Anyone who’s watched a lot of infomercials in the past 4-5 years must be familiar with The Firm, a brand of workout gadgets (steps, hand weights, etc.) with cute names like “Transfirmer” and accompanying DVD “body sculpting systems”.  The infomercials are full of testimonials from women who show often dramatic before-and-after photos and talk about how The Firm changed their lives.

What is often not made clear by the testimonials, is that many of those life changes took place when Reagan was president and Jane Fonda was still feeling the burn in leg warmers.  The first workout sold under the Firm brand was a VHS tape in 1986, produced by exercise-studio owner Anna Benson, who died this week at the age of 59.

Anna Benson was a real “cult figure” – she doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page (although her long list of Firms is in IMDB), yet she is an icon to legions of female home exercisers.  Her first Firm video – known simply as “Volume 1″ to her fans, who call themselves “Firm Believers” – was created by Anna, her husband and her sister to be different in two ways:  it would include a mixture of aerobics and weight lifting, and it wouldn’t be boring.  Fonda was already putting showbiz pizzazz into her videos, but Anna kicked it up a notch with orchestral music, a museum-like set featuring paintings and naked classical statues, and a cast of hardbodies to rival the statues.

Fans ate it up and eagerly sent Anna money to finance subsequent productions.  Anna made around 30 more Firm videos in the same vein with more luxe trappings like oriental rugs, and celeb hosts like Janet Jones Gretzky and Sandahl Bergman.  And as the weights got heavier, with barbells and tall step-up boxes dubbed Fanny Lifters added to the mix, Firm Believers discovered that heavy weights did amazing things to their bodies.  All it took was “a woman’s touch” to get them to hoist the iron.

After Anna sold The Firm, she continued to make workout videos geared toward older women, and she posted clips of many of her videos on YouTube.  Here’s a clip of the Firm video The Tortoise, a “slow and heavy” workout that you were supposed to alternate with their “fast and light” The Hare workout for “best results”.  (That rotation gimmick – the Firm even offered 90-day workout calendars – continues today with systems like P90X.)  Tortoise and Hare contained another gimmick never seen before and probably never to be seen again:  ballroom dancing steps alternated with weight lifting intervals.  That’s right, do a set of rows or shoulder presses with a heavy barbell, followed by waltzing to “After the Ball”.  It’s so absurd that I love it, and Tortoise is one of the first weight-lifting videos I really enjoyed; I still have it today and may dust it off as a tribute to the southern lady who changed the way so many women worked out.

For the first time in a very long time, I feel like we are where we should be. And I am at a loss for words.

So many new feelings swirl around my brain that I’m enjoying a little writing hiatus to just sit back and feel each one as they come and go. Uninterrupted and under-analyzed. And in some weird way I’ve let go.

Last night after making our first Thanksgiving meal in the new house our family snuggled by the fire to play games. My eyes became sleepy with pure satisfaction so I did something I would never do – I took a grateful look around the room, blessed each person and fell asleep. I am talking out cold.

Everything was as it should be. And it still is.

This week was a short week due to the Thanksgiving holiday, so I worked out with Alan 3 times this week instead of the usual four. Enjoyed two fabulous turkey dinners, one for lunch and one for dinner with different sets of friends; and both were really fun and muy delicioso. I abstained from any pie but nibbled on the olives. I’ve still only lost 14.5 pounds, so I ordered some goodies off Amazon to give me some extra help… more on that later.

It seems everyone assumes that I must be eating like a horse since I’m being completely faithful to my workouts yet not losing weight, but in fact, I’m eating healthier than ever and in very reasonable portions. For instance, a yogurt for breakfast; a salad with hard-boiled egg for protein for lunch and no dressing; a bowl of homemade chili for dinner; yogurt for a before-bed snack; and water, water, water, water. That can’t be more than 1200 calories, surely. All I know is to stick with it, and my contrary metabolism has got to cave sooner or later. I did splurge and have one beer on Wednesday evening at the school festivities, but all I got for that was a horrible headache. Me + beer = Le Miserable!

