Hands and knees is a start....Kobe style might be a huge ring.

This weekend was a long weekend for me.  Obligations kept me busy the whole weekend, from a basketball game, to a debate tournament.  The crew was at the tournament and as he does, Ronin was chatting up the ladies.  Our buddy, Wes, who is a mess, salted Ronin’s game.  When I sat down and broke it to Wes about what he did, I began to realize it wasn’t his fault.  Wes was just a horrible wingman, thus counting on him for wingman game would not be wise.

Wes, learn the creed, follow the creed

I can’t be mad at someone for not doing something that I should know that they are bad at.  If you know you have a shoot first point guard, why get upset if he isn’t passing as much as you would like?

This is what America fails to realize about Tiger Woods.  We can’t be mad AT Tiger, because Tiger is a stiff.  You can condemn his actions, but it’s bigger than him.  To fully understand, what is going on, a definition is in order.

stiff (plural stiffs)

1. An average person, usually male, of no particular distinction, skill, or education, often a working stiff or lucky stiff.

   A Working Stiff’s Manifesto: A Memoir of Thirty Jobs I Quit, Nine That Fired Me, and Three I Can’t Remember was published in 2003.

2. A person who is deceived, as a mark or pigeon in a swindle.

   She convinced the stiff to go to her hotel room, where her henchman was waiting to rob him.

3. (slang) A cadaver, a dead person.
4. (US) A person who leaves (especially a restaurant) without paying the bill.

In understanding women, Tiger meets definition one and two.  When Tiger was working on his game growing up, he never got a chance to work out the kinks in his mating/macking/sexual game.  The reason why is is great at golf is that he had to ignore other urges and needs.  His sexual game is simple, rote. This is not to say that Tiger never got laid, but never got to enjoy the rockstar experience.  It is not his fault that he has been handled most of his life.  His handlers did a great job (that would include his parents, who by definition are handlers, but this refers to outside that family tree handling) almost too great in crafting the image.  People love to tear other people down, but one thing that is great about the human spirit is that we allow people to make mistakes.  Marion Barry did this and STILL got re-elected to public office.

Yes, this is the Mayor of Washington D.C. smoking crack...

He didn’t have this movie to guide him (How to Be a Player) The mistakes that he made in the whole scenario was very reminiscent of High School game. The silly voice mails are the first clue about his underdeveloped game.

Dre, if he only had you as a wingman, all would be good

The fact that he was texted is just a modern day note writing that any guy would not get caught up in, since that is the smoking gun.  (Guys and gals, remember, that text messages do not disappear in the great beyond.  They are easily accessible.  At least if you are cheating, cover your tracks.  Get rid of text messages and don’t send anything in them, since they can be read and saved by the other side. One rookie manuever is that people forget to clear the sent emails in their side, they only remember to get rid of the ones that they receive.)

But, there is a ray of light during this moment of darkness.  There is a manual for  getting through this and continuing to make the money.  Going on Oprah to win back the women.  A lot of guys were never mad at you in the first place.  they may have questioned you cheating on your smoking hot wife, but they were not mad, in the classic sense.  In fact, some men immediately put themselves in your situation and re-created your mistakes, in order to play out the scenario and figure out how not to make the mistakes you made.

She is that powerful...do not cross her...

But, going on Oprah is the key to winning back women who hate you right now.  The Mayo Clinic defines forgiveness.

What is forgiveness?

Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you may always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you deny the other person’s responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn’t minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.

The demographics of the Oprah show are the groups you need to win back. You need to find a way that they can forgive you, without minimizing the act.  We all make terrible life decisions. The black women vote is key.  Right now, you are polling low with them because of the affair (some of them are not mad at you for this.  They are the ones making excuses for you like, Elin wasn’t taking care of business at home and Tiger, I would make it work for you)  Memo to Tiger…be careful.  These are the types of women that you are sleeping with now. Back to the point at hand, the women you are polling poorly with.  One thing to remember is that Black women can be really racist, with the emphasis on really racist. There are women who are not mad that you had an affair, but are mad only because it was with a white women.  Oprah can help with that, because Oprah is a healer.  This is the time to say, “Whoops, I got caught up!” You will need to show your emotional side on the show, and you might even need to cry a little bit, to show contrition.  But, don’t worry, because most guys will never hear about it, much less see it.  So, don’t be self conscious.  At worst, we will say, “Wait til you get to the car to cry…”

(Don’t let Deebo see you slipping….you won’t have to go to the car to cry)

Oprah as the Great Emancipator can bring together white women as well.  They read Oprah, and value her input and opinion.  It’s the reason stars agree to do her show after bad press, like Tom Cruise.

