**As the scene begins a few people can be seen walking around a house, as they round the back of the house a sign can be seen hanging from the shop in the back. Welcome to the property owned by the Storm’s. As the camera zooms in on the sign, the people standing watching the sign can be seen as Andrew and Elizabeth Storm, along with Andrew’s tag team partner and friend Robert Saints. Andrew Storm begins to smile as he sees the old sign hanging from the shop door.**

Andrew Storm: Everyone knows that I am originally from Canada, so guys and girls welcome to my old childhood home. As you can tell the house is still in the family and continues to hold the same sign that my parents had on the outside. For this upcoming tournament we are in one of my old stomping grounds Vaughan, Ontario. The place only knows how much trouble I got into when I was a kid there, but that is another story. Now I not only get to cause trouble in that city but I get to do it inside of the ring, and with my partner, for those of you that don’t know him he is the one and only Robert Saints.

Robert Saints: Thanks Andrew but I just hope that the Canadian fans are as supportive of me as the fans back home in North America. I have one good advantage though, me being your partner will give the Canadian fans some insight into just what kind of person and wrestler that I am.

Andrew Storm: Let me be the first to say that The Extreme Thrillers will reign supreme in this tournament. For the first round we are taking on a group by the name of Team America. That group consists of two guys by the name of Colonel Combat & Roscoe Garrett.

**Andrew Storm backs up a little ways and wraps his arm around Elizabeth’s waists pulling her to him. Andrew and Elizabeth Storm along with Robert Saints begins to move towards the back door of the house.**

Andrew Storm:  One of the other guys in the group Team America I have beaten before, at that time it was for the US Title. But now we are facing off once again, this time in a tag team tournament, so Roscoe Garrett, I never got that revenge on you for stealing that title back away from me. So for once I will get that revenge on you, and not only on you this time but also on your tag team partner Colonel Combat. Robert Saints and I are going to buzz into Vaughan Ontario and wreck havoc on you boys, and then continue onto the rest of the tournament taking your opportunity away from you. Robert, is there anything you want to say?

Robert Saints: Team America, huh, that name seems a little too pro-American and that will be all the difference whether you win or lose matches across the world because you see not everyone in the world likes America. So when they see Team America, you automatically flick that switch in their minds, oh yeah I hate America unlike us. Storm and I we chose a more generic name but for a better reasoning, We are The Extreme Thrillers and we thrill crowds across the world with our Extreme style of wrestling that makes other upcoming superstars want to be Extreme like us and Thrill their masses of fans.

**Andrew Storm walks away from Elizabeth and Robert Saints, he walks over to the back step of the house, and sits down for a moment. He seems to be thinking about his childhood memories of the home.**

Andrew Storm: It doesn’t matter which of the other teams manages to make it to the second round or even the final round. My partner and I are going to be the team that walks out of the tournament as the winners. I know some of the other guys are going to bring up the fact that we have not been a team that long Robert, but you as much as I know that the time that we have been a team, we have been training and are ready to prove ourselves to everyone right Robert.

Robert Saints: Right Andrew, I might not have been in many tag team matches in my career but that doesn’t mean I don’t know how to wrestle a tag team match. Seeing as how growing up I would watch numerous tapes of the Worlds greatest tag teams and learn a thing or two from them but none will ever teach me as much as I learned from DX.

Andrew Storm: Everyone this season I am sure has seen that I am on a losing streak for most of the season, but as of late I have been changing that. Like not this past week at the Eddie Guerrero tournament but when I faced off against Wilko, no one expected me to win that match but I did. My partner has also been on a little bit of a losing streak, but we both are going to change that when we win the Vaughan tournament.

Robert Saints: I know there are numerous talent and high up people who think that The Extreme Thrillers are going to lose in the first round. The thing you guys don’t seem to understand or see is that when Andrew and myself are in the same ring, we compete to see who is the better tag team partner thus bringing out the best in both of us. So this match will be no different as we hit our most popular moves, The Devil’s Kick, The Straight To Hell, The Destroyer Bomb and The Storm’s Eye. They will guarantee us the victory not just in our first match of the tournament but all three rounds of the tournament.

**They here someone moving around inside the house, Andrew knowing that no one is supposed to be here tells Elizabeth to stay back. While Robert Saints and Andrew Storm makes their way into the house, all of a sudden inside of the house the lights goes completely off. A huge noise can be heard inside of the house as if there is a fight going on, a few moments later the lights come back on as Robert Saints connects to someone with The Devils Kick. The scene ends as the other person falls back onto the floor, and Andrew Storm and Robert Saints comes back into the scene with a huge smile on their face.**

Well, with 2009 approaching the ol’ finish line, you’ll start seeing lots of year-end wrap-up lists and things. And since it’s the end of the Double-0 Decade, you’ll be seeing lots of decade recap lists as well. (Some early spoilers: Pitchfork has crowned Radiohead’s Kid A the best album of the Double-0s, while the NME favors Is This It by the Strokes.)

But you won’t find that here, and not now. No, here you will find a year-end recap that dares to be somewhat different. This is the first-ever Listen Up! Year-End Awards ceremony – or you can just name them the Harleys after the adorable little trophy I’m giving out to the winners.

Let's see the Academy beat THIS one.

The fun begins after the jump!

All right, let’s get this show on the road! Bring on the first award!

Most Ridiculous Album Art of the Year

First, let’s have a look at the runner-ups…

Brooke Hogan, The Redemption

Um, wow. This looks like the kind of thing that some Dungeons & Dragons nerd might have airbrushed on the hood of his car back in 1987. I don’t even think people do that anymore. Also, that album title… don’t you have to screw up a successful singing career before you can make a comeback album called The Redemption? Quick, name the last time you heard a Brooke Hogan song. And VH1 doesn’t count.

Adam Lambert, For Your Entertainment

If Aladdin Sane went to the neighborhood mall, got some Glamour Shots photos taken, and then scanned the most ridiculous pose into his computer so he could Photoshop it poorly and add ugly ‘80s hair-metal logo fonts… well, the result still wouldn’t look as stupid as this album cover.

I must give this guy props for letting FYE sponsor his album title, though. If I ever get a record deal, I’m changing my name to Sam Goody and recording an album of techno-pop called Circuit City. The critics will call it a “best buy” even though it will basically sound like a cheesy ripoff of MGMT. Or Weezer’s “Can’t Stop Partying.” You decide.

Chris Brown, Graffiti

What’s the worst crime he commits with this thing? Carrying a guitar even though I’m pretty sure he doesn’t play? Borrowing Adam Lambert’s cheesy-looking font? The pseudo-outer-space scene in the background? The robot hand holding a spray can? No… it’s those ridiculous cartoon characters in the corner that earn this one its WTF status.

And the Harley goes to…

Shwayze, Let It Beat

What the hell is going on here? It looks like they tried to spoof the famous shot of the Statue of Liberty at the end of Planet Of The Apes. Only here, the statue’s been decapitated and dismembered. And she’s wearing a bikini. And she has speakers where her boobs are supposed to be. And her iPod is plugged into her belly button. And she’s apparently visiting the set of Miami Vice.

Most Awesomely Ridiculous Album Art of the Year

And the Harley goes to…

Weezer, Raditude

Just look at it. I mean, what else could you expect for an album that got its title from the guy who plays Dwight on The Office and called Ellen Page “homeskillet” in Juno?

