Yaa Allah…

Hatiku sedang tidak tenang…semua rasanya begitu menusuk dan membuatku merasa sesak… Aku ingin bahagia juga saat orang lain menerima kebahagiaan…tapi untuk satu hal itu…aku masih harus berusaha keras…aku bisa ikut bahagia…hanya saja saat harus mengungkapkannya dengan kata-kata…ada rasa bergejolak yang sangat hebat yang ingin kuabaikan dan tidak ingin kudefinisikan perasaan seperti apa itu…karena aku ingin selalu bersyukur…karena aku tidak mau jadi orang yang merugi!

Rasanya aku begitu lemah…

Astaghfirullahhal ‘adzim…

Aku tau…semua yang terjadi padaku adalah tantanganMU yang sedang melatihku agar membuat keimananku bisa naik kelas di sekolah kehidupan ini…

Aku yakin bisa segera survive dan terus survive…walau setiap saat rasanya masih jatuh bangun…Tapi aku selalu bangkit yaa Allah…karena aku ingin selalu dekat denganMU…dan aku tau Engkau sangat menyayangiku…

Aku percaya bahwa aku kuat…aku tangguh…dan aku EXTRAORDINARY! My adjustment ability is OUTSTANDING! Karena Engkau selalu bersamaku…

Subhanallah…wal hamdulillah…wa laa ilaa ha illallah…allaahu akbar…

Image : http://www.flickr.com

Now I know many of you have been burned badly by your ex-spouse. You are so furious at the mere mention of this person evokes every fantasy imaginable, negative cycle that comes to mind. You know there will never come the day that the two of you can be in the same room, and you swore never to utter a single civil word to that person again.

The purpose of this article is not to try to convince you to change your mind about all this (althoughThere are considerable advantages to establish later. But perhaps that is a subject for a story quite different.)

Instead, it is my hope to present a totally different perspective to help you overcome this tumultuous place in your life.

Let's face it, gripping fantasy cycle of vengeance keeps you mired in an ugly place negative. Your stomach is in knots. Your face is tense and your mind is racing and overcrowded. No wonder it's impossible for you to do many thingsconstructive for yourself. Let me go on record that I am very sympathetic and understanding of your situation. In, fact, I'll listen carefully and hold your hand with a lot of patience (at least for a reasonable period of time.)

Now, let's be clear. There is a perverse pleasure in holding your pain indignant, feel entitled to be the injured party. To let go can be let go as your favorite pair of jeans. The outrage is that part of you that you almost feelnaked without it.

But ultimately he must define when you finally say: "I am ready to let me go!"

And it is! You can use your discomfort you engage in action. And, you can use this energy constructively for you Go to speed and make the kind of changes you've never spoken to, but not acting on!

* What I ask of you is to imagine the kind of life you can imagine yourself. What would it looklike? How would it feel? Is it really out of your reach?

* Allow yourself the luxury of exquisite expression on your face whenever you accomplish your goals. Will be remorseful, anxious or angry? Fantasize that they want to go back. Delight them say it's too late! They blew it.

* When you feel fully satisfied to enjoy the superiority of the raw power to reject a change, enjoy it, and then: Let It Go!

Because at the end of the dayThis is not about them. They talk about you! You and your abilities. It is important to begin a life that focuses on the definition of self. Anyone who has even an iota of thought about this other person. So you're finally on the road to building an extraordinary life for yourself in the future.

* Enlist the support of a trusted friend or coach, and put into words the changes you'd like to see happen.

* Ask the person to help you remain responsible for theseobjectives.

* More importantly, make a promise that you will stay committed to your aspirations.

None of these answers is easy. In fact, it takes a lot of courage, perseverance, and perhaps a little luck to make the kind of change in your life as we speak. But the potential rewards are enormous.

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I was telling my sister recently to just keep going.  She was sharing with me how she’s having a hard time landing a job and was ready to quit.

I had my share of those moments when things seem to not favors me no matter how hard I try.  Many times I kind of given up too.  Other times,  I just had kept on.. something  made me go on and I did.  And looking back, those were the times when I kept going that I was able to reap rewards.

I started reading Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich free ebook and I got pass the Three Feet From Gold story that reminded me of an experience about a wild trip to Baguio.

It was  ”…three feet from where the Darbys had stopped drilling that the gold is found.” by the ‘Junk’ man to whom Mr. Darby sold his machinery for mining ore for a few hundred dollars .

Indeed, one of life’s irony is just when we feel so defeated and about to give up on something that the answer shows up all of a sudden.  And we later realize the lesson.

