Apple strudel, when I was a kid, was something you bought from Safeway, or perhaps made from a Pillsbury box. It was sickly sweet, jammy, rather artificial-tasting, and absolutely wonderful hot out of the oven. I’ve been thinking of making a proper strudel for years, so when I saw an article about it in last Sunday’s Observer Food Monthly, I decided to make up my own version.

I admit, the tension-relieving factor would have been much higher if I had made the pastry myself. It would have been astronomical if I had made filo myself! However, I was a bit lazy today, so I used store-bought filo, which actually didn’t turn out as well as I had hoped. I know the real Viennese strudel does not use filo at all, but a flour and oil based pastry; however, I don’t have a rolling pin so had to compromise a bit.

I also didn’t peel the apples. I HATE peeling apples, but I also managed to get some of the most brilliant archetypically red (and Austrian!) apples, so I hoped the peel would add a nice visual touch to the strudel.  (It didn’t, but it also didn’t hurt, and perhaps added some needed vitamins.)

So, here we go:

Viennese Apfelstrudel
110g filo pastry

100g non-dairy, non-hydrogenated margerine
two slices white bread (approx. 130g), stale or fresh and toasted

65g dried currents (or raisins)
40mL rum or brandy
40mL fresh orange juice
4-5 Braeburn apples, unpeeled
150g granulated sugar (or 100g granulated and 50g light muscovado)
zest and juice of one lemon
1 stick cinnamon, grated (or 1-2 teaspoons ground cinnamon)

about 150g margarine, for brushing

confectioner’s sugar, for dusting

Preheat the oven to 200 degrees Celsius.

Start by soaking the currents in the orange juice and rum for about half an hour. It won’t hurt them if they’re left longer.

While the currents are soaking, make bread crumbs. First, remove the crust. If the bread is stale, just crumble it with your fingers. If it’s fresh, toast it lightly before crumbling. Melt 100g margarine in a small pan and add the bread crumbs, stirring until saturated. Remove from heat and set aside.

Chop the apples into a rough dice (about 1cm cubes) and stir through sugar, lemon zest and juice, cinnamon, and soaked currents.

Prepare the filo. Melt 150g margarine, then generously spread a baking tray with it. Place one sheet of filo on the tray, then brush again with butter. Repeat until all the filo sheets have been used, ending with a layer of margarine. Spread the breadcrumb mixture over the filo stack, leaving a 3cm border on all sides. Pile the apple mixture over the breadcrumbs, then bring the edges of the filo over the filling and pinch to seal into a long rectangle centered on the baking tray.

You will then need to flip the parcel over. Take a second baking tray, place it upside-down on top of the strudel (to make a sandwich), then hold the trays together and flip over. You should have an upright strudel. Brush it with a generous amount of margarine, then use a sharp paring knife to slit the filo layers in one-inch diagonals.

Bake at 200 degrees for 20 minutes. Reduce oven temperature to 170 degrees, tent the strudel with foil (to prevent it from browning too much), and bake for a further 40 minutes.

Immediately upon removing from oven, take the strudel off the tray and place on a serving dish or cutting board. Don’t leave it on the tray, it will get soggy. Place a small amount of confectioner’s sugar in a sieve and dust the strudel.

The colours are indeed a bit off, but I made the strudel in the evening and my living room does not have good lighting

Saying apfelstrudel is almost as fun as eating it. Almost. But you have you say it with a German accent.

This is a cheater’s apple strudel because it uses store-bought phyllo sheets instead of making the dough from scratch. I swear to attempt to make one from scratch one day soon, and I salute those who do so, but I think the phyllo really does make for a good substitute. Just a note on phyllo sheets… they are incredibly easy to work with, despite what some sources make it seem. They don’t dry up that quickly, and they don’t rip that easily either. Unless you lack opposable thumbs, you should be fine.

You can easily vary this recipe to fit your own tastes. If you like a thicker crust, use more phyllo. If you like your filling to be extra sweet, add more sugar. You can also use any nuts or dried fruit you like.

Cheater’s Apple Strudel
(makes one strudel)

- 6 sheets of phyllo pastry
- 1/2 stick of butter
- 2 large apples, or 3 medium apples (a tart variety are best, but almost any will do)
- 2 tbs of lemon juice
- 2 tbs of honey (or corn syrup)
- 1/4 cup of sugar
- about 50 gr of ground almonds (I toast and grind them myself in my little coffee grinder with a teaspoon of sugar)
- a couple handfuls of  coarsely chopped nuts and/or dried fruit.