Alan is planning to mix up my workouts since he says my core is very strong now; so we will be doing an assortment of upper and lower body weight training in addition to cardio intervals and core exercises. I just keep doing whatever he recommends, because I always feel better after my workouts than I did when I walked in; and I’m so energized and strong, I don’t want to lose all the progress I’ve gained. I just want to keep making significant gains in my confidence, endurance, energy, and strength. The amazing thing is that when I first started I was so far behind everyone else, but now I’m one of the strong ones. I’m one of the people who’s always hanging out in the weight room after school, dressed and ready to work. I’m realizing that one reward I’m receiving that was totally unexpected is the confidence that other people are expressing in my determination, and the respect in their voices when they comment on how I’m so consistent and faithful to my regimen.

Another thing that never seemed real to me before is that once I started to change my story, I could also help other people to change theirs too. I mean, if I can become disciplined in this, ANYONE can. And it’s not by strength of will except for the first two or three weeks; after that, my motivation has been totally based on the benefits I’m reaping in how I feel every day, and how I sleep, and how much more content I am with my life. It also helped me a lot to have people I didn’t want to let down. Alan is a terrific friend, and I didn’t want to let him down. My friends Gretchen, Kim, Beth, and Rhonda were cheering me on. That has been so helpful! So even though I’m kind of bummed about not magically dropping 25 or 30 pounds over the last 13 weeks, I know I’m on the right track, and since this is a life change, I’m not stopping for anything.

Things I never imagined before have now become a possibility to me. Firstly, trekking all over Egypt and climbing pyramids was my short-term goal. And that is only two weeks away!!! But I’m also looking forward to coaching soccer next year. I was already planning to do it this year, and all excited about it, but then there was a scheduling conflict with the classes I’m teaching to my colleagues every Tuesday and Thursday after school, so now that is postponed till next year. I’m thinking of my future vacations as opportunities to hike and bike and climb and swim and challenge myself in all sorts of ways. Isn’t that crazy?

More importantly, as I take more risks in the physical realm, I believe it will empower me to meaningfully demonstrate more faith in other areas of my life… being courageous and positive in my actions where before I was fearful and negative.

This week, I also watched the movie Pay It Forward, and the words of the main character, a middle school student who believed in the power of change, really stuck in my mind. He said that it’s not enough to plan something out that you want to do for someone; you need to keep your eyes open and see where the need really is; and the thing that you give has to be a huge sacrifice, something you really don’t want to give.

After reading the book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller this week, I became inspired to “rewrite” my own life story, to throw away the boredom and routine in order to live a life more stressful, more painful, more sacrificial, and more REAL than I could have dreamed possible. Because things that are worth achieving are worth earning the hard way.

I no longer desire a life of comfort and ease, of TV and movies and pseudo-happy endings; of selfishness, vanity, safety and security. I want my life to BE more, to MEAN more, to MATTER more. I don’t know exactly what that entails, but I’m open to change. And at my age, I don’t have a lot of time to waste!!!

from deviantart - user wyldraven

it’s so sad when i think about how far i am from where i want to be.

how much i need to improve. and how i don’t know how to get there.

hurts even more when i hear it from someone else.

but God created sound. He created color. He created beauty. He created everything and He created me.

Once again. Let my weakness show His strength. I won’t give up.

Mark 10:21-25
Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!” The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, “Children, how hard it ise to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

6 key events are recorded in Mark 10 and this was the one that spoke to me this morning. At first, it seems like wealthy people are the ones who may not make it into heaven because of their love for their wealth which supersedes their love for anything else, even God. However, there seems to be a lot more Jesus is talking about here. Wealth as we know if is understood differently by different people across the world. To some it might be cattle, land, money, power, position, intelligence, strength, children, cars, gadgets, etc. Some of these are physical and some may not be but all of them are considered as signs of wealth to us and most humans strive to achieve some if not all of them.

Jesus is speaking to those of us who are ‘wealthy’ in this world and want to hold on to our Earthly wealth, seen or unseen, even if it comes at the cost of loosing our salvation. Salvation is free and open to all who are willing to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior but to those who will not give their all to gain Christ, they will not gain salvation. So like the rich young ruler, they can continue to do good but hold on to their wealth and it will amount to nothing on the day of judgment. Are you willing to give up everything and submit yourself to Christ? I am and the Lord has been so good to me in many ways when I submitted my life but the real blessings are after this life when we get to share eternity with Christ! Lets share eternity together with our Lord!

