streets-ahead « WordPress.com Tag Feed

On Not Writing Chapter One

Greg Chatham — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 09:41:31 +0000

If things have been a little quiet this week, you can blame National Native American Heritage Month, a holiday I take very seriously here on this sacred Indian burial site I’ve paved over to make room for my book and television reviews. As part of NaNaAmHeMo, I’m giving up precious time that could be spent playing Batman: Arkham City every day to begin writing the Great American Supernatural Urban Romance Novel For Men (or Grammar VampRo NoHomo, as the kids on the forums abbreviate it). This means that instead of dedicating myself to incrementally increasing my gamer score so that future generations may recognize my Superior Achievement In Collecting Riddler Trophies, I’m personally obligated– nay, morally compelled to start my first non-therapist mandated fictionalized project since the ill-fated Lost[1] Novella of 2003.

Over the course of the month, I may take some space on this site to reflect on my writing process. How many Sweet Tarts and Bottle Caps are appropriate to eat immediately after breakfast? Is there a more awkward way to describe people getting into, out of, and walking around cars than I’ve come up with so far? Maybe James Patterson was on to something with his three-page chapters thing. Maybe James Patterson is playing Batman: Arkham City right now. And so on. But for the most part, I intend to keep reviewing things only slightly abated as I adjust to the demands foisted upon me by the reading public. Unlike George RR Martin, I am your bitch, and I’ll have a novel ready for you as soon as I can get past this crippling existential fear of my own insignificance.

Coincidentally, my associate Kent Conrad, who you may know from the Blogroll link on the right, is also starting a new novel this month. If my review content is a little light during the week, I urge interested parties to check out his much more mercenary approach to crafting a work of fiction on his writing blog.

[1] To clarify, it was not a “Lost” novella. It’s also technically readily available, but you’d have to move the crate with all the Halloween costumes in it off of my writing trunk. It is a fictionalized account of my own life as a Mary Sue, though.

Fall 11' Lookbook

uandmeeaccessories — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 05:48:03 +0000

1. Neon Hippie is UandMee’s private label brand. Shop skull necklaces here.

2. Neon Hippie white druzy geode rings here.

3. Streets Ahead bracelets here.

4. Candance Ang here

The Streets Ahead

Greg Chatham — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 19:57:28 +0000

Got a bit off track this week. I’ve been very good the last three months about only reading one book at a time. But I got so excited about all my recent purchases, and so frustrated with The Blade Itself, that I didn’t finish anything this week. Expect a full assessment of the following titles in the coming month:

The Blade Itself by Joe Abercombie – A fantasy series with more characters exclaiming, extorting, and ejaculating than an 8-hour bukkake gangbang compilation.
Borerlands edited by Gearbox Software LLC – An innovative science fiction parable told entirely in second-person, where the reader is the character in a charming, post-apocalyptic wasteland. “I” have spent over 22 hours so far exploring the realm of Pandora and managing an economy built entirely on guns and bullets, and though the initial charm is wearing off, I don’t intend to stop until I complete all the downloadable appendices.
Introduction to Paralegal Studies by Katherine Currier and Thomas E. Eimermann – A dry, professional legal thriller with chapters built around archaic logic puzzles, each one leaving the reader to ponder the correct solution and question its moral validity.
Puntos de partida 8 edited by Marty Knorre, Thalia Dorwick, Ana M. Perez-Girones, William R. Glass, and Hildebrando Villarreal – A shared-world anthology sequel to Bangkok 8, set in the equally exotic world of Spanish.

The Bentley Little

Greg Chatham — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 00:58:23 +0000

I was going to read two Bentley Little novels in a row this week. I got through most of The Disappearance and put it back on the shelf. It followed the author’s checklist perfectly:

“Mysterious people show up and do things?” Check.

“Characters in positions of authority ignore the protagonists because otherwise the book wouldn’t be 400 pages long?” Done. (See also, “Do the phones work?” or “Does all evidence of wrongdoing suddenly, impossibly disappear?”)

