The new Old Dogs movie makes me want to cry. Not because I was expecting the movie to be good. In fact, I know it’s bad because it’s one of those movies that Disney pumps out the importance of family and blah blah. It’s made by the same guy who made Wild Hogs. The storyline is wierd for a family movie (The premise is that the main character learns about kids from a drunken romp– seven years later. There’s a lot wrong with that sentence). John Travolta hasn’t been in anything good lately. I guess Seth Green and Justin Long are there to make a quick buck.

But– Robins Williams? What happened?! Is this his first step in to the comedian graveyard that are family movies?

It may not look like it now, but the man has (or has had) a great career. His breakout role was probably Good Morning, Vietnam. He’s done drama well, see Dead Poet’s Society and The Fisher King. I remember liking Miss Doubtfire and The Birdcage was a decent remake. He’s done suspense/horror with Insomnia and One Hour Photo, which I haven’t seen, but MetaCritic and Rotten Tomatoes have both scored pretty high. Death to Smoochy was a great dark comedy.

Oh, yeah there’s also that animated movie. You know that Disney movie– um, Aladdin. And who was he again? Um, the merchant and–oh yeah– The Genie! This is the role that most people of my generation recognize him for. Unbeknownst to us though, is that his voice acting in the move was basically a mildly watered down version of his stand-up routines. Things that I didn’t get until I got into college.

Robin Williams is defined by his rapid fire delivery, but behind that quasi-gimmick is the wealth of knowledge of culture and pop culture. Sure he’s limited to impressions in the movie, but one just need to see his episode of Inside the Actor’s Studio to see his range when not limited.

Amazing improv. A-may-zing. I’ve done some improv in high school, but this is mastery.

But, he’s getting old. And when you get old, the movie companies don’t give you the good roles as much. So you take what you can get at times, so you can do the movies you want another time. Samuel L. Jackson does this all the time. (Meryl Streep doesn’t really do this, she just in everything all the time because she’s Meryl Streep. Same with George Clooney.) So you do the family movie. They sell, because they’re disposable. They go down as quickly as the snack food you’re eating as you watch them.

But not everyone goes back to the indie-movies or the “I’m gonna try something different.” See Steve Martin and the god-awful Pink Panther movies. Steve Martin’s old Saturday Night LIve stuff was good. Born Standing Up, his autobiography, is actually somewhat insightful. Which is why the movies piss me off, because Steve Martin is more than some random SNL star looking to hit the big screen. I would bring up Bob Saget, but who really cares about him?

But, as I’m writing this I remembered the dark comedy World’s Greatest Dad and maybe there’s still hope. Let’s just hope that one of the quotes from his guest appearance on Whose Lines is it Anyway? doesn’t become too ironic.

“I have a career. What the hell am I doing?”

Yeah, you should have asked yourself when you walked on set for this movie.

Though John Hughes penned both Home Alone and Planes, Trains & Automobiles. I’ll take Steve Martin and John Candy trying to get home for Thanksgiving over Macaulay Culkin stranded home alone anyday. Leaving us to debate what is the best scene. (major spoiler ahead)

Hey Eveyone have a great Thanksgiving day today! Eat well, drink alot of wine, enjoy good times with friends and family but if you get the chance watch the greatest thanksgiving movie of all time: Planes, Trains and Automobiles! Here’s one of my personal favorite scenes as Steve Martin on his epic, yet frustrating trip home to make it back to his family for thanksgiving, is promised a rental car that simply isn’t there. But thats not all, the shuttle that drops him off leaves him stranded miles away from the rental car agency! Watch him blow his top in one of the best John Hughes movies ever…

With so many great Thanksgiving movies to choose from (Hannah and her Sisters; Pieces of April), check out Planes, Trains and Automobiles, a movie I have not thought to watch in previous years. It stars Steve Martin and John Candy, and was directed by John Hughes.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Celebrating once again the cinema of Turkey, the land that copyright infringement laws forgot.

Spend the holiday with friends.

Do you have big plans for the holiday tomorrow? Ours involve a lot of not blogging. We’re going to not blog as hard as we can. But, since traffic here on SBR has grown so much lately we want to re-present the Thanksgiving special we published last year, thereby killing two birds (maybe even turkeys) with one stone.

Yeesh. You can’t really call them “caped crusaders” because they don’t have capes. For that matter, “crusader” may not have the same connotation in Asia Minor. Whatever, the clip is typical of Turkey’s devil-may-care attitude about copyright. YouTube is chock-full of  Turkish riffs on most Western geek culture mainstays, riffs that almost always employ (in a clumsier manner than their American cousins) dizzying amounts of violence, sex, and overwrought soundtracks. Did we mention they’re also really cheap-looking? It bears reiteration. Check out the Turkish Star Trek: 

As the clip shows the Turkish Captain Kirk is much better at walking than most American actors, though the language barrier makes impossible understanding why a peasant hangs out on the bridge and pesters the legitimate crew members.  The bridge set also seems to be in some kind of basement garage, if those metal support posts are any indication.

Still, where there’s Star Trek there has to be its dumber, more exciting cousin Star Wars, right? 1982’s Dunyayi Kurturan Adam (“The Man Who Saves The World”) used bootlegged footage from Star Wars Episode IV as well as stock footage of American and Soviet test rocket flights to tell its weird, garbled saga. The musical score to this clip’s interminable opening credits sounds like public access television music from the 1970s, and it only gets worse from there.

Not content to hit George Lucas up once, Dunyayi Kurturan Adam also pilfers the themes to both Raiders of the Lost Ark and Battlestar Galactica. Eventually achieving cult status by sheer power of  its awfulness, the film spawned a 2006 sequel. In a case of bad art imitating more bad art, just like Lucas’ recent efforts some fans complained the follow-up was a letdown.

Finally, given Marvel Comics’ love for merchandising we’re not entirely sure this next clip is even a bootleg. 3 Dev Adam (“Three Mighty Men”) was a startlingly low-budget, brazenly lurid 1973 abomination depicting an ersatz Captain America’s struggle to stop an evil, pudgy Spider-Man ripoff from running amok through Istanbul. Cap was joined in his efforts, for some reason, by a copy of the legendary Mexican luchadore El Santo. Meanwhile ”Spiderman” and his two girlfriends mostly torture and kill people in depraved ways or have sex in front of puppets. If you’ve never seen a man guinea pigged to death, here’s your chance:

Probably the single most trivial thing you will learn this week: 3 Dev Adam featured Turkish star Aytekin Akkaya, who also appeared in Dunyayi Kurturan Adam.

That’s about all we can stand this week. We’ll be back Monday with our latest edition of Miscellaneous Debris. Have a happy, safe holiday weekend.

- Michael Kabel

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

Guest: Jon Solomon of WPRB.

Topics: Jon Solomon’s Annual 24-Hour Holiday Radio Show, Reunited Bands (Good Ones), Tegan and Sara Love, Albert Brooks & Comedy Minus One, Old Comedy Records, Gallagher Too, Macho Man Randy Savage & Top-notch Wrestling Music, Professional Radio Voices, Remembering Jerry Fuchs, Horrible All Star Tributes.

