In April 1947, The Assembly line of Ford plant is halted for the day of Henry Ford's funeral

Our world is constantly, a "new idea!"

Throughout my life and on many different occasions, I have heard a reason for doing something stated as, “we always do it this way.” Of course, there is some merit in doing something because it was proven to work in the past. If we are familiar with what we have done, then we will have a certain degree of confidence in doing it like before. If it has worked in the past, then we readily assume that it will work in the present. And, it might.

So, why consider doing it differently? If we do something a certain way because, “we always do it that way,” then what are we giving up by not trying a different way?

Consider Henry Ford and his invention of the Ford assembly line. He decided to have the cars move to the workers instead of the “we always do it this way” of having the workers move to the cars. That simple switch revolutionized the automobile industry. How did he think of this? I’ll bet he didn’t know exactly what the result would be when he decided to change his assembly line. I’ll also bet he was operating on a hunch. He decided to do something that wasn’t the way it had always been done.

How can we get out of the rut of doing something the way it has always been done? One way is by using the old education saying of, “start with a clean slate.” Literally, start out with nothing from the past. I’m not saying we shouldn’t use past knowledge, but I am saying we should set it aside as much as possible in order to have a fresh new look at what we are trying to do. Do some “what if-ing.” Consider the implications and consequences of the “what if’s” and then, if they seem reasonable, try them.

I'm starting with a clean slate!

Starting out with a clean slate allows the creative part of thinking to be manifested. As long as we use our critical thinking to help assess the creative output from our mind, we should be able to have fresh approaches to problems, while still using what we know from the “way we have always done it.”

For a change, consider trying new approaches to some of the mundane parts of your life. Instead of mowing your grass by going back and forth, try going round and round. Instead of going to the grocery store using your usual route, try a completely different one that takes you past a new area. Instead of eating a salad at the beginning of the meal, try eating it at the end of the meal. There are many times during a normal day that we could change our approach and reason of “we always do it this way.”

I'm eating my salad for dessert!

By getting rid of the reason, “we always do it this way,” we will be able to have a new look at our future. Too often, people are stuck in the past by not trying new ways of doing things.

Think about it – if you always do things a certain way based on previous methods, then your vision of the future is like the past. You have nothing new to look forward to. This is especially true for those of us who are “up there in years.” We have so much history that we can’t imagine a new and different way of doing something. “That’s the way we’ve always done it!“

How about a fresh and new look on life? Let’s use the philosophy behind the statement, “we always do it this way” sparingly.

Consider changing the statement to, “we always DID it that way, but now we are considering new ways.“

Please consider a comment for a new way.

Hellooo out there!  I decided to start a fresh new blog just because I felt like it.  I have a livejournal that I haven’t posted in in, well, what seems like ages.  I figured, why not just start a new “chapter”?

So what is the purpose of this blog?  I don’t know yet.  I’m just feeling this out, letting my fingers do the talking, so who knows where this thing could go.  I figure that when I get a creative idea or something I want to capture for future use, I can jot it down here.  I’m of the mindset at the moment that anything is possible.  I have this desire to create something amazing.  I have a lot of passion, but I’m not sure how to leash that passion, or even what I want to create, so I’m stuck in a little bit of a rut.  I feel like I am capable of so much, but I can’t seem to focus on one item for a long enough time to really make any progress.  It’s annoying.  I need to discipline myself.

I’m thinking it’s bedtime.  Yes, sleeps = grooooood [great&good].  Night!

<3 jl

Yet I have no motivation to do anything today.  I need to go to the store, go return some sweatpants and go to the doctor, and I should do laundry.  But I’m just kind of empty and don’t know what to do with myself.

Going to the doctor should be uneventful.  I don’t even know what I’m going to tell him.  Do I have it in me to fake being slightly ok?  Nah.  I think I’ll just be meh.  I didn’t even get my chance to cry, because that’s the funny thing about these drugs.  I can’t think backwards to cry about stuff.  I either need to cry at that exact moment the bad thing is happening, or that’s it.  The moment is lost.  Then I just get to feel empty.

So after I finally get dressed, I’m going to go wander around Target with that look on my face.  You know the one…random suburban girl unimpressed with everything, brain drugs not working, not satisfied with her life and wants more out of it.  With a North Face jacket on.  Well shit, wouldn’t you know…just as I was writing this my anxiety kicked in about going to Target.  Maybe I’ll just do laundry.