Funniest Song of the Year

And the Harley goes to…

Theory Of A Deadman, “Hate My Life”

I still can’t figure out what to make of this song. On one hand, these lyrics are hilarious: “I hate that I can’t tell/When a girl’s underage/You know, I tell her she’s a nice piece of ass,/Then her daddy punches me in the face.” On the other hand, the singer sounds so sincere that it’s like he really wanted people to relate to this.

If it’s meant to be funny, then it’s a clever parody of angst-ridden post-grunge radio rock – you know, like Theory Of A Deadman’s other songs. If it’s not meant to be funny… well, that just makes it funnier, doesn’t it? And the acoustic version of this song, believe it or not, is even funnier. Unintentionally funny things are always funnier than things that are supposed to be funny. That’s why The Number 23 is the funniest movie Jim Carrey’s made this entire decade. Even with some strong competition from Weird Al, there was no way this wasn’t going to Theory Of A Deadman.

Plus, is it just me, or does the lead singer kind of sound like the guy who sings the songs in Team America?

Biggest Pop Star of the Year That I’ve Still Never Heard Of

And the Harley goes to…

Justin Bieber

I don’t have a clue who this guy is. I don’t know where he came from, and I have no idea whether or not he’s connected to the Disney Channel (the most likely cause for such a meteoric rise to fame). All I know is that he’s suddenly everywhere, I am clueless as to why, and I don’t really care either.

Most Inexplicable Attempt At A Singing Career

And the Harley goes to…

Heidi Montag

Apparently this girl from The Hills has been trying to get a music career off the ground for a while now. So far it has been greeted with the same enthusiasm people reserve for trees falling in the forest that they aren’t around to hear. But bless her heart, she keeps on trucking.

And hey, if this singing thing doesn’t work out, she could always pose for Play… oh, wait. She did that already. Never mind.

Runner-Up: That woman from Real Housewives who sang “Tardy For The Party”

Most Shocking Musical Controversy of the Year

And the Harley goes to…

Britney Spears vs. Australia

What do you mean Britney Spears doesn’t sing live? I for one am absolutely appalled that she lip-syncs! We made Ashlee Simpson a freaking pariah for pulling the same stunt on Saturday Night Live; now people wouldn’t buy her albums if you gave them away for free! You mean to tell me people will actually pay their hard-earned money to watch a singer who pretends to sing?

“If you’re shocked that Britney was lip-syncing at her concert and want your money back, life may continue to be hard for you.”

– John Mayer

For me, the controversy is not about Britney lip-syncing. Much like Mr. Mayer, I’m shocked that people are still shocked about this. Have the Aussies not been paying attention for the last ten years? Come on, Australia. Britney’s been lip-syncing since day one. I don’t even think that’s her real speaking voice. There’s probably someone sitting outside in an RV talking into a headset microphone or something.

Best Supergroup of the Year

And the Harley goes to…

Them Crooked Vultures

And in a stunning upset, Them Crooked Vultures takes home the Harley over… well, how many supergroups actually came out this year? There was Chickenfoot, Monsters Of Folk, and… uh…

I’m only half-kidding about this. Maybe I’m kind of biased since this band features Josh Homme (Kyuss, Queens Of The Stone Age) on guitar and vocals, Dave Grohl (Nirvana, Foo Fighters, lots of other bands) on drums, and John Paul Jones (Led Zeppelin) on bass. It’s kind of hard to go wrong with a lineup like that. If you like classic rock like Zeppelin or Cream, or if QOTSA’s Songs For The Deaf ranks among your favorite albums, or if you play an instrument, or if you like rock music in general, you’ll probably like this band.

Runner-Up: Monsters Of Folk

Most Baffling Music Video Trend of the Year

And the Harley goes to…

NSFW VIDEOS

I’ve never been a fan of censorship, really. That’s why if I ever come up with an idea for a TV show, I’d want it to be on HBO – because they let you do pretty much anything you want. Yet for some reason, this recent trend of NSFW music videos has taken me by surprise. Truly, Rule 34 of the Internet (“If it exists, there is porn of it – no exceptions”) continues to reign supreme.

Would you like to watch Rammstein porn (“Pussy”)? Do you think it would be funny to pretend another person’s penis is a microphone (Girls, “Lust For Life”)? Have you ever wanted to see Wayne Coyne naked (the Flaming Lips, “Watching The Planets”)? Well, guess what? All of these videos have been made just for you. But be warned – what has been seen… cannot be unseen.

Runner-Up: Everything Lady Gaga has ever worn. EVER.

Best Non-Existent Album of the Year

And the Harley goes to…

Radiohead, Wall Of Ice

It must have been interesting to be a member of Radiohead in the days leading up to August 17, 2009. Someone had recently leaked a new song called “These Are My Twisted Words” and the Internet was suddenly all abuzz about a mysterious new EP called Wall Of Ice. This despite the fact that nobody in the band had ever said anything about the leak, the new song, or anything they were planning for August 17. No blog posts on Dead Air Space, no news updates on At Ease Web, no interviews, no press releases, no nothing.

Yet all of a sudden everyone was convinced that Wall Of Ice was coming. After all, this was the band who released In Rainbows pretty much out of nowhere nearly two years earlier. Were they about to pull the same trick again?

Well, no. As it turns out, the Wall Of Ice EP existed only in Internet rumors. And the mysterious event set for August 17? The official release of “These Are My Twisted Words.” Somehow, without even doing anything at all, Radiohead had managed to pull off perhaps the biggest hoax since Orson Welles’ War Of The Worlds broadcast. But if “These Are My Twisted Words” is any indication, Wall Of Ice would have been pretty kickass. And Pitchfork would have given it at least an 8.5 out of 10.

One last Harley award to give out, and then we can all go home! Now, this one may be the last, but it’s certainly not the least. And anyone who’s paid attention to any award shows over the past few years will agree that this is a pretty big award.

The Kanye West Award, for excellence in the field of being Kanye West

And the Harley goes to…

Kanye West

Well, duh. At least now he won’t be throwing any fits backstage (or onstage) about how he should have won something.

Sing Along, F— Yeah!!!

For anyone who likes puppets and cursing in public here’s an event for you. The confusingly located 92nd Street Y in Tribeca is hosting a participatory Team America screening.

Step 1: watch this video and memorize the explicitly complex lyrics.

Step 2: Invite your inebriated friends and relive your college days.

BUY TICKETS: Team America: World Police Sing and Swear Along.

And to get you in the mood, have a gander at this great photo gallery from the ridiculous movie here. You can see the puppetology, strings, and explosions in motion stopped glory.

More Absurd: @absurddelight

“The East is Red!  Mao Zedong has appeared in China!”  Substitute “Barack Obama” for Mao in the old propaganda tune and you have today’s China.  The president landed here Sunday, greeting a country with 5,000 years of history, a booming economy, a powerful military, and the world’s largest population.  Barack Obama met a phenomenon as big as he is.

How is the president’s star, dimmed a little at home, playing around the world?  The international community has done its best Sadie Hawkins date routine: coy, contradictory, and playing hard to get.  In Copenhagen, the world eliminated the president’s hometown in the first round of Olympic bidding.  Days later, he won the Nobel Peace Prize.  What should Obama expect out of a relationship with China?

