0:00:00 – 0:04:51 (Setup and Technical Anomalies):

GenericGuy: What the shit? I set it to 1920×1080 and it’s the same size when I restarted it.

Jerakal: I set it to 1280×1024, which is my monitor size and it’s…not…that. It’s in some wacky widescreen sized

GG: Yeah, my monitor size is 1920×1080 so….

J: Yeah, I don’t know who it’s fooling.

GG: It just didn’t make it any bigger.

J: Yeah it’s definitely not 1280×1024 right now. But at least it’s windowed now.

GG: Yeah, I have mine windowed already.

J: Unfortunately you can’t move your mouse outside of the window

GG: Which is just so annoying

J: Which is like, why? I get it, this was intended to be played with a controller, but this is retarded.

GG: Yeah, I’m changing the resolution and the resolution’s not changing.

J: I’m gonna change it to default and see what it does. Ok, it went to 1280×720, which is fine, that’s probably what I wanted it at for streaming anyways. If it actually decides to be that size. Ya know, if it needs to restart after every settings change, it should just do it automatically, I shouldn’t have to close and reopen the game. Already some minor grumps here.

GG: And that’s why we stream the configuration process.

J: Oh are we streaming already? Should I be?

GG: Well, I am.

J: Oh, yeah, let me start that up. Oh my God, why did it go back to full screen?

GG: Ok, so let’s see here I need to…(furious typing sounds).

J: Oh yeah, how do I set it up to tweet whenever I…Oh here we go, notices. No wait, that’s how I get notices about other people. Here we go, twitter connections. Authorize app.

GG: Alright so, play Monaco. Play online.

J: Start streaming

GG: Custom match. Create Match. Private Match.

J: Hello stream! Welcome to Monaco: What’s Yours is Mine. This is in theory, a 4 player pixelated heist simulator, although we only have 2 assholes playing tonight. Me, and of course my buddy GenericGuy

GG: Yo.

J: You’re playing Monaco offline. I don’t want to play Monaco offline.

GG: Hit P

J: Why? Why do I need to hit P?

GG: Why doesn’t it default to online mode? I don’t know that’s a good question. Ok, what you’re going to want to do is select custom match

J: Ok…

GG: And you should be able to find my game in the list, I hope.

J: Should…

GG: You know what, I bet I have to actually invite you because I made the game private.

J: That would make sense.

GG: Interesting. Your drop down menu doesn’t have an invite you to game option.

J: Let’s see if your drop down has a join game. Of course it doesn’t! Because that’s convienent

GG: What the fuck.

J: And I’m sure this was developed for XBLA and then developed secondarily for PC

GG: Ok, so if you go into the custom game list can you see the game?

J: I see, the hydra343, nmagnus, juststep, monkeypocket, jvenom, axehilt. Just those. No others.

GG: So what is the point of me making….waiting…match options.

J: Active filter…

GG: INVITE FRIEND! I found it! It’s not in the lobby.

J: Not even? Oh, there you go.

GG: Yeah, because that would be intelligent.

J: NOW I can join.

GG: Jerakal has joined the game.

0:04:52 – 0:25:44 (A Life of Crime Begins):

J: Ok, from here I can choose my class. We have The Locksmith which GenericGuy appears to be on.

GG: Yeah.

J: Very fast at picking locked doors and safes. The pickpocket, has a pet monkey that collects loot. The cleaner, can knock out unsuspecting enemies. The lookout, can detect distant enemies while sneaking. I guess I’ll go for the pick pocket. And we’ll two player it up then.

GG: Ok, so we’re on the prison break

J: Is this the first level?

GG: Yes. The story thus far…

(Jerakal and GenericGuy spend some time reading the dialogs in different voices)

J: Escape from prison while the storm lasts. Ready.

GG: Ok, here we go, 3, 2…

J: Alright, let’s get right down to it. Push door to unlock. Ok. Oh wow! You are so much faster at unlocking doors than I am

GG: Yeah, I’m the locksmith, it’s what I do.

J: Wow, that is…Look at how dynamically…that’s cool.

GG: You mean the line of sight?

J: Yeah!

GG: Yeah, it’s pretty cool. I really like the line of sight in this. If you position correctly you can see the rain coming down outside.

J: That’s cool. And you can hear it too. I love the nice little touches. Watch out for guards. See this is how tutorials should work. Hold left trigger to sneak.

GG: Or for me, shift, because ya know, keyboard.

J: Hold A to view objectives.

GG: The objective is in the lower left hand corner.

J: ESCAPE!

GG: Oh, hang on, check this out. Takin’ a piss.

J: Great, I really needed to see that.

GG: Get the hell out of my way!

J: No. I’ve decided I’m picking that one. So I guess hector just automatically gets money if he sees…

GG: Oh you retard!

J: What? Oh.

GG: Why would you cross the lasers!?

J: What? What happened?

GG: You crossed the lasers and set the alarm off. See the guard is all alert down there now.

J: Why would they have lasers in the vents?

GG: So that you can’t escape? Just give me a second. There we go. Let me take out the power.

J: Oh, well that was convenient, glad that was just there. Huh…Apparently you have to monkey with the vent each time a new person goes up it. You see what I did there?

GG: I do. I saw exactly what you did.

J: Guard outpost. Whoop.

GG: Oh shit!

J: Yeah, he’s in there.

GG: Yeah, and there’s a guard out here too.

J: You can hide in bushes by approaching them, and you can kind of peek out of them. Whoop. Don’t go too far though or you leave it.

