The late 1980s soon featured rapping in everything, from movies like “Teen Witch” with it’s notorious “Top That” rap:

to the Super Mario Bros. cartoon episode entitled “Bad Rap”:

to bizarre straight-to-VHS kids productions that could only be the product of bad acid trips:

Like a transplanted kidney, rap music had been firmly excised from the hearts of the ghetto and supplanted into the backyards of suburbia. However, if there’s any organ that should’ve been rejected, it’s this incompatible hunk of poo.

Everyone was secretly an aspiring rap music video director, and that crept into the walls of pop culture like black mold. Note the probably unlicensed Pink Floyd sample in the beginning:

From here, it was only a matter of time before incredibly bad rap found it’s way into commercials for small children. This is a key point of horribleness, as it is well known that junk food commercials provide 40 percent of a child’s learning. No examples are quite so notorious as this McDonalds chicken nugget rap and the Barney Rubble Fruity Pebble rap.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Via: Asylum.com.

Well, well, well. Leave it to me to turn a “relaxing week away” into an illness-filled haze of rumplemintz, hospitals, and general chaos.

It started out innocently enough – a four-course meal with my parents and an early night in. And then, Black Wednesday hit. Every year on Black Wednesday everyone in my hometown goes to the same nondescript bar, Benny’s. There is something so comforting about this tradition – it’s like no matter what is going on in your life you know that on this day, at this place, you will reconnect with all the people who helped make you who you are. Plus, the drinks are like $3, and this year there was, wait for it…KARAOKE! I knew I was in trouble when my friend sat down at our table, gave me a $100 bill and told me to buy shots and drinks for the table. It was 8:30 and the jäger was already flowing. Oops!

Cut to 3 hours, 2 venues and too many shots later: Some trashy song comes on, I spring from my seat and manage to fall really hard on my right side. I probably got some sort of disease from even making contact with this “dance” (i.e. humping) floor. Yet, I found the fall so hilarious, I refused to get up. My knight in shining sobriety had to use both his hands to guide me to my feet.

The next day, I was understandably under the weather. Yet, the entire week leading up to Thanksgiving I insisted on making a dish – my soon to be famous baked beans. I dragged my mom to two grocery stores in the rain the day before to get way too many ingredients that she will surely never use again. And, of course, I was way too hungover (or so I thought…) to lift my head up, let alone eat or cook. This marks the fourth Thanksgiving that I have been too hungover to eat. Fabulous.

I spent the next 24 hours vomming up everything I’ve ever eaten or thought about consuming, with no sympathy from the fam. I did this to myself, after all! In reality, I think I contracted some weird virus that still has not fully gone away. The flu-ish feeling turned into a hideous cold, but don’t fear, friends, I made it out for a few Friday night drinks, at which point I convinced my friends I OD’d on cold medicine. Classy. I slept the rest of the weekend, broke the remote and was stuck watching the SOAPNet for 14 hours, and was like, way too alone with my thoughts. Then, my sister landed in the hospital in critical care, (she’s fine now), my mom got the flu, and I missed my favorite shopping date of the year. Oy.

Yep, sounds like a typical Pants holiday to me.

smfh…. This n*gga needs to be medicated…

SCAM AFTA SCAM: A TRUE STORY

-By Ozone Magazine

OZONE Magazine investigates how a new breed of greedy artist managers and booking agents, led by Gucci Mane’s representatives, are sucking the blood out of the music industry.

by Julia Beverly (this article also appears in the upcoming print edition of OZONE Mag)

“Johnnie [Cabbell] is the grand vampire,” proclaims legendary Chicago-based promoter Godfather. For over twenty years, Godfather has been promoting concerts through his company Star Power Entertainment Group. He estimates his losses from bad business deals with Johnnie Cabbell and Debra Antney to be nearly $100,000. “I don’t work with Johnnie anymore,” he states emphatically. “He sucks the blood out of you.”

As the CEO of Hitt Afta Hitt (otherwise known as HAH), Johnnie Cabbell is Gucci Mane’s exclusive booking agent and also manages Bankhead rapper Shawty Lo. Johnnie’s “partner in crime,” Godfather says, is Debra Antney, who describes herself as Gucci Mane’s “business partner and manager.” As CEO of Gucci’s So Icey Records and the management company Mizay Entertainment, Antney also oversees the careers of OJ da Juiceman, Nicki Minaj, and others. Multiple promoters from across the country allege that Cabbell and Antney have collaborated to defraud them collectively of hundreds of thousands of dollars.

