Now for the first part of the waffle, Holly Willoughby has got her boobs our and wearing a wrestling belt and Reggie has forgot his tie. Jessie has stupid Mickey Mouse style hair. Danny tells us he has nothing in his pockets. Now they are doing a head count. And now they are reminding us about how the show works even though they do this every week and already have on this show.

Team Jessie are up first, they are going bowling to prepare. A cheesy edited montage with black and white moments and bad magazine style font. So now for the performance, Jessie J misses her cue or the mike wasn’t on and asks to start again apologising over and over. Great start. Technical errors of course. Now let’s actually perform. They are performing We Are Young by FUN. Jessie J kicks it off sounding good, followed by Cassius who equally is good. Then Becky comes in looking like she’s been electrocuted and ruining the smooth sounding vocals.Becky is then joined by Toni who makes it sounds good again, they the team all appear together and cheerily walk on stage to 5 mike stands. They all sing and it just sounds like a poorly put together childs choir with Jessie J dominating it. Cassius has got another solo, oh now finally Vince has a line. Nice good even splitting of the song. Everyone else gets a solo again and back to poor constructed chorus. They then did a canon style overlapping singing and it was bad and I mastered that when I was like 6 at musical theatre camp. It wasn’t good.

Now we have Max performing from Team Danny. Talking about his using a loop pedal, no on cares. This is The Voice not what Danny thinks is a good idea to put in a performance to hide he has saved an average guitar singer instead of a great vocalist. Queue the generic indie performance. Trilby and the acoustic guitar say Hi. Singing Big Black Horse and the Cherry Tree by KT Tunstall. The crowd cheers as  he pushes a pedal on the loop pedal, they don’t know if it’s done anything worth while as they found out when it does come into play and cheer again. Now he’s rapping about Damien Rice. I don’t know what’s going on anymore, go back to guitar generic indie boy. (Iplayer has just broken it’s that bad) When he starting signing again it  alright but no. Holly announces that Max has just flashed her knickers to the nation, the camera wasn’t on them so we don’t know what happened, but it’s before the watershed. Bad Max! Judges getting slightly more negative finally, go Will!

Up next we have Cassius from Team Jessie J, singing Adele – Turning Tables. Some weird boxing montage to introduce him, is he a boxer? Confused. Just a man and a grand piano (and a man playing the piano), dramatic tone set! He’s wearing some strange redy, brown suit. Not a personal favourite but hey ho we know my opinion on the stylist. He sung well, a good act and I hope he gets through just cause he’s real and doesn’t hide behind cliches. Oh also he and the piano turned, cause turning tables. Okay maybe that’s a little cliche. Lucky man his height is level with Holly’s cleavage.

Up next is Bo Bruce, my favourite of my favourites. Singing Rihanna – Love The Way You Lie. I don’t really understand the hour glass behind her, i’m a champion and bull and can’t find any justification for it. I got shivers from some points but at other points I was like why has Danny chosen this song but all the judges seemed to love it so guess I’m wrong this time. Now Tom and Jessie and rhyming words with cow… relevant.

Now Vince singing My Love Is Your Love by Whitney Houston. Dressing like a douche with a backwards cap, tyedie vest and wet look leggings. The performance did make me smile though, I always enjoy his performances and he’s just different and I hope he goes through as he makes my evening. The high note with reached and he has great stage skills and knows how to command a crowd. Great performance.

We now come to Alex for Team Danny, generic jazz man. Singing Better Together by Jack Johnson. Whenever he looks into the camera I feel like he’s having sex with me with his eyes, whether this is a normal opinion I don’t know. I found the overall performance very average like it’s not a hard song to sing, and he spent the majority of the song with his hands in his pocket the sex eyes. I also didn’t get the point of Harmonica man on the stage.

Now we have Becky, I really don’t like her. She has a good voice but her personality is so unlikeable. Singing Seven Nation Army by White Stripes. Holly announces the song in a  different position with Will awkwardly smiling behind her looking confused, he obviously doesn’t like change. She straight away forgets the words and mutters some kind of swear word, maybe less bending your knees and more remembering. She then dances around the judges, more bending, points the mike at Tom who looks confused and says something that sounds like Elvis, he mutters that a lot. Then there was a lot of wailing notes then I couldn’t work out if the end line was meant to be unaccompanied or she missed the cue. A bad performance like that song is great and she made it horrible to listen to. Beckys practically hyperventilating and Tom is talking about fire.