1. Thaw phyllo sheets according to manufacturers directions. Usually this means overnight in the fridge, or a few hours at room temperature. Be sure to unfold the sheets gently, checking to make sure that they have thawed.
2. Peel and core apples, and chop into small cubes about 2cm (1 inch) thick.
3. In a separate bowl, mix apples with lemon juice, sugar, honey and any nuts and dried fruit you want to add. Set aside.
4. Melt and cool butter.
5. Place first phyllo sheet on a tea towel. Using a pastry brush, gently brush on melted butter over the entire sheet. You can also use a spoon, which is what I used before I owned a pastry brush, but it’s more work. Sprinkle sheet with about two teaspoons of ground almonds.
6. Place the next phyllo sheet directly on top, brush on butter, sprinkle almonds, and repeat for the remaining sheets.
7. Spoon the apple filling along one edge of the phyllo sheets, leaving about 2cm (1 inch) from the ends. Try to keep the filling as compact as possible.
8. Start rolling the phyllo pastry over the filling. Once the filling is covered, tuck in ends and continue rolling.
9. Place the strudel onto a cookie sheet covered with parchment paper. If I am out of parchment, I sometimes cover the cookie sheet with aluminum foil and lightly butter it. I would not recommend baking the strudel right on top of the cookie sheet because some caramelised juices from the apples are likely to spill onto the sheet while baking. Using parchment paper makes for the easiest clean-up.
10. Place strudel into a preheated over (180 degress C/350 degrees F) and bake for about 35 minutes.
11. Let cool for a good half an hour, but serve warm. After slicing, sprinkle the pieces with icing sugar.

Thank you to my younger brother Jeremy, the best hand model

]]> http://tjreilly.wordpress.com/2009/11/20/willkommen-in-berlin/ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:30:05 +0000 Tyler http://tjreilly.wordpress.com/2009/11/20/willkommen-in-berlin/ http://foodrecipecooking.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/apple-strudel/ Thu, 12 Nov 2009 05:56:55 +0000 decent11 http://foodrecipecooking.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/apple-strudel/

Ein beliebtes Familienrezept aus Bayern. Als Hauptgang , als Dessert oder zum Nachmittagskaffee.

ca. 150 gr. Mehl

1 Ei

1 Eßl. Oel

1/2 Tl. Salz

einige Eßl. heißes Wasser

Mehl in eine Schüssel oder auf ein Backbrett geben, in der Mitte eine Vertiefung bilden und die übrigen Zutaten reingeben , verrühren und langsam von der Mitte aus mit beiden Händen einen geschmeidigen Teig herstellen. Nur soviel Wasser zugeben, dass der Teig noch schön griffig ist, danach ca. 30 Minuten  ruhen lassen .

ca. 5-7  säuerliche Äpfel schälen, entkernen und in kleine Stücke schneiden

4-6 Eßl. Zucker

1/2 Tl. Zimt

4 Eßl. Rosinen ( evtl. Rumrosinen)

1 Becher Creme fraiche

2 Eßl. Butterschmalz

Milch

Den Teig teilen , auf einem bemehlten Backbrett  jeweils dünn ausrollen und mit der Hälfte  der Creme fraiche bestreichen. Die Apfelstücke mit Zucker , Zimt und den Rosinen mischen und gleichmäßig auf dem Teig verteilen.  In der Zwischenzeit in einer passenden Auflaufform das Butterschmalz schmelzen und etwas Milch  zugeben. Den Strudel von der längeren Seite vorsichtig aufrollen und nebeneinander in die Auflaufform legen ( der Strudel sollte die Form ausfüllen). Mit der restlichen Creme  bestreichen und soviel Milch zugeben, dass der Strudel mindestens  zur Hälfte  bedeckt ist, im vorgeheiztem Backofen bei ca. 180 Grad etwa 45 Min. goldbraun backen, während der Backzeit  2-3 mal mit der Milch bestreichen .

Dzu schmeckt kalte Vanillesoße oder ein Kleks Sahne.

La parola austerity, lo ammetto, dà un po’ di tristezza. Rimanda a momenti difficili e di privazione. Tuttavia, in una società dove anche in tempo di crisi, esistono ancora persone che pensano che ostentare sia chic e che farciscono i discorsi di noiosissimi “io ho comprato questo marchio” oppure “io ho pagato tanto”  – che diciamolo fa sempre cafone -, un po’ di creatività non solo mette allegria, ma fa veramente chic e soprattutto salva il portafoglio. Le nonne insegnavano quando eravamo più giovani a non sprecare nulla ed è arrivato il momento di ritirare fuori dall’armadio i vecchi consigli di una volta. L’altro giorno, ad esempio, avevo voglia di un dessert. Ho aperto il freezer ed è saltata fuori un confezione di pasta sfoglia. Ho aperto la credenza e hanno fatto capolino delle prugne secche della California. Ho guardato nel cestino della frutta e due mele rosse mi hanno implorato di inserirle nello strudel che stava prendendo forma nella mia testolina. Alla fine ho trovato anche delle mandorle, del miele e un po’ di marmellata di mirtilli. Ho steso la sfoglia – bucherellando il fondo – e cosparso la base di mele mischiate alle prugne snocciolate, mandorle tritate, un chicchiaio di miele, uno di marmellata e una spolverata di cannella. Forno a 180 per una ventina di minuti e voilà la merenda era servita. Il riciclo è un’arte da mettere da parte.

Me le penso,  me le ricordo. spesso non me le spiego. (le parole delle amiche. i gesti delle amiche) intanto che raccolgo le parole e le considerazioni mele mangio.

