It’s a sad but true fact that people abandon their pets at the Falls of the Ohio.  I have come across many stray dogs and cats in my wanderings around the park.  Of course, it’s hard to excuse this behavior when there are organizations that will care for and find new homes for unwanted animals. 

This is a story about a recent encounter I had with a most peculiar “dog”.  I came to call him “Rat-Dog” because of its diminutive size.  I was walking among the willows on a day that felt so much like winter.  I even heard the calls of Sandhill Cranes migrating, but the clouds were low and I couldn’t spot them.  As I was walking past a certain willow with a cavity at its base…this little white animal came running towards me.  For about an hour the little dog tagged along with me and I photographed it in various places of interest.  Rat-Dog would not let me touch it, but it was nevertheless playful.  Following are several of the images of this animal.

He seemed to like to play fetch.  I gathered a few walnuts and pitched them into the brown, curling leaves and Rat-Dog was very good at finding them.  I wondered how long he had been out here and what was it eating?  I surmised that like other strays, it probably ate garbage and handouts from fishermen.  I regretted that I had nothing to feed it.  Usually, I have something to snack on, but on this day, I hadn’t planned to stay long.

Along the sandy trail, we came to a patch of yellow Horse Nettle fruits.  I photographed these plants months a go when they sported lovely purple and yellow flowers.  I have since learned that these fruits are very poisonous.  They look like little tomatoes.  Rat-Dog fortunately did not eat any.  He seemed content to just run between the clumps of plants.

As another good indicator of scale, I shot this image of Rat-Dog by a plastic bottle.  It was at this moment that the little animal heard some distant sound and ran as fast as it could towards it.  I thought to myself that perhaps this was the dog’s owner who feeling twinges of guilt, came back for it.  Maybe he wasn’t abandoned to begin with and had become lost during an earlier visit?  Either way, I hope he finds his way home.

Rat-Dog was made from bits of found Styrofoam, coal, sticks, and pieces of plastic.  The collar around his neck is the top from a disposable salt shaker.  The dog is held together with little sharpened pegs.  He was created and photographed at the Falls of the Ohio State Park.  The part about pets being abandoned here…is sadly true.

I thought I had a perfect project for the kids to work on after we polished off our turkey and stuffing.  In my refrigerator were four bags of cranberries and my mom was nice enough to bring over a boxful of styrofoam balls and cones, along with some red ribbon.  My idea was to have the kids cover the foam with cranberries to make holiday decorations that could be hung with ribbon or placed around the house.  They were going to be so pretty. 

If only I hadn’t forgotten to buy pins.  I only had a tiny box of push pins that wouldn’t be enough for even one child’s project.

I had seven kids sitting around the table with their cones looking at me expectantly.  ”I’ll be right back!” I blurted, and ran to the basement to retrieve the rainy day craft bin filled with buttons,ribbon, sequins and everything else left over from crafting days gone by.  They oohed and ahhed as I open the treasure chest of crafting and immediately started to glue, bend, and poke things onto their styrofoam.  It was a huge success. 

You will need: styrofoam forms, glue, your junk bin and kids looking for something to do.  Have fun!

This is my 1ooth post!  I was really looking forward to writing this about two weeks a go when my computer crashed!  The real horror was that many of my Falls of the Ohio project images weren’t backed up.  I do have stuff on flash drives, CDs, memory cards, and yes, this blog, but the hard drive of my computer has the majority of my pictures.  That’s about three years worth of this project.  I still have another three years that’s completely analog-based that I could scan at a future date.  I’m not certain I have saved all my digital work, but I think it may still be there.  I’ll find out tomorrow, because it was a bit of an ordeal to get the family computer going again.  In the meantime, I was visiting the river and making sculptures and images from them.  Here is one story that takes place after the willow leaves have fallen and turned brown on the sand.  Winter’s chill isn’t far behind.

In my collecting bag were several small bottles the size used to serve alcohol aboard airline flights.  I decided to use them together on a single figure.  I found a piece of Styrofoam that could serve as a head and a few elements to create features.  Acorns become eyes, a plastic bottle cap serves as a mouth, the nose is some plastic electric insulating cap, the ears are Asiatic clam shells, and that tuft of hair is part of an old broom.  Those bottles mentioned earlier…I decided to string together like charms on a bracelet and I wrapped them around my polystyrene figure.

I conjured up this figure and imagined that he was a magic person with the power to intercede between worlds.  He wears the small bottles as amulets and as symbols of his office.  Bottles are important vessels because they mediate between exterior and interior realities.  The JuJu Bottleman comes to the Falls of the Ohio because he knows this is a really good place to find bottles of all kinds.

Strewn among the driftwood are plastic bottles that rode the last high water to this spot.  To the JuJu Bottleman, this is exactly what he is looking for.  It is uncertain what he intends to do with these bottles, but they serve some kind of important purpose that we may never know.  You can, however, feel a certain kind of power emanating from the collective energy of similar objects being grouped together.  Perhaps they serve as a battery for the imagination?  If one is good then more might be better.

Yes, I’m going to ask Santa for an external hard drive this year.  I have always intellectually known how fragile this data is, but my recent computer problem has accentuated that.  Pixels are like tiny beads of Styrofoam that are subject to fragmentation.  The notion that what happens to images in the electronic world finds a correspondence with the objects I’m manipulating and photographing in the physical world is an idea of interest to me.  The internet is a river that abrades and changes images as they appear in different contexts.  If I’m unable to retrieve my images from the old hard drive…I will accept that and think of it as a lesson learned.  I have other new discoveries and images from the Falls that I will post soon.

Abu Khaulah Zainal Abidin

Dahulu kala manusia harus berenang untuk menyeberangi hanya sebuah sungai. Mereka harus -dan hanya bisa- berlari sekencang-kencangnya untuk tiba segera di tempat yang dituju. Bersusah payah melompat setinggi-tingginya hanya untuk meraih buah yang hendak dipetik.

Kini mereka mampu berlayar bahkan mengarungi samudra. Cukup memacu kendaraannya untuk tiba di tempat dalam sekejap. Terbang bahkan menembus awan dengan pesawat.

Semua itu karena manusia tak henti berupaya; mengatasi tantangan,  mempermudah cara, dan meningkatkan hasil. Berbagai ilmu mereka kembangkan, berbagai cara mereka lakukan, dan berbagai alat mereka ciptakan. Itulah teknologi.

Teknologi…

adalah yang juga hewan telah mengenalnya sejak awal, jauh sebelum istilah itu diciptakan. Hewan memanipulasi dirinya di dalam rangka menghadapi tantangan alam yang mengancam kehidupannya. Mereka berupaya mempermudah cara untuk melanjutkan kehidupannya,  bahkan bersiasat untuk meningkatkan hasil buruannya.

Jadi, teknologi bukan monopoli manusia,  apalagi harus identik dengan moderen. Ya, fitrah makhluq hidup -yang punya keinginan; mengatasi tantangan atau rintangan, mempermudah cara, dan  meningkatkan hasil atau kualitas hidup- itulah yang menjadi sebab mengapa teknologi ada,  sesederhana apapun bentuk dan cara kerjanya.