Last up for Team Danny is David. Performing She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5. This is a favourite song of mine because I will always think of a certain person. So this better be good as I’ll be emotional. The set is like a house with lots of suitcases outside and he’s sitting on them with his guitar. Danny has really odd ideas about set. CLUELESS. He did not disappoint, my eyes welled up. His voice was so good, the powerful notes, the softer notes, they all were so emotional and if the girl he was singing about still doesn’t want him them I will!

And finally for Team Jessie we have Toni singing Sorry Seems to Be The Hardest Word by Elton John. Wearing a lovely red dress which contrasts with the white piano and background. Jessie knows how to stage something. She sings great but I don’t understand what all the weird faces and movements are for, like I feel uncomfortable watching it. But with it minimised it’s great.

Lastly we have Team Danny singing their group number, Somebody That I Used To Know by Gotye. I hate this song but I seem to like covers of it so lets see. They staged it like going through an art gallery, it made no sense. You could tell Bo hated it having to hold a sheet with the Mona Lisa on, doesn’t she have servants for that kind of thing. It was alright but like it just seemed so weird, I didn’t get the concept, the arrangements were all over. Team Jessie won this group battle easily.

Now it’s time for the results show. A cheesy tension building into with circling camera and Holly and Reggie having a fun commentary. First of all Team Tom or Leanne and Ruth perform.Singing Shake It Out by Florence + The Machine, the main thing I noticed was lots of attempted wailing notes and awkward audience members dancing cause they think they are on camera.

Jessie has stupid hair, Holly looks like some kind of very see through tonight and we are waffling on. Now to find out who is through from Jessie’s team, definitely through is Vince. This made me happy cause he’s like a guy made of sunshine making me smile.

Now Paloma Faith performs, she also makes me smile as she’s quite kooky. But we move on quickly to Team Danny and the act that is safely through is Bo! Happy. Now I want Jessie to save Cassius and Danny to save David. Now we get some montages but we go back to Jessie picking, she for some reason picks Becky which makes me sad cause she messed up.

Now we have Tyler and Jaz performing as Team Will. Singing Roxanne by The Police, another song I love. Sounding great so far, really excited for build. Will is currently standing and air guitaring on his chair. Slightly disappointed wish Tyler hadn’t gone into his falsetto for build as it was powerful enough, but overall it was awesome, the harmony at the end was outstanding. Now Danny is picking, please pick David. Say he see’s a lot of themselves in them all, well they’re all better than you. He saves Max. Stupid choice he was in the bottom before remember.

And that was The Voice! Apologise now next week might not be up till late Monday as I am in London for SLAM DUNK FESTIVAL.

Now for the first part of the waffle, Holly Willoughby has got her boobs our and wearing a wrestling belt and Reggie has forgot his tie. Jessie has stupid Mickey Mouse style hair. Danny tells us he has nothing in his pockets. Now they are doing a head count. And now they are reminding us about how the show works even though they do this every week and already have on this show.

Team Jessie are up first, they are going bowling to prepare. A cheesy edited montage with black and white moments and bad magazine style font. So now for the performance, Jessie J misses her cue or the mike wasn’t on and asks to start again apologising over and over. Great start. Technical errors of course. Now let’s actually perform. They are performing We Are Young by FUN. Jessie J kicks it off sounding good, followed by Cassius who equally is good. Then Becky comes in looking like she’s been electrocuted and ruining the smooth sounding vocals.Becky is then joined by Toni who makes it sounds good again, they the team all appear together and cheerily walk on stage to 5 mike stands. They all sing and it just sounds like a poorly put together childs choir with Jessie J dominating it. Cassius has got another solo, oh now finally Vince has a line. Nice good even splitting of the song. Everyone else gets a solo again and back to poor constructed chorus. They then did a canon style overlapping singing and it was bad and I mastered that when I was like 6 at musical theatre camp. It wasn’t good.

