First up, I’m BACK!!!! For real. Not kidding. I’m dead serious. Like, I’m dropping the (s)pace network serious. I’ll do a bit more cleaning up now, and I’ll just be around here again in general.

There’s this girl that sits next to me in science and across from me in math. She thinks she’s insulting me when she calls me a nerd and keeps passing notes that say I’m stupid. Let’s see…if nerds are really smart, and I’m a nerd AND stupid…just don’t go there. Also, there’s this other kid at my school that thinks he’s like the best at everything and is really good at the games we play in P.E. And he has to brag about it. Ouch.

I’m not saying they hurt me in anyway, it’s that they are hurting themselves. Well, the world will know what idiots they are someday (and maybe the world has already realized that).

(I’m sick and miserable. So sick I haven’t had any coffee for two days now.

Hm.

Time to rectify my gross negligence?

Brb)

Back!

Anyway, This post started this morning with my astute observation that:

Username “objectivetruth” always belongs to a fundie or creationist(1)

Then Nachasz came and rightly pointed out that “objectivetruth” could also be a randroid.

Thus, armed with this solid heuristic apparatus, I set out to troll on my road of internet discovery.

1. WordPress users will be pleased to hear that there is no user called “objectivetruth” here.

2. Because they’re on Blogspot.

3. Only, moved out. And, guys, it’s hilaaaaaarious!

First this:

What is truth? Truth is something I believe AND it is actually true. Lots of people today talk about personal truth (subjective truth). Unless what they believe is actually true then it’s not truth. Truth is not SUBJECTIVE.

This means, and pay attention, because it’s a huuuuuuge leap right there, this means: “what I believe is true, because I say so. When other people say so, it’s not true. Because I say so”.

This is, of course, a statement of astounding profundity and far-reaching epistemological consequences.

But there is, as usual, moaaaar! This page has a curious definition of the truth:

We already know the answer: Truth is when things are the way we think they are. When our thinking matches up accurately to what we’re thinking about – when our beliefs are correct – we say they are true.

Welllllll. I’m no philosopher, but then, we don’t need a philosopher here to say that the logic here, is, perhaps, a bit, slightly, minutely circular.

Also: when things are the way we think they are, and our thinking that things are the way we think they are reinforces our thinking that they are the way we think they are, what we have is not “truth” but “confirmation bias“.

We all know what a lie is. We also know that truth is just the opposite. The Bible uses the word “truth” in this way all the time. Paul said, “I am telling the truth in Christ, I am not lying” (Romans 9:1). John writes, “No lie is of the truth” 1 John 2:21. Sometimes the contrast is between truth and error (e.g., 1 John 4:6), which is basically the same thing.

Yeah. “Error” is totally the same thing as “lie”. So, like, this is why, when we have a lying criminal in court, and a witness who is simply mistaken, they will both be treated exactly the same way by the law. Also, a student who had errors in her maths homework will be treated the same way as the one who cheated his off  his friend’s homework. Totally.

This is because “error” and “lie” are, like, totally the same thing.

(Authorial intent! Look it up! Think about it!)

Several lines down, a brief affair with sanity:

Facts of the world are truth-makers.

Yeah. Only I’m not convinced he really knows what “fact” means. Look it up(3)!

Anyway, to the serious business entries! From the delicious post about idolatry and, well, something:

Here is the big idea of todays workshop; when I put anything in my life before God it means I am also putting that thing in front of my spouse. God hates when we do this and there are severe consequences that will occur if we do not change our behavior. If God is not in the right position of my life, my master then it is impossible for our marriages to be in the right order as well.

Huh? What? Why?

So, is Christian marriage some sort of threeway-with-god kind of thing? Kinky. Or is it? And wouldn’t it mean that you’re worshipping you spouse and god? Or, whatwhereblargh.

I have to say, spatial relationships in a healthy Christian family are very confusing.

Do you know that everyone worships something in this world? No matter if you are an atheist, agnostic, buddhist, hindu, pagan or Christian you are going to worship something.