Playlist: Tegan and Sara, White Rabbits, Kurt Vile, Obits and Maserati

Preview: “Have you ever been in a fight with another radio guy?” and “I like radio… and basketball… and watching Dr. Who.”

Play Now: http://www.usedwigs.com/pod/podcast69.mp3

iTunes: Download, Listen and Subscribe

Related Links:

• WPRB.com
• Keeping Score at Home
• WPRB Membership Drive
• Jon Solomon’s Annual 24-Hour Holiday Radio Show
• Albert Brooks – “Comedy Minus One”
• Monty Python records
• Lenny and the Squigtones
• Gallagher Too
• Allan Sherman
• Lou Jacobi
• El Ten Eleven
• UsedWigs Gift Guide
• NRBQ & Captain Lou Albino Video
• Mean Gene Okerlund
• x Clean Your Room x
• Silkworm
• Mission of Burma
• The Feelies
• Naked Raygun
• City Gardens
• Chunklet
• The Reign Of Kindo
• Malt & Barley Chronicles
• “Do They Know It’s Christmas” Remake
• Caution! This Sucks: “Voices That Care”
• This too: Northern Lights – “Tears Are Not Enough
• And this: Hear ‘n’ Aid – “We’re Stars”

Emmy Award winning writer Ken Levine’s blog is always worth a look. Sunday’s update included an amusing list of what people Google to find his site. One of the key phrases turned out to be: ‘Steve Martin plastic surgery’. Which got me thinking …

Why the f**k would Steve Martin have plastic surgery!?

Not being a regular Heat reader I scurried off to Google and got royally sidetracked.

Check out this eye-popping feature by Julia Sommerfeld on msnbc  ‘Pursuit of youth isn’t always pretty: Reality check on the war on wrinkles: Looking younger or just weirder‘.

Launch the slide show – top right. It’s truly terrifying. I think the before/after photos of Priscilla Presley are the most disturbing. How about you?

The entries are written by Dr. Tony Youn, a Michigan plastic surgeon who runs the Celebrity Cosmetic Surgery blog, which publishes vitally important information on Nicole Kidman’s new puppies, Maria Shriver’s botox brow, and the new BoTax to raise money for Obama’s Health Care reforms.

Jon Lovitz reminds me too much of my father, but I would totally tumble for every single one of the other cast members of the movie ¡Three Amigos! (1986), directed by John Landis.

A great sense of humor is super key for me in a man. It suggests a spirit of fun and spontaneity. If a man can make me laugh, I am ten thousand percent more attracted to him than if he was some societally-standard, good-looking but overly serious twat. Someone who really throws back their head and laughs, who can forget themself in the heat of a conversation and really be lost in enjoyment — that is a great quality in a human being. It puts me at ease and fosters a sense of camarederie.

I used to date this guy when I lived in Southern California that I think thought it was his mission in life to correct me. He would listen to me tell a joke or deliberately exaggerate as part of a humorous bit, then patiently explain to me at length how what I said could never be true, or how I was overstating it. Well, of course it (it being whatever my premise had been) could not really be so, or could never be so to that great of a degree. That’s why it was funny to say it. I will never understand what he saw in me, if he so obviously took issue with what I consider to be my most overriding feature, my general inability to take life seriously for more than ten minutes in a row, but eventually I broke up with him and managed to make it stick (the first couple times were false starts — I have a will made more of feathers than of iron). We just were not compatible. Shock ending, right?

Anyway, if you have lived a full life up until today but somehow missed this movie, don’t panic: you can still buy it on DVD (not Blu-Ray yet), rent it, or even watch clips from it over on the hulu! It features Steve Martin, Chevy Chase, and Martin Short as silent film stars who end up being mistaken for real gunslingers and get involved in a real dispute south of the border between the Mexican village of Santa Poco and a dangerous crime boss named El Guapo. Phil Hartman and Jon Lovitz play the greedy studio bosses back in Hollywood.

Lucky Day: In a way, each of us has an El Guapo to face. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous man who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be *the actual* El Guapo!

Dusty Bottoms: Do you have anything here besides Mexican food?

Rosita: I was thinking later, you could kiss me on the veranda.
Dusty Bottoms: Lips would be fine.

Bartender: We don’t have beer. Just tequila.
Ned Nederlander: What’s tequila?
Bartender: Uh, it’s like beer.

Ned Nederlander: Oooh, tell us we will die like dogs!
El Guapo: You .. you will die like dogs.

Mr. Flugelman: Do you know what “nada” means?
Dusty Bottoms: Isn’t that a light chicken gravy?

Dusty Bottoms: Well I’d like to continue to work for free, Mr. Flugleman!

Lucky Day, Ned Nederlander: [singing] My little Buttercup has the sweetest smile/ Dear little Buttercup, won’t you stay a while?/ We’ll settle down together in a cottage built for two/ Oh, Dear little Buttercup, I love you!
Lucky Day: [motioning for people to join in singing] C’mon, everybody!
Lucky Day, Ned Nederlander: My little Buttercup has the sweetest…
[points to man]
Patron: Es-smile!

The good news is, I don’t have tongue cancer.

I went to the dentist this week and got a hygienist who seems to have two great passions: tongue cancer prevention and Filene’s Basement. She checked me out and shared a few horror stories before making a rather sharp turn into her worries over Filene’s bankruptcy.  It sounds like once upon a time Filene’s was quite the land of amazing bargains– in my day it’s always been the land of acrylic gloves, but I’m no great authority.  Anyway, she told me about a “designer Norwegian blue fox coat” that she got at the Boston Filene’s for $450.  I think this happened sometime in the 1970’s – I bet it was like Julie Christie’s coat in Dr. Zhivago.

Wish they all could be California girls...

Tongue cancer is about the only cancer that I haven’t been sure at one point in time or another that I was dying from – but I’m really glad to be able to add it to my list.  It was hard to work up much indignation for the fading glory of Filene’s while simultaneously being confronted with the prospect of having half of your tongue removed (some people can still talk really well apparently…).

I’ve watched Dr. Zhivago more times than you might think possible – during a blizzard about twelve years ago,  the local PBS station gave up and put it on a loop and I watched it for days.  Between that,  my Russian college roommate (who once yelled out her window to a group of people wearing togas “Why are you wearing a piece of shit?”) and a hysterical (and historically inappropriate) ride around  the square outside the Winter Palace where the Bloody Sunday riot occurred on a homemade bicycle-type contraption with pedals higher than the seat, I’ve  always felt a certain connection to Mother Russia.  I can tell you that no one in Russia has an orange tan like Julie Christie – of all the inexplicable things in that movie her California Girl tan was the most inexplicable.  Anytime the movie is mentioned, the sound track is playing or there is any reference to a balalaika my husband involuntarily yells in a Russian accent  “Can she play?  She’s an artist!” Only other blizzard Zhivago watchers would ever get that,  but it seems like an omission not to mention it.

