Yes, you should vote for us. I am not a big awards guy, but we have some nominations, (thanks Kev and the whole crew at rumproast!) and I thought that we should pimp ourselves a little bit!

Voting is open for two more days, so get out there and vote for us in best hidden gem! (click on the link to take you there to the place to vote us up!

or you can go here to vote for us http://2009.weblogawards.org/nominations/best-hidden-gem/index.php#comment-21001

What is your stupid human trick?

Last one, I promise.  (Unless something really wild comes along.)

Carrie Prejean

Carrie’s latest cross to bear?  Her appearance on Larry King Live didn’t go so well.  Larry asked a rather vague question about her recent court settlement, and the former Miss California USA pageant winner went into a snit, telling King that his question was “inappropriate”.  It would seem Miss Prejean hasn’t had any coaching in how to deflect a question she doesn’t want to answer.  She’s still in the “poor little ole’ me, everyone’s picking on me just because I don’t think gays should have any rights” mode. She tried to take her microphone off and storm out, but apparently even that didn’t come off as planned.  Poor little Carrie, can’t even pull off a snit correctly!

Another burden for our beauty queen to deal with came when her former boyfriend announced that  Carrie had done the “solo” sex video for him, and that there was more than just the one!  Carrie’s claim that she was a foolish 17 year old when the video was made was disputed by her former paramour, who says she was twenty at the time it was recorded.

The religious right first championed Carrie,  who became their darling when Perez Hilton went into queen bitch mode on his blog about her response to his question during the pageant about same-sex marriage.  Carrie was instantly the right-wing Princess who was being hated on by the evil homosexual activists for standing up for Christian morality.  Milking that for all she could, she was trotted out around the country at right-wing events.  She got herself into hot water with the Donald (owner of the Miss USA pageants) after failing to appear at pageant events, and showing up at those unsanctioned right-wing events.  The Donald finally told her “YOU”RE FIRED!”, and she sued for “religious discrimination” in her employment.  That’s when the “solo” act surfaced, and the trial was suddenly settled with all parties signing non-disclosure agreements.  The wingnut cancellations began immediately (see my previous post).

How much you want to bet she ends up doing weather for some TV station in Orange County?  Or maybe Fox will put her in her own show.  They’ll have a slot to fill after Glenn Beck is gone, assuming the fantasies he believes come true.

If you can’t stop something based on merit, just be a jerk!

Because this woman would destroy both of you combined.

I would like to see him and Tim Lincecum go at it for biggest bong rip…but instead, he is making putts…

How is it that if some asshole yells, e.g., ”Faggot!” or “Nigger!” and then murders the object of his misguided standard, he is guilty of a hate crime, but when another Muslim asshole yells “Allahu Akhbar!” and then murders 13 and wounds 30 more, our president doesn’t want us “jumping to conclusions” that he might be a terrorist?

I always felt that if you murdered (and I use the term “murder” instead of kill for the obvious legal reason) someone, regardless of the reason, you are either crazy, or you hate them, or both.

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2009/11/10/stiletto-hasan-crazy-terrorist-jihadi-military/

Well? I’m waiting.

Miss California USA Pageant Winner Carrie Prejean

In the latest round of the saga of poor Carrie Prejean,  a sex tape of the former Miss California USA has been introduced into the plot.    As you’ll recall, Miss Prejean became a darling of the right wing after coming in second in the Miss USA contest.  Her response to a question on same-sex marriage, not noted for it’s intelligence or delivery, even if a dearly held belief of Miss Prejean’s,  became instant fodder for the judge who asked the question, on-line gossip Perez Hilton. Quickly taken up by the religious right, who echoed her claims that she lost the Miss USA crown due to her “moral” stand on same-sex marriage,  her cause became a national sensation, portrayed as an attack on her personal “family values” beliefs.  The latest chapter in this never-ending saga now includes reports of a video of Miss Prejean in a solo performance of a sexual nature.

Early on, Prejean was depicted as the darling of the right.  Beautiful, charming, and a firm defender of family values,  the right immediately took up the battle to defend her against the savage attacks of the homosexual activists who want to destroy America and it’s families.    Prejean toured the country, appearing at right wing religious affairs, defending her position on same-sex marriage with statements that, when translated into  Hollywood-speak, were basically “but….  I’m a beauty queen!”.   Donald Trump got into the act, first supporting Prejean, then later firing her after she continued to ignore the contract she signed with the pageant (owned by Trump).  You can’t get away with ignoring the Donald for very long, even if you’re Miss California!