Manusia berupaya mengatasi tantangan, sehingga  menjadi punya dari sebelumnya tak punya, menjadi bisa dari sebelumnya tak bisa. Setelah itu, manusia berupaya mempermudah berbagai cara, sehingga lebih mudah untuk punya, lebih mudah untuk bisa, serta lebih mudah meraih hasrat dan menyampaikan maksud,. Tidak cukup sampai di situ, kemudian manusia berupaya meningkatkan apa yang telah  dihasilkan atau diperolehnya, sehingga hidupnya menjadi lebih baik;  tidak sekedar punya…, tidak sekedar bisa….

Dan ketika tahap meningkatkan hasil telah manusia lampaui, ia akan menemukan lagi tantangan baru yang harus diatasi, begitu seterusnya. Juga boleh jadi apa yang bagi seseorang sebagai upaya meningkatkan hasil ternyata bagi yang lain sebagai upaya mengatasi tantangan. Ya, karena dunia senantiasa berubah dan manusia berbeda di dalam kesempatan atau kemampuan. Akan tetapi prioritasnya tetap. Mengatasi tantangan, mempermudah cara, -terakhir-, meningkatkan hasil. Inilah yang logis dan berlaku di dalam segala urusan; makan, pakaian, tempat tinggal, pekerjaan, kesehatan, pendidikan, informasi, transportasi, telekomunikasi, dan….

Pasar…

adalah tempat bertemunya pembeli dengan penjual. Pasar hidup karena penawaran bertemu dengan permintaan.  Pasar hidup selagi pembeli dan penjual sama-sama untung.

Persaingan adalah nafas pasar, sedangkan tawar-menawar denyut nadinya. Dan produk-produk teknologi -ketika masuk pasar- juga tidak luput darinya; persaingan dan tawar-menawar.  Tentu saja pada asalnya pembeli menginginkan  produk  yang:

1. Paling Tinggi atau Besar Kemampuannya.

Teknologi yang paling tinggi / besar kemampuannya adalah jawaban untuk mengatasi tantangan, mempermudah cara, dan meningkatkan hasil. Setiap orang menginginkannya dan setiap penjualpun menjanjikannya. Di dalam perkara inilah produk teknologi pertama kali saling bersaing. Tetapi yang menikmati persaingan di tingkat ini hanya segelintir orang yang memang sudah mengerti produk dan sudah waktunya untuk menikmati. Selebihnya, hanya yang terbawa arus  menjadi korban peradaban.

2. Paling Mudah Mengoprasionalkannya.

Paling mudah menggunakannya, ringan, atau praktis menjadi alasan berikutnya. Dan para produsen -setelah sama unggul dalam hal kualitas-  berlomba di dalam hal ini. Yang rumit, berat, lemot, dan ribet akan dicampakkan dan tak akan laku di pasaran. Alasan pembeli di dalam perkara ini sangat logis.

3. Paling Murah Harganya.

Bahwa  lebih banyak  yang  memiliki kendala daya beli dari pada yang tidak itulah asal mula prinsip ini. Kalau bukan karena mantera para pedagang, manusia tak akan mabuk barang-barang mewah dan lupa dengan kemampuan daya belinya. Iklan dan promosi yang menyesatkan telah menyihir mereka sehingga tidak lagi berpikir “murah”, bahkan berpikir “pokoknya mahal”, karena yang mahal itu pasti bagus!

Tetapi tetap saja yang terbanyak adalah para pecinta barang murah. Terbukti, banyak sekali yang gampang terpancing membeli barang “asal murah”, meski mereka belum terlalu -bahkan mungkin tidak- membutuhkannya.  Karena alasan “murah” pula lah terkadang pembeli menjadi tidak terlalu rewel terhadap masalah praktis-tidaknya barang.

4. Paling Aman atau Sedikit Efek Sampingannya

Berpikir tentang efek sampingan bukan monopoli karakter manusia “posmo“. Orang jaman baheula pun punya kearifan itu. Teknologi yang mereka ciptakan, mulai dari rumah sampai ke persenjataan,  menunjukkan hal itu.

Hanya saja “moderenisasi” telah membius manusia menjadi tak lagi peka, Selama lebih dari satu abad manusia moderen sempat dibuat mati rasa oleh slogan ” stronger and faster“. Sampai akhirnya ketika berbagai dampak mulai tampak, dan manusia berpikir, “Ada yang salah dengan moderenisasi selama ini“, kesadaran dan kearifan itu pun pulih.

Mulailah “Back to nature“. Dari makanan, pakaian, rumah, sampai ke teknologi kedokteran dan pengobatan. Orang mulai memilih minum obat-obat herbal sebelum memutuskan untuk ke dokter, mencoba dibekam dulu sebelum menyerahkan diri ke rumah sakit.

Teknologi Ramah Lingkungan pun menjadi pilihan penting. Daun pisang kembali dilirik untuk mengambil alih fungsi Styrofoam sebagai pembungkus makanan, emisi otomotif mulai dipersoalkan, sampai ke alat tulis dan mainan anak-anak menjadi harus yang non-toxin.

Tetapi untuk kebanyakan orang kesadaran ini terlalu mewah dan dianggap mengada-ada, meski samar-samar mereka telah mendengar Borax, Formalin, atau Formaldehyde serta bahayanya.

5. Paling Bagus atau Indah Penampilannya.

Logisnya ini adalah pertimbangan yang terakhir setelah empat prinsip terdahulu. Tetapi kenyataannya malah ini yang sering mendominasi pertimbangan. Wajar saja, karena yang pertama kali dilihat orang adalah penampilan, karena kebanyakan manusia suka bermegah-megah, suka dilihat dan dipuji. Sifat semacam inilah yang dimanfaatkan para produsen dan pedagang.

Ya, kira-kira begitulah urutan logis -alasan masyarakat- memilih sebuah produk. Maka jika semua produk bersaing secara sehat, tentu yang laku adalah yang paling canggih, paling praktis, paling murah, paling aman, dan paling indah. Ini artinya kemenangan bagi pembeli.

Akan tetapi, pembeli tidak boleh jadi pemenang. Dan iklan, promosi, serta cara pembayaran telah menjadi perkara yang tidak bisa dipisahkan dari pasar, bahkan sangat menentukan, sehingga mampu mengubah-ubah urutan di atas sesuai dengan kemauan penjual.

Pasar memang -dan selalu- berpihak kepada pembeli, dan pembeli adalah “raja” bagi mereka. Hanya sayang, “raja” ini sering tak berdaya menghadapi kepandirannya sendiri dan kecerdikan (baca: kelicikan) para “pelayannya”, pedagang. Gempuran bertubi-tubi iklan yang memikat dan menyilaukan, bujuk rayu promosi yang menggiurkan -mulai dari diskon, hadiah, sampai ke layanan purna jual-, ditambah lagi dengan kemudahan pembayaran lewat cara-cara angsuran telah membuat “raja” tak lagi mampu berpikir logis dan murni berpihak kepada kebutuhannya sendiri.