Per la pasta:

150 grammi di farina, 1 uovo, un cucchiaio di zucchero, pizzico di sale, acqua qb

per il ripieno:

3-4 mele, un pugno di uvetta “ammollata” nel marsala, due amaretti, poco pangrattato, meno burro

cannella e marmellata (quella da finire), zeste di limone

Procedimento:

impastare (anche in un frullatore) farina, zucchero, sale, acqua, fare una palla e metterla a riposare coperta da una tazza da latte.

intanto tagliare le mele a pezzetti, messcolarle all’uvetta strizzata, utilizzare il marsala per diluire la marmellata, gratugiare la buccia di limone sopra le mele.

Poi tirare la pasta sottile sottile, con il matterello dopo il riposo sarà docile e si allargherà facilmente. cospargerla con il pangrattato tostato nel burro. poi con la marmellata diluita, con gli amaretti sbriciolati e finalmente con le mele. spolvero di cannella e con l’aiuto della carta forno o di un burazzo formare il rotolo che diventerà uno strudel.

fare due taglietti in superficie e infornare a 180° per 40′ o meno dipende dal forno. E’ la mia personale ricetta molto light. se volete più calorie ungete con un pennello intinto nel burro fuso.

dedicato all’amica che oggi si guarda allo specchio e si scopre ancora bambina.

I try to work at least one solid, balls to the walls meal into my schedule every week. This week, it happened to be last Friday, when I had the whole weekend off and a desire to recreate an idea I had at work a couple weeks back. It was a nice dish, with color and pizazz, but it lacked something. I reached into the depths of my psyche and came out with one word: gnocchi. Gnocchi is a dish that is closest to my heart, not most because of the familiar process of working the freshly cooked potato into flour, fat, and herbs, but because of its versatility. These modest potato dumplings can pair with almost any main course, or stand alone as an appetizer. They go with tomato and parmesan as well as they go with salmon and beurre blanc, or venison and port wine demi, depending on the seasoning. A good offset to this Friday night feast, complete with a first time, hands-on strudel making session that turned into Saturday morning’s redemption. Here’s how it all went down:

pork tenderloin,

goat cheese cream,

strudel,

and you get one hell of a productive Friday night… Hand me a homebrew, will ya?

Rosemary Gnocchi

Ingredients:

4 medium sized starchy potatoes
Approximately 2 cups flour
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 egg, slightly beaten
A few sprigs of rosemary, finely chopped
Salt to taste

Directions:

Bake potatoes at 200 degrees Celsius (400 F) for about an hour. Put a large pot of water to boil. Halve potatoes and squeeze out potato from skin (use a clean towel to hold the potatoes while you’re squeezing them). Mash potato with oil and salt. Add an amount of flour equal to the amount of potato by volume along with the rosemary and egg. Mix the ingredients until just combined, then turn out onto a lightly floured surface. This is the most crucial step: you have to gently knead the mixture into a uniform dough, but if you overwork it, the gnocchi will become too tough when you cook them, and the mixture has to stay warm until the last bit of flour is worked in. It’s a delicate touch; I usually stop just when I feel the mixture begin to stiffen and exhibit a slightly springy texture.

To form the gnocchi; divide the dough into two parts and roll in to a rope about 3/4 of an inch thick. Cut the rope into 1 inch segments. Using your thumb, roll the segments over a gnocchi board (also called garganelli board or butter pat), or any other grooved or ridged surface (a sushi mat works well). Dust with flour and drop into boiling water in batches, cooking the gnocchi until it floats. Remove with a slotted spoon and place in a ice water bath to prevent over cooking. At this point, if you’ve made a large batch, you can toss some in oil and store for later use. Lightly pan fry the rest in butter (I use duck fat, recipe to follow…) before serving.

Cranberry-Apple Strudel

Ingredients:

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted
1 1/2 cup sifted all purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 egg
1/3 cup room temperature water

6 apples, cored and peeled
3/4 cup fresh bread crumbs
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup chopped toasted hazelnuts
1/2 cup whole fresh cranberries
1 tablespoon lemon zest
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

Directions:

Sift together salt and flour into large bowl, making a well in the center. Combine in a small bowl: egg, water and 1 tablespoon of melted butter. Pour egg mixture into dry ingrediens and mix quickly into the dry ingredients. Turn out and knead dough onto a lightly floured surface for about ten minutes; the dough should become silky, slightly elastic and not sticky. Form the dough into a ball, brush with melted butter, and place in a covered bowl and rest in a warm place about 1 hour.

Preheat the oven to 200 Celcius (400 F). Cut apples into thin wedges, then chop into 1/2 inch pieces. Toast breadcrumbs in a pan in oven until golden brown. Combine half of the breadcrumbs, hazelnuts. sugar, cranberries, lemon zest and cinnamon in a large bowl, then toss in the apples.

Cover a 30 inch by 30 inch surface with baking paper. On a very lightly floured surface, roll dough as thinly as possible. Transfer dough to baking paper. Carefully begin to stretch the dough by draping it over the back of your hands and stretching it away from the center, working slowly outwards, until the dough is about thirty inches square. Trim the thicker bits off the edges with a pair of sharp scissors; you can patch any holes with the trimmings. Let stand for 10 minutes.