Do not jump up and down professing your love for your wife. If you overdo it, people will not believe you. But, look at Oprah selling it and showing all the teeth and gums, pretending to be amused. This is the press you need.

Tiger, you can do it.  Let Oprah help…Harpo, reach out to a man who needs a helping hand…

Chris Cuomo Leaving GMA
After three years with Good Morning America, anchor Chris Cuomo is leaving the nations second top-rated morning program. Cuomo has been promoted to.

Chris Cuomo Leaving Good Morning America for 20/20 …
Fill out the following information and click on the Send button in order to send this post, Chris Cuomo Leaving Good Morning America for 20/20, to a friend. Friends name. Friends email address. Your name. Your email address …

Chris Cuomo Leaving GMA | All About News And News
Chris Cuomo announced today that hes leaving GMA. News anchor for ABC, 39-year-old Christopher (Chris) Cuomo stayed with Good Morning America for three.

Chris Cuomo Leaving Good Morning America For 20/20 (VIDEO …
Chris Cuomo announced he will be leaving Good Morning America to join Elizabeth Vargas as co-anchor of 20/20 on Thursday (December 10) – watch.

Chris Cuomo Leaving Good Morning America, Stephanopoulos joining …
Well that was sudden. Chris Cuomo announced this morning that tomorrow would be his last day on Good Morning America but its all good. Cuom.

Chris Cuomo to Leave Good Morning America – Media Decoder Blog …
Chris Cuomo, the “Good Morning America” newsreader, is exiting the show.

Chris Cuomo is officially leaving GMA for 20/20; rumored …
Chris Cuomo has announced that hes officially leaving Good Morning America for a spot on another ABC show, 20/20. Juju Chang is his rumored replacement on.

Chris Cuomo leaving Good Morning America for ABCs evening …
Congrats @ChrisCuomo … this is the ONE morning I didnt watch GMA b/c I was at the dentist. bayou Bumpshack: Chris Cuomo Leaving Good Morning America For 20/20 (VIDEO) http://bit.ly/4nY3te; confessing7girl BYEBYE!! Chris Cuomo Leaving …

Chris Cuomo confirms he is leaving Good Morning America – From …
Good Morning America news anchor Chris Cuomo told the audience today he is leaving the show.

Good Morning America, JuJu Chang, Diane Sawyer, George Stephanopoulos, co-host, news anchor, December 8, co-anchor, News correspondent, the network, Diane Robin, mistake, EW Book, news reader, stiff

The past couple of weeks have passed in a whirlwind and thinking back on what I actually did, only two big things stand out … and since I have been accused of neglecting my blog, I guess I should talk about them, hur?

Shopping spree: Ewokmama won a $1500 Style Me Makeover from Momversation in late November and invited me to join her fun-filled day. After a brief latte & cinnamon roll/blueberry hazelnut muffin stop, we spent five hours in the Daly City Target with Rob Morhaim and Daphne Brogdon picking out some amazing new work outfits for Ewokmama. Ewokmama had her makeup done by a very kind and hard-working Boots consultant which only enhanced her inner beauty. Seeing my best friend’s confidence change from morning to afternoon was probably the best part of the day. It’s one thing to hear “you look great!” from your best friend and your fiance, but when stylists, Target employees and strangers comment on how amazingly gorgeous you are, it has different clout. I don’t know that there is person in my life who deserved something like this more than Ewokmama.

Thanksgiving trip to Oregon: on Wednesday I traveled back to Oregon to visit my family and a couple of friends for the Thanksgiving holiday. For the most part, I had a really great time. Visiting with my parents, sister, two aunts, an uncle, Gramps, two cousins and a second-cousin (who roped me into performing an after-dinner “I got maracas!” show as a backup dancer (complete with castanets)) was emotionally rewarding as well as tiring. Everyone wanted to know details about my move to the Bay, including hearing about TheMister. I’ve not seen my family as happy for me in years and that made the trip worth it. I saw @SaraMD and @Geogon, ate a ton of food (including MEXICAN FOOD!) and enjoyed myself. The trip home was a little rough (didn’t feel so hot) but hugging Ewokmama and TheMister when I returned home was fantastic. I’m so thankful for my loved ones.

