Simone in a fishnet suit being a camwhore probably with Simon.

Ramesh, by brother-in-law, the gym instructor was ogling me lustfully and was speaking with the typical double entendres. When I asked what he wanted he told that he wanted milk. When I asked what he will give back if I give milk, he said I can have plantain or ice-cream whichever way I see.

This kind of teasing and laughing was going on and I was in a semi-drugged state and desperately needed a fuck. He seem to understand this and didn’t make any move and deliberately teased me. He said he wanted to take bath first and then lunch. If I want I can help him in his bath. I said ok and I will help him in his bath.

He asked me to apply oil first in his body and then for the bath. So I took a good amount of gingely oil from kitchen and started applying in his body. He was in in his lungi, he got up, dropped his lungi and sat in a stool with just his briefs on. The briefs showed his shapely manhood in full size. I was shamelessly watching it and asked him to be comfortable.

Ramesh was sitting in a stool with just his briefs. I was wearing a nighty with nothing inside. I stood in front of Ramesh and started applying oil in his hair. My boobs was dangling in front of his face and my legs are in-between his spread-out legs touching his thighs. He started enjoying this and without any qualms he pressed my butts with both his hands and started squeezing it.

At the same time he was smooching my breasts with his face and started nibbling my nipples. This continued for some time with both of us enjoying the movements. I started moving the oil massage to his neck and further below his bare back by bending over his face. This made my breasts fully press his face and he didn’t mind it.

At the same time his hands which was pressing my butts over my nighty moved to my heels and moved inside. He was feeling all over my legs, thighs and then pressed my butts again. Only difference is his hands are now inside the nighty and he started fingering the cracks. I could not stand the sensation when his finger entered my asshole crack and stopped applying oil.

He asked what happened, I just moaned. He asked me to stand erect and me, who was leaning against his face, lifted myself and stood before him. Simply he removed the top buttons of my nighty and lifted the same from my toes over my head. In a matter of seconds I was standing naked in front of him. He started kneading my breasts and I was moaning.

And I was just name sake massaging his head and neck. As I told earlier, he was sitting in a stool with his leags apart and I was standing (now naked) within his legs. He now spread my legs and started moving one of hands over my cunt. He pressed my cunt with his whole hand and squeezed it.

Then without any warning he shoved two fingers inside my cunt and started fingering vigorously. I could not withstand the pleasure and pain together and was squirming. I started bending a little and kissed his mouth passionately and wildly. Its all wild and with animal passion. I was hissing and moaning and moving my hand frantically over his back,

he was expertly fingering my cunt with one hand and squeezing my breasts with the other hand. This wild fingering went for sometime and I had to remove his hand as I could no longer stand it. He made me kneel down in front of me. As an obedient slave I just kneeled in front of him. Mr breasts were heavy with the nipples protruding and I was dipping wet in the cunt.

Not sure whether I came or not but it was watery. I was in front of a six pack body with all its glory. Without any cue I started sucking his nipples one by one and was moving below. His hands are caressing my back and coming down till my asshole crack. I made his legs spread further apart and had a look at his thing inside his brief.

It was fully aroused and was a great sight. I just kissed it and started kneading the same with one hand. Then I put the other hand inside the brief and felt his manhood. All along I have been kneeling in front of him fully naked. I asked him to remove his trunks. He asked me to remove it. He just lifted his buttocks and I helped him to remove it.

He was sitting in the stool with his erect tool and I was kneeling in front of it like a hungry dog. Without wasting any time I took the whole thing inside my mouth and started licking it. I was sucking it like a lollipop with one hand holding it and my mouth sucking it. After few minutes I went below and started licking and eating his balls.

Then I again I took his shaft in my mouth and started sucking it. Like an expert bitch I used my tongue effectively in the pink part and sucked it thoroughly. He was also getting aroused and held my head tightly, then after sometime he started mouth fucking and moved his shaft fast within my mouth.

Again after some time I took my mouth out and started licking his balls, his sides, below the balls and upto his asshole. He put his hands in my hair, lifted my head violently and made me put his shaft inside my mouth. I was lapping it up like an ice-cream. Then he started shaking and I could sense he was about to come. I sucked vigorously and he exploded the cum in my mouth.

For the second time in the day I was eating the cum and I lapped it up. He was bit tired but was holding himself upright. I also took rest for few minutes and then started the oil massaging again. He also took some oil and started applying over my body. Now both us were naked and had oil all over. I hugged him tightly and he also reciprocated.

