I was talking to one of my girls the other day and she mentioned how she has given up on guys.  I guess you could say she’s tired of them being inconsistent.  There was this one guy she was talking to at the beginning of the summer; she would fly her down to where he was to visit, he would call, they would spend weekends together.  Let’s just say he was putting in work.  All of a sudden, at the end of the summer, he falls back.  He isn’t around as much & doesn’t call as often.  Now most of you would say, sounds like a summer fling. Summer is now over so let’s move on.  And I pretty much gave her the same advice, if he is no longer putting in the effort and you feel like you’re doing too much, time to let it go and move on.  But there is one problem she told me, the sex is LIFE CHANGING!!!!

Those are her words not mine lol.  And then I told her, it always comes down to the sex! I guess if it wasn’t life changing, she would’ve moved on by now and just forgot about the guy but oh no,  she “likes” him and it’s soooooo amazing.  Then I thought, it always comes down to the “male ego” (that’s what we’ll call it lol).  You can be the smartest woman in the world, but if he knows what he’s doing, you’ll walk around like a lost puppy looking for her owner, not knowing what to do with yourself; “do you move on” or wait around for him to come because you can’t let THAT go??  Someone how good judgment always gets thrown out the window!! SMH

But don’t get me wrong, it’s not just females that fall into the EGO trap.  Guys can get wiped too! What ever happened to mind over matter people?!?! Believe me, I’m sure it’s life changing, but is it worth the stress of not knowing if he/she will come around again; the more battles you have in the relationship than good times, etc?? I DON’T THINK SO!!! I know it’s a hard thing to do, but it’s ok to let things go and move on.  I’m sure there will be better egos down the road that bring the entire package: a great ego and has the desire to be with you because they are genuinely interested.  Let’s not fall for the ego trap; it seems to get us all too often!

It seems as though summer has officially ended…  Here in NYC the Fall weather is in FULL EFFECT!!!  And that means all hope for fun summer flings have blown away with the warm weather.  So, I thought to help you all snag a significant other for the holiday season, I’d share some flirtastic tips with you from Me & Love U.

A few weeks too far back I started contemplating writing a post calling for the return of the word “lover.”  I hate the way that such a sweet word has been ruined with connotations of adultery, quick meaningless sex, and sleazy romance novels – everything love (perhaps) shouldn’t be.  I wanted “lover” to go back to meaning “someone who loves you” no questions asked about what type of love, just someone who’s there and cares.  The details of the relationship need not matter.  My best friends may be my best lovers forever.

But now I am remembering there are some things that call for the word “lover,” as it stands right now.  There are times when a kiss means something other than love; times when it means freedom, or trust – in oneself or in the person you’re kissing; more familiar to our imaginations times when it means celebration, but yes their are certain moments of pleasure that can only happen between “lovers.”  Maybe “lovers” are those who share things that some part of your body – physical or mental – loves.

There are reasons why words evolve.  Any thoughts, lovers?

Summer is about to begin, and with the season, summer flings will come along too. Some of us have experienced this when we were teenagers. It was the parenthesis of our school year, the souvenir we would bring from our vacation. The object of our summer love was a local, or someone who spent his/her holidays in the same resort than us, and most of these relationships were meant to fail. But it can happen that these would pass the summer test. I guess it depends on a lot of factors.

When I ask around me what people hoped from their summer love, some of them tell me that they just go with the flow and just forget themselves during that short period. “It’s like my personality, who I am, is on holiday too. I try not to think about anything, not to worry about anything. And I know that if I find someone during this period, I would just let my emotions guide me, but I don’t attach myself to that relationship. It’s like I’m someone else. It’s magical. But I know it won’t last, because I have to go back to reality”  F., 24, said. “Oh, it’s a quick way to win back some self confidence. And I don’t care who I seduce, as long as he’s not mean. I don’t try to make it last two. Usually, if it happens at the end of the holidays, it’s better. I know that I have a few chances to break up because time is running out. So, it leaves me with two or three days where I just enjoy the other’s company. And then, it’s back to normal”M., 25, said.

