Kids are like tax attorneys:  give them a rule, and they’ll find a loophole.

My rule:  My teenage daughter is not allowed to have electronics in her bedroom.  No cell phone, no I-Touch, no internet, no cable t.v., no D.V.R. Not even a digital camera.  Why?  Because if she has that stuff in her room, she’ll never come out. 

Also, because of a 2008 study, from Stanford University, on the effect of cable t.v. and internet in teenage girls’ bedrooms. They studied 1,345 teenage girls, ages 13-17, and found that girls with cable and/or internet in their bedrooms were:

1) Likely to have significantly lower grades than girls with electronic-free bedrooms,

2) Twice as likely to use drugs and have discipline problems at school

3) Three times as likely to get pregnant during high school.

Alani has grumbled about the no electronics rule, but she accepts it.  Sort of.  Last Sunday I came upstairs and found her laying in the hallway, tucked in a blanket, just outside her bedroom door.  She’d propped pillows against the wall and was reading a book.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“It’s my bed-in-the-hall,” she said. 

Her trusty I-Touch and cell phone sat on the floor next to her.  Her hallway spot  – inches from her bedroom door – was the equivalent of those retail fireworks places that sprout up in Indiana just across the Michigan border, to evade the Michigan anti-firecracker laws. 

Well done, Alani. 

Oh, and that Stanford University study?  It doesn’t exist.  I made it up. 

Still, you know it’s true.

What is camp all about? First and foremost it is about fun, it is about offering our kids an enriching experience where they learn new skills, make life-long friends and try new things in a safe and warm environment away from home.

Elizabeth Stahl, Director
Farwell.com

Some gift ideas for your gorgeous teenage girl – as chosen by my gorgeous teenage girl.
These designs (and others) can be found at For You Designs on Etsy

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PROTECT YOUR HAIR SUBSEXY!

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We adore our First Lady Michelle Obama (a strong, intelligent, capable woman who actually wants to DO something in the White House?? Shocker!) so we’re not about to disagree with anything she says—but we would love this girl-power initiative whether Michelle gave it her stamp of approval or not.

Girls Write Now is an amazing program set up specifically for high school girls to help them develop their own creative voices through writing. From their mission statement:

Girls Write Now provides guidance, support, and opportunities for New York City’s underserved or at-risk high school girls, enabling them to develop their creative, independent voices, explore careers in professional writing, and learn how to make healthy choices in school, career, and life.

On November 4th, Girls Write Now was awarded the 2009 “Coming Up Taller Award” by The First Lady and the President’s Committee on the Arts and Humanities.

We can’t even express how cool we think this program is. Both Girl T and myself have always been avid readers and writers throughout our lives but we were also fortunate enough to have good teaching and schools afforded to us. The idea of a young girl not only getting a mentor but a mentor that encourages her creative ability is amazing.

We personally think one of the hardest things facing teenage girls today (of ANY race or economic class) is finding their own voices and developing a personality independent of the peer pressures surrounding them. And that’s even harder if you’re not getting the attention you need and deserve from the adults in your life. Learning to listen to  your own thoughts by putting them down on paper is an invaluable skill—and it’s no surprise to us that the girls coming out of this program are succeeding tremendously. From the Girls Write Now website:

For the past five seasons, 100 percent of mentees who have completed our program as seniors have been accepted into college, many with significant scholarships.

Amazing! Major kudos to founder and executive director Maya Nussbaum, all the mentors, and all the mentees involved in the program. We heart you!

Visit GirlsWriteNow.org for more information.

i came across this in a facebook note and, is it just me, or would this be the most clingy and annoying boyfriend ever? i’ve added commentary. =P

When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tough
Kiss her and tell her you love her
This would be fucking annoying. I’d probably slap him and swear at him some more.

When she’s quiet
Ask her whats wrong
I’m just not in a talkitive mood, mr. paranoid.

When she ignores you
Give her your attention
Trust me, this is the opposite of what she wants.

When she pulls away
Pull her back
Forceful, much!

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she’s beautiful
This one’s okay. So’s the next one.

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don’t say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
Personally, I would hate this. Unless I really loved the other person, no surprise spooning please. 

When she’s scared
Protect her
Isn’t this a given?