We were like intertwined snakes together. I was eating his mouth like a cake and exploring his mouth deeply. His shaft was aroused fully. Since both of were oily it became slippery when we lied down. He took a mat and spread it in the floor and made me lie there. Then from the top he entered my cunt lifting my back and started pushing his shaft inside me.

Then he lied down and made me sit on his erect prick. I was sitting on top of prick, his prick fully inside and was moving back and forth and was enjoying the sensations. My breasts were dangling and he stared kneading the same. He also made me bend and started sucking my nipples. Then I lifted myself and started sucking his shaft in the 69 position.

I was on his top with my mouth on his shaft and my cunt near his face. He made my cunt adjust to a position near his face and started licking it. Both of were sucking/licking each other private parts wildly. After sometime he again made me lie on my back and started putting his shaft inside me and pushed hard. This time after several thrusts he came fully inside my cunt.

Exhausted, he just lied me on my top. Then after sometime he lifted me in and took me to the attached bathroom. There was no bathtub but enough space for two persons to take bath. Since both of us were tired we just applied shampoos and soaps quickly and washed ourselves. I again wore the same nighty and moved to hall.

The time is around four and Ramesh has to go to the gym for the second shift. He dressed himself up, had a late lunch and then moved on. Before moving he didn’t forget giving a hard press on my boobs and a pinch on my cunt. (Humandigest,2009)

Well, its been a long time since i have posted anything in my blog. The reason is pretty simple, my blog turns me off ! No matter what theme i use, i never seem to be satisfied. It may be because i have a keen eye for design or it could be that wordpress tries its best to turn off its users that they are forced to pay to maintain a theme. So much for open source!

Every theme has its set of defects. If i like the header in one of them, it usually ends up having a narrow posting are that could fit in a sub lane.  If the spacing is good, the colour combination is a blasphemy!

Anyway, i resorted to calming myself by repeating the mantra “HOW MUCH CAN A PERSON GET FOR FREE ANYWAY!!” and guess what – it worked! For all those theme-sick work-for-free wordpress users out there, i suggest this medicine!

Ok, what are you doing?  Are you busy?  Are you comfy?  You’ll want to get comfy… and grab some snacks or a drink because, if I do this right, you could be here a while.

Before I lead us deep into the abyss, I must put up some collateral.  The following piece is a criticism of a band.  I have witnessed elsewhere on the web the kind of indignant fury criticising this band produces and will provide a link to it later, because that is part of the glory of what I’m about to write.  Right now though, I must lay out the names of artists/bands that I listen to and would defend as good music, because to criticise another person’s taste in music without exposing yourself is cowardice, and a coward I am not.

Some of the bands I like (listed alphabetically) and the year their most recent album was released (not including ‘best ofs’): Aquabats (2005), Beck (2008), Caesar’s Palace (2008), The Hives (2007), Queens of the Stone Age (2007), Soundgarden (1996), The Tallest Man On Earth (2008), Ween (2007).

These are not the only bands I like, but they are high on my rotation list and I own more then one of their albums.  Now, to battle!

A while ago I was exposed to an awful Australian band called “Short Stack”.  They were, and still are, a little pop-punk outfit (though they call themselves something else entirely) with the most ridiculous hair I have ever seen.  Now, ridiculous hair, on its own, is fine.  Everyone does silly things (such as write blogs for no good reason) and, in time, they learn the error of their ways and chuckle about it later.  So while Short Stack’s sense of fashion crossed the border into Retarded and did a little victory dance in its own excrement, I was not overly bothered by it.  Fashion was not their only problem however… but it was a pretty big part.  Checkit:

My first exposure to Short Stack was on some live “Top of the Pops” style show.  They serenaded me with an original track and then, after explaining why they chose to do it (they grew up listening to it), covered a song by Blink 182.  Now, Tom DeLonge never had the best voice in the world, but he could hold a tune.  These kids could not provide a tuneful rendition of a Blink 182 song.  This I could not abide by.  Also, if you watch that video (which is not the one I saw originally) you’ll notice that they have session musicians supporting the band… playing stuff that they can’t play.  While I’m sure the “We’ve never rehearsed this” was said tongue in cheek, the opening riff to Dammit is left to the session player.  Blink 182 could play the song as a three piece… what’s up?

So they had caught my attention.  I peered at them longer, searching for some sort of explanation as to why these Muppets were playing to an audience who were positively wetting themselves with the experience of being so close to the band.  It was sick.  My peering lead me to check out their instruments, as I usually would; it’s like window shopping.  These teens were ‘rocking out’ on Gibson gear.  Teenagers can’t afford Gibson gear.  Newly discovered, hot property bands can’t afford Gibson gear.  It all became so clear to me.