The first bump on Prejean’s road to disaster may have been the revelation that the Miss California USA pageant paid $5,200 for breast enhancement surgery for Miss Prejean before the Miss USA pageant.  At the time, the Pageant defended the practice as “quite common” in the industry.

Next, she failed to inform the Pageant of appearances she was making at conservative and religious gatherings, as required in her contract.  She also failed to appear at events scheduled by the Pageant.  Prejean’s explanations for these issues also translated into “but…. I’m a beauty queen!”.   The Donald fired her, she sued, and the Pageant sued back.

The lawsuit by Prejean was dropped recently, however, when the news of a sex tape starring Miss Prejean in a solo performance was announced.  Rather than risk it making it out to the internet,  Prejean and her legal team settled with the Pageant, and withdrew her lawsuit.  Terms were sealed in a confidentiality agreement.

The tarnished crown still follows Miss Prejean, however.  Tonight’s appearance at “Defenders of the Family” will not include the former beauty queen.

If you were planning on attending, you’ll have to make due with Bill and George, instead.

It will be interesting to see if Carrie can pull out of her nose dive and restore her crown, at least with the religious right.  The tape may be the straw that broke the right-wing’s back, however, and Miss Prejean may become another example of hypocrisy in action.  The Queen is dead!  Long live the Queen!

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/10/28/MNBN1ABKB8.DTL

http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/state_regional/state_regional_govtpolitics/article/kaine_says_democrats_faced_uphill_battles/303574/

“Kaine said that ‘in each state, the president’s approval ratings are better today than the share of the vote he received in each state in 2008.’“

That is not reflected in the most recent Richmond Times-Dispatch poll, conducted Oct. 28-29, in which Obama’s 43 percent favorability rating matched his 43 percent unfavorability rating. In 2008, Obama received 52.6 percent of the nearly 3.7 million votes in Virginia’s presidential contest.”

This is what is known among some people familiar with a dictionary as a “lie.” Nice try, Mr, Eyebrows.

I really don’t have much to say about this one…actually I do and when I have to say, ” What in the hell is this world coming to?” then you know it is bad.

An 11-year-old girl became one of the world’s youngest mothers – and went into labour on the way to her wedding.

Kordeza Zhelyazkova, from Sliven in Bulgaria, was still wearing her wedding dress and tiara as she was rushed to hospital, where she gave birth to 5lb 8oz Violeta.

Proudly displaying her baby, she told reporters: ‘I’m not going to play with toys any more – I have a new toy now.’

My new toy: Korteza Zhelyazkova, 11, shows off her baby Violeta – the 19-year-old father is facing six years in jail for having sex with a minor.This is the thing that is wrong with parenting.  Now,  I believe that you should have to have a license to have a kid now.  You should have to pass a test and go to some parenting classes.  A child is not a toy.

Kordeza – who fell pregnant within two weeks of her 11th birthday – spent the night in hospital with Violeta and then headed back to church for her wedding with 19-year-old Jeliazko Dimitrov.

Kordeza told the News of the World: ‘It feels strange to be a mum and have a baby.

‘I used to play with my toys but now she is my new toy.

‘She is so beautiful, I love her. Violeta is the child and I must grow up. I am not going back to school – I am a mother now.’

See….that is the silliest and most naive thing that could have come out of her mouth.  What skill set do you have that can earn money for your family?  Don’t you know that you don’t have to stay at home and raise a family?  You were going to school to better yourself.  You have a chance to NOT be dependent on the system for your survival.  Don’t become another welfare mom.

The couple met when Jeliazko rescued Kordeza from bullies in the playground.

However he now faces six years in jail for having sex with a minor, telling the paper his fears when he found out Kordeza was pregnant.

He said: ‘I was really scared.

‘We didn’t plan to have sex or a baby although I fell in love with Kordeza the moment I saw her.

Don’t worry Jeliazko, someone is going to fall in love with you at first site too.

You will be the bell of the ball....good luck to the new Ms. Jeliazko Dimitrov

Plus, what were you doing hanging out at the playground?  That alone seems pretty creepy, like Herbert.

Herbert the pervert is what to think about when you think about this union...

He added: ‘I was walking past the school when I saw some boys mocking her and I told them to leave her alone.

‘Then she arranged to meet me and asked me out on our first date. I thought she was 15. She didn’t tell me she was 11.’