In His Loving Service,
Vineet

Little Rivulets

1 Timothy 1:1-7 (New King James Version)

Greeting

¹ Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ, by the commandment of God our Savior and the Lord Jesus Christ, our hope,

² To Timothy, a true son in the faith:

Grace, mercy, and peace from God our Father and Jesus Christ our Lord.

No Other Doctrine

³ As I urged you when I went into Macedonia—remain in Ephesus that you may charge some that they teach no other doctrine, ⁴ nor give heed to fables and endless genealogies, which cause disputes rather than godly edification which is in faith. ⁵ Now the purpose of the commandment is love from a pure heart, from a good conscience, and from sincere faith, ⁶ from which some, having strayed, have turned aside to idle talk, ⁷ desiring to be teachers of the law, understanding neither what they say nor the things which they affirm.

We do not want to be St. Paul’s description in verses 6-7: “from which some, having strayed, have turned aside to idle talk, desiring to be teachers of the law, understanding neither what they say nor the things which they affirm.” Just because I am a servant, or I do this or that, doesn’t mean I am saved for sure and I am going to heaven 100%. The problem is that we are able to show this face of wisdom and understanding and say “I am a servant; I know what I’m talking about,” when in reality, we have absolutely no idea what we are talking about. Even as servants, we will have ups and downs in life, but we don’t want to stay in the “downs” of our lives for too long. The thing about us as Christians is that we are able to get back up and know that we can start anew. It is sad when we don’t know what we believe or understand what we are saying to others, and with all honesty, sometimes I feel that way. I’m sure everyone feels some kind of doubt at some point, and I know that I have doubts at times and sometimes I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing or what I’m saying. But this is where Christ comes in. If we ask Him to give us the mental strength and wisdom we need, He will supply. So, if you’re down, just ask Him to help you back up. Believe me, even if it isn’t right away, God will not fail you. EVER.

God bless.

Pray for those who are spreading Christ’s word and love, and for those striving to find Him.

Marina

Please keep the following in your prayers:

Mike Ibrahim

Abouna Paul and Sherry Girguis

My family

Yet again I’ve stolen this from UCB’s Overcoming Series but I just thought it was really amazing when I read it so I just had to share it with you – also I really really want to recommend a book by John and Stasi Eldridge called “captivating” for my girl readers and the male equivalent “Wild at Heart” for all the men out there (in fact I think I have more male readers than women atm so cheers for that!) I will include a bit more about them in another post sometime once I’ve finished reading them – in fact I’ve been thinking about setting up a book review page for christian books we’ve read and been inspired by – I know the CU currently are setting up a book library to circulate books around that we’ve recommended so if anyone wants the information i can try and add it up here aswell…

Right basically I don’t think  many of us haven’t heard of the Great Houdini so I won’t go into an explanation of him but basically one of his claims was that he could be locked into any jail cell in the country and free himself within minutes. He did this in every city he visited except one. That day, something went wrong – He entered the cell as usual and as the heavy metal doors clanged shut behind him he removed from his belt his concealed piece of strong but flexible metal and set to work on the lock…but no success. Soon he had been working for 30 minutes and getting nowhere. He knew this was taking much longer than it should have and so he began to get ’stressed out’ but still he couldn’t pick this lock.

Finally, after about 2 hours of working at at and feeling like a total failure, he leaned against the door in defeat and to his utter amazement it swung open. The door had never actually been locked in the first place!

How many times have you been trying and trying to do something that’s impossible and failing simply because you’ve thrown the word ‘impossible’ in there and now just think it is? when you focus your faith on it, strike the words ‘impossible’ and ‘can’t’ out of your vocabulary, and then suddenly with God’s help, the impossible becomes perfectly ‘do-able’!

When God called Gideon, he replied, ‘I don’t have the right connections’. When He called Moses, he replied, ‘I’m not a gifted speaker.’ When He called Jeremiah, he replied, ‘I’m too young’. To each, God said, ‘…I will strenghten you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand’ (Isaiah 41:10 NIV). Today He is saying exactly the same thing to you! “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me’ Philippians 4:13 NKJV

I am smiling.

Why?  When there is so much topsy-turvy situations my life.

