleurs qui vous mènent aux souks, un véritable paradis pour les amateurs de shopping. A deux pas de là, le centre-ville abrite de nombreux musées et galeries d’art qui combleront les passionnés de culture et d’histoire.

 

Enfin, ne manquez pas de passer par le musée national de Bardo, dans un ancien palais du XIXe siècle, abrite le plus important des musées archéologiques du Maghreb et l’un des plus riches du monde concernant les mosaïques romaines.

This image of the classic yacht Marigold at Les Voiles De St Tropez 2009 has been processed in Adobe Lightroom, giving it high-key look. As you can see I have sucked the blues right out of the image just leaving a little hint in the shadows. Below you can see the before and after images and also find the code for the Lightroom develop preset   I call “Marigold High Key”. Feel free to save and use the preset if you use Adobe Lightroom

Sky

Where the sky falls into the sea. Marigold at Les Voiles De St Tropez 2009

“Marigold High Key.lrtemplate”  preset can be found in the Adobe Lightroom Presets page, follow the instructions to import it into light room.

Added a couple more images to Les Voiles De St Tropez 2009 Gallery

All to weather

Block and Bronze

Ever since studying French hip hop and the lyrics of rap group IAM at uni, I’ve been intrigued by Marseille. So, to get some end of summer sunshine, Steven and I booked a cheap Ryanair flight and headed to the south of France for three nights.

Marseille is like an intruder on the chichi vibe of the Côte d’Azur (its nickname is planète mars) due to being a large port town with North African influences and a laid-back Mediterranean culture. It can be a bit dodgy in places (we almost got pickpocketed in the old port), but it’s ancient history and super friendly people add to its rugged charm.

Being on a pretty tight budget, we decided to spend two nights at the moderately priced Mercure Marseille Prado and stay for the last night in the luxurious Pullman Palm Beach spa hotel.  I’m not usually a fan of big chain hotels, as they always seem to have more properties than they can cope with, but Mercure has been pretty good to me over the years.  This one was comfortable and basic (we got it for £156 for two nights and wouldn’t pay much more) but the main draw was the incredible breakfast, served on the terrace each morning.  The hot selection was dubious, but there was a good selection of mini pastries, fresh baguette, local cheeses and heavenly buttermilk pancakes with maple syrup. 

The location is quite far out from the centre on foot, but it took less than 1o minutes on the metro and it is just 20 minutes down the tree-lined avenue to Prado beach and our next stop, the Pullman Palm Beach.   

The Pullman Palm Beach is a sleek design hotel that overlooks the famous Corniche J.F Kennedy, next to a yachting club, and has an outdoor infinity pool, jacuzzi, sauna and gym.

We were in a double patio room which was decorated in a subtle nautical style and featured prints by a local artist, a massive flatscreen TV and the most incredible bed that felt like you were curled up in a marshmallow. 

The bathroom had both a shower and a bathtub, bois d’orange toiletries by Roger & Gallet, some seriously fluffy bathrobes and velvety slippers – everything you need for a relaxing spa stay.

Most of the guests were business delegates and I was so tempted to gatecrash their champagne and macaroon receptions at night (I resisted, of course), but there are probably more regular travellers in the high summer. This wasn’t a bad thing though, a we almost had the pool and sauna to ourselves.

The hotel is all about relaxation, so it’s very quiet and peaceful, especially in the library on the first floor, where you can read coffee table books and international newspapers in an armchair, overlooking the sea.

We didn’t eat at the restaurant, although the food looked amazing, but we had a drink at the bar before going into town for dinner.  We had a Pina Colada and a Tequila Sunrise (both 12 Euros) from the classic cocktail menu, but maybe a spirit or beer would be better, as they were a bit too weak and filled with ice.  We got a massive tasting plate of olives, nuts and tapenade bruschetta with our drinks though, as well as a sunset view, so it was well worth it.

The best thing about the Pullman is that staff are around when you need them, but they leave you to get on with your own thing without hassle.  The spa facilities were amazing and there was no shortage of towels, sunbeds, extra toiletries and even free healthy snacks in the spa area.  We were even upgraded to an ocean view room on arrival. 

We got a decent deal at £130 a night, as a double room at walk-in price costs upward of £300, but it was one of the best hotels I’ve ever stayed in and was worth every penny.  I’m already plotting a way to return next year – I wonder if Marseille has a film festival to be reviewed?