Kordeza added: ‘I didn’t want to say in case he wouldn’t fancy me.’

Their daughter was conceived within a week of their meeting.

Kordeza said: ‘I didn’t know I was pregnant until my grandmother saw I had put on weight. I just thought I’d eaten too many burgers.’

Her grandmother Dida, 55, said: ‘It’s normal for our girls to have babies young. It’s our tradition. But I didn’t want it for my Kordeza – I felt she was too young.’

The family planned a three-day Roma wedding for October 22 – so Kordeza and Jeliazko could be married before the baby was born.

But Kordeza went into labour a week early, on the second day of the ceremony.

She said: ‘I had been having pain in the morning and a couple of hours into the wedding it got worse.’

She was rushed to hospital and gave birth 20 minutes later.

Kordeza said: ‘It was quite easy but painful too. I was very happy when I saw her. She has a nose like me and hair like Jeliazko.’

Both grandmothers will be guardians of baby Violeta, and Kordeza and her daughter will receive £70 a month in state benefits.

The age of consent in Bulgaria is 14.

The whole story is just shocking to the mind.  The fact that the parents are so blaze about it and I am up in arms has me a little worried…

So there I stood in line at the local grocery store with my measly two items.  There were three checkout lanes open; each one having several people in line and all with no less than 20 items each.  I looked around and chose a lane all the while praying the Express Lane would open.  The cashier at my checkout lane was new to me; he strongly resembled the guy in Two and a Half Men — the tall comedian who plays Judith’s husband?  Anyway, he’s just a tad nervous and twitchy as he’s checking the millions of groceries of the lady ahead of me.  Almost all of her items have run the conveyor gauntlet towards the bagger and it’s at that moment she decides to start pawing through her purse for her coupons.  If I’m lyin’ I’m dyin’, this lady stood there for a good three or four minutes trying to find each and every coupon — now you know most of us savvy shoppers have our handy dandy coupons ready in our chubby little hands along with our credit card or checkbook, but not this woman.

She finally dug them all out and gave them to Mr. Twitchy.  He started scanning, got about halfway through them and one of the coupons wouldn’t ring up.  He stopped everything, walked around his checkout station and over to the bags that were already full and proceeded to go through them looking for the item in question.  Of course I piped up with, “Can’t you scroll through the receipt and look for the item?”  “Nope,” he said, “This new system doesn’t work that way.”  To which I added, “Well, that’s just dumber than dirt.”  He finally found the item.  But now he couldn’t get the little green screen asking him the price of the item to disappear from his cash register read-out.  He kept banging on the keys, but that screen wouldn’t leave.  He called another cashier over and she banged the same key and came to the same conclusion; that screen wasn’t going to disappear.

In the meantime, it’s been about 90 minutes now that I’ve been waiting as the next person in line and, shoot, I only have two items; a pint of Hagen Daz Rum Raisin ice cream, and a jar of salsa.  The lady behind me points at my items and says, “You got a strange combination there.”  I turned to her and replied, “I know and if the ice cream melts, the combination of salsa and ice cream don’t work as well.”  She looked at me and said, “You can’t be serious — you don’t really mix those two, do you??”  I put my best honest look on my face and said, “You only need a dollop of the salsa on top of the ice cream, and I’m telling you it’s the most amazing taste combination I have ever experienced!”  She looked at me a moment longer, then said, “Hmmmph, guess I’ll have to try it.”

By that time I was internally hemorrhaging, ready to wet my pants, and trying to keep a straight face as Mr. Twitchy started humming while he remained steadfast in his efforts to erase that pesky green screen.  He finally pulled out a key from his pocket, unlocked the cash register and pressed some type of reset.  He kept humming and remarked, “Well there we go now; that wasn’t so bad, was it?”  I almost choked, I had tears forming and was on the verge of hysteria.

Where do these people come from and please Lord don’t let them reproduce.  Salsa on ice cream.  It was just too easy.

Alan Grayson, Capitol Hill Whore, again. He may become a regular here(http://layinablog.wordpress.com/2009/10/02/asshole-of-the-week/).

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/27/grayson-calls-linda-rober_n_335447.html

Yes, I evoked the Huffington Post; go figure.

If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes?

If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plan’s holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had made a joke at the expense of the Special Olympics, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly narcissistic and tacky?

If George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia , would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had visited Austria and made reference to the non-existent “Austrian language,” would you have brushed it off as a minor slip?