So, as an atheist, what would it be that I worship? The absence of gods? How do you do that? Do I need an altar that says “to the absence of gods”, and do I have to pray to gods every day, gleefully proclaiming “thank you, guys, for not being there”?

That would be hilarious, actually.

Only, I don’t have time, and also, no need for ritualised behaviour, most of the time.

God has created all mankind with a need to worship Him.

This is because Christianity is like Gor.

Also: what about free will?

The rest of the post was pretty much nauseating, apart from this gem:

It was early an early Saturday morning and my lovely wife gave me a kiss good bye eyes I was rolling out of bed and she tells me she needs to take my car because her car is really low on gas. I say no problem just make sure you are back by noon because I need to go to Church and work oh and babe if you can actually be back a little earlier that would be great because I want to get my oil changed. Maybe you could be back at 11. So I start getting ready and it is nearing 11. I am thinking to myself she better be back she knows I need to get my oil changed and want to get it washed. 11 passes and it is now nearing noon and I am really starting to get upset. I am getting angry. It is about 5 minutes to 12 and her she comes rolling up and I am thinking how selfish was she to be out that long. Why would she not be considerate of what I needed to do. As the door opens I bite her head off and yell at her. Where have you been! You know I wanted to get my car washed you know I wanted to get my oil change and you just did whatever you wanted. My lovely wife turns to me and says babe I got your car washed and I got the oil changed for you. I am now looking for a rock to hide under for what a jerk I am. Do you realize I was committing murder in my heart?

What a jerk!

The list of idols is a thing to behold, though. Did you know it’s a sin to have your kids go to sports practice on Sunday? Because then you may not be able to get to church on time, and god will hate you?

Heee.

Then, there’s the post about god’s wrath:

We just don’t do it often enough, if at all. We even hear people apologize or act like this is some character flaw of God.

Huh. Why is that OK for god to be a Bitch Queen of Bitchville, more or less, but the godly Christian has to be all meek and docile, like a trained puppy?

And we have to understand it is not a reactionary type of anger but it is a holy and righteous anger. We as humans have a hard time understanding this perfect anger or wrath. Because we are flawed and sinful.

Yes. Yes. Precisely. This is because we’re sinful, not because we think, like, you know,  logically.

Then we see God wipe out the entire world except for 8 people in the flood of Noah.
• Then in the days of Abraham we see that he completely destroys Sodom and Gomorra.
• We see He destroys all the army’s of Egypt along with Pharaoh in the Red Sea.
• We see that he destroyed the Amalekites and killed all men, women and children because of their 430 years of rebellion against God and the sacrificing of babies to Molech their false God. Do you know what the Amalekites would do when they sacrificed their babies they would heat up a statue of their god until it was read hot and place the babies on it and let them burn up. God gave them lots of time to repent and brought His wrath upon them when the nation of Israel wiped them all out.

All those actions are, of course, very laudable!

Sooo, god’s wrath against the Amalekites is godly and perfect, because god did it. It also has nothing to do with the ill-defined “reactionary anger”(4), which is the anger you feel when somebody does something to you. Nope. The Amalekites did nothing to god. They were just unpleasant! And they burnt babies. And god had too much time on their hands.

In short: they had it coming, stupid bitches, and genocide is all right.

Praise the lord!

Also, the ObjectiveTruth’s righteous wrath directed at commas is righteous and godly. This has nothing to do with what commas did to him, and the story about commas running over his puppy is totally fabricated. By satan.

Totally!

This and moar and the charming Objective Truth website.

ETA: Link to Nachasz doesn’t take you to FF now *facepalm*.

(1) Note: those two labels are by no means mutually exclusive(2).

(2) Also: this is all thanks to PZ who linked to this hilarious piece of verbal diarrhoea which belongs in the Creative Writing 101, part One: How not to write, but, oh well.  Anyway, look at the comments!