GG: Where’s he at?

J: The guard? He’s inside.

GG: Get behind, get behind this! At least I assume this is cover.

J: Yeah, I’m not sure. I think it’s just a picnic table.

GG: You do leave footprints when you…Oh shit.

J: Whose footprints are these? So, can I pick his pocket? How does that work…Monkey? Nope. Ok. Do you have any special abilities that require a button push?

GG: I don’t seem to, no. Careful, there was a guard walking around in there. Oh shit! Found him. He’s comin’ up towards the Warden’s Office. Oh. NOPE! Shit! He saw me.

J: It’s ok. That allowed my monkey to run in there and pick up all the loot.

GG: He’s coming in towards you now.

J: I turned off the alarm. Ok, I found a potted plant to hide in, so carefully try to get to where I am because there’s a lock that needs to be picked.

GG: He turned the alarm back on!

J: Shitfucker. Ok, I think I can turn it off from in here.

GG: He just went into the infirmary, I should be able to get by.

J: He’s coming. Go!

GG: Escape in the van!

J: Get in the van monkey man! Well, that was fun.

GG: Yeah, it’s a cool little intro to it. We cleaned the place out. Yeah! Only took us four minutes. the top score is fifty-one seconds apparently.

J: Well, I’m sure once we know what we’re doing, we’ll be going much faster.

GG: Ok, so we are exploring the locksmith’s story.

J: Huh, this is not very good. While you are selecting the mission all I can do is stare at the post match recap. Huh. so I can be the locksmith also?

GG: I don’t think so. If I lock it in I think you’re stuck without it.

J: Oh, ok yeah. Hijack at the hairpin. Hijack? Maybe I should be the cleaner this time.

GG: Go for it.

(GenericGuy and Jerakal once again read the mission conversation in stupid voices)

J: Steal coins for more ammo.

GG: Apparently I can get a gun as well! I only seem to be able to look one direction while I have the gun though. Oh no, ok. Apparently now I need my mouse for this all of a sudden.

J: So it looks like collecting coins does in fact give you more ammo.

GG: Well, as cool as that is, I would like some of that ammo if you don’t mind.

J: Fuck. You. Press right trigger to shoot. OK! You comin’?

GG: I guess I am.

J: Open it up fancy hands. I get the feeling that the cleaner is not the best at the stealth. That he’s more about the murder.

GG: Yeah….steal ten coins for one extra ammo. You’re really good at this murdering thing

J: I played Hotline Miami

GG: I did not. Was it good?

J: It was hard. I did not beat it, but it was fantastic.

GG: I also did not play retro city rampage.

J: I did not play that one either.

GG: Oh shit! There is no reason for you to unlock that door.

J: It wouldn’t let me go through the other one. Medkit up here. I haven’t taken any damage yet. Oh, that ring around you is your health too it seems.

GG: I seem to have lost my shotgun.

J: I think you can go get another from…or maybe you’re just out of ammo.

GG: Yeah, but I’ve been picking up coins. Ok nope, just out of ammo. You need to let me get more of the coins dude.

J: Ok then keep up!

GG: Then stop sprinting off at a million miles an hour.

J: So we can’t get out that way. Are we in a train yard or something?

GG: I think so.

J: The top down view and the graphics make it kind of hard to tell exactly what’s going on.

GG: I need three more coins. Ok, I have ammo again. Where are we going?

J: Down here. Hey is that the mole?

GG: Umm..I think so. I just picked him up.

J: So, are you the mole?

GG: The mole can break through walls…ok, how?

J: Maybe just by walking into them. Can you break through this wall up here? this just says super secret cave. Maybe there’s stuff hidden in the cave? Huh, it looks like you can hide, because you’re turning black when you do that.

GG: I think that’s just me getting covered in soot. What the hell?

J: Oh great, there’s something written there, guess you’d better clear it out.

GG: Wonder what it says.

J: I can’t…here.

GG: Where. Nowhere.

J: Nowhere the boa friend? Nowhere near the boat friend!

GG: Ha!

J: Dicks. Dicks everywhere.

GG: Yeah, that’s just total jackassery right there.

J: Ok, dig through that wall then.

GG: I don’t know that it was necessary for me to dig through that wall, there’s like, two rows of rocks down there we could have gone through.

J: Now I wonder, what kind of shit is hidden in the walls. I also wonder how will we know which guys we need to bring with us on each mission.

GG: Oh my god. We left a fricking coin at the Monaco railway. Unacceptable.

J: Can we even go back for it?

GG: We better be able to. Damnit we can’t.

J: But yeah, I’m just wondering how gimped we’re going to be by only having two people, because it seems like not taking the mole on missions that have hidden shit would cause you to miss out on coins and stuff. Fucking seagulls!

GG: You can’t kill them apparently.

J: Yup, you’re just wasting ammo.

GG: What’s to waste? This is the last stage.

J: Achievement unlocked! Massacre!

GG: I guess you get that for murdering everyone

J: Kill everyone in a mission.

GG: Yup. We have unlocked, the mole. Aw, we have to clean out one more mission in order to unlock the pickpocket’s story.

J: So we have to go get all the coins?

GG: Yeah, that’s cleaning out. Ok, so I guess we’ll do the next. The Lebanese Embassy.

J: I guess I’ll be the mole, since we’ll probably need him for this mission.