The Baguio Wild Trip

It was a chapter in my life when I decided to start over.  I talked my  friend Leo into accompanying me and since he’s never been to Baguio he was delighted. Not to mention that it’ll be an all-expense paid  for him which I shouldered. He was kind of broke at that time.  I didn’t have much either.  But it was the way to go for me.

Another buddy named Joey went along.  So it was three of us.  I told them my plan which is to look for a job and stay for good.  I kind of gave myself a one-week target to get settled.  It was a do-or-die situation.

We got very limited money and no definite place to go in an unfamiliar place. It was crazy.. and perfect.  Amidst the uncertainty is the incomparable freedom of a dare-devil adventure.

We got there late in the afternoon and set out to our first task of finding a place to stay for the night.  The boarding house hunting started the next day.

Our first stop at Joey’s church friend in Crystal Cave did not go well.  I remember how some of the house structures there with base posts on slopes kind of given me a scare and wonderment at the same time.  I was used to seeing and inhabiting level ground houses.

Come dark we were exhausted and so beat, we settled with the second immediate option we got.  They slept over at one of the church centers, I in one of the several market stalls owned by another of Joey’s church friends, walking distance from them, which I remember to be nearby the airport.

It was frightening for me to be separated from them on that first night in a cold place and to be sleeping at someone’s stall that has wood strips for a door.  I scolded them in the morning for making me sleep there alone.

We grab some quick food along the way as we search for a boarding house.  It started out exciting as we explore the roads and sites of Baguio until after several failed inquiries for a prospect pad.  The thought of sleeping again in that stall made me cringe, we have to find a house to crash in tonight, I told myself.

So, after several more road blocks covered and seen houses, still no success. It’s either beyond our budget, not so cool for our tastes (but we’re not that choosy alright.. ), no vacancy, or the owner or landlord simply doesn’t want to take us in.. maybe for some ethical reasons.

Imagine a girl with two bisexual-looking guys with baggages and a sleeping bag, who looks like stowaways without much, looking for a place to stay.  Hmmp.. maybe I would think twice too if I were in their shoes.

By late afternoon we were tired and desperate.  The guys were deciding to call it a day.  I feel them but wasn’t gonna give up yet and so beg for one more house.

We trudged wearily up the hill as the sun was setting down and knocked on one more door.  Finally, a sense of hope.. the owners seemed accommodating and empathic of our situation.  We know we’re not that appealing group of boarders.. we told them our story, of me staying for good…  They probably took pity and admitted us that night.  What a relief. Whew!

And thank goodness we decided to check one more house.

The days that followed were mixed feelings of ecstasy being in ‘paradise’ and the stress of job-hunt and getting by each day with mainly instant noodles or canned sardines, rice and bread.  It was a humbling and empowering experience all at the same time.  We had to call long-distance for some money support from close sources to survive that week. We weren’t let down.

Before the week ended, I scored a job as a graphic designer for a mall with a very minimal pay compared to my last in Manila.  I was culture-shocked.  Anyway, that will do for now I thought.  One day at a time.

On the seventh day, I move in to a new room-for-rent just a stone’s throw away from work.  We were evicted from the first boarding house by this time.

It was the last day of our adventure together, as planned.  So that same day Leo and Joey bid me goodbye and good luck as I escorted them to the bus terminal.

I welcomed my new life in ‘paradise’ and the new work the next day with a smile.  The end.

There hasn’t been any “copying and pasting of news” this week – it’s been a busy one with a lot of deadlines. It’ll return come Monday. I also went to the launch on Baker Street last night of Trading Places, a new book by award-winning photographer and all-round good chap Steve Bloom. Also my dad. So that’s why posts have been scant: but it’s Friday, so I thought I’d cheer you all up with a few tips on how to survive the Christmas do…

The Christmas party: that perfect time to let your hair down and throw your reputation to the winds. What other time of year can you mock your boss, flirt with your co-workers and dance in your knickers, all at once?

But as legions of office drones know, that opportunity comes with a priceless hangover.

A good story was told by Adam, of High Street, Cardiff city centre. Things went wrong at his old job when fire fighters got more than they bargained for in a call-out.

Adam said: “My old work, a now-defunct bank, had a Christmas party in the office in 2003. There was a buffet, an awards ceremony for the year’s work, and karaoke machine, with added smoke machine.

“So the party was in full swing, people singing, people dancing and the smoke machine smoking. After about two hours of this, some men dressed in fireman outfits arrived at the office. Some of the female staff – including managers – assumed these were strippers.