“Asian woman assaulted?” Done and done. I’ve always wondered how is wife feels about this.

“Goofy names?” The most interesting thing in the book is that there’s a character named Dror. If you look up “dror names” on Google, it asks if you meant “drow names”. That takes you to a drow name generator on Angelfire. Yes, it’s in red text on an unreadable granite background.

“Some sort of uncomfortable sexual focus?” More disturbing than the cult leader’s plot to continue his lineage by kidnapping the main character’s girlfriend is the protagonist’s own imagination. At one point, contemplating her titular disappearance, he thinks, “She could have been raped hundreds of times by now.”

At one point, the a character wakes up, sees all his friends dead, then wakes up for real.

Little’s been playing with the same ideas for while, and I was hoping he’d have some new tricks by now. Maybe finally go meta on himself. That doesn’t appear to have happened yet, but I’ll give him credit, not many people would write a book about being kidnapped at Burning Man by evil Amish Californians who are completely disconnected from society yet have the power to delete your Facebook profile.

So instead of horror novels, I went back to something geeky– Young Adult Romance! Expect a review for the following sometime this week, assuming I don’t disappear off the Internet:

Geektastic edited by Holly Black and Cecil Castelluci

The Art Is Good, I Liked It

Greg Chatham — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 08:36:23 +0000

To start off September, I trade paranormal powers for super powers, and wallow in the self-indulgent angst of how hard it is to have special abilities. All this easy access to post-modern superhero stories, it’s not a gift, it’s a curse!

New X-Men (issues 114-154) by Grant Morrison
Wild Cards (aka Wild Cards I) edited by George RR Martin

The Best Plans Get Laid

Greg Chatham — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 01:28:10 +0000

Turns out that if I take people up on their invitations rather than sit by myself in hotel rooms, I don’t get a lot of reading done while traveling. I even spent time outside, where I switched places with my doppelganger in Chicago and discovered that Virginia has replaced the state tree with an orange construction barrel.

Even when trapped 10,000 feet up in the air, the books I brought proved no match for airplane-induced lethargy. It was never my intention to use this site to write about books I couldn’t bring myself to finish, but after almost walking out of two movies this week as well, it might be interesting for me to write up a list of deal-breakers. Both The Big Bachi and Book Girl and the Suicidal Mime had intriguing titles, but it was apparent early on that I would only be finishing them out of a sense of obligation. So I put them aside and skipped right into The Demon and the City.

Barring California catastrophes, a review should be up by Monday.

Bender Pending and The Pants of Traveling Books

Greg Chatham — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 08:17:27 +0000

With the goal of making myself sterile and finishing Crashed, I spent a lot of time with my MacBook on my lap this weekend. Prolonged full frontal contact with a laptop will make me sterile, right? If not, at least it brought up traffic on my webcam site for a couple days.

The review for Crashed will be posted by Wednesday. After that, I’ll be spending a lot of time in airports and suffering from insomnia in strange bedrooms across the country. With that in mind, I’m about to take part in my favorite part of trip preparation– planning what books to read when there’s no one but me and the dogs awake.

I’ve already picked up a few short story collections for my Kindle app, so now I’m browsing my bookshelves for things I have yet to read. I have a terrible record of finishing hard sci-fi on the road, so China Mieville, Iain M. Banks, and Gregory Benford will have to wait a little longer. Reviews for the following may not be up until I get back, but here’s what I’m thinking of bringing with me:

Summer of the Big Bachi by Naomi Hirahara
Book Girl and the Suicidal Mime by Mizuki Nomura
The Demon and the City by Liz Williams

E-book Speed Reading and Kindle Achievements

Greg Chatham — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 16:59:29 +0000

I need a speed reading app.

Although I love the options e-publishing makes available for authors, and that between e-books and podcasts I could easily lock myself away from annoyances like human beings and sunlight forever as long as I had a stable wifi connection, I’m discovering that it’s difficult for me to finish reading a book on a computer screen.