(More mission story, and more stupid voices)

J: Grab a smoke bomb. GET! Steal ten coins for one extra smoke bomb. Huh, can you hide in the trash can? Nope but I can destroy it because freedom spoon!

GG: Freedom spoon! There’s a guard over here in the entrance.

J: Yeah, he heard the noise, but it doesn’t seem to be coming over to check it out.

GG: Ok, I’m gonna take the stairs here.

J: So maybe digging through the wall isn’t the best way to get in. Guard’s coming. Oh ow.

GG: Don’t bring him up here to me!

J: Smoke bomb!

GG: I feel like he’s in here with us.

J: He’s in the room, but he’s not in the bush.

GG: Oh, so here’s the problem, you dug right into a tripwire.

J: What are the odds?

GG: Apparently, one. Ok, I think we can just walk past him.

J: Yeah, now that he’s looking the other way.

GG: Oh shit, guard on the can.

J: Yeah, but he’s not paying attention, I think you can pick that lock. Moley moley moley mole.

GG: How long does that stay disabled for? Not very long! Ok, gonna disable this one.

J: Ok. What did…I don’t think that did anything for us actually.

GG: I don’t think I can get past that…

J: I think the mole might be more useful for after you’ve done missions, for cheesing your way past rooms to shorten your times.

GG: Hey, there’s a wall up here that you could dig into the back of and get us into the next room. I’m going to go back and see if I can get the coins in the file room.

J: Yeah, I was able to break into that room.

GG: Ok, yeah, I can’t get through here, there’s a trip laser blocking me off. Although, it does turn gray, I wonder if I can cross it then. Yes! I can.

J: Ok, so I dug around all the traps up top.

GG: Oh shit! Damnit. I got antsy. Um, I’m in trouble. Oh wait, actually, they have no clue where I am.

J: Bruce is calling should I add him to the call?

GG: May as well.

J: Hey Bruce, what’s up?

GG: Oh, that alt tabbed me out, that was fun. And now I auto ran when I alt tabbed back in!

J: What the fuck!?

GG: Oh shit, stuff has just gone haywire. Smoke bomb. Gotta go!

J: I dug through the wall! Smoke bomb!

GG: I found a bush to hide in! I think they know I’m here.

J: Ya think?

Bruce L: So how’s that going?

J: Very chaos-y

GG: Great right up until I got alt tabbed out and then started auto running. So, I apparently go through the walls you’ve broken open. Either that or I can’t figure out which walls you’ve opened.

J: I haven’t broken a lot of walls, I’ve just…

GG: OH SHIT! There are like nine guards in there.

J: Ok, I really wish I’d brought the cleaner instead. For more murder.

GG: Shit, I’m about to get spotted here. Nothing! Nothing here. You see nothing.

J: (Bad German accent) Nothing, nothing, you only see air.

GG: Oh, I think I actually made it away from him. You’re in a room named important documents. It’s the important documents room.

J: Yes, it’s the important documents room for important documents. Here, come this way. I’ve got this little hacking thing that’s following me. There we go, it turned that off so we can get through. Ok, let’s head up.

GG: I’m surprised what we need wasn’t in the important documents room.

J: Right? What are we here for anyways? What was that?

GG: Uhh, that was me throwing a smoke bomb because my thumb spazzed.

J: Retard. Oh right, we’re here for passports.

GG: Right.

BL: That’s NOT in the important documents room?

GG: Exactly! That’s what I just said.

J: I didn’t even have to sneak past that guy. I just blatantly walked past him and took all the coins. Now, do we need to turn off both of these? Nope just one. Got it! Let’s get the fuck out. Shit! This way. I’m digging through the wall.

GG: Ok.

J: Or not. Can’t dig through that wall. When I dig through walls it does make noise, so they’re gonna come looking. Open that.

GG: Oh shit!

J: Go!

GG: Gotta go! One of us is trailing a red bloody footprint. Oh, shit. Um…uh-oh. Crap, I just set off the alarm. I made it to the street level!

J: I followed you. Out here! Out the hole I dug.

GG: Go! One of us is bleeding. Horribly.

J: Probably me.

GG: Go go go! That was not our cleanest run.

J: Nope, not even close.

GG: We left three coins behind too

J: Damn

GG: Oh my God, it adds a time penalty if you miss coins.

J: Shitty

BL: Brutal

GG: That is harsh.

And with that closing thought, we wrap up another Two Assholes Play. Full length video is available from GenericGuy’s perspective, and unfortunately Twitch devoured Jerakal’s. As always, please remember that this transcript covers a slightly edited version of the first 25 minutes, and that the extended videos may contain stronger and possibly offensive statements.

Jerakals Final Thoughts:

Monaco is nonstop, frantic, co-op, heist action. The simplistic graphics only highlight the charm of this indie title, allowing up to four players to bring one of a large number of unique characters into any given level, and use their talents to the fullest to disable security systems, get past guards, and take everything that isn’t nailed to the floor.

Don’t be fooled by the aforementioned simple presentation though, this game is as stylish as they come, managing to give each character their own personality, while using the fewest bits possible. The interface is also simple and easy to read, a quick sweep of the map will reveal objectives, data being given by other characters, and outline the traps and hazards that the players will have to overcome. Making it possible, as long as you’re communicating with your team, to navigate the tricks and traps the game has in-store for you.