“They started, well, gyrating around the men, trying to take off their ‘outfits’. The thing is though, they were actual firemen: the smoke machine had set the alarms off.

“Not surprisingly, that was the last Christmas party we were given in that office.”

So how does the humble worker bee prevent getting into pickles like these? Here are some ideas. Which type are you?

FOR THE NEW GUY

You have got to be extra-careful. For you have just entered a parallel world, in which your every move will be scrutinised to fit with the ‘banter’ of man-all-man employees who’ve been spending longer with each other than their wives for several decades.

So if you’ve been waiting for that perfect time to share your secret love of musicals, discuss French theatre, come out as gay or, worse, as a vegan, your first Christmas party isn’t it.

And beware, because it will seem like a good idea when you’re nine pints down and standing on the table without trousers or dignity.

Instead the best policy is cower in the corner, if possible with other trainees, and talk about ludicrously safe subjects.

Think along the lines of cars, ties (not shoes), bitter (not lager) and possibly politics, but make sure you tow the standard line: “Just how bad is that Gordon Brown?” Or you could stick to the ergonomic management keyboard:

FOR THE NEW GIRL

You’re over here. The punch is over there. In the middle is overweight Gwyn from accounts who always puts himself deliberately between you and the photocopier so you have to squeeze past.

This should be as good a hint as any not to drink anything. You’re young, fresh-faced, intelligent and unknown to you most people in the office are competing to be you, or worse, especially in Gwyn’s case.

So if they get you drunk, you’ll slowly turn into them: following the downward course until spring, when someone even younger and prettier comes in and sure enough, you want to be her.

Or, worse, you’ll canoodle in the corner with lovestruck Gwyn who, come 2010, will make sure he’s not only blocking the photocopier, but also the vending machine, water cooler and door.

But you’ve not got the same option as the New Guy. You can’t lurk in the corner with the fairer sex and a G&T, because unlike office guys, who mumble into their pints and keep eyes on ties, office girls will make sure they’re heard.

So it’s a no-go, especially if they have any gossip on Gwyn. The best bet is to flirt briefly with everything in the room – and walk away with your head held high.

FOR THE SAD HACK IN THE CORNER

You’re the only person older than the boss, so to rub in the fact you didn’t succeed even more you’ll be asked to toast him/her. If you’re sober, this will be an excellent exercise in brown-nosing. If you’re not, it’ll be an exercise in damage limitation.

You will be inclined to make a cruel joke. Do not bend to this temptation. It will probably come out wrong, meaning after 26 years of the same old story at the office do, you’ll be repeating yourself again in the new year. Someone else will get that promotion, and you’ll be stuck counting down the days on your free calendar to the next party.

You’ll also be inclined to do your famous boss-impression. Unfortunately, its fame is probably due to an in-joke among your younger colleagues, and isn’t actually funny. Plus, impressions at office dos are seldom better than that dance Ricky Gervais did in The Office. Often, they’re worse.

So don’t do it. And especially, please, don’t try and impersonate Ricky Gervais. Just no.

FOR THE BOSS

Finally, if you’re the boss and you’ve not been told about the office party, it could be a surprise do for you.

Be prepared to walk through that door after ‘urgent business’ calls you in to be greeted with party poppers and bubbly by the whole staff. By the time they’ve finished stroking your ego you won’t be able to get your head through the door.

But it more likely means you’ve not been invited.

So a word of caution: have a good think about how well-liked you are. Do you bend, bad breath and all, over the hunched shoulders of your well-meaning employees and whine you-could-probably-do-this advice in their ears?

Do you give motivational speeches standing on tables where you use star-charts and words like “self-fulfilment”? Do you keep everyone on past 5.30pm in the name of “building a community spirit”?

If any of these things apply to you, you are probably one of those Hated Bosses you’ve heard so much about. Your best bet would be to stay at home with your kids. They’re too young to realise how irritating you are yet.

Much of Tokyo is covered in concrete and pavement. In the photo above, a low traffic small street has impermeable pavement. There is a wide, unnecessary brick sidewalk in the foreground built to accompany a recent apartment building. Two private residences also have concrete car-parks and cement surrounds. If you look very closely, to the left of the red traffic cone, a canna flower is breaking through the concrete and blooming.

Up close, the flower is brilliant on a sunny November day. Even more remarkable is that the plant has somehow managed to break through the pavement. How did it get there? How does it survive the city’s relentless drive to bury every grain of soil? Do the neighbors appreciate this floral beauty and the power of nature over the built environment?