Brush the entire dough with melted butter. Leaving a 3-inch gap on one side, sprinkle the rest of the bread crumbs on one third of the remaining dough. On the same area, distribute the apple filling evenly, and fold the 3-inch section over the filling. Pick up the ends of the baking paper, letting the dough spin itself around the filling. Form the rolled strudel into a horseshoe shape, brush with melted butter, and bake on a greased baking sheet for 20 mins. Take out and brush with more butter, then bake for another 20 minutes, or until golden brown. Cool completely on a rack and serve dusted with powdered sugar.

Today is a perfect day to stay in bed, read a book and listen to the rain. I can’t sit in bed all day long. What else is there to do during a rainy day? Hmmm… i’m gonna put some water to boil, cause a herbal tea is perfect right now.

These pics are from my kitchen and living room. Design your house so you love it when the weather makes you stay at home.

Cu ajutorul unui neamt, care in mod absolut providential vorbea engleza, am aflat ca am norocul sa prind un tren spre Kaufering in fix 5 minute, dupa cum imi arata si mersul trenurilor lor, scris pe un A4, dintr-un avizier pitit dupa gara! Aproximativ jumatate de ora mai tarziu, ma urc in tren si ajung intr-un final la destinatie. Unde ma astepta o tanti super incantatoare, foarte sexy si extrem de nervoasa. Gratios, reusesc sa-mi depun omagiile, neluand in seama referirile punctuale la stramosii mei si suturile in posterior aferente.

Odata ajuns in satul in care urma sa ma stabilesc pentru urmatoarele 2 saptamani, am purces la cercetarea terenului inconjurator, descoperirea de rute de iesire in caz “de ceva”, stabilirea primelor contacte, macar si vizuale cu bastinasii, precum si verificarea in mod discret a posibilitatii existentei unor lebede prin zona.

Kaufering-ul de Campie, localitatea in care m-a adus fatalitatea, e copia la indigo, fara sa exagerez cu nimic, a suburbiilor americane, alea de se vad in filme. Se mai pastreaza un pic accentul de Europa medievala, atat prin biserica lor fortificata, cat si prin unele obiceiuri de inalta clasa. Pe unele le-am mentionat, cum ar fi cumpararea si depozitarea de cantitati industriale de detergenti si sapunuri, dupa cum spun statisticile si completa lor uitare in beci sau pod, dupa cum am simtit eu. Altele, cum ar fi basina la masa, ragaiala dupa carnati si bere, produsa in egala masura de herren und frauen, aveam sa le descoper pe parcurs.

Ca fapt divers am observat ca italienii lor sunt la fel de stupizi ca italienii nostri, numai ca acolo sunt priviti ca imbecilii Europei si nu ca niste bibelouri pretioase ,cum sunt vazuti in spatiul carpato-danubiano-pontic.

In ceea ce priveste loisir-ul, in satul lui Hansel si Gretel, exista un complex acvatic destul de bine dezvoltat, cu bazine in aer liber, dar si acoperite. Lucru care ma binedispune intotdeauna si ma obliga sa-mi exersez stilurile preferate de inot: ancora si nicovala. La sauna in special (care e mixta) si la vestiar unde, desi regula e sa ramai in cucii si prunutele din dotare goale, se pare ca pentru nemti e un motiv perpetuu de uimire.De aia continua sa se uite perfect fix la genitalele tale, cu o curiozitate aproape copilareasca, de nu ar avea majoritatea de la 25 de ani in sus.

Invat cuvinte noi cum ar fi: schnitzel, un fel de snitel de pe la noi, numai ca de 1,5 kg,  apflestrudel, adica strudel cu mere, hure, adica domnisoara super simpatica pe care o poti inchiria cu ora si preferata mea: ich denken diese  ist eine hund nicht eine Schwann! adica : Va dau cuvantul meu de oroare, domnule politist, daca n-am crezut ca e un caine si nu o lebada. Pai uitati-va cum arata: am crezut ca si-a pierdut labutele si ca i s-a lungit gatul de foame! Ca de aia mi s-a si facut mila si vroiam sa aduc animalul in casa, sa-i dau ceva…de mancare…Ati dat deja de 4 ori in cap, domnucule draga! Poftm, sa-i dau drumul?  Pai si-a incolacit gatul de mana mea…       …etc

va urma

I can’t tell you exactly when I had my first strudel.  I suspect it was about ten years ago, when I was recently out of college and I frequented this little Vienesse bakery in the Upper East Side of Manhattan.  Everything I tried there was heavenly, but their strudel was extraordinary.  I remember flaky dough, sweet fruit and flavors of nuts and cinnamon throughout the pastry.  The last time I had this delectable treat was at a fabulous German restaurant in Queens called Zum Stammtisch.  This restaurant captured the feel of a Bavarian beer house with its wood decor and interesting accents of animal heads and steins.  But, more importantly, it has some of the best German sausages I’ve ever had and truly, the best strudel.