GenericGuy’s Final Thoughts:

Monaco is a neat little game that brings something to the table that many, many, many games fail at which is a stealth mechanic that works. It accomplishes this by making the actual execution of successfully clearing a level just as engaging as when it all goes haywire. While the game can sometimes be frustrating when the going gets crazy, I never found it to stop being fun. This may not be a title for those who don’t have a consistent group to play it with, although there are public lobbies, because I feel the magic really happens when talking with friends and executing a stage together.

There’s a few complaints about the interface and the video options don’t really seem to change what they claim to, but these problems are hardly show stoppers. For $15 it is definitely worth picking up this IGF Grand Prize winner.

Well at first you might think, lets get it from bees, yeah! But my husband is deadly allergic, yes he actually flatlined it, so going into honey production would seem like an act of a evil, rather than baking or for other treats (like MEAD!).

But I hear, what are the other options. Sugar from trees of course! The trees I have found online with links to sap production for human consumption are maples, walnut and silver birch. 

The process would involve tapping the trees from August to September, where you need a sterile stile and tap to bucket set up, followed by that you cook down to make syrup or sugar. These can later be added to your refrigerator or stored through a bottling process and kept in the pantry. 

Phew. Looks like a lot of work, but for those people that don’t have ready access to sugar cane, or even want to put in annual crops such as these, or sugar beets, planting perennial sugar machines looks to be a good option. Even if your on a no sugar diet, there are other benefits of sugar, such as alcohol (fuel) production.

Something to ponder on!

Great references are here:

http://tapmytrees.com/taptree.html

http://www.nooga.com/160053/maple-syrup-with-a-southern-accent/

Plant flowers for bees and let them multiply and increase in numbers!

Here is a link to a piece I did for Girl-Jitsu. It gives a few examples of how to train smart, taking care of your body when you train, and how to “own your own training”. That phrase is something I tell everyone, including males. It’s something I learned at the Women’s Grappling Camp when I was only a white belt. At the time, I was the only female in my gym, and this was right before women’s BJJ was exploding, so many other females felt the exact same way: Being bullied in the gym by males who decide to use strength over technique. It taught me how to save myself from a lot of grief.

When you are training BJJ, that is your time. Make sure you are being assertive in your training: don’t be shy to ask questions about a particular technique, don’t be shy to ask for help. Your training, your time, make sure you are using it wisely. Drilling, drilling, drilling.  Don’t half ass drills, don’t half ass techniques.  You will perform how you practice.

Because BJJ requires you to work with someone else, that also means you have a responsibility to that person as well.  

Let them know if you’ve had previous injuries you’re recovering from, let them know the pace you want to roll at, and most importantly TAP. If you know the person has a legitimate submission that you can’t escape from, TAP. Don’t just wait to see how far your arm bends, because certain submissions it can only take a small amount of pressure before something pops. If you want to learn the escape, ask them to reset with little resistance and then see how you would escape. Tap early, tap often. Live to see another day of training.

Let the other person know the pace that you want to go, and make sure they respect that. If they are going at you like this is for the finals in Mundials, STOP, and tell them to bring it down a notch. I’m not telling you to be a bitch about it, I’m telling you to be assertive. There is no need to go 100% all the time, you will eventually hurt yourself, hurt a training partner, and then you won’t get to roll or nobody will want to roll with you. Then that will definitely be a sad situation.

So, “own your OWN training”. Be respectful, be aware, be cognizant. 

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All photographs by Marcello Mariana.

Important points

1. DO break new shoes in beforehand. While it may seem obvious, everyone does it at some point. Maybe your shoes are falling apart, maybe they hurt your feet, maybe you’ve cleaned them and they still look awful (see #3) or maybe your teacher wants you to wear bright red shoes for your dance. So you buy new shoes. Now, how they fit will depend on whether you’re still growing and whether or not you can afford to buy another pair of shoes potentially soon. We all know your shoes should be like a glove, but this is doubly important for shows and exams, because you want your feet to look their best. So if you’re still growing, ask yourself do you need new shoes? Could you wait until after the show? If you can’t, buy shoes that are a little bit too big, so you won’t grow out of them straightaway. And always wear them before the show. You need to mould them to your feet. This doesn’t happen overnight. So even though it may mean you get them a little bit dirty, you’ll actually be able to use your feet.

2. DO triple check your ribbons and/or elastic. Trust me; if your stitching is going to come undone, it will happen on stage. Don’t ask me why, it just does. So spend an evening with a needle and thread and make sure everything is secure. (Note: Dads are often really good at this. This is especially if they were in the scouts as a kid, or are in the forces. So if you’re not very good at sewing or you’re too lazy, practice your puppy dog eyes and pass them your ballet slippers).