Any questions about the significance of the president’s China trip must reflect feelings in both countries.  The question, “What does China mean to Obama?” can be hashed and rehashed in the U.S.  From here in Beijing I’ve been doing some legwork on this problem:  “What does Obama mean to China?”

The Chinese people I spoke with were young and well-educated, but diverse enough in life experience to reflect the most general views of the Chinese people.  What emerged from my conversations were observations about America’s global role, hope for the future, and above all, a cautious optimism about Barack Obama.

Several Chinese students were especially taken with Obama’s personal qualities.  One called him “an ideal American,” and a “passionate leader.”  Lu Yao, a student at Beijing Foreign Studies University, called him “persuasive” and “influential,” adding, “About his ability of leading a country, I believe it’s beyond doubt.”

“Most people use news reports and newspapers,” to hear about Obama, Lu told me.

“Is the coverage positive or negative?” I asked.

“Both, but more on the negative side.”  The cautious side of cautious optimism emerged.  I asked why coverage was more negative.

Lu said, “because he promised to do a great amount of things, but he only achieved some of it.”   Another student echoed this: “I really do not know enough yet…he hasn’t done enough or said enough to show how he is different from Bush.”

Much of the Chinese level of awareness of Obama emanates from America’s strong global position.  Lu Yao said Sino-American relations were good “because America has greatly influenced Chinese people’s way of thinking.”

“In what way?”  I said.

“Big news in America is big news of the world.”

I wondered aloud whether this was beneficial or harmful.

It cut both ways, he said.  “I think positive relations could bring good things to China…Negative relations could bring bad things to China.”

“Any specific bad things?”  I asked.

He sat in silence.  I finally asked the question hanging in the air.

“War?”

He paused.  “That is the most severe one.”

This recurring cautious impulse was tempered with the optimistic hope that a great opportunity has arisen.  The Chinese people I talked with shared many concerns Americans do.  There were “broader areas,” one said, where America and China could cooperate.

“I hope Obama comes up with a lot of ideas…climate change, jobs, economic relations,” a young woman named Emily told me.  These are the “broader areas” that President Obama may ask the Chinese to help him address.  If the president wants China’s help, he may have a deep well of hope and possibility to draw from.

“Chinese people like him,” Emily said.  “Chinese are excited about Obama because if Obama is able to be elected President of America, then anything’s possible.”

I asked Lu Yao whether this was true.

“To some degree maybe she’s right…the attitude carried by America is quite important because America influences international attitude changes.”  The image of Team China/Team America, tackling the world’s problems together, was appealing.

Of course there are obstacles.  China’s environmental degradation is impeding its economic growth, as is income inequality.  The world does not accept China’s human rights record.  Elements in Tibet and Xinjiang provinces continually agitate for more autonomy.  Crucially, there are right-wing elements within the U.S. pushing for an antagonistic stance toward China.

Despite these issues, from the view here in China, progress seems likely.  I was repeatedly presented with Chinese cautious optimism.  It was a healthy dose of skepticism toward Obama’s stated goals, moderated by a sense of possibility in a country where building the Great Wall, the Three Gorges Dam, and the world’s biggest parade float is all old news.

China is ready to hear President Obama.  There’s a door here, 1.4 billion people wide, standing open to cooperation.  It won’t be without obstacles and setbacks.  But if there is any time and place for change we need, the place is China, and the time is now.

I think I’m probably not very good at this patriotic Veteran’s day thing.  But then, I listen to Trey and Matt too much.

“I think a line has been crossed sir” – me to Warchalking, earlier this morning.

I write this journal by the light of the silvery moon, close to the summit of a volcano, on a tropical island that is literally nowhere, wearing a sweat drenched pink cotton t-shirt and matching pink sweaty hot pants. Everyone else on the ship seems to keep a journal, so I thought that I would try too.

My life in the last two weeks has been something of a blur, and gets blurrier with every passing day. From my scientific research on the trash island, to the position of Company Secretary, from a kickball match I instigated, that ended with us escaping into the jungle, to yesterday morning seeing my two ex-colleagues shot dead before my very eyes. It seems like only a few days ago that for the first time ever I actually felt “useful”. Now I just feel very, very scared.

Every time I close my eyes I see Hilary and Harrison and replay the incident in my mind, wondering if there was something I could have done differently. They are standing in the grove, pulling brightly coloured fruit from a tree at the edge of the volcano, both dressed in the same black uniforms as the little Tharkey kid. They smile when they see me and laugh about the hot pants. We shake hands. And then a small black bloody hole appears in Hilary’s forehead and he collapses to the floor. I hear the gunshot, like my brain is playing catch up with my eyes. Harrison’s face turns to me, contorted with confusion and he drops to his knees as a second shot is fired. The bullet exits his head above his right eye shooting a bright red tear of blood across his face, and he folds like a rag doll. I turn on my heels and run.

It’s hard to know what to say about them. We didn’t work together long, assigned by the same organization from different branches to carry out the tests. Two weeks camping in amongst the trash beneath the Pacific stars. I wish I’d gotten to know them better, stopped and asked them more questions about their lives instead of being so busy all the time. But I can’t help myself. I wonder if they have wives and children back home. I wonder if I’ll make it out of this alive so as I can call our head office and tell them what has happened, even though I don’t really know what has happened.

Darkness fell at the end of our second day walking and we stopped an hour from the lip of the volcano’s crater. After splitting from “Team Fifeclub” at the edge of the jungle, our “Team America” doubled back through the trees in search of Flowpoetry, but he was nowhere to be seen. The idea that one of our crew is missing in the jungle on this mysterious island, while a psychotic rifle-toting madman is on the prowl, and a posse of machete-wielding islanders are hunting us down, seems to bother me a lot more than the rest of our group. For all the Flower Company are generally pleasant and without question the most interesting people I have ever met, their flagrant disregard for one another’s safety is something that appals me. Personally, I thought locating Flowpoetry should have been top of our list of priorities, but the rest of them insisted that we press on with the mission to steal this map and find the Plum Necklace. I find it strange the bizarre collective belief in this story that Smally has spun about a magical artefact that is somehow going to miraculously right everything that is so wrong. Even if such a necklace existed, and we somehow survive to find it, it won’t bring back Hilary and Harrison. And if it doesn’t exist, what then? A war against the Plum Islanders? I played paint ball once at a stag-do and spent the entire afternoon hiding in a hole until someone found me and shot me repeatedly.

I worry as well about Warchalking. He smokes so much that he even made us take a detour yesterday that set us back hours to visit a section of jungle where towering grass plants grew. He chain smokes these pure grass joints and the Tharkey boy seems to hang on his every wasted word. The fourth member of Team America is this Jon of the Atom fellow. I find him to be quite the precocious individual. Sullen and withdrawn one minute, and then full of beans the next, niggling me while we climb by singing lines from a Doors song “Five to one baby, one in five, no one here gets out alive…” If I’d had my way I’d have gone with Team Fifeclub. I’m sure they’ll be at the top by now.

The east face climb has been treacherous to say the least, and damn hard work. Several times we’ve had to turn back on ourselves after finding precarious ledges that wither to impossible dead ends. Free climbing has never appeared on any list of things I’d like to do before I die, and at this rate there is every chance that I’m never going to get a chance to do the things I would like to do. If I live to see the other side of this misadventure then I promise the first thing I’ll be doing is enrolling myself for trumpet lessons.