Some people use the summer to test their power of seduction too. And they will try to score with the most eligible bachelor in the holiday resort, aka the hot waiter, lifesaver, or local playboy. But they will have competition. Sometimes, a lot of it. When the hottie yields to your advance, you feel empowered. But if you’re not, the pill can be difficult to swallow. This kind of relationship is meant to fail.

The relationship that can pass the summer test is based on a mutual recognition. I believe you can meet your significant other during the summer, during your holiday. If you realize you have a lot of common points, you are both available, attracted to each other, it can work. But we hardly act like ourselves during our holidays, so this can be pretty difficult.

So, do you think a summer fling can last?

It’s already June. This has been the hardest, most exhausting week of my life. I have had some little blessing doses intermittently but it has not been at all easy. I got to see Dave Matthews release his new CD in honor of Leroy at Beacons on Monday. This was an extraordinary show, however my emotional sentimentality definitely made appearances because of my grieving mindset. I couldn’t help thinking of my mourning sister during “Sister,” and of course “Funny the way it is,” was also a thud in my heart. DMB is not DMB for no reason though. Wow. The violinist and the drummer specifically struck me. I also think that the new saxophone player who joined them from Bela Fleck is amazing. It must be hard to take the place of someone who meant so much to every aspect of the DMB group.

It’s hard to be a caregiver to so many women grieving their father, brother, son, and husband. These Little Women are not in their right minds (understandably so) and each day the exhaustion was mounted higher and higher making me feel lower and lower. I really do get great satisfaction out of taking care of people but sometimes it’s hard. Like when I feel like people are using me to rag wash the floor of every room in every home in the world. Slight exaggeration perhaps, but seriously I feel like crap by now. I am happy for this intense grieving week to be over.

I am not really looking forward to a weekend of girls in the Hamptons; for some reason large groups of girls make me more apprehensive than most situations in the world, but I am looking forward to a weekend getaway.

I saw the house that Rosi and I will be living in this summer. It is epic, it is romantic, it is peaceful, and it is absolutely lovely. I hope it proves to be as wonderful as I know it can be. People might need to be involved to complete this equation, and I can only hope that the people I am thinking of show up and take their place.

Got a question for the Tuffster? Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and get that shiz answered!!!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

So I’m home from college for the summer and kind of lonely. I dated around this year at school but nothing serious like my high school boyfriend (let’s call him K). Anyway, K is home from school today and we’ve been hanging out but I know he wants to hook up and I think I do too. But I don’t want him to be my boyfriend when I go back to school. Should I hook up with him or not? I’m pretty sure I’m going to. Would that be screwed up?

Tricia

Dear Tricia,

So, like, this is a trick question because you’ve obviously already decided to hook up with him. Right? I mean, why are you gonna write to me and say you’re gonna do it then? Well, anyway, I think you should go for it, so I guess you’re in luck.

Here’re Tuffy’s thoughts:

You can hook up with anyone you want. Just don’t forget to use protection if any kind of sex (oral included, kids!) is gonna go down. But since you’re already emotionally involved with this guy (you DID date him in high school, after all), you’re gonna have to have a Talk.

Splain to him that you wanna hook up but he shouldn’t expect you to go back to how things were. You should also make it very clear that this is For-The-Summer-Only. Summer fling? Fun. Summer Fling That Turns Into Irritating Obligation: Not so much.

However, if you think you’re still going to be friends after all this, prognosis is bleak. Yeah, if you guys are both super well-adjusted AND both have exactly the same amount of no-feelings for each other, you might, just might, be fine. But chances are, history will repeat itself and one of you will have stronger feelings than the other. This happens to everyone, people. Very rarely do both people feel exactly the same way. Anyway, just so’s you know.

Basically, Tuffy sez go for it. But be aware of the probable consequences, okay? Plus, don’t underestimate male jealousy. That shiz just hits us time and time again.

And always use protection!!!