I know it’s not the quality of the books I’m purchasing. The first e-book I bought, Dead Furst by Kent Conrad, was an excellent showing by a first-time author. Dead Furst is a ghost story, and unlike a lot of other books in the exploding paranormal mystery genre, an actual private detective story. Its Los Angeles locations feel lived in. Even the fabricated ones. But it took me a terribly long time to read on my iPod Touch. Obviously, the screen size was frustrating. But even more maddening was not being able to physically flip back through the pages when I needed to refresh my memory on previous events.

(Full disclosure, Kent Conrad is a close friend and former co-worker of mine. In the interest of objectivity, I’ve phrased my opinion here so it could easily be taken out context: “Dead Furst…took me a terribly long time to read”–Greg Chatham, close friend and former co-worker.)

By the time I downloaded Timothy Hallinan’s Crashed I was unemployed and therefore felt justified in upgrading from an iPod to a MacBook Pro. Not having to squint at the screen certainly made the reading experience more pleasant, but it also meant I didn’t feel comfortable reading in bed. And I noticed that instead of a page count, there’s a percentage at the bottom of the Kindle window. So although I’m thoroughly enjoying the book so far, my progress feels incredibly slow. All my life, I’ve been able to open a book and think, “I’m going to read 50 pages tonight.” It feels like less of an accomplishment when instead I realize I’ve only read 4%.

So until I learn to speed read e-books, or the Kindle app provides an accurate estimate of how many actual pieces of paper a story would take up, I doubt I’ll be burning through them at the same rate as print novels any time soon. Unless maybe Amazon teams up with Microsoft or Steam to create some sort of incentive system.

Hmm. That’s not a bad idea.

“Greg Chatham, you’ve unlocked the ‘Grammer Nazie’ badge by highlighting 30 typos in less than 30 days. Kent Conrad has highlighted 38. Buy more Amazon e-books to find more typos and beat Kent Conrad’s score by the end of the month to earn Amazon reward points!”

Creature Creep and an Introduction to Bending

Greg Chatham — Sun, 07 Aug 2011 17:20:36 +0000

Things slow down this week as I ponder the existential questions that have haunted mankind since vampires, witches, and werewolves left the horror ghetto and sought out sex with Mary Sues in the fantasy section. Then, I review a novel where the “mystery” descriptor isn’t a misnomer.

Kitty’s Big Trouble by Carrie Vaughn
Crashed by Timothy Hallinan

Is there a better term for books about vampires, witches, and werewolves than “supernatural mystery/romance” or “contemporary/urban fantasy”? One of my favorite bookstores, Small World Books in Venice Beach, has a rather large section simply labeled “Vampire Lit.” It gets the job done without any pretension.

George RR Martin and the No Ubume Summer

Greg Chatham — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 03:23:45 +0000

It’s late and I’m tired, but the site now has a name and an About page. If you stumbled upon this early, expect things to change any time I’m on the Internet throughout the week. I’ll also be posting the following old reviews, previously hidden in the comments of my Facebook page, and a brand new one before the end of the week.

A Feast for Crows by George RR Martin
The Summer of the Ubume by Natsuhiko Kyogoku
A Dance With Dragons by George RR Martin
The Five by Robert McCammon

Opposition stifle supermarkets debate at Council meeting

marymears — Sun, 27 Mar 2011 20:49:49 +0000

At Thursday’s Full Council meeting, opposition Green and Labour councillors voted to curtail my speech during a debate on the growing impact of multinational retailers in Brighton & Hove – an issue of great importance to the City.

The sponsor of the petition – a Labour candidate – was criticising us for not doing enough to address the problem. However, when I listed all the actions that the Council and the Government were doing the opposition clearly didn’t like it!

The opposition green and labour groups are always accusing my Administration of not being open and transparent but if this is how they behave, I would hate to think what they would be like if they ever took control of the Council.

There was a similar situation at the recent Budget Council meeting when the Convenor of the Green Group responded to the amendments which my Group had put forward. He said that he liked our amendment but couldn’t support it because it was being put forward by Tories – who he has previously described as ‘doing the devils work’.