Lebih dari itu, para pelayan (baca: pedagang) -yang kelihatannya berseteru dan saling bersaing- ini ternyata punya kepentingan bersama; memaksa “raja” melihat dunia sebagaimana mereka melihatnya. Mereka menjadikan iklan bukan lagi semata alat untuk membuat produk jadi terkenal. Lebih dari itu, mereka menjadikannya alat untuk mempengaruhi sistim nilai sang “raja” dan mengarahkannya kepada gaya hidup tertentu. Maka jadilah “raja” -yang tertawan ini- ibarat pemabuk yang keburu teler sebelum minum. Meski jasadnya masih di tahap “mengatasi tantangan“, namun jiwanya sudah jauh melayang ke tahap “meningkatkan hasil”.

Akhirnya, kualitas, brand image, dan alasan gaya hidup telah membuat “raja” meremehkan harga dan skala prioritas. “Murah dan Praktis” membuat “raja” tak mempedulikan faktor keamanan atau efek sampingan, juga  telah menyihirnya membeli produk yang belum tentu ia butuhkan. Dan sebodoh-bodoh “raja” adalah yang tertipu oleh kemasan. Ya, di dalam budaya pasar semacam inilah kita dibesarkan dan dibiasakan.

Pendidikan…

adalah upaya menjadikan yang dididik bisa berprilaku sesuai dengan harapan terbaik dan cita-cita termulia. Karenanya, pendidikan selalu punya harapan dan keyakinan, bahwa setelah melalui proses pendidikan seseorang akan menjadi lebih baik dari sebelumnya.

Lewat pendidikan manusia berharap bisa mengatasi tantangan, mempermudah, dan meningkatkan kualitas hidupnya. Untuk itu, berbagai ilmu tentangnya dikembangkan, berbagai cara dilakukan, dan berbagai alat diciptakan. Maka lahirlah teknologi pendidikan (-walaupun lebih tepat kalau saya katakan teknologi pengajaran-).

Jadilah kemudian; gedung, kelas, jejeran bangku menghadap papan tulis, termasuk taman bermain dengan ayunan berwarna-warni, juga pakaian seragam. Diadakanlah kemudian sekolah, kursus, seminar, atau pelatihan-pelatihan. Disusunlah kurikulum, dicetaklah buku-buku pegangan, disiapkan alat peraga dan laboraturium, diciptakan berbagai metode pembelajaran, serta dibuat alat pengukur hasil belajarnya.

Dan ketika teknologi pendidikan ini -dalam bentuk perangkat keras dan lunaknya- ditawarkan (baca: dipasarkan) , ia berhadapan dengan harapan-harapan masyarakat -yang sama seperti harapan mereka terhadap produk-produk teknologi lainnya- selama ini: yang paling berkualitas, paling murah, paling mudah, paling aman, dan paling cantik.

Dan lagi-lagi budaya pasar ikut bermain. Bukan pedagang namanya kalau tak punya jurus menaklukkan pembeli. Mulai dari brosur serta pamplet bergambar gedung megah dan suasana belajar yang menyenangkan, bermacam-macam pelayanan, sampai ke janji-janji prestasi dan kemudahan mencari lapangan kerja selepas masa belajar menjadi bagian dari promosi pendidikan. Dan sebagaimana slogan “Kesehatan itu Mahal” telah dijadikan pembenaran filosofis mahalnya berobat, “Pendidikan Itu Mahal” juga dijadikan pembenaran filosofis ; pendidikan adalah komoditi.

Ya, sekarang giliran orang tua murid menjadi “raja”.  Dibujuk untuk melompat jauh dari tahap “mengatasi tantangan” langsung ke tahap “meningkatkan hasil“, padahal belum waktunya. Terhuyung-huyung menapakkan langkahnya di bumi yang baru. Terbius oleh slogan-slogan atau brand image yang membuatnya tak punya pilihan selain menerima gaya hidup yang ditawarkan.

Tanggung Jawab Para Pendidik…

dewasa ini bukan hanya mempersiapkan generasi terpelajar. Para pendidik juga bertanggung jawab membebaskan “raja” dari tawanan para pelayannya (pedagang), bukan malah ikut-ikutan menggiring “raja” masuk ke dalam budaya pasar. Mereka bertanggung jawab; mengajak “raja” kembali menapaki buminya sendiri, memulihkan kesadaran dan rasa percaya dirinya, mengajarinya kembali cara melihat skala prioritas -sebagaimana fitrah telah mengajarinya- agar bisa mengambil keputusan sesuai dengan kebutuhan dan hati nuraninya.

Sesungguhnya budaya pasar ini telah menelan banyak korban; terfitnahnya ketulusan belajar-mengajar, pengharapan yang berlebihan terhadap lembaga pendidikan, dan   -yang terparah-  berapa banyak cita-cita telah ditenggelamkan dan bakat-bakat telah dibunuh olehnya. Maka membebaskan pendidikan dari budaya pasar bukan semata bertujuan menghindari komersialisasi pendidikan.  Lebih penting dari itu, membangun budaya tulus di dalam belajar-mengajar, menghilangkan ketergantungan kepada lembaga pendidikan, serta menyelamatkan bakat dan cita-cita generasi masa depan.

Ya, ini adalah tanggung jawab para pendidik. Dan tentu saja masih banyak orang-orang tulus, yang tidak berniat sama sekali menjadikan pendidikan sebagai komoditi. Namun kebanyakan mereka terikat secara sistim, bahkan terbelenggu secara struktural. Apalagi terbukti bahwa tidak ada satupun model lembaga pendidikan dewasa ini yang aman dari sergapan budaya pasar; tidak sekolah, tidak pesantren, tidak juga home schooling, apalagi sekedar lembaga kursus. Karenanya para pendidik juga harus pandai-pandai menjaga jarak dari perangkap pasar. Ya, jika kurang waspada dan tak menjaga jarak, tidak mustahil setiap usaha mulia ini (pendidikan) akan ditangkap oleh para “Impresario” untuk kemudian disulap jadi peluang bisnis.

Hello? (Hello? Hello? Hello?)

Anybody out there (out there? out there? out there?)?

Okay, it’s Thanksgiving Break and my workload, while sizable, seems manageable. So let’s bring PtP out of the coma for a while before exams. Unfortunately, my brain isn’t capable of tackling major issues like the healthcare bill or the terrorist trials in New York City (in sum: cautious pessimism and Republicans can suck it, the trial’s just for show anyway).

Instead, in honor of ending my dish washing days in one of Virginia Tech’s largest dining halls, I’m going to describe several things college students do to be general Dicks to dishwashing staff and the environment.
——

I spent a little over two months working in the dish room of West End Market. It was…tiring. I mean, there are worse jobs, in theory. But the shifts I was working combined with the general aversion I have toward being involved in the process of feeding people was definitely a downer on my workplace satisfaction.

In general, I find mass feeding operations to be vile. Virginia Tech has over 25,000 students eligible for a meal plan and the only restriction is whether you’re intelligent enough to realize that, without the 50% on-campus discount, you’re paying an obscene mark-up for the convenience of eating London Broil in between classes. But the real revulsion is a the simple result of numbers: Floods of students, thinking only about their own stomachs, lining up for collective hours to eat the same meals day after day after day. Literally tons of food are transported, processed, prepared, served, discarded, digested, and pooped out.

And to make sure that we don’t spread Norovirus or lose critical acclaim, every employee has to be the clean-shaven, sterilized customer’s bitch.

That’s like telling me I have to call the cow meandering over to graze on some cud “sir.”

Would you like me to pre-chew that gum for you, sir?