(3) Please note that the What is truth article has a tiny tiny tiny footnote saying “taken from this (address) website. It is however unclear to me whether he means by it the entire thing, or something else, or I don’t even know anymore.

(4) Trufax: I snorted every time I saw “reactionary anger”. *Snorts*

And I’m too lazy to copy the link, today.

Let me be honest for a moment, hombres. There are few people in the world I have less respect for than those folks who want to advocate for “medical marajuana.” Let’s be honest. 99% of these folks just are too damned lazy to smoke a blunt illegally like everyone else who has that disgusting habit. The only 1% have legitimate medical issues and have been misled by a bunch of filthy hippies and their crypto-stoner allies in the fringes of the medical community that burning a doobie is the only way they can deal with their medical problems. This is, of course, total bullshit.

My favorite commentator on all weed-related issues is none other than General Barry McCaffrey, former “Drug Czar” in the Clinton administration. Here’s my favorite highlight from an old 1996 PBS interview

MARGARET WARNER: What are you saying to doctors who say in their medical judgment they have certain patients that other therapies cannot work for and that their own medical judgment, their own ethics tell them I should recommend they find marijuana and use it to help them with this?

GENERAL BARRY McCAFFREY: I would urge them to listen to the judgment of the American Medical Association and to listen to the viewpoint of the National Institute of Health and the FDA and don’t use the Schedule one drugs. They’re dangerous, and they’re alleged by medical authorities to not have a benefit. So that’s really what we’re saying.

But let’s say for a moment, contrary to all evidence, that taking a monster hit off your roomate’s bong has some real medical benefit besides getting you shit-faced and giving you a supreme case of the munchies. Rather than fill your lungs with nasty particulate matter and spread the foul stench of that f’ing reefer across the apartment complex, we can use the power of Science(TM) to make the alleged medical benefit of wacky tobacky available to you in suppository form! Because if you seriously need it for medical reasons, you should have no problem shoving that hippy lettuce straight up your ass.

This is of course, not an original idea as I’m stealing it from General McCaffrey (search the link for “suppository” to find the relevant quotes). But the old coot certainly has a point. To all the stoners out there who claim a bit of Mary Jane is the only thing to kill the pain I say: Fine. But I’ll only believe you’re not just a lazy, filthy joint-smoking douchebag if you’re willing to take it in the end. Then you can have as many suppository parties as you want.

Honestly, I do have loads of interesting stuff to say about my trip but right now I’m sat at my desk trying desperately not to fall asleep and start drooling onto my laptop.  I have to do something other than work if I’m going to stay awake so let’s have a look at jetlag.

I took a look at wiki which is always reliable as a good starting point.

“There seems to be some evidence that for most people, traveling west to east is more disruptive.”

I didn’t know this. Apparently you end up having to stay up longer travelling from the states back to the UK which makes it harder for your circadian rhythms to get back on track.

“Some sleep onboard will help the situation somewhat.” Ah yes but what this doesn’t account for is the 6 year old sat behind you kicking your seat for 7 hours, or the cabin lights shining in your eyes, or the person in front having their seat set so far back that they are sleeping in your lap, or the noise of other peoples’ movies playing or getting bumped by everyone trotting off to the bogs every 10 minutes.

I didn’t sleep on the way back at all which left me more than a little grumpus come sunrise and subsequent landing. I arrived home at around 1100 am. Got an email from YKW cancelling my first appointment back after a two week hiatus (that went down well) and stumbled into bed where I slept then intermittently until 0700 the next day wherein I got up and went to work.

That was weds night. Last night (thurs) I had three hours sleep. Did I mention that? Three hours. I am seeing vapour trails threough half-lids at this point.

So apart from being crackered, what are the symptoms of jetlag?
* Headache
* Fatigue, irregular sleep patterns, temporary insomnia
* Disorientation, grogginess, irritability
* Mild depression

Hmm.. so not too different from normal then, eh?

So how do I cure this? Well apparently I have to just wait it out. I once had jetlag for a week while I waited for my body to readjust itself. The Beeb suggests viagra. Or is that just for hamsters? How many hamsters regularly commute between timezones?