Other stuff:

• I’m moving from the House of Cracker in two weeks. It’s a bittersweet move as I know I’ll miss my Cracker family but it’s time for my own space and I can visit any time I want! My parents are going to bring my stored stuff from Oregon after Christmas and I’ll probably feel even more at home!
• Been spending a lot of time with TheMister and loving that. I am a damned lucky woman. He lent me A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius (Dave Eggers) and I am about 100 pages from finishing it. A fantastic book that I’m thankful he recommended. I also recently bought Spook (Mary Roach … she wrote Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers which I loved) and an out of print German book of essays on Dachau. I’m looking forward to reading both.
• I’ve been doing a lot of writing for WEGO Health lately. A lot of it. It feels really good to use my public health degree to do something positive for the Health Activist community. I’m particularly proud of my continuing series on the women’s health report. HIV – The number one killer of women, Women’s Health Report: let’s talk inequalities, Women’s Health Report: let’s talk about sex (baby), Women’s Health Report: it’s not all about sex, Women’s Health Report: let’s be fair now and Women’s Health Report: the failing systems are all entries about the recently released report on women’s health from the World Health Organization.
• Although I didn’t really attack my 109 in 2009, I’m going to make a list of 110 for 2010 like I’ve done before, with the big and the little things I’d like to accomplish in 2010, so I need to start on that, even if it’s just mentally! This year should be fun!

A man A man in the central province of Quang Nam claims he has been sleeping next to his dead wife’s body, which he himself encased inside a plaster statue, for more than four years.

Le Van, 56, told Thanh Nien that his wife, Pham Thi Sang, died suddenly in 2003 when he was working away from home.

Since then, Van has always maintained his wife was murdered although all the family told him she died naturally at home in her sleep.

At the funeral, the distraught husband had the insisted the burial is delayed as her sudden death was a great shock to him

http://www.thanhniennews.com/features/?catid=10&newsid=53988

JAY-Z STIFF ARMS VICTORIA’S SECRET
MODELS

The New York Post’s Page Six
reported that Jay-Z refused to be
photographed with the Victoria’s
Secret models at Thursday’s fashion
show and after party for fear of
upsetting his wife, Beyoncé.

IDRIS ELBA JOINS CAST OF ‘THOR’

Actor Idris Elba has joined the
cast of “Thor,” Marvel Studios’
film centering on the Norse god of
thunder.

NY REPORTER DOMINIC CARTER
CONVICTED

Cable television newsman Dominic
Carter, an influential reporter on
New York politics, was convicted
Friday of third-degree attempted
assault on his wife and could face
up to three months in jail.

At a recent show in Perth, Australia nearly 200 fans walked out of the venue after the third song due to disappointment in Ms. Spears’ performance.

I’m sure they all knew that Britney lip-syncs, since she has been doing it for quite some time, but they were more disappointed with her lack of stage presence. Fans were interviewed after the show and said that her “moves were sloppy and stiff.”

Boo to this! Britney needs to step it up and give the fans what they paid for. She used to be such an amazing performer in her prime, what happened? All that aside, I still love her.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

This morning I cleaned up around the house, and I spent some time online.  I listed my first item on Ebay EVER to see how their posting process works.

In a more Halloween spirit (ha ha), I started reading the book Stiff : The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers again.  I first tried to read it about two years ago while I was still in school, and somewhere along the line it fell by the wayside.

It’s really cool, though, and talks about historical views of how cadavers should be handled vs. current-day applications.

There is a chapter about the “body farm” in Tennessee, where corpses are subjected to a variety of conditions such as being left in the sun, or in the trunk of a car, or in a shallow grave, and scientists measure the rate at which the bodies decompose and the level of particular chemicals that are found in the bodies and surrounding soil at different points during the decomposition.  This helps forensic scientists to better date crime scene bodies and solve cases.  Yay!

Another chapter discusses how cadavers are used in crash tests to improve car safety and to improve other products.  And how there was a market for body snatchers back in the day when no one wanted to donate their body to science because they felt that they would physically need it in the afterlife.  Wow!

And I’m sure that this has been better developed and researched since the time that the book was written, but there is a chapter on the disposal of bodies which talks about “tissue digestion” as an alternative to burial or cremation, where basically the body mass is reduced through water and lye instead of fire (or, I suppose natural reduction from bacteria).  It’s supposed to be cheaper overall and cause less damage to the environment.  Neat!

*****

Later in the evening, Ryan and I went to a Halloween party at our friend’s house.

Guess who we are!

