Applications for jobs at Manchester airport security desks have rocketed in the wake of yesterday’s news:

“NEW SCANNERS TO TAKE NAKED SHOTS OF PASSENGERS”

It will no longer be possible to sneak on board with several handguns and a cosh concealed about your person....

Passengers can refuse to be scanned if they feel uncomfortable about their outline being visible to a security guard and can instead opt to have a complete stranger’s hands all over them while they stand, legs apart, looking stupid.

This seal refused to be scanned on the grounds that he didn't want to be seen naked by the security officer

The Brits have always had an awkward relationship with nudity – the past prevalence of streaking at sports events suggests that we are easily shocked by nakedness – perhaps we should take a leaf of out of the New Zealand rugby team who play rugby starkers regularly on the beach.  However even this event is not without its streakers – police recently had to detain a teenage male who interrupted the game:

streaking is an increasing problem for police at all blacks beach rugby games.....

That’s all for now – I have a job application form to complete…..

The only sport I ever played was netball – a sport that is completely useless anywhere outside of the Commonwealth. When we moved to Russia, a country distinctly NOT in the Commonwealth, I stopped playing sports altogether. I was too busy trying not to embarrass myself with the language – there was simply no time to make a spectacle of myself in the sports arena as well. By the time I finally moved to the States full time, it seemed too late to try and figure out sports like baseball and American football. Then I met DH, and we hadn’t been dating very long before he took me to an Oregon State University baseball game. I was predisposed to enjoy the game, because I was fairly smitten with my husband-to-be. I was in deep smit, as they say.

When I married my husband, I married into a family of baseball fans. DH grew up playing baseball and his family had been watching the Chicago Cubs play on WGN with the commentary of Harry Caray for many years. Before I met DH, the only thing I knew about Harry Caray was that Will Ferrell parodied him on SNL. DH has been educating me slowly but surely, though,  and I’m starting to be able to use terms like “pop-up,” “double play,” and “butt-ugly, fat streaker.”

This last weekend, we finally made it up to Chicago to see a Cubs game. We have visited Wrigley Field before, but this was our first time in Wrigleyville on a game day.

Our seats were in what we like to call the “nosebleed” section, which isn’t actually that bad in Wrigley. After lunch, we went early into the stadium to make sure we had enough time to get up there, since it was quite a hike:

I don’t have much experience with ball parks, but I love Wrigley Field. The weather was perfect on Sunday (although it was a little chilly being seated so high), and we had a nice view of the sailing boats on Lake Michigan.

During the course of the game (we were playing the New York METS), I learned many things. For example, I learned the difference between the National and the American League:

I also learned that Fukudome is not, in fact, a vulgar term, but rather the name of a player on the team. I wondered why so many nice-looking people were wearing jerseys with “Fukudome” printed in large letters. I guess they weren’t all jerks after all. I also learned that during the Seventh Inning Stretch, everyone stands up to sing a baseball song. IT’S SO CUTE! AND FUN!

It wasn’t the best of games for the Cubs, especially considering that they lost. However, I’m told that this is good preparation for the many times in the future when the Cubs will disappoint me. Personally, I thought they did great. I mean, how many people in the world can pitch like this?:

Or this?:

I’m too much of a girl to ever get seriously into sports. I just wanted to tell these guys that they were doing a great job. I wasn’t interested in being frustrated with their mistakes. So apparently it IS  a good thing that I’m now a Cubs fan. During the fourth inning, we took a jaunt around the stadium. Here’s a view from the other side:

I loved how jovial all the fans were even when they had to admit that it was a lousy game. Part of the joviality may have been due to the amount of  beer everyone was drinking, but from what I saw of the game, it was a necessary recourse. Anyway, it was a fun experience, and hopefully one that we’ll be able to repeat in the future.

In closing, here’s how it was done back in Harry Caray’s day:

Sakura solid markers. Permanent, waterproof markers which have a crayon look to them. These are also referred to as “streakers” due to a similar item called “Mean Streaks” made by Sanford. Sakura solid markers are just a little softer, don’t smell as bad and come in many more colors. Imported from Japan. Now available in store. 

stolen train face, originally uploaded by sizzled.

wow. look at this guy, huh? he’s so grumpy. why are you so grumpy, dude? pretty sure your whole life involves travel across a continent via freight train, it could be worse.

sidebar: cottage country aka area code 705 stand up!