The thing that is bothering me the most though, is the feeling that we’re being watched. Thankfully there has been no sign of old McLymont and his rifle, but every now and then I get the horrible sensation that something, or someone knows exactly where we are and is crawling along in our footsteps. And yet whenever I look back down the steep rocky slopes we are climbing, all I see is emptiness and chalk it up to a combination of hot sun and paranoia. There is no doubt that if Vink really has gotten a posse together then they’ll already be scaling the volcano in pursuit. Real or not though, the sensation persists.

So perilous has the climb become, that we have stopped for a second night. The air is much cooler this high up and we huddle together in the crevice of jagged ledges. Even Jon seems subdued, picking at the leftover husks of fruit that we brought and have already consumed. Warchalking has told us that at first light we’ll be making the final push for the top. Who or what awaits us is anyone’s guess, but I suspect that whatever it is, it’s not going to be much fun. Nights like this you find yourself wishing that people like Becky and Simon had come along – they at least have a sensibility about them that drags the feet of madness making it impossible to fully topple over the edge. But with Smally and Warchalking spearheading this mission, I cannot help but feel like we are doomed. With the best of intentions, our Not Captain seems to be leading us from disaster to disaster, always trying to unpick a previous knot while getting more and more tangled in insanity. And as for Warchalking, well, the word “unpredictable” doesn’t even come close to explaining how unpredictable he actually is.

I sleep tonight with a heavy heart, wondering if this journal entry in a paper notebook might very well be my last.

S. O’Flanahanaman

Oh, we need a montage…

Game 6 is in nearly 10 hours

Odata cu amanarea mixtape-ului Team America prezentat de Dj Skee , Bishop nu dezamageste si mai arunca poporului inca o piesa ce va face parte de pe acesta , Team America: Fuck Yeah (Special Forces) featuring Indef produsa de Dready Beats .

Via: Bishop Blog .

friday henri bendel’s open-see : casting call for designers//artists.  be the next anna sui!

saturday 11-6 : brooklyn’s home show ! early holiday/any shopping w/these desginers.  then suddenly seymour!  a little shop of horrors sing-along at 92Y-Tribeca : heck yes.  $13 for movie + beer.  short notice? don’t fret – team america + spinal tap are next in the sing-along series

feed me

sunday first go to p.s.1 fall exhibitions opening between noon and 6 then head down to brooklyn for greenpoint oktoberfest! bratwurst! better than the renaissance fair!

rain or shine

or ROAD TRIP up to Boston + if you live there, even better!

i am a proud member of the {NewNew} ! <but i won't be in b-ton>

and if you cannot stand to leave the island of manhattan be sure to check out the 19th annual tompkins square park halloween dog parade @ noon <that’s the rain date and they’ve called it now> highlights from last year . . .

grouchy the dog

iWoof

]]> http://thinningtheherd.wordpress.com/2009/10/20/19-michael-bay/ Tue, 20 Oct 2009 23:06:03 +0000 thinningtheherd http://thinningtheherd.wordpress.com/2009/10/20/19-michael-bay/

Species Name:  Gratuitous ADDcrappymoviemakerus

Why is it that every time this no talent ass clown farts out a movie, it makes a gazillion dollars?  Look, I love going to the cineplex for a good, mindless, action movie with lots of stuff blowing up as much as the next guy.  In fact, one of my favorite movie theater experiences of all time was going to see Snakes on a Plane, so you can rest easy knowing I am no movie elitist.  That being said, Michael Bay’s movies are so bad, that even the low budget knock offs of his movies are better than the ones he directs (with the exception of his one non-shit movie, The Rock, which is pretty fucking badass). Actually, come to think of it, it’s one of Nicolas Cage’s only non-shit movies as well…and now I have another person to thin from the herd.  Tough job but someone has to do it.  I digress.

Michael Bay is on the top of my shit list at the moment because his crapfest, Transformers 2, just got released on DVD.  Now we can all relive this two and a half hours of life that we will never get back. I’ll be honest, I hated the first Transformers.  Terrible acting, even worse directing, and during the battle scenes, I couldn’t tell if the Autobots and Decepitcons were fighting or raping one another.  Too much metal on metal loving for me.  So fine, that movie sucked, and I accepted that there would be an equally crappy sequel to follow because that’s the way Hollywood works:  “You keep making us a lot of money, and we’ll keep making your movies” (i.e. Saw).  But fuck me, I don’t think anyone saw the absolute celluloid shit stain that is Tranformers 2 coming.  For the crimes against quality film making, Michael Bay, you are sentenced to be thinned from the herd.

In a world where Michael Bay didn’t exist to substitute explosions for a lack of story in movies:

• Filmmakers given the astronomical budget of a Michael Bay movie, would actually be able to churn out a decent film, instead of wasting all that money on gratuitous explosions:

• The men who died at Pearl Harbor would never have had to turn over in their graves when Bay’s disgraceful depiction of the attack was made.
Sadly, Team America: World Police would never have been made, having no Michael Bay to make fun of.

Megan Fox would’ve stayed an unknown, struggling actress and eventually turned to porn which, come on, is where we all want to see her end up anyway…
• We’d be spared  terrible remakes of fantastic horror films (i.e. Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street)
Slow motion would be used sparingly in films and only when proven to be effective instead of at every, and I mean every, single moment in a Michael Bay movie.

• Music video directors would hopefully realize that some people are destined to only direct music videos, like Bay should’ve done, and Brett Ratner.
• Directors will realize that montages aren’t always awesome, and sometimes, they are downright lazy:

• Never again will a man so obsessed with helicopter shots at sunset exist:

• We would never have been graced with this scene of cinematic brilliance:

I’m a big believer in the idea that some movies are “so bad they’re good,” like the aforementioned Snakes on a Plane and John Rambo.  However, Michael Bay’s catalog of work most certainly falls into the category of being “so bad, they make you want to skin yourself alive and jump into a pool of hydrogen peroxide.”  If Michael Bay had only chosen to become a pizza delivery boy instead of a craptastic filmmaker, I probably wouldn’t hate him as much, and wish death upon him.  Instead, we have Transformers 3 to look forward to…where’s that pool of peroxide?

But one has to have dreams right?

Nicht aus der Bahn bringen lassen

Gerry Dart (37 Jahre alt – Angestellter bei der US-amerikanischen Raumfahrtbehörde NASA) sang mit seinem Sohn, dem kleinen Kevin Dart (7 Jahre ), auch an jenem 3. Juli 2005 „Der Mond ist aufgegangen“. Nach der vierten Strophe löschte er das Licht der Nachttischlampe. Da  hörte er, wie der kleine Kevin ganz leise weinte. „He, Cowboy“ meinte der große Dart, „gibt’s noch was?“ „Ach“ schluchzte der kleine Dart, „ich habe Angst. Morgen schießt ihr doch den Kühlschrank auf den Tempel.“. – Der große Dart lachte „Machst du dir Sorgen wegen dem Knall?“ Er knipste das Licht wieder an. Der kleine Kevin füsterte: „Ich weiß nicht, was Grampa dazu gesagt hätte“. Der Großvater war schon lange tot und, wie Mom immer sagte, im Himmel. „Vielleicht ist der Tempel ja zornig auf uns wegen der Sache mit dem Kühlschrank“. „He Cowboy“ meinte der große Dart. „Der Kühlschrank knallt so gewaltig auf den alten Tempel, dass nichts davon übrigbleibt“. Eine Stille trat ein im Kinderzimmer. „Aber das ist viele Millionen Kilometer von Springfield entfernt. Uns kann dabei nichts passieren“ fuhr der Vater fort. Der kleine Kevin gab sich noch nicht zufrieden. „Darf man das denn machen?“ fragte er schüchtern seinen Vater. Der schob sich das Basecup mit der Aufschrift „Team Amerika“ in den Nacken  und sagte: „Wir dürfen das, denn wir haben die Verantwortung und müssen die Welt retten vor jeder Gefahr. Deshalb tun wir alle diese Dinge“.