OK, so what is strudel really?  Basically, strudel is a dessert consisting of layers of flaky pastry encasing a deliciously sweet or savory filling.  Traditional fillings include apples with raisins and nuts seasoned with cinnamon and sugar. This is also traditionally served with a sauce, usually creme anglaise, or  ice cream or whipped cream.   However, if you prefer a less sweet variety, the strudel can be filled with cheese to create an almost cheesecake like textured filling surrounded by flaky pastry.  Here’s a shot of the delicious strudel at Zum Stammtisch which comes with two generous scoops of ice cream!

After thinking about strudel a lot, I finally enrolled in a class all about strudel and got to make some tonight!  Was our strudel as good as Zum Stammtisch?  I do think it was close, but for a first try at making strudel, it definitely wasn’t bad!  Of course, I had no idea how much work went into making this delicious treat.  The biggest challenge was making the dough.  Ok, not really making the dough, but more the preparation of the dough for the filling.  To make the dough, we basically just mixed the ingredients (all the usual suspects, eggs, flour, oil, water, salt) until they came together as a dough.  Seems easy enough right?

Wrong! The key to making good strudel is developing the gluten for the pastry.  So once the dough has come together it is slapped on the table, hard, 100 times.  The classroom was noisy, but it was a great way to get out any aggressions!  Once that is done, you notice a marked change in the dough–it’s more pliant and less sticky.  You can literally hold one end of this dough and watch the rest of it stretch in the air, watching the gluten at work. Then, the dough is set aside to rest for at least one hour.

During that hour, we prepared our fillings.  These were all fairly simple fillings from the traditional apple-walnut-raisin to a sweet frangipane with sour cherries to a grape-walnut filling.  We also made one with dried fruit and pastry cream.  Once the fillings were finished, we were ready to start preparing our dough to be filled.

This is now the really tricky part to making strudel dough.  This procedure is very similar to making phyllo dough and the two are often used interchangeably.  The table was draped with a table cloth and the cloth was lightly dusted with flour.  We then removed the dough from the bowl, in one piece, and then gently rolled it out to about 1/4 inch thickness.  Then the top of the dough was brushed with oil and we placed flour on the backs of our hands. Now is the tricky part, pulling the dough.  Using the back of our hands, making  a claw-like gesture, we go under the dough and gently pull it in different directions.  As the dough is gently pulled, it becomes thinner and thinner, almost transparent.  Inevitably, there will be some holes, but as long as they’re along the edges, then no one will be able to notice.  Eventually our little piece of dough grew to become a thin sheet of dough that covered most of the table! The dough is then brushed with melted butter and sprinkled with breadcrumbs.  The dough is now ready to be filled.

Prepared Strudel Dough

Here is one strudel being filled with Frangipane.  It will then be topped with cherries before being baked.

Strudel with Frangipane

Here is the strudel being filled with apples & raisins.

Strudel with Fruit Filling

Now that the strudel is filled, it’s time to roll it. Since the dough was placed on a tablecloth, it will be much easier to roll.  I grabbed the end of the table cloth and pulled it toward me, rolling the strudel onto itself.  Then, it was put on a parchment-lined sheet pan, sprinkled with butter and baked in a convection oven for about 30 minutes.  Here is a finished strudel!

Finished Strudel

And a close-up shot….

And now it’s time to eat!

Cheese Strudel

Dried Fruit Strudel

Overall, I really enjoyed this class! The Chef Instructor, Jeffrey Yoskowitz, was patient and extremely knowledgable.  I always enjoy taking classes with him! And the best part was taking home tons of strudel to enjoy for the next few days!

Note: Please excuse the even more terrible quality of my photos.  I forgot my camera and had to use my cell phone instead.

Strudel has her Desert at Echuca

Strudel won her second race from six starts and took her winnings to $21,500 when she won the $12,000 Moama Bowling Club Hcp (68) 3yo+ Fillies & Mares Restricted 68  53.0kg over 1100m at Echuca yesterday.

Trained by R G Bell and ridden by Frankie Alesci, the Bel Esprit won by a neck after sitting behind the leaders till half way up the straight. She was bred by Greta West Stud of Victoria, carried 55kg and won in a time of 1:05:30 

Strudel (AUS) [2005]
Russell Bell
Bel Esprit (AUS) – Zapple (AUS)


Sold $22000, Northwood Pastoral Co, VIC at William Inglis and Son Ltd. 2007 Autumn Yearling by Greta West Stud, Greta West

Sibling

APPLE ESPRIT (AUS) [2004] – BEL ESPRIT (AUS)
1w-2p-7s $9,700
Race:  pre=”">1000-1200m Won: 1000-1000m Wet: 1w-0p-1s

Adica, strudel de mere cu sos de vanilie. Delicios. Desertul nostru favorit din plimbarile prin Germanica.