Mercure Marseille Prado, 11 Avenue de Mazargues  13008 Marseille

Pullman Palm Beach, 200 Corniche J.F Kennedy 13007 Marseille

Uploaded  “A Light Reflection in Time”

in the Les Voiles De St Tropez 2009 Gallery

Pen Duick, at  Les Voiles De St Tropez 2009
The first Pen Duick (also known as Pen Duick I) designed by William Fife III, in 1898 under the name Yum.

Purchased by Guy Tabarly  in 1938, his son, the now famous Eric Tabarly learned to sail on board her. Pen Duicks hull had rotted in the mud flats after the Second World War making it dangerous to sail. Unable to pay for the work, his father tried to sell her. Having no buyer, and having fallen in love with her from the start Eric convinces his father to give Pen Duick to him.

A few years later, when Eric could handle his boat, he was told that the hull of his yacht was rotten. Unable to finance work by a yard, Eric decides to save his boat with his own hands: he uses the old hull as a mold, applying layers of glass fibre and polyester, he builds a new hull. The polyester construction was in its infancy in those days. No one had built yacht, as big and heavy in glass fibre before. It was the largest hull of this type at this time. The boat was restored in the former yard Raymond Labbe in 1983

On his voyage to Ireland, to celebrated Pen Duicks centenary in May 1998 Eric Tabarly was lost overboard during the night of 12 June.

Pen Duick now belongs to Mary and Jacqueline Tabarly who entrusted its maintenance and management to the  Eric Tabarly association. She participates in classic yacht regattas in the Atlantic and gatherings of other Pen Duicks .

Kube Hotel i St. Tropez er et ny klassifisert design hotell. Jeg liker det, über cool! Sjekk ut bildene:

Foto: Design Hotel

Idag har 3-åringen mäklat sin första miljon-transaktion. Tyvärr fick hon ingen cut (hence remains a cost centre).

En fd pojkvän hörde av sig. Han ville ha råd om en potentiell investering.

Investeringen i fråga visade sig vara ett hus i södra Frankrike och han ville höra min syn på a) fastighetsmarknaden b) franska Rivieran samt c) St Tropez.

På a) svarade jag ”ingen aning”; på b) ”ingen uppfattning” och på c) svarade jag ”har aldrig varit där men det låter glamoröst”.

Pojkvännen (den fd alltså) lät sig inte avfärdas så lätt (det gjorde han inte när vi datade heller). Istället skickade han omgående prospektet på investeringen i fråga.

Huset var en dröm: fantastisk utsikt över havet, stor pool, öppen spis i alla sovrum (4). Allt till det facila priset av 2.9 miljoner (euro).

Maken som kan allt om investeringar var inte hemma så jag visade prospektet för bebisen och 3-åringen. Bebisen visade inget intresse men 3-åringen konstaterade att det var en ”cool pool” men ville veta a) hur långt det var till glasskiosken; b) om det fanns någon strand; och c) om man kunde bada i poolen på vintern.

Jag vidarebefordrade dessa tre mycket relevanta frågor till fd pojkvännen och vi fick snabbt tillfredställande svar (5 min/Ja/Ja). Varpå vi rekommenderade investeringen.

Idag fick vi veta att fd pojkvännen slagit till (lyckligt ovetande om att han lassat ut 3 miljoner euro på rekommendation av en 3-åring).

Brigitte Bardot, a living legend, a proclaimed sex symbol, an animal rights activist and an actress, born on September 28, 1934. She is turning a fabulous 75 years young today!

Born in Paris, she came from a background in ballet and started her movie career at the ripe age of 18 and hit it internationally big with the controversial movie “And God Created Woman”.

After a string of failed marriages with rather high profile men, including German millionaire playboy Gunter Sachs, she found love in Bernard d’Ormale, whom Brigitte is still married to.

In 1973, Ms Bardot announced her retirement from the movie and music industry. She decided to use her fame to promote animal welfare. A very noble cause…

As a last farewell to the industry, Brigitte Bardot posed for Playboy in a nude layout in honor of her 40th birthday in 1974. She has beauty, a strong and very sexy aura, a deep passion for others and I truly admire her.

Pamela Anderson, also an animal rights activist, has visited and supported Brigitte’s foundation in Paris. The similarities between the two sex symbols are undeniable.