Der kleine Kevin faltete seine Händchen und schlief nicht ganz ohne Sorgen ein. Es träumte ihm, der Asteroid „Tempel one“ (4,3 Milliarden Jahre alt) erschiene in der Sonntagsschule „Dein Vater kann es nicht besser wissen“, meinte der Geshweifte gütig. „Sie vermischen Hollywood immer mit Unabhängigkeitstag und den Urknall mit ihrer eigenen Maßlosigkeit. So was tut man einfach nicht. Es ist unanständig. Es gehört sich nicht. Es zeugt von ganz schlechtem Geschmack.. Von Kulturlosigkeit würden die Europäer sagen. Schon diese Erklärung: Ein Loch groß wie ein Fußballfeld. Solche Bilder gebrauchen die, deren Horizont so groß ist wie der Deckel einer Colaflasche“. Der Asteroid wandte sich zum Gehen. „Hab keine Angst mein Sohn“, sagte er zum Abschied mit gütiger Stimme. „Von dem Kühlschrank ist wirklich nichts mehr übrig. Wenn ich mal auf eure Erde pralle, bleibt von mir auch fast nichts übrig. Aber ich stelle mich euch nicht in den Weg, sondern ziehe ruhig und Gott ergeben seine – also meine – Bahn“.

„Halt“, rief der kleine Kevin dem Tempel nach: „Was kann man denn gegen so ´nen schlechten Geschmack machen?“  Die Antwort lautete: „Nicht soviel Cola trinken! Nicht all die Wopper fressen! Und MTV ausschalten“. Also sprach der Komet. „Danke“ sagte der kleine Kevin. „Ich will es mir ganz gewißlich merken“.

f e d e r h a l t e r

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Ha, klasse Beitrag. Ich finde es auch schrecklich, damit die Wissenschaft immer solche Riesenprojekte macht. Und damit verballern die ein Haufen Geld und das könnte man besser benutzen. Ich glaube nicht, dass man  Kometen und Astroiden abschießen kann. dazu sind die zu groß. Und wenn ein Asteroid auf die Erde prallt ist sowieso alles aus. Aber es wird nicht kommen, die Wahrscheinlichkeit ist sehr klein. Sonst wäre es schon in den letzten paar Mill. Jahren passiert. Aber noch was, – die Europäer würden genau dasselbe machen. Es ist nicht nur in Amerika diese Kulturlosigkeit. Das gibt es auch hier schon lange bei uns.

Seid gegrüßt Dark Vader

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Man sollte sich genau überlegen, ob man die Grundlagenforschung der Astrophysik auf so einfache bzw. simple Weise verunglimpft. Es gehört nun einmal zum menschlichen Forschergeist eo ipso dazu, dass er sich über Grenzen hinwegsetzt und diese Grenzen weiter hinausschiebt als bisher bekannt gewesen ist. Es ist auch für den Glauben der Christen nicht unerheblich, wenn wir Aufschluß darüber bekommen, wie und auf welche Weise das Weltall entstanden ist. Der Artikel von  f e d e r h a l t e r ist nicht dazu angetan, das schwierige Problem zwischen Glauben und Naturwissenschaft in einer anspruchsvollen Weise zu beschreiben. Es geht auch nicht um den Kühlschrank, resp. den Impaktator, sondern um den Asteroiden, der nach seinem Entdecker Tempel benannt worden ist. Es handelt sich also nicht um einen Tempel, sondern um einen amorphen Steinhaufen aus den ersten Tagen der Schöpfung. Einen solchen Steinhaufen wird man doch wirklich einmal attackieren dürfen?

Dr. Paul Weder (Greifswald)

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Sehr geehrter Herr Dr.Weder,

ich nehme Bezug auf ihre eben geäußerte Meinung im World Wide Web. Ich kann mich nicht mit Ihren Darlegungen zufrieden geben, zumal sie mir äußerst verkürzt erscheinen und einer unreflektierten Forschungs- bzw. Wissenschaftsgläubigkeit entspringen. Natürlich ist es Unsinn behaupten zu wollen, die Millionen (Dollar, nicht Jahre) die für dieses Projekt verwandt worden sind, wären besser für soziale Belange ausgegeben worden.

Es gilt heute aber wie noch nie in der Geschichte der Menschheit dafür zu sorgen, dass klar durchschaubar wird, warum manche Forschungsprogramme gestartet werden und welche wirklichen Interessen dahinter stehen. Im Falle des Impaktator-Projektes scheint es eine ungute Verknüpfung von quasireligiösen und militärrelevanten Implikationen zu sein.

Peter Noch (Ilmenau)

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He, Ihr Eierköppe – was streitet ihr hier über Pee-Nuts?  Die Sache liegt ganz klar. Das ist alles von den Multinationalen Konzernen eingefädelt. Die sitzen in ihren großen Firmengebäuden und lachen sich kaputt über die Begeisterung der Leute „all over the World“. Während alle staunen und die Computeranimationen bei Maibrit-TV betrachten, wird die nächste Superwaffe öffentlich erprobt.

Siegbert Müller

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„Navigare necesse est“ liebe Leute! Damit ist klar, worum es geht. Seit dem Sündenfall ist der Mensch zum Erkennen verdammt. Ob er will oder nicht. Es gibt kein Zurück unter dem Baum der Erkenntnis des Guten und des Bösen. Denkt ja nicht, dass es einen Ausweg aus der Gentechnik, der modernen Waffenentwicklung und den Wirtschaftsveränderungen gibt, die noch auf uns zukommen. Wer sich dagegen stemmt beschleunigt das alles sogar noch. Oder endet in der Lächerlichkeit der Amish-People. Ich finde es gut, was unsere amerikanischen Schwestern und Brüder da gemacht haben. Hut ab vor soviel Präzision und Know How. Ich denke, der NASA-Vater Gerry Dart hat das am nächsten Morgen dem kleinen Dart-Kevin alles richtig gut auseinandergesetzt und auch seiner Mom. Und Amberball wird es, wenn er´s drauf ankommen lässt, am Ende auch verstehen. Dazu braucht es keine lange Predigt.

Herzliche Grüße Wolfgang

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Ich bin der Meinung von Kevin. Es verbietet die Ehrfurcht vor der Schöpfung auf einen Kometen zu schießen. Das würde ich mir nicht trauen.

Nicole

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Man soll nicht Ehrfurcht haben vor der Schöpfung sondern vor dem Schöpfer!!!!