If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannot seem to keep current on their income taxes, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to “Cinco de Cuatro” in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the fourth of May (Cuatro de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again, would you have winced in embarrassment? 

If George W. Bush had misspelled the word advice would you have hammered him for it for years like Dan Quayle and potatoe as proof of what a dunce he is?

If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on Earth Day, would you have concluded he’s a hypocrite?

If George W. Bush’s administration had okayed Air Force One flying low over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually get what happened on 9-11?

If George W. Bush had failed to send relief aid to flood victims throughout the Midwest with more people killed or made homeless than in New Orleans, would you want it made into a major ongoing political issue with claims of racism and incompetence?

If George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had proposed to double the national debt, which had taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had then proposed to double the debt again within 10 years, would you have approved?

So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive? Can’t think of anything? Don’t worry. He’s done all this in 10 months; you’ll have three years and two months to come up with an answer.

Thanks, Bobby

If the chances are good that you are going to enjoy an evening of intimate entertainment with someone special, it’s wise to think things through.  Be sure your play area is clean and free of hazardous items.  Remember to play safe,  always respecting the boundaries of each partner.  If your play will explore, shall we say, the more exotic types of personal interactions,  it’s important to plan ahead.  Poor planning may result in an embarrassing situation, where the “bare ass”…   is yours!

The call of the week…  (so far)

A call to 9-1-1 at two-o’clock in the morning last Monday to request assistance will have the dispatch center in stitches for days.   Here’s the scenario -

Girlfriend calls 9-1-1 asking a deputy be sent over to assist.  The problem?  It seems the boyfriend is locked in a set of handcuffs, and they do  not have the key!  There is a protocol in such situations (yeah, it’s happened enough for a protocol to exist!).  First, we make sure none of our people are missing either handcuffs or suspects!  Then we check surrounding agencies to be sure they’re not missing either item.  Once we’re reasonably sure the person in cuffs wasn’t put there by law enforcement, we send someone over to lend a hand.  Being let out of a set of handcuffs by an annoyed cop is not something you really want to do.  Especially since they’re having to come let you loose after an…    “intimate encounter”.

Sorry, the rest of the details are confidential.  Not because there’s some law about it,  it’s just we don’t like to add insult to injury! 

So the moral to our story is…  double-check your toys for proper operation and safety before using them!

You might want to pay close attention to today’s story kids.  I can help you learn what not to do.  This story may also show you why Devoted Spouse has stuck by me for so many years now — yes; it’s what I like to call the Amusement Factor.

After Sunday’s jaunt around the Cincinnati Zoo, I was afraid the old back was not going to feel very good.  To my surprise, when I awoke Monday morning, the back felt just fine and dandy.  You know what that means…retail therapy is not far behind.

After a nice leisurely breakfast, I took off for my local Kohl’s Department Store to search for some long sleeved tees for Devoted Spouse and some new bathroom towels, too.  While there I noticed Kohl’s was having a wonderful shoe sale, so I found a pair of shoes and plopped myself down in one of the chairs to try them on.  Didn’t like them; not one bit.  So I put them back, turned around and got my little black shopping cart and headed off to another department…and another department…and another department…to the tune of about 20 minutes.  Then I stopped off at a jewelry display and perused and pondered…do I truly need those sapphire earrings?  (no).

Finally I arrived with my little black cart at the checkout counter.  Wait a minute…where’s my purse?  It’s not over my shoulder; it’s not over my arm; it’s not sitting in the bottom of the little black cart.  Holy crap on a crutch – I’ve set the danged thing down somewhere in the millions of aisles I have traveled in this Department Store.

I raced through the menswear section – no purse.  I hit the jewelry aisle – no purse.  I slammed through the towels and sheets – no purse.  Sweating profusely and dreaming of the horrors of stolen credit cards and identity theft I vaguely recalled setting my purse down on the chair as I tried on shoes.  Off to the shoe department I raced only to come upon a nice lady who was looking at shoes and standing close to my purse which was, sure enough, right on the chair where I had left it.  Me:  “Oh my word there it is!  I can’t believe I left my purse behind!”  Nice Lady:  “I was keeping an eye on it hoping you would return.”

Unbelievable – only here in the Midwest would some stranger watch the purse I so stupidly left behind.  Had I been back in DC that purse would have disappeared in twenty seconds and I would have had tons of charges on my credit cards before I even left the store.  Whew!  What a bullet I dodged!