THE SO ICEY TOUR

Scheduled for at least 12 cities in July 2009, the So Icey Tour was supposed to feature OJ da Juiceman, Nicki Minaj, and the headliner, Gucci Mane. It sounded promising. Gucci’s buzz was at an all-time high. He had just returned home from prison a few months earlier to ecstatic crowds at “Welcome Home Gucci” parties throughout the South. His artist/protégé OJ had been steadily building a buzz of his own and helping to keep Gucci’s name alive by flooding the streets with mixtapes and fresh material. They were both hot commodities. And in an industry nearly void of female artists, up-and-coming emcee/sex symbol Nicki Minaj was quickly building a name for herself, strengthened by her affiliations with Lil Wayne and Gucci Mane. The timing seemed perfect.

But by all accounts, the “tour,” organized by a Carolina-based promoter named Shannon Marshall, was a mess and fell apart almost immediately. None of the artists showed up for the first two Florida dates (July 4th & 5th), leaving veteran promoter Mr. CC (who, like Godfather in Chicago, has been successfully promoting concerts for over 20 years) with losses of over $140,000. He claims that nearly half of that money, around $70,000, is in the hands of Cabbell/Antney, who refuse to return the deposits or reschedule his dates.

On July 19th, 2009, midway through the scheduled tour dates, Soulja Boy tweeted, “My nigga Gucci back in jail. Free Gucci.” (right) Rumors quickly spread that Gucci had again violated the terms of his probation and was back in jail (or rehab). Although Gucci’s management and label denied the rehab rumors and it’s still unclear exactly where Gucci was in mid-July, it’s clear where he wasn’t: He wasn’t on the So Icey Tour. Of the 12 scheduled tour dates, OZONE has confirmed that at least six, but probably more of these shows (Jacksonville, FL; Pompano Beach/Ft. Lauderdale, FL; Louisville, KY; Chicago, IL; Baltimore, MD; and Detroit, MI) never happened, leaving furious promoters demanding refunds…..

To continue reading in PDF format (recommended), click here.
To continue reading in plain text format (no images), click here.

Oh sh*t, this is classic. I have a Magellan GPS otherwise this would already be copped. I stay cursing out the female voice on my unit when she gets me lost or tells me to turn too late. That bitch thinks she’s so smart, but she doesn’t know half the shortcuts I do.

Other rapper voice skins I’d like to see:

1. Billy Danze (Never fall asleep behind the wheel again)
2. Jim Jones (”Make this left or join the Kufi category”)
3. Rich Boy (You wouldn’t understand a word he said, but so what)
4. Curtis (”You’re actually gonna need to make an aggressive u-turn”)

Nahright

Bonus “Simpsons” Voice after the jump

“Not actual Pirate”

Somali pirates have captured a tanker carrying oil to the US, officials say.

The Greek-owned Maran Centaurus was about 1,300km (800 miles) off Somalia when it was hijacked on Sunday, said the EU Naval task force (Navfor).

The ship was full of oil and is believed to be one of the largest yet seized by Somali pirates. There are 28 crew members on board.

Pirate attacks have been common off the Somali coast and international navies have been deployed to counter them.

A spokesman for the Greek coastguard told Reuters news agency that about nine armed pirates attacked the ship close to the Seychelles.

This incident clearly shows the pirates are becoming more bolder Rashid Abdi Somalia analyst

As it was fully laden, it was moving quite slowly – between 11 and 15 knots (20-27km/h) – when attacked, a Navfor spokesman told the BBC.

Reuters reports the Greek defence ministry as saying that a Greek navy frigate which had been involved with the Navfor operation was now shadowing the vessel.

Navfor said the ship, which has a dead weight of some 300,000 tonnes, had been sailing to New Orleans in the US from Jeddah in Saudi Arabia but was now heading towards Somalia.

Its crew is made up of 16 Filipinos, nine Greeks, two Ukrainians and one Romanian.

Maran Tankers Management, which operates the vessel, told Reuters the crew were “well”.

Somalia analyst at the International Crisis Group think-tank Rashid Abdi says the fact that pirates are now operating so far out to sea shows that the intervention of the world’s navies has made little difference to the problem of piracy.

“This incident clearly shows the pirates are becoming more bolder,” he says.

“So I don’t think the solution is in building the naval deployment there, or increasing the naval deployment. The problem is actually in dealing with the governance crisis which feeds the problem of piracy.”

‘Mother ships’

War-torn Somalia has had no functioning government since 1991, allowing pirates to operate along the lawless coast almost with impunity.

In recent months, the pirates have started operating further from the Somali coast.

They are believed to use “mother-ships” to reach the high seas, before using small skiffs to carry out their attacks.

Pirates are currently holding 11 vessels and 264 crew members in Somalia, the Navfor spokesman said.

In November 2008, the Sirius Star, carrying two million barrels of oil – a quarter of Saudi Arabia’s daily output – became the largest ship ever seized by pirates. It has a deadweight of 318,000 tonnes.

The vessel was released in January after a ransom of $3m (then £1.95m) was paid.

Navfor is one of several international naval forces patrolling the oceans off the country to try to prevent the captures of ships using the vital sea routes. Nato and the US also lead task forces.