3. DO clean your shoes. Ok, so you’ve decided to wear your normal shoes. They may look grubby, but don’t write them off. A little elbow grease goes a long way. Even now, I like to clean my shoes either after my last class, or two nights before hand (it can get stressful otherwise).
Ballet shoes – Leather: You will need: a toothbrush, a saucer of warm water, a saucer with 1 part cif cleaning cream and 2 parts warm water, kitchen roll. Ball up some kitchen roll and put it in the toe of your shoe (it’s easier to hold). Dip your toothbrush in the cif mixture and get cleaning. Try not to be too rough, you may damage the shoe. You’ll probably be left with brown sludge. With warm water, use the toothbrush to wash away the dirt. Now dry them off and put them on as soon as you can afterwards to make sure they haven’t shrunk.
Ballet shoes – Satin: Your teacher is evil. These will not clean. At least, I’ve never got them clean. Your best option is to use watered down calamine lotion on some cotton wool and dab them. It will paint them a matt pale pink. They won’t be shiny anymore. But then again, I never liked shiny shoes that much anyway.
Ballet shsoes – Canvas: Do you know why so many senior students wear canvas? Well, they can be chucked in the washing machine on a delicate cycle at a low temperature and they will be (almost) as good as new. My advice though? Do this a while before the show. Just in case.
Ribbons and Elastics: The easiest way to describe this is to treat it like you’re washing your hair. I’d use the hand wash laundry liquid (I’m sure there is a proper name, but I can’t remember it) or at a push washing up liquid. Add it to a bowl of water and gently clean them. Make sure to dry them properly. For ribbons, dry them flat. If you want, iron your ribbons. This gets rid of the part that’s all folded from where you tie them and makes them prettier. (Be prepared to cut your ribbons off at the show if you have a quick change. Likewise, you will probably trim your ribbons so there won’t be any sticking out bits. This may make them difficult to re-tie. Bare this in mind)
Tap & Jazz shoes – Leather: Black (or whatever colour your shoes are) shoe polish. You can get it in a block form, or you can get it in a liquid form which is normally easier. Dads seem to be really good at this, but so are granddads. So ask them to show you how to do it. In my experience, they tend to get angry and they’ll just do it themselves, which is definitely NOT what you were planning. (Note: If you’re in a rush, black permanent marker works on small areas, but it can look weird)

4. DO prepare for everything to go wrong. Your school will probably have everything. But I liked to take my own tool box which I knew had everything in, just in case. And for the most part, I tried not to let anyone use it. That may sound mean, but if you’ve put the time, effort and money into it, you don’t want someone walking off with your hairbrush. For a normal show, it would include:

A mini sewing kit (safety pins, needle and thread in various colours, scissors, buttons etc)
A screw driver and spare tap shoe screws
Spare ribbons and elastics
A lighter (to burn the edges of ribbons)
Extra scissors (in case someone walks off with your other pair)
First aid kit (plasters, tape, dressing, support bandages, painkillers etc)
Baby wipes (they’re normally cheaper than hand wipes or makeup wipes and they work the same)
Tissues
Deodorant (anti-white mark kind)
Small bag of rosin (if the stage allows it)
Face moisturiser (if you’re taking your make on and off all day, pamper your skin. It makes it easier)
Nail polish remover and cotton wool (Trust me, one day you’ll forget)
Spare socks & tights (I used to vacuum pack them in a sandwich bag so they stayed perfect)
‘Tit tape’ (Body tape, really good to hold sleeves in place, leotards up etc. Get the Anne-Summers or similar ones. I find the dance companies tend not to be as strong)
Spare false eyelashes
Eye Lash glue (that stuff is so handy)
Extra hair stuff (brush, comb, hair bands, grips, pins, bun nets, hair spray, hair gel etc)
Water (back up emergency water. That way you’ll always have some just in case)
Emergency Snacks (Dried fruit, plain flapjack… something that isn’t noisy, won’t make a mess, won’t go off and won’t stain)

And then I would add to it depending on the dances we were performing. Also, if something happens and you don’t have the thing you need, go and buy it soon after the show and put it in there. It doesn’t matter if you next show is the tomorrow or next year. At least it’s in there. My show box is always stocked and ready to go. (Yes, I know, it is a bit sad.)

5. DO get a good night’s sleep. The night before the show is not the time to go to a party, have a sleepover or stay up late writing an essay. Try and get a good eight hours sleep, but don’t stress about it. You’ll be alert the next the day and much less likely to injure yourself.

6. DON’T rely of Red Bull. I’ve been there, normally because I didn’t do #5. I’ve been stupid. I’ve been downing can after can of caffeinated rubbish. It is not nice. Your energy levels will spike and crash all over the place. You’ll be dehydrated. You’ll feel sick. It’s not big, and it’s not clever. Would you drink three espressos in a morning? Yeah, I didn’t think so. If you HAVE to have one, drink lots of water afterwards to stay hydrated.

7. DO bring lots of water and healthy snacks. Low GI foods are your friends today. They take a long time to digest, so your sugar levels won’t crash. Pack lots of little things rather than one big pasta dish. And don’t assume there will be somewhere for you to heat up your food or a kettle for you to use. But if you’re going to order dominos, ask anyone else if they want to order something too.

8. DON’T eat or drink in your costume. Orange juice all over a white tutu… I’d prepare to see your teacher turn into the Incredible Hulk if I were you. Be sensible. If you have to drink, drink water because it won’t stain and it’s better for you than caffeinated rubbish (see #6)

9. DO cover up. Your dressing gown is about to be your best friend. It doesn’t go over your head so it won’t mess up your hair, it’s easy to get on and off, there aren’t any zips for costumes to get stuck in… If you don’t have a dressing gown, find something in your wardrobe that’s similar. Yes, you will probably look a bit silly wearing a dressing gown. But you will be warm and snuggly and you won’t spill your lunch all over you. Of course, you won’t be eating in your costume (see #8)

10. DO warm up. Bouncing up and down twice before you run on stage doesn’t count. You are in charge of your own body, so be sensible.

11. DON’T cut false eyelashes when they’re attached to you. Seems obvious, but when you’re stressed normal logic goes out of the window. This applies to a lot of things, but the moral of the story is do not put scissors near you unless you really have to.