After the jump, a closer view of the plant in its context.

In the context of such poor urban design ,this brilliant canna flower breaking through provides some hope that nature will regenerate despite our best efforts to displace it.

The Ultimate Networking Event & Holiday Party

Benefiting Toys for Tots

Tuesday December 1st, 6:30-9 PM

Join us! Come Mix and Mingle In Holiday Style at The Ultimate Networking Event show off your holiday spirit, make, a child’s holiday special and receive a special recognition from the US Marine Corpby bringing a new unwrapped toy or monetary donation for Toys for Tots.

The Ultimate Networking Event Here’s where you’ll meet CEO’s, Business Leaders and Decision makers from a variety of leading companies. You will learn and have opportunities to grow your business from some of the area’s top business networking professional’s.

Real world networking is essential for you to build andcreate relationships. Having the skills to network effectively in today’s challenging business climate, is critical and could make the difference between thriving or losing to your competitors .

Here’s What’s Included

• Admission to The Ultimate Networking Event
• Free First Drink
• Opportunity to Meet and Mingle with the Top Decision Makers in
• Philadelphia Business and Create Lasting Friendly Business Relationships
• Drawing for Fabulous Gift Certificates and Door Prizes

All this for only $20 in advance or $25 at the door

http://theultimatenetworkingeventdec.eventbrite.com/

Holiday “TO DO” List
Rather than just “survive” this holiday season, may you “thrive” throughout it.  There will be, no doubt, a few stressors that blow in with the holiday cheer, but with all that you have learned during your Genesis Transformation process, you are well equipped to handle any challenges that may arise.  Below is a list of a few things “to do” this season that just may help you feel a little more sure-footed about stepping into the season.
•     DO take the time to recognize all that you have accomplished over the past year and hold firm to your commitment to the new lifestyle that you have adopted.  You have been working hard all year to instill new, healthier habits into your life – don’t toss them in light of a few holiday parties or family gatherings.

•    DO have some inspirational literature on hand to assist you in your “less than inspired” moments or before you walk into any situation that may tempt you to stray from your new found path.   The support forum is a great outlet for sharing frustrations and successes during the season.

•    DO manage holiday stressors with your favorite activities and workouts.

•    DO get creative with your family recipes.  Cooking cleanly is no reason not to enjoy prepping holiday meals.   Get your family involved, so they can learn by “doing”.

•    DO be prepared with a healthy dish that you can enjoy when attending social gatherings or be sure to eat a clean meal before you arrive.   No plan is a plan to fail.

•    DO give yourself a permission or two to enjoy a small serving of something you really enjoy that may not be on the top of the “clean eating list”, but set boundaries for yourself and stick to them!

•    DO be an inspiration to your family and friends by walking the talk.  Undoubtedly many of them have heard about your Genesis process, so now is the perfect time to show them what living this lifestyle actually means!

•    DO treat yourself with respect and love this season, which is really what Genesis is all about.  You SO deserve it!

NEWS
My cousin Harindranathan never reads newspapers.
He never sees TV, nor hear radio.

The purpose of terrorists is to spread panic. If no one will hear about their exploits, they will lose interest in terror.
When we go to live in forest cottages, provided by Tourism department, we too forget this familiar world of politics and intrigues, scams and terror, flash news, breaking news and endless advertisements, all meant to keep our blood pressure at the required level, to induce all kinds of ailments; as otherwise, Capitalism cannot survive.
If I am the DITATOR OF ALL THE WORLD, total news black out will be enforced, just to enjoy a glorious sun set!

Indonesian transportation officials say at least nine people were killed and more than 230 were rescued Sunday after a ferry sank in rough waters near Sumatra island… From VOA. Full story

This site may contain information about: sea temp. For a different topic see soup recipes. The blog is also related to: sea water temperatures.

Indonesian police say a ferry carrying at least 213 passengers has sunk in rough waters near Sumatra island, killing at least one person… From VOA. Full story

This site may contain information about: water depth. The blog is also related to: southern ocean.

If you think of life as like a big pie, you can try to hold the whole pie and kill yourself trying to keep it, or you can slice

it up and give some to the people around you, and you still have plenty left for yourself.

Money is like manure; it’s not worth a thing unless it’s spread around encouraging young things to grow.My name is Zoë and I am seventeen. I live in New York but I have the undying need to get out there and help change this world! I will be going to Romania for a month or two (Depending on how much money I have..!) to care for orphans.