Earlier this month, the US began using unmanned drones to scour the Indian Ocean for suspect vessels.

As I wash down two pieces of toast and peanut butter with a good old cuppa my hair all over the place as I’ve just been woken up by the sunrise across a really still ocean, I look out and think how far away are we? According to Google at least 4500 miles. So I thought it about time to sit and catch up on the blog – an opportunity to feel closer to a world I was once familiar with.

I can’t believe I’ve not written for so long, 17th November was the last entry and that was a delayed article for Miamiartzine…that never did get published. I’ve taken a bit of a knock the past few weeks. Not that anything that terrible has happened at all but it’s just the process of learning the lessons of settling into a new place where I have no reputation, no identity, no past and, to be honest only a short future. It’s easy to blame and moan about the lack of process here, I guess it’s just magnified in a place I don’t know.

Whilst my wish list of places we must see while we’re here keeps growing Mark’s has been shrinking as he has managed to pack in hundreds of airmiles through work trips. China, India, Europe…I can’t wait for it to slow down a little bit so we can discover South and Central America and of course some of North America too. We’ve a bit of time so I’m not worried just yet. Mark and I hope to be back in the Peaks come 2012 but before then we have a whole new country (plus a few other countries) to explore.

At the risk of just listing a bunch of experiences and not explaining the rich and diverse cultural experiences in any real depth I’ve hyperlinked each ‘thing’ so, should you wish to do so, you can go and explore each of them in a little more depth.

The great highs these past couple of weeks have included; revisting Soyka with Vera for a wonderful lunch after a long run over the Venetian Causeway, getting to know the high school I’m volunteering at a little better and experiencing the Wolfsonian’s library and private book collection with the ‘Page at a Time‘ class; doing a little private yoga at a quirky, hidden studio with a lovely new friend followed by really yummy raw food at Om Garden; finally getting out and mountain biking at Oleta State Park…and now that I’m fitter, really enjoying it! Running the Turkey Trot 5k in the rain after listening to a kid sing a particularly wobbly version of the American national anthem and then crossing the finish line to bright blue skies and a very excited husband; experiencing our very first Thanksgiving with fantastic company, a self-playing grand piano and copious amounts of gorgeous foods (like cinnamon baked yams covered in marshmallows – AMAZING), discovering a little french bakery and sitting outside with a glass of wine, cheese and great company – in November too, meeting our landlord (a very gorgeous model) and taking him to the amazing opening of the British Prints exhibition at the Wolfsonian drinking fabulous cocktails amongst now 7mth old lovely companions, meeting an inspiring and fantastic artist Janet M Mueller and trading art for lessons in adobe, a delicious Mongolian dinner at a hidden little restaurant on north beach with another two lovely friends; cleaning and drying 20 excited and lovable dogs all ready for adoption and scrubbing the house from top to bottom for Save a Death Row Dog; attending an amazing Art Basel kick off party at the Bakehouse Art Complex (BAC) with a really diverse group of people, great live music and so much incredible art work only to also discover that Janet was being awarded with associate artist that evening so she can exhibit her work there – fantastic news! And finally, the little (just as important) moments that should not ever be forgotten…driving through neighborhoods that are so vast and varied from Brickell (high rise and polished) to Wynwood (residential and edgy); walking on the sand and feeling the sea wash over my toes, a little cooler now we’re in winter; laying on the beach with a chai tea and reading Catch 22, watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade on NBC while ripping and sticking inspiration into a sketchbook; getting snuggle-buggles (AKA cosy) and finally finding the time to watch – Annie, Good Will Hunting, The Birdcage, Funny People, Away We Go, Stranger than Fiction amongst many other DVDs from Blockbusters on Alton and 15th and loving the depth and breadth of all these films I’ve missed out on because I’ve always chosen to watch the cheesy flick – the easy option – to zone out to when I was absolutely shattered; sharing in a glass of wine with a few new friends, going to the cinema and inhaling the smell of sweet, salted hot popcorn and watching The Men who Stare at Goats with Vera in the local Regal Theater (always ensuring we go and have a nosy in Anthropologie next door before or after the film it doesn’t matter just as long as we step inside for a few minutes to smell candles and dream up our wish lists), wobbly seats and tables at The News Cafe and fresh food and big aisles at the new Publix on 5th and Alton filled with all those once unfamiliar brands and products now looking a little more familiar and not so scary – dare I say it…I’m finally feeling a connection with Publix very similar to the one I had with Waitrose or Sainsburys back in the UK. It makes life a little easier and a city feel a little less like a stranger when you know where to go to get some comfort.