Vera

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Die haben auf den Kometen nicht geschossen. Die haben den Kühlschrank einfach ausgeklinkt oder stehen gelassen, – so wie man einen Koffer stehen lässt.   Auf dem Bahnsteig etwa mein ich. Das darf man. Wenn der Komet dann draufbrummt – is halt seine Sache.

Sven

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tut mir leid, dass ich so ne Lawine losgetreten habe. Es ist nicht so richtig meine Meinung sondern die von Kevin und seiner religiösen Erziehung, die er ja von seinem Vater hat. Wie wir alle. Die von Kevin ist nicht die schlechteste übrigens …

f e d e r h a l t e r

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Was ist denn dann deine Meinung? Hast Du eine?

Amberball II

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Die Postings sind hier alle gelinkt.

Ein Beobachter

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Längst nicht alle!

f e d e r h a l t e r

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Amberball, – gibt’s schlechte Gottesdienste?

Verkündiger

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Was soll das mit den Gottesdiensten? Hier geht es doch um einen kleinen Jungen, der Angst hat. Man muß keine Angst haben vor der modernen Wissenschaft. Die Kollegen haben einen größeren Verantwortungshorizont als der Komet meint. Also größer als ein Cola-Bierdeckel.

Dr. Peinlich

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Hallo, endlich ist mal was los in diesem lahmen Kirchenforum. Übrigens besonders wichtig scheint mir der versteckte Hinweis auf dem Basecup des Vaters zu sein, wo ja „Team America“ drauf steht. Hat diesen genialen Film jemand von Euch gesehen? Die machen ja wirklich alles kaputt. Sogar den Eifelturm und die Sphinx. Und das Ende ist so, dass unsere Besorgnis echt berechtigt gewesen ist.

Lisa

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Die Kirche hat sich immer gegen die Wissenschaft gestellt. Erst die Armbrust. Dann die Blitzableiter. Dann G.Bruno. Finsterstes Mittelalter also auch heute noch. Wir können so viele Kometen bombardieren, wie wir wollen. Schließlich bombardieren die uns auch. Denkt nur an den Tunguskuer Meteoriten 1908 in Sibirien. Das war eine kolossale Aktion der Aliens. Weiß bis heute nur keiner.

L.Kervelan

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„Team America“ ist einer der genialsten Filme, die es gibt. Ich sehe ihn mir oft an und man entdeckt immer neue Aspekte. Die Simpsons (wo laufen die im Augenblick gerade?) und Southpark sind auch von den Filmemachern um Matt Groening, der hat auch bei TA mitgemacht. Besonders Flanders und Reverent Lovejoy sind Spitze  – noch mehr die Frauen von beiden. Die total naive Religiosität der Fundamentalisten kommt so richtig gut raus dabei.

Crusty

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Mr. Burns ist auch nicht schlecht mit seinem Atomkraftwerk.
Angela Merkel wird die Atomkraftwerke hoffentlich nicht stilllegen.

Simson-Fan

Stilllegen wird anders geschrieben.

Duden

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Still-Leben

Die Kirche hat nichts gegen die Wissenschaft. Im Gegenteil. Die Kirche hat die Wissenschaft über Jahrhunderte lang betrieben. Die Klöster haben die Medizin vorangebracht und das Wissen der Antike in das der Neuzeit umgeformt und transformiert. Wer sagt, die Kirche sei Wissenschaftsfeindlich, der hat keine Ahnung.

Yvonne

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Tut mir leid, das ich Angst hatte. Aber was würde der kleine Prinz von Exepery dazu sagen? Der will bestimmt auch nicht, dass ein Loch in einen Kometen geschossen wird.

Kevin

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Hi Leute schaut mal auf: Da ist ein Forum über die Sache mit dem Tempel One-Kometen-Abschuß. Es scheint, als ob da einige Ungläubige sich zu sehr verbreitern, vielleicht könnt ihr Euch mit mir qualifiziert zu Wort melden.

Heliand

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©  f e d e r h a l t e r

Not satisfied with bombing the shit out of other nation states ‘Team America’ has just spent $79 million to ‘bomb’ the moon in the name of science. America, fuck yeah!

Update. This article points out a child dies every 8 seconds from contaminated water. How far would $79 million go to solve that problem?

Before the race I had no idea finding a proper internet connection would be so difficult. In the least, I was hoping to tweet my way through via phone. I didn’t get a chance at a phone neither.

Because of this slight miscalculation most of my updates ended up being bunched together and at one point I tried to summarize what we’d been going through during those internet less days. Hence the somewhat erratic update timeline (side notes are italicized):

Took jetlag 2 the face.broke rickshaw 3 times.almost killed group of small children & the RUN dont start for another hour. (I broke the rickshaw 3 times. Hiroki kept reminding me of this throughout the trip.)

Leaving Colva, Goa in about an hour. It looks like we’re heading east with a bunch of folks, then north toward Jaipur. Holler! (I’m not sure anyone really knew where they were going.)

Alive by just a hair. tearin it up through india on the Rickshaw. in Indore. Agra in 2 days. changing name 2 indiana jones after coppin whip. (This was actually on day 5, first time since Colva that we were able to go online.)

Day 1: Goa-Belgaum 120km. H: drives thru dealthly hillside excuse for road. me: night time city driving. Note to self: drive on Left. (To which @Rak35h replied: “left, right, center…does it really matter?? J” -Had no idea he was so right!)

Took a detour to Jaipur then took a day off. Feels so good!!! Heading to Agra tomorrow.

In Agra. Taj Mahal tomorrow morning. 5:30am #rickshawrun (Things REALLY went downhill from here. By now we just wanted to get the hell out of India.)

Btw India is HOT.AS.HELL #rickshawrun

Day 2:Belgaum-Pune: highlight=Mcdeez. downhill from there. would not eat 4 26 hrs. rickshaw hijackd. almost beat down on indian hustlers. (After this, we regularly pulled 12-15 hour breaks without any food. Would not recommend it.)

Day 3:Pune-Ellora caves: amazing. that’s all. (Some Indiana Jones isht) #rickshawrun (Amazing!!!)

Day 4: Ellora-Dhule:straight up driving. battery down drove w/o battery/lights/horn (like driving w\o right arm). #rickshawrun (You are truly helpless and defenseless without a car rickshaw horn in India.)

Day 5:Dhule-Indore:250km. highlight:bought used battery for 150Rps. Paid mech 90 2 install. (First major repair on the Rickshaw. The other one would be the required tune-up. The mechanic was a real O.G.)

Day 6:Indore-Jhalawar:rocky road. 300Rp @ Hotel Purvaj. 300 for dinner/no menu = best meal evar!!! #rickshawrun (One of the best nights days of the trip.)

Day 7:Jhalawar-Jaipur:prairies turned 2 desert. Tune up=250Rp. from 500Rps. Haggling=key. night driving = scariest shit evar. (We haggled for everything after this. Mainly out of principle.)

Day 8:Jaipur. took day off & toured Jaipur=goodness. runing outta camera batteries = fail. everyone thinks I’m Indian by now #rickshawrun. (One of the coolest spots we hit and the one with the least pics.)

Day 9: long boring drive, until Taj Gangj=craziness. lotsa beers=help=happiness. havnt showered in 2 days. =) #rickshawrun. (Wouldn’t shower till the next morning but I blame Agra, easily the most polluted city I‘ve ever been to in my short life.)