But, oh well, people have to eat.

But they don’t have to be dicks about it.

Here are the top things West End Market visitors do that pissed me off.

1. Order styrofoam “For Here”

When a register monkey asks you “for here” or “to go,” your response is meant to imply your intention with the consumption of that food. Will you eat it in the dining hall? In that case, they’ve got some lovely plates for you to eat off of. They’ve been scrubbed, powerwashed and dried for your convenience. Do you need to take the food back to your dormitory to catch Jeopardy? Well, the dining hall can provide you with a styrofoam box which, while unfortunately terrible for the environment, will keep your food warm on the journey back.

I’m pretty sure the intention wasn’t for you to simply take the styrofoam box inside the dining hall and then leave it for the dishwashers to throw away, you morons.

This is what a dishwasher has to do with the boxes: Grab them off the conveyer line, rip off the tops, dig through your leftovers to find the silverware you used and then stuff the styrofoam into the trash can, piling them several boxes high. Literally, the bulk of the trash that leaves West End Market is styrofoam. It goes off to a landfill, never to biodegrade, never to be reused, just taking up space. And for what? So you could feel like you had a bigger portion (because you don’t)? So you didn’t have to deal with the heaviness of a plate, Mr. I Can Bench 350? WHY? WHY would you order “to go” if you’re just going to sit your ass down and talk about your boring-ass day with your bros or your stupid sorority girlfriend? WHY? Do you HATE Planet Earth? Like, are you doing it on PURPOSE? There is no good reason to order styrofoam “for here.” You’re just being cruel.

But, as I mentioned, there’s a special class of For-Here Styrofoam Asshole. And that’s the guy who…

2. Sticks Silverware INSIDE Styrofoam boxes

So you’ve decided to take a crap on Mother Nature and order Styrofoam for here. But that’s not enough. You’ve decided to take part in a practice that wastes the time of any Dish person working the line. Rather than going a step further in non bio-degradable waste and dealing with the inconvenience of opening the to-go plastic fork-and-knife pack, you’re going to pick up silverware and use that to eat. And then what are you going to do with it? Are you going to place it on top of the box, for the Dish person to pick up and set aside?

No.

No, you’ve decided that you hate the people working in dish. So you’re going to leave the silverware inside the box, forcing the person on the line to dig through your meat-sauce and mushroom-gravy remains to find the pieces of metal that can’t be discarded. And it’s not just a select few idiots who do this. ALMOST EVERYONE WHO GETS STYROFOAM “FOR HERE” PUTS THEIR SILVERWARE IN THE BOX. It’s like 85 percent. It’s like you all had an ASSHOLE convention and decided that this was the optimal way to fuck with the environment AND the person throwing away your leftovers.

Oh, and then there’s always the considerate douchebag who sticks his fork and knife into the styrofoam box as if they formed Excalibur in the fucking stone. There. Now you know that there’s silverware in there and you don’t have to rummage through saliva. You know what? THAT’S NOT HELPFUL. The silverware just gets stuck in the conveyer belt, making it difficult to extract. It’s also not fun to have to pull that crap out of there. What? Do you think styrofoam is smooth like butter? You’re STILL AN ASSHOLE, King Arthur.

3. Waste Food

I get it. It’s not your money. Mommy and Daddy paid for your meal plan and they’ll probably also pay for your additional Flex dollars, after you splurge on $30 of DX food while suffering from the drunken munchies.

Does it really justify throwing away almost all your food?

There are two huge culprits at West End Market for food waste. One is the Bread Bowl Soups. They’re significantly more expensive than just soup-in-a-bowl. That’s because it’s a huge freaking loaf of gourmet bread filled with soup. But, apparently, you think you’re paying for some special, magic ingredient that makes the soup twice as expensive and has nothing to do with the bread, because you fucking LEAVE THE WHOLE LOAF, stained with chilli sauce and vegetable broth. WHAT. THE. FUCK?

The second even worse offender is the goddamn salad. I have scraped away more lettuce bits and cherry tomatoes than money wasted by the federal government. THAT’S A LOT OF FREAKING SALAD. Seriously, they’re practically untouched! It looks like the ONLY thing that’s been done to the salad is that it’s been doused in honey mustard or ranch dressing. What, is this like an art project for you? Are you just spreading the dressing around because you’re bored?

I know EXACTLY what’s going on there. Some stupid Tri-Delt is “on a diet” and orders the Grilled Chicken Salad. She proceeds to gobble the chicken, smothered in calorie-rich dressing. She sniffs around at the vegetables and maybe eats a leaf or two. She decides she’s not hungry. So she proceeds to THROW AWAY THE SALAD and then goes and splurges on ice cream or fried chicken fingers with fries (of which she will also throw half away). Then she’ll wonder while she’s bouncing on her treadmill why that small pouch of fat just won’t go away and she’ll consider simply puking it away. Meanwhile, I’m on the other side of that conveyer belt horrified at the fifty gardens I’m tossing just because some BITCH is obsessing over what meal will make her look good in her SLUT UNIFORM for this weekend’s party.

ARRRRRRRGH!

4. Bring in outside food and put it on the conveyer belt

You know what West End doesn’t serve? Cinnabon. You know what else it doesn’t serve? Chick Fil-A. At least those two are on campus. But you know what else it doesn’t serve? CHINESE TAKE-OUT. WENDY’S. PAPA JOHN’S. D.P. DOUGH. NONE of these are served in the restaurant and yet ALL of these find their way onto the West End conveyer belt. WHY? You just HAD to meet your friends in the dining hall? You couldn’t have stuffed your face alone for fifteen minutes and caught up with them later? What, do you have some spiritual connection related to food that prevents you from not being a huge dick and giving me additional trash to dispose of?

Listen, I understand that there are no trash cans in West End. But there are trash cans OUTSIDE West End. Why not just take a few additional steps and throw it away there? It’s the principle of the thing. I was hired by public tax dollars to dispose of food that was paid for by Virginia Tech. I wasn’t hired to be some other company’s dumpster-man. So why don’t you take your Thank You Thank You Thank You bag and stuff it somewhere-freaking-else, because I’m already up to my EYEBALLS in styrofoam and food waste and I don’t have to deal with your half-eaten Lo Mein on top of that.

Those are the top offenses that will stick with me forever. It’s simple math, I suppose. The larger the operation, the bigger propensity for a customer base to act Troll-ish. But, please, if you’re a Tech student and you’re reading this, consider your actions. Not only are you being criminally negligent to the environment, but you’re also PISSING off other students, peers, human beings. Let me break it down for you.

1. Don’t order “To-Go” when you intend to eat in the dining hall.
2. If you’re going to insist, then put your damn silverware FLAT and ON TOP of the box when you put it on the conveyer box.
3. Eat your damn food. It’s in the box anyway, take it back to your room, offer it to a hobo, do SOMETHING besides giving it to me to throw away.
4. Toss your outside food OUTSIDE

And if you’re that wonderful person who manages to put a styrofoam box with silverware deep inside a complete salad next to a Cinnabon box, then you are a bad person. And not like a, “Oh, Paul, he’s kind of an asshole, but he’s still fun and cool” bad person, but you’re worse than freakin’ Saddam Hussein. You are seriously psychotic and should be put away. Who taught you to behave that way? What Satanist manual tells you to just wave your genitals in the face of everything decent and reasonable?