The orphan problem in Romania is rampant. Orphanages are very understaffed, and that’s where volunteers come in!

Oftentimes an orphanage is just a building filled with hundreds of babies and children, who are forced to lie in cots all day and night because nobody is there to care for them. Please help me make a huge difference in their lives by bringing them the love and care they need to survive.

This is the exact program I will be doing, if you’d like more information.

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

CLICK HERE TO HELP ME!

…Any little thing helps! I will send a personal thank you to everyone who helps and will keep you updated on my trip using this blog.When I will be leaving, what I’m doing while I’m there, pictures of my adventures and of the children and friends I make there, etc.

Thank you all!

An organization will not begin the transformation until it is aware that the quality of the product or service must be improved. Awareness comes about when an organization loses market share or realizes that quality and productivity go hand in hand. It also occurs if TQM is mandated by the customer or if management realizes that TQM is a better way to run business and compete in domestic and world markets.

Automation or other productivity enhancements might not help a corporation if it is unable to market its product or service because the quality is poor. The Japanese learned this fact from practical experience. They could sell their products only at ridiculously low prices, and even then it was difficult to secure repeat sales. Until recently, corporations have not recognized the importance of quality. However, a new attitude has emerged—quality first among the equals of cost and service—the customer wants value.

Quality and productivity are not mutually exclusive. Improvements in quality can lead directly to increased productivity and other benefits. The improved quality results in improvement in productivity, capacity, and profit. Many quality improvement projects are achieved with the same workforce, same overhead, and no investment in new equipment.

More and more corporations are recognizing the importance and necessity of quality improvement if they are to survive domestic and world-wide competition. Quality improvement is not limited to the conformance of the product or service to specifications; it also involves the inherent quality in the design of the system. The prevention of the product, service, and process problems is a more desirable objective than taking corrective action after the product is manufactured or a service rendered.

TQM does not occur overnight; there are no quick remedies. It takes a long time to build the appropriate emphasis and techniques into the culture. Over-emphasis on short term results and profits must be set aside so long-term planning and constancy of purpose will prevail.

My Consultancy–Asif J. Mir - Management Consultant–transforms organizations where people have the freedom to be creative, a place that brings out the best in everybody–an open, fair place where people have a sense that what they do matters. For details please visit www.asifjmir.com, and my Lectures.

Great companies are extremely market-oriented and are incredible at creating value to their highly satisfied, loyal customers. Greatness in marketing and customer service is a function of attitude, not resources. Most companies do not do a very good job as marketers. Consider when you have been put on hold endlessly when calling for technical support, when you have been ignored or treated indifferently when visiting a retail site, or when you have been supplied inferior goods or services. While second-rate firms may survive in the short term, they will not last in the long run unless they change their philosophy and start creating superior value for their customers.

My Consultancy–Asif J. Mir - Management Consultant–transforms organizations where people have the freedom to be creative, a place that brings out the best in everybody–an open, fair place where people have a sense that what they do matters. For details please visit www.asifjmir.com, and my Lectures.

A ton of people have written me about Fallout 3, which is a post-apocalyptic-mutant-shoot’em-up-role-playing-survival game. The premise is the world has been nuked to all hell and people have survived by living in vaults. Your character was born in the vault and soon enough you leave and discover an apocalyptic wasteland full of crazy humans, mutants, guns and junk. “Sounds interesting.” I’d say, “but I’m no gamer, I know I’d just get addicted to something like that.”  Well last week I tried it out and nobody has seen me for three days.

I’m not going to review this game, and I’m certainly not going to suggest that this game will prepare you for the apocalypse. Nothing could prepare you for that, but overall the game does a good job of showing just what a wasteland the earth could become. It’s full of trash, abandoned buildings, slave traders and sickos. It’s also good because even though it’s a violent game, but more time in the game is spent sifting through old soup cans for food  than shooting anyone.

 It also brings up the issue of what you will do to survive. Will you eat radioactive easy-mac? Will you kill for supplies? Will you drink from a toilet? Will you drink the blood of a mole-rat, or better yet another human? These are everyday options in the game, and will be after the apocalypse. 

So before I get any more of you nerds excited by talking about role-playing games, I’m going to end this by saying, HOW THE HELL DO I GET PAST THE SLAVERS!

Guns ‘n Gardens – How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse is the number one web show for DIY tips and tricks for living through the tough times. Each episode we’ll explore the in’s and out’s of the wasteland, including the best weapons, first aid and food production techniques that will help you and yours see another day. Survive.  Stay alive.   With Guns ‘n Gardens.