Now we have Max performing from Team Danny. Talking about his using a loop pedal, no on cares. This is The Voice not what Danny thinks is a good idea to put in a performance to hide he has saved an average guitar singer instead of a great vocalist. Queue the generic indie performance. Trilby and the acoustic guitar say Hi. Singing Big Black Horse and the Cherry Tree by KT Tunstall. The crowd cheers as  he pushes a pedal on the loop pedal, they don’t know if it’s done anything worth while as they found out when it does come into play and cheer again. Now he’s rapping about Damien Rice. I don’t know what’s going on anymore, go back to guitar generic indie boy. (Iplayer has just broken it’s that bad) When he starting signing again it  alright but no. Holly announces that Max has just flashed her knickers to the nation, the camera wasn’t on them so we don’t know what happened, but it’s before the watershed. Bad Max! Judges getting slightly more negative finally, go Will!

Up next we have Cassius from Team Jessie J, singing Adele – Turning Tables. Some weird boxing montage to introduce him, is he a boxer? Confused. Just a man and a grand piano (and a man playing the piano), dramatic tone set! He’s wearing some strange redy, brown suit. Not a personal favourite but hey ho we know my opinion on the stylist. He sung well, a good act and I hope he gets through just cause he’s real and doesn’t hide behind cliches. Oh also he and the piano turned, cause turning tables. Okay maybe that’s a little cliche. Lucky man his height is level with Holly’s cleavage.

Up next is Bo Bruce, my favourite of my favourites. Singing Rihanna – Love The Way You Lie. I don’t really understand the hour glass behind her, i’m a champion and bull and can’t find any justification for it. I got shivers from some points but at other points I was like why has Danny chosen this song but all the judges seemed to love it so guess I’m wrong this time. Now Tom and Jessie and rhyming words with cow… relevant.

Now Vince singing My Love Is Your Love by Whitney Houston. Dressing like a douche with a backwards cap, tyedie vest and wet look leggings. The performance did make me smile though, I always enjoy his performances and he’s just different and I hope he goes through as he makes my evening. The high note with reached and he has great stage skills and knows how to command a crowd. Great performance.

We now come to Alex for Team Danny, generic jazz man. Singing Better Together by Jack Johnson. Whenever he looks into the camera I feel like he’s having sex with me with his eyes, whether this is a normal opinion I don’t know. I found the overall performance very average like it’s not a hard song to sing, and he spent the majority of the song with his hands in his pocket the sex eyes. I also didn’t get the point of Harmonica man on the stage.

Now we have Becky, I really don’t like her. She has a good voice but her personality is so unlikeable. Singing Seven Nation Army by White Stripes. Holly announces the song in a  different position with Will awkwardly smiling behind her looking confused, he obviously doesn’t like change. She straight away forgets the words and mutters some kind of swear word, maybe less bending your knees and more remembering. She then dances around the judges, more bending, points the mike at Tom who looks confused and says something that sounds like Elvis, he mutters that a lot. Then there was a lot of wailing notes then I couldn’t work out if the end line was meant to be unaccompanied or she missed the cue. A bad performance like that song is great and she made it horrible to listen to. Beckys practically hyperventilating and Tom is talking about fire.

Last up for Team Danny is David. Performing She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5. This is a favourite song of mine because I will always think of a certain person. So this better be good as I’ll be emotional. The set is like a house with lots of suitcases outside and he’s sitting on them with his guitar. Danny has really odd ideas about set. CLUELESS. He did not disappoint, my eyes welled up. His voice was so good, the powerful notes, the softer notes, they all were so emotional and if the girl he was singing about still doesn’t want him them I will!

And finally for Team Jessie we have Toni singing Sorry Seems to Be The Hardest Word by Elton John. Wearing a lovely red dress which contrasts with the white piano and background. Jessie knows how to stage something. She sings great but I don’t understand what all the weird faces and movements are for, like I feel uncomfortable watching it. But with it minimised it’s great.