Sometimes I get to the new post site and have no idea what to type out.  Hence there seems to be a lot of rambling about eating and TV and family jokes that nobody else might understand (disrespecting the driveway, you could fit in that, your face, etc).  And I’m sure people don’t really care to read about my updates on what I’m making my Sims do…I have a ghost baby now!  It’s awesome, I made my regular Sim do it with a ghost Sim.  Hahaha, she was all like “that was awesome” and two seconds later “Ohhh a ghost!”  Sims are dumb.  I’m sure you don’t want to hear my rant about Kelly Ripa either, but she better stop flouncing around with those Electrolux appliances that are SUPPOSED TO BE MINE. 

FYI I love appliances.  I even considered doing laundry at AK’s house when I was house sitting, but I didn’t want to break the new machines because I hadn’t been shown how to use them. 

Anyway, I think at this point in my life you could say there are bears on the road.  I actually thought that one of the signs on 494 said that today…but it really said “Debris on 62″ uhhhh yeah and I just got new contacts.  In my defense, I was looking into the sunset.  The G6 and I are just driving on the road of life, because the G6 is basically my child, and we’re stopped in traffic.  Why?  Because there are some bears on the road.  Bears = growling shit flingers that are making my life difficult.  How do we get rid of the bears? 

Well according to “The Great Outdoors” throw them some Zagnut bars and drive off with the bears on top of your car.  I don’t really want that.  I don’t want to feed the bears any more than I already have.  They’ve gotten enough out of me with the depression, anxiety and job hating, lack of love life and inability to save money.  I can either drive around the bears, shoot them or become friends with them.  Oh wait, I can create a diversion too. 

Why can’t my life be like an episode of Full House?  I’d learn a lot of lessons, quickly.

Yesterday afternoon, I was sitting at my computer wasting time. You know, “facebooking”, reading gossip blogs, playing stupid games. I was waiting for one particular website to load, and frustrated, I started hitting the “refresh” button. As I was sitting there waiting, I thought to myself, wouldn’t it be awesome if we had a “refresh” button for our lives? When things are going bad, when we feel stuck in a rut, there was a little green button we could press, and know that it wasn’t going to stay that way for long.

And that’s what inspired me to start this blog. I am all of those things I mentioned before. I’m frustrated, stuck in a rut, confused, don’t know what to do with my life. (Hence why I was wasting time on aforementioned activities). So it was then I decided to hit the “refresh” button on my life. Starting today, my life is being refreshed. It’s a process, a journey, and this time, I plan to enjoy it. Life has thrown some big struggles my way. And I’m doing exactly that  – “struggling” through them. There is no “back” button in my life, no “escape” and no “ctrl, alt, del”. But I’ve decided that there is a “refresh”, and I just pressed it.

“We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves, otherwise we harden”
–Johann von Goethe

Do you feel like you’re stuck in a rut? Are you caught up in the same old routine day after day and feel like you’re getting nowhere? Do you feel like you are capable of having more, doing more, and being more?

Our lives are full of repetitious activities from eating to sleeping to brushing our teeth. We travel to work on the same roads, or train, or bus day after day. We take the same elevator, we encounter the same people, we do the same work, we go home, eat, sleep and start all over again. Some repetition is useful and necessary – too much seems to lead to the formation of a rut.

Whenever I start to feel like I’m in a rut I change things up a little. I’ll throw a party, go out with a friend I haven’t seen in awhile, set new goals, go someplace I haven’t been before, find a new recipe to cook, change how I exercise, or learn something new. I don’t like being bored. What do you do to get out of a rut? If you feel like you’re stuck in a rut then keep reading.

How To Get Out of a Rut:

1 – First realize that you are actually stuck in a rut. Coming home from work everyday and just vegging in front of the tv until you go to sleep is a good indicator that you are in a rut.

2 – Figure out the source of your rut. Look at the areas of your life you consider ruts – what activity did you do repetitively that got you into the rut? Why was it a good thing at first and not good now?

3 – Do you want to get out of the rut?

But if we say we don’t like the rut – are we sure we really want it to go away? We must sometimes examine the reasons for our ruts. It may be there to protect us from some pain we perceive that the effort to change would cause.