We were all supposed to head to this bar for a costume contest at midnight, however, the contest was held before we got there.  This was a bit of a disappointment considering that the owner of the bar knew that my pal was bringing a lot of folks along specifically for the contest.  Plus, a lot party-goers thought that I would have won.

Bummer!

Either way, we had a great time and met a lot of new people.

Z

hey babe u there? BUZZ!!! hey babe.muah muah.

ME

hello

Z

how u doin babe?

ME

workin here

ME has accepted the invitation to view your webcam.

ME has started viewing your webcam.

Z

u see me?

ME

yes

Z

nice. can i see ya babe?

ME

ok i try to fix my cam

Z

okie i will w8. mmm   nice… i see ya…

ME

okay

Z

so how u doin babe?

ME

how r u

Z

im gud..

ME

doin good

Z

how r u? hahahaha

ME

Z

hiding???? mmm cam is stuck!!!  okie now i see.

ME

my cam

Z

ya its okie noe. ur cam stopped???

ME

c me. why

Z

no. i seee ya

ME

ok

Z

so how is ur day?

ME

good

Z

nice..

ME

what about u

Z

‘good’ without me???? was bad but now i see ya… so its gud

ME

bcoz am talkin to u now

Z

mm nice..so wat time do u get over today? brb

ME

till 11:15

Z

okie nice.. so u feeling tired?

ME

need glasses on my eyes

Z

want a massage???    Want my sweet warm hands???

ME

yeah come here now.  i need you

Z

mmm. i wish i could babe right now fly and come to you and then massage you… and then hold u tight right next to me..

ME

wow ……………i love it

Z

and then breath on ur neck warm and sweet..  and then slowly nibble ur ears…  and smell ur lovely perfume… and then…. and then…..

ME

Z

wat do u think? u like it?

ME

Z

yes.. so when i do all this.. what will you do?

ME

i want real………….

Z

…wat real?

ME

touch

Z

mmm and ??? anything else?

ME

ur kiss

Z

well all gud things have to wait babe… and??? and???

ME

Yupppppppp

Z

nice…wow that was gud… i love to..

ME

ok

Z

maybe when i come we can also travel for a week.. around ur country.. and then ill have u Day & Night with me… and no distractions..

ME

Okay. nice

Z

so we go out dancing… we go to the beach and i see ya in ur sexy bikini..

ME

Yes

Z

and then we go out to have some drinks.. and at night we sleep…

ME

but i dont drink

Z

but i sleep with nothing on i hope its not a problem!!!   thats okie… just a glas pf wine..

ME

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. am scared your????????????????

Z

i hope u dont mind. u are scared you wont be able to resist, huh????

ME

Z

u will be tempted to touch me huh???

ME

ohh yea

Z

and tempted to kiss me??? and feel me… and put ur hands on me…

ME

think sooooooooooo

Z

so wat do u wear when u sleep?

ME

bikini

Z

wow.. but u should let ur boobs be free…. i mean they should be open at night..

ME

topless

Z

i will take gud care of them… yes babe… i promise..

ME

Z

and then when u get tired i will massage you..

ME

all my body

Z

and then for dinner i will put u on the dinner table, and slow and nicely have u covered with hot sauce.. and eat u up baby…

ME

Wow

Z

i hope u like it…

ME

new menufor me

Z

tell me something u like whne a guy goes down on u? and uses his tongue… to kiss u and tuch u down there???

ME

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Z

mm nice..

ME

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Z

im going to eat u up… for dessert and make u moan… AHHHHHHHHH

ME

make sure i like

Z

i want to make u scream loud and wake up the neighbours…

ME

really huh

Z

u like to scream???

ME

yeah coz i like

Z

are u shaved down there???

u will ask for more and more…

ME

no

Z

betetr.. will lick you juices clean….

ME

but if u like to shave it okay

Z

we will just trim it..i love some hair there…

ME

Z

and wat would you like to do to me babe???

ME

on top on u

Z

wow seriously… and do wat?

ME

Yessssssssssssssss up and down

Z

nice.. all 8″ inside u..mmm

ME

u like

Z

yes…

ME

i sucked yours

Z

my shaft inside mmm… u like that..mmm nice.. ill pull ur hair..

ME

yup

Z

and u take me inside ur mouth…full 8″,   8inches..

ME

wow

Z

thick and strong and hard all for u babe…

ME

real big

Z

i hope u can make it bigger…

ME

yea i will it bigger

Z

u like to suck???