Ce sa mai, mere proaspete de Voinesti, foi de placinta cumparate si budinca de vanilie… :O)

Before I even post, I must inform you that these rolls will be on sale, beginning tomorrow (9/29) for $1! FREE! FREE! FREE! So they won’t burn a hole in your hands too long

Reaping In Abundance,
Kay

Mit der ungeahnten Wucht eines stürzenden Schwertransporters explodieren die Moleküle am Beckenrand. Porzellan splittert durch die zyklische Belastung nach allen Seiten und weißer Staub bildet sogleich dichte Nebelschwaden aus. Bizarre Geräusche pfeifen Löcher in die Luft und es scheint, als hätte die wenige Zentimeter entfernte Front ein komplettes Stalinorchester ausgespuckt. Es knallt und zischt, während ich mit einer Hand versuche mein Gesicht vor dem umher fliegenden Geröll abzuschirmen. „Geh in Deckung!“, sprudelt es aus mir heraus und ich zucke zusammen, als etwas nervös an die Tür klopft. Instinktiv versteift sich der Griff um den Hebel, allzeit bereit meinen Gegner bis zum bitteren Ende die Stirn zu bieten.

„Was machen Sie eigentlich da drin, junger Mann?“, krächzt ein alte Dame durch das zugeklebte Schlüsselloch.

„Alles in Ordnung,”, antworte ich, “ihre Einhandwaschbatterie habe ich in wenigen Minuten montiert.“

Wasserinstallateure haben es schon nicht leicht.

Um den restlichen Strudelteig zu verbrauchen, wollte ich gestern Gemüsestrudel machen. Hab mich durch ein paar Rezepte gelesen, aber schlussendlich doch ein eigenes kreiert.

4 Karotten (Möhren) und 1/2 Brokkoli waschen, Karotten schälen und klein schneiden, Brokkoli zerteilen. Zusammen mit TK-Erbsen in heißes Wasser geben, ein paar Minuten blanchieren, mit kaltem Wasser abschrecken. Wichtig ist, dass das Wasser wirklich heiß ist, sonst gehen Vitamine verloren. 3 Erdäpfel kochen, schälen, klein schneiden. Gemüse in eine Schüssel geben, ein Ei und einen halben Becher Sauerrahm zugeben, würzen (Salz, Pfeffer, Kräuter) und gut vermischen. Gemüse auf den Strudelteig geben, einrollen, ab ins Rohr.

Dazu gabs eine Jungzwiebel-Tomatensauce. Dafür Jungzwiebel ringelig schneiden (das helle und das grüne), kurz in wenig Öl anschwitzen, passierte Tomaten zugeben, würzen (Salz und Pfeffer), etwa 10 Minuten köcheln lassen.

Sehr gesund (bis auf den Sauerrahm) und abends gut bekömmlich.

Gemüsestrudel mit Jungzwiebel-Tomatensauce

I Love food. I Love eating. I think about both a lot. In fact, the majority of my days are dedicated to thinking about food in some way. What I just ate. If I’ve eaten lunch. If not, what I’ll eat for lunch. How the bug that just landed on my ankle for the millionth time would taste. As it turns out, most of the time during which I am not eating, I am waiting until I am hungry enough to cram something else down. This is one reason I like running so much. The more you run, the more you can fit in. Anyway. Perhaps some of you know this about me. Perhaps you are wondering why I think you care. The point is that I am going to start a ‘column’ of sorts here on Farmrun. The subject will be food – writing and photographs. The title will be Fourmet.

“Fourmet?!” you are thinking, “that’s just Gourmet with and F. You just took a word that already exists and tweaked it. By one twenty sixth. How unoriginal. How stupid.” I know… apparently I’m into stealing. Or at least taking clever titles and changing one little bit and then calling them my own. But before you boycot In Defense of Food…I mean Feet… hear me out.

Fourmet. Clearly a rip off of gourmet. Lets start there. Defined, gourmet, (n) is a person who enjoys eating and often eats too much food. Yes and yes. Next, there is  Gourmet Magazine, which is honestly where the name came from in the first place. I have recently taken a liking to this publication (and I should be getting payed for this plug), because it is about good food, I quite enjoy the design and layout, it has travel writing and great photographs. These photographs are as delicious as the food they portray, with a very distinctive style. Geometric. Wonderfully rich yet satisfactorily demure colour schemes. Hip crops on their often aerial-style shots of prepared foods. Action shots of great moments of people eating. So it was this inspiration that made me want to start shooting food in the style of Gourmet Magazine. Hip, beautiful photos. Of beautiful food. And when Ruth gets an email with my Fourmet photos from a barrage of enthusiastic readers, she will not sue me, but rather offer a job. She will beg me to fly to the San Juan Islands to track down and photograph the country’s oldest, wrinkliest artisan baker who makes the worlds best chocolate chip cookies. She puts pistachios in them. Who knew? So photographs. Like Gourmet. But also like Andrew Plotsky.

Fourmet. Because, really, the photos and essays are for me (just put a little extra sass into saying “for me,” you’ll get it). I just love the challenge of capturing the magnificence of any given godie with words or photos. Articulating visually or descriptively can certainly give an idea as to the opulence of a hunk of cheese, but words and photos mean nothing to taste buds. The usually just taste like paper. Or computer screen.

Fourmet. Because the photos are also for you. This one really has no clever or witty reference to the title. What I most want is for you to be here with me, tasting and swooning. Since that usually doesn’t happen, the best I can do to share is with my words and photographs.