Anyway, my normal hygienist is Russian and once worked in the city-block-sized Moscow bookstore that sold great communist propaganda posters from giant stacks on library tables as far as the eye could see…  I bought posters there that I hung up in my freshman dorm room – they remain the very best ½ a cent I’ve ever spent.  It’s kind of cosmic that I may have bought them from her.

My dentist is the embodiment of the bright side of shit that sucks, which is lucky because I see her about as often as most people go to Starbucks.   Novocain barely works on me anymore –about every other time I’ll get so much of the stuff that I’m numb from my to forehead to my armpit but can still feel the tooth.  It reminds me of the classic horror movie idea that someone is knocked out for surgery but can feel everything…except that I’m not knocked out.

I’m currently taking massive doses of antibiotics to try and avoid a root canal in a top front tooth.  (You are probably thinking that I eat candy in bed or something but it’s really that I grew up on fluoride-free well water.)  There are about a million reasons you wouldn’t want a root canal in a front tooth – starting with the pain, the prospect of having a so-called “temporary filling” which  is really a small, dirty golf ball right in front and the thousands of dollars my insurance doesn’t cover.  Also my teeth, apparently, have “sneaky roots” so the easiest dental job in the world which seems to just consist of sticking tiny little files into a tooth and cleaning out root-goo, is actually difficult with me.   I go to the Gucci of endodontists (that’s the name for a dentist who only does root canals – think Steve Martin in Little Shop of Horrors) with halogen lighting, hip b&w photos of SoHo, a special fridge with free bottles of water and a nurse who will hold your hand if you want.  The experience is a little like a lawyer who talks really slow – instead of impressing me, the décor just makes me nervous about how much my insurance won’t cover.   My snooty endodontist likes to bad-mouth my dentist, which is kind of an insult to me – they’re my teeth… The last time I was there he gave me a 360 degree $1500 cat scan of my mouth to make sure my sneaky roots, which I imagine to look like the streets of Rome, were properly cleared out.   He also showed me a scan he did on a guy from the building’s parking garage who has really bad teeth – which cheered me up a little.

Anyway, in my efforts to avoid paying for Gucci bag I don’t actually get to have, I’ve been trying to be careful of this tooth.  I’ve had a couple of setbacks.  First, I nailed it when I was changing the pillowcase on the concrete bag my husband seems to like to sleep on.  I’ve also discovered that screaming children seem to wake it up and make it ache.   I’ve been trapped in traffic with a lot of screaming lately and have had to resort to the only thing that ever works if you don’t have two bottles of milk handy – Old MacDonald.  I’m not talking about a quick verse or two – this is continuous singing until your destination is reached or you bleed out from frayed vocal cords.  Luckily my children have no ear for quality when it comes to singing because I am so not -good that an old boyfriend of mine who happened to be a music major once said “please don’t” to me when I was singing along with something in the car.  (Note the “old boyfriend” part – my husband pretends that my singing is good which is one of the many things I like about him.) In my opinion Old MacDonald is the dullest, most tedious kids song ever.

...and an oink oink here...

You can’t even zone out when singing it because it’s so damn short and every two seconds you have to think up a new reasonable farm animal.  Or at least one you can do the sound to – things like snakes, rhinos and iguanas can really hang you up.  And don’t mix up goat  (naaah) with sheep (baaah) if you don’t want to get a lot of complaints.

If you stop singing, the crying starts up worse than ever – it’s the original crying plus a thick layer of betrayal that you are now denying them their song.  To keep myself from slipping into a catatonic state,  I sing it in a lot of different voices – my current favorite is Julie Andrews.  Sometimes I do Julie from Sound of Music – honey-coated, pert young novice voice – but I really like Old Julie Andrews – sort of a syrupy, queenly effete dude voice.

...here an oink, there an oink...

Somehow I connect her with parenting in general – maybe it’s that when you have a kid you really have to scrap around for bedtime songs you know the words to and My Favorite Things is in my limited repertoire.  That and how we used to call my older daughter “Drooly Andrews” when she was teething.

I’ve kind of become a student of crying.  My favorite is what I call the  “Self-Rev” – my five year-old daughter has mastered it.  She’s sobbing miserably along about something, and just as she gets dangerously close to running out of tears, she throws out a sentence or two to work herself up again.  She had a good one yesterday that kicked off when she spilled most of a bottle of cranberry juice down her front.   As she started losing steam she threw out “We’re also going to have to wash my COAT”  followed by “And it’s my FAVORITE coat.”  That really did the trick.  “WaaaaAAHHaaahhhh.”

If I have to get a root canal I might resort to some Self-Rev sobbing…”I don’t want to look like a HILLBILLY”….I would rather go to the BAHAMAS with that money….”

I could buy FIVE NORWEGIAN BLUE FOX COATS AT FILENE’s…waaaaAAAAHHHahhhhhhhaaAAAAAAAHHHHHH.”

Tom Zohar as Einstein, Tim Parker as Picasso.  Photo: Adam Brick
__________________________________________________________________

By Carol Davis

CARLSBAD, California–New Village Arts Theatre in Carlsbad is currently mounting Steve Martin’s (yes THAT Steve Martin of Roxanne, Father of the Bride and The Jerk) 1993 intellectual fantasy Picasso At The Lapin Agile about two earthmovers who meet, discuss and predict the future.Just for starters the characters at the center of Martin’s imaginary world of up and coming Celebs are Pablo Picasso and Albert Einstein who were both in their 20’s when this ‘meeting’ took place.

In this little whim of  (the piece is about 75 minutes long) Martin’s,  he puts them together at a favorite watering hole The Lapin Agile that was known to host artists, writers, the new century avant–guarde as well as  regulars. Picasso would have been 23, Einstein 25. Both were at the peak of making breakthroughs in their careers. Einstein was about ready to publish his Theory of Relativity (1905) that would change the world of physics and Picasso would enter his blue period.

But the romp isn’t about blue periods or relativity theories; it’s about a fictional meeting and conversation the two might have had, had they met. What would they talk about, you ask? How about genius, or contributions to the world, or women, sex, or the future (that’s a big one) or arts and sciences and their contribution to the world?

Played out against the background of Tim Wallace’s peach colored bar with lots and lots of paintings adorning the walls, Ashley Jenks lighting design and Mary Larson’s fitting costumes, the action (or lack there of) in the bar suddenly becomes a beehive of activity when the play opens. There is owner /bartender Freddy (Brian Abraham) and Germaine (Kristianne Kurner) who is both mistress and waitress and way ahead if her time as she predicts that there will be air travel among other things some day.

In an unusual move Freddy steps out of the playing area to take a program from an audience member claiming that Einstein came on to the scent too soon. The characters are listed in order of appearance; he came on third instead of fourth. It took everyone by surprise.

Regulars include Gaston, (Eddie Yaroch) who suffers from a weak bladder problem and is off and running to the bathroom every two minutes (the running joke), Sagot the photographer/art dealer (Sandra Ellis- Troy), the coo-coo inventor Charles Dabernow Schmendiman (Kyle Lucy), Suzanne (Amanda Morrow plays several roles) who claims to be a friend of Einstein’s and of course Picasso (Tim Parker), and the outsider Einstein (Tom Zohar) who has yet to become a somebody. 