I quit being a dishwasher. And 50% of the reason is people who don’t even bother pretending to be decent.

Let the Thanksgiving blogging continue!

Michael Salter is head of the digital arts department at the University of Oregon.  His work is pretty much the reason I got into digital art.  Check it out.  His styrofoam robots even made it into Kanye’s blog a while back.  He’s big time.

If you go to Oregon, take a class from this guy.

Website hurr.

Michael Salter is head of the digital arts department at the University of Oregon.  His work is pretty much the reason I got into digital art.  Check it out.  His styrofoam robots even made it into Kanye’s blog a while back.  He’s big time.

If you go to Oregon, take a class from this guy.

Website hurr.

fabioviale.com

Because the climate has been so spectacular of late, it’s been possible and desireable to hang out in the park to make and see what one can.  This is another bird post, but one that specializes in what’s possible here in the fall.  Some of these species are found no where else…and for good reason.  I start with a shot of the typical terrain one encounters at this time of year.  What is a bird without some context?  Naturally, the river predominates as the distinct landscape feature with mixed hardwoods flanking the shoreline.  I’ll start first with an American Coot.  Not a particularly rare bird, but one I always enjoy seeing at the river.  I came across this lone individual and snapped this quick image for luck.  The true rarities are ahead.

In the western section of the park a couple of late nesting birds can be found among the exposed roots of the great trees.  This is the home of the Styro-Grackle and the Fleur-de-lis Dovelette.  The next two images are of the grackle.  I stumbled upon a male with its great yellow bill displaying with the remains of a baby’s pacifier.  In this species, males vie for the attention of females by choosing objects they believe the females will like.  The Styro-Grackle is a large, and noisey bird, but wary to the extreme.

Here’s a close-up image of its head, bill, and pacifier it found by the river.

Often found in association with the grackles are the gentle Fleur-de-Lis Dovelettes.  The female specimen I came across was sitting on a fresh nest.  No eggs were observed within it.  The dovelette is not particularly fussy about what materials it uses to construct its bowl-like nest.  This one was made from shredded plastic with hardly a trace of natural fibers interwoven into its structure.  First, a picture of the bird itself in its woody habitat.

The bird derives its common name from the unusual crest upon its head.  It is rumored that this was the inspiration for the symbol used by the City of Louisville on its flag, official letterhead, etc…  More than likely though, it’s just a coincidence.  Like many dove species, this one has tiny feet.  Here’s a good look at the unusual nest constructed in the fork of a tree root.

And here is the bird and nest joined together.  I didn’t linger because I didn’t want to disturb the dovelette anymore than I had to.  If the conditions are right, she will lay three to four light green eggs.  The dovelette will have to stand guard against raccoons, but otherwise her young have a good chance of reaching maturity.  Wild prairie grass seeds make up much of its diet.

Near the middle of the park, Cane Run Creek flows into the Ohio River.  It’s a spot that’s favored by fisherman and birds alike.  Large rocks and trees deposited by flooding line its banks.  Because of the vagaries of the larger river, the creek’s appearance is highly variable.  It was in this area that I came across a rare and unusual shorebird that I would like to share with you.  Here are two images of the Jet Piper.  It is so named because it evolved a distinct crest that is believed to stabilize it during its speedy flight.  One sees a similar structure on the tail of modern aircraft.  The Jet Piper never stays in one place for long.  It probes the mud along the creek bank in search of worms and other invertebrates.  Recent studies have shown that this piper will on rare occasions, take nectar from hummingbird feeders.  Here are two views.

The last specialty I came across is one of the sweetest singers in the park.  In fact, that’s how I located the Styro-wood Wren first…by its optimistic, cheery song.  I was sitting in my usual spot under the willows when I heard it nearby.  I took a position along a path I thought it might take and with success, recorded these images of this rare endemic bird.

On a sunny morning, the Styro-wood Wren was making its rounds in the underbrush.  Its singing has more to do with staking its feeding territory than it does with finding a mate.  That will change once Spring arrives at the Falls once again.  Among the interlopers that the wood wren is trying to discourage are other members of the family Troglodytidae.  Sharing its range at various times are Carolina Wrens, House Wrens, and the tiny Winter Wrens.  That’s a lot of competition to try and discourage.  This particular bird was in rare form and seemed to pose for my camera.

It spread its fan-tail and with a shudder of its brown- wings burst into song.  The small feathers along its neck make an attractive collar.

CODA:

I made these birds from materials I found in the park.  All the plastic and Styrofoam elements were once in the Ohio River where they interact with the natural ecosystem.  Among the other materials used include:  tree bark (for wings), coal (for eyes), and rootlets and twigs (for the legs).  I make these artworks to call attention to the condition of the land and water, to draw attention to the unique qualities of this place, to celebrate creativity, and because I love birds!  All the photos are mine and shot on location at the Falls of the Ohio State Park.

While I was making my faux birds, the real articles were busy in the tree tops above my studio.  Among my favorites to watch are the Golden-crowned Kinglets.  These tiny birds are ever in motion and hard to photograph!  Here are a few more real bird pictures.

Lastly, the nest featured with the Fleur-de-lis Dovelette is in fact a genuine bird nest.  I found it in the branches of a downed tree.  I have no idea which species created it.  I have seen within the park, the nest of a Northern Oriole that used cast-off fishing monofilament in its construction.  I do, however, think I located a source for the plastic fibers.  Near the discovered nest, a large barge rope was slowly unraveling and its threads look identical to the ones in the nest I came across.

On a warm Kentuckiana weekend I spent as much time along the river as I could “safely” justify doing.  Days like this don’t stick around forever.   Before you know it, the chill in the air will hang there for months until it is relieved by Spring.   On Saturday, there was the street wide clean-up with the family and neighbors, but after that I was gone for a few hours.  The following couple of posts are the things I encountered and made during these golden moments.

This was the only humanoid-type figure I made over the weekend.  He has a decidedly happy expression on his face that comes from being created on a perfect day.  I moved this piece all over the place, but decided that I liked it best posed next to this glowing wild grapevine.  The glasses on his head lend an additional carefree attitude to this work.  His eyes are plastic fishing bobbers and his nose is a corn cob.  The ears are the bottom of an aluminum can I split in two with my pocket knife.  The mouth is a red piece of plastic I found.  I embedded a yellow reflector into his chest for added visibility.  The rest is Styrofoam and sticks courtesy of man and the Ohio River.

I found a couple of other “happy” objects along the western section of the park and photographed them in place.  The first looks to be a green, bouncy, child’s toy and I wondered how far this thing floated to get here?  The second image takes me back to my childhood.  Isn’t it interesting that we can recognize all things Kool-aid from this fragment of a child’s canteen?  Of all the ways there are to render a face…this one remains distinctive.  Perhaps it’s in the comma-shape eyes and eyebrows?

I lost myself noticing how much things change in the park depending on the season.  With the leaves off of the trees, all of a sudden the view gets large again.  I spent a few hours collecting materials that washed up here last week including four large Styrofoam sections tumbled by the river.  I had hoped to be able to make something from these in short order, but realized that they were out of scale to my ideas.  So, I hauled them up to my studio site where they look like big piles of snow melting in the woods.  I figure I have probably till January’s high waters to make something from them.