ME

Yesssssss i love it

Z

and like to taste my cum?? in ur mouth?

ME

yup

Z

i love it all ready..,mmmm  tell me wat else… u like to do???

ME

am excited

Z

im hard and horny…

ME

u excited. Hhhhhhhmh

Z

my monster is rising… tell me more..

ME

i will shake my …………….to your mouth,  hahaha

Z

i will take my tongue out… mmm   and lick it.. and bite it..and make it stiff..

ME

aaaagh  hmmm

Z

and then we go out..and u dont wear bra or panty… just a sexy top.. with some clevage and nie skirt..

ME

Yesssssssssssssssssssss

Z

and we have fun on the dance floor babe..

ME

Wow

Z

dancing to nice music…

ME

we too hot

Z

u will grind into me… ur arse all over my crotch..

ME

hmmmmm

Z

my monster rising… mmm

ME

wow i like

Z

i like it too babe.. and then when we get babe.. i just carry you to bed…

ME

like hard and strong

Z

and make love like rabbits all night long.. and i tear all your clothes.. u like to do what i tell ya???

ME

yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Z

u are making me hot and hard and horny… just thing about it.. u can be my sex slave… mmm

ME

really i like that

Z

every morning ill have ur sweet pussy for breakfast.. and juices to drink.. and u will roam around the house just in ur thongs..

ME

your good in bed

Z

we wil do it in bed. in the kitchen in the bathroom under the shower and in the bathtub on the dining table

ME

yes

Z

and on the couch in the living room… and if we get a chance in the elevator.. on the terrace

ME

in pool too

Z

and the beach.

ME

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssss

Z

hye can i see ur arse? i mean if u can get u and move slighty.. then i can see it.. i hust have to se it..

Z

im wondering how it is..

ME

hhmmmmmmmmmmmm

Z

BUZZ!!!

u there?

2.04 Mb | SharingMatrix | Weird | 212 Pages

“Uproariously funny” doesn’t seem a likely description for a book on cadavers. However, Roach, a Salon and Reader’s Digest columnist, has done the nearly impossible and written a book as informative and respectful as it is irreverent and witty. From her opening lines (“The way I see it, being dead is not terribly far off from being on a cruise ship. Most of your time is spent lying on your back”), it is clear that she’s taking a unique approach to issues surrounding death. Roach delves into the many productive uses to which cadavers have been put, from medical experimentation to applications in transportation safety research (in a chapter archly called “Dead Man Driving”) to work by forensic scientists quantifying rates of decay under a wide array of bizarre circumstances. There are also chapters on cannibalism, including an aside on dumplings allegedly filled with human remains from a Chinese crematorium, methods of disposal (burial, cremation, composting) and “beating-heart” cadavers used in organ transplants. Roach has a fabulous eye and a wonderful voice as she describes such macabre situations as a plastic surgery seminar with doctors practicing face-lifts on decapitated human heads and her trip to China in search of the cannibalistic dumpling makers. Even Roach’s digressions and footnotes are captivating, helping to make the book impossible to put down.

Download from SharingMatrix

Researching traditions about death can lead to some occluded avenues shunned by many Ancient Near East scholars (generally anything after about the rise of the Roman Empire is irrelevant). It has long been my contention that death and religion are intricately intertwined, well nigh incapable of being teased apart. I’m also very interested in the research of writers on popular culture. Findings, no matter how erudite, if they don’t reach the public will only fail to impress. Mary Roach, ever masterful, wrote a morbidly fascinating account of the afterlife, so to speak, of corpses. This work (Stiff) was followed shortly by Spook — her foray into the science of ghosts. Anyone who can have you mortified one minute and laughing out loud the next deserves to be read.

Can't have one without the other

I recently finished Matthew Beresford’s From Demons to Dracula: The Creation of the Modern Vampire Myth (Reaktion, 2008). I was pleasantly surprised that Beresford ambled back to the Neolithic Period in his quest for vampire origins. A number of unexpected facts jumped out at me from his pages — vampires historically have very few traits that last through the folklore about them over the ages. Primarily all they share is being improperly dead. This horrific concept is among the most deeply rooted of human terrors. We prefer the properly dead who stay dead, thank you. Whether revenant or still alive, the vampire somehow threatens the lives of the living and must be dispatched by making him (or her) properly dead.