I think it is about time that they stopped being so childish. We were having an important debate about a huge issue in this City – you would think that they might want to hear what the Leader of the Council had to say! For information and clarity, here is the full text of my speech:

I’m very pleased to be able to respond to this petition on behalf of the Administration as this is a cause which I am very committed to.

I would just like to say at the outset that although I clearly support the sentiments behind it, I am slightly disappointed in the wording of the petition. This campaign is not just about keeping Brighton unique. It is the City of Brighton & Hove and the same issues apply across the whole City – and that also includes Portslade.

But I would just like to outline some of the work that this Administration has been doing on this issue for some considerable time now.

We all know that one of the main reasons that so many visitors and shoppers come to Brighton & Hove is because of its diverse and interesting range of shops and facilities. Brighton & Hove is most definitely not a ‘clone town’ and we must keep it that way.

There are currently 56 major supermarket stores in the City and whilst, clearly there is a significant demand amongst residents for the services they offer, I feel we are rapidly approaching saturation point.

This has incredibly serious implications, not only to the individual retailers and traders themselves, but also to the wider economy of the City as a whole.

Mr Mayor there is both a national and a local angle to this. I have been consistently lobbying central Government about giving councils greater powers to determine the best mix of retail in their areas because I genuinely believe that we are better placed than the civil servants in Whitehall to assess this.

For example, under current legislation, we are not allowed to prevent a supermarket moving into an existing shop, regardless of whether or not the local community want it there. Exactly the situation which is happening with the Taj now in St. James Street. I believe that this needs to change.

So I was very pleased to see last week in a response to a question in Parliament by Simon Kirby MP that the Government is going to be reviewing the whole planning framework around this in the Summer. And we will certainly keep up our lobbying to ensure that Brighton & Hove’s concerns are taken into account during this process.

I’m also pleased to see that the Government announced last week that it is going to publish a Bill in May which will pave the way for the establishment of a new ‘Supermarkets Ombudsman’ which was the main recommendation of the recent Competition Commission Inquiry into the power of large retailers. Again, I shall be lobbying, through our local MPs, to ensure that this new body has real teeth and is able to address the issues that we are facing in Brighton & Hove. I think this is a really positive step forward.

It is also true to say that Labour don’t have a great record on this. It was the Labour Government which changed national planning rules on retail development (through Planning Policy Statement 4) and scrapped the so-called ‘needs test’ which significantly weakened council’s ability to stop unwanted out-of-town supermarket development.

Moving onto the local angle. A couple of weeks ago, we hosted a conference called Streets Ahead which brought together local traders, supermarkets, campaign groups and Council officers to discuss how we can best protect and enhance the unique character of Brighton & Hove’s retail sector.

It was very useful and productive to get everyone in a room together, not only to listen to people’s concerns, but also to map out a way forward.

I agreed to set up a special commission on retailing to consider these issues which will include representatives from the various retail sectors in the city, alongside independent experts and the Council.

At the event, local traders gave us some very useful examples of things that we could do better and I hope that the new Commission will be able to consider and implement these as well as some other useful practical measures.

We are also, of course, continuing to promote our high profile ‘Be Local Buy Local’ campaign and will continue to look at any other ways of ensuring that residents and visitors recognise the many benefits of buying local produce and goods.

However, I do think that we need to sound a note of caution. The last thing that I want is for this to turn into a battle between chainstores and independents – this would not be beneficial to anyone. Supermarkets do provide a service that many people in the City use – they are convenient for families who lead busy lives and they and provide a huge range of foods at relatively cheap prices. At a time when everyone’s budgets are stretched this is not something we should take lightly.

So, to conclude, Mr Mayor, we welcome this petition as a reflection of people’s genuine concerns around the increasing dominance of large chain stores in Brighton & Hove. We will continue to highlight this as an issue and to take action where we can and we look forward to working closely with the new local Commission to ensure that this City retains its unique attraction for residents and visitors alike.