When Einstein walks in to the wrong bar looking for a woman he’s supposed to meet, Freddy becomes intrigued with the man. He’s even more fascinated when he gets stumped by a simple arithmetic problem he’s doing and finds that Einstein can solve it along with a series of more intricate ones in seconds in his head. Einstein is so unlike any of the other customers who frequent the place because he’s both unaffected and down to earth, he becomes somewhat of an odd ball in those circles and Freddy continues to be fascinated. It is Einstein rather than Picasso who centers the play.

That said, everyone seems to know Picasso who is already somewhat of a celeb and a self-absorbed womanizer who tries to seduce all the women who come through the door. It’s difficult even comparing the two. He’s a mystery to Einstein who can’t seem to make him out. When the two geniuses finally get a chance discuss their differences with pencil and paper (it’s a formula Picasso demands looking at Einstein’s notes) it turns out they agree more than not.

Using his sharp wit and quick one-two punch, Martin takes the opportunity here to conclude that the contributions each give to the world of art and science do go hand in hand and cannot exist without each other. Arts and science are after all not that much different in the final analysis as they shape the world in which we live.

And with one broad brush stroke in predicting the future, Martin brings another character in the form of an Elvis (Greg Wittman) look a like (I even bumped into one the other day at Kaiser Permanente Hospital in San Diego) in an effort to predict that perhaps some day a Las Vegas skyline may loom on the horizon along with his other predictions like air travel, clothes made of wax, the banning of smoking in restaurants, a ‘modernized Hiroshima’ and possibly a venue for stand up comedians.  Why not?

Tom Zohar shares a resemblance to Einstein when he first walks into the bar neatly groomed but shortly thereafter ruffles his hair to look even more  like the mad (but younger version) scientist we see pictures of in books. Zohar a talented actor in every show doesn’t disappoint as Einstein in this production. Amanda Morrow is perfect as all three women, different yet alike, Eddie Yaroch is fun as Gaston disappearing into then bathroom to relieve his kidneys and returning with a sense of relief. Brian Abraham and Kristianne Kurner play well off each other and Tim Parker plays the lover boy Picasso with an unconvincing eye but ever the flirt. Sandra Ellis-Troy is always bigger than life and Kyle Lucy is great as the over the top mad Schmendiman. All this is done under the watchful eye of director Dana Case.

New Village Arts makes the piece more enjoyable and fun than others seen by this reviewer in past productions. It plays through Dec. 9.

 For more information visit www.newvillagearts.org

See you at the theatre.

*
Carol Davis is a San Diego based theatre reviewer.  She may be reached at davisc@sandiegojewishworld.com

Last night I saw Steve Martin’s play, Picasso at the Lapin Agile. It was my first time at a play in years, my first time ever seeing my cousin-in-law act, and a play I’ve specifically wanted to see for ages. And, given my schedule, who knows how long it would be until the next play. So I had a lot riding on that play.

And they did not let me down. I had the best seat in the house (or darn close), and they had me from when I entered the theater. The bar set was spectacularly done: it felt like a place I might go one night for a drink between bouts with the Riemann Hypothesis, and the old-timey music was transporting.

In case you don’t know the play, it’s Steve Martin at the apex of his powers. Filled with comedy of every sort, time travel, and so many fourth wall breaks that it will take a dozen metaphorical carpenters to put that place back together after the show closes on Sunday, and a e-shaped pie, it’s pure entertainment. But the play also deals with very serious themes: the nature of progress, whether it is possible for one man to change history and what that even means, special relativity, the relationships between men and women, the creative process, our attitude toward the future. To see those issues played out at the turn of the LAST century only reinforces their timelessness.

As with any play, a performance can be only as good as its cast, and the cast here was top-notch. Strong performances all, no weak links.

Mouse, my cousin-in-law (without whom I might never have known this play was even happening), was marvelous as Germaine — proud to have married into your family, cuz. Who knew you had such a French accent in you?

I don’t know how old the actor who plays Gaston is in life, but he captures so totally the man’s status on the cusp of old age, so thematically important to the work.

Really, every performance was solid, but special mention should be made of the main protagonists Einstein and Picasso. They skillfully evoked our modern notions of the people without ever being caricatures, and without ever losing sight of the crucial point that these people were still young, proto-Einstein and proto-Picasso, marked not by wporld-changing achievement but by the potential for it.

Actually, the actor playing Einstein reminded me often of Gordon Kaye, a British actor best known for the WWII screwball sitcom ‘Allo ‘Allo. Which means it’s time to get those DVDs from the library and watch ‘em again.

Seeing a play like this energizes me, makes me want to sit down, put pen to paper, because sooner or later someone’s going to crack the Riemann Hypothesis. And who knows, it MIGHT be today, and it MIGHT be me.

Ta-ra-ra-BOOM-de-yay!

In other non-kid, non-Todd news (what? I do have a life?), I had the pleasure of seeing two really cool shows within the last couple of weeks. In fact, so cool that I would classify both as once-in-a-lifetime kind of opportunities to see my personal icons!

First up: Steve Martin. He is on tour promoting his banjo album, and I was beside myself to see him with the Steep Canyon Rangers at the OC Performing Arts Center. I don’t think I stopped elbowing Todd the entire time. (“Hey, that’s Steve Martin! That’s really Steve Martin! I’M seeing Steve Martin!”)

This week was John Cleese. Despite being a vegetarian (and thus, inherently untrustworthy ), I felt much the same as I did at Steve Martin’s show. John Cleese, however, did the show that I wish Steve Martin had. It was a hodgepodge of funny anecdotes, film clips, and interaction with the audience. Apparently, he’s quite fond of blonde American girls, and I nearly asked him to dinner in spite of the husband and children sitting at home. (Well, the children were home. Husband was at work. Thanks for watching the girls, Uncle Mackey!)

From Foul Play to Christmas Vacation, from The Jerk to Bowfinger, who really has the funnier movies?

It’s the comedy showdown!!! They will battle against each other. What will the winner get you ask? Well, nothing, but we will know who has the funnier movies. I handpicked ten of their greatest movies and gave each of the movies a rating. Then I added up the results. It was a tight one, but take a look who won this battle. Will he be crowned the king of comedies? We’ll see…

LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!!!

CHEVY CHASE

Foul Play (1978) 3/5 points

Caddyshack (1980) 2/5 points

Fletch (1985) 5/5 points

National Lampoon’s Vacation (1983) 5/5 points

European Vacation (1985) 4/5 points

Spies Like Us (1985) 5/5 points

¡Three Amigos! (1986) 3/5 points

Funny Farm (1988) 5/5 points

Fletch Lives (1989) 5/5 points

Christmas Vacation (1989) 5/5 points

STEVE MARTIN

The Jerk (1979) 3/5 points

Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid (1982) 4/5 points

Roxanne (1987) 4/5 points

Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987) 5/5 points

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988) 3/5 points

L.A. Story (1991) 5/5 points

Father of the Bride (1991) 4/5 points

HouseSitter (1992) 4/5 points

Mixed Nuts (1994) 4/5 points

Bowfinger (1999) 5/5 points

…AND THE WINNER IS: CHEVY CHASE (with a score of 42-41)

Now, where was I?