Only three more hours of work left before I can go to bed. Wish me luck.

Okay, this is really obnoxious.

If you call in for AAA service in the middle of the night and then decide to be a man and fix the flat tire (etc.) yourself, you HAVE TO CALL BACK AND CANCEL IT!

This is not a matter of common courtesy or just being nice. People who do this just pulled a driver who works 60 hours a week out of a very well-deserved sleep in the depths of the night to drive across the service area (that’s a 50 minute drive, one way) just to arrive on location and find out that the stranded vehicle got up and walked away. It’s incredibly disrespectful and I think downright cruel. Would you like to be woken up in the middle of the night to drive somewhere to find out you were brought out for nothing? I think not.

The fact that I still get paid for it is beside the point. When it’s the middle of the night, I would rather take my two hours of sleep back than a $15 commission to drive across the region. Seriously. That’s just mean. It’s like people who hit the crosswalk button and then cross anyway, leaving the drivers furiously stuck minutes later while the traffic light fruitlessly flashes walk signals to empty sidewalks. If you’re going to press the button, have the decency to wait and use the service.

I don’t know if this is people’s ways of getting back at us or something. Is it, “Oh, I broke down in the middle of the night but this jack-hole from AAA took too long, so I’m just going to change the tire myself (like I should have to begin with) and just let him chase ghosts around for twenty minutes.” Or do people think we don’t show up to things. News flash: We Always Show Up. It’s our job. Your job is to at least have the decency to be there.

And then probably tip us for coming out in the middle of the night to help you. Because we’re not night drivers sitting around picking our noses waiting for work. We’ve been working all day, and will work all day tomorrow too. And you, sir, are going to burn in hell.

Have a pleasant night.

pero wag maging stupido…

Do you have a religion? I don’t. I was baptized a catholic but never practiced the religion unless we were saying grace. And that only lasted until I was 8. Most religions I find comical. Some of the things they say just don’t make sense. You mean to tell me that God created the world in seven days but the sun wasn’t made until the fourth day? Then how do you know the first three days were actually days? Or how about: I get to have how many virgins when I die and go to heaven? Anyway that wasn’t the point of this post. I wanted to talk about how much hatred was IS surrounding all these religions. How many wars have we (as a species) had over religion? This person believes that and since that doesn’t match what I believe I think I should plunder his village and rape his women. It doesn’t make sense to me. Don’t all of these religions talk about being peaceful and such? They all talk about compassion? So then why is it that when you kill someone in your gods name, it’s suddenly ok? I don’t think your deity wanted you to go and kill those people. Plus the whole gay hate thing. Most religions do not agree with the idea of homosexuality. Except for the Greeks and the Romans. They had gods who were gay, that’s how okay with it they were. But suddenly the idea that there is only one god and he doesn’t like same sex couples comes along and it’s a sin to have sex any other way then conventional. I’m tired of it people. I’m tired of the violence. I’m tired of the hate. I’m tired of the humanity. We are a competitive plague. We suck every last drop out of nutrients from our habitat, and then try and put some back in because we realize we made a mistake. But we can’t because we are too much of a destructive species, so we move on, starting the cycle of death all over again. *sigh* I just feel sorry for the next planet we infect. Ours has almost reached it’s limit, soon we will need to move on, and like a plague of locusts we will soar from our atmosphere into the unknown.

Nothing angers me more than people who screw something up simply because they couldn’t be bothered to listen to what somebody else has to say. If you don’t have the skills to perform a task, then that’s one thing, but to completely ignore your instructions because you’re either stupid, lazy, ignorant – or all three, in some kind of jackass trifecta – well, that’s a horse of a different colour.

Take Monday, for example. At a local coffee shop, I ordered two things, a coffee and a gingerbread cookie. I ordered them in that order, in a clear voice. Or at least I attempted to.