As my heading suggests it is most definitely easier to breathe now. The humidity has cleared and a huge weight has been lifted from Miami’s shoulders as Hurricane Season is now officially over and the city breathes a sigh of relief. If I’m honest, a little part of me is also finding it easier to breathe and only now am I taking a little weight off my own shoulders to find success here. What will be, will be. If I struggle to earn money here at least I know I can trade in my skills the old fashioned way, it doesn’t sound so bad if I fly away from Miami a fit-spanish-speaking-yoga-stretching-raw-food-eating-event-going-dog-loving-art-collector. The only issue is trading in expertise doesn’t pay the bills.

As we begin to feel something towards this city called Miami, prepare for friends and family to visit us and enjoy the wonderful weather, I’m inhaling one deep, deep breathe right now, and…well…we’ll just have to wait and see what comes next.

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) — AIG announced Tuesday that it completed a deal wiping out $25 billion of its debt to taxpayers by selling stakes in two subsidiaries to the Federal Reserve Bank of New York.

The troubled insurer gave the New York Fed preferred shares of two of its international life insurance companies, including $16 billion of American International Assurance Co. and $9 billion of American Life Insurance Co. The deal was originally announced in March.

The deal brings the New York-based insurer’s debt to the New York Fed down to $17 billion. AIG also still owes the U.S. Treasury $44.8 billion from a separate Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP) loan, so the insurer still owes taxpayers just under $62 billion.

AIG Chief Executive Bob Benmosche said, in a press release, that the debt reduction “sends a clear message to taxpayers: AIG continues to make good on its commitment to pay the American people back.”

AIG’s (AIG, Fortune 500) stock rose more than 4% on the news in morning trading.

“The agreements further the goals of enabling AIG to fully repay the assistance that it has received from U.S. taxpayers and advancing the company’s global restructuring process,” the New York Fed said in a statement when the deal was first announced in March.

The Federal Bank of New York initially provided $85 billion worth of support to AIG in September 2008, when the company was on the brink of collapse. AIG’s government rescue plan has since been restructured three times, and its total bailout is now worth up to $182 billion.

But much of that bailout has come in the form of government asset purchases that AIG does not need to repay. In addition to the $25 billion announced on Tuesday, the government in March bought up nearly $40 billion of insurance agreements and mortgage-backed securities held by AIG and its business partners.

To pay back the remaining $62 billion it owes the government, AIG will continue to sell off its assets. Despite recording two straight profitable quarters, AIG has said it will not generate enough earnings to repay taxpayers with profits alone.

AIG said Tuesday’s transaction will force the company to take a hefty $5.7 billion restructuring charge in the current quarter, which will likely wipe out any profits AIG would have registered in the last three months of 2009.

Despite the government support, the company still faces a steep uphill battle to return to health. Shares of the insurer tumbled 15% Monday, after Bernstein Research analyst Todd Bault told investors that he cut the 12-month price target to $12 a share from $20 because the insurer’s “loss reserves are significantly deficient again, much sooner than we would have forecast two years ago.”

On Nov. 25, AIG announced that it had resolved its legal dispute with former chairman Maurice “Hank” Greenberg

In the footage, captured by DJ Zeke, roughly ten men wearing “security” and “event staff” shirts gang up and repeatedly beat the two men — who can barely defend themselves against the ruthless mob.

Cops say charges will be filed against several bouncers — and they are currently reviewing the tape to identify the men involved in the attack.

But get this — the two victims were arrested after the beatdown and charged with disorderly conduct because security told cops they had acted inappropriately inside the club.

The two men claimed they did nothing wrong inside or outside of the club. The tape seems to back their story.

A rep for the club tells TMZ: “We can’t comment on the fight. We are doing our own investigation in addition to the police investigation. It’s really in the hands of the police at this point. The 40/40 club has never had anything like this happen before and we take the safety of our patrons seriously.”

Via: TMZ.com.

*blank stare*

RTN via Derrick G

Via: Rap Radar

The city’s street gangs are becoming tweet gangs.

Manhattan’s young thugs have turned to Twitter, and the cops who track them are fast behind, the Daily News has learned.

It’s old-school crime meets new technology: attacks being plotted – and thwarted – 140 characters at a time.

One investigator recently warned parents and teens that the bastion of OMG and LOL has been infiltrated by violent crews waging turf wars.

A boy shot in the leg weeks earlier on Lenox Ave. may have been targeted because of a battle the Original Young Gangsters crew started on Twitter.

“It’s horrible,” NYPD Lt. Kevin O’Connor of Manhattan North’s gang intelligence unit told a forum in Harlem.

A basic search of the social-networking site for OYG or Jeff Mob, the gang based in the Jefferson Houses in East Harlem, yields shout-outs and throwdowns.

“I knoe bitches from oyg that would dead mob yah s–t in harlem,” one girl wrote in a series of tweets aimed at drawing out a rival for a fight.

Investigators are monitoring the traffic in hopes of sweeping up gangbangers before the bloodshed – and searching Twitter after attacks for clues.

“It is another tool … just like old phone records,” a police source said. “We can go through them [messages] to track these guys.”