When she steals your favorite hoodie
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
I wouldn’t steal your hoodie, so no need to sigh and give it up reluctantly.

When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn’t answer for a long time
reassure her that everything is okay
I would be really confused by this. Perhaps I’m just busy studying, no need for reassurance.

When she looks at you with doubt
Back yourself up
“Hurrr! I’m so great!”

When she says that she loves you
she really does more than you can understand
Unless she’s a thirteen year old girl. She doesn’t really love you.

When she grabs at your hands
Hold her’s and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you;
bump into her back and make her laugh
Football!

When she tells you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does
God, this is sappy. Then again, when you’re 13/14/15, this is too much altogether.

When she says it’s over
she still wants you to be hers
…No, actually. She just wants you to go away.

When she reposts this bulletin
she wants you to read it
So you can be the best emotional, sensitive, paranoid, and clingy boyfriend in the world! 

 I am not an Oprah fan…..

I used to be one of those big Oprah fans and dedicated supporters who loved the show and everything else affiliated with Oprah Winfrey. I was proud to see a strong, black woman rise up from a troubled childhood and climb the ladder of success, but in recent years my support of Oprah has dwindled tremendously. I don’t watch her show and I wouldn’t even consider picking up an issue of  her magazine. But this blog post is not about the various reasons I no longer support the Big O. This blog post is about Oprah’s continued support of singer BeBe Winans even after he was accused of physically assaulting his ex-wife in February of this year. It is about Oprah speaking publicly about her disdain for Chris Brown after his altercation with Rihanna, but still remaining bubbly and friendly with BeBe Winans as if one abuser is better than the other. Abuse is abuse regardless of who the abuser is.

BeBe was arrested, as was Chris Brown. Both men were taken to jail for a physical act of violence against a woman. Oprah, in my opinion handled the Chris Brown situation from a judgmental point of view. She not only spoke her opinion on the situation, but she also did an entire segment on Domestic Violence; a subject that the Big O didn’t appear to give a damn about before the Chris Brown and Rihanna incident.  Yet, in the case of BeBe Winans, who is one of Oprah’s favorite singers and close friends, she seems to have a innocent until proven guilty view of the situation. Even after the arrest and a pending court appearance, BeBe Winans will be hosting Oprah’s Karaoke Challenge which will air November 5, 2009.

Of course Oprah can befriend whomever she likes. She can have anyone on her show that she chooses, but I seriously do not believe that Oprah would allow Chris Brown to host a podcast, nonetheless a portion of her show.  Her actions when handling both of these situations just seems hypocritical and biased. Whether it be a push, which is what BeBe Winans was accused of doing, or a full out attack as in the case of Chris Brown, domestic violence is wrong.

If you are going to speak out on domestic violence and take a stance against it, do so without being biased. Do so without approaching the situation as a victim supporter and an abuser trasher…unless the abuser is your close friend. Don’t  look at it with a different set of eyes and speak on it with a different voice just because he is a gospel singer and a close friend.  That, Oprah is hypocritical.

 With the celebrity status that Oprah Winfrey has, she of all people should know that there are three sides to every story. Neither Oprah nor the rest of the world was in the car with Chris Brown and Rihanna, neither were we witness to the incident that occurred between BeBe Winans and his ex-wife Debra Winans. With that being said, we are not aware of the full details of either incident.

Oprah is quoted as saying in relation to the Chris Brown & Rihanna incident:

Love doesn’t hurt. And if a man hits you once, he will hit you again

If that is your belief, apply that to every abuser Oprah, not just Chris Brown. Please don’t get me wrong, I feel that the show was very beneficial. It not only gave the issue of domestic violence a louder voice, but it spoke about and to a group of people who are becoming victims of domestic violence far too often, teenage girls.

I just feel that efforts to end domestic violence should; provide awareness of the issue, assistance to victims and help for the abusers. You can’t have one without the other, if the cycle of violence is to be broken.

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When it comes to the life of a teenage girl, fashion is of primary concern. Whether it is in school, hanging out with friends, or going to the mall, teenage girls are surrounded by fashion. Magazines instruct on all of the various trends and television ads are overflowing with products to buy, shoes to wear, and new clothing lines. It’s enough to make a teenage girl’s head spin. Here are some basic fashion tips that will help ensure that every teenage girl is not only looking her best, but feeling her best as well.