Most of us don’t change (behaviors, attitudes, relationships) until the pain gets great enough. This doesn’t need to be physical pain – psychological and emotional pain can cause us to change as well. The desire to get out of a rut – in our relationships, our jobs, our free time – will only motivate us when the alternatives become unattractive enough.

So your first task in rut busting is to honestly ask yourself if the pain you feel is sufficient to move you in some other direction. If the answer is “no” then the next task is to begin to add reasons to change. Start a list – write down as many reasons as you can to change and a second list of reasons to let things remain “as is.” -Hal Warfield, “Rut Busting: How You Got Into a Rut and How to Get Out”

4 – Embrace Change.

“If you don’t like something change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” –Maya Angelou

Unfortunately, most people hate change, and despise it with a passion. But, life is always in the process of change. There is nothing in life that is stagnant. We are either in the process of growth or in the process of decay.

Look what happens to a fruit after it reaches it’s ripest stage… it rots.

Change is the only thing that is constant in life. It’s always happening, and we are either moving forward in life or we are moving backward.

Life is all about change and there is no escaping it. Change is good, and a person is the most happy when he or she is working toward a goal. That’s why “success” is not a destination to be reached. “Success” is the journey! And, along the journey there will obviously be change.

Who really wants to experience a life without a challenge? Be honest, how bored would you be with nothing to strive toward? -Daniel N. Brown, “How To Get Out of a Rut”

5 – Define what inspires you.

There’s a big difference between taking action out of inspiration versus desperation. What are you good at? What are you doing when you feel most fulfilled? What would you do for absolutely free? What moves you emotionally? When you answer these questions you’ll begin to uncover the things that inspire you. Maybe you feel you’re working a dead-end job in a field you’re not passionate about, but love sports and have always dreamed of working in athletics. Then apply for assistant coaching positions or coach a Little League team. Do it because you love it, not for the money. The money will come if you consistently act out of inspiration. An inspired individual enthusiastically rises every morning ready to face the day head-on, knowing that challenges and obstacles are nothing more than speed bumps along the road to success, wealth and fulfillment. You must first get clear on what moves you and you’ll see your life start to head in an exciting new direction. -James Ray, “5 Steps to Get Out of a Rut”

6 – Develop a plan of action against the rut.

“Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.” –Benjamin Disraeli

- Set goals

- Set challenges

- Set clear intentions – Goals are finish lines, but intention is the process of achievement. An intention has resolve, discipline and commitment. Once you’ve established what truly inspires and moves you, the next step is to set a clear intention to guide your unconscious mind. Be specific. How many pounds do you want to lose in the next 90 days? How much money do you want to earn over the next year? How many dates do you want to go on over the next two months? Then envision what your life will look like once you’ve achieved your intention. When you create a strong enough reason within you, you get it done. Understanding this gives you the edge – but applying it will yank you out of your rut. -James Ray

7 – Stay Positive. Feed your brain positive information. Focus on the present. Don’t spend time regretting the past. Learn to manage your thoughts. Don’t keep complaining. Keep your attention focused on your intention.

8 – Action. Do something different. Try new things. Learn a new skill. Spend time with enthusiastic people.

- Creative activities such as art, music, and writing can be very stress relieving and give you an outlet to express yourself.

- Join a club, engage in new tasks at work, exercise, try a new exercise, read articles or books about others who have achieved great things, learn a new hobby, take lessons, read books on the subject, connect with people with a similar passion, turn off the television, go back to school, sleep more, eat better/healthier, find new recipes to try, try different ethnic foods, try new restaurants, do something for other people, volunteer, incorporate humor, look at things from a different perspective, hire a coach, get counseling, learn time management, learn stress management.

9 – Express Gratitude for all you currently have in your life.

Gratitude is an extremely powerful force. It ramps up your energy levels, puts you in a positive head space and makes what you want in life rush toward you with great intensity. Regardless of your current income, present physical health or success in relationships, you have a thousand reasons to be thankful. When you focus on what you’re grateful for and express gratitude daily for all that you’ve been gifted, the universe will respond with continuously expanding opportunity. -James Ray

10 – Take enthusiastic action each and every day.

It’s not enough to simply think and feel that you’re ready to get out of your rut. You have to go 3-for-3 with your thoughts, feelings and actions all firing in alignment. Fate favors the bold — so act boldly. It’s important that you live from your outcome versus moving toward it. What would a person in top physical condition eat today? What would a multi-millionaire read and what types of people would he communicate with? Once you’re clear on what it is that you want in life, and act with resolve every single day, you’ll generate previously inconceivable results and your life will become a great adventure. -James Ray

I was incredibly blessed to be able to take a class with Nancy this summer!