De nuevo vuelvo tras un tiempo de silencio con otra entrega más de versiones de canciones, esta vez dedicada a canciones que tratan temas LGTB o bien que son puros hinmos de esta comunidad. Aqui traigo unas cuantas de esas canciones conocidas por todo el mundo creo yo, pero con un trasfondo y significado especial para esta comunidad.

¿A quién le importa? (Alaska y Dinarama)

Esta canción es la mas conocida de la cantante Alaska y es uno de los himnos mas reconocidos de las comunidades gays de hispanoamérica y es que su letra es todo un grito de rebelión y libertad : ” ¿A quién le importa lo que yo haga? ¿A quién le importa lo que yo diga? Yo soy así y así seguire nunca cambiare” Fue versionada hace unos años por la cantante Thalia, que le dio un toque más electrónico y más moderno, aunque en lo personal sigo prefiriendo la de Alaska.

Original:

Versión:

All the Things She Said (TATU)

Las rusas TATU, tubieron su epoca dorada hace unos años gracias a que vendieron su imagen de lesbianas, que más tarde se desmintió, lo que hizo que su carreta se tambaleara. Aún asi sus canciones perviven en la memoria de muchos  y a pesar de todo la farsa que las rodeó, no se puede desmentir que lo que dicen muchas de sus canciones son situaciones muy reales.  Buscando en la red encontré una versión muy curiosa (y graciosa) que se hizo de esta canción interpretada por Deborah Ombres, para su programa de la MTv.

Original:

Versión:

You Spin me Round (Dead or Alive)

Canción versionada en multiples ocasiones, que es conocida en estos tiempos por un cover del rapero Flo-rida que le ha dado un punto de vista totalmente diferente al original, pues el cantante de Dead or Alive: Pete Burns, no era muy de damas, para que engañarnos. Aqui dejo unas cuantas versiones de la canción, para ver los diferentes enfoques que se le ha dio dando con el paso del tiempo.

Original:

Versión I (Dope):

Versión II ( Thalia):

Versión III (Flo-rida):

I Will Survive (Gloria Gaynor)

Y como no podia ser de otra manera, que mejor para terminar que el hinmo gay por excelencia: “I Will Survive” de Gloria Gaynor, de la que se han hecho versiones a mansalva, pero que siempre como bien dice su letra la canción original sobrevive y es que su fuerza no ha decaido con los años, lo que solo ocurre con los grandes hinmos, son eternos.

Original:

Versión I:

Alhamdulillah…

Sudah bisa beraktivitas di kantor lagi, setelah sekitar 2 bulanan bener2 off…

Hari ini Rabu, 18 nov 09 hari ketiga aku masuk. Masuk pertama kemarin senin… Awalnya sempat ngrasa agak “demam panggung” untuk bisa mulai lagi beraktivitas. Seminggu sebelumnya hari kamis aku mulai nyoba yg bnr2 keluar rumah. Kamis malem ikut nonton futsal my hubby… Sepanjang perjalanan ngerasa pusing, mual, eneg, sesak nafas dll. Hohoooo…tanda2 apa tuh? Iya memang, rasanya gak siap untuk kembali “menghadapi dunia”

Tapi bagaimanapun harus dicoba, gak mungkin aku terus2 an dirumah. Kadang aku ngerasa gak siap atau agak malas kalau harus ditanya2 tentang keadaanku… Yaaa…aku masih terus berusaha untuk survive setelah Kakak Rania pergi. Rasanya masih sering sesak!!! Tapi aku yakin semuanya pasti akan baik2 saja…walau perlu waktu…aku gak menyangkalnya…

Ingat kata2 my sizta Iwas… “There’s always the first time for everything”. Memang bener itu…saat pertama masuk sekolah, lulus sekolah, bekerja, menikah, hamil, punya anak… Saat pertama selalu ada…

Aku kembali mengalami saat pertama untuk menyesuaikan diri bahwa aku…kehilangan anakku…kemudian aku harus kembali memulai aktivitasku…kembali bekerja…harus siap ketika ditanya orang… Alhamdulillah so far, I can handle it.