It’s like sitting in the eye of the storm; chaos on the left, chaos on the right, in front and at the back.

With calmness in me I know that God is with me. God is in me. God is everywhere. He is keeping me so calm and in everything, He keeps revealing himself to me.

This journey hasn’t been easy. Finding God again and standing up and continuing the fight when the devil knocks me down. There have been times, in these few weeks, where I have had to really push to keep my eyes focused on Him. When it felt like it’s all too much.

I have realised in these last few days that even though things don’t  go my way, it does not mean He does not love me. It does not mean He has given up! It simply means He is preparing me for something better! Something greater! His way is so indescribably magnificent that if I allow myself to wait, He reveals Himself to me in the most wonderful ways.

I smile because I know my Lord is helping me. He is guiding me. I am not alone. This journey will take where He wants me to be. All I have to do is believe, to trust!

When it gets tough I will be still and know that The Joy of the Lord is my strength!

As I discover what I want to do with this blog, I find that selecting and showcasing pictures that move me and saying why they move me (as a Top) is a big part of it. Alas, so many of the pictures out there are derivative. But this one, which I know nothing about, but which I found at Keagen’s Spanking Memoir is worth noticing.

Keagen comments: “To me, it says, ‘You can fight and struggle, but I promise, it’s ok. I’m strong enough to handle the fight, and strong enough to handle you.’ Yet, she’s not being FORCED into position. She is there of her own free-will. (You can tell because of the relaxation in her lower body and back.) *simply* I like it. His hands come over top of her body, so she is extremely close to him, and he is not simply standing behind her. This is, more than anything, a gesture of love, of support, of safety. It’s a gesture of strength, of containment. . . . of boundaries.”

To which I would only add how much I like the focus on hands. Hands are so important in spanking – what he does with his (obviously) and what she does with hers, or is not allowed to do. And her hands are very open, very accepting and receptive. I like too the different skin tones they have. Something sexy about her paleness and his mustiness. Also this is clearly a ‘bondage’ picture, but without the ersatz chains and crap. What a relief. And, lest I forget my true calling, her bottom is very desirable, spankable indeed.

The antiquity of proverbs

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong.  Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.  George Washington Carver

foto – goanna by susan pomroy 2009

Excelsior offers expert advice, coaching support and preparation to athletes, teams and coaches alike.

This is how James describes his sports strength and conditioning company.  I have been an avid reader of his blog for a couple of years now.  I love the way he constantly reminds me that the way to get results from training is not from “going through the motions” or buying into the latest fashion or gimmick, or by spending hours reading muscle mags and copying bodybuilding exercises.

It is by putting your mind on the job and doing things that WORK, not just what the advert told you to do.

I learn more from just the few sentences that he writes than I do from a dozen muscle mags and forums.

Excelsior – http://excelsiorgroup.blogspot.com/

Can there be hope that man will find his way when he is confounded by boundless bureaucracies set up by half-men to stifle his betters? Can man cast off his ignorance and insatiable need for conformity so that he might become something better then he thinks he can be? Can man come to see that what he is now is not the pinnacle of his progression?

The answer is clear, NO!
Or at least not as a whole.

It is obvious that man is stratified and that the majority seeks ease above all else and thus they are incapable of forcing man forward. There is a very sparse minority who are capable and their numbers are dwindling and before they perish from the earth they must make an attempt for survival and then force a move beyond.

When man can finally embrace the idea that the incapable must be allowed to fall and that the capable must be encouraged to ascend we will know man has broken free from the waning plateau he has inhabited for so long. We will know man has evolved beyond tolerance of the void.

“…Trina takes her paints and her threads
And she weaves a pattern all her own
Annie bakes her cakes and her breads
And she gathers flowers for her home
For her home she gathers flowers
And Estrella dear companion
Colors up the sunshine hours
Pouring music down the canyon
Coloring the sunshine hours
They are the ladies of the canyon” – Ladies of the Canyon – by Joni Mitchell