Oh yeah, now I remember. I was about to tell you that I was going on hiatus for two weeks, and then I did That Thing We All Do But Swear We Won’t Ever Do Again,

I forgot to press SEND.

(sigh)

Actually, more often than not, The Thing I Do That I Wish I Didn’t Do is press SEND too soon, before I’ve finished typing whatever breathtaking prose I’m trying on at the time.

So — unless I press SEND too soon, or forget to press it at all — I’m back.

Did’ja miss me?

* * *

OUR TOWN: Filmmakers Michael Palmieri and Donal Mosher are set to attend tonight’s Doc Soup screenings of their family saga October Country

JONES: here next month

tonight at the Bloor Cinema … the Toronto premiere of Displacement, the multi-media dance art piece created by choreographer Robert Glumbek, visual artist Vessna Perunovich and composer Christos Hatzis, opens tonight at Fleck Dance Theatre as part of Harbourfront Centre’s NextSteps Dance Series. The show, performed by seven dancers, also features the Penderecki String Quartet … Whodunit 2009, this year much-anticipated annual Ontario College Of Art & Design fund-raiser, previews today, tomorrow and Friday before the Mystery Art by the famous and soon-to-be-famous goes on

RADCLIFFE: Greenwich Village

sale Saturday. For more info, collectors, just click here …. p.s. to Radio City Music Hall aficionados: this is the last night to see the justifiably legendary Rockettes kick up their heels at the Air Canada Centre … and the CHUM Christmas Wish, this year in partnership with CP24, yesterday launched its 43rd Christmas season for raising money and collecting toys for families in need across the Greater Toronto Area.

NO PEOPLE LIKE SHOW PEOPLE: Did you know that Daniel Radcliffe (aka Harry Potter) was personally tutored by the Coutts Bank when he turned 18 and learned how to best invest his earnings, currently estimated at $15-20 million? Me neither. But that could explain how the young Mr. R. acquired his new $6 million Greenwich Village townhouse, which will be his home base when

APATOW: on line today

he returns to Broadway to fill the Robert Morse/Matthew Broderick song-and-dance shoes in How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying … riding high on the love-letter reviews for her new album The Fall, Norah Jones is set to guest on The Colbert Report tonight. Expect to hear and see her next month with Jian on Q and Strombo on The Hour … artist Natalka Husar opens her new show, Burden Of Innocence, tomorrow in Hamilton. Advance word on Husar’s new exhibition hints at taking her lifelong obsession with painting and with the Ukraine, her ancestral home, into new territory. For more details, click here … and new comedy zillionaire Judd Apatow is taking questions today at the Funny Or Die writers’ room at 12:30 pm pst (3:30 pm our time.) To quiz him, or to just submit your question, click here.

HOSTS WITH THE MOST:  It’s official — Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin are Oscar’s newest Odd Couple. They are now set to co-host next year’s Academy

KARPLUK & MERCER: Gemini twins (photo: CP)

Awards telecast on Sunday March 7 … meanwhile, Office creator Ricky Gervais has been tagged to host the Golden Globes on Sunday Jan. 17 … and yes, I agree, Ron James did a dandy job of hosting last Saturday night’s Gemini Awards. Among the happiest winners: Rick Mercer, not just because his weekly Rick Mercer Report won Best Comedy Series, but also because he got to hang out with people he watches on TV, like Erin (Being Erica) Karpluk and Cory (Glee) Monteith — who, according to my spies, were even more excited to be hanging out with him.

Ain’t show biz grand?

TOMORROW:

Star-crossed reunion: Patti Lupone & Mandy Patinkin.

Martin Marcantonio Luciano Scorsese (born November 17, 1942) is an American film director, screenwriter, producer, actor, and film historian. He is the founder of the World Cinema Foundation, a recipient of the AFI Life Achievement Award for his contributions to the cinema and has won awards from the Oscars, Golden Globe, BAFTA, and Directors Guild of America. Scorsese is president of the Film Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to film preservation and the prevention of the decaying of motion picture film stock.

Scorsese’s body of work addresses such themes as Italian American identity, Roman Catholic concepts of guilt and redemption, machismo, and violence. Scorsese is widely considered to be one of the most significant and influential American filmmakers of his era, directing landmark films such as Taxi Driver, Raging Bull and Goodfellas; all of which he collaborated on with actor Robert De Niro. He won the Academy Award for Best Director for The Departed and earned an MFA in film directing from the New York University Tisch School of the Arts.

Trivia:

Listed as one of 50 people barred from entering Tibet. Disney clashed with Chinese officials over the film Kundun (1997), which Scorsese directed. [19 December 1996]

Awarded third annual John Huston Award for Artists Rights by the Artists Rights Foundation. [1995]

Presented with a special tribute at the 1976 Telluride Film Festival. It was presented by Michael Powell. [1976]

He is a longtime friend and was once a housemate of The Band’s Robbie Robertson. He directed The Last Waltz (1978), the documentary of their supposedly last gig which Robertson produced. Robertson later produced the soundtrack for Scorsese’s The Color of Money (1986).

Good friends with editor Thelma Schoonmaker & cinematographer Michael Ballhaus. Scorsese introduced Thelma to her husband Michael Powell and he often quotes Powell as an influence.

His name is pronounced “Scor-sez-see”.

He directed Michael Jackson’s Bad (1987) (V) music video. The full length video runs 16 minutes and is in both black & white and color. It is usually shortened down to just the color segment for television.

He appears as attached to his pet white Bichon Frise Zoe as he was to his beloved parents – except Zoe is right beside Marty every day in the office.

Daughter Francesca Scorsese born. [16 November 1999]

John Woo dedicated his action film Dip huet seung hung (1989) (“The Killer”) to Scorsese on a commentary he did for the movie’s DVD.

Daughter Domenica Cameron-Scorsese with Julia Cameron.

Taught both Oliver Stone and Spike Lee at NYU.

Was at one point going to make a movie about the life of comedian Richard Pryor.

He was an altar boy at Old St. Patrick’s Cathedral, which was used in his early films I Call First (1967) and Mean Streets (1973). Old St. Patrick’s is also where the baptism scene in The Godfather (1972) took place.

Was at one point slated to direct Clockers (1995), but for reasons that are not entirely clear, handed the directing chores to his onetime NYU student Spike Lee, while staying on as producer. He was also at one point going to direct Little Shop of Horrors (1986) for David Geffen, with Steven Spielberg as the executive producer. He was ultimately uninvolved, but claims that he wanted to shoot the movie in 3-D. It no doubt would have been a loving homage to Roger Corman, for whom he directed Boxcar Bertha (1972).

He took a cameo in his film Taxi Driver (1976) (as a man about to kill his wife) only because the actor who was supposed to play the role was sick on the day the scene was to be shot. Says he is generally uncomfortable in front of the camera.

Has a dog named Silas.

Is the subject of the song “Martin Scorsese” by alternative band King Missile.

Father of actress Cathy Scorsese from his first marriage.