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

Sadie couldn’t remember how it ended. She remembered the why, but not the how. Sadie and Larry had been a summer fling; a brief, soaring adventure of shared tenderness and exploration. Learning about each other and finding ways to excite each other. All new and strange and feverish. But Sadie had always known it was not a forever, just a for the moment.

When it ended (and it had ended), she was already involved with another. She couldn’t recall how or why it had ended. Sadie wished she had the answers to that one, but she didn’t. They were long gone. What were once memories were now just traces of scattered thoughts, crumpled and dusty in the corners of her mind.

It had been decades since she last thought of either of them. All so long ago that the specifics no longer mattered, at least not to her. Had he not sought out her brother on FaceBook, these whispers of smoke would never have filled the room. She doubted she’d have been able to recall his name independently. But when he friended her brother, it was like a blinking neon sign to alert Sadie to Larry’s resurrection. She suspected it would hurt him to know that she had been thinking about the other; about Sean and all those memories they had created jointly.

Sean. Why had she been so willing to let him out of her life? So long ago, yet just like yesterday. He had saved her from solitude and isolation; back before her path was clear. Platonically, they had flourished. Urging each other on to greater heights and challenges. Together, they were balanced, yin and yang, in complement.

That summer. That long ago summer that changed everything and nothing. She had tried to break free, first with Jon. She had dreamed of Jon, with his musician’s hands and somnolent eyes. Jon had wanted more than she was able to give, so she settled for Larry. He had been Sadie’s second choice. The substitute. But it hadn’t worked. With Larry, she knew she could set the pace and the limits, something Jon had controlled before. She felt safe, but she wanted more than safe. She wanted the dynamite of Jon with the safety of Larry. Most of all, she wanted the harmony of Sean.

One night, so long ago that the memory was like a sparkler fleeting throwing light on a dark summer’s night, Sadie and Sean had transcended their yin and yang. That night everything changed in a heartbeat, in a great bonfire of passion. It felt so right that there could be no other choice. That was the why. But the how remained lost in the fog of time.

FaceBook had Sadie thinking about her past. As she sifted through the photographs of her youth, memories bubbled forth. Long forgotten moments mixed with newly experienced events. The gap between now and then seemed smaller than ever before.

Sadie had ignored Larry’s reemergence. She had no real interest in replaying the past, at least not with him. Yet Larry continued to appear in strange ways, making repression impossible. She came across a photo that stunned her. There stood Sadie, Larry, Sean, and Jon at the end of that distant summer. Smiling, interacting, all except Sadie unaware of the layers. In that row, the drama of her youth lined up. All those various shadings and degrees of choices that could only became clear by closing the door tightly.

How she wished she could replay that summer. Yet deep in her heart, she knew the resolution would remain the same.

By: Lauren J. Walter, December 20, 2008

Wednesday Quick Moment … good afternoon ladies!! Just wanted to throw this layout up really quick before I head off for the shower, dinner and then soccer!! Lacey is playing tonight … Danielle played last night … kicked butt again I will be back after soccer with some more news! Nothing major … just feeling the need to be a little chattier than usual today! The Summer Fling event at Oscraps has been rocking along quite nicely this week … thanks the fabulous CHEERYO’S!! THANK YOU ladies!! And I have been hosting a nightly chat … usually around 10pm EST.  Instead of lifting we have been doing layouts with a particular quote!! Last night’s quote was :

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort,
but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Here is my layout!!

Credits:
Everything from:
Loopty Loop by Taylor Made Designs
except for
Mailing Label Frames : by TaylorMade Designs & Paislee Press Designs
all sold at www.oscrap.com

The Oscraps shop will be down temporarily for scheduled maintenance beginning Monday, July 28th, 2008…and is scheduled to reopen on Friday, August 1, 2008. (the forums and gallery will remain open during this time though). So the CheeryO’s have an event planned for you …

LOTS OF FUN, all week long!!

Here is the first challenge!! And on that note I’m off to bed!! Love you all sooooooooooo much!

