Jolie Rama
Sur un gradin perchée
(Gradin d’assemblée…
Gradin de stade…)
Tenait en ses mains
Bien serrées
Son maroquin.
Un gredin de Renard,
Par ce corps beau
Alléché…
(Un corps beau
À croquer !)
Lui tint à peu près ce langage :
« Que vous êtes jolie !
Vue d’en m’bas,
Que vous me semblez m’Bo !
Descends donc !
Nous danserons
Le mam’bo.
Et ton maroquin,
Pas d’chagrin,
Tu l’gard’ras,
J’en f’rai  pas
Plein de rage
Un fromage… »

Puis ainsi
Le rossard causit :
« Sans ment’rie
Si votre ramaillade
Se rapporte à votre plumaillade
Vous êtes le phénix
De mes minix
Et des hôtes
De mes champs
(Élysées).»
À ces mots
Si bien dits
(À ses maux
Pressentis),
Rama ne ressent pas de joie,
En perd même la voix
Et ferme son joli bec,
Se retient,
N’en pense pas moins
« Rien de neuf ! »
Comm’ Titeuf :
«Même pô peur ! »
« Pas si ‘rô qu’ça ! ».

Et de ses menues mains
Elle tient bien
L’maroquin
Tant elle craint
Le coquin.
(«Grand pendard !
Dit Voltaire).
Et elle pense :
« Par prudence
Mieux vaut m’taire !»
À ses mots
Devinés
Il jura,
(Mais un peu tard),
« Nom d’un pétard ! »,
Qu’on ne l’y prendrait plus.

La petite Pléyade

Welcome to Dade City, Florida! Thursday evening, Genoveva Amacenda-Velona, was arrested for DUI and has created a possible new Drunk Driving category.

She's an innovator when it comes to DUI

She was caught with her own party station in the car. She had half a bottle of Cuervo and the sliced limes on the console, but no salt anywhere to be found. The other odd part of her setup was the two kids that were taken along for the ride. The kids aged 7 and 9 were wearing seatbelts, but that wouldn’t save them from the crazy that is their mother.

She was originally being pulled over because her passenger side headlight was out and it was 7:30 at night. The Deputy got another surprise when he got to the window. Amacenda-Velona’s blood alcohol level was 0.233, which is freaking three times the legal limit. Since Amacenda-Velona doesn’t speak English, she told police through an interpreter that she only had 3 or 4 beers at a friend’s house.

Amacenda-Velona, 30, is being charged with Child Neglect, DUI, No Registration, and of course not having a Valid Driver’s License. She was also nominated to be the first ever recipient of the Driving Under Mixed Alcohol Stupidity award, also known as a DUMAS Award. It is pronounced Dumb Ass…

This Mother is a Dumbass

eh, ja.

Jeg vet ikke heeelt hva som har skjedd, men ok, her er problemene (det er mange av dem)

1) Min mac er treg som et helvete! safari og fargehjulet (den shiten som går rundt og rundt) går hånd i hånd. Macen min (MacBook Pro) er ikke eldre enn 5 måneder!

2) mistet iPhonen i bakken i dag. Skjermen blir helt hvit hvis jeg tar tastelåsen på.

3) Pcen min har en helt sort skjerm. HELT sort. Den er 1 år gammel.

4) Bilen min + aux kabel = FAIL! Bilen er en Mercedes e230 (fra 2002 tror jeg?), og anlegget er .. vel.. jeg kan ikke sånt.

5) bør jeg kjøpe minipc fra hp?

6) Mobilt bredbånd = Macen enda mer herpa. Samme med bredbåndet.

7) jeg tror at jeg kanskje har ødelagt kameraladeren min. Kameraet er et Canon ixus 980 IS. Hvor får jeg ny lader?

Bilen: En varsellampe som ser ut som en lyspære lyser. ingen av lysene mine har gått. hva betyr den?

Ja, jeg er tard med elektronikk, det har jeg aldri benektet heller

Eventuelle svar + hjelp kan sendes til patronizing@live.no =D

Hey y’alz. Read this new age book with crazy ideas in it the other day called The Tipping Paint. Bought it coz I thought I’d learn how to ‘apply PVA properly’ but turns out there’s a typo on the cover and its actually about how trends & shiz hit the mainstream.

Reading it made me think about my blog. I thought some sad thoughts. When I first started this blog I was inspired to ‘sing for the king and queen in the coat I borrowed 4rm James Dean’, but now I’m kind of over it. Now that it’s popular and ppl actually like it I kind of don’t know what the point is anymore?

Wish they'd covered this in LifeSkills class. Can someone tell LifeSkills to 'get on twitter'?