“Goodbye, Crackernight”, a comic memoir of growing up in 1970s Australia, will be published in September ‘09 through Sid Harta Publishing.  Please click on the above Comments link to view some of the really excellent response we’ve had to the book excerpts. And please feel free to leave your own!

STOP PRESS! FIRST TWO REVIEWS OF BOOK JUST RECEIVED! (See most recent comments!)

Look, I’m the last person to advocate SWAT teams on every street corner. In my view, if someone wants to hurt people, he can. That’s one of the perils of living in a free society. We can’t protect ourselves from every lone nut. That means that even if every American carried a gun, there would still be school shootings. And even if we tortured every prisoner we caught, there would still be terrorism. Personally, I think the risks of living in a free country are worth it.

That doesn’t mean I advocate lawlessness. Where reasonable precautions can be taken, they should be. I blogged about these same issues 12 months ago, when the Turks and Cypriots were fighting during Marcos Bahgdatis matches. The fans were pepper sprayed and ejected.

Why is this happening Down Under?

Let’s examine the evidence.

1. Australia has big communities of Greeks, Cypriots, Turks, Bosnians and Serbs. Their countries of origin have longstanding, serious problems with each other.

2. See incident at last year’s Open. Angry Turks demanded that Marcos be thrown out of the tournament because he happened to appear in a Cypriot-nationalist video. Then there was a riot and people had to be subdued with pepper spray.

3. There were two serious incidents at this year’s AO between warring Croats, Serbs and Bosnians. Again, people ejected, people interrupting matches.

4. Although the tournament was smart enough to put the Delic-Joker match on the stadium court, where the fans were physically separated, they were still able to congregate in the park inside the tournament grounds.

5. The Bosnians, Serbs and Croats were all hanging around watching the match on the jumbotron, drunk and disorderly. Why wasn’t there security hanging around? I mean there was a fight earlier that week in the same place.

6. One day later a streaker made it onto the court during the Williams sisters doubles match. Again, how is it that in this era, someone can get onto the court? A streaker is harmless. But what about a deranged fan? Or worse- a deranged tennis parent?

As you can see, I would love to cross-examine the tournament director on their security plan.

From the AP: The Williams sisters were en route to a 6-3, 6-3 victory over Japan’s Ayumi Morita and Germany’s Martina Muller when the man, wearing only a shirt, sprinted across the sidelines and made several dance moves before heading toward an exit.

Day 5 was also marked by Ana Ivanovic’s loss in women’s singles and an all-out brawl (involving flying chairs, apparently) amongst spectators at the Nole/Amer Delic match.

Yawn: The watermark is covering his ding dong, but still, NSFW.

(image by Getty Images)

UNC-Chapel Hill may be one of the best public universities in the nation, but that doesn’t mean we don’t know how to have a little bit of fun, especially when it comes to exam time.

Just hang out in the Undergraduate Library during exam week and you’ll see what I mean. First, there is the tradition of the UL streakers. These brave guys and gals streak through the lobby of the library at midnight on the night of the exams, just to break up the monotony of studying. Keep things interesting.

Well it seems like this year there is a new study time tradition: the UL Rave Party.

This flash mob took over the UL lobby at midnight on December 8, right in the middle of exam week. Just to break up the monotony. I think I like this tradition more than the streakers. It’s more inclusive. And I don’t have to take my pants off to participate. Unless I really want to.

And let me just add that I love that our student body knows the words to our alma mater, “Hark the Sound,” and the fight song and will sing it at random times. That’s school spirit people.

Remember the streaking craze of the 1970s?  Streakers made national (and sometimes international) headlines, running naked in front of crowds on college campuses, at baseball games, the Olympics and even the Academy Awards (a classic moment in Oscar history was presenter David Niven’s quick-witted response).  Generally they did it for a goof.

Ah, the good old days.

On Saturday, the 21st century version passed through Denver.  A passel of naked bicyclists, ostensibly protesting high gas prices, dependence on foreign oil and/or global warming, left Benedict Park at 9:00 PM and took a spin around downtown. The cyclists tipped off the media in advance but didn’t disclose their specific route. 