So I thought it was an isolated incident of my scatterbrained nonsense.  Then later in the day I stopped off at my vet’s office — no, wait it is actually my DOG’s vet’s office…let’s get that straight right now.  Anyway, EmmaLou was getting low on her special diet food so I popped in to pick up another bag.  While there I remembered she also needs to get her little precious doggie teeth cleaned so why not make the appointment.  Oh – I don’t have my calendar with me.  That’s okay I’ll just go home with the food, find my calendar, and call the vet’s office back to make the appointment.

I arrive home with the dog food, go into the kitchen where I find my Day-Timer sitting on the kitchen counter by the phone and proceed to call MY dentist for my dog’s appointment.  Oh for cryin’ in a bucket.  Where are my brains?  Of course my dentist has caller ID and knew it was me so I felt compelled to not just apologize for bothering them but to also explain that I needed my dog’s teeth cleaned and simply called the wrong dentist.  The receptionist laughed and we hung up — with me fully aware that as soon as she hung up the phone she grabbed every person in that office and told them about my stupid call.   I then managed to call the vet’s office and schedule the proper teeth cleaning appointment for the dog.  (And of course, guess who has an appointment tomorrow morning to get HER teeth cleaned?  Oh yeah, I’ll be there in the early a.m. having to listen to everyone laugh at how I called them to clean my dog’s teeth.  Gah…)

It’s been an odd day here at Chez Crone and Bear It.  Not unusual, mind you, simply odd.  Obviously, I’m feeling better since I have returned to my moronic ways.  Learn from me kids — always pay attention to what you are doing or you will find yourself repeatedly apologizing for your own supreme dorkdom.

This vid has been all over the place by now, and since this guy is now an innertoob ’star’, someone’s been nice enough to add a soundtrack and some editing to make it much more watchable and entertaining with this B&W silent movie treatment. I’m sure his family will treasure it forever…

TIE:

1. Angelica Salas    

Remember Nosferatu?  

Separated at birth?

Anyway…

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,568064,00.html

Don’t you have anything better to do than to waste pesos worrying about a Halloween costume that makes fun of…criminals?

2. Gore Vidal  

http://newsbusters.org/blogs/jeff-poor/2009/10/23/gore-vidal-obama-too-intelligent-america-vidal-adds-he-wanted-murder-bush

Be sure to watch the video.

I’ll sum up a dandy exchange I had with a creationist stranger on one of my brothers’ facebook page, as he was trying to support creation “science”:

Creationist stranger: “Now as for your definition of ’science,’ be aware that the word has several definitions. People tend to choose the definition that suits their belief-system best. But creationism and evolutionism are equally scientific.”

“I guess it depends on what the definition of  ’is’  is.”—Bill Clinton

Creationist stranger: “They (evolutionists) refuse to accept a supernatural (italics added) explanation, no matter WHAT.”

Yes, I do indeed, in matters of science anyway. And therein I rest my case.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,568221,00.html?test=latestnews

I could make a convincing argument that a sticker of the American flag should be the ONLY thing you can slap on your locker. Here it is, and it’s quite simple:

The flag is quite possibly the only symbol upon which ALL citizens of this country should agree. It represents no politics, no party, no bias, no political correctness, no religion, no race, no ethnicity. It is solely a way of showing pride in your country, whatever happens to be going on IN it. If that offends you, there is something seriously wrong with YOU, not the person displaying it. If you don’t happen to be a citizen, too bad. Go back to your own miserable sewer of a country and display your own flag.

WTF is our country coming to?

1. James Arthur Ray, sweat lodge murderer

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,567240,00.html?test=latestnews

2. Richard Heene, helium balloon hoaxer

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,567304,00.html

3. Negligent Train Mom

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,567482,00.html

4. Keith Olbermann

Congrats! Instead of being known for your father being a war hero and a senator, you will be known as the big rack daughter of Senator McCain, who was silly enough to post a lot of skin on Twitter....

because the real question is “Why aren’t you butt-A$$ nekkid like all the other wannabe internet stars?”

Glad to see that you are keeping busy on facebook and twitter! Hope that is an American beer, not some foreign swill....Buy American (unless its Newcastle and its not....)

You had to know that the things that you tittered, I mean tweeted about were going to be a story.  Now, I am clearly not the modesty police, but if you didn’t want the  Twin Towers to become a story, then why are you displaying them so prominently?  Its like you want someone to____________ (fill in the blanks in the comments) clearly look at how large your rack is.  I am a fan, and I have been a fan.  But, please, stop being so butt-hurt about it.  The person who posted the picture is YOU.