Another well-known model, Claudia Schiffer, has also been compared to the stunning likeness of Brigitte Bardot. And come to think of it, I think the world is full of Bardot clones.

But as with anything that is copied, the original is always the best, most unique and will never be outdone. Brigitte put St Tropez on the map and currently resides in a village nearby.

Bardot once said: “I gave my beauty and my youth to men. I am going to give my wisdom and experience to animals.” Those words are pretty profound…

Brigitte Bardot is celebrating her birthday in her home today, she wanted a lowkey, no fuss peaceful time with her cats and dogs. Her ailing health has forced her to walk with crutches because of her arthritis.

One of her most compassionate causes is against the slaughter of seals in Canada. She has fought hard over the years and you can help by visiting her site Brigitte Bardot Foundation and see the incredible work she has done.

Ms Bardot, I hope you have a fantastic birthday and that it fulfills all of your wishes and warms your heart. From the bottom of my heart, I salute you. Happy 75th birthday!

Clip de la star du ruskov rap, TIMATI

Son clip : ses vacances à ST Tropez.

Alors on ressasse encore et encore les  mêmes clichés.

La R8, le nikki, le yacht, les tutes, la chemise à col blanc, le magnum de rosé dégueu, la bataille de champ…

L’art de se croire unique alors que là bas quelqu’un le fait tout les jours..

Le “before the crisis” me fait bien marrer en début de vidéo ahaha

Le bad boy tatoué est en réalité le vainqueur de la star academy locale… Un Mat Pokora version russe quoi, c’est déja moins glamour.

De toutes façon, aucun d’entre vous n’aurait écouté ce son si il n’y avait pas le clip à regarder, ce qui en dit long sur la qualité musicale du machin.

Enfin bon….c’est la fête quand même…

Fy fan vad kul vi hade det!!

Note: since I didn’t take pictures of Dr. Bruno or his patients- I thought that might freak them out- I filled this blog with some of my favorite Antibes shots.  All of these pictures except Brigitte are things within a block or so of my place.

I want to go to St. Tropez badly.  That town has just been in the press recently, but most Americans aren’t too familiar with the south of France.  This just isn’t a place that Americans (and when I use the term Americans, I’m talking about people from the U.S.  I’m aware that people from Mexico, Central America, Canada and I guess even South America are all American’s from the America’s) vacation.  I hear a lot of people talking about being in Cancun or one of the Caribbean islands, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone I know talk about vacationing on the French Riviera.  Since I’ve been here I have not seen or heard talking ONE person from the United States.  I hear English, but it’s spoken by Australians and Brits.  And then it sounds funny. 

The reason the town of St. Tropez has been in the news is because that’s where Jon Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8just vacationed with his 16 year-0ld  girlfriend.  Ok, maybe she’s 22, but she is the daughter of Kate’s plastic surgeon who did her tummy tuck in the first season.  And because of that Jon CROSSED THE LINE!!! 

Anyway, that’s the only American I have heard of ever vacationing in the south of France other than the movie stars at the Canne’s film festival and they don’t count.  They’re just there because it’s the cool place to be seen that week. 

But, the reason I want to go to St. Tropez is because every Thursday between 3 and 5:30, Brigitte Bardot hangs on the beach in front of the tourist information office and signs autographs!  Bless her heart… she turns 75 this year!  I can’t wait to see what she looks like and how in the world she holds up in this hot sun.  I’m melting and I’m a quarter century younger than she is.  Her 1956 movie “… And God Created Women” was filmed in St. Tropez and was steamy enough to put the town on the map!  I don’t remember the film but I do remember her being such a sex goddess when I was young.  A true icon.  As true an icon as Elvis Presley, who I did see in concert the year before he died.  (amazing concert!) 

The problem with going to St. Tropez is that besides being on Thursday, which is the clothing market day in Antibes, and I have yet to see, is that it’s going to cost $75 Euros to get there.  With the weak exchange rate, everything is so expensive here and my money is going faster than anticipated.  There are no trains into St. Tropez so it’s either by bus, boat or car.  The bus would take ridiculously long and I don’t have a car.