If the cyclists’ goal was to generate a lot of public attention, they failed miserably.  There was a little pickup from the local broadcast affiliates, and I’d imagine a little local newspaper coverage (although to save my life I couldn’t find any when I looked). 

Check out this YouTube video (although I warn you, it’s pretty boring) and you can get an idea of what went wrong, PR-wise.

For starters:

• They appeared disorganized.  They called themselves the Naked Bikers but didn’t take every opportunity to promote themselves by name.  They didn’t have a cohesive message of protest.
• Many weren’t really naked.  Some wore shorts, backpacks and other accoutrements (some strategically placed, others not really). Now don’t get me wrong – I can only imagine how uncomfortable it would be to ride a bike naked, but if you’re billing yourselves as the Naked Bikers, you’ve got to deliver the goods. Anyone not willing to go the Full Monty should have been “uninvited” to participate. 
• They rode in the dark.  Why didn’t they ride in broad daylight?  During lunch hour?  What did they have to hide?!!
• They didn’t seem to employ any guerrilla tactics. There’s so much you can do these days with social media, flash mobs and the like to further your story and your cause. 
• They seemed too respectful.  Nobody wants real trouble, but isn’t the whole idea of this type of protest and civil disobedience to not worry about getting arrested?  Maybe the Naked Bikers weren’t concerned about it, but it doesn’t come off that way.

It’s tough enough these days to break through the clutter. Call it a PR stunt or taking a stand on an issue, the best of them require good strategy and organization, focus, a diversity of tactics and follow-through.

Then again, maybe the Naked Bikers just wanted to get together with like-minded folk and enjoy a leisurely evening ride through Denver.

Nah.

Have you ever noticed that? Security always seems to be thinking, “That naked man might try to kill our best player while he is running around naked. I better clothesline that fool.” I think they handle streakers better in Europe. If you are at any type of sporting event you probably have a 50/50 chance of seeing someone storm the field in their birthday suit. They usually chase after the streaker, but the streaker is either extremely fast or the security guards are fat and slow.

Sometimes you see actual Police on the field running, but most of the time it’s security officers. Yes, the same guys who drive around in fake cop cars making $9.25 an hour. If you were getting paid that much would you do a full sprint and crush a naked dude standing in the middle of a baseball diamond? Those guys don’t have benefits or health insurance! These rent-a-cop security guards are a special breed indeed.

A hundred naked members of the Alpha Phi Omega (APO) fraternity had their Oblation Run early this year. It is an event started in 1977 and is normally held in December. However, this year was different……June 18, 2008 marked the 100th birthday of the University of the Philippines (UP) and the APO, at the request of the university’s centennial committee, made sure that their presence would be felt and seen in a big way.

“This is our fraternity’s way of honoring UP on its centennial,” said APO member Menggie Cobarrubias.

Cobarrubias, who joined APO in 1970, said the hardest part in organizing the Centennial Run was getting 100 frat men to participate in the activity. They had to invite other APO frat men from different campuses to make up their numbers. But they did muster 100 members, the largest number of naked runners ever, for the event.

The naked runners wore golden masks and wrapped shirts around their heads to hide their identities. The 1 km run (about 1/2 mile) started shortly after 11:00am and took them from Vinzon’s Hall to the Palma Hall and finally to the Quezon Hall, where the iconic UP Oblation statue stands. It was this statue that inspired the fraternity’s 31-year-old tradition of the naked run. Along the way they stopped to pose for photos and offered roses to scores of giggling female students.

Below is a clip from the 2008 Oblation Run, but as a word of caution, it contains full frontal male nudity.

done

The Oblation, according to Wikipedia, “is the iconic symbol of the University of the Philippines, represented by a man with arms wide-stretched and face facing up, symbolizing selfless offering of one’s self to his country.”

President Rafael Palma commissioned Professor Guillermo E. Tolentino with the help of Anastacio T. Caedo, his student apprentice to make the sculpture. It was to be based on the second verse of Jose Rizal’s Mi Ultimo Adios:

In fields of battle, deliriously fighting,
Others give you their lives, without doubt, without regret;
Where there’s cypress, laurel or lily,
On a plank or open field, in combat or cruel martyrdom,
If the home or country asks, it’s all the same–it matters not.