Is of Italian-Sicilian descent.

Has asthma.

Of the three films he’s been trying to make since the mid-1970s, he has done two: The Last Temptation of Christ (1988) and Gangs of New York (2002). The third film, a biopic of Dean Martin called “Dino”, has been on hiatus at Warner Brothers since the late 1990s. Scorsese has a very specific all A-list cast in mind, probably why it has yet to be produced. He wants Tom Hanks to star as Martin, Jim Carrey to play Jerry Lewis, John Travolta to play Frank Sinatra, Hugh Grant to play Peter Lawford, and Adam Sandler to play Joey Bishop.

Was voted the 4th greatest director of all time by Entertainment Weekly, making him the only living person in the top 5 and the only working film director in the top 10 (Ingmar Bergman being retired as a filmmaker).

Appeared on “Curb Your Enthusiasm” (2000) as a shrill version of himself who comes to regret his decision to cast Larry David as a violent gangster in a movie after David repeatedly ruins the suit he needs to wear as the character.

Several characters in his films refer to the legendary (noir) actor John Garfield, star of the original The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946), which is also mentioned.

He was one of three major directors to have been offered the opportunity to direct Schindler’s List (1993) by producer Steven Spielberg, the other two being Roman Polanski and Billy Wilder. Scorsese thought a Jewish filmmaker should direct it; Polanski wasn’t yet ready to deal with the painful subject (having lost his mother in the Holocaust); and Wilder (who was retired and who lost his mother and grandmother in the Holocaust) finally told Spielberg that he should do it himself.

Because so many of his actors win or are nominated for awards, actors are dying to work with him. The film With Friends Like These… (1998) pokes fun at this very real desire.

Both The Last Temptation of Christ (1988) and Gangs of New York (2002) were personal passions of his that he had wanted to make since the 1970s. When he first starting considering them, Robert De Niro was in his mind to play the lead characters in both (Jesus Christ in “Temptation” and Bill Cutting in “Gangs”). De Niro ultimately turned down the part in “Temptation” and it was decided he was too old to play Cutting by the time that “Gangs” finally went into production.

He has famously collaborated with Robert De Niro in 8 films. Scorsese has said that his creative collaboration with De Niro is very deep and that they can often understand each other without even talking. Their collaboration has had many dry spells (including recently), but Scorsese says he shows almost every script he writes or considers directing to De Niro to see what the actor’s thoughts on them are even when De Niro ultimately has no involvement the film.

Appeared in an “American Express” ad where he goes to pick up photos of his nephew’s birthday party at a drug store, and then proceeds to nervously pick through what’s wrong with each picture while trying to get the clueless photo-lab clerk’s opinion on them. He proceeds to buy more film with an American Express card and calls the people on the pictures saying they need to reshoot. Scorsese says this funny ad is probably the closest he’s come to accurately “playing” himself.

Apart from his legendary work as a filmmaker, he has been a vocal supporter of film preservation for almost three decades. His efforts to create a strong public awareness for the work of film archives include The Film Foundation, a non-profit organisation which he started together with other filmmakers. The Film Foundation regularly partners with the American film archives on the restoration of “lost” or endangered films. With this background he has agreed to serve as Honorary President of the Austrian Film Museum in Vienna.

Personally spurns the notion of the “director’s cut” feeling that once a film has been completed, it should not be further altered in any way.

He lost three best director – and best picture – Oscars to leading-man actors turned directors: Robert Redford, Kevin Costner, and Clint Eastwood (Raging Bull (1980) lost to Redford’s Ordinary People (1980); Goodfellas (1990) to Costner’s Dances with Wolves (1990); The Aviator (2004) to Eastwood’s Million Dollar Baby (2004)). On the only two occasions when he was Oscar-nominated as Best Director in years ending in zero, he was beaten by actors making their directorial debuts (Redford and Costner).

In 1975, he accepted the Oscar for “Best Actress in a Leading Role” on behalf of Ellen Burstyn, who wasn’t present at the awards ceremony. She won for her performance in Scorsese’s Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore (1974)

President of jury at the Cannes Film Festival in 1998.

Has mentioned that he thought Robert De Niro’s best performance under his direction was as Rupert Pupkin in The King of Comedy (1982).

Ranked #3 in Empire (UK) magazine’s “The Greatest directors ever!” [2005]

His favorite films include: Citizen Kane (1941), The Red Shoes (1948) and Il gattopardo (1963) (“The Leopard”).

Was friend, protégé, and employee of actor-director John Cassavetes.

When asked where audiences would find the next Martin Scorsese, he said to look to Wes Anderson, the young director of Rushmore (1998).

Has directed, as of 2008, 6 biopics: Raging Bull (1980), The Last Temptation of Christ (1988), Goodfellas (1990), Casino (1995), Kundun (1997) and The Aviator (2004).

He received a Degree ad honorem in “Cinema, TV and Multimedia Production” from the University of Bologna on 26 November 2005.

Served as mentor to Georgia Lee and invited her to apprentice for Gangs of New York (2002) in Europe.

The 1912 American Mutoscope & Biograph Company short The Musketeers of Pig Alley (1912) heavily influenced Scorsese in the making of his own gangster films Goodfellas (1990), and Gangs of New York (2002). The film was picked by Scorcese for his 2005 tribute at Beaubourg, centre d’art et de culture Georges Pompidou (1977) in Paris, France. Biograph is the oldest movie company in America and in existence today, headed by producer/director Thomas R. Bond II.

Scorsese and Taxi Driver (1976) are, among others, named as inspiration for the Massive Attack debut “Blue Lines”.

He signed a four-year, first-look deal to develop projects with studio executives of Paramount. [November 2006]

The Departed (2006) is the highest-grossing movie of his 40-year career ($132,373,442 (USA)).

The Aviator (2004) was his first movie to gross over $100 million in the U.S.

He has worked with big names of music business: Elvis Presley, Bob Dylan, Jimi Hendrix, The Rolling Stones, ‘Michael Jackson (I)’ and David Bowie.

Directed 17 different actors in Oscar nominated performances: Jodie Foster, Robert De Niro, Joe Pesci, Leonardo DiCaprio, Daniel Day-Lewis , Cate Blanchett, Winona Ryder, Ellen Burstyn, Sharon Stone, Diane Ladd,Cathy Moriarty, Juliette Lewis, Lorraine Bracco, Paul Newman, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Alan Alda and Mark Wahlberg. (Burstyn, De Niro, Newman, Pesci and Blanchett won Oscars for their roles in one of Scorsese’s movies).

When he won his Best Director Oscar for The Departed (2006), he received the award from legendary directors, George Lucas, Francis Ford Coppola, and Steven Spielberg. The four were part of the “New Hollywood” movement of the 1970s and combined have 9 Academy Awards and 38 Nominations.

As a teenager in the Bronx, Scorsese frequently rented Michael Powell’s The Tales of Hoffmann (1951) from a store that only had one copy of the reels. When it wasn’t available the owner told him, “that Romero kid has it,” referring to George A. Romero who was also a big fan of the film. Today, both directors cite the film as a major influence.