“I’ll have one large coffee and one ginger–”

And then off the coffee merchant ran, turning her back on me completely. And while I appreciate her urgency in getting me my morning coffee, I did not want this coffee returned to me with a milk, sugar and a shot of ginger flavour, which is apparently a new holiday special. Because Christmas or not, that’s friggin disgusting.

Furthermore, if I complain – and also ask where the hell my cookie is – don’t mumble and complain about how you didn’t hear me and now your life is that much worse because you have to make a second debit transaction to fix the error. JUST GIVE ME A NEW COFFEE AND A GOD DAMN COOKIE!!

And be pleasant while you do it. Or if not pleasant, at least don’t be a complete ass. I mean, you’re the genius who screwed up in the first place.

Ok ok, in my first official blog entry, one of the phrases that I proclaimed should never be uttered to an unemployed woman with a graduate degree was: “You should have a baby.”  Even though I still truly believe that is an inappropriate suggestion for a young woman in my circumstance, I am pregnant with my first child.  One thing is for certain, I did the world a huge service when I posted that initial entry.  People say all sorts of stupid and inappropriate things to other people.  Throughout the past few months, I have found that people’s stupidity isn’t completely relegated to unemployed, educated females; there are many inappropriate phrases unleashed upon pregnant woman as well.  When it comes to pregnant women, I feel that I’m pretty reasonable.  Sure, I have my days where commercials make me cry and when I wake up in a bad mood for no reason, but more often than not, I’m not overcome by hormones to the point that it makes me irrational.  (Except for maybe that one day where my husband and Vitamin G played tennis and went out for pancakes without me.  Tennis is stupid and I’m glad that pregnant women aren’t allowed to play because that gives me the perfect excuse to not play tennis with my husband.  He’s your problem now, Vitamin G.  But everyone knows that pregnant women love pancakes and yet no one invited me!!!  Pancakes and pregnant women go together like Tiger Woods and skanks.  A perfect match.  No matter what a pregnant woman is craving, it can be included in a pancake:  fruit, bacon, cheese…  I love pancakes!  And Baby wants a piece.).  Regardless, the following phrases aren’t upsetting to pregnant women because of the hormones surging through our body.  They are upsetting because they are inapprop.

“Looks like someone is getting a belly.” Oh no, you didn’t!  You DID NOT just point out any sort of weight gain to a pregnant woman.  Are you high?!  What is wrong with you?!  Planned or unplanned, from the moment a woman discovers that she’s pregnant, she immediately wonders how her body is going to change.  Her immediate next thought is whether or not she will ever look the same.   With each pound and pronouncement of the belly, she is equal parts ecstatic and terrified.  That’s a dangerous combination and you just reminded her of it by uttering that phrase.  Careful, buddy.

“Aw, you don’t want to find out the sex of the baby, just be surprised.” Oh yeah, I mean, why would I want to be prepared with gender appropriate clothes or decorate the baby’s room in something other than the color yellow?  Do you open your Christmas presents in May just so that you can sit in anticipation for six more months to increase the surprise factor?  No.  Because guess what?  It’s a surprise no matter when you find out.  You can either find out now or six months from now.  Why would I wait?  While we’re on the subject, are you carrying this baby?  Did you have morning sickness for weeks?  Do you have to run to the bathroom every five minutes?  What?  No?  Then don’t tell me what to do.

“Don’t you just love being pregnant?” Alright, honesty hour here.  In a word?  No.  Am I super thankful and excited to be pregnant?  ABSOLUTELY.  Do I LOVE being pregnant?  Um, no, I’d much rather have the baby here now than wait six more months.   Not to mention that I spent the good part of my first trimester so ill that I couldn’t move and now that I’m in my second trimester, my body changes so rapidly day by day that it’s frightening.  And from what I hear, the third trimester is pretty uncomfortable.  So, let’s see, have the baby or be pregnant?  I’ll take the kid as soon as it’s ready, please.