I wanted to do this badly enough, that I earmarked $100 in my mind for it.  But… I spent it.  I decided to buy peace of mind instead.  Those chest pains that I’d been having since I’ve gotten here were getting worse and I wasn’t feeling too good.  It’s scary to be sick in a foreign country when you’re by yourself, don’t have transportation, don’t speak the language AND have no way to call for emergency help.  I don’t have a cell phone here nor internet in my apartment, so to communicate I have to walk with my computer to within the wi-fi signal of the Lebanese restaurant and then get on-line and use Skype.  I checked the bus and train schedules to Nice, thinking that if I awoke in the middle of the night, knowing I needed emergency help, I would be prepared with what to do.  I was left with walking to the bus or train station, either about a 15-20 min walk and hoping it was when service was running.  Not a real good option.

I found the number of an organization that helps “Anglos”  in the French Riviera find English-speaking emergency care.  That’s the term the organization uses- Anglos.  Now… this is where the interesting things about the French health care system became apparent.  When I called the number a physician answered the phone!  What the???  And he asked me about my problem.  He gave me the number of an English-speaking doctor, Doctor Bruno Lavagne, in Antibes and told me to call the next day at 9 AM.  I called around 10:30 and guess who answered the phone?  Dr. Bruno himself!  He asked me the nature of my problem and then continued to ask about further details.  He asked me to come in at 3:30 the same day!  What service!  I’ve paid nothing, no one knows if I can pay, and I’ve already spoken with two doctors and have an appointment that day. 

I walked myself to his office, about ¾ mile away.  It was an odd entrance. The little room looked like a foyer with a hallway with doors.  What struck me was the lighting.  A receptionist sat at a desk in very soft light.  Barely enough for her to see to read, but all she did while I was there was talk to people so maybe she didn’t need light.  I told her in French that I had an appointment at 3:30.  She asked me to write my name.  “Where?”  She nicely pointed to a little scrap paper- definitely not a sign-in sheet.  She was super friendly in a quiet way and told me that I could wait in the room in front of her (I had no idea that door led to the waiting room) and the doctor would be with me.  I went into the room with five other people, sat down and then wondered what in the world I was doing there.  He wouldn’t be able to diagnose anything in his office.  It would be terribly expensive.  How could I even trust his competence?  The tile floor was beginning to have a cheap look to it…  and how long would I be sitting in this waiting room with these horrible foreign illnesses floating around me?  I walked back to tell her something came up, and I’d have to re-schedule but she seemed so nice.  So instead I asked her how much it would cost.  That would be my deciding factor.  I wasn’t going to pay over $70 Euros ($105).  I would take my chances and just get myself to some emergency room if need be.  She said “33 Euros”.  “Oh”.  So I went back into the sick room and took my seat trying not to breathe.  Actually the only person who looked sick was a little girl with both her mother and father who appeared to have a fever.  But then that made me nervous… the other adults didn’t even look sick, so God knows what ailment they could be hiding.

Then not so long, a thin, pleasant, mild-mannered man wearing casual pants and a stylish Indian-cotton shirt appeared.  Another patient?  He said, “Vickie?”  It was the Doctor Bruno who did not look like his name.  Well, maybe the Lavagne part. 

He showed me the room and from that point on, he never left the room nor did a nurse or the receptionist do anything- not even come in.  It was one-on-one with the doctor.  He did a thorough exam and then pulled out wires with metal half-balls on the end that looked like it could be from a Frankenstein movie.  I had already decided that I WAS NOT going to let him do anything invasive- not even a shot.  I would handle his drawing blood and only if I could see that the needle was a disposable, pre-packaged kind.  He said he was going to do an EKG.  No waiting for someone to roll it out from another room, no waiting for a nurse to have time to get to me.  Nope… voila!  Dr. Bruno did it all!  The EKG wires that attached to my body were metal ½ spheres hooked to a suction ball.  He squeezed the ball and the metal thing attached by suction.  Odd… in fact I have a very funny mark on my chest left by one of the suctions that looks like the EKG machine and I had a hot and heavy date!  But he ran it, pulled the strip, made some marks and said, no, I was definitely not having a heart attack.  And then he gave me the strip of paper to keep. 