The concrete sculpture painted to look like bronze, measures 3.5 meters in height, symbolizing the 350 years of Spanish rule in the Philippines. Tolentino describes the Oblation as:

The completely nude figure of a young man with outstretched arms and open hands, with tilted head, closed eyes and parted lips murmuring a prayer, with breast forward in the act of offering himself, is my interpretation of that sublime stanza. It symbolizes all the unknown heroes who fell during the night…..

The original statue, dedicated on March 1939, was completely naked, but in order to satisfy the morality of the time, was changed to include a fig leaf to cover the genitals.

The annual Oblation run was started in 1977 as a protest against the banning of the play, ‘Hubad na Bayani’ (Naked Hero); a political satire on the late President Ferdinand Marcos’ dictatorial rule. The APO said that more than a form of protest, their running bare-naked was more like a reminder to the UP students of the symbolism of the Oblation statue – a selfless offering of the Filipinos to their country.

This year the Oblation run was such a hit among students, faculty members and other spectators that it easily surpassed the other day-long activities scheduled for the university’s 100th Birthday Day. The 2,000-strong crowd began gathering about three hours before the scheduled start of the run in front of Vinzons Hall from where the “streakers” were expected to start.

The mostly female crowd was not to be disappointed. As the runners started to come out the girls  screamed and trained their digital cameras, video cameras and mobile phone cameras on the young men who posed for pictures and handed out red roses to some of them in the crowd.

“I’ll keep this as a good remembrance of my experience here,” said a Caucasian woman holding a rose. “I never expected it would be this exciting,” she added.

As the runners made their way to the Oblation statue in front of Quezon Hall, other APO members served as marshals, protecting the runners from the enthusiastic crowd. Even some elderly women in the crowd gleefully cheered on the barefooted runners.

“It has been quite a while since I saw something like this,” a 55-year-old woman said with a laugh.

It’s time to revive this puppy.  It’s been too long!  I’m really getting back into trying to post, if not every day, multiple times a week.  The push is definitely going to be for every day, however.

Alright, the point behind TWIRCL (I think you can get the acronym) is to highlight how meddlesome our legislature can get.  Now, I’m not really a libertarian.  I don’t believe in a completely limited government, or a free to be you, free to be me ethos.  I think that leaves a lot of people acting like assholes, and more than a few people left behind without certain forms of government assistance (schools, healthcare, uhh…sanitation?).  So, I’m not some drug war opponent or militia sympathizer thinking that all criminal laws are impositions on our free will.

However, I think a lot of what the legislature does is kneejerk law passing meant to mollify the public outcry of a recent shocking headline, or just to show that they’re tough on crime.  Or, it’s because the legislature just thinks that certain types of acts, already criminal, need a special tweak for punishment.  Or are afraid that the existing criminal laws don’t cover the potential criminal act.

The point behind any criminal justice system is that it should be simple, clean, and easy to navigate.  When you build in redundancies or try to make certain (already punishable acts) just more stringent because of a recent event, you aren’t being reflective, just reactive.

Which brings us to Criminal Trespass to a Place of Public Amusement.  Streakers!  Seriously, this is a crime meant solely for streakers.  Or party crashers of some sort. Trespass is going where you’re not supposed to (and you know so).  But this is a trespass crime for only certain areas.  Those areas include: athletic surfaces, stages, locker rooms, dressing rooms, or other places located at a place of public amusement.

CTTAPPA (this week’s ridiculous law…aww, you get the acronym) is a Class 4 felony.  For streaking!  With a fine not less than $1,000 and not less than 30 but no more than 120 hours of community service!  When normal trespass is a misdemeanor (and all those penalties could be applied within the discretion of the judge) this is just making something a felony for no (really good) reason.

So groupies, streakers, stage divers and jersey chasers look out!  You have a law specifically aimed at you! And if you aren’t careful, or forget to wear running shoes when taking the field to go yell at Bobby Howry (remember that last year?  Hilarious!), you might be charged with this week’s ridiculous criminal law!

Every now and then, games of cricket get interrupted. Sometimes it’s for rain (a thrilling link, that one), sometimes it’s for (yawn) bad light, and just occasionally, it’s for something a bit more interesting.

Of course, there are streakers, which have been well documented elsewhere. Andrew Symonds obviously doesn’t find them as entertaining as most people do.