It’s 1975 and I’m sitting in my tiny little house on Opera Drive in Bisbee, Arizona. I’m listening to one of my favorite albums of all time – Joni Mitchell’s, Ladies of the Canyon – listening to the title song. I’m kneading rye bread dough (triticale was my favorite bread to bake, but I baked a lot of rye as well), looking out my kitchen window at the little houses and shops that line the canyon walls. An ideal setting? Yes, it was. At times it felt like perfection. I related deeply to this song, living in this beautiful, tiny town on the border of Mexico. This picturesque community was filled (and filling) with artisans of all kinds – people who created with cameras, paint, cloth, clay, herbs, turquoise, silver, flowers, glass, food…smiles. Many people would simply pass-off the new occupants of this town as hippies… a blanket term that barely offered a glimpse into the spirit of these people. I was raised on the east coast – in a suburb of D.C, but Bisbee is my “hometown” because this is where I was able to shut out all of the “shoulds” and “supposed-tos” that I (and most of us) had been fed all my life. This is where I found my voice… not even realizing that it had been missing. This is where I discovered me. This is where I discovered that my family did not only consist of my parents and my siblings. My family has grown with every dear friend I’ve made. My family is huge.

I was then, and am now, surrounded by strong, capable, independent, and talented women. Back then many of us were single mothers – struggling to raise our children alone and committed to instilling them with a sense of community and an obligation to give back in whatever way they could. Many of these “children” are now living in and with community. They are integral parts of many peoples’ lives – lending their foresight, intelligence, compassion and strength.

I have witnessed some of my friends lives take horrific turns that would bring me to my knees. Many of us have lost a marriage, but how many of us have lost a child? I supported two very close friends through this unthinkable, twisted curse – watched them grieve. And then I watched them come back to life with a greater appreciation for what is still here. I lost my best friend to cancer almost 8 years ago and watched her adult children suffer with unspeakable grief. I recently held the hand of another dear friend as she passed on – also from cancer. These women passed with graceful courage. And although their stories were vastly different – I learned much from watching each of them. Having strength didn’t mean that they weren’t afraid, that they didn’t feel weak. It just meant that they faced what was coming and they knew they had the loving support of their families, friends, and community. We, their families and friends, grieved together – gaining strength from each other and helping one another to move on.

When I first moved to Bisbee, I went to weekly meetings for a women’s group. I went religiously. Talk about some powerful women! So, as we’re putting together a small women’s health clinic and a daycare co-op we were trying to knock down a lot of walls – walls built by men and the “powers that be” (yes, we were an energetic group). This is where I really came face-to-face with feminism. I’ve never really defined myself as a feminist (I’ve used the word “humanist” to describe myself many times), but I do ascribe to the principles and I worked for and fought for women to have equal footing just like the women who fought before us. Even though we’re still not there, I am proud that I am part of that process. It was during these meetings that I learned that the term “lady” or “ladies” was considered insulting to women. I immediately “got it”. Having been raised to “act like a lady” and “be ladylike” – the idea of denouncing the term thrilled me. I felt validated. In my upbringing a lady was a girl or woman who knew her place, never spoke her mind and often smiled through clinched teeth. She was primped and proper and never disagreed with anyone – especially a man. Anyone who knows me knows that this comes nowhere near describing me, or any of my friends. I spent much of the 70’s trying to unlearn everything that had to do with “being a lady”.

But, where then, did that leave the Ladies of the Canyon? I mean, here I was living in this haven with these wonderful women and men and when I heard Joni say the word – it was different. These women of the canyon that she sings about sounded lovely, sweet, independent, creative and free. They didn’t sound oppressed. They sounded like the women of Bisbee. When I think of the term “woman” I think of strength, integrity and substance. I think of the “ladies of the canyon”. It was during this time that I came to define my female friends and myself as women. It’s an ageless thing… not bound by young or old.

Painted Rose

Now, fast-forward 35 years later. I still have a visceral reaction to the term “ladies” much of the time. And it’s not only in the usual context where it’s used in a negative way – such as a stranger calling “Hey, Lady”. Perfectly well meaning, respectful woman can use the term and my hackles go up. I’ve been trying to figure out why it happens with certain references and not others. I am a business owner and it must have escaped me before, but I’ve just recently been hearing the term more and more. I did a poll on email and Facebook and asked women friends how they react to the term. I am amazed at the variety of responses. A couple of the women really didn’t care one way or the other. Most didn’t mind if it was used in conjunction with gentlemen. Of the women under 50 years old, most said that it was dependent on the context that it was used in and who was using it (some didn’t like it when a man used the term), but most preferred WOMAN. There were a few women who added their distain for the terms MA’AM and GIRL. GIRL was acceptable at times – when used by a group of women referring to themselves. Interestingly most of the woman over 50 had a very negative reaction to it and many of them are counselors or psychologists. One counselor referred to clients who felt powerless in a world where they were expected to behave in a prescribed manner… no voice, no power – “ladylike”.