We talked for a little while more, mainly my concern over in case of an emergency i.e. waking up knowing I was doomed, what I should do.  I was surprised to learn that the hospital in Antibes is supposedly superb for vascular surgery, and the University hospital in Nice may not be my best choice.  He also told me that the emergency system is different in France compared to the states.  If I would call the ambulance here (#15) a doctor would answer who would access the problem and determine which hospital would be the best one for treating the problem, since the closest hospital may not be the best.  Interesting.  Then a group consisting of a doctor, a nurse and a few other helpers would arrive in the ambulance and stabilize me at home.  And begin treatment.  The goal is not to get you to the hospital as fast as possible, but to do almost everything they can at the original location.  I remember when Princess Di was in the car accident in the tunnel in Paris, the medical team was with her for 5 hours or something.  And as I watched it live on TV the US news reporters kept questioning why they weren’t getting her to the hospital.  They later criticized the French system, saying that they did not diagnose internal bleeding at the time, and had she been in the US, they would have  her medevac-ed to a hospital within the 60 golden minutes before someone dies from shock.   Hmm… wonder if the French team can perform an angioplasty in your home?  Just kidding, I’m sure they would get a patient to the hospital as quickly as possible if that’s what had to be done (wouldn’t they?).   

Then it was time to pay.  Dr. Bruno wrote the bill and told me I could turn it into my insurance company.  The EKG added another… get this… 25 Euros!  If the exchange rate was what it should be, that would mean I had a first time doctor’s visit and an EKG for $58!  And on the day I called!  With the exchange rate it cost $86 US dollars.  He seemed to be waiting.   I asked if I should pay the receptionist.  Oh, no, she had already left.  I was supposed to pay the doctor!  I looked through my purse for three $20 Euros and handed them to him and he reached into the drawer of his little desk and handed me a $2 euro coin for change.  When was the last time you handed money to your doctor?  And he gave you the change?

Walking home I felt much better, but still decided to stop by a cell phone store and purchase my very own, use-in-France cell phone.  That little sucker put me back $39 Euros.  Bummer.  But I knew that in an emergency I would feel so much better being able to call for emergency help from my room rather than trying to walk a block away from my apartment and wait for my computer to get connected. 

So there goes my $100 I had planned on using to see Brigitte Bardot.  Oh well… I had to make a choice between peace of mind, or getting to see in real life if a 75-year-old woman still has the ability to emanate sex appeal.  Hmm… now that I think about it, maybe both could have given me peace of mind.

When it comes to nails nobody knows more than than Master of the Manicure Leighton Denny. With a bio that deserves a film treatment (he started out as a fork-lift truck driver before morphing into Britain’s most respected nail technician) he’s tended the talons of just about everyone who’s anyone. So it’s great to be able to, er, nail him down for this week’s Insider Interview…

GG: So Leighton, what would you say  are men’s biggest grooming mistakes?

LD: Not doing anything! We are very much past the days when men could get away with hardly ever showering and paying little or no attention to their appearance. I think that looking good, and looking like you know what you’re doing is as important for men now, as it is for women. It isn’t about being vain, just a bit more aware of what’s out there and taking pride in how you look.

GG: Why is it important for men to look after their nails?

LD: For the same reason that it is important to look after anything else. Nails can be a huge give away so it’s important to make sure that the basic steps are taken to help day to day maintenance. Practically too, having healthy well kept and sealed nails is an important way to prevent infections, so it is vital that you file nails correctly, and keep them hydrated with a good hand and nail cream, such as Best Defence from my range.

GG: What’s your best tip for men who want great nails?

LD: A good buffer is a great tool to have to hand, as buffing nails every two to three weeks will help to strengthen and shine nails with very little effort, or product. The Leighton Denny Trio Buffer is my personal favourite as this flattens out ridges, smoothes nails and polishes nails to leave a natural shine. I’d also recommend always carrying a hand cream with you. It’s an easy thing to forget, but great to do at intervals throughout the day for wonderfully conditioned hands, nails and cuticles.

GG: Why should men think about manicures?

LD: Most importantly, everyone deserves to be pampered, and a manicure is a great way to relax whilst getting hands into great shape. For many men who aren’t so familiar with DIY nail care, this is also a great way to get to t know what products to use, and how to use them efficiently. It’s a great way to pick up tips, and treat yourself!

GG: What are your favourite fragrances?

LD: I’m a huge fan of Chanel Allure Sport as this is a perfect all rounder and great to wear all day as its fresh and vibrant, without being too heavy. Gucci by Gucci is a classic staple for anyone. It’s such a sexy evening fragrance and is perfect for night out all year round. Terre d’Hermes is my ‘Sunday best’ fragrance and the one I wear when I want to feel really fantastic. Its elegant and clean, but still smells masculine which is really important to me when I choose fragrances.