12. DON’T turn up hung-over. This links in with #5 & #6. You’re an adult*. That means you can drink. But use some self-control. Alcohol dehydrates you (who would have though, hydration is important!) Your body is full of toxins. You’re not feeling too great. If you’re hung-over, there’s only one thing you can do. Find a quiet corner, and get ready. You are the model student from now on. Avoid contact with your teacher and small children, both will notice you’re not yourself. (*If you’re drinking, you better be over 18. Underage drinking is not cool.)

13. DO NOT EVER TURN UP DRUNK. If you think you’re still drunk, shame on you. Start mainlining water and pray you’re sober to go on stage. You’re letting your fellow dancers down. I’m not going to write any more about this because it’s making me angry.

14. DO arrive with plenty of time. Don’t be that person that runs in ten minutes before the show starts without their hair or makeup done. Your teacher will probably cry. Normally, your school will tell you to be there x amount of time before hand. This is non-negotiable. Don’t cause your teachers extra stress. Caught in traffic is an acceptable excuse. Decided to go shopping beforehand is not.

15. DO make sure you have everything on ‘the list’. Normally your school will provide you with a list of things you will need for the show. This list is sacred. Do not chuck it into the bottom of your bag with all your wrappers and lost hair pins. If your teacher hasn’t given you a list, politely speak to them at the end of the class and ask them what you will need. Make notes. Do not ask them the week before the dress rehearsal. Make sure you have time. My advice is to double check your list AT LEAST two weekends before the dress rehearsal. That way you have time to go and buy anything you’ve missed. Don’t assume someone else will have a spare metre of yellow ribbon that you can use.

16. DO be nice. Sounds obvious but you should try and be nice. Offer to help the back stage volunteers. If your teacher looks like they need a hand carrying boxes, ask. Offer to help tie the ribbons of the younger students. Basically, the more helpful you can be, the smoother the show will run and the more fun it will be.

17. DO listen to any feedback your teacher gives you. Shows are exciting. But don’t forget your technique. Likewise, if you teacher tells you to really extend your arabesque, do it. If you can, find a quiet corner and practice. Again, you might feel silly. But who will be the one looking brilliant on stage? Exactly.

18. DO say thank you. This one goes to senior students especially and ties in with #16. You’re a senior girl now. You’re probably dancing en pointe. You feel like you’re backstage at the Opera House. Now is not the time to start acting like a diva. Just because you’re older doesn’t mean you automatically get the right to the mirror. You used to be a little one once. Remember, the more gracious and elegant you seem, the more they will look up to you. And one day, when they’re senior students, they’ll act the same. And the world will be a happier place.
And remember to say thank you to your teacher. Maybe you can’t afford to buy them a giant box of chocolates, maybe you just don’t want to. But a heartfelt thank you will mean so much to them. They work really hard to prepare for the show. It isn’t for them at the end of the day, it’s for you. So say thank you. It’s only two little words.

19. DON’T get too worked up. I cannot tell you how many times I was told ‘it’s just a show sweetie’. You’re not on stage at Sadler’s Wells performing Matthew Bourne’s Sleeping Beauty just yet (although we can all dream). So try not to get too angry because you tripped. Learn from it, and move on.

20. DO occupy yourself. Take homework (yeah I know, but you need to do it). Take books. Take games (without any small parts that are easy to lose). Take your iPod. Take whatever you need to keep yourself amused because, especially at the tech and dress run, there will be a lot of waiting around. Just don’t bring anything that could hurt people, that can be easily lost, that will make a mess. Don’t bring something that will disturb the other performers, that is noisy or that is too big. Once again, just be sensible.

21. DO turn your phone off. That goes for Gameboys, laptops and anything else that either makes noise or uses radio waves. I don’t really understand it, but hold your phone near a radio. When you get a text or a phone call the radio will make a weird noise. You do not want this to happen to the sound system while you’re on stage. Neither do you want everyone to hear your ‘really cool’ Call Me Maybe ringtone.

22. ENJOY IT!! Performing should be fun! Everyone gets nervous, but you shouldn’t hate it. If you do, maybe speak to your teacher about it. I loved choreography, so I would make notes on my favourite dances and why I liked them (I don’t think my teachers knew that… SURPRISE!) and that made it a bit more fun for me when I started to stop enjoy performing.

Just to clarify some terms:

Technical Rehearsal: Often referred to as the Tech, this is the most important and most boring run through. Most choreographers will try to make this as painless as possible. What will happen if the choreographer (or artistic director, depending on who has decided) will tell the technical team what lights, effects and so on they would like at what point. Then they need to show them. So you will have to run through your dance, often stopping at certain points. This stop-start routine is really annoying for us dancers but hang in there because it’s worth it. Then the tech team need to input this information into their software and machines, and possible move some lights. Then you may be asked to run through the dance again so they can check it is right. Normally you will not be in costume for this, but it is up to your choreographer.

Dress Rehearsal: This is your practice show. Full hair and makeup is required. Unless the lighting rigging falls down, you will not be stopping for anyone. They need to do this for lots of reasons. Mostly to check everything will work on the night and to see how long the show is. Treat this as the real show.

Quick Change: This is when you have two or more dances very close together and don’t have time to run back to the changing room. I would classify anything less the three dances as a quick change. You may be lucky enough to have someone help you, but don’t rely on them. You need to be mature here. Quickly and quietly, you have to get completely ready for your next dance without making any noise, as quick change areas are normally next to the stage. Try and be neat, because someone else will need to use the area after you, and it makes it easier to find your stuff afterwards if it’s all in one place (there’s always someone that can’t find shoe).