More rat than bat

Having been a youngster and woefully unaware of international news at the time, I had never heard of England’s Highgate Vampire of the 1970s. A disjointed and confusing account involving an actual vampire-hunting Catholic priest, a rival vampire-hunting occultist, and ending with the actual staking of a corpse (in 1970! CE!), the tale in Beresford’s book is almost incredible. A little web research demonstrated that the story still has a much wider following than this blog will ever have. Overall, however, it convinced me that my inklings of the danse macabre between religion and death were as accurate as a vampire hunter’s stake.

http://www.returntothepit.com/concert.php?date=2009-09-03

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Some Images:

Fucking corpses… literally. I’ve always been a fan of dead shit, but this exhibit takes the cake. These people take bodies, remove the skins and replace the water and lipids with plastic. They call it plastination. So it’s like a rubber chicken, only it’s an actual chicken, and it’s not a chicken; it’s a chick. Usually, they pose these things with tennis rackets and sit them on plastinated horses. But now they’ve got ‘em jumping each other’s bones. So to speak.

I completely approve of this. Exploiting the dead for our amusement is an American tradition. So is gore for gore’s sake. So is the perversion of the beautiful feminine crotch rose and the fabled yogurt udder. And so is justifying all the loathsome shit we do in the name of science. Someday someone’s going to let it slip that we do this just because it gives us boners. It’s not that we can’t figure out how reverse-cowgirl works. We just want to see it with a rubberized cock and a skinless woman split to the taint.

I’m absolutely positive that this technology is already being used for covert evil. Realdolls retail for $6500. How much would a plastinate run? Preserved dead sphincters. You don’t get any more “realistic” without a shovel. And I know there are plenty of sick fucks who’d like to wake up next to a woman with no face. For the necro-curious, we could set up private rooms where a patron can try before he buys. Since plastinated tissues are sealed, durable surfaces, we can hose ‘em down and present Peeled-Tits Patty to the next discerning gentleman. Not to mention the necro-bestial possibilities. This guy looks rough and ready to me.

Sexual misconduct aside, there are plenty of other reasons to set up a plastination-for-profit scheme. Haunted houses, for one. Traditionally, the owners of freak shows buy their “bodies” from sculptors. They tend to be mass-produced and have seams, imperfections, and approximated textures. This sonsabitches have exact textures. And they can be touched – for a fee, of course. How do we convince partygoers that the props used to be people? We get a unique seal that we issue to our customers. They post the seal where it can be viewed by patrons, assuring them that it doesn’t get more disrespectful of the dead than this. Bonus: You can set up a booth outside the exit, selling new pants for everyone who shit themselves or jizzed uncontrollably. Guaranteed income.

You could get one so you can ride in the carpool lane. Or to practice your dance moves. I think they’d make great props for art film directors and photographers. Is it still a snuff film if the guy was already dead before you peeled the latex skin away? I don’t know, but it would be hot as hell. They’re perfect coat racks. They’d easily out-perform cardboard standups in adding rock to a dorm room. And you could put yours by a window with binoculars so your neighbor closes her curtains on that side and, thinking she’s safe, leaves the other curtains open. But she doesn’t know that you’re actually on that side, watching her peel her sweaty t-shirt off, listening to her wheeze as she goes for the stretch pants, dreaming of those slick, delicious folds and fucking a can of Crisco. You know, with Seran wrap over the top so it doesn’t glop out and a hole in the plastic just a little too tight to kind of strangle the corn cob.

What’s really ironic is that most people are up in arms because some of the stiffs in Body World don’t have release forms or identifying records. So they might be political prisoners. My question to them is this: If you were a political prisoner and going to die anyway, would you rather be eaten alive by rats and gangrene, and dumped in a ravine full of other rotting dudes, possibly having your balls touch? Or would you want a merciful poisoning (because muzzle stamps raise questions), after which your earthly husk would be preserved forever, holding a cat on a ladder? I think the answer is clear.

Unless you’re purchased by a pervert who regularly fills your now-rigid mouth with bloody semen and fucks himself with your skinless balls. That would be about as gay as humping another rancid corpse. And at least in the ditch you’d eventually rot. But that’s not the point, is it? The point is that it’s a better use for the dead. It could stimulate our economy and give families with stillbirths a permanent reminder of their suffering. Or a chew toy for their dog. Either way.

This is the way of the future. Just think… In a few years, you’ll be telling your grandchildren, “Back in my day, if we wanted to see a pregnant woman split down the side, we had to buy gloves and a glass cutter and peel the bitch ourselves.”