Related post at my personal blog: Self-Portrait: “Bridge to Somewhere”

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NORTH AMERICAN NATURE PHOTOGRAPHY ASSOCIATION

PHOTOGRAPHY AND THE CREATIVE LIFE with Nancy Rotenberg
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“I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill but always keep that hunger
And when you get the choice
to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance…I hope you dance.”

— Mark D. Sanders and Tia Sillers

“In most men,” wrote Augustin de Saint Beuve,” there is a dead poet whom the man survives.” Why does the poet die so young? Why are so many men and women limping along the trail of life, the doors to their hearts tightly bolted? What happened to the light we had as small children when we were filled with awe and excitement? Where or when did we learn that original thinking is wrong? At what point did we begin to follow the path of others’ perceptions of who we should be? How do you want to travel on the journey that is your one precious life? How do you get home to your one authentic self?

We can’t always find the answers to these questions but we can cultivate a way of living that celebrates uniqueness and we can travel deeper into our seeing. As we journey, we can develop a quality of mind that not only enriches the creative process in art, but results in a return to our true souls and to a more imaginative, richer state of being.

THE DRAGONS:

There are dragons that roam the wilderness of creative quests. If left to run amok, they can inhibit the most determined artist. The creative process transforms you, the artist, into a creative warrior – arming you to slay the dragons or at least keep them at bay.

The first step is to develop the courage to venture into the unknown, to climb into the mode of exploration – of subject and light, of assumed boundaries of photography and on paths that travel beyond personal horizons.

The dragons that plague the creative process appeal to the part of your mind that deals with product and ego. The way to combat these dragons and to discover images that grow from your heart and soul is not by searching in the drawers of your mind.

Prevailing mythology has it that creativity is a gift of some sort, but really it is a state of being – a quality of mind available to all. In a creative mind, the world is unique, has beauty, and is filled with potential. Creativity is an attitude. Creativity is like being in love – with life and with yourself. Creativity doesn’t have a simple definition, but we know that it is an ongoing process and it is about the search to discover the place where truth, beauty and fire live.

Joseph Campbell said, “If the path before you is clear, you’re probably on someone else’s.” Campbell knew that we don’t always know where we’re going or what the path will look like, but on the photographic path, the creative warrior knows photographic technique, owns great optics and good tripods, but that is not where they stop. On this path, craft is fine and necessary, but this is a search for transcending technical knowledge and is the quest for imagination and love.

[…]

DARE TO BE IDLE:

Learn to slow down and dare to be idle. We live in a culture that looks at idleness as something slovenly, lazy, and non-productive. It is only when you stop and reflect, that you can be filled and recharged. What you photograph today will be the result of yesterday’s “idling.”

[…]

To be on a creative path, we must work at ridding our thought processes of internal judges, worrying about winning camera club ribbons, or impressing editors. Photography should not be a competitive sport.

[…]

Have the courage and conviction to do whatever works for you. Do not let the appetites of those who “need” to stay in the box consume your taste for creativity.

[…]

We can’t blame the people around us who try to thwart our artistic expression. They don’t know any better. We can choose however, to trust what we know and who we are. We can move through fear and soar with the wings of our original creative selves. Eleanor Roosevelt knew this when she wrote, “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

[…]

When viewers ask the question, “How long did it take you to get this shot?” There should be only one answer – “My whole life.” And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, make sure that you step onto the dance floor of a creative life and enjoy your dance.
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Entire Article Here as PDF File

Related: Emerson: The Greatest Accomplishment — “Be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else”

I’ve spoken about how I feel stuck in a rut lately.  I feel like writing about my life has become boring because I’m not doing much right now.  I’m like a cat, ready to pounce on something exciting and whatnot.  Trailing off…I’m just restless I think.  Eh that might not even be the right emotion.  I just want to be inspired about things, I want to write stories, I want to have a challenge.

I think I can’t be without school right now.  I need to have some guidance somehow, and most of the time I’m on track I happen to be in school.  We are not counting the years from 1998 to 2003.  That was a total departure from my normal style.  I don’t have a reason to procrastinate because I don’t have anything to do.  Maybe that’s what I’m fretting about…lack of reason to procrastinate?  Maybe it’s so inherently part of my DNA structure that I can’t function without it?