I left this piece standing to await whatever fate has in store for it.  The other found object pieces I made are all birds.  My gallery representative requested a few to use for a small show in a hotel I believe?  As I made them, I photographed them in different places at the Falls.  I have also been busy trying to mount these sculptures onto bases made from driftwood.  The experience of seeing my “faux” birds in the woods is totally different from seeing them as more formal art objects.  By now, I think you know which I prefer seeing.  I’ll show them to you, later this week.

I still haven’t got around to decorating my styrofoam head, but I went ahead and used it to display a hat for picture-taking the other day.  It worked great!

Also, Sallie and I went to a thrift store yesterday and I noticed that they had quite a few styrofoam heads with hats on them.  And someone had drawn faces in marker on a few of them.  Which looked kinda silly, but also cute.  I’m half tempted to do that with mine, but I think paper mache will probably look a lot better.  Although… well, the head was only a couple of dollars.  And the store had a whole mountain of them.  I could buy another one…

As midterms have come and gone, I have successfully consumed more coffee in 2 weeks than most humans consume in an entire year.  I went from Dunkin’ Donuts to Starbucks and back again and again and again and again.  Being from Canada, I have been without Tim Horton’s for over 2 months which is more than I can bear; I miss my medium double doubles with a passion and wish they would open a location in downtown Boston. **Side note, mediums in Canada are extra smalls in America, it’s really quite something to see.  Since Tim’s is no where to be found, I’ve realized that Dunkin’ Donuts (DD) is the closest alternative, and a good one at that.  Aside from the taste, I’m loving the super functional lid that enables you to open and close the sippy cup opening, keeping your coffee as hot or cold as you’d like it to be.   The greatest thing about DD though, is the fact that they are still using the non biodegradable Styrofoam cups to serve their coffee in, and no one has said a word about it.  No protests, no boycotts, no nothing, I LOVE IT.

DD lid, so functional

I love knowing the fact that a multi Billion dollar company like DD get’s zero flack about these cups, and if Starbucks were to suddenly switch to Styrofoam, there would be an international uproar condemning the company for being the root cause of global warming.   All of this is to say, that sometimes it pays to be number 2.

When you’re number 1 like Starbucks, everyone is looking at your every move.  Because they generate such high revenue streams, advocacy groups are always on the lookout for any corporate irresponsibility that might be taking place.  Now I’m not talking about a multi national VS a small local coffee shop here, I’m talking about a 10 billion dollar plus company VS a 5 billion dollar plus company.  It’s not as though DD is a small mom and pop shop, they’re making some serious coin, which is why it’s all the more impressive that they’ve been able to sweep this issue under the rug without anyone paying attention.    Meanwhile, Starbucks (the largest purchaser of coffee in the world) is forced to buy fair trade coffee at a premium price so advocacy groups will get off their backs about making so much money. What’s more, Starbucks has started to print on their cup sleeves that the sleeves themselves are made of 60% post-consumer fibre (wow, I think they just saved 1/100 of a tree from being cut down).  If you like, you can read about how environmentally friendly they are at starbucks.com/sharedplanet, I know this because they also printed that on their sleeve.   So what’s DD doing to let their consumers know what a great company they are for the greater good of humanity????  Well, not much. Their business is making great on the go coffee for millions of American’s who don’t have time to think about issues like environmentally friendly cups. Instead, they’re using customer friendly cups. See, if you’ve ever had a cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee, you’d know that the extra thick Styrofoam cups they use don’t require a sleeve to keep your hand from getting burnt; the Styrofoam itself protects your hand while keeping your coffee hotter, longer.

So kudos to you Dunkin’ Donuts for getting away with one, way to stick it to the environmentalists, save yourself some money, and protect your customers hands at the same time.  I may not have my Tim Horton’s to sip on everyday, but rest assured that Adam Mintz will continue to run on Dunkin when he needs his caffeine boost, and on occasion, buy from Starbucks when he wants to feel good about recyclable content of his coffee sleeve.

So often it has been the case that I would see a really special creature shortly after arriving at the Falls.  I surprised this juvenile Cooper’s Hawk resting in a Cottonwood tree and it let me approach quite close before flying onto the railroad bridge.  As this bird matures, the brown streaks on its breast will take on a reddish hue and the feathers on its back will become more gray.  Even the eye color will turn red over time.  They are fearsome and effective hunters and routinely take the pigeons that roost along our bridges.  This bird has caught one of its tail feathers on the branch it is resting on giving it a somewhat awkward look indicative of its youth.

Here’s a larger image of this bird. I have photographed other Cooper’s Hawks over the years including one that was devouring a garter snake.  I have seen several juvenile birds here, so there must be at least one nesting pair that call this park home.  On the day I snapped this hawk I also came across a Canada Goose that was walking the shoreline.  It paid no attention to the Styrofoam gathering on the beach.  Wish I could do the same!

Several large chunks of Styrofoam washed ashore this time.  I struggled to get these larger pieces up higher on the beach.  If they are still there when I next visit, I will make something with them.  I will end this time with a couple other images from this day.  Here’s another Little Deer image that shows its glowing eye a bit better.  And, last but not least, here is a nice picture of the railroad bridge just before sun down.  This is the one that the hawk flew onto after I spotted it.

In the week since I last visited the Falls of the Ohio, we had enough rain for the Ohio River to rise once again.  The willow trees nearest to the bank were a few feet underwater.  I found the remains of Watchful Willie from a couple of posts ago as well as ”fresh” polystyrene scattered all along the shoreline.  I only had a few hours to work this day, so I tried to make the best of it.  Feeling the sunshine again was alone worth the trip, but I saw and made enough stuff to allow me several posts for the week.  Here is my latest Styrofoam creation made spontaneously as the sun was setting.

Rummaging around my studio cache of materials under the willow trees I improvised this Little Deer.  It turned out more naturalistic than I anticipated.  Its head is a triangular-shaped piece of thin insulation foam, while the rest of its body is more found Styrofoam.  As is my habit, I have not tried to carve or shape the foam the river has given me.  It’s more about being choosy about what forms I use to begin with.  The work is held together with sharpened pegs.  I did, however, shorten the sticks I used for the legs with my pocket knife.  I attempted to create “eyes” by piercing the blue foam with a small wooden pin, but it left the hole you see and I liked it and left it as is.  The ears are made of pine bark and the tail is another piece of wood.  What’s different this time is that I didn’t try to incorporate another plastic element into the piece.

I walked west along the Indiana side of the river stopping every once in a while to record an image in situ with Little Deer.  The way the light plays with the “eye-hole” causes it to glow and gives it another spark of life.  It made me recall the Henry Moore retrospective I saw at the Guggenheim Museum in New York years ago.  How Moore was able to use a hole as a form in his sculptures remains amazing.  The waves coming ashore threaten to sweep the deer away, but I placed it just out of reach.  Still, the sense that the work is vulnerable comes through the photographs.

One last image with the Little Deer.  This time I set it down next to the fruit of an Osage Orange tree to give it some sense of scale.  Some folks know these as “hedge apples”.  Since today is my sister Pat’s birthday, I would like to dedicate this piece to her.  I hope you had a nice day!  The parting image is something I’m beginning to see with more regularity now.