Days 10 & 11, which didn’t have any updates, would’ve gone like this:

Day10:Agra-Locknow: 430 kms longest most boring drive ever. Too many hours without food+night city driving=almost killed each other. (Hotel Ellora in Locknow is the sucks. Almost punched hotel clerk.)

Day11: Locknow-Sunauli: stopped by a cop. out 50rps ea. Note to self: don’t stop for cops. Air finally breathable around the border. (We got stopped twice. The second time they decided to waive us through w/o a bribe.)

Day 12: We made it!!! in Pokhara. #rickshawrun (I wish I could say that everyone had been as lucky.)

The #rickshawrun officially over. no more rickshaw. party tonight. Pokhara is awesome!

Hmm… so where do I start? how do I explain this #rickshawrun to run to anyone?

Right before I left the home, I remember telling a friend that I’d be able to keep everyone updated day-to-day, down to the minute, because India is the land of technology. I mean, even their curry comes with a side of wi-fi…

So much for that.

It has been a week and two days since Hiroki and I reached Pokhara, Nepal, and eight days since we last saw our trusty companion. Hell, half of Team America (World Rickshaw Runners) is back in Miami by now. It’s hard to believe, but after 12 days of maniacal driving, all we have left is the well impregnated memories (and photos) of what happened and you could say it all happened in the bat of an eye. Now that I have proper internets (here in Thailand) I’ll try my best to do some sort of recount of what happened. Twitter updates and all. With photos.

En una entrevista concedida al canal de televisión Sky TV, el director Quentin Tarantino dio a conocer cuáles eran, a su parecer, las mejores 20 películas realizadas en los últimos 17 años, o sea, exactamente los mismos que él lleva en la profesión.

La lista que os presentamos a continuación sigue un orden cronológico, aunque de entre las cintas enumeradas Tarantino destaca por encima de todas ellas a “Battle Royale”.

¿Qué opináis de sus preferencias?

POLICE STORY 3 Stanley Tong, 1992

El mayor cártel de extorsión y tráfico de drogas del Pacifico opera sin descanso y a sus anchas. Kevin Chan (Jackie Chan) es el unico agente con el coraje y astucia suficientes para infiltrarse en esta organización criminal y acabar con el gran capo de la banda. En esta dura misión no estará solo: le acompañará su nuevo jefe, una mujer tan atractiva como atrevida, y, como él, buena conocedora de las artes marciales.

MOVIDA DEL 76 (Dazed and Confused) Richard Linklater, 1993

Linklater retrata el último día de clase de unos adolescentes de un instituto en 1976. Una fiesta de cerveza, marihuana y novatadas para un día único tanto para los jóvenes que se marcharán para siempre como para los novatos que llegan.

SPEED Jan de Bont, 1994

Jack Traven (Keanu Reeves) es un intrépido policía de Los Angeles. La supervivencia en esta ciudad para un agente de la ley no es tarea fácil, pero Jack, además de disfrutar de una reconocida buena suerte, conoce perfectamente los trucos para sortear el peligro. Sin embargo, su buena estrella se va a afrontar a una dura prueba cuando queda atrapado en un autobús urbano que lleva instalada una bomba programada para explotar si el vehículo disminuye su velocidad a menos de 50 millas por hora. Empieza así una loca carrera por la ciudad, con Jack intentando dar confianza a la joven pasajera (Sandra Bullock) que ha sustituido al conductor, herido en el “secuestro”.

TODO EN UN VIERNES (Friday) F. Gary Gray, 1995

A Craig (Ice Cube) le han echado del trabajo, presuntamente por robar, y su único plan para el día del viernes es pasarse las horas en el porche de su casa con su amigo del barrio Smokey (Chris Tucker), cuya única dedicación es fumar marihuana. A lo largo del día se encontrarán con momentos y personajes variopintos como el Pastor Clever (Bernie Mac) o Big Worm, un camello al cual le debe dinero Smokey. Pero el peor de todos es Deebo, un tipo con mucho músculo y poco cerebro que tiene atemorizado al barrio.

BOOGIE NIGHTS Paul Thomas Anderson, 1997

Eddie (Mark Wahlberg) es un joven que sueña con ser actor cuando le descubre Jaca Hormer (Burt Reynolds), un director de cine porno que considera su trabajo como una forma de arte. Eddie se cambia el nombre por el de Dirk Diggier y se sumerge por completo en el estilo de vida y las relaciones de la industria del porno de los últimos años 70.

DAO (THE BLADE) Tsui Hark, 1995

Después de la dimisión del jefe de la fábrica de sables Sharp Manufacturer, se decide nombrar sucesor a On, un trabajador poco popular e incapaz de imponerse sobre sus colegas. Entonces comienza una aventura llena de venganza que tiene como objetivo acabar con el malvado maestro del kung fu que mató a su padre.

AUDITION Takashi Miike, 1999

Un cuarentón viudo, a propuesta de un amigo, convoca un casting para una inexistente película con la intención de encontrar una nueva esposa, pero se embarcará en una relación donde las torturas y el dolor físico formarán parte de su vida.

EL CLUB DE LA LUCHA (Fight Club) David Fincher, 1999

Jack (Edward Norton) es un personaje insomne y desesperado por escapar de su fatal y aburrida vida. En un viaje en avión conoce a Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt), un carismático vendedor de jabón con una filosofía muy particular; Tyler cree que el perfeccionismo es para los débiles y que es la destrucción de uno mismo lo que realmente hace que la vida merezca la pena. Jack y Tyler forman un club de lucha secreto que se convierte en un éxito arrollador.

EL DILEMA (The Insider) Michael Mann, 1999

Jeffrey Wigand (Russell Crowe), científico y directivo de la famosa tabacalera norteamericana Brown & Williamson, descubre el secreto celosamente guardado por la industria tabacalera sobre las sustancias que crean adicción en los fumadores. El productor del programa 60 minutes, Lowell Bergman (Al Pacino), arriesga su carrera para poner frente a las cámaras a Wigand, que ve como su vida entera se viene abajo al revelar la verdad a la opinión pública. Nadie saldrá indemne en esta enfurecida batalla de la lucha contra la industria del tabaco. Nada volverá a ser como antes.

MATRIX (The Matrix) Andy y Larry Wachowski, 1999

Un programador pirata (Keanu Reeves) recibe un día una misteriosa visita… Nada más se debe contar de la sinopsis de Matrix. Es más, si todavía no la ha visto, no deje que nadie le cuente qué es Matrix. Porque gran parte del éxito mundial de esta fascinante y entretenidísima película se basa en su original guión, asombrosa idea producto de la era tecnológica en la que vivimos. Si a ello le unimos su revolucionaria estética -con espectaculares y trepidantes escenas de acción nunca vistas en el género-, tendremos el porqué de la consagración de esta deslumbrante cinta fantástica como el mayor film de culto de final de siglo.