As well as human pitch invaders, players have to deal with canine, and even apoidean intruders (is attendance at ODIs the real cause of CCD?). It’s a tough life.

“If life gives you lemons, I say fuck the lemons and bail.” That is a sweet line from the movie “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.” If you don’t trust our opinion, believe the fine reviewers over at Rotten Tomatoes. Plus, Mila Kunis gets laid in the film, hence the picture. Sorry we have been away for a little, some lemons got thrust our way, but fuck it, we are back. Posts about mlb, college baseball, music, and who knows what else coming your way. For now, link it up…

 For the 1 year anniversary of his blog, Greg Oden <3 China, and yes that is an emoticon.

The “Lost” season finale is two days of work away, here is a Q&A with Desmond to get you through the day, brotha.

If that doesn’t work, get lost here, literally.

What are obscure foreign roleplayers good for? Funny videos of course.

US football streakers look like this, but Italian futbol streakers look like this. That is some sh*t.

Wait, there is a new G.I. Joe movie? And Sienna Miller is in it? Saaawwweeet.

Flickr photo by Navid.73.

Dear Reader,

As you know, since 1995, Anzac Day has been set aside for a titanic clash between two super clubs – Essendon and Collingwood.

It’s a nice idea, to sanctify our most sacred secular day with that most sacred secular activity – football.

Sadly, yesterday, Essendon got to play the role of the Anzacs coming ashore at Gallipoli under withering gunfire.

The new coach, Matthew Knights, is it?, sent them onto the field with this apparent game plan: attack!

Much like the game plan the Anzacs got at Gallipoli.

And, much like a notable deficiency in the game plan of the Anzacs at Gallipoli, he forgot to give them something to do in defence.

Now, if you’re starting to feel that this post is about as interesting, dear Reader, as all those posts that we read from our American cousins about Obama and Hillary, i can assure you that you only have a paragraph or two to endure before i start talking about RAMPANT FEMALE NUDITY. So try to hang in there.

The performance (pronounced: preformance) of Essendon was so terrible that the commentators were starting to suggest that maybe they no longer deserved a place at the Anzac Day match. Maybe it should be a match that teams have to qualify for, based on their previous season’s home-and-away stats.

Not a bad idea, dear Reader.

The one highlight of the afternoon was the unveiling of the newest Footy Legends ad, this time immortalising Bruce Doull, his headband, and his fifteen seconds of fame with the delightfully naked Helen D’Amico.

Now, dear Reader, few teenage males alive at the time and fortunate enough to be living in Melbourne are likely to have been able to forget Ms D’Amico and her stunning appearance in the 1982 VFL Grand Final, despite the passage of more than a generation of years.

Ms D’Amico was suddenly on camera, wearing only a Carlton scarf, and proceeding across the hallowed MCG turf in a manner that was either a dance, or the result of one too many VBs.

A stripper by profession, Ms D’Amico was suitably proportioned and prepared for the inaugural role as footy’s first female streaker, and she cavorted about in a suitably impressive way until someone put a cardigan on her, arranged the tassels of her Carlton scarf over her nethers in a very attractive way, and escorted her from the field.

She had run up to Bruce Doull as her on-field trick. Every streaker needs an on-field trick. You can’t just run about, you have to have a target. Doull was hers. She says she chose him because he was the oldest on the ground, and so she felt she was safest with him.

It’s not clear, dear Reader, what she was expecting the younger players to do with her, in front of a hundred thousand fans.

It had been quite a feisty contest, though, and maybe she was fearing a solid hip-and-shouldering.

Ms D’Amico more-or-less disappeared from our viewscreens for a long time, but now she has been rediscovered, studying at Darwin University. She is a mum, and she is, it would seem, very happy with her life, post-stripping, and post-streaking.

Good work, Ms D’Amico. I wish you well.

Sadly, there is no record of Ms D’Amico’s performance (pronounced preformance) available on YouTube. This seems to be a dreadful oversight, and one that someone must put right!

And so i leave you, dear Reader, with visions of naked female footy fans running about dressed only in club scarves. Make of that what you will.

Yours,
Gullybogan

Well what can I say, it’s been over 2 weeks but since I got the pics I thought
what the hell, might as well Post em here.

Specially since I took the troube of taking a few of the fights at the big match.
Fights? you say.. ofcourse what is a Big Match with a few fights (on all 3 days)?