Harlem pastor Vernon Williams, who runs Perfect Peace Ministry Youth Outreach, said his staff uses Twitter, MySpace and instant messaging to keep track of 4,000 at-risk teens.

A week ago, Twitter helped the volunteers stop a street war after they saw the Get Money Boys, based in the St. Nicholas Houses on W. 127 St., exchanging threats with Goodfellas and The New Dons, based just a few blocks north.

“They were threatening to go and hurt two people,” said Williams, 51, who sent staff out to find the tweeters.

An NYPD spokesman and the Manhattan district attorney’s office declined comment on the phenomenon, and Twitter did not respond to e-mails.

Gang members who grew up in the digital age are blasé about their tweeting.

One 15-year-old in the 28 Gunnaz gang said it’s just like any other “form of communication,” except that the world can listen in on the conversation.

That feature can actually fuel disputes. A heated exchange between rivals on the service can turn into a full-fledged beef when others get wind, he said.

A 15-year-old nicknamed Lil V, who belongs to The New Dons, says Twitter is useful for “settin’ up the fights” and making plans.

He seemed aware that the cops or anyone else could follow them – and said the gang takes precautions, using lingo gangsters from an earlier era wouldn’t even understand.

“We got our own page,” Lil V said. “Our page is private.”

Swiss voters appear to support a controversial ban on new minarets at mosques — sparking outrage from Islamic groups.

Partial election returns from Sunday afternoon showed that 59 % of voters backed the right-wing plan to outlaw new construction of the distinctive mosque towers, according to projections from a leading polling institute.

Polls before the election showed just 37 % support for the proposal, which was backed by the nationalist Swiss People’s Party, the country’s largest party.

A photo taken 8 October 2009 shows the controversial poster used by Switzerland’s right wing People’s Party (SVP) as part of their campaign ahead of a referendum taking place in the country 29 November 2009.

Taner Hatipoglu, president of the Federation of Islamic Organizations in Zurich, said the vote appeared to achieve “something everyone wanted to prevent” and added that if the anti-Islam sentiment continues “Muslims indeed will not feel safe anymore.”

The proposal is part of a growing anti-Islamic backlash in Europe and has stoked fears of violent reactions in Muslim countries.

Some Swiss leaders are also concerned the move could spark an economically disastrous boycott by wealthy Muslims who bank, shop and vacation in Switzerland.

In the lead-up to the election, Swiss People’s Party officials argued that minarets – which are used in most countries for calls to prayer – are symbols of rising Muslim power that could eventually turn Switzerland into an Islamic nation.

Campaign posters show minarets rising like missiles from the Swiss flag next to a fully veiled woman.

“Forced marriages and other things like cemeteries separating the pure and impure – we don’t have that in Switzerland, and we do not want to introduce it,” said Ulrich Schlueer, co-president of the Initiative Committee to ban minarets.

Before the vote, Swiss government leaders spoke out strongly against the initiative, which will not affect the four minarets already attached to mosques in the country.

Muslims make up about 6 % of Switzerland’s 7.5 million people and fewer than 13 % practice their religion, according to government estimates.

Many Swiss Muslims are refugees from the Yugoslav wars of the 1990s.

Swiss mosques do not broadcast the call to prayer outside their buildings.

So the highlight of this is Beans suggesting that Jay is trying join forces with Nas against him and Curtis. I have to give that one a CamTrueMagFace, but I suppose stranger things have happened.

Other highlights include:

- Beanie Sigel’s childhood + relationship with his father. Father showed him a burner at age 7.
- His first appearance on the Roots record back in the day.
- How he almost didn’t get his Roc-A-Fella deal because he was supposed to go to a dog fight.
- Answering prison letters..

- Beanie saying Jay-Z turned his back on the hood.. Calls out his materialistic status.. Says Jay-Z was firing shots at him on Blueprint 3.. Says Jay-Z stole some his ideas/ concepts for American Gangster.. Says Jay-Z is trying to bring Nas into the beef with him + 50 … also talks about his current situation with 50 Cent..

Link: Beanie Sigel Interview w/ DJ On & On

Props: JTS

Via: Nah Right

I spent much of the long holiday weekend in a sickly, weakened state on my couch, remote in hand, weeping at sappy movies. Honestly, between the two monsters — viral and hormonal — battling for evil dominion inside me, I was a sniffly, sobbing mess for a solid four days. Good flocking times.

And, of course, much of my weeping was prompted by music. It began on Wednesday night, with “Glee.” Much of the episode drove me bonkers, as it centered around the increasingly prominent and deeply irritating Quinn, but then there was a stunning musical piece: a deaf choir performing John Lennon’s “Imagine.”

Oh my goodness. I am probably (definitely) just a sucker, but something about the signing, as well as singing, of that song — already an emotional tune — just killed me. I’m getting teary again just typing about it.