When the trees at the Falls of the Ohio reach peak color, birders keep an eye open for avian rarities.  The Uncommon Bluebill may or more likely may not appear in the park.  Usually birders have to settle for glossy pictures of this bird in fancy magazines devoted to all things…birds.  Those images are usually taken in the bluebill’s northern haunts during the breeding season when the birds are a bit more distracted as they go through their courtship gyrations.  This post is about a personal stroke of luck as I had a once in a lifetime opportunity to record the Uncommon Bluebill at the Falls of the Ohio.

And here it is!  As advertised, this bird does possess a distinctly blue beak.  It’s a little larger than the average wood warbler and has some of the same foraging behaviors.  Other distinct features for identification purposes include a white body and pink tail.  This bird is equally at home on the ground or in the top most branches of a tree.  I do confess that I wasn’t looking for this bird for that would be an excercise in frustration.  In a way, it has to find you and you have to be prepared to receive it when it appears.  That is why I bring my camera with me whenever I’m here.

I recall that a few Golden-crowned Kinglets proceeded the bluebill.  I was watching the kinglets and their hovering, mid-air investigations of the undersides of leaves when from the corner of my eye I noticed a bird that was distinctly not a kinglet.  The Uncommon Bluebill moved easily from a branch to the trunk of a tree ready to pounce on the insects it discovered.  Some of my best shots of this single bird were in association with a Milkweed vine that held its attention for a while.  It was so intent in its pursuit that it did not notice me observing it from behind a large willow.

I held my breath and hoped the digitally- produced mechanical camera noise would not frighten it away.  The bird hung around for a minute and no longer.  After that, it was gone.  I walked silently over the dropped willow leaves and back to my car.  I had just seen a creature so rare that it was essentially a ghost.  What could possibly top that as an experience today?

All smiles, Caitlin Beyer catches a mello left.

This week The Surf Check is doing things a little differently. Kyle Neddenriep spoke with Caitlin Beyer, a surfer and ocean conservationist. She has some interesting insight on just how people treat the ocean. So, listen up.

If the plug-in for this page is unavailable or off-line Caitlin’s interview can be heard or downloaded here.

As promised, the weekend at the river was gorgeous.  I spent the greater part of Sunday in the sun and being absorbed by my absurd art form.  The willow leaves that hadn’t already dropped to the ground were now more yellow than green.  Autumn is a fragile season at the Falls.  If you blink you can miss it and I wanted to place a figure in this setting before that happened.  I moved to my studio spot and created this guy from materials I had gathered previously and snapped these images.

Here’s Willie’s head in my hand.  I started with an odd-shaped hunk of weathered Styrofoam and fished out some bobbers from my bag to use for eyes.  As you can see, they don’t exactly match, but they work with the form and make it more expressive.  The mouth is a piece of red plastic and I’m not sure what the nose was in a previous life.  Maybe you do?

While I worked on my figure, I wasn’t completely alone.  This handsome gray squirrel decided that I posed no threat and sat on the opposite end of the same log I was sitting on!  None of my movements seemed to concern it and so I kept doing what I was doing and it did the same.  I have had the feeling on more than one occasion that animals reveal their presence to me.  Connecting with life in those moments is a truly magical and intimate experience.  If that happened to more people regularly, there would be no question about falling in love with nature or the need to preserve it.

The chunk of Styrofoam I selected for the body was really flawed and split easily.  I was barely able to get the legs in before the whole piece started falling apart.  I picked a spot that had all these other “elements” to it and gingerly stuck the sculpture into the wet sand.  When I categorize my work as being “absurd”, it is meant to refer to more than just the figures.  Coming across a stretch of the Ohio River that has several tires, plastic barrels, and rusted-out water heaters along it is equally ridiculous.  The figures I make help create focal points at particular sites and remind people that this kind of callous treatment of a precious resource is something no other animal would think of doing.

I left this figure standing next to the debris and returned to my studio under the willows.  I have long come to the realization that try as I might, I just can’t take all this trash with me.  I have enough river-turned Styrofoam at home to continue this project for a couple of years.  By leaving a work every once in a while I hope that visitors will get the idea that some measure of creativity is required to address the pollution dilemma and that this creativity potentially resides in everyone.  And since I consider the river to be a co-creator in this artwork, there’s probably some karmic significance to letting the water have the last word every now and then.

Polystyrene products await trash pick-up. Inexpensive polystyrene products like these end up in oceans around the world.

Courtesy Wiki Commons

Earlier this year Palo Alto, Calif. moved to ban all Polystyrene products from the city for environmental and economic reasons. The ban, effective April, 2010, reflects a growing trend in coastal communities all over the United States and in particular, California. Pasticsnews.com reported on the ban and says that Palo Alto will become the 23rd California city to ban the common take-out packaging.

Polystyrene is one of the most common forms of food packaging. The packing material Styrofoam, a trademark of the Dow Chemical company, is a Polystyrene, but the term polystyrene encompasses more then just Styrofoam. The ban in Palo Alto will extend to all polystyrene products including utensils, cups, and packaging peanuts.

Palo Alto’s reasoning behind ban is similar to other municipalities. Polystyrene material, due to its chemical composition, never biodegrades. While it is potentially recyclable it is given a number “6” recyclable classification. This requires a different process than other recyclables, and the infer-structure to recycle polystyrene can be very expensive.

A Palo Alto city councilmen in favor of the band explained it as such, as reported by PlasticsNews.com “Ongoing logistical challenges and quality control challenges related to the minimal recycling material for expanded polystyrene make even the recycling program for peanuts and blocks infeasible.”

Polystyrene includes packing peanuts like these and other products commonly referred to as Styrofoam.

Courtesy of coddogblog at Flicker

If, like in Palo Alto, recycling methods are not available, polystyrene ends up in landfills. Or in the case of coastal cities, potentially in the ocean. While the polystyrene ban is reported to have had some economic impacts; polystyrene floats and never biodegrades. For this reasons it has caused some real problems for coastal waters and their communities.

The city of Watsonville, located in Santa Cruz County recently moved forward with a ban on polystyrene. The Surfrider Foundation profiled and supported the ban. It celebrated it as the first polystyrene free county. In a press release Surfrider reported that, “With the recent addition of Watsonville and Scotts Valley to the list, joining the City of Santa Cruz, Santa Cruz County and City of Capitola, Santa Cruz County is now the first and only multiple-jurisdiction county in California to have a styro-ban in all jurisdictions within the county limits.”

In 1990, Berkley, became one of the first California cities to implement a ban on “restaurants and retail food vendors from serving prepared food” in polystyrene based products. In 2005 and 2006 other beach cities such as Santa Monica, San Francisco, and Huntington Beach sought their own bans. Heal the Bay, a environmental group concerned with our nations coastal reasons, has a comprehensive document compiling the bans as of 2007 and is available for download here.