Lastly we have Team Danny singing their group number, Somebody That I Used To Know by Gotye. I hate this song but I seem to like covers of it so lets see. They staged it like going through an art gallery, it made no sense. You could tell Bo hated it having to hold a sheet with the Mona Lisa on, doesn’t she have servants for that kind of thing. It was alright but like it just seemed so weird, I didn’t get the concept, the arrangements were all over. Team Jessie won this group battle easily.

Now it’s time for the results show. A cheesy tension building into with circling camera and Holly and Reggie having a fun commentary. First of all Team Tom or Leanne and Ruth perform.Singing Shake It Out by Florence + The Machine, the main thing I noticed was lots of attempted wailing notes and awkward audience members dancing cause they think they are on camera.

Jessie has stupid hair, Holly looks like some kind of very see through tonight and we are waffling on. Now to find out who is through from Jessie’s team, definitely through is Vince. This made me happy cause he’s like a guy made of sunshine making me smile.

Now Paloma Faith performs, she also makes me smile as she’s quite kooky. But we move on quickly to Team Danny and the act that is safely through is Bo! Happy. Now I want Jessie to save Cassius and Danny to save David. Now we get some montages but we go back to Jessie picking, she for some reason picks Becky which makes me sad cause she messed up.

Now we have Tyler and Jaz performing as Team Will. Singing Roxanne by The Police, another song I love. Sounding great so far, really excited for build. Will is currently standing and air guitaring on his chair. Slightly disappointed wish Tyler hadn’t gone into his falsetto for build as it was powerful enough, but overall it was awesome, the harmony at the end was outstanding. Now Danny is picking, please pick David. Say he see’s a lot of themselves in them all, well they’re all better than you. He saves Max. Stupid choice he was in the bottom before remember.

And that was The Voice! Apologise now next week might not be up till late Monday as I am in London for SLAM DUNK FESTIVAL.

Team Will.i.Am

Jaz Ellington

Tyler James

I wasn’t surprised that Jaz got the top vote from the viewers among Will’s team. I guess his rendition of Ordinary People (which apparently brought Will and Jessie J to tears) way back during the blind auditions still had a strong-enough effect on the voters. Jaz is awesome, especially when he does those riffs and runs with his instrument, but I felt like his succeeding performances became less and less impressive. His last piece, a mash-up of Just the Way You Are by Billy Joel and that one by Bruno Mars was particularly underwhelming. I even thought that the transition of the mash up was awful! The votes must have come in from an emotional place, since he was singing it to his pregnant wife and that he felt it from the heart and everyone was crying yada yada yada. Sympathy votes are sickening.

And then we have Tyler James the bff of Amy Winehouse. It wasn’t surprising either that Will picked him over the two girls, Joelle and Frances. He has always expressed his awe of Tyler’s artistry, and maybe he’s right. The music industry today needs artists, and not mere singers. Plus, Tyler’s signature falsetto is refreshing! I prefer it to the vocal pyrotechnics of AI’s Joshua Ledet any given day.

The fearless bird forecast: Jaz is going to snag the sole slot representing Will’s Team. Tyler though, is going to have a better career. His voice and looks are more marketable.

Team Tom

Ruth Brown

Leanne Mitchell

Ruth is obviously the crowd favorite such that audience applause generally lasts 3 minutes after she performs. She has the biggest voice in the competition and she sings with much passion. I feel, however, that she still lacks vocal technique and stage presence. Maybe her belting voice makes up for everything else.

Leanne is another powerhouse, but why do I feel like her voice is pretty shaky when she belts out and sustains? It’s kind of disturbing, but Tom apparently doesn’t mind cos she picked her over my favorite duo, Matt and Sueleen! They’re a waste, really. I hope they get a career in country!

The fearless bird forecast: I am almost sure that Ruth is gonna get through, but I doubt that any of them is going to have a good career. Neither of them are artists.

It’s team Danny’s and Team Jessie’s turn next week! This ought to be more exciting! I feel like Danny has the best artists, and I would hate to see any of them go. During the blind auditions, I felt like the contestants chose Jessie the most number of times but she didn’t seem to have created best team.

The fearless bird forecast: Bo Bruce and Max Milner for Team Danny; Vince Kidd and Cassius Henry for Team Jessie