I would just like to write to write.  Nothing really about me, just writing in general.  Like going to Caribou and pounding on the keyboard for a wHile.  I need some creative writing prompts.  I should hang out at bookstores.  I should hang out at readings and talk to authors.  I’m just not sure of where to start.  I’m fully aware that making money as an author is not really a money making venture…I’d be doing it for the fun.

Today I have spent my time leisurely not doing much of anything. Wait, I take that back. I changed the language on my Facebook page to English (Pirate). Yes, I realize I’m like three years behind the fad but it’s hilarious. It’s also 6 PM and I’ve spent the past three hours watching Gangland on the History Channel. That’s how bored I am. And honestly, gangs are scary.

I don’t want to start something that i won’t finish all the way in. To be specific, my intimate relationships. I’ve been half assing it for a long time now. I am 24 years old and have lived a stagnant life for the past 8 years. I wonder what the next day holds even though I think I know what giong to happen, probably the same thing.

Im sitting here eating my breakfast sandwich, washing clothes, and f*cking around on the internet. I paused for a moment and a thought hit me: I feel stuck.

Im not moving forward or backwards. Im just here.Everything is moving fast, but Im not going anywhere.

I feel like Im not doing enough. Im only doing enough to get by. Im only doing enough just so that I can say Im doing it. I feel like Im half-assing it. This may or may not be true, but that’s how Im feeling. I guess I feel this way because Im looking around me & I notice everybody is off doing & being. Me, Im just tryna get by. Im trying to make it through the last 6 classes. Im just trying to find a job. Im just trying to get my sh*t together. Nothings happening the way I want it to happen though.

Im not mad or complaining(Im used to sh*t like this), I just want something different. I need a change. Tired of being stuck in the same f*cking spot. “Then do something about it, Jaye.” Yea…

I want to write more, but nothing’s coming to me. That’s the only thought I had.

can I catch a f*cking break tho??

Stuck in a writing rut.  That’s hard to say, also hard to say: our audit.  Try it, I dare you.

So more interesting news on the match.com front.  I have been talking to a different guy and he sounds coo.  I’m excited to meet him tomorrow, as we are going to get a drink after work.  He claims he’ll be wearing a bright rainbow colored clown wig, as I informed him I would be wearing a bright blue Snuggie.  He sent me a text today asking for my last name to go with my phone number, as he has a pet peeve about having the first and last name of people in his phone.  Uhhh, wow.  That’s one of my biggest pet peeves, as you might recall from other times I’ve mentioned that on here.

After exchanging mutual “whoas” that were hopefully in the tone of Joey from “Blossom,” we determined that tomorrow would be a good day to go out.  I am sooooo trying hard not to get my hopes up about this, but we’ve been having quite the awesome email exchange and I need to chill out about it.

Ugh, day three of procrastination week trudges on.  I’m worried.  I’m really really really really worried that I’m not going to like what I’ll produce for my final school project even though it’s all just shuffling around in my head.  So a bit of that is aiding in the procrastination.  And I got the notification that my government student loan is back on the books for needing to be paid.  I’m going to freak out once my bank loans are up, because those WILL NOT be pretty.

I had a dream last night that I was a pharmacist, except they didn’t train me how to do anything in school.  My boss was pissed.  Wonder what the hell that means.

We live in a fast-paced world. It’s very easy to neglect ourselves. We focus on work, getting the kids to school, passing exams, paying bills…Stress leaves us tired, foggy, and grabbing for a quick energy fix like foods high in sugar. It becomes such a habit that we accept that this is how we are supposed to feel. It isn’t until we get some relief that we realize we have become stuck in a rut.

That is how I was before I started eating Mila. I had accepted I would never have the energy to exercise. I had accepted that my memory recall would always be slow. I had accepted that coffee would always be my lifeline.

Now, I won’t lie and say that I only eat healthy food, my memory is superb, and I exercise 2 hours everyday.  No, I still occasionally eat junk food and drink a cup of coffee. I also only exercise most days of the week and not for 2 hours (hey, I’m still in this crazy fast-paced world). My memory isn’t like it was when I was a child, but I don’t rely on coffee to keep me sharp.