On Thanksgiving morning, one of my local radio stations played “Alice’s Restaurant” around noontime, just as one of my local radio stations growing up had done. This made me grin, remembering countless Thanksgiving treks to my aunt and uncle’s house, with my younger siblings hollering at my parents to change the station so they didn’t have to listen to old Arlo ramble on any longer. And then this made me sad, missing my family on Thanksgiving day.

Then, over the course of the weekend, I watched quite a few holiday movies, in whole or in part, and many of them broke me right down again. I mean, I cried at Elf. Elf! Should one really cry at Will Ferrell movies? (Oh wait, I totally cried at Stranger than Fiction too.) But when Zooey Deschanel starts singing? And the crowd sings with her? And they all are filled with Christmas spirit? Oh my goodness. Waterworks.

Also I saw The Family Stone, which I have to say: possibly one of my favorite movies. I mean, come on: Dermot Mulroney! Diane Keaton! Luke Wilson! Claire Danes! Sarah Jessica Parker! Paul Schneider! Rachel McAdams! Craig T. Nelson! What is not to like? Also it has the lovely Elizabeth Reaser, who at one point watches one of my absolute favorite movies, Meet Me in St. Louis, and weeps when Judy Garland sings “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.” And who wouldn’t? Oh so sad. So there I am, weeping at a movie within a movie, getting all caught up in the Christmas spirit — or at least its maudlin stepsister — before Thanksgiving was even fully over.

Today I am, alas, back at work, and operating at about 80% of normal health. I heard nothing worth commenting on during my commute this morning — but my head is full of the weekend’s tear-inducing tunes.

Could be worse.

Chancellor Alistair Darling will say in his pre-Budget report that the economy performed worse in 2009 than he first predicted, Treasury sources have said.

Mr Darling is expected to say that the UK economy shrank by 4.75% this year – more than the 3.5% originally forecast in the Budget in March.

The adjustment follows the economy’s unexpectedly poor performance in the first three months of the year.

But he is likely to stick to 2010 forecasts of growth between 1-1.5%.

Return to growth

On Thursday, Mr Darling said that since the Budget forecasts were made, “new data has shown that most economies, ours included, suffered a severe shock in the first quarter of this year”.

He added that he still expected a return to growth around the turn of the year.

The UK economy has contracted for the past six quarters, but the economies of the US, Japan, France and Germany have all started growing again.

Recent UK economic figures, such as retail sales and manufacturing output, have indicated signs of recovery.

October’s retail sales were up 0.4% from September, according to the Office for National Statistics.

And the latest Purchasing Managers Index showed manufacturing output increased at its fastest rate for almost two years in October.

(CNN) — It was supposed to be an aggressive agenda — an agenda of change, some promised — intended to right the economy, overhaul health care and reform immigration policy.

Declaring National Pi Day and honoring Confucius’ birthday, then, might seem like odd tasks for the 111th Congress.

While lawmakers continue to wrangle over the hot-button issues expected to dominate this session’s legislative agenda, pet resolutions known as “commemoratives” have seen greater success navigating the House and Senate.

Until about 1980, commemorative legislation never topped 10 percent of all public laws. But under the 96th-103rd sessions, commemoratives averaged 30 percent of all public laws the president signed, according to the Congressional Research Service.

In 1995, after taking control of the House for the first time in 40 years, Republicans changed the rules, cracking down on bills criticized as a waste of lawmakers’ time.

“I remember the discussion — how do we get rid of some of this huge number of commemoratives?” said Ilona Nickels, a congressional analyst and lecturer who helped redraft some of the House rules. “The answer is you make it harder.”

The House established strict eligibility criteria for commemoratives and banned bills that created special days, weeks or months because they accounted for about 75 percent of the commemorative legislation.

Commemoratives are now handled as simple resolutions, meaning they don’t require approval from both chambers and or the president’s signature.

The process is different in the Senate. There are no binding rules, but the guidelines dictate that resolutions can’t commemorate commercial enterprises, products or living people.

As with any rule, though, there are always exceptions. The Senate, for example, just adopted a resolution commemorating Sen. Robert Byrd, who recently became the longest-serving senator. And in the House — where rules ban anything that “establishes or expresses a commemoration” — congressmen still introduced resolutions supporting a “National Day of the Cowboy” and “National Dairy Month.”

How? Well, instead of “commemorating” or designating a day or time period, lawmakers in the House use language like “support the ideals of” or “support the designation of.” If it’s a day they want to honor, they omit the actual day and say simply that the House has “resolved” to honor the cause.

After the House changed its rules in 1995, the number of commemoratives dropped drastically, but in the years since, the resolutions have crept back up.

“That’s most of the floor time we’ve been spending of late is on that,” said Rep. John Campbell, R-California.

This year, Congress has taken up more than 300 commemorative resolutions, according to a count using THOMAS, the Library of Congress legislative Web site.