GG: What’s the one grooming product you couldn’t live without?

LD: For me it has to be fake tan. I’m a huge fan on St Tropez and the products in their range, particularly as I’m very fair skinned and the colour still suits my tone! Especially during the summer, but even during the winter months, I always feel that little bit more confident when I have some colour; and applying it at home means I keep my skin in better condition, and looking younger for longer.

For more info on Leighton go to www.leightondenny.com

Le week-end dernier, l’un de nos meilleurs joueurs de cartes, Eric Woerth, s’est livré à un exercice de poker menteur diabolique.

Dimanche dernier, en annonçant être en possession d’une liste de noms de 3.000 contribuables ayant des comptes bancaires en Suisse et qui seraient soupçonnés d’évasion fiscale, il a renoué avec une tradition bien française : l’art du bluff.

Carlo Lombardini, un avocat d’affaire genevois, s’est dit surpris qu’une liste avec autant de comptes de clients en situation indélicate se trouve en France. “Cela pourrait signifier que nos amis français ont pu avoir recours aux moyens que les Allemands ont utilisé avec le Liechtenstein”, a-t-il même ajouté comme si ça suffisait pas. Un grand bluff quoi. On était sur un registre à la Patrick Sébastien.

Tout fier de ma comparaison, je rentrais à la maison triomphant. C’était une belle occasion de frimer à dire encore un truc intelligent à ma femme. Sauf que contre toute attente, au lieu d’opiner du sous-chef comme elle avait l’habitude de faire en qualité de femme de caractère mais soumise, elle me rétorqua que la pseudo-menace d’Eric Woerth était plutôt l’héritage de la culture toute aussi française du gendarme et du voleur. (ci dessous en moto et sans le voleur)

Je dois admettre qu’elle n’avait pas complètement tort. Cette histoire de fraude fiscale ne faisait que mettre en scène des délinquants à col blanc comme les appelle Noël Mamère, et des gardiens du temple fiscal en la personne des contrôleurs du Trésor Public.

Et je dois bien reconnaitre que j’ai grandi avec ces codes. J’ai passé des heures à courir après les voleurs avant de moi même tenter d’échapper aux gendarmes dans la cour de récréation. J’ai brisé ma belle voix de choriste à hurler “Guignol!” afin qu’il apparaisse sur scène.

Après la secousse UBS, le gouvernement proactif de Sarkozy s’est senti obligé de s’aligner. Toute cette affaire ressemblait pourtant à une vaste blague. Car il est bon de préciser que des arrangements pourront être trouvés avec les contribuables qui décideront de rapatrier leurs fonds. Michel Sapin n’a pas hésité à dénoncer ce qu’il appelle une “amnistie déguisée“.

Tout ce que celà m’inspire, c’est que le voleur, tant qu’il a le pognon, a toujours la liberté de pouvoir se mettre à table avec la justice.

Ce qui nous renvoie presque implicitement aux “Ripoux”.

Le débat commençait à prendre du volume. Ma femme décida de reprendre la main en me disant que de toute façon, cette histoire de liste était finalement trop hollywoodienne à son goût parce que très Spielbergien dans l’esprit. (cf. “la liste de Schindler”)

J’étais personnellement plutôt un amateur des films de Jean Girault, du bon blockbuster à la française. Revenant sur les gendarmes, je lui répondis que tout ça me faisait plus penser à St Tropez. Après tout, début septembre sentait encore bon le mois d’août…

Ma femme qui n’est jamais en reste, me dit alors qu’on parle de gendarmes et de voleurs, non pas de gendarmes et de nudistes. Ce en quoi elle n’avait une nouvelle fois pas tort. Et elle me dit que tant qu’à parler de film de De Funès, elle serait plutôt montée sur un vrai classique du genre type Fantomas.

Ma femme est parfois aussi con que la voisine. Toujours soucieux d’avoir le mot de la fin, je repositionnais la discussion sur un angle plus humoristique pour conclure avec Coluche et son sketch sur la lessive au cours duquel il fut interrompu par quelqu’un dans la salle. Suite à quoi il avait menacé le public, prétendant lui aussi qu’il avait une liste de noms.

Et la voisine elle sait pas qu’y a le nouvel OMO… Elle est con la voisine…