First, everyone agrees that there is a strong message being sent to teenage girls that they need to be pencil thin. It is important to realize that as a teenager, you are still growing. Your body has not finished developing and your teenage years are not the time when you should be attempting any fad diets. The images that are displayed in fashion magazines have been airbrushed and every fashion model will tell you that they do not look exactly as they appear in magazines. Tyra Banks is a good example of that.

The first fashion tip to be addressed is that of your weight and body image. You must be careful not to engage in crash diets, or practices that will have a negative impact on your health. Eating right, exercising daily, and avoiding harmful substances such as tobacco, drugs, and alcohol is the primary foundation for your fashion success. Accept who you are, and learn to love the body that you are in; you will be with your body for a lifetime, lean to praise it, not punish it and you will find that your fashion will accessorize and enhance your body.

Drinking water is crucial to ensure that your fashion is a success. Having the best clothes, and most expensive shoes means little if your skin is pale, or your complexion is pallor. You should drink at least 8 glasses of water daily to stay well hydrated. Some teenage girls mistakenly believe that if they drink too much water they will bloat and look overweight, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, it is due to a lack of water that teenage girls bloat. It is the body’s attempt of holding on to water when it has been deprived. So if you are worried that you won’t fit into your favorite pair of low riders if you drink too much water, think again.

When it comes to fashion, hair and makeup is key. During your teenage years, you may struggle with your complexion. Acne, breakouts, and combination skin are very common complaints during the teen years. Your hormones are still adjusting and going through many changes, and this unfortunately may wreak havoc on your skin. If you are struggling with your skin and trying to keep it blemish free, then you may want to see a dermatologist. There are many remedies today that will effectively treat acne and breakouts. Also, be sure not to overindulge in spicy or greasy foods as these have a negative impact on the skin. Again, drinking the recommended amount of water daily will help flush your skin and keep it clear.

If you aren’t sure what hairstyle is best for you, then you should consult with a professional hair stylist. Professional stylists will give you a free consultation to discuss options such as hair color, cut, and help you choose a style that best compliments your face shape. Call ahead to schedule a consultation and make sure that it is free. When you have found the hairstyle that best suits your face, body structure, personality, and lifestyle make sure to ask your stylist to show you how to maintain the style at home.

If you have figure flaws that you are not comfortable with, you can easily camouflage those parts while accessorizing parts that you are pleased with. The key to true fashion is to find your strengths and enhance them. If it is your eyes, then wear eye makeup that enhances them and shows them off. If you have great legs, then you may prefer styles that accentuate them. Everyone has features that they are well pleased with, and learning how to accept your body, while highlighting your favorite features is key to making any fashion statement a success.

I really want to see An Education, the new movie based on the memoir of the same name by Lynn Barber, directed by Lone Scherfig, and adapted for the screen by Nick Horny.

The story seems interesting enough, about a 16 year old girl named Jenny in 1960s England with a normal mum and dad who’s working hard at her studies with plans to go to Oxford. And then she meets an older man, played by Peter Sarsgaard, who sweeps her off her feet with romance and the jet set travels of his swinging friends and leads her slowly down the path to ruin and the eventual growth into a woman. There’s more to that, much more, but I’ll spare you the details unless you’re truly interested.

First thing you should know, impressionable ladies of any age: Stay the fuck away from Peter Sarsgaard. He just looks like he’s out there to scoop up impressionable young girls.

But in all seriousness, the real reason I want to see this movie, besides the fact that it just looks good and has been getting incredibly positive reviews, is it’s lead, Carey Mulligan.

Ah…

I’ve only been lucky enough to catch her in a few things here and there, but she’s always come off as a young actress of grace and intelligence. And there’s an adorableness factor that’s truly undeniable. But all that ties into the fact that in one instant she can seem so young, so painfully, beautifully young, full of innocence and wide eyed wonder of the world, and then she can turn in an instant, those large eyes quivering with sadness, and then turn again, staying in the realm of adulthood, moving from the sadness to the joy of growing up. And she does it all with something that I never honestly thought I’d ever find in a living human being: grace.