When I consider my history in reference to this word and add to that my connection to some wonderful strong, yet gentle, women who speak for themselves and do for themselves, it’s no wonder I have a reaction to hearing a professional woman refer to her peers as “ladies”. Without experiencing the negative effects of the term, they would never consider that some of the women they are speaking to feel insulted. Most men who refer to their wife, partner, lover, friend as their lady – would never dream of insulting her. And if she doesn’t mind then there isn’t an issue. I’ve realized that when it becomes an issue for me is when I hear the word in context with “business ladies” or with the idea of “empowering ladies”. For me – and a whole generation of women and men – this is an oxymoron. How can one be empowered when one is behaving in a prescribed manner? It became obvious in the poll that this is a generational thing. The most preferred term seems to be woman, while many felt lady was okay in closed company. It was a landslide for women over 50 – for counselors, teachers, therapists, business owners, artists, chefs, designers, doctors, writers, moms, and grand moms – most of them found it insulting and some found it derogatory. It’s not that I can’t accept that this term is being used so freely – without an understanding of it’s potential harm. I’m actually relieved that the meaning seems to have changed over the years. I can only assume that this younger generation of women was not raised being told to be lady-like or to act like a lady. I did make a bad faux pas when my older daughter was younger (as she so recently reminded me) and scolded her a few times using the term “now, young lady”. I guess we can’t always escape the way we were parented – I certainly didn’t, much as I tried. Maybe a new definition really has been created for this old term that has branded so many women with inappropriate labels. Still… it brings me sadness to see so many complacent young women who are clueless about the road that was paved for them by us, by our mothers, and their mothers and on and on.

Lisa Macdonald pointed out in her article on the subject in Green Left Weekly that language reflects rather than shapes reality. But the reason the women’s movement struggles against sexist language is that language also reinforces reality.

Barbara White – Different Cultures and Languages – List of offensive words to be avoided
Lady: Avoid using this in place of “woman” unless you intend shadings of meanings that describe someone who is elegant, “refined”, and conscious of propriety and correct behavior. In most contexts this word is condescending. It also often serves to trivialize.

Common dictionary definitions for Lady:
1.  A well-mannered and considerate woman with high standards of proper behavior.
2. A woman regarded as proper and virtuous.
3. A well-behaved young girl.
4. A woman who is refined.

The origins of Lady?
f. hlāf LOAF + *-diġ- knead (cf. OE. dǣġe kneader of bread, female (farm) servant, dairy-woman; also DOUGH);

How ironic! The word was derived from the kneader of bread. And there I am kneading rye bread. I guess I’m a Lady of the Canyon after all. But I am not properly dressed nor well behaved, I am not refined and I am certainly not considered virtuous. Oh, maybe  “the lady doth protest too much”.

The first thing I did was smile when I found out. For two weeks, I think, I crushed over you and I knew I walked that fine line between friendship and more. Plus, I was in the morally gray area, which weighed heavily on my conscience.

On the way to the airport, you revealed to me that you just got engaged. Even though I had a crush on you, my first reaction could’ve been jealousy or hurt, but it wasn’t. Not mine anyhow. I was happy – for the both of us. I’m happy you found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. What I’m even more happy about is the weight lifted off my chest and the brain space that freed up. Good. I’m glad that didn’t take long or else it would’ve been anger that was the first thing I felt.

I have no regrets coming out of this. In fact, I appreciate it. I appreciate that this lesson was only about two weeks long. Thank you God. And I am able to take something away here:

1. Don’t go crushing on men who are taken

2. The ones who you have an instant attraction to usually don’t work out.

Bottom line – crushing on taken men is asking for trouble. Plus, you walk in gray areas where you’re constantly asking yourself if what you’re doing is right or wrong. And I’d rather not do that.