But, the point is, there has been an improvement and I would never have realized my life could be better if I hadn’t tried Mila.

“The past few months the internet has become less-interesting” -My Husband (who is a web designer)

I had to laugh when he said that because, the internet is his job! But I also have to agree with him. I don’t spend hours roaming the internet like I used to. I don’t really care to navigate the blogosphere (ironic I know) and I’m just tired of it [the internet]. Of course there are a few blogs that I check daily, usually more than once a day because, I haven’t found anything else interesting to look at. Facebook is also losing it’s pull. I mainly get on to see what’s going on with friends, not really chatting to anyone or updating my status. It is kind of weird to me to be in this “cyber-rut” of sorts. I don’t really have the energy at this point to seek out new, fun information. My husband and are are super busy with work, church, my own blog, his blog, our kiddo, day to day life that we have lost that zeal to search out new, interesting sites/blogs. Is that weird? I don’t think we are alone in this. I hope we aren’t alone in this.

aaaaaaaah, the Sunscreen Song.. anyone who was a born around 1984 will remember the “Sunscreen Song” – it was the national anthem of the 90’s man…. for a trip down memory lane on the very poigant lyrics, click here: http://www.generationterrorists.com/quotes/sunscreen.html

Wasn’t that truly AWESOME? Maybe I am just really sad (or have really low expectations in the motivational stakes) but I reckon that is just as cool as it was back in 1997 (fuck wow I am old)…

In response to last weeks post about how I was feeling so stuck in a rut because I am so worried about the future, I thought this paragraph was rather apt:

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

and she is so right (yep, it WAS a woman who originally said this: Mary Schmich, Chicago Tribune) – worrying is pointless. At the same time, I seem to recall someone (famous / rich / both) saying “failing to plan, is planning to fail.” So I guess it’s really important to find the balance between the two…

Hence, my solution!

After being stuck in this radonklous rut, I’ve decided to embrace my health and buy a mountain bike. Yup. It was between this, Guitar Hero and a holiday to Mauritius. In the end, the practicality of the bike won out. I can use it to take fun, inexpensive bike trips / holidays to fun places – thereby increasing my travelling, getting me nice and fit and helping me do something different. I might also get to wear Spandex (like the line from the song says: Do one thing every day that scares you…. I definitely think Spandex falls into this category..)

I also have resolved to keep a NEW THINGS diary (for lack of a more original and snappy name). Every day, I have to write down something new that I did / learnt / saw etc. Just one thing a day… it can be as simple as walking on a beach I never been too, or trying a new cottage cheese flavour… just something different for a change…  I think I’ll really snap out of this rut quickly without having to go and live in a Kibbutz and pick apples for the next 12 years (seriously was considering it as an option)

so ya; I’ll keep you all updated on the biking thing… and remember…

trust me on the sunscreen.

/sigh… so I woke up this morning to a phone call from work which I didn’t answer.  I’m having one of those days where I hate everything – I feel like I’m in a rut.  I really hate my job!  I guess I should be grateful for being fortunate for having this job but its so shitty and boring and annoying and infuriating and I want to burn this building down.  I’m so bored out of my fucking mind at the moment.  People look like their busy and have work to do, except me.  You’d think I’d have work the built up over the weekend but nothing, nothing at all.  I’m bored out of my fucking mind and I’m grumpy. 

I’ve come to realize that I’m the type of person that needs some sort of structured job where theres routine, much like my old job.   It keeps me busy with knowing what to do next and what needs to get done.  I’m in a position now where I have to rely on other people to make sure things are done, correctly.  But there are so many moronic twits out there that don’t give a shit about what they’re doing that it makes my job painful and annoying.  I wish I could make people’s heads blow up just by thinking of it.

I hate the people I work with, the people upstairs, and most people downstairs.  You’re probably thinking, what the fuck is wrong with this guy [one of the directors was just here and I had to make it look like I wasn’t doing anything personal on company time], all he does is bitches and moans and hates everything and everyone – he should just kill himself!  Ha!

Its only 1pm…I don’t think I’ve done anything all day except for make a phone call to enquire about deliveries and stock and send a few emails.  A trained monkey can do my job.  Actually, on that, I said that about my old job and it seems they can’t find any monkeys at all.  There is one there who is a cocky bastard who knows nothing about basic mathematics and the other one who got fired for his incompetence who was still on training the day he left.  He worked there for about two months. 