]]> http://dallasyankee.com/2009/10/24/autoshopping/ Sat, 24 Oct 2009 23:32:46 +0000 Dallas Yankee http://dallasyankee.com/2009/10/24/autoshopping/

One of the ways I was enticed into coming to Dallas – aside from the jo of knowing that the Giants christened the new Dallas stadium – was that Betsy offered to buy me a car. Not just any car, either. I wanted a Challenger. It’s not my dream car (that would be a ‘70 Boss 302), but I’d take either the ‘70 Challenger or the new one. It was a pipedream, I knew – Betsy likes high-end luxury cars – but it was a nice thought anyway to imagine the rumble of my big Dodge engine tumbling down the sunlit Dallas streets.

Car shopping in Dallas was an interesting day. While we were expecting a slew of Swift Herberts to waste our time while we potentially wasted theirs, we were mostly pleasantly surprised. The first place we went to, we were greeted by Dick. Dick spent a good while trying to play to Betsy’s penchant towards luxury cars. He played the “appease the woman” card all he could, just barely letting us off the lot after almost two hours and a test drive in a nice pre-owned Mercedes coupe. As we were leaving, another couple were looking at the same Mercedes, leaving Dick to insist that we come back soon. He called while we were on our way to the next lot. Of course, having no car, we had cabbed it to the lot and were walking to the next one, a fact that caused Dick and his assistant to laugh heartily.

The next stop was at a beautiful dealership. Seriously, who knew that a car lot could be so nice. This place had marble floors, dark wood, a lounge with drinks and coffee and, most importantly, flatscreens with college football on. Oddly enough, the lounge was occupied by at least four or five men who did not appear to work at the dealership, nor did they appear to be car shopping. It’s one thing if we were at a department store and the men were watching TV while their wives shopped (“Psst! Over here, in Petites”), but this was a car dealership. I would have thought that the guys would have been at least mildly interested in the vehicles, not least of all because even if their wives were shopping, they’d like to know before she dropped upwards of $60K on a Merc.

Anyway, much like this next thing, maybe it’s a Texas thing. We were greeted and helped by Monty who took us to his office to chat. He offered us water, which we accepted. He said, “Well, help yourself,” and pointed to the lounge area. Very nice. Then, “we’ve gone green so we’ve got styrofoam cups.” I laughed. Seriously, I thought he was joking. I know you can recycle here in Texas, but I see very few blue cans. In fact, our building has just a few and they are hidden away in the garage. Monty meant, I guess, that they’d gotten rid of plastic bottles. Baby steps, though I’m not sure which way they’re walking.

We ended up not getting a car, but while waiting for a taxi to pick us up and drive us home, a mint condition ‘67 Mustang, the color of a styrofoam cup, rolled into the parking lot. That made my day worthwhile, despite having been told all day how great an ‘01 Lexus was, and how 100,000 miles
on an Acura was “practically nothing. If only they still made them like they used to, I’d have easily walked away with at least a couple.

After last week’s excitement in the form of an exhibition and talk, life is returning to a slower pace.  Autumn is in full swing now.  When the sun is shining there are still enough leaves with great color left on the trees to make things seem magical.  On the other hand, after days of rain and overhanging clouds…it’s easy to get a case of the grays.  Following are a few images from last weekend.  I did come across an unexpected bird that is new to my Falls of the Ohio checklist.  I was able to watch a pair of Prothonotary Warblers for a few minutes and managed a couple of really  blurry images with my camera.  The park’s official checklist lists them as being only occasional for the spring season.  So, I’m feeling lucky to have seen them unexpectedly.

The park’s woodchuck’s are busy putting on weight for the hibernation to come.  It seems this has been a decent year for them.  I’ve seen many and stepped into more than one unseen burrow entrance. It’s been a good year watching animals in general.  The mink sighting earlier in the year was a highlight.  It’s only a matter of time before I surprise a deer in the park.  Signs of them are starting to show up everywhere.

I’m still finding unusual plastic stuff all the time.  Despite walking familiar routes through the park, I keep coming across items deposited here by past floods.  Here’s a plastic model Mustang car.  It was lying snug next to a log.  I have other images of shoes and plastic gasoline containers as well that I’ll use to eventually update those image collections on this blog.  With many of the willow trees losing their leaves, my secret studio spot is easier to find than ever.  Here’s what it looks like currently.  Prince Madoc is keeping a good watch over things!  According to the extended forecast, tomorrow is supposed to be the one sunny day of the week.  I’ve promised myself an extended outing at the Falls.  Whatever I make or document will be my posts for the upcoming week.

In the interest of full disclosure, I have to tell you that I actually wrote the majority of this post last year. And not that I’m so brilliant or anything, but I wanted to run it again to highlight the fact that despite a bout of Buddhist soul-searching in order to instill some semblance of self-realization upon my children, their materialistic yearnings are in full swing, yet again, this Halloween.

In fact, not much has changed chez nous this year: The $7 Mona Lisa’s skeleton portrait, purchased from the Chinese crap factory otherwise known as Party City, hangs on the door in an effort to thwart my kids’ relentless requests for a styrofoam graveyard on the (ec0)lawn. We grew three gorgeous pumpkins in the garden this summer, which are just waiting to be carved. And despite the fact that I’ve been hoarding cardboard in anticipation of designing some truly terrifying gravestones, last night they told me anything homemade wouldn’t be scary enough.

Sigh.

Yes, Halloween has truly evolved from what I knew as a kid:  Kleenex ghosts hung with thread in the window, a few hand-carved pumpkins on the porch, a pillowcase to carry the loot and a ghost costume made from a sheet over my head. (A sheet with the over-the-head part colored yellow made me an fried egg one year. The visual still makes me cringe.)

Today I get guilt from my kids every time we exit or enter the house. Why don’t we have cobwebs. Why can’t we get a tombstone. Why nothing screams or sighs when you pass through our front door.I’ve tried to explain that we’re trying not to buy so much plastic. I’ve tried to explain that plastic is made from oil, and oil is non-renewable, causes pollution and wars (not necessarily in that order) and that it never, ever goes away, it just breaks into tiny little pieces that swirl in the middle of the ocean. My in-laws even made bat cut-outs for the windows.

All they want is a $49.99 screaming ghost hanging in our entry way. Oh, and candy, did I mention the candy?

Far be it from me to deny my kids a little Halloween candy. But it’s with a wince that I witness the bags stacked high in the supermarkets, filled with candy that’s made with (un)fair trade chocolate, artificial food colorings that have been linked to hyperactivity and ADD, and high fructose corn syrup, which health experts say alters the way our metabolic-regulating hormones function and basically tricks our bodies into wanting to eat more and more of it. (Ergo the post trick-or-treating gluttony.)

Last year, I sourced candy free of petrochemically derived artificial colors and flavors, and not made in China (whose melanin-tainted milk chocolate gave us quite a scare). I found indie packs of USDA certified organic cotton candy made from evaporated cane juice, single-serving bags of organic gummy worms, individually-wrapped organic hard candies and yummy bubblegum made from a natural chicle gum base sustainably harvested in Central American rain forests, rather than the synthetic plastic that’s in conventional gum. (Thinking twice about handing out Hubba Bubba?)

That didn’t stop my kids from bringing home bulging bags of chemically-enhanced candy, which they ate in gluttonous frenzy until they made themselves sick.

This year, I might just shut off the lights and hide. Although the sight of the Barnacle (read: baby) done up like a kitty-cat might be worth staying up for. I think I’ll leave the lights on. Keep the bats in the windows. And hand out organic pretzels.