I’m still learning, still figuring things out and I’m starting to realize a pattern here. I think the ones you have an instant attraction to, those ones are not meant to work out. I can speak so from experience. It’s the ones you are oblivious about that never cross your mind, those are the ones that have a chance at working out. The road is long and I still have much to learn, but I’m eager for what awaits me. With each experience, I’m growing stronger as a person and learning more about what I want in my future S.O.

I’m happy for you. I wish you and your significant other nothing but the best. I hope that perhaps we can explore the route of friendship and see where that goes.

Nonetheless, I’m happy to take you off my atlas. After all, you were just practice. Time to move on…

On this, the eve of Thanksgiving, I am reflecting (as we all should) on those things in my life for which I am truly grateful.  In keeping with traditional subject matter for this outlet, I’d like to write about my parents:

My parents have been divorced, officially, for 15 years.  Tomorrow, I intend to share Thanksgiving dinner with them- at the same table.  Because, after all the turmoil precipitated by their separation, they have remained friends.

I’m grateful that my parents decided to separate- after… I don’t know how long... of feeling that heavy tension when they were both in the house, the sarcastically muttered comments, the fights that woke me up in the middle of the night….

Hurray for my parents- for showing me that you don’t have to always grin and bear it- that there’s a way out.  And sometimes, it’s infinitely more rewarding to take the risk for an emotionally healthy existence.

I am thankful that my mom, back in 1993, never told me that my dad’s new girlfriend was a whore.  And I’m glad she didn’t tell me that her new boyfriend was our Savior.

I’m grateful that my dad didn’t point out the shortcomings of my mom’s new boyfriend.  And that he didn’t comment on what she did with the support money he gave her (at least, he didn’t comment to me).

I’m grateful for those nights with my mom and sister, eating cold spaghetti in the kitchen, with our fingers, and talking about… whatever… (this never would have happened when we were all still pretending to be the Cleavers)

I’m grateful for the camping trips with my dad.  And his girlfriend.  And her daughter.  And their dogs.

I’m so happy to have the memories of those Friday nights with my parents and sister- hanging out on the porch, sharing beverages and daily events before Transition Time.

I’m thankful for my mom, getting up from her bed and giving me a hug while telling me “it’s not your fault…” and “time heals all wounds and we’re going to get through this.”  (it was one of my weaker moments and still brings tears to my eyes)

I’m grateful for the family wisdom:  “You do what you have to do and things have a way of working out.”

I’m grateful for my family, which has expanded and contracted through many relationship-related changes over the past couple decades.

I’m thankful for the lessons learned.  For the strength displayed to me.  For the imparted wisdom which allows me to be who I am today.

Thank you Mom and Dad, for the opportunity to see our family, our house– the world– from a different perspective.

I Don’t Wish To See You For A Short While
I Need You To Walk The Distance, The Mile
I Need To See You For All Times In My Life
Not When You Feel For A Little ‘Invasion’
I Don’t Need Your Casual Attention
I Need More Than Your Penetration
You’re Just Someone Who Doesn’t Care
And Will Get What You Want Without Fear
Go Away With Your Frivolous Intentions
I Am Worth More Than Your Casual Temptation
I Don’t Need Your Hurried And Casual Time
I Need Someone Who Can Be With Me For All Time
Don’t Come By Because You Need A Squeeze
Don’t Make A Fool Of Yourself I Beg You Please
I Won’t Give In To Your Temptation
I Am Worth More Than Your Intentions

Written by Donique C. Perez Copyrighted 2009/11/24 All rights reserved

Psalm 117

Praise the LORD, all you nations; extol him, all you peoples.
For great is his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the LORD endures forever. Praise the LORD.

This short little chapter reminds me of what I am most thankful for as I approach both Thanksgiving and the holiday season this year.

While my love is so often, and shamefully, conditional, Gods love for me stands in stark contrast as being enduring and unconditional. While I am so often faithless. . .he is most faithful. And while I change my mind about as much as weather, God is unchangeable. . .forever the same. Thank him as you begin your Thanksgiving celebrations for being such a loving, faithful Father!

Oh my Dearest Heavenly Father, your grace is enough, your love is too much, and your faithfulness is amazing to me. Thank you for who you are. . . thank you that where I am weak. . you are oh so strong. Hold me close father, never let me go, and thank you that my faith and salvation do not depend on me, but solely on your able shoulders! May you be praised among the nations today and tomorrow and forevermore. . .Amen and Amen!