You know this is so sad, it seems like my life revolves around work.  Sadly it does and I don’t even like work!  And I don’t even have a lot of work to do!  I need to find a hobby and need to get out more to bars and such.  If only I liked alcohol.  Speaking of which, I did some wine tasting a few weeks back.  It was very interesting and I got to sample some, with food, at work.  It didn’t do it for me.  The connoisseur was like, can you taste this and how this wine brings out this flavor… I couldn’t’ taste what he was on about and was like “mmm thats yummy”.  I felt like a small child who had no idea what I was going on about. 

“Did you get those tampons yet, Greg?” is what Chris asked me.  I looked at him thinking “jeeze I can’t go into a chemist looking to buy tampons – how embarrassing”.  Then he looked at me with a smile and said “don’t worry I’ll get them”.  This was after I went downstairs to ask him about pretzels because some idiot was looking for some to which I told her to ask Chris – she looked at me with a blank stare and I thought “fuck it – I’ll go downstairs and ask myself”.  Do you see how riveting my day is?  Its soooo fascinating.  I’ve got to go downstairs to work in Ops in a bit.  I hate that fucking place but it will give me something to do.  Its one of those jobs where you interact with so many people which means that there is a greater chance of coming across a complete noobtard which just fucks up your day. 

I wonder if people are happy doing their usual 9am to 5pm jobs.  I really find it hard to believe that we, as a society, work 40+hrs a week just to stay alive.  Its baffling.  Why wouldn’t people go out and party and travel and like climb things?  It seems as they’d rather sit in an office between the hours of 9am to 5pm typing away on their computers or on the phone.  Kill me please…

I can remember, many, many years ago, when I was just an anygirl, finishing up my junior year of high school.  I felt like I was killing myself with the school work, the AP classes, the activities, the admissions essays and the SATs, praying that my lack of social life, free time, and sanity (if you come right down to it) would pay off.  And that’s when the lie started:

“It’s just for a little while.  Soon you’ll be in college, and things will be different.”

And sure enough, after I got to college, things were different.  A lot different, in fact: the work was harder, the classes were longer, the teachers – now called professors with all these letters behind their names -  were a lot more inflexible.  And sure, enough, I lied to myself again:

“It’s just for a little while.  Soon you’ll be in grad school, and things will be different.”

I don’t think that I need to continue.  I just say, enough’s enough.

Nobody ever wakes up one day and is suddenly Kelly Ripa, the apparent queen of  balancing an amazing career and a picture-perfect family, all encased by her cute little figure and perky smile.  Sometime along the way, you have to realize, whether it’s as a high school student or a working mother with three kids, that the only way you will ever have it all on the macro scale (your life) is to balance and enjoy it all on the micro scale (your day).

I myself found balance in the midst of grad school.  It took a while, but once I started making my family, boyfriend, friends, and pets a priority with deadlines (that is, a deadline for quality time by the end of the day), I really found that my life had more enjoyment, fulfillment, and purpose.  Soon I started adding in time for running and journaling myself, too (hence why I’m here, might as well get feedback from it!).  And I started to find that I was no longer working today in hopes for some sort of dream-like time that was as elusive as a golden unicorn.  I was, gasp, living for today, but still preparing for tomorrow.    Sort-of like what financial experts say about spending a little today and saving/investing for tomorrow.  Sorta. 

But what surprised me most was that I was still getting the work done, even when I was devoting more hours to enjoyable activities with family and my boyfriend and my friends.  I almost looked forward to working, and I got a lot more done in the time that I had allotted to it.  Plus, there was a noticeable increase in my concentration level – I guess it’s a lot easier to focus for 4 hours straight than 6 (or, for some of you crazy professionals, 8 than 12, or something like that).