Why am I writing here?
Why do my blog posts exist?
What product am I selling?
Am I about to become a Prawn?

Is my 'prawn claw' weighing me down? Should I embrace my new species?

Have y’all heard of cannibalism in brands? Kind of worried my blog is cannibalizing my personal brand. It used to be kind of ironic because I was a ‘consummate professional who blogged like a tard’, now I am a ‘tard who is a consummate professional at blogging like a tard’ who is hated by client service. Basically it means I have no friends left, and want 2 die.

Nom Nom Nom.

Have any of y’all faced this?
Is there a blogging crisis helpline I can call?
Is there a point?

Keep on trucking?

Really want 2 turn my life around and become a ‘beacon of hope’ for young advertising bloggers who look up to me instead of being a ’sarkie l’il brat who actually just needs to Shut The Fuck Up’. What do y’ulz think? Should I donate this personal brand to a charitable organisation and buy a new one?

Welcome to “Westlife Tards”.  You all must be wondering what the fuck is this site all about. Well, I shall tell you.

Westlife are an Irish boyband. They currently have 4 members (in order of importance to the band): Shane Filan, Mark Feehily, Kian Egan and Nicky Byrne. They used to have a fifth member called Brian McFadden but he jumped ship a long time ago.

This site deals with the batshit crazy fans of these 5 guys, and will also, on occasion, cover insane fans of Westlife/Brian’s partners (also know as Gillian Filan, Kevin McDaid, Jodi Albert, Georgina Byrne and Delta Goodrem – respectively).
The goal is to expose these crazies for what they are to the world. Show their shameful stalkerish and just plain out disturbing behavior. These people need not be enabled any longer. This site aims to ridicule these individuals, mercilessly, and make them realize the error of their very creepy ways.
All the while, this site is meant to entertain. Whether you’re a Westlife fan, a Brian fan, a combined fan-force, a former fan or if you actually loathe Westlife – there’s something for everyone.
This site will cover stories and erratic behaviors of different individuals within the fandom. We will stop at nothing to uncover the truth, and amuse.
Only a select few crazies will get their very own extensive covering, and these individuals are the ones Westlife Tards recommends you to avoid most.

Before we sign off on this post, a few definitions (one of those days, I shall collect all of these ditties into one informative page. That day is not today):

Frau – In German, the word means a Madame. As far as we’re concerned, a frau is an older fan – a fan old enough to have children at school age and higher (and occasionally, grandchildren too), who spends all her time gawking at Westlife online and stalking them come tour time.
The frauen (plural) tend to be the scariest of fans because while the younger fans’ behavior is excused by their tender age and lack of knowing better, the frauen have no excuse.

Mau – This is the male Frau. There are very few of them for Westlife, but they exist, and tend to be even worse than the frauen.

Tard – A tard is a young fan. Anything from the age of zero (some frauen teach their kids the blessings of Westlife from the minute they are born and sometimes before, during the pregnancy) to the mid-twenties. As previously stated, these fans’ creepy behavior is often excused by their youth, but is still funny to observe.

Stalker – Not a hard one, a stalker is a fan that follows the object of their affection (in our case, Westlife) wherever they may go. You can find them in airports (somehow knowing what flight Westlife are supposed to board/get off of), at several different concert venues across the country (occasionally travelling very far, sometimes even outside of their country, to see Westlife despite the fact they’re performing at their hometown. And obviously doing a couple dozen shows), taking vacations to Sligo and Dublin and making sure to stop at notable sights (such as Kian/Shane/Mark’s houses, Kian/Shane/Mark’s family houses, Kian’s juice bar, Kian’s favorite beach to surf, Nicky’s house, Nicky’s family home etc.), or online (seeking Westlife/their partners/their family members/their friends on social networks and bombarding them with messages about the band, occasionally even harassing them).

The first post (of many) shall be up soon enough. Keep them eyes peeled, and tell a friend or two.

Le Festival approche à grands pas et l’équipe FICG est fière de vous présenter les participants de la première édition de la résidence Jamais Trop Tard 2009!

Au cours des derniers mois, nous avons reçu pas moins de 73 candidatures. Les juges qui ont procédé à l’écoute des dossiers ont eu la difficile tâche de sélectionner les 12 artistes qui prendront part à cette toute première résidence dédiée aux personnes de 50 ans et plus.

Consultez notre site Internet au www.ficg.qc.ca dans la section Jamais Trop Tard ou cliquez sur le lien pour connaître les heureux participants. http://ficg.qc.ca/jamais.html

Le spectacle se tiendra le 18 septembre à 20h30 sur la scène Loto-Québec sous le chapiteau dans le stationnement du Théâtre Palace. Et c’est gratuit!

Bienvenue à tous !

L’équipe du Festival