Yesterday i was traveling on the metro train. I was sitting in a corner seat and was thinking about the agent conundrum. Yes i know it is quite tricky and not very easy to solve. There were two other people sitting next to me and the wagon was almost full of people.

An elderly couple came on the train on one of its stops. As anyone who has traveled on these trains knows how it is when the train starts moving and one feels a sudden jolt backwards (or forwards in some cases, depends all upon the direction of acceleration and inertia), the old couple experienced the same. Well the old lady was not holding on to something so she fell and while catching her the old man, her husband, fell down as well. It was quite a fall. I think that both of them lost their consciousness for a moment.

The real irony of the situation is the number of people that helped them up afterward. One, yes only one. A girl sitting in front of me, She had the courage and quick reflexes to help them up and offer both of them her own seat. She even helped the old lady pick up her things. The old couple sat down in front of me and were relieved. It all happened in a few seconds… but still just one person helped them up.

Even i didn’t help them. No there is absolutely no excuse for such an action. No matter how much one explains there is no excuse . I should have helped them or at least asked if they were alright. They sat next to me and the rest of the journey, which was only seven minutes, seemed like 70 years.  The worst part is when the old man told his wife that “this was a good exercise, we better get used to it”. He knew exactly that next time there might be no one to help them.

Why did everything went that way? why was everyone so stiff and no one dared do anything? why so indifferent in such a situation. Moral degradation begins with the lack of will to act in times of need. I just hope that the next time such a situation arises, i have the courage and will to act.

The second day is always harder. You’re stiff, you’re sore, you don’t want to be outside…and it was nice and hot and sunny.

The sky was beautiful. I took pictures of the globe we were running in…but those will have to wait. Have something secret to do tonight. So I’ll be back tomorrow.

Know that Mason did good today. He made it all the way around (3.6 miles) and even ran about one of those miles!

And we saw some kind of weird looking frog. Kind of thin and sparkly, brown skin with gold pin stripes and black spots. He could jump far in a single leap. Picture below.

See you all later!

Ali Jaafar – Variety

Jason Statham is in final negotiations to star in “Blitz,” a London-set thriller about a serial killer targeting police officers.

Lionsgate U.K. is fully financing the project, which is an adaptation of Ken Bruen’s bestseller of the same name. Mandate Intl. will handle international sales.

“Blitz” will be Lionsgate U.K.’s first British project since it announced its plans to beef up its local production last year. It will also mark the first collaboration between Statham and Lionsgate U.K. since last year’s “The Bank Job,” which was a hit at the Blighty box office.

Statham will play a tough, uncompromising cop assigned the task of tracking down the killer. Paddy Considine will play his partner.

Nathan Parker wrote the script; Elliott Lester is directing.

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Lionsgate U.K. topper Zygi Kamasa, Steve Chasman, Brad Wyman and Donald Kushner are producing.

Project begins lensing Aug. 10 in London.

“Jason and I are excited about the opportunity to be working here again as we are keen to continue supporting British films,” Chasman said.

While its U.S.-based parent company has been the subject of boardroom unrest with speculation over the intentions of shareholder and corporate raider Carl Icahn, Lionsgate U.K. has been gradually ramping up its production activities.

Lionsgate U.K. projects in the hopper include the $15 million contemporary sci-fi thriller “83,” which Noel Clarke will write, direct and star in; and laffer “Stiff,” from “Borat” writer Dan Mazer and producer Andrea Calderwood about a 1980s rock star who falls into a coma on stage and wakes up 20 years later.

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“…And then,” Debbie concluded, “he said he knew I didn’t aprove of his art and that I was ashamed of him. Since then, it’s been hard convincing him to see me at all.”

“But it sounds to me like you’re proud of him!” Victoria exclaimed. She’d just listened to Debbie describing her son’s rollercoaster-style life for the last ten minutes, and Debbie’s eyes had shown in the faint glow of the cellphone screen with a deep love and admiration of her scattered boy.

“I am. I think his sculptures are beautiful. He thinks I’m full of it, though,” Debbie’s eyes filled again with tears. “I don’t know how to convince him differently. But,” she collected herself. “I do the best I can, as often as I can. I hope he’ll understand about today.”

Victoria nodded somberly. The man in the corner of the elevator gave a sudden phlegm-based cough and both Victoria and Debbie jumped. They’d almost forgotten he was there; he’d been utterly silent while Debbie spoke. Now, Debbie looked up at him with a half smile.