Says he was happy with the fact that it took so long for him to win Best Director, because if he had won it earlier, it would have affected his directing and films.

Recipient of the 2007 Kennedy Center Honors. Other recipients that year were Leon Fleisher, Steve Martin, Diana Ross, and Brian Wilson.

Says the only thing he regrets in his career is that he was only able to make The Last Temptation of Christ (1988) on a small budget although he imagined it to be a grand version.

Was originally going to direct The Honeymoon Killers (1969), but was replaced after a week of shooting.

Served as a guest critic on “Siskel & Ebert & the Movies” (1986) following the death of ‘Gene Siskel’. The episode was “The Best Films of the 90s” in which Roger Ebert cited Scorsese’s Goodfellas (1990) as one of the best films of the 90s (#3). Scorsese’s full list of his favorite films of the 1990s: 10.) Tie: Malcolm X (1992) and Heat (1995), 9.) Fargo (1996), 8.) Crash (1996), 7.) Bottle Rocket (1994), 6.) Breaking the Waves (1996), 5.) Bad Lieutenant (1992), 4.) Eyes Wide Shut (1999), 3.) Duo sang (1994) (“A Borrowed Life”), 2.) The Thin Red Line (1998), 1.) Dao ma zei (1986) (“Horse Thief”).

He was made a Fellow of the British Film Institute in recognition of his outstanding contribution to film culture.

Resides in New York City. His production offices are located on W. 57th Street in Manhattan.

Attended Cardinal Hayes high school in the Bronx as a young man. Fellow alumni included George Carlin, George Dzundza, Regis Philbin and Jamal Mashburn.

Is a fan of the British Hammer Films series.

A huge fan of Fawlty Towers (1975). He describes the episode “The Germans” as “so tasteless, its hilarious.”.

In the 5th edition of 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die (edited by Steven Jay Schneider), 7 of Scorsese’s films are listed: Mean Streets (1973), Taxi Driver (1976), Raging Bull (1980), The King of Comedy (1982), Goodfellas (1990), Casino (1995) and The Departed (2006).

Haig Manoogian was Scorsese’s mentor at NYU. He eventually produced Scorsese’s first film (I Call First (1967)) and when he died in 1980, Scorsese dedicated Raging Bull (1980) to Manoogian.

Roger Ebert is a great admirer of Scorsese’s work. 14 of Scorsese’s films were given four stars by Ebert (Mean Streets (1973), Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore (1974), Taxi Driver (1976), Raging Bull (1980), After Hours (1985), The Last Temptation of Christ (1988), Goodfellas (1990), The Age of Innocence (1993), Casino (1995), Kundun (1997), Bringing Out the Dead (1999), The Aviator (2004), The Departed (2006), Shine a Light (2008)), seven of his films are in Ebert’s Great Movies list (“Mean Streets”, “Taxi Driver”, “Raging Bull”, “After Hours”, “The Last Temptation Of Christ”, “Goodfellas”, and “The Age of Innocence”), and Ebert has written an entire book of his reviews, interviews and essays on Scorsese’s work simply titled “Scorsese By Ebert”.

As of November 10th 2009, five of his films are on the IMDb’s Top 250 Films list: Goodfellas (1990), Taxi Driver (1976), Raging Bull (1980), The Departed (2006), and Casino (1995).

Amazon Specials!

Steve Martin (Born 1945 in Waco, TX) is a Emmy Award and Golden Globe Award nominated, and Grammy Award winning American Actor, Producer, Director, Writer, Musician, and Comedian. He started as one of the most successful stand-up comedians of the 1970’s and released a string of very popular comedy albums. He won Grammy Awards for Best Comedy Album in both 1977 and 1978. A song, “King Tut”, off of one of the albums reached #18 on the Billboard Top-40 Music Charts in 1978. He was a frequent guest on ‘The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson” and later was a frequent guest-host on “Saturday Night Live”. He has appeared on “SNL” a record 25 times as a host or guest star over the course of his career. His “SNL” created skits with Dan Aykroyd as “The Festrunk Bothers” (“We are….2 Wild… and Crazy Guys!!”) has remained as one the best loved series of skits in the shows history. Since the late 1970’s he has gone on to a highly successful movie career and has appeared in films such as “The Jerk”, “The Lonely Guy”, “The Man with Two Brains”, “The Three Amigos!”, “Father of the Bride”, “ParentHood”, “LA Story”, “Shopgirl”, “Baby Mama”, “The Pink Panther”, “Father of the Bride: Part 2″, “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles”, “Roxanne”, “Cheaper by the Dozen”, “The Out of Towners”, “Cheaper by the Dozen 2″, “The Pink Panther 2″, “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels”, “House Sitter”, “Leap of Faith”, “Bowfinger”, “Grand Canyon”, “My Blue Heaven”, “Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid”, “Little Shop of Horrors”, “Sgt. Bilko”, and many others. He has been nominated over his career for 5 Emmy Awards and 5 Golden Globe Awards. He is an accomplished Banjo player and composer and won a Grammy Award for Best Country Instrumental making him a rare Grammy Winner for both Comedy and Music. Has hosted the Academy Awards twice and is slated to co-host the 2010 Academy Awards with Alec Baldwin.

Autograph #248 in Collection.

What is in my mind the finest month for the movies is almost here!  Let Marshall guide you through the best and steer you away from the worst, but most of all enjoy!  The studios have been holding back their best movies all year to dump them all here, where they can get serious awards consideration.

December 4

A major Oscars wild-card is “Brothers.”  No one really knows what to make of it.  If the movie hits big, it could completely change the game.  But it could just fly under the radar like most expect it to now.  However, the trailer makes it look as if it the movie could be absolutely mind-blowing.  Directed by Jim Sheridan, who has received six Academy Award nominations, “Brothers” follows Grace Cahill (Natalie Portman) as she and her daughters deal with the loss of her husband, Sam (Tobey Maguire), in war.  Sam’s brother, Tommy (Jake Gyllenhaal) comes to live with Grace to lend a helping hand.  But romantic sparks fly between the two at precisely the wrong time: the discovery that Sam is alive and coming home.  With the two brothers both tugging Grace’s heart for their share, a different type of sparks fly.

You have heard me say plenty about “Up in the Air.”  If you haven’t read my Oscar Moment on the movie or heard my bliss at the release of the trailer, let me give you one more chance to hope on the bandwagon.

But the movies don’t stop there.  ”Armored,” an action-drama that is tooting its own moral horn, starring Matt Dillon and Laurence Fishburne.  ”Everybody’s Fine” appears to be a holiday movie, so that might be worth checking out if your in the spirit.  The movie, a remake of a 1990 Italian film by the same name, stars Robert DeNiro as a widower who reconnects with his estrange children.  And “Transylmania” looks to cash in on the vampire craze sweeping the nation by satirizing it, but I doubt it will be financially viable because it is being released by a no-name studio and without any big names.