Fourmet. Becasuse there are four essential steps to facilitate the existence and enjoyment of food. First is growing good food. You know, local and organic and responsible and all that bullshit. Second, preparing good food. With love and intention and passion and ingenuity. Third, eating and enjoying the good food with good people. It’s nice to have a hearty ox penis soup for one, but when surrounded by friends and family, there is no comparison. Finally, and arguably most importantly, is, after tasting the soup, doing the fingers-from-the-mouth-explosion lip smacky kissy noise thing. You know, the one French people do. Or is it Italians?

This is Fourmet. Episode One.

…I have a confession to make. The definition I provided for ‘gourmet’ is actually the definition for ‘gourmand.’ I understand if you never come back.

Strudel ist typisch österreich, vor allem Apfel- und Topfenstrudel. Ich mach ihn gern und esse ihn auch gern. Früher hab ich den Strudelteig auch immer selber gemacht – man braucht Mehl, Öl, Wasser, Salz und etwas Geduld. Seit er mir aber mal misslungen ist, kauf ich immer fertigen. Ich nehm mir immer wieder vor, ihn selber zu machen, aber bisher konnte ich mich nicht mehr dazu aufraffen.

Die Fülle des Apfelstrudels besteht aus etwa vier geschälten, kleingeschnittenen Äpfeln, Zucker, viel Zimt, nach Bedarf Rosinen und Brösel. Wobei ich letzteres immer weglasse, dafür kommen extra viele Rosinen rein. Die Fülle auf einer Hälfte der Strudelblätter verteilen, den Strudel zusammenrollen, mit zerlassener Butter bestreichen und etwas 25 bis 30 Minuten ins Rohr.

Dazu passt Vanillesauce – dafür Vanillepuddingpulver nach Packungsanweisung kochen, allerdings mehr Milch verwenden als angegeben. So wird der Pudding nicht fest, sondern man hat ne schöne Sauce.

I’m almost done being lived by the Baileys!  It’s been a long & exciting week.

I’ll tell you right off that you can’t expect any pictures. I lost my iPhone!  & I can’t find my camera.  So you will have to attempt (difficult, I know) to use your imaginations.

The Chancellor is happy to have me back.

That’s all you’re getting from me. Let it be inspiration enough.

Today was a very long day.  It began with me waking up with fewer than five hours of sleep under my mother’s dining room table.  I’d 1. Flipped The Coin of Destiny the night previous & I had to leave in the morning.  Earliest ferry was 10:30.  I left a note to that effect on my dining-room-table-tent. (You can watch the whole architectural process, if you’re so inclined, in the post below).  Anyway, I woke up & had fifteen minutes to get ready.  A few blueberries, pieces of bacon, & hard-boiled egg later, & I found myself back in the trusty family Volvo, ready to face the future.

I nearly missed having a future at all.  Arrived at the ferries with just minutes to spare!  Bought ticket, raced in.  As I was about to text TD with a snide comment about the supremely Canadian “Female Washroom” sign in the terminal, realized my phone was gone.  The horror!  Probably in my mother’s car?

Felt my cell like a phantom limb the whole ride back to Vancouver.  Though eventually it began to feel like a timeless, underwater state.  A little bliss in that, I’ll admit.

I’m supposed to 2. Flip The Coin for all minor decisions.  I was lost enough & discovered a way to circumnavigate it.  I wouldn’t make any decisions.  For the next several hours I followed my impulses without thinking about them, much as I always do.  I bought the New Yorker & read it on the ferry.  The wrongful execution story prompted a tear or two.

Then I took the (non-express) bus back to the city.  Braden had my keys & I had no way of getting in touch with him, but I remained very calm.  After an hour or so on the bus (insane man explaining to us that the Japanese kill heroes, but he, on the other hand, was a military captain of Jesus, here to spread the “Don’t worry, be happy” word!), I exited with my suitcase & headed for a nearby coffee bar with wireless access.

Sent some desperate emails.  Jess! Call Braden! Sipped tea.  Still no decisions.  I was kind of like a Vulcan.  Or at least a Vulcan as I understand it from watching Trekkies– never seen an episode of Star Trek in my life.  I unquestioningly followed my own logic & no hemming & hawing or coin-flipping was necessary.  Smart.  I eventually got in touch with Braden & headed to his work to get my keys.

We stopped for sushi.  I selected commenter Suzanne’s either/or directive.  3. Hot drink or cold? I got tails.  I eschewed the free tea in favor of a non-free can of coke.

I eventually made it home around 5:00.  Long day at the office.

Meanwhile, tonight’s date AND my back-up date were supremely MIA.  I made a deal with Braden & he promised to be my third go-to man if the date ultimately fell through.  I waited for Braden to get off work & accomplished some of my directives.

I 4. consulted the I Ching to see which Radio Lab podcast I should listen to.  I got Hexagram 42 (Augmenting/Increase) with the alternate 24 (Return).  Obviously, I was to listen to “Time.”

I 5. Listened to it.