Hmmm…hingga tadi aq masih ditanya teman dikantor…”kamu masih pucat lhoo…”, “udah bener2 sehat?”, “kalo belum kuat jangan dipaksakan…”…… sudah hari ketiga ini katanya aku masih pucat wajahnya. Padahal perasaan ini sudah sangat better… Alhamdulillah aku mulai menikmati hari2 kerja… Sementara ini memang belum bisa full. Aktivitas juga masih terbatas…Yaa mengingat hari ini tepat tiga minggu yang lalu aku diinduksi untuk melahirkan anakku…Besok kamis tepatnya 3 minggu yang lalu aku melahirkan…sampai sekarang masih dalam masa nifas, masih suka mules2, boyokku kadang rasanya patah2 Insya Allah aku bisa kuat, amin.

Awalnya masuk kantor sempet ngerasa gugup bgt…aneh…tau teorinya tp susah prakteknya…hmmm…psikolog newbie hehhee… Alhamdulillah suasana kantor nyaman…akhirnya aku bertemu dgn meja baruku… Soalnya sejak jd dosen disini krn masih baru belum ada tempatnya…jadi mejanya masih buat bareng2…Akhirnya aku punya ruangan sendiri…Aku punya tempat diruang dosen…Ruang Dosen II itu ada di lantai 2. Ruang Dosen I ada di lantai 1 itu khusus pejabat2nya. Diruang dosen II di sekat2 ada yg isinya 3 meja, 2 meja n 1 meja. Kebetulan aku dapet yg tiga meja bareng sama Bu Diana n Bu Hani. Pas pertama kali masuk aku cukup exited hehee…rasanya bener2 kerja sekarang. Cuman sempet bingung jg gara2 meja temen2 laen udah rame. Ada tempat naruh file, alat tulis, buku2, tissue, tanaman n bahkan ada permen&kue kering! Waduuuhhh mejaku masih kosong melompong n kotor lagi.

Akhirnya kumulai dgn mengelap meja pake tisu…gak ada kemocing soalnya. Trus ada kalender meja yg emang dibagi ditiap meja. Trus…udah cuman itu aja sama tumpukan undangan yg udah kadaluarsa hehhee…Enaknya mau kuapain ya meja ini…waaa…time to shopping kataku sama suamiku n dia ketawa aja nanggapinya.

Insya Allah besok Jum’at aku ngajar. Seharusnya ngajar berdua sama Bu Mutia untuk mata kuliah Psikologi Klinis tapi berhubung aku harus off 2 bulan kemarin akhirnya Bu Mutia sendirian. Nah sekarang aku dah masuk, n gantian aku besok yg ngajar. Lagi2 agak gugup juga, terakhir ngajar semester kemarin n udah lama juga gak berbicara didepan umum :p Once again…ketemu dengan saat pertama lagi kan? hmm… I can handle it!

Bismillahirrohmanirrohiim…

Five men from Papua New Guinea are rescued by a US fishing boat after two months adrift in the Pacific…. From BBC News. Full story

This site may contain information about: boat marinas. The blog is also related to: fish and ski boats.

Five men from Papua New Guinea are rescued by a US fishing boat after two months adrift in the Pacific…. From BBC News. Full story

This site may contain information about: fishing lure. The blog is also related to: surf fishing.

I recently published an article on Associated Content. Here is an insert:

You don’t realize just how phenomenal Black Friday is until you’ve experienced it in full. When unemployment is at an all time high and the recession is still being felt on main street, you may want to take advantage of the great deals that happen during this momentous occasion. You’ll not only end up saving a lot of money, but you’ll probably have a lot of fun in the process. However, Black Friday for the untrained or newcomer can be a scary and daunting prospect. Some deals are only happening at certain times of the day, some deals are absolutely bogus, and some deals require a bold attitude. Here are some simple tips and hints to take full advantage of this day.

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Per gli altri animali il concetto di territorio è inteso in senso spaziale, come riserva di caccia, quindi sopravvivenza e di riproduzione.

Quando pensiamo al concetto di territorio nella specie umana, tuttavia, non possiamo riferirci ad esso soltanto in senso spaziale.

Dobbiamo pensare invece a sopravvivenza e riproduzione, ben sapendo che nella nostra specie esse non sono correlate con l’ampiezza di terreno su cui oriniamo soltanto noi.

Esso diventa quindi un concetto astratto che va a definire i confini di tutto ciò che, se violato, potrebbe diminuire le nostre chanches di sopravvivenza, quindi anche di lavoro, carriera e rete di amici e di riproduzione, quindi le nostre chances di attrarre l’altro sesso.

Chi stia parlando male alle nostre spalle, magari sul lavoro, sta in effetti mettendo a rischio la nostra carriera e richiama un tipo di reazione che nel mondo animale sarebbe osservabile in caso di violazione territoriale. La nostra immagine sociale diventa quindi “territorio”.