Running order: This is the order of the entire show. Normally, there will be a running order in your changing room. If there isn’t, ask for one. If they can’t give you one, ask if you could copy it (you’ll need pen and papers for that obviously, don’t expect them to give it to you).

Changing Rooms: This is where you basically live for the entirety of the show. Unless your school is crazy lucky, you will be sharing your changing room with the rest of your class, if not multiple classes. (Some people get very angry because they expected their own room with a mirror and light bulbs). Keep it tidy. You need to stay in here for the duration of the performance. That way the runners know where you are.

Runners: These angels are in charge of making sure everyone is in the wings when they should be. If you’re lucky, these lovely people will get you from your changing room and take you back stage normally two dances before it’s your chance to perform. However, if you’re school doesn’t have any runners (normally because not enough parents volunteered to help) you need to pay attention to who is on stage and when you are on stage in relation.

Chaperones: They (normally parents) are in charge of you. They’re job is to make sure you don’t die during the show. If you’re chaperoning younger students it’s hard work. But older students basically look after themselves. If you’ve manage to bag this job on the volunteering sign up list, take a good book. Fingers crossed you won’t have to do anything.

Back stage: Everything ‘behind the stage’ i.e. where the dancers are. Often not technically behind the stage, so it can be a bit confusing for young students.

Front of house: Where the audience are. If you’re a performer, you are not here. Ever. Don’t sneak out to say hi to mum quickly. Stay backstage. If you’re working front of house, this normally means you’ll either be selling refreshments, collecting and selling tickets, advertising available classes and helping people to their seats. You are representing the school, so big smiles.

I hope that clears up any queries you have. If you’re ever in doubt, calmly ask your teacher when they aren’t running around doing a million things at once. The most important thing, parents, students, grannies and granddads, is to enjoy it. Often shows cost the school a lot of money, they don’t make any money from it. Teachers often aren’t paid to work on show days. They only do it to give the dancers a chance to perform. So if you can help, please do! (I left my school nearly two years ago to go to university but my mum is still helping at this year’s show, just so other dancers will get the same opportunities as I did)

Ok stay excellent and remember, no matter what keep smiling x

Here is the official visual for the Rich Gang single ‘Tapout’ featuring Lil Wayne, Birdman, Future, Mack Maine and Nicki Minaj (looking sooo sexy). Directed by Hannah Lux Davis. The video contains cameos from Bow Wow, DJ Khaled, Paris Hilton, Christina Milian (sooo peng) and more. Can’t deny its a very strong team!

My sister, brother-in-law, and me trying Agave Nectar Blue Moon

** BIRDMAN AND HIS YOUNG MONEY SQUAD DROP THE OFFICIAL VIDEO TO THEIR SINGLE “TAPOUT”, WHICH WILL APPEAR ON STUNNA’S UPCOMING ALBUM “RICH GANG” — WATCH THESE VISUALS NOW !! **

I’ve decided to start a personal blog to help me track my progress of my fitness.

A bit about myself! I am a budding dancer, and I currently attend The Hammond School, I am training in Professional Dance.

I have basically decided to start this blog as I have recently gotten quite out of shape and unfit! And I’m always finding it very difficult to motivate myself, however I always liked to tweet my exercise details on twitter, and I’m sure it was beginning to bug people! So I decided it’d be a good idea to start my own blog so I have something to motivate myself where I can post as much as I like, and if my post interest you or maybe help motivate you in some way then that’s a huge bonus!

I hope if anyone does decide to join me on my fitness craze you will enjoy my posts!

All the best!

“Mr. Tanimoto, fearful for his family and church, at first ran toward them by the shortest route, along Koi Highway.  He was the only person making his way into the city; he met hundreds who were fleeing, and everyone of the seemed to be hurt in some way.  The eyebrows of some were burned off and skin hung from their faces and hands.  Others, because of pain, held their arms up as if carrying something in both hands.  Some were vomiting as they walked.  Many were naked or in shreds of clothing.  On some undressed bodies, the burns had made patterns-of undershirt straps and suspenders and, on the skin of some women (since white repelled the heat from the bomb and dark clothes absorbed it and conducted it to the skin), the shapes of flowers they had had on their kimonos. Many, although injured themselves, supported relatives who were worse off.  Almost all had their heads bowed, looked straight ahead, were silent, and showed no expression whatsoever.” (p. 39-40)

“Mr. Tanimoto’s way around the fire took him across the East Parade Ground, which, being an evacuation area, was now the scene of a gruesome review: rank on rank of the burned and bleeding. Those who were burned moaned, “Mizu, mizu! Water, water!” Mr. Tanimoto found a basin in a nearby street and located a water tap that still worked in the crushed shell of a house, and he began carrying water to the suffering strangers…”(p. 42)

John Hersey, Hiroshima (Bronx, N.Y.: Ishi Press International, 1946).

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Franke has also been busy extending its range of Minerva boiling water taps. The Minerva Helix, Mondial and Irena join the original model this spring, all with the look of a standard kitchen tap but offering instant boiling water alongside normal hot and cold functions.

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Har Cheez kuch Sikhati hai…… Kabhi Chup rehkar, to Kabhi cheekh cheekh kar hume apni baat samjhati hai!!

(Every Thing around us teaches us something or other… Some times by keeping mum and sometimes by shouting from the roof)

And this was experienced by me a few days ago…. When my Geyser TALKED to me…. Yes it did and it didn’t only Talk it gave me a lesson too. 