Jokes will never end....

Grow up.  You have to be responsible for your actions.  Would you send your grandmother a picture with your boobies all hanging out?  Probably not…

Again, this is why you should not use Twitter...plus, pantsuits? Is that a rip on Hillary?

Doritos commercial from England. Message: Be a screw-up, eat Doritos, play video games. Sounds like a great plan! Sheesh…

Isn’t it just a tad bothersome that the 2 statements being repeatedly attributed by Al (Tawana Brawley) Sharpton, Jesse (Shakedown) Jackson et al to Rush Limbaugh regarding slavery and James Earl Ray cannot, in the age of 24/7 news and the internet, be substantiated in any way whatsoever? And yet Rush continues to be excoriated for them, while the accusers are blameless?

My little brother Andrew Gamblin is a senior at Enumclaw High School. He was nominated by his peers to be on Homecoming Court. EHS has a unique way in crowning its King and Queen. The school brings in a panel of judges, the 5 senior boys and girls have a sit down dinner with the judges. After dinner they come into the gym and walk down an aisle while their biographies are being read. As there biography comes to a close they are asked a question. Yes this is like a full on beauty pageant. Andrew carries on the tradition, well not much of one as I was Homecoming as well. My mom said, “2 Kings and No Queens.” My sisters did not win Homecoming Queen. Here is Andrew’s biography that was read at the ceremony. Thank you to Hillary for posting it on her blog so I could steal it!

Amongst the frantic and worried doctors and nurses, Andrew Gamblin barely made it into the world on December 9th 1991. The miracle baby joined the Gamblin family as the youngest of five children. And while he proved to be the easiest baby out of his five siblings, he also was the homeliest with his bald head, big ears and wrinkled face. He also had the nasty habit of drooling uncontrollably; even for a child he possessed minimal control over his saliva. An-drool – as his family calls him – still shows signs of his condition today if you get him to laugh hard enough.
Andrew’s sweet disposition as a baby continued as he grew older. His mother refers to him as her most tender hearted child because Andrew shows empathetic kindness towards others around him. Because of his kindness he was doted on by his elder siblings, teachers and friends who thought, and still think, he is the “sweetest boy”.
Family members and friends do not only love Andrew for his sweetness, but for his unique conversation skills. Andrew acquired the nick name “Captain Random” for his off-topic comments and his ability to continue conversations even when no one is listening. One of our family’s favorite stories is how while vacationing in Hawaii, he interrupted the lunch conversation to say “Mom ask me what my favorite part of Ocean’s Eleven is.” The table curiously looked at him and his mother indulged him by asking and he quickly replied “I don’t know. Let me think about it”.
Besides his peculiar conversations, Andrew also possesses a unique athletic talent which he likes to refer to “stupid human tricks”. Andrew’s body is similar to a contortionist: he can wrap his body into awkward positions and has several double jointed body parts. He dubbed his moves names such as the “sling shot”, the “barrel roll” and the “Barbie”. Andrew’s keen sense of business and opportunity led him to perform these tricks at his brothers sporting events and charge viewers a dollar.
Andrew’s body also naturally developed more quickly than his friends. He came home one afternoon in sixth grade and told his mother with pride that he was the “only sixth grader with muscles”. Thus began Andrew’s life long love affair with his body. As a sixth grader he gloried in the fact that he had a six pack. His family still sees him looking in the mirror and flexing with satisfaction.
With such a muscular body, Andrew has found a knack for playing sports. He comes from a genetic gene pool of outstanding athletes and is the third generation of Enumclaw High school sports. In his high school career he has played football, basketball and run track. Some of his greatest friendships have been formed on summer leagues and Wolverine football. His teammates enjoy the talent he brings to his team as well as his leadership skills on and off the pitch and court.
Andrew has always been an example to his peers through his kindness towards everyone, work ethic and high standards. Andrew’s upbringing in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has taught him to abstain from things that could be harmful to him and those around him. Through his church he has also participated in numerous service projects – culminating into hundreds of hours of service. He is even an Eagle Scout – for his Eagle Scout Project he worked with the City of Enumclaw in furnishing apartments for transitional housing.

Here are some pictures from the evening:

http://tarichmond.com/2009/10/07/breaking-news/