“Parenting is a lot of work.” No!  You don’t say!  Here I thought that I would have this baby in May and then for the next 18 years at least, life would be simple and wonderful.  C’mon now, I know how hard parenting must be because during the past five years, I had to work with college students.  And a large percentage of those college students were just awful human beings.  This made me realize how hard parenting must be because the majority of you parents with college-aged children really did a terrible job.  But your poorly behaved children did give me some guidance on how not to parent and for that, I thank you.

“Maternity clothes are ugly.” Um, thanks.  I have to wear those for the next six months and you just told me how ugly they are.  Unless I want to wear sweatpants and my husband’s t-shirts out of the house, I really have no choice.  Why don’t you call me fat while you’re at it?  Or eat pancakes without me?  Ouch.

“I don’t want to ruin my body.” Oh man, I’m ruining my body by being pregnant?  I had no idea!  Get this thing out of me!  Seriously folks, I know that I already mentioned this but pregnant woman have no idea how these pregnancies are going to affect their bodies.  Even if you don’t have the perfect pre-baby body, for nine months you are left wondering what it’s going to look like after that kid pops out.  Please don’t remind pregnant women about this, it’s something that we already think about.  Your negativity is just going to drive me into a gallon of ice cream and then what will my body look like in six more months?

In closing, many pregnant women are fond of these kitschy words but I’m not.  So, do yourself a favor and refrain from using the following words when referring to my pregnancy:  preggo, preggers, and baby bump.  Acceptable substitutes are pregnant, with child, expecting, and baby belly.

Seeing as how the New York state government fails as of late. Like increasing tuition for SUNY and budget cutting. Genius. I mean why do we have to pay more money only to have that money go to the state debt?! It should go to the school, damn it! I will not discuss how much Governor Patterson fails at the moment. Spitzer may have been a manwhore, but at least he was politically smart.

I digress, I will not discuss about that. What matters right now is that today the New York State Senate failed to pass a bill that will allow gay marriage by 38 to 24.

I definitely know I did not vote for the people that rejected that bill. I believe in being intolerant against stupidity and bigotry. I do not see why people cannot be allowed the same rights and benefits that heterosexual married people have just because of their sexual orientation. They did not choose to be homosexual, just like how I didn’t choose to be Asian. If it really was a choice, then why would anyone want to be ostracized by most of society? Would anyone willingly want to be taunted, ridiculed, and be subject to crap treatment? I thought so.

Homosexuals should be allowed access to the same things heterosexuals are entitled to in marriage. Hospital visitation, survivor benefits, et cetera.

And to be honest, this really should not affect straight people. Why should it matter? It’s not like as soon as gay marriage is legalized, then the gays will try to turn straight people gay! Let them live their lives how they want. It’s not like they’re trying to bother us. They just want to be treated like human beings.

This is a matter of equal human rights and tolerance, and stripping a person of those rights is inhumane. This is not an issue on morality. And I’m so disappointed.

Way to fail, New York. Way to fail.

sXephil rants about this in a more entertaining manner:

Next time you think you are helping someone by doing something for them without being asked, stop for a second and think if you really are helping them. Because you might actually be making a giant mess.

Maybe you’re “helping” by organizing someone’s desk while they’re on break. Maybe you’re “being nice” by throwing away what looks like garbage in someone’s car. Well, don’t. I know you want to feel needed and useful but people are fully capable of running their own lives. At best, you’re prying and annoying. At worst, you are literally ruining their lives.

To put it politely, it’s not necessary and thanks but no thanks.

To put it bluntly, STOP MESSING WITH MY SHIT.

If people want your help they’ll ask for it. Until then, mind your own business. (Besides, don’t you have anything better to do?)

Dear Emergency Bra Mask Inventor,

Thank you for creating the dumbest invention ever.  In the time it would take for me to remove my bra and refit it over my nose during a nuclear attack, I’d probably already be dead.