Now, before you dismiss this as some sort of conspiracy theory rant – it’s not.  It’s a theory, to be sure, but a well founded one.  The theory is this:

Short Stack are a record executive’s cynical music project.  They were created to prove that teenagers have absolutely no good sense whatsoever and will swallow any bullshit that they’re fed.

The evidence:

1. As I have mentioned (and you’ve seen), Short Stack’s hair is ridiculous, and so are their outfits.  Their appearance is so ridiculous that you’d have to have to be on Ketamine to not realise how awfully stupid they look.

2. Short Stack’s rise to popularity has been incredibly short.  The Wikipedia page about them explains that in (late) 2005 they couldn’t even pass the first round of a battle of the bands.  However, by 2008 they were the darlings of MySpace and YouTube.  If we were generous, and said that they had three years to gain popularity, that’d still be rushing it.  The fact is – these guys came from nowhere, and they came with Gibson gear.

3. A Gibson Les Paul costs upward of 3K and so will a Gibson Thunderbird.  Now, while living with your parents rent-free affords you the opportunity to save for those deluxe items.  I’m not buying that these lads had the desire to scrimp and save for the same brand instruments.

4. They have a legion of mostly female, early teens fans and they’ve been on the cover of TV Hits twice.

The whole thing stinks to high heaven if you ask me.

Now, I know that musical taste is highly subjective, but, we need to be honest here; Short Stack’s music isn’t even close to special.  There is absolutely nothing about Short Stack’s songs that makes you say “wow, that’s different.  It’s not even possible to say “they really took genre X and made it their own”.  Objectively Short Stack aren’t a decent band.  The only thing about them that really captures anyone’s attention is their look.  Underneath all that stupid hair and fucking idiotic make up are some slightly better than average looking boys… I just looked at a photo of theirs to inspire me to continue… I want to punch them in their stupid faces.

The Short Stack gimmick, as was aptly pointed out by my wife, is that they’ve taken the Eskimo Joe dress sense and amplified it into the ridiculous.  While Eskimo Joe play dress-ups slightly and look pseudo-arty, Eskimo Joe still have different styles to each other.  It is clear that ‘The Joe’ dress themselves and make their own poor decisions.  ‘The Stack’ dress exactly the same as each other.  Which is not to say they all wear boiler outfits, what I mean is, the ideas are exactly the same, and you get them impression that they’ve been dressed by the head of Sunday Morning Records (their label).

I should address that very quickly.  Sunday Morning Records is, apparently, an indie label.  According to Short Stack’s own biography, even though they played a terrible show in 2006, the label saw potential in them and signed them.  Some may argue that, because Short Stack are signed to an “indie” label, they can’t possibly be an engineered entity.  To this is say “bollocks”.  Independent labels are just as capable of seeing marketing potential as any large label and, if they want to make some money, they are just as capable of exploiting it.  Also, just quickly, I’ll say it before anyone else does: The Hives and another group I like called Devo (look them up kids) dress exactly alike.  Not just similar style, but exactly, like a uniform.  The two bands do it for different reasons, but unlike Short Stack isn’t that they are lackeys.  Short Stack are lackeys.  They dress how they dress because they are fools.

If you haven’t just eaten, you could read through their biography for a chuckle-and-heave.  I mean, aside from knowing that it is someone’s job to make them sound like they’re awesome, it really is full of shit.  It begins “2009 has been Short Stack’s year”, which I would beg to differ on.  While they may have done exceedingly well for such a mediocre product, a simple look at ARIA award nominations (Australian music industry awards) shows that it has not really been Short Stack’s year at all.  If it had, we might see them being listed as a nominee in “Highest selling Australian Single” or “Highest selling Australian album”.  “But, John”, you say, “that’s asking a bit much of a new band”.  Perhaps you’re right.  I guess I’ll have to check the nominees for “Breakthrough Artist – Album” or “Breakthrough Artist – Single”… hrrmm… no, not there either.  Apparently there are at least 5 artists in every category that the Australian music industry thinks is having a better 2009 than Short Stack.  A real kick in the guts is that Jessica Mauboy, an Australian Idol runner up, is considered more worthy of a Breakthrough Artist nomination (in both categories) than Short Stack.