The one that most befuddles Campbell is a resolution last month honoring Confucius 2,560th birthday, which he called “the height of silliness.”

“He’d been dead for over 2,000 years. If it was 2,500 or something — maybe. But 2,560? What the heck is that?” Campbell said.

Most commemoratives sail through Congress unanimously, but the Confucius resolution drew some friction. Forty-seven members of the House voted against it and 13, including Campbell, voted present. The reason for the opposition? “We just said, ‘Hey, this is really dumb,’ ” Campbell said.

Another contentious commemorative was a resolution congratulating the New York Yankees on their World Series win. Rep. Eliot Engel, a Democrat from the Bronx, donned a Yankees cap as a “symbol of unity,” much to the chagrin of Rep. Jason Chaffetz, R-Utah.

“While the Democrats want to talk baseball, we want to talk about health care,” Chaffetz said.

Rep. José Serrano, D-New York, jumped to his colleague’s defense.”I am positive that there is not a single American in this country, except for some in this House, who would think that what we are doing today is wrong,” he said.

Honoring birthdays and baseball titles may seem inconsequential with so much pressing business in the nation, but Norman Ornstein, a congressional historian with the American Enterprise Institute, said the sponsors are often seeking “good will.”

“It’s frankly no great surprise because it’s such an easy way to gain a little approval from people without having to spend any money. It’s very tempting to commemorate events or recognize individuals or groups. They like it; they’re honored by it. And it’s not like an earmark,” he said, referring to funding of legislators’ pet projects, often called “pork barrel” spending..

Commemoratives are also useful for nonprofits, Nickels says, because designations such as “National Autism Awareness Month” (April) can help drive fundraising initiatives.

While complaining that Congress spends too much time on commemoratives, Campbell is the first to concede that they are indeed tempting. He sponsored a resolution last summer congratulating the University of California-Irvine men’s volleyball team for winning the 2009 national championship.

“I’m as guilty as some others,” he said.

He blames peer pressure and said if you don’t secure a congressional resolution to honor such things people ask, “Why didn’t you? Everybody else did.”

This year, lawmakers in the House and Senate have sponsored dozens of resolutions to congratulate sports teams, from the Chula Vista Park View Little League team to Wichita State University’s bowling teams.

Though voters generally had loftier aspirations for their elected officials than supporting “National STD Awareness Month,” Ornstein says commemoratives are generally harmless.

“I think 99.9 percent of voters don’t know and don’t care,” he said.

The measures don’t take up much of lawmakers’ time since the staff handles most of the legwork, Ornstein said.

While some time and resources are devoted to them, Nickels notes that it is nothing inordinate. “All legislation — even the hundreds and hundreds of bills that get introduced and don’t make it to law cost some money,” she said. “I don’t think we can really single this category out.”

Ornstein said that, commemoratives aside, he believes the 111th session of Congress has been productive in its first year. He points to the stimulus bill, the expansion of the children’s health insurance program and the Lilly Ledbetter Act as examples.

“If they didn’t do it, it wouldn’t bother me one iota, but that they do do it doesn’t bother me particularly either,” he said.

If commemorative resolutions bother you, you can take it up with your senator or representative, or a member of their staff. Just wait until after Turkey Day — there’s a proposal to observe “Complaint Free Wednesday” on the day before Thanksgiving.

Lolo Soetoro, Stanley Ann Dunham Soetoro, baby Maya Soetoro, and 9 year old Barry Soetoro aka Barack Obama.

Fransiskus Assisi School in Jakarta, Indonesia, shows the registration of Barack Obama under the name Barry Soetoro, Religion as Islam, and his Nationality as Indonesian.

Tiger Woods has hit out at “unfounded rumours” circulating since his car accident in the early hours of Friday.

The golfer was found semi-conscious with facial injuries after his car reportedly hit a fire hydrant and tree.

In a statement on his website the golfer said the only person responsible for the crash in Florida “was me”.

He added: “The many false, unfounded and malicious rumours that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.”

The incident occurred in the suburb of Isleworth, an exclusive area near Orlando, at 0225 local time (0725 GMT) on Friday.

Florida police officers were told Woods’ wife Elin had used a golf club to break the car’s rear window and help him out.

Police were expected to question Woods about the incident on Sunday but the Associated Press reported that the meeting was cancelled for the third straight day.

Sgt Kim Montes of the Florida Highway Patrol said Woods’ lawyer did not reschedule the meeting.

In a statement posted online about an hour before he was due to be interviewed, Woods said: “My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.

“This incident has been stressful and very difficult for Elin, our family and me. I appreciate all the concern and well wishes that we have received.

“But, I would also ask for some understanding that my family and I deserve some privacy no matter how intrusive some people can be.”

On Sunday authorities released a recording of a 911 emergency call made by the golfer’s neighbour after the incident.

In a shaken voice, he says: “I need an ambulance immediately. I have someone down in front of my house. They hit a pole.”