And then Every Next Day, I could hear voices from all the Accessories/Fittings in my bathroom and I wondered why I didn’t listen to them earlier.

But I am Glad that I did now…. And that I am sharing it with every one….

April 17, Friday 
Day 1:: Geyser

While I went for a bath….. I heard my Geyser Say…”Gurpreet, It takes me 30 minutes to heat the water in Winters, but in Summers (now)…. I take only 6 minutes to do so. Just goes on to prove that…. Times keep changing…… But if you are consistent with your efforts, the “Target does get met”…… Sometimes Earlier… Sometime Later…..”

Thinking it to be a one off incident, I Moved on, Only to be surprised the next day too.

And now it was the Slippers

April 18 Saturday 
Day 2:: Towel 

When I heard my Bath towel talking to me the next morning, I thought … Either I have gone Crazy or everything in my Bathroom has. 
Nevertheless, I was Enjoying…and Learning too, so I listened carefully.

My Towel Said “Gurpreet, You use me rarely. May be for Just for 2 mins a day….. But still I am very very important to you. Just imagine… you have taken a Bath and you are without a Towel??”

And that set my mind thinking….

But the Towel Continued.

“So never Take things For Granted…..However small they are or however less they come in Contact with you….. You would realise its importance only when they are not with you”

April 19 Sunday 
Day 3:: Bathroom Slippers

And the trend continues…….. As It was My Slippers Talking to me today. 

It said…..”Gurpreet…. Each Person/ Object here in this world has come for a specific Motive. And if you try to change its use….Then it may not perform even 1% of what it is designed for. 

Jaise ki….. I’m a chappal…. I can only be utilized when I’m on your feet Protecting you from dust and Nails on the floor. If I think, That I can become and perform the function of a Glove or Cap which are More delicately handled…. Then I may Loose my character completely.
So….Be Yourself and Excel rather Aping Others and Failing”.

April 21 Tuesday
Day 4:: Tap

And then the next day I stepped into my Bathroom, Wondering if the saga continues…. And it did. And today I was surprised by my Tap (Mixer/Faucet).

I was Busy adjusting my tap to get the right Mix of Luke warm water for my bath….. But I was failing… The flowing water was either too warm or too cold. And after repeated attempts … I got the right mix in 3 Minutes” 

On this my Mixer Tap tells me “Gurpreet, Sometimes it is stroke of Luck or sometimes…… It is sheer Hardwork…… which gives u the right Mix in Life. 

So, Just “Work Hard” initially and find Best Mix for you and then keep working hard to maintain it… Till your Priorities Change” 

Another Lesson Learnt!!

April 22 Wednesday  
Day 5:: Mirror

Today When I stepped into by bathroom to brush my teeth……. I heard another Voice. 

And today it was my MIRROR.

As I looked into it and saw myself … I could hear my mirror saying…..

“Come on Gurpreet, let’s talk FACE TO FACE” and then continued….

“Each Person has many facets, which is Good…. But Masks over those Facets is not good. 

One can fool everyone in this world… but not yourself. Whenever you see the Mirror, You will only see and hear the truth…. Your Real Self…… 

Remember to “Be Sincere” to yourself, it will show through the Glow on your Face when you see the Mirror Next!!

And remember to “Smile when you see the Mirror….. If you can Smile for Others, You can Smile for yourself too”

And Since then, I can’t Stop Smiling  ))))))))))

April 23 Thursday 
Day 6:: Soap

Unlike other Mornings when I heard a Loud Confident Voice, Today…. It was a very feeble Voice that called me…..

And when I looked around to see where it came from… I noticed it was from the Soap in my hand!!

It had already been used for 5 days and within next 5 days…. It would be used and finished completely.

In its feeble Whisper/sobbing tone… it said to me
“Gurpreet, in order to use me… People rub me every day against them and in the process each day I loose a part me. I cry at times because I will be finished in a few days. 

However since I don’t have an option, I try to find a false solace that I am being of use to someone. But the truth is…… It’s good to help someone, but not at the cost of hurting yourself

If you don’t set your own priorities, then someone else will set it for you. It will be obviously that suits THEM, not YOU!
So take your own Decisions, Don’t Exhaust yourself for others!

Another Lesson Learnt… Was Desperately Required. 

Thanks Saabun Didi!

And since then…. I have not heard any more voice……. coming from the Bathroom.

But in hindsight I realise.. that many a times in Malls, Cinemas and even my Car I heard some sounds,but ignored it.

Seems… Now I need to convince them to speak to me again so that I could Listen,Talk, Learn and pen down “Mall Tales” and “Cinema Tales” too  

Olivia Burd – Passed Ballet 4, Tap 4 and Tap 5

Margaret Dunkelberger – Passed Tap 4 and Tap 5

Martha Dunkelberger – Passed Ballet 4, Jazz 4 and Jazz 5

Lucy Hodges – Passed Tap 1

Olivia (left) and Martha (right) at after their Ballet Forum performance at CNADM (photo: M. Dunkelberger)

We are excited to share the news with you that, last summer, Miss Olivia Burd progressed to testing at the annual Chicago National Association of Dance Masters convention and was awarded 2012 Student Honors at the Blue Level (ages 12-13) in Ballet, Tap, and Jazz! Congratulations, Olivia!

Want to learn more about how you can be a part of this awesome program? Send us a quick note below, and we’ll get back to you with more information.