Sincerely,
Captain Cupcake

Dear Stupid Moron at Tim Horton’s,

When I request a Sausage Biscuit without egg, DON’T GIVE ME A FUCKING EGG. Jesus Christ how hard is your job, you work at a goddamn Tim Horton’s and you can’t punch in a single breakfast sandwich order without mangling it. It wasn’t a complicated order, there was only two possibilities…with egg and without. AND YOU GOT IT WRONG.

Of course, this is the same Tim Horton’s where I ordered a muffin and they gave me a packet of butter and no knife. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

I was so disgusted at humanity (and the egg) that I wanted to just hurl the thing into the garbage.  However, I was too hungry. A woman from work (one of women mentioned in the last post) came into the kitchen as I was hunched over the trash scraping the disgusting processed mass into the bag and looked at me. I looked at her. She walked out without saying a word (I think my eyes screamed death) and I bitterly consumed the tainted sausage biscuit that will no doubt return like some ridiculous nemesis later in the day in the form of agonizing heartburn.

Here’s the audio of Tiger Woods’ panicked ghone call to his mistress Jamie Grubbs:

Tiger in a panic

Here’s what he says:

“Hey, it’s Tiger,” he says in the voicemail, obtained by Usmagazine.com (listen above). “I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that. Just have it as a number on the voicemail. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye.”

Cheating bastard got caught!

last week i was discussing my team member from hell

well, for our presentation i posted, on the forum, a shell powerpoint presentation with a random design theme and slides that corresponded to the topics we were covering for my team members to add their bullets to … i asked them if the shell was ok with them and if not to let me know … i did that three weeks ago and the other woman on my team said she thought it was fine … mr asshole … never said a word

none of my other team members stepped up and took control of the final paper or presentation … so i did and i didn’t have a problem with that

i sent them a message asking them to pick portions of the paper to write … no documentation of this just verbal … so again, i updated the forum … and again … i didn’t have a problem with that

when it started coming down to the wire i sent another message telling my team members that i needed their portions of the paper by the friday before the last session of class in order to put it all together …. L, the other girl on my team called me and told me she was very ill and would work on it as much as possible … ok … at least she was trying

friday came and went and nothing from HIM but at least L called me and said she was working on it

sunday evening i got her info but still nothing from HIM, i called him, left a message

monday evening, after i got home from my first day back to work, i finally got a call from HIM, in his broken english he asked me what time i was going to bed and i told him, he said he was thinking of going out but since he got ahold of me he would stay home and finish he part of the paper … WHAT?? … so while i proofed L’s part of the paper i waited on his part … 930 he calls me and tells me he posted his part to the forum … i downloaded it, copied and pasted into the mast and posted it as a draft for them to review … what the hell am i supposed to do at 930 the night before … he asked me if we could get to class early to go over some things … i told him that no i couldn’t becuase of work and that i wouldn’t be able to review it the next day either

today, L proofed the paper again by putting it through the schools paper review program … she updated her slides in the powerpoint and said she would see me in class

while walking out the door from work i got a call from HIM … i didn’t call him until i was in my truck heading to school … he wanted to know what time i would be at school and i told him probably not until right at 6 … he then told me he changed the powerpoint because the colors were atrocious … ok, tell bill gates that you think his templates are atrocious

when i got to class and walked in the door, L looked at me with this distraught look

HE changed the template of the powerpoint but didn’t add my parts or L’s parts … what the fuck dude

so i had to quickly log on and try to get the missing parts added … luckily we had an accommodating instructor because most would say if it isn’t done when you walk in class … too bad, late, zero credit or points off just for that

i added the parts and was saving it and he says, let’s work on the animation …. i looked him square in the face and said “we don’t have time for animation, we need to get this done” … i think i made him a little mad but i really didn’t care at that point … i also noticed that the powerpoint presentation had someone else’s name in the created by field in the metadata … so now i’m wondering how much of what he gave me was plagerized

we had great content in our presentation and we got a good grade … but damn … if you aren’t going to take the initiative and lead then follow and accept what people that willing to lead are doing or provide them feedback in a timely manner

at the end of class HE tells me that he wants to add some things to our paper and resubmit it … again … WHAT?? … assignments are late after 6pm … and what exactly are you going to add

as i was walking out i heard him say something to the instructor about how SHE uploaded the wrong version of the paper …. huh?