Woods, who has been married for five years and has two young children, has recently been the subject of tabloid allegations about his private life.

Asked about reports the couple had been arguing in the hours leading up to the crash, the police said they were treating the incident as a traffic accident, not a domestic issue.

According to the highway patrol, alcohol was not a factor in the incident.

Chief Daniel Saylor of the Windermere Police Department said: “From what we understand, his wife came out of the house when she heard the accident, him hitting the fire hydrant, (and) used a golf club – that’s what we were told – to break out the rear window to gain entrance into the vehicle, removed him from the vehicle and laid him down in the street.

“He was in and out of consciousness with lacerations to his upper and lower lip, with a little bit of blood in his mouth, but he was conscious enough to be able to speak a little bit. According to my officers, it was not life-threatening injuries.”

In comments to the Associated Press news agency, Chief Saylor said his officers found the 33-year-old lying in the street with his wife hovering over him.

“She was frantic, upset. It was her husband laying on the ground.”

A couple weeks ago, I was helping Mrs. Fetched “take a roll of hay to the cows.” This basically means I stand at the gate with my thumb up my ass for about 20 minutes while she takes the tractor and brings the hay to the gate. I then cut the strings and pull them off the roll. I’m not the only one waiting around for the hay to arrive: as soon as the tractor fires up, the cattle come trottin’ on down to the gate and mill around (and moo a lot). Occasionally, I’ll get bored enough to moo back. Whatever.

So this particular Saturday afternoon, the cattle are milling around near the gate and above the hill. Red tries to mount Black, who stands for a second or two then walks away and turns, dropping Red back to the ground. Then they all mill around, and Black nudges up against Red, rubbing her head against Red’s flank. Typical, I thought, she doesn’t want to fuck but she wants a cuddle. This happened a couple more times, until Red finally walked away.

A few seconds later, Black comes back around and tries to mount Red! I thought that was absolutely hilarious… but then I saw that BOTH of them had udders! I about died laughing; some of the cows turned to look at the noisy human. Lordy, the one frickin’ time I don’t have my smellphone with me and something like that has to happen.

“You forgot who TIA is Ricky? smfh…”

Now that 50 Cent’s disappointing first week numbers are official, rival Rick Ross is now claiming victory in their 2009 feud.

In a recent concert for DJ Khaled’s birthday, Ross proclaimed full credit for 50 Cent’s lowest debut week (161,000) of his previously multi-platinum career.

“So we celebrating my n***a birthday, but we’re also celebrating the demise of a p***y. R.I.P. to the donkey, we buried him,” Ross stated on stage with Khaled. “It feel good, n***a. Don’t look surprised, you knew we was gonna do it. There’s only one record that can describe the feeling.”

Concluding his victory speech, Ross went into “This Is the Life,” the fourth single from his 2008 gold sophomore LP Trilla.

In January, Rick Ross began his feud with 50 Cent courtesy of “Mafia Music,” where he ridiculed the Queens’ emcee about his relationship with his child’s mother, and the controversy surrounding the fire destruction of his Fort Dix, Long Island mansion.

50 Cent retaliated with songs (“I’ll Be the Shooter”) and satirical cartoon clips (Officer Ricky Series). Also, the G Unit CEO enlisted Ross’ estranged son’s mother Tia Kemp to disparage Ross in clips and an autobiographical book.

DJ Khaled was brought into the conflict as well when the Queens mogul had entourage members film Khaled’s mother unknowingly at her job (“A Psychic Told Me”). 50 Cent would later express regret for the act, after receiving negative responses from media and fans for the viral clip’s allusions to violence.

Earlier this month, 50 and Floyd Mayweather further mocked Ross by taking pictures with his children after Kemp had brought them to the rapper’s mansion.

At press time, Rick Ross is working on his fourth album Teflon Don, set to be released in Spring 2010.

I dont blame her… I blame her parents and the tattoo artist..

I guess she can say she is now Nicki Minaj’s dumbest biggest fan now. Nicki Minaj doesn’t even have a single out and she has the teen age girls going wild.smfh…

Love him or hate him, Marc Ecko is quite the pop culture visionary. The NJ-bred fashion mogul has put his spin on popular titles like “Star Wars” and “Halo,” but apparently Ecko once had his sights on something a little more high-brow — a Macbeth video game?

According to Destructoid, Ecko, who released his first video game, the graffiti-inspired Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure, at one point had been trying to adapt a video game version of the William Shakespeare to me.

“I completely re-imagined Macbeth,” Ecko told the gaming site. However, the game never made it past the demo phase.

“Our adaptation, I think, would have made it relevant to people who wouldn’t have otherwise known about this great story. It’s unfortunate, because a lot of people just don’t know Macbeth,” Ecko added, when asked if he was worried about fan reaction.

I don’t know. We think you dodged a bullet with this one, Marc

Via: StreetLevel.com.