Tempting Fate

Joseph Blame — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 02:20:39 +0000

We reach the bottom of the escalators in a cold sweat and turn back to see them following us, tumbling down, spilling over the moving banisters in an attempt to be the first to reach our fresh flesh. Mac turns the moving staircase on so that they have a little extra to fight against before we all turn and race towards the front of the store. Romero would have you believe a mall is a pretty decent place to hold up during a zombie outbreak but this one is too far gone to be of any use. Every crevice and darkened corner seems to be hiding one of them, each as hungry as the last.

The streets are, as predicted, no better. Every corpse in the city seems to have converged here, judging by sheer numbers, their groans heavy on the air. Some of the walkers that are altogether more with it, and by with it I mean intact – seriously there are some on the street that defy physics just be remaining upright – turn to us as we burst out into the cold night, our breath clouding against it. Our grips tighten on our makeshift weapons. We’d made a mad dash through the Homeware section on our way through the store.

“Which way’s the house, man?” Adam says, turning to me. After James had finally given up selling us his automobile I’d suggested we simply make a run for my apartment and collect our thoughts there. Selfishness – the desperate hope my girlfriend was safely tucked away at home – also played a hand. I hoped it didn’t get us killed.

“This way,” I say, turning on my heel and racing down the road, gripping the broom handle in my sweaty palms. The head had been snapped off by a persistent bastard inside and it’s ability to push back the undead had suffered considerably. Every zombie since seemed to get stuck horrifically on its sharpened end and required a boot to the chest to alleviate myself of the deadweight. Desensitization had blessed me quicker than the others, it seemed, a fact I wasn’t entirely ungrateful for. We all had a couple of cleavers in our belts if things got up close and personal but luckily none of us had to use them. Yet.

“This is our punishment,” Adam pants from the middle of the group as we dart our way through the pockets of danger.

“What’s that?” I manage without looking around.

“This is what we get,” he continues, “for oversaturating the market with the fuckers. With every other video game, movie and book featuring zombies, it was only a matter of time until we tempted fate to breaking point.”

Wordpress Presents: Totes McGoat's 2010 Review!

thatsagirlscar — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 04:17:09 +0000

Dude! WordPress sent me a stat sheet for TotesMcGoat.com’s performance over 2010! How’s that for awesome possum?

According to the seemingly arbitrary little dial below, this blog is doing pretty well:

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads This blog is on fire!. (This blog! This blog! This blog is on fiy-ah!)

Crunchy numbers

A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 1,500 times in 2010. That’s about 4 full 747s.

In 2010, there were 83 new posts, not bad for the first year! There were 122 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 14mb. That’s about 2 pictures per week.

The busiest day of the year was November 18th with 88 views. The most popular post that day was Totes McGoat, Issue 8.3: What’s In A Name?. (And if all those views were coming from my mom, I’m going to be more than a little annoyed.)

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were facebook.com, WordPress Dashboard, thatsagirlscar.com, mail.yahoo.com, and Google Reader. (Nathan, I know that was you coming from mail.yahoo.com! You rock!)

Some visitors came searching, mostly for totes mcgoats, totes mcgoat, totes, totes mcgoats t shirt, and mcgoat. (Well, at least they weren’t searching for goatse. [MOM, DO NOT GOOGLE THAT WORD. SERIOUSLY.])

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

Totes McGoat, Issue 8.3: What’s In A Name? November 2010

Totes McGoat, Issue 7.1: Dressed To Impress October 2010
1 comment

Totes McGoat, Issue 8.4: Erroneous Monk November 2010
2 comments

Totes McGoat, Issue 7.4: Call Him, Call Him, Any, Any Time October 2010

Totes McGoat, Issue 6.8: Trash Talkin’ September 2010
1 comment

Just nine months ago, the thought of starting my own comic strip made me laugh at myself and cringe inwardly at the same time. And almost four months ago, I thought Totes wasn’t quite important enough to have his own website. “Who am I to be drawing comics?” I told myself. “I’m nobody. I can’t draw. And no one will think these are funny.”