Lo stesso dicasi per chi stia facendo del male alla nostra donna anche se questa si trova a 1000 km da noi, in posti dove non abbiamo mai fatto pipì.

Allora possiamo dire che esiste nell’uomo una difesa del territorio giusta, quando intacca sopravv. e ripr., ma a questa si aggiunge una problematica tutta umana: l’ego percepito come territorio e gli oggetti che possediamo che diventano diramazioni dell’ego.

Per questo potete fare un esperimento:

mentre parlate con qualcuno di cui non siete molto amici, cominciate a giocherellare con un suo oggetto non vitale, come l’accendino che ha lasciato sul tavolo.

Vedrete che comincerà a manifestare microsegnali di nervosismo, e quasi sicuramente si toccherà il viso o il naso come se avesse prurito.

Questo è un esempio di ego esteso a tutte le cavolate che possediamo, e di ego visto come territorio inviolabile.

Un uomo che avesse 10 automobili da collezione, sarebbe schiavo del terrore che anche una sola di queste venisse rubata, percependola come proprio territorio e come estensione del proprio ego, il quale finisce per controllare le nostre emozioni anzichè essere controllato da noi.

Discorso a parte va fatto invece per rappresentanti responsabili di zona o per gli appartenenti a gang dedite allo spaccio: per loro il territorio rimane ancorato al concetto spaziale, essendo il quartiere o la regione la loro fonte di sostentamento.

Essi tenderanno a non tollerare intrusioni di nessun tipo e a marcare il territorio con graffiti o con licenze registrate.

Il concetto di territorio spaziale si ritrova inoltre nelle fasce più deboli della popolazione, a cui lo straniero può effettivamente rubare il lavoro, sopravvivenza o le donne, riproduzione.

Il concetto di territorio da me espresso non si sovrappone ne si sostituisce in alcun modo al concetto di spazio personale così come descritto negli anni 60 da Edward T. Hall nel suo trattato sulla “prossemica”.( http://www.comunitazione.it/leggi.asp?id_art=2572&id_area=4&mac=2 )

Le distanze prossemiche pubblica-sociale-personale ed intima sono rispettate anche dagli animali tra loro, dentro e fuori il proprio territorio,ed anche dagli animali non territoriali e non rientrano nel concetto di territorio di caccia, infatti un animale potrà non tollerare un maschio della sua stessa specie nel proprio territorio, ma tollerare tranquillamente un animale diverso non in competizione alimentare. Tuttavia con quest’animale non in competizione applicherà le regole della prossemica e probabilmente non capiterà che si camminino uno sull’altro.

Detto questo:

Capito che il territorio può essere un fastidioso tormento dell’ego e che più cose possediamo più cose ci possiedono e ci intasano la testa, se non ne siamo distaccati.

Capito che il concetto di territorio nell’uomo non è solo legato allo spazio ma a tutto ciò che può migliorare o peggiorare le nostre chances di mangiare o fare sesso, come fare per difendere il territorio dagli attacchi continui degli altri?

E’ molto importante a questo scopo l’imparare a mettere dei paletti chiari su ciò che non si desidera, fin da subito.

La famosa frase “patti chiari, amicizia lunga”

Spesso si teme di sembrare scortesi nel comunicare agli altri quali cose non devono fare per essere nostri amici, collaboratori o quant’altro.

Invece non facendolo si finisce per subire, tacere, subire e poi esplodere rovinando tutto.

Questo ovviamente funziona con chi conoscete, ma il territorio è attaccato continuamente dagli sconosciuti.

Allora consiglio di applicare il principio di Pareto, detto dell’80/20. http://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Principio_di_Pareto

Più è grande un territorio meno è facile da proteggere e più ci da pensieri.

Inoltre ci renderemo conto facilmente che il 20% delle cose che abbiamo, delle cose a cui teniamo, ci da l’80% dei risultati che cerchiamo.

L’80% di ciò che abbiamo, facciamo, ecc ci porta al 20% dei risultati.

Sarebbe quindi ottimo farsi un bell’esame di coscienza e lasciar andare l’80% del nostro territorio, che è quasi inutile, e concentrarci a difendere con i denti e le unghie quel 20% prezioso che ci da l’80% di tutto ciò che ci serve.

La storia ci insegna che gli imperi sono sempre crollati dopo aver cercato di espandersi troppo.

Lasciamo andare quello che non è indispensabile, questo si tradurrà nell’avere l’80% dei vantaggi attuali con soltanto il 20% dello sforzo attuale.