If it’s possible, try to cut back.  How?  Here are the five sources that saved my own sanity, which I revisit often:

• Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, and It’s Small Small Stuff by Richard Carlson.  A classic and a former New York Times #1 bestseller, and for a reason.  Give it a shot – you have nothing to lose but the stress!  (Amazon.com does offer a money-back guarantee policy, haha).
• Finding Your North Star by Martha Beck. One of Oprah’s advisers (who happens to charge $1500 per hour for personal consultations), Beck knows her stuff.  And while some of the exercises and quizzes in the book may seem a little strange and pointless at first, after you get going, you realize, “Damn!  This woman knows her stuff.”  And that stuff is the you you’re meant to be.  I wish I was kidding or conning you, but I’m not.  You’ll love it.  I know I do.
• ZenHabits by Leo Babauta. Babauta has one of the most popular blogs on the internet.  The man essentially woke up one day, decided that he couldn’t live this way anymore, got himself completely out of debt, into a new job, and lost 25 pounds or so.  The man now lives in Guam with his wife and six children (!) and manages to work as an editor while managing one of the most popular blogs ever.  Um, I’m impressed.  What can I say.  His blog shares near-daily tips on how to manage your life.  I’m addicted.

This is my first post, woohoo!

I don’t do much, I don’t have much to say really. Nothing of massive interest anyway!

I’m pretty much just the average tomboy sort of girl, just turned 20 and and stuck in a bit of a rut at the moment. So maybe this could potentially be interesting for someone to read, I guess.

My parents are divorced, I live with my mam in the house I’ve grown up in and my dad lives 10mins away from me, it’s not too bad, but it messed me up when I was younger and they were separating.

My mam and her boyfriend are planning on moving to Spain within the next year and I’m not sure if I want to go with them or if I want to stay here, but, the way things are going at the minute, I don’t have much of a reason to stay here, really don’t want to hurt my dad though.

Erm. Well. That’s about all I can think of to write at the moment, and I’m going to help a friend of mine move house today, she has a lot of packing to do for her and her almost-one-year-old son.

On a side note - it’s mad how many people I see from school with babies, there’s probably half of my academic year bringing up offspring!

I’ll get in touch later I think, get the hang of this a bit more.

Tezza x

It seems like I have been stuck in a rut for a while now. I mean I remember being motivated. In college I would not go to bed the first night until I had unpacked everything, and everything was in it’s place. We have been in our new house for 2 weeks and I still haven’t finished painting, things are definitely not unpacked and the hall bathroom still needs a good scrub.

To be completely honest I’ve been stuck in a rut much longer than 2 weeks, it’s been a while and I desperately want to bust out of it, but haven’t been able to. If you Google “stuck in a rut” you’ll get 10 pages of results, motivational things dominate the pages but towards the end you get into bands and things. Examples of what those articles say to do: conscious breathing techniques, try something new, get outside, pamper yourself, clean out the clutter, make manageable goals, exercise, be social, meditate and on and on.

My lack of motivation is affecting the unpacking. I am still doing it, very slowly and I am clearing out clutter. Although cleaning out stuff we don’t use does make me happy, I still feel like I’m in a rut. I don’t feel pumped to finish unpacking or even taking those things to a charity/having a garage sale. I’ve tried thinking of new dinner ideas, I made a new friend, I do a lot of activities with my son, however, that creative/fun side has still gone into hibernation. I can’t decide where to hang decorations, if we should hang on to certain items or garage sale them… Also, I don’t care to find the rest of my kitchen towels/washcloths, my husband is the one who became fed up and searched out our kitchen knife set (thank you honey.) I don’t know where our toothbrush holder is either, and although it irks me every time I brush my teeth that have to get my toothbrush out of my travel kit, I still haven’t made it out to the mass of boxes in the garage to find it. Ugg. Really, that is how I feel. And I guess my stuck in a rut-ness extends far outside of just unpacking.

What do you do when you feel like your attempts to get out of the rut are failing?

My plan… I feel almost as if this is my last-ditch effort to help kick me out of the rut… a party. Two parties actually. My little boy is having a birthday, so we’re going to have just a few friends over for that, and then a house-warming. No date set for the house-warming yet, but the birthday is only 2 weeks away and should give me motivation to clean up, put away, and hopefully finish painting what is still in the middle of the process… wish me luck.

Tonight i’ll go home from work, eat dinner in front of the tv, maybe fall asleep for a little while, bring my kid to bed, then sit in silence and mumble answers to anything said to me. I might read to distract myself.
Sometimes i wish a great tragedy would befall me, so that something could happen. The i curse myself for even thinking it, because if i think it, it might happen, and what would i do then if something were to happen to the only person in this world I can be said to actually and unconditionally love?
I couldn’t live with myself. Literally.
I might go out instead, and walk around for a while. Who knows. I just hate leaving work, feeling good to be out of here, then feeling bad again half way to home because I know the monotony that awaits me there.