Saturday’s Moment …ohhhh what a night we had last night .. Lots of laughter – good conversation and terrible singing!! LOL!! Someone thought it would be a great idea to bring the Karaoke machine to the bonfire. Can you conjure up the mental image of a bonfire, male soccer players, numerous coolers of cold beer (or in Peter’s case TallBoy cans of Cider and Smirnoff Ice) and a Karaoke machine?? Let me tell you it was an interesting evening. Peter sang a Bob Marley tune … lol …. I don’t think I have laughed so hard in a VERY VERY long time.

I worked today from 8am – 2pm … and sweat my butt off … gah!! But it was an ok day!! Now I’m just hanging out on the computer and working on some layouts!! THERAPY!! AHHHH!!! Oscraps is getting ready to have a Summer Fling next week while the shop is closed for the server move … be sure to come by and check out all the fun!! There will be lots of PRIZES and FREEBIES!!

 Thank you to WendyW … our official CheeryO Ad Maker for making the following ad for the event!!

The Simple Summer Fling Day 5 – I have two windows in my office with deep sills and they end up accumulating stuff.  While I started cleaning the first one off I ended up thinking that the curtains seriously needed washed, but I can’t wash just one curtain in the room -  bad habit of mine –  getting side  tracked into bigger projects than I started with.  So I took all the curtains down and tossed them in the washer.  This made my window a two day project… yeah me (eye roll).

here is the result so far.

before

after one day

Summer. What a delicious season. From the fruit to the fruity cocktails, everything seems so much fresher in the warm summer sun (well, everything besides our under-arms). Everything seems so much easier (besides the monthly bikini waxes). Everything is just so much…better (except the condition of our intensive-care inducing sunburns).We love the summer; really, we do. But, just like the killer hangover that comes after an awesome night of Sake Bombing, summer does have some downsides. Our writers weigh in on their least favorite parts of the season:

Sarah – NYU: Being drenched with sweat before I even leave my apartment in the morning. Gross.

Stacy Kidd: The weather; it just loves to pour buckets on me when the forecaster predicts sun, and conversely make me sweat buckets when rain is expected. Fantastic.

Diana Vilibert: Cute summer dresses that end in discomfort, thanks to inner-thigh chafing. (What, just me?)

Kate Bean: Sweating in my knee pit…or wait… is it “leg pit”?

Conan – Columbia College: Sand in the suit.

K – NYU: Pedicure upkeep on the bi-weekly, which takes money straight from my summer drinks fund. It’s a necessary evil; no one likes dirtball feet during flip-flop season.

Britt – Northern Virginia Community College: The pressure to be a certain size for bathing suit season.

Erica – Kent State: The fact that straightening my hair does NOT work – or if it does, it’s completely worthless because in ten minutes, my hair is a frizz ball again.

Mollie – University of Wisconsin-Madison: My electric bill.

Noa – UC Boulder: Living at home. With my parents.

Victoia Witchey: Men thinking that summertime gives them free reign to act like jackasses as they lean out the car window to hoot and holler at every female in a skirt.

EG- UW-Madison: Moving forward when the summer fling leaves town. It is not as romantic as Grease makes it look.

Elizabeth – Baruch College: Disgusting water from A.C.s in NYC dripping on my head and having to wear 60 proof sun block (PASTE) so I don’t turn red.

A.G.D. – Emerson College: Makeup melting down my face.

Kari – Florida State: Humidified hair. I single handedly keep Frederic Fekkai in business via Fekkai Glossing spray.

Suzie McCarthy – George Washington University: Damp armpits marks– ewwww!

Sara – NYU: Observing mass muffin-top.

Jessica – FSU: The intense, miserable Florida humidity and the fact very time you walk outside, it’s like being dipped in a vat of lukewarm sweat. Only not as pleasant.

Olua: Hands down, my least favorite thing about summer is how you really don’t appreciate it until you see the leaves starting to turn. You go from lying around inside cuz it’s too hot to do anything to wishing you had the free time to lie around inside. It sucks.

Chelsea – Musician’s Institute: My forehead peeling and looking like I have some exciting new skin disease. Awesome.