“Rob, sit down, Hun,” She said. “They’ll get us out of here eventually, but there’s no use standing like a lump in the corner. It isn’t going to make anything go any faster.” Victoria smiled inwardly at the motherly tone that Debbie used with this stout, stuffy little man. Rob wore an impeccable suit, obviously expensive, in charcoal grey, and his hair, so obviously oiled, had a little spike standing up out of it, as if he’d begun to run his hand through it before remembering that he mustn’t ruin his exquisite hairstyle.

“No, thank you, Debra, I’d rather stand,” he answered. Despite his look of calm snootiness, his voice sounded strained. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, and Victoria could tell that he was playing with something in his right hand, twisting something around and around in the pocket.

“What have you got there – Rob, is it?” she asked.

“It’s Robert. And it’s nothing.”

“Seems like something,” Victoria smiled at him. She had a way of smiling which she’d used on her younger brother when they were young – she still remembered how to do it. It had made her brother tremble with fear and then submission, and it did the same thing to Mr. It’s-Robert. He looked at her strangely, not sure of what her smile meant, and broke eye contact. He took his hand out of his pocket and showed Victoria a smooth, round stone, the kind that’s abundant on riverbanks. It was, Victoria noted, the perfect skipping stone, because it was smooth and rather flat. But then Rob held it out and the light caught it, and she saw that the stone wasn’t grey, as she’d thought at first, but rather a deep green. Then she saw that through the green were thick veins of a very dark red.

“What is it?” she asked wonderingly. It was beautiful.

“It’s a bloodstone,” Rob answered. “It’s the birthstone for March, and it’s very rare to find such fine specimans as this one. My wife and I went to India for our second honeymoon, and she bought me this as a surprise. It’s actually a funny story – we’d been in the market, and this old man without a word of English tried to sell it to us…” Rob’s voice trailed off. Victoria stared at him in wonder. Here was a man who she would never guess would have gone to India. For a second honeymoon, no less! People only have second honeymoons if they’re married for a while, right? Her thoughts were in a whirl at the image of this stuffy, haughty little man galavanting around Indian markets.

Vicky! she chided herself. You mean thing. As if you know anything about people by looking at them… If the world worked quite so simply you’d never have gotten to where you are. So say something nice now, and close your mouth.

“It’s a beautiful stone,” she murmered.

“Yes,” Rob seemed about to smile but then rearranged his facial expression into a frown. “When will they come to get us the hell out of here?”

“Soon, Hun,” Debbie answered wearily, pulling a bottle of water out of her purse. It was really getting hot in the small space. “I hope. Want some water, folks?”

A will drafted by Michael Jackson in 2002 which divides the singer’s estate among his mother, three children and one or more charities could play a central role in determining how his tangled financial relationships will be unwound.

Several people close to the late Jackson said that a lawyer for the pop singer could submit the will, believed to be his last, to Los Angeles Superior Court as soon as Thursday. That filing would cap a tense period in which relatives and advisers of the late singer debated what document, if any, was valid.

One or two other earlier wills have emerged since Jackson’s death last Thursday, according to people familiar with the situation. The Associated Press reported that Jackson’s parents, Joseph and Katherine Jackson, said in a Monday court filing that they believed the singer had died without a valid will. Joseph Jackson isn’t believed to be included in the most recent will.

*56 Pounds of Raw Flesh* is the latest phenomenon on the hip hop stage. The duo from suburban London made headlines early May when they released their first cd “Born Dead….So What?”. The release went double platinum in just 3 weeks, and they are now fully booked in talk shows world wide – Oprah, Tyra Banks, Jerry Springer, etc.

Stiff Dealer (Jason Smythe; left) and Born-Dead Bobby (Robert Jickety) from the Duo 56 Pounds of Raw Flesh on their first official photo

“Born Dead….So What?” is a multi-instrumental hardcore rap album that lyrically mostly recembles early and angry Ice Cube, but the musical viciousness and speed sounds more like their contrymen’s Silver Bullet and Hijack. The duo is experimenting with various vocal styles, but the most dominat is the straight-up hardcore rap style:

“Born in a world of shame and lust

Kicked to the ground and the dirt and the dust

Hit by slaves to the Man – fuck the police

Beat the dead down, cause they hate having peace”

Story tells it, the duo was killed in a police raid and while on the morgue table before autopsy, they resurrected and striked a deal with DEATH ROW RECORDS. Tru or false, wrong or right? The Duo of Death is here to stay!

The crowd of the duo's first official gig consisted of fans dressing up as their new idols (Liverpool, May 2009)