But you guys keep reading my comics. So maybe I’m wrong about that whole “I suck and I shouldn’t be doing this” thing after all.

Every single day, you guys brighten my world by looking at this website. Every time one of you comments on Totes and Lucky’s silly lil’ adventures, I squeal and smile and dance around. I cannot thank you enough for your support.

Here’s to a sweet, surprising 2010, and an even better 2011!

Studded Belt

Sugar & Spice — Thu, 16 Dec 2010 03:54:01 +0000

Beautiful patent leather belt with wide gold tone studs and oversized buckle closure.

Patent Gold Studded Belt by Streets Ahead

$65

CHAIN LOVE

REALFASHIONDAILY — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 07:17:30 +0000

How to make that sweater knit dress from last fall hip and happening? Are you looking for a new way to rock your skinny jeans and blousey top? Add a gold chain belt for sparkle and interest. Here are my best recommendations and links to find them:

TORY BURCH features a great looking logo belt with double strand chain. Visit http://www.toryburch.com/p-121342-TORY-MULTI-LOGO-CHAIN-BELT.aspx?cid=749

STREETS AHEAD, Los Angeles accessories designer, makes a great looking gold belt featuring a sexy long leather tassel in brown or black. Lasso yours at http://www.singer22.com/29213.html

BARNEYS NYC grommet belt comes in brown or black. Okay, so it’s not technically a chain belt but it does feature a chain link belted closure so it qualifies. Besides, it’s super great looking. Go to http://www.barneys.com/Pin-Closure-Belt/500766414

Streets Ahead

Sugar & Spice — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 22:18:28 +0000

: Woven Leather Belt by Streets Ahead

This belt by Streets Ahead has a great vintage inspired design in the woven leather application with incredible color pairing: The bright blue and natural cord look amazing with jeans, in contrast against a black dress, while also perfect with floral prints. A beautiful and versatile styling accessory. To view this belt and others go to www.mobshopunderground.com

Streets Ahead

staticradio — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 17:00:40 +0000

Miles keeps watching the same movie from different continents while Bob travels to the Ozarks.

Visit our sponsor PetMeds.com and get 10% off and free shipping for orders over $39 using our promo code Static.

Onward and Upward

thatsagirlscar — Wed, 05 May 2010 23:59:21 +0000

I just posted the following announcement on my Facebook page, but I wanted to share it with the non-Facebook peeps too. Enjoy. (Oh, and don’t think that the appropriateness of announcing this today has gone amiss. Happy Cinco de Mayo, from a now-professionally-independent Mexican.)

One of the most important things I’ve learned at my current job is that, in order to be effective, you need to state your goals and then figure out how to get to them. You need to always be examining how you are getting to them. And sometimes you have to make tough decisions and reroute your actions if what you’re doing isn’t effective.

After weeks of contemplation, I’ve finally been able to articulate my goal, which, “Wizard of Oz”-like, has been no further than my own backyard: Writing. I’ve never let myself be truly serious about my writing before. I’ve always dismissed it as something I should do in my free time, because I wasn’t really good enough to do it full-time. But for the first time in my life, I’m really serious about my novel and my short stories (and, hell, even “Totes McGoat”). I don’t want to write them for half an hour every day. I want to really focus on them, at least for a few weeks or even a few months, then structure a professional life that can support those efforts.

It is in that spirit that, today, I submitted my resignation at my job. My last day in the office will be Thursday, May 13. After that, I’m going to spend most of my time writing, and will look for contract writing and tech writing jobs to pay my basic bills.

This has been a terrifying decision, to leap into the abyss without a net. And it’s one that’s going to require quite a bit of financial sacrifice. (No more vintage clothing shopping trips, for sure.) But in my current way of life, I’m not moving any closer to my goal. And life is short. At this rate, I might have a draft of something done at age 35 (if even then), and it won’t be ready for publication submission for years after that. My 40s, my 50s–they’ll be here pretty quickly. And I don’t want to be looking at the clock and the calendar, thinking constantly of my novel and wishing I had more time to write it.