To their credit, and my dismay, Short Stack’s album “Stack is the New Black” reached number one on the Australian charts.  I don’t know how long it stayed there, but I will point out that their highest selling single “Sway, Sway, Baby!” reached number 2 on the charts, but only lasted one week.  The next week it dropped 25 places.  Flash in the pan, anyone?  If the title of that single, or that album, caused you to choke on your Wheaties, please permit me to compromise your windpipe some more.  The titles of their other singles have been “Princess”, “Shimmy a Go Go” and “Ladies & Gentlemen”.  The last title isn’t so insipid, so I’ll subject you to its opening verse:

Ladies and gentlemen can I,
Say this story seems alive away from you
We’ll hope for love on hotel floors
And write a history for teens with dreamer’s truths

I’ll give you some of Princess too:

This incentive represents this dimly lit room just a minute in
my heart beat beat climbs in sync with captivate me as you shed your skin

Crave more?  Here’s Shimmy a Go Go:

Oh! Can I catch your eye tonight
(I’m so beside myself tonight; so beside myself tonight)
we could live forever
one line at a time
so let’s sway!

Let’s go all the way tonight!  Sway Sway Baby!:

Reach for the stars kid, I’ve been wondering,
Heaven’s not too far kid, we’ve been tumbling,
Down down baby, you’re so audio
But I’m a gentleman, I’m such a gentleman,
We keep in time kid, you’re so into it
But if you were mine kid, we’d be intimate
These razors ain’t your roses
But I’m a gentleman, (I’m such a gentleman)

Yessir, we’ve got a real progressive band here.  What I like about them is the way they’ve mixed singing about girls together with angst.  If you watch some of their video clips, you also get to see how fun-loving and quirky they are.  It’s super.  Even in their video clips you can tell that Lead Vocalist, Shaun Diviney, can’t sing.  I think autotune is one of the most abhorrent and over-used ‘techniques’ producers have these days, but by god do I wish they’d use it on him.  I don’t even think he’s trying.  I think he’s going for the “If I squeeze the song out through tensed vocal cords, it’ll sound emotional” attitude.  He does not carry off that style well.  But, maybe music isn’t at the front of their minds, maybe it’s more about their image?  Perhaps I should let the bands bio page speak to this –

“The final ingredient that’s ensured Short Stack has become Australia’s most exciting new band? Everything they do is delivered with a cheeky, don’t give a fuck attitude.”

Aren’t they just so damn audio!?  They’re so real.  I love how they’re just so gosh-darn good looking, fashionable, masters of the lyrical arts and rebels.  I bet whatever boy they end up dating is real special.

If you checkout their “Sway Sway Baby” video clip you’ll get to see just how zany these guys can be.  What I’ll also ask you to observe is the shots of the band on stage performing to screaming fans.  I have it from a reliable source that that crowd is comprised of their MySpace fans.  The word is that they put out a call on MySpace for fans to show up to appear in their video.  Apparently the line of adoring fans was massive; not everyone was going to fit.  It wasn’t first come first served, however.  Apparently for their blind allegiance to this atrocity, only the prettiest of girls were picked to be in the video clip.  How much of them can you see?  Well, let’s just say that I, for one, am glad I didn’t see any fat or ugly arms in that clip; it might have made me puke.

I’m going to wrap this up here.  In my next instalment I’m going to talk about the furore that someone’s “Tweet” about Short Stack’s poor performance on Rove created.  It’s truly epic.  I’ll leave you now with Short Stack’s plans for things to come:

“We want to give a large majority of Australia a chance to have seen us live by the end of 2010, so playing shows is going to take up a big portion of the year,” Bradie says. “If you haven’t seen us yet, you can expect loud, loud music, fun and most importantly, the band of the future.”

The future is indeed bleak.  Just be thankful that if they’re touring, they aren’t recording.

One last look at the tools

This is about the last of Simon’s Flickr collection in which he does some cross-dressing, anal sex with a banana, and cums on his own face.

Wondering where I’ve been? No? Well, I don’t care, I’ll tell ya anyway!

A little over a year ago my dad asked me to help re-design the website for the ski club he’s currently president of. I said yes, because I’m stupid and nice.

Long story short, it took a long time to get anywhere, but now we’re in the final stretch. I have completely re-done the site, added something like 8 new features and about 120 new pictures.

I should have this off my plate by the middle of December. Which, given the holidays, will mean a flood of new posts.

Until then, however, you can read the next post, as I revisit how lame my dating skills really are!

Still single and flaunting a membership to a ski club that I don’t even use!!!

Scott

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