L and i waited a bit and spoke with the instructor as he was leaving … we told him that we didn’t know what exactly HE was going to add … the instructor assured us that if we were not comfortable with him grading a version of the paper that we would not see, he would grade the version that L posted

i’m so glad i don’t have to deal with this asshole anymore … fucker!

Mafia Wars comic strip starring Hillary Clinton, Barack Hussein Obama, and Vladimir Putin.

Oh, for the love of all that is holy.

This is preposterous.

For those of you who don’t want to link over…  A town in England – Poole, Dorset, to be exact – has erected a giant concrete cone covered in astroturf in the center of their shopping district. The giant cone plays Christmas music (which surprises me – how can they play Christmas music. That’s not very PC) and is embedded with twinkle lights, so it looks “pretty at night”.  Uh, huh.  riiiiight.

And why is this town channeling Lucy VanPelt? (bonus points to those of you who get the reference) Safety.  It’s all about safety.  Last years tree, a Norwegian Fir costing £500, could “blow over and kill someone”. So the government did the most logical thing.  They spent £14,000 on what has been referred to as a traffic cone, a witch’s hat, and a bad special effect from Dr. Who.  Makes perfect sense to me. Cause that concrete tree won’t hurt anything if it blows over.

Words fail me, and that RARELY happens.

I’m just surprised that it happened in England first.

There are two women I work with who constantly infuriate the rest of us by refusing to use anything other than an archaic, idiotic filing system for their computer files. Most of the time this doesn’t matter, since we don’t commonly have to find or use another person’s files. However, when they are away or when someone is doing a joint project, inevitably their stupid system rears its ancient, stupid head and derails everyone’s day.

I can best describe their “system” by relating it to a filing cabinet. What the rest of us use is akin to a filing cabinet that stores files in a categorized or alphabetical pattern, such as one used by any reasonable, intelligent individual. You need to find something, you pull up the letter and find it within seconds.  Makes sense, right?

Well, their so-called method is the equivalent of a giant bathtub of loose, random papers. Need to find something?  Dump out everything on the floor and enjoy the 10 minutes it takes to search through them all.

We’ve tried to wean them out of this dumb habit (by constantly demonstrating how pointless and inefficient it is) but these luddites refuse to change. They are adamant in their refusal, despite indisputable evidence proving that they are wrong.  It almost seems like they are protesting something. If they were refusing to change because of some principle I might be able to respect that. However I know they are just being irritatingly stubborn, possibly with the intent of causing others grief. In some ways, I can respect that too. I just hate dealing with them.

The moral of the story is stop being so fucking stupid.

There is nothing I hate more in the world right now than the phrase FML (Fuck My Life if you are blissfully and fortunately unaware.) The next time you hear someone say it just punch them in the face. Seriously. It is like an impulse reaction, I hear the phrase and my fists clench in barely suppressed, seething rage. I am sure there is an eye twitch happening, too. It’s douchey, it’s pretentious, and it’s just plain stupid.

Saying FML instantly tells me that you are a worthless, whiny human being. Go die in a fire.

What kind of person says FML?  I imagine they are one or more of the following:

• A fourteen-year old girl, possibly the only person who can get away with saying this
• A tool who thinks using internet lingo is the new cool hip thing to do; the new hipster
• A Twilight fan, probably the most common demographic to use this retarded phrase
• A stupid douchebag

If you are male and you say this, you deserve a swift kick in the balls.

Finally, take a look at the people who say FML. I guarantee you they are not someone who is legitimately hard-pressed in life. The only people that say FML are whiny attention whores who just want others to pour sympathy onto them because they don’t have enough twitter followers or because their hair stylist dyed their hair light electric mauve instead of lustrous ballroom indigo, or whatever the fuck stupid colors they want. I just want to throw them all down a flight of stairs.