I have enough regret in my life. I’ve played it safe for years. It’s time to take a risk–and, hopefully, reap the rewards.

To all the friends who will give me contract job leads (hint hint) and have already given me words of support and enthusiasm: I can’t thank you enough. But since I’m going to learn to cook to save money, I hope I can pay you back in baked goods and pork sliders. And special thanks to David, for being willing to go with me on this adventure.

Onward and upward, my peeps. Let’s see what I really can do.

Onward and Upward

thatsagirlscar — Wed, 05 May 2010 23:59:21 +0000

One of the most important things I’ve learned at my current job is that, in order to be effective, you need to state your goals and then figure out how to get to them. You need to always be examining how you are getting to them. And sometimes you have to make tough decisions and reroute your actions if what you’re doing isn’t effective.

After weeks of contemplation, I’ve finally been able to articulate my goal, which, “Wizard of Oz”-like, has been no further than my own backyard: Writing. I’ve never let myself be truly serious about my writing before. I’ve always dismissed it as something I should do in my free time, because I wasn’t really good enough to do it full-time. But for the first time in my life, I’m really serious about my novel and my short stories (and, hell, even “Totes McGoat”). I don’t want to write them for half an hour every day. I want to really focus on them, at least for a few weeks or even a few months, then structure a professional life that can support those efforts.

It is in that spirit that, today, I submitted my resignation at my job. My last day in the office will be Thursday, May 13. After that, I’m going to spend most of my time writing, and will look for contract writing and tech writing jobs to pay my basic bills.

This has been a terrifying decision, to leap into the abyss without a net. And it’s one that’s going to require quite a bit of financial sacrifice. (No more vintage clothing shopping trips, for sure.) But in my current way of life, I’m not moving any closer to my goal. And life is short. At this rate, I might have a draft of something done at age 35 (if even then), and it won’t be ready for publication submission for years after that. My 40s, my 50s–they’ll be here pretty quickly. And I don’t want to be looking at the clock and the calendar, thinking constantly of my novel and wishing I had more time to write it.

I have enough regret in my life. I’ve played it safe for years. It’s time to take a risk–and, hopefully, reap the rewards.

To all the friends who will give me contract job leads (hint hint) and have already given me words of support and enthusiasm: I can’t thank you enough. But since I’m going to learn to cook to save money, I hope I can pay you back in baked goods and pork sliders. And special thanks to David, for being willing to go with me on this adventure.

Onward and upward, my peeps. Let’s see what I really can do.

Totes McGoat, Issue 2.5: Give a Hoot; Read a Book

thatsagirlscar — Tue, 04 May 2010 01:48:47 +0000

Sorry for the lame title. Nothing is going to match “Whitman Sampler.” That may be the best thing I’ll ever write. And it was only two words long. Alas.

(And, yes, in case you couldn’t guess, Dan Harmon is my new hero.)

Community - "Contemporary American Poultry"

Myles McNutt — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 00:55:37 +0000

“Contemporary American Poultry”

April 22nd, 2010

Pop culture references are something that Community tends to lean towards on a regular basis, especially when you consider that one of the show’s characters (Abed) is largely built around them. It’s a part of the show which usually flies by at its breakneck space, references dropping in to make us laugh for a moment and then moving onto whatever storyline the show is investigating.

“Contemporary American Poultry” is the first time the show has done an extended homage to popular culture, and I feel like I’m trapped between objectivity and subjectivity. On the one hand, I have never seen the movie that the episode extensively pays homage to, which means that I can offer my opinion of how the episode worked independent of Goodfellas and the connections therein; however, on the other hand, I really like chicken fingers, and so I spent the entire episode salivating.

However, I ended up salivating through laughter, so I think that’s a good sign.