December 11

The highlight of the weekend for many will be “The Princess and the Frog,” Disney’s return to the traditional animation by hand musical.  The movie looks to capitalize on what we know and love Disney musicals for, adding some catchy tunes to a fairy tale we have known since childhood.  Anika Noni Rose, best known for her role as Lorrell in the film adaptation of “Dreamgirls,” lends her talented voice to the princess Tiana.  As a huge fan of “Dreamgirls” during the winter of 2006, I couldn’t think of someone better equipped to handle the sweet, soft Disney music (which isn’t designed for belters like Beyoncé or Jennifer Hudson).  That being said, the music won’t sound like anything you’ve ever heard from a Disney fairy tale.  It is being scored by Randy Newman, not Alan Menken (“Beauty and the Beast,” etc.), and will have a jazzy feel much like its setting, New Orleans.

This week also boasts the opening of three major Oscar players. Two have been featured in Oscar Moments, “Invictus” and “A Single Man.” The former opens nationwide this Friday, the latter only in limited release. I’ll repost the trailers below because they are worth watching. But read the Oscar Moment if you want to know more about the movies.

According to the people that matter, “The Lovely Bones” has all the pieces to make a great movie. But for summer reading two years ago, I read the source material, Alice Sebold’s acclaimed novel. I found it dreadfully melodramatic and very depressing without any sort of emotional payoff to reward the reader for making it through. But maybe Hollywood will mess up the novel in a good way. If any movie could, it would be this one. With a director like Peter Jackson and a cast including Saiorse Ronan (“Atonement”), Mark Wahlberg, Rachel Weisz, Stanley Tucci, and Susan Sarandon, it could very well happen.  It opens in limited release on this date and slowly expands until its nationwide release on Martin Luther King Day weekend in 2010.

December 16

Due to the flop of “Amelia,” Fox Searchlight has moved “Crazy Heart” to 2009 in order to milk some awards out of this year (although they should have just pushed “(500) Days of Summer” harder!).  The movie stars Jeff Bridges as an aging alcoholic country singer and Maggie Gyllenhaal as the young journalist that falls for him.  Bridges has been nominated for four Oscars but has never won, so maybe the Academy will feel generous to him this year.

December 18

We will skip the big blockbuster to address what is perhaps my most anticipated movie of the season, “Nine.”  I’ve already devoted an Oscar Moment to it, but it deserves some more talk here.  I’ll just throw out some names.  Daniel Day-Lewis.  Marion Cotillard.  Penelope Cruz.  Nicole Kidman.  Judi Dench.  Sophia Loren.  Kate Hudson.  Fergie.  Director Rob Marshall.  At what name did you start thinking, “Get here now, December 18th, I HAVE TO SEE THIS MOVIE!”?

Most sites I read think “Avatar” is going to be a huge box office success.  However, I wonder how they can think that when I have not heard a single teenager talk about the movie at all.  That is a critical demographic to the success of this movie.  It is what made “Titanic” the highest grossing movie ever (unadjusted for inflation).  And without them, this movie will flop.  A bomb is something that director James Cameron and the head honchos at 20th Century Fox simply cannot have happen.  Let me hit you with a statistic that will make your jaw drop.  ”Avatar” cost nearly $500 million dollars to make.  No, I didn’t tack on an extra zero to that figure.  Half-a-billion dollars have been dropped on this movie, so they need to make a whole lot of money to make it a profitable venture.  I’m sure with worldwide totals and video receipts, they will undoubtedly break even.  But if it is going to be a bonanza, there has to be more to “Avatar” than the coolest visual effects ever.  And I’m not getting the feeling from the trailers that it has all that strong of a story.  But at this point, no one knows.

Guilty confession: I’m actually kind of looking forward to “Did You Hear About the Morgans?” The movie stars Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker as married members of the New York elite who loathe each other. However, they are forced to spend a whole lot of time together when they see a murder and enter the Witness Protection Program in Wyoming. Sometimes these “fish out of water” comedies turn out to be quite funny. Plus, Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker usually have good taste when it comes to selecting movies.

And to help out a fledgling production company, Apparition, I’ll plug “The Young Victoria” with an embedded trailer.  If Martin Scorsese is pushing it, how bad can it be?

December 23

In order to get “Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel” out of a convoluted Christmas Day openers crowd, they moved it to Wednesday, December 23.  Honestly, who wants to debate if this movie will be good or not?  I wouldn’t be surprised if it makes more money than “Avatar” the way kids ate up the first installment.

December 25

Celebrate Christmas at the movies with your family like everyone else in America!  ”Nine” and “Up in the Air” will be opening nationwide today.

Nancy Meyers, the director of “The Holiday” and “The Parent Trap,” makes movies that are just plain enjoyable to watch.  ”It’s Complicated” doesn’t look to break that tradition.  I refuse to watch the trailer because I don’t want to ruin it, but the film’s poster shows Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin bearing smug expressions in a bed with the tagline “Divorced…with benefits” written on the sheets.  Featuring a cast that also includes Steve Martin and John Krasinski (“The Office”), this could be the perfect crowd-pleasing Christmas Day movie.

Also opening on Christmas Day is a reimagined “Sherlock Holmes,” directed by Guy Ritchie (yes, Maddona’s ex-husband).  I’m all for the fresh approach, especially because it includes Robert Downey, Jr.  I loved the smug touch he added to Tony Stark in “Iron Man,” and I’m sure he will bring the same energy to the timeless detective.  The movie will no doubt benefit from the presence of Jude Law as sidekick Watson and Rachel McAdams as a love interest for Sherlock.  Although the character has lost respectability over the past few years on the silver screen, this is a version that I am more than willing to get behind.

And it is with great sadness that I have to say that Heath Ledger’s last new movie, “The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus,” will be released this day.  He passed while in production of the movie, and Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell, and Jude Law stepped into finish the role.  The three stars donated their salary for the film to Ledger’s daughter, Matilda.  The movie seems to be quite a visual spectacle, and the eye-catching visuals could be a great complement to Ledger’s final performance.

December 30

The final release of 2009 is “The White Ribbon,” winner of the prestigious Palme D’Or prize at the Cannes Film Festival this spring.  The film, directed by Michael Haeneke, follows a community in pre-World War I Germany as they deal with “the origins of terrorism,” as the director puts it.  It has been selected as Germany’s submission to the Best Foreign Film category at the Academy Awards this year, so it is definitely a player there.  But with quite literal universal acclaim, it could compete in more serious categories.

So, have you started planning how you are going to fit all these movies into your holiday schedules like me?  If not, at least do me the courtesy of telling me what movie you would see if you could only see one.

This one has something for everyone – a little Hairspray, some Shrek, Napolean Dynamite, Steve Martin and Spider Man just to name a few. And best of all, there’s MC Rob Base and DJ Easy Rock.

I can’t get enough of the way Drew Brees leads his team by example & is driven to be the best!

He has a “swagger & chip on his shoulder” because he felt people doubted him…

All that doubting did was fuel his inner fire to be the best!

What do YOU do when you feel under-valued and doubted??

I suggest that you take on the Drew Brees mindset & prove that you are vauable to your team!! 

Let’s call it a ”Take a DeBrees” moment and press on to victory!!!

——————-

“Be so good that they Can’t ignore you” — Steve Martin