Thankfully I was observing and clicking a way from a healthy distance unlike
a certain unfortunate individual we happened to know.

Here are some stewards eagerly awaiting the break to run on to the Ground. We were getting high… observing the surroundings.. singing bailas and bawdys songs.. (minus a papare).. Although we (Royal)
couldn’t win the match at that point.. we definitely outplayed them dispite beinglosing 5 quick wickets on Day 1.
Everything seemed brilliant..

till it got gloomy..

and the heavens decided to look down upon the Saints.. and release a down pour.. the covers had to be brought on..

and thankfully so.. coz not only did it have to protect the pitch from the rain.. but from kids who wanted to slide on the covers.. when I meant kids.. there were two types.. the actual kids and grownups who were acting like kids..

unfortunately these policeman missed all the action.. and were left staring at the crowd running a mock.. and the odd streaker.. yes streaker.. at our very own SSC in Sri Lanka!

the score board was found no of no use, and was soon forgotten once the pouring started. if you look carefully to the right of the pic you should be able to see what was left of a streaker who decided to slide/slip in the mud.. now that would have been painful ppl are either putting him down or assisting him get up..

before all this rain dance… while the sun was shining there were other activities to keep your self entertained.. the most popular would be to get drunk.. a close second would be to pull a fight once drunk.. it all started like this..

then the crowd got bigger.. and what started with one man.. ends up with 20 chaps trampling 1 guy.. but still hilarious none the less (except for the guy who’s been trampled)

once there is a big enough commotion the men in uniform (not school obviously) are notified.. and dive into action..

in another part of the ground another fight was brewing.. what caught my eye was that.. at the Roy/Tho even the handicapped are given an equal chance.. and no discremenation was/is allowed.

all in all I had a blast… coz I was already high by the time it started pouring so.. it was just a matter of maintaining.. ;-)

Er du singel? Hender det du finner bloggingen din meningsløs? Fortvil ikke, mirakler kan skje, bare sjekk her:

Streakers Love Story

The U.S. bumbled around in three group stage games, only managing three goals (two on penalty kicks) and generally looked bad. This being CONCACAF, though, we still won the group. Oh well could’ve been worse. Ask Mexico.

The boys didn’t look sharp or confident. They sure didn’t look organized. You have to wonder what Coach Peter Nowak is thinking playing the 4-5-1. A lot of us were hoping for the 4-3-3, but Jozy Altidore found himself stranded alone far too often. A 4-4-2 with Freddy Adu at attacking midfield would be nice too; unfortunately Nowak just had so many guys out of position and there was so much bad passing, we just weren’t going to see any sexy football.

Speaking of which, the highlight of the group stage for the U.S. was clearly the pseudo-streaker. What–you didn’t see? Check her out after the bump…

As Keith Olbermann was heard to say on this incident, “Notice how they always pan away when a dude does this, but in this case the cameras stayed on her the whole time…”

I just want to add, USA!!! USA!!! USA!!!

The other notable news out of this round was the defection of seven Cuban players and one assistant coach in two days. Good for those guys. Every time the Cubans come to the States for a tourney they go home a few players light. Hopefully a few of them catch on in MLS or USL1.

Did we mention Mexico is out? Yeah, it was a strange situation. Guatemala had already qualified for the final round after their second game and probably wanted to avoid the U.S. in the next game, so they “rested their starters” against Canada. The Canucks proceeded to score five goals. Which meant in their final game Mexico needed to score six goals against Haiti to pass them on goal differential. Here’s those crazy-ass highlights:

I think the Chicago Fire should sign that Haitian goalie right now…

So here we are. Tomorrow, 3/20, it’s USA v. Canada for the trip to Beijing, 8:00 pm CST in Nashville. The winner will then face the winner of Guatemala-Honduras for U23 bragging rights (as the two top teams will have already qualified for the Olympics). So yeah, I’ll have US Soccer on the TV and my laptop tuned to the NCAAs, and hoping we wake up versus the Canuckleheads.

Jonathan Spector has joined the team from West Ham, where he’s been playing well. Altidore, Adu, and Edu should be well-rested, and the rest of the guys should at least be more used to Nowak’s tactics. So let’s see something on the field now, boys…