JOINT SECURITY AREA Park Chan-wook, 2000

Los cadáveres de dos soldados norcoreanos son hallados en el “Área de Seguridad Compartida” que separa las dos Coreas, aparentemente asesinados por un soldado surcoreano. Corea del Norte lanza la acusación de que el suceso se debe a un flagrante ataque por parte de Corea del Sur, mientras que Corea del Sur mantiene la acusación del secuestro con final trágico por parte de sus vecinos del norte. Para investigar el caso se destina a la zona a una oficial del Departamento de Inteligencia Militar suizo que es de origen coreano. La oficial comienza a investigar y el caso se convierte en un misterio, ya que hay 16 balas en los cuerpos, y del arma del soldado sólo pueden haber salido 15.

BATTLE ROYALE Kinji Fukasabu, 2000

En el amanecer de un nuevo milenio, el país está al borde del colapso. Millones de personas vagan sin empleo. La violencia en la escuela está descontrolada y adolescentes rebeldes protagonizan boicots masivos. El gobierno contrataca con “Battle Royale”. Cada año, una clase es escogida al azar para que se enfrente, en una isla abandonada, a un cruel juego de supervivencia.

EL PROTEGIDO (Unbreakable) M. Night Shyamalan, 2000

El impacto se produjo a las 15:15 horas. El primer vagón quedó partido en dos y salió volando en direcciones opuestas. El segundo resultó aplastado y arrastrado durante más de un kilómetro. Se encontraron restos en un perímetro de kilómetro y medio. Seis miembros de la tripulación iban en el vagón de mercancías. Ciento dieciocho personas y siete tripulantes viajaban en el tren de pasajeros. Sólo se ha hallado un superviviente: David Dunn (Bruce Willis). Elijah Price (Samuel L. Jackson), un misterioso desconocido tiene una explicación, bastante extraña, que justifica por qué David ha salido sin un solo rasguño del accidente.

TODO LO DEMÁS (Anything Else) Woody Allen, 2003

Woody Allen es un artista neoyorkino que no encuentra la forma de tener éxito. Su protegido, Jerry Falk (Jason Biggs), es un aspirante a escritor incapaz de dejar atrás todo lo que le atormenta: un agente (Danny de Vitto) que sólo le tiene a él de cliente pese a lo cual no le hace ni caso; una suegra con la que convive, metidos en un apartamento de 40 metros (Stockard Channing). Jerry se enamora perdidamente de una joven de espíritu libre llamada Amanda (Christina Ricci), pero pronto aprenderá que estar enamorado de la impredecible Amanda le traerá más quebraderos de cabeza que otra cosa.

DOGVILLE Lars von Trier, 2003

La hermosa fugitiva Grace llega a la aislada localidad de Dogville huyendo de una banda de «gangsters». Persuadidos por las palabras de Tom, que se ha erigido en portavoz de la pequeña comunidad, sus integrantes se avienen a ocultarla, mientras Grace, en justa correspondencia, acepta trabajar para ellos. Sin embargo, cuando Dogville sea sometido a una intensa vigilancia policial para dar con la fugitiva, sus habitantes exigirán un acuerdo más favorable, que les compense del peligro que corren al darle cobijo. Grace aprenderá, de un modo brutal, que en este lugar la bondad es algo muy relativo. Pero ella guarda un secreto que no quiere desvelar.

LOST IN TRANSLATION Sofia Coppola, 2003

Bob Harris (Bill Murray)  es un conocido actor norteamericano cuya carrera ha decaído últimamente. A cambio de una generosa remuneración, acepta participar en un anuncio de whisky japonés que se va a rodar en Tokio. En su visita a Japón, experimenta un considerable choque cultural, por lo que pasa la mayor parte del tiempo libre en su hotel. Precisamente en el bar del hotel conoce a Charlotte (Scarlett Johansson), una mujer de veintitantos años que está casada con un joven fotógrafo de renombre. Éste se encuentra en Tokio cumpliendo un encargo profesional y, mientras trabaja, su mujer distrae el tiempo como puede. Además del común aturdimiento ante las imágenes y los sonidos de la inmensa ciudad, Bob y Charlotte comparten el descontento con sus vidas. Poco a poco se hacen muy amigos y a medida que exploran la urbe juntos empiezan a preguntarse si su amistad se transformará en algo más.

MEMORIES OF MURDER (CRÓNICA DE UN ASESINO EN SERIE) Bong Joon-ho, 2003

Provincia de Gyunggi, Corea del Sur, 1986: aparece el cuerpo de una joven brutalmente violada y asesinada. Dos meses después, se produjeron una serie de violaciones y asesinatos en circunstancias similares. Y en un país que nunca antes ha conocido semejantes atrocidades comienza a tomar cuerpo la idea de un asesino en serie. Se organiza un destacamento especial para la zona, encabezado por el detective de policía local Park Doo-man y un detective de policía procedente de Seúl, Seo Tae-yoon, que ha solicitado ser asignado al caso. Sin embargo, la resolución de los asesinatos parece cada vez más lejana, sumiendo a los detectives en un estado de creciente desesperación. La película está basada en una historia real.

TEAM AMERICA WORLD POLICE Trey Parker y Matt Stone, 2004

Team America, una policía mundial encargada de mantener el orden y la estabilidad en el mundo, se entera de que un ambicioso dictador está repartiendo armas de destrucción masiva a los terroristas. De los creadores de “South Park”.

ZOMBIES PARTY (Shaun of the Dead) Edgar Wright, 2004

Una comedia romántica… con zombies. Llega un momento en la vida de todo hombre en el que ha de levantarse del sillón y matar unos zombies. La vida de Shaun (Simon Pegg) es un callejón sin salida. Se pasa la vida en la taberna local, “The Winchester”, con su íntimo amigo Ed (Nick Frost), discute con su madre y descuida a su novia, Liz (Kate Ashfield). Cuando Liz le deja plantado, Shaun decide, finalmente, poner su vida en orden. Tiene que reconquistar el corazón de su novia, enmendar las relaciones con su madre y enfrentarse a las responsabilidades de un adulto. Pero, por desgracia, los muertos están volviendo a la vida, y tratan de devorar a los vivos. Para Shaun y su nuevo entusiasmo, esto es simplemente un obstáculo más. Enfrentándose sin cuartel a una epidemia de zombies, armado con un palo de cricket y una pala, Shaun, llevando a Ed a remolque, emprende el rescate de su madre y, a regañadientes, el de su padrastro, el de su novia y, todavía de peor gana, el de los amigos de ella; David (Dylan Moran) y Dianne (Lucy Davies), y los lleva a todos al lugar más seguro y protegido que conoce: “The Winchester”.

THE HOST Bong Joon-ho, 2006

Los habitantes de Seúl observan sorprendidos un extraño objeto que cuelga de un puente sobre el río Han. El objeto es, en realidad, una monstruosa criatura mutante que al despertar devora a todo aquel que se cruza en su camino. Entre tanta destrucción, la criatura mutante rapta a la hija del dueño de un quisco que vive felizmente a la orilla del río. Mientras el ejército fracasa una y otra vez en la destrucción del monstruo, este hombrecillo anónimo y su familia intentan recuperar a su hija.

Briony 

The return of the Cooper! Jon Cooper comes back to the podcast to have a chat about Adventureland. Tom and Sam have a think about (500) Days of Summer and the gents all think about the YouTube rental model. They go on to reminisce about Hackers, praise Fish Tank to the hills and have a good ol’ natter about Supernatural. The conclusion sees Tom depart and Producer John step in to talk about music in movies.

Download The Movie Overdose Episode 34

Show notes coming in later post.