I love this type of workout because it is short, very effective, it challenges your Strength, Endurance, Cardiovascular system and is excellent for fat loss!

Ok, here’s how you do it…..

First, choose two moves to do back to back. I’d recommend compound movements and ones that focus different areas. E.g. Push / Pull

Or a compound lift with a conditioning exercise. E.g. Squat / Burpees or Kettlebell Swings  

Mike Mahler - One Arm KB Swing

Simply do 10 reps of one exercise, followed by 10 reps of a different exercise, then 9 and 9, 8 and 8, and so on… all the way to 1 and 1.

Kettlebells are excellent for this type of workout!

Enjoy.

Merriam-Webster’s definition of resilience:

1 : the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress
2 : an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change

Obstacles and disappointments are some of the few guarantees in life that will occur in a regular basis. I understand (now) the importance of deeloping thick skin and becoming resilient against odds and obstacles. In fact, I find it important to identify potential obstacles and turn those into opportunities. Last night at the gym I noticed a gentleman’s shirt with the quote, “Your pain is your gain.”

While web surfing in search of articles I stumbled upon a Winston Churchill quote: When you’re going through hell, just keep going.

Here are some things worked for my own personal resilience challenge:
1) I realize I am not crazy when I’m extremely angrey or upset. Expressing emotions is my right and I shouldn’t have to feel inadequate  or “unlady-like” because of such expressions.

2)Anger, fear, disappointment and frustration are all valid emotions.

3) What do I want at the end of this situation?

4) What do I currently control?

5) What are some of the things that are beyond my control?

6) What immediate action can I do for short-term relief?

7) What’s the game plan for long term relief and to achieve the end result?

Above all…remember your feelings are valid and just keep on going…

This week Alan and I did upper body workouts on two alternate days, and lower body on the other two alternate days, (total of four days) along with our usual core exercises and stretching. My ankle was doing better but then Friday I was leaving school, going down the stairs slowly because my hips and butt were a little sore, and I was beat! when suddenly my right knee made a funny popping noise. I didn’t think anything about it until I got up Saturday morning and my knee was completely swollen. I couldn’t put any weight directly on it, like to climb into bed, so I iced it off and on Saturday. By Sunday, it seemed fine so I went to breakfast with Ange as per usual, which is a walk of about two city blocks away.

I was fine till we got to the stairs at the grocery store. Took them slow and held the rail all the way; then I got myself some yummy healthy veggies plus chicken and lean ground beef, and my fave yogurt, Fruchtegut in raspberry, peach, and mixed berry flavors. And a bag of fresh apples. Inched my way back down the stairs, with Ange holding one bag of my groceries so I could hang onto the rail. By the time we got back to our building, I was really worried and my knee was swollen up again. I took it very easy the rest of the day and iced it off and on. By Monday, it was a bit better, and I was able to do most of my usual workouts (no squats though).

I’ve accepted the fact that the occasional ache or injury is part of being active, and it’s way better than being a slug. Plus, if I had gotten this injury and not been as strong and toned as I am (getting), who knows how the injury might have debilitated me? So I’m taking a positive look at the situation and basically just keeping on trucking. I’m getting more compliments from people, not so much about my looks, but more about my determination. They are like, You are really sticking with it! And I’ve been seeing you at the weight room every day! After one such observation, I told one of my coworkers, Yeah, I’m not really losing much weight at this point, but I’m sticking with it. And her reply was, I know you will. That was like GOLD!!!!

My confidence, time management, and energy levels are better than ever. Is it worth it to make the time, pack the exercise clothes every day, sweat and strain to make it happen? ABSOLUTELY. I recommend it to everyone, especially if you are over the hill like me. It’s never too late to write a new story about your life. It’s never too late to be an encouragement to someone else, and to help them write a new story too. I’m so thankful for Alan, because he has been my primary cheerleader along this road, but also because he is such a good person and is honest about where he is on his own personal journey. And isn’t that where we all are? Not irreparably useless; not perfect; but somewhere in between, on our own personal journey to find the story that God wants to write on our pages. I’m so thankful for that this week.