I’m trying to keep these reviews shorter than usual, so I’ll open with this: this was an enjoyable episode. The choice to run a single story rather than trying to work the parody into others meant that all of the characters got to play a part within the Goodfellas storyline: Annie got to do a series of adorable and hilarious things (including dancing the robot), Troy got to name a monkey “Annie’s Boobs,” Pierce got to try to coin a new catchphrase (which is actually Dan Harmon’s, “streets ahead”), and Shirley had her moments as well. However, the story worked because the roles that Jeff and Abed were playing in the storyline make perfect sense with their characters. When the episode eventually gets to its emotional conclusion (which, I presume, was ripped out of Goodfellas) it rings true to their characters, Jeff ceding some of his control to Abed and Abed coming to terms with his position in the group. It’s nothing fascinating, of course, but it’s something which still resonates despite the pop cultural context of it all.

Despite the fact that the story got more and more ridiculous as it went along, there was still an element of honesty to it: none of the characters felt like they were being stretched in order to fit the model, and more importantly the characters were still reacting logically. There was a scene early on where Jeff suggested that they get Star Burns fired, and all of the characters spoke up that they didn’t want to go this far. The storyline was obviously heading in that direction, and we don’t ultimately care enough about Star Burns to be very concerned about his employment, but the show took the time to have these ultimately human characters point out that concern. Later on, the group treats Jeff’s suggestion to look in the mirror and apologize in a similar fashion, questioning the logic of it – it’s two completely different circumstances, at different levels of the storyline, where the characters act in a consistent fashion.

I can’t really tell you how the Goodfellas parody played out, or where it sat on the line between parody and homage, but I can tell you that it ended up being pretty funny. It didn’t stop the show from being its normal absurdist self (“I thought it was about crazy farm animals!”) nor did it stop it from having a heart – that those elements remained intact even within such an exhaustive pop culture reference demonstrates the sort of confidence the show is playing with.

You might even argue that it’s streets ahead.

Cultural Observations

There should be some sort of rule against airing an episode like this at a time of day when the procurement of chicken fingers isn’t very easy – I already had chicken fingers today, and I nonetheless got a pretty substantial craving that distracted me at times.
There were a number of great Troy lines, but I’m pretty sure “I have to stop hanging out with her, she sounds like a chicken finger” was my favourite. Nearly spit out my drink.
Fun Hal Holbrook reference considering that he was cast on Sons of Anarchy today – yes, that’s largely unrelated, but I’m officially getting excited for the return of the Sons.

February 15. Oasis and Streets Ahead.

Kamiel Choi — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 07:55:00 +0000

A morning visit to Oasis and Streets Ahead. At Oasis, we visit a hiphop workshop with young kids, followed by counseling. It is only a roll-out of the concept, the first time they do it with preschoolers (it has been done successfully with teenagers). It seems to work well, the kids like it. The counseling session doesn’t kickstart because there are too many adults present and the kids are shy. But once we leave, or one child is take apart, there is some significant feedback.
And this is not some kind of play. Those kids are living in terrible conditions, are forced to collect empty plastic bottles and walk blisters on their toes, they are often mistreated by their parents. Oasis doesn’t have the authority to get to the parents directly, but can notify authorities, which might sometimes result in an improvement of the child’s situation. Sometimes, because the whole thing has to be seen against the background of Zimbabwean corruption.

We have a quick lunch and move on to Streets Ahead, where we ask a few questions about their income generating activities, see the Capoeira class that is going on outside and excites many a streetkid’s heart, do a donation and part in a good mood.

I leave Harare with a smile on my face, in the truck of David. David is amazing, he even shows us a lion park along the highway down to Bulawayo. He drops us after a long comfortable drive at a guesthouse. We fill in our names and the name of a random relative, just in case “there is an earthquake”. We sleep well in a room that looks like it has been the bridal suite – at least twenty years ago.

Streets Ahead Belts

Nneena Belle — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 03:04:40 +0000

New Streets Ahead Belts Available Online at NneenaBelle.com

Streets Ahead Twist Link Belt

Streets Ahead Silver Buckle Belt

Streets Ahead Gold Link Belt

Streets Ahead Nickel Disc Belt

Streets Ahead Belts Made in USA

Available in S – M- L – XL Sizes