Lyndsey – U of M: Anything not good about summer is cancelled out by the inherent awesomeness of the season. Summer is perfection.

What about you? Got any summer peeves?

lexx bringt uns den sommer! funky und entspannt kommt sein mix für permanent vacation daher und lässt uns an seiner sommer liebelei teilnehmen. als kawabata produziert er unter anderem für das smarte drumpoet label, dass zurzeit in aller ohren steckt. und wenn man sich seinen mix anhört, dann versteht man vielleicht besser, worauf sich die zurzeit allgegenwärtige “new definition of house music” bezieht. zitieren nennt man das…

mir gefällt’s und ich fühle mich dabei 20 jahre jünger. und das kann ich jetzt grad etwas gebrauchen. denn gestern war ich kurz im “der klub” an der langstrasse. das ist im “das haus” unter “die bar” gelegen und diagonal versetzt vom “der laden”. claude, “der geschäftsführer” meinte, es sei dies genau mein klub. denn die anvisierte zielgruppe sei von 30 bis 50 jahren!(!!!)

es ist schon hart, sowas zu hören. erschreckend auch, weil mir “der klub” vom ambiente her doch noch irgendwie gefallen hat. es hat was von einem alt-herren smokersclub meets jazzkeller. das die lounge “ecke” von der quadratmeter-anzahl her mindestens 8 mal grösser ist als die tanzfläche, lässt für mein bevorstehendes alter schlimmes befürchten. ich seh mich schon in der altenglischen couch lümmeln, den charas in einer ausgehöhlten cohiba schmauchend (auch den betagten senioren wird wohl das offensichtliche kiffen in den clubs untersagt werden…), und sabbernd den jungen gazellen nachschauend. hmm, eigentlich mache ich ja jetzt schon dasselbe…

aber, sabbern? ich muss nächstes mal unbedingt einen kleinen taschenspiegel zur kontrolle mitnehmen…

download: summer fling by lexx
(left klick = hear – right klick = download)
lexx – kawabata on myspace..
webpage lexx
drumpet community on myspace..
webpage permanent vacation

fragen und antworten: lexx – kawabata

- wer bist du?
lexx, 36 jahre alt, dj, musiker und leidenschaftler, wohne in zürich.

- wann und wieso bist du mit elektronischer musik in kontakt gekommen?
c.a. 1983 hörte ich zum ersten mal depeche mode, ein bischen später zeigte mir ein damaliger freund “computer welt” von kraftwerk.

- deine definition von house?
house is a feeling, disco ist die mutter und funk der vater.. oder so ähnlich

- wann hörst du am liebsten ruhige musik?
oft, und immer wenn mir danach ist.

und paco, halte uns doch bitte auf dem laufenden was mit dem fräulein an der kasse läuft ..hehe

After getting horrible side tracked the last week.  I am starting my Simple Summer Fling: One small step at a time.  It offically begins on Monday,  June 23rd.

The goal to reorganize 30 small areas of my house over the next 6 weeks.

The important points:

One – This is summer I don’t want to get bogged down reorganizing the entire kitchen in one day.

Small– one shelf, one drawer, half a closet, the top of the entertainment center.  Something that can be tackled and done in less than half an hour.

Consistant — A little each day will go a long way.

Thoughtful — I want to be sure to assess what the area’s problem is before I take it on.

Accountability – Yes, I am going to be posting before and after shots for this one.

That is it.  As with the trash-bag challenge feel free to adapt this to your own situation and if you want to join in send me a link to your blog or leave a comment here.

“Prince Charming” continues to say stupid sh*t

Plus size summer fashion, baby!

Um, don’t eat the tomatoes

Wicked famous sports stars going broke? They’re not stupid, they’re just too trusting

Jessica Simpson gets inpsired by her own boobs

Is your summer fling already dead in the water?

I’ve figured it out. Puff Daddy wants to be Sybile. You know, the woman who had 13 personalities?

Know your in season fruit, mamas!

You might be dating a criminal if: you’re Anne Hathaway

[photo of R. Everett from abc.net]