Perhaps it’s because I think about time a lot, but this was the first Radio Lab which failed to fully impress.  I’ve always experienced time differently than others, & I suppose I’ve also researched time a little — maybe this is why none of the information in the program was particularly new or surprising to me.  Or maybe I was just busy.  Eventually, I listened with half an ear.  My favorite quote? “The joy of time is when you lose it completely.”

I admit, I experienced time VERY differently today.  I had no phone– & thus no clock.  I made very few decisions.  & it lasted a pleasant eternity. Things were soon to speed up, however.

Should I email the team at Radio Lab & ask them to participate in my project?  6. Flipped.  Yes.

Did. Unfortunately, when/if they come to this site, they’ll be presented with this rather dull & photo-less entry.  But that’s part of destiny too, I suppose.

Then I emailed the Bailey sisters.  We’re all to go to the casino tomorrow.  I 5. flipped The Coin to determine the details. Results?

1. Jeans hoodie and sunglasses
2. Hard bar
3. Go with two others
4. Bike
5. Red lipstick
6. $81 spending money

I emailed them with our destiny.

Magali responded:

Grand. What time? Want to come here first or shall we meet there?

So many people have decisions for me!

• TAILS: we’ll meet here.
• HEADS: they’ll pick the time.

There you have it.  Suddenly time began to move very fast!  I was prepped for a quiet night with Braden, when I received an email from tonight’s date!  A flurry of planning began.  Then I left my house almost immediately.  Took the skytrain (for the first time) to the movie theatre where most of tonight’s date was to unfold!

In our pre-chat, we realized we have a lot in common.  Not only is he from Ann Arbor (what coincidence!), he’s also lived in LA. Then 6. I flipped The Coin to see if I could get popcorn. NO.  But then they made it fresh.  7. Now?  YES.

As far as my directives go, should I remind you of the details?

• no makeup
• indoor
• (nighttime)
• pants
• hair down
• booze
• smoke
• don’t talk about project
• goldfish

So anyway, we went to watch Inglourious Basterds. I was certainly 8. wearing pants & definitely had 9. no make-up & my hair was almost 100% 10. down. We were 11. indoors, of course, & it was 12. nighttime.  I 13. didn’t talk about the project either.  We 14. drank some covert whiskey in the theatre. By the time the strudel scene rolled around he turned to me & asked if I wanted to leave.  Um, yes?!  A man after my own heart!  There is nothing I love more than walking out of a movie!

I’d resigned myself to watching the whole thing (eyes closed during violence, of course) as I thought it was part of my destiny.  But normally I would not be so patient.  I didn’t have to make a decision, however: he wanted to leave too!!  We walked out.  Giddy with joy.

Then he suggested we drive to a bar.  I 15. Flipped the Coin of Destiny & it said he wasn’t a serial killer.  Ok. The coin is never wrong.

In the parking garage, his pick-up truck suggested otherwise.  Or perhaps I misread the NRA sticker?  Or the stained twin mattress, empty coconut shell, length of rope & metal tools in the back.  Still, who am I to argue with fate?  & if he killed me, well — any publicity is good publicity.  I told him that God was watching him & if he was going to murder me, he should do it gently. We got in the car & 16. smoked a cigarette before heading to the bar.

Cigarettes are a filthy habit, but I don’t have any control over my directives.

Then we split a pitcher of beer & my new friend Joe attempted to seduce me.  It was an admirable effort, & it certainly would’ve worked on me if I were 17.  I told him as much, then gave him helpful pointers for the future.  Though he’s already very good & he probably doesn’t need them.  Speaking of 17, I attempted to work 17. goldfish into the conversation.  I had a particularly good lateral thinking question in mind.  But as the topics of conversation would not veer from lesbian experimentation, the kind of sex I had with my ex-boyfriend, & his work in the air conditioning business, we never quite reached the transcendent realm of lateral thinking.  I eventually forgot all about it, as I was having too much fun.  I’m sorry.  I’ve failed you.

His knuckles were all taped up.  I asked him if it was from cutting up prostitutes.  But much to my relief, it was nothing like that.  Just a run-of-the-mill barfight.  I was very impressed.

Then, against my better judgment, we went back to his apartment where…

I waited for my cab!  He was a true gentleman.  You know, on plentyoffish (the dating website I was required to sign up for this week) we were 97% compatible.  That’s why I went with him.  & despite our vast differences on the surface, I sense a kindred spirit within.  I have to say I was very fond of this guy.  We’ll stay in touch (we better!) & I’m going to be his wingman (I hope!).  I’m a really good wingman.  Also he is a DJ & he can introduce me to some electronic music.

Actually I kind of love Joe.  He says I think too much but I love him anyway.  Do you hear that, Joe?  I love you!

Now it’s time for bed.  I’m going to sleep for a hundred years.  Sorry about the lack of pictures, but my phone will arrive in the mail tomorrow or day after.  If I wake up with a long white beard I’ll be sure to document it for posterity.

Give me some more either/or’s!  I still have one day left.  So excited for casino tomorrow. Though I’ve never been to one & I don’t even know the rules of poker, that just makes it more exciting.