I should also add, since I am a nerd, that I originally caught her in an episode of Doctor Who, the classic “Blink,” which I would highly recommend not only as an excellent piece of science fiction storytelling, but because it’s a stand alone episode, featuring solely Carey Mulligan’s one off character, the unstoppably inquisitive Sally Sparrow, girl detective, as she faces off against a mysterious mansion and one of the scariest bit of creatures (it is almost Halloween, after all) you’ll ever see: The Weeping Angels.

To say more would be criminal, but I’d give my highest recommendation to that episode, written by the genius Steven Moffat (set to take over the reins of Doctor Who early next year) and Carey Mulligan’s performance in it especially. She not crafts an energetic and intelligent young character who loves a good mystery, but she manages to create a role you fall in love with instantly. It’s a joke I make quite frequently on this site, but I’d truly give just about anything to see a spin off with her character in it (as opposed to the bisexual Nigel Kneale ripoff that is Torchwood on it’s better days).

Carey Mulligan is only 24 and already has a wide variety of film and television roles under her belt. Other than An Education now, she’ll also appear in the Natalie Portman/Tobey Maguire/Jake Gyllenhaal remake of Brothers, as well as Oliver Stone’s Wall Street 2 and Mark Romanek’s adaptation of Kazuo Ishiguro’s Never Let Me Go.

Nick Hornby, who you of course know from his earlier works like High Fidelity and About A Boy, and who adapted the autobiographical memoir by Barber into An Education, also has a new book about called Juliet, Naked. And I hear it’s actually pretty good.

“She’s a suburban girl who’s frightened that she’s going to get cut out of everything good that happens in the city. That, to me, is a big story in popular culture. It’s the story of pretty much every rock ‘n’ roll band,” said Hornby about the character in the book version of An Education. Interesting the way he frames that, but when asked about the actual writing of a teenage girl, as opposed to just a man who’s whole live revolves around music and quim, Hornby said, “I think the moment you’re writing about somebody who’s not exactly you, then the challenge is all equal. I was glad that everyone around me on this movie was a woman so that they could watch me carefully. But I don’t remember anyone saying to me, ‘That isn’t how women think.’”

If not stopped, I could potentially post pictures of Carey Mulligan here forever.

Taxes turned into sex on the beach.

Gram slipped my bikini top off and sucked on my nipples. I felt out of control. My tax attorney then slipped in hand down through my legs and took me to a new more wet level. It was his turn.

I bent down and grabbed his cock with my tongue. I licked it like I was licking an ice cream cone. I sucked on his crown and he moaned. Then I took it down deep and sucked it hard.

Thanks Mr. Tax man for the inspiration. I’m cumming back next year.

She bent over with her luscious boobs and ass that is outstanding and has the width a man looks for. She snorted the line of cocaine. I snorted next. My boobs not as big and ass not as large, but hot all the same. Different girls, me a blonde next door, her a Persian goddess.

High, we slipped into bed together. We giggled and talked for a while. She told me stories from Iran, and then her move to Germany. We kissed and played with each other. She had a orgasm out of this world, I never knew.

Then she went down on me. This was glory. I became a wet mess in no time, she licked me clean, all the filth away. We have school in the morning, so we did another line to giggle to and kissed each  other good night. She is a naughty girl. So am I.

Sitting on the chair, he grabs me. My pants are off and he forces his hand into my vagina, one finger at a time. I’m angry, confused, but I’m wet. It’s like broken glass, but it feels good.

His chiseled face looks down at me and he bites my neck. It hurts. I cry out for help, but no one hears my screams. I want him anyways. I want to fuck him in every way, though he’s hurting me.

He grabs my neck and chokes me. I can’t breathe and feels even better as he penetrates me. His force and lust is powerful. I clench.

She was nude as she slipped out of her pool wildly manic, mid day, mid week, and ran her hands down her long brunette hair to expunge excess water. Her body was tanned and her mind began to race at the idea of Sean, her neighbor who just moved in. Her jade eyes dilated, and she laid down on a chair and under the sun slipped her hands below her firm thighs, and she began playing with her sensitive to the slightest touch area of her feminine body. She grabbed her nipples and tightly squeezed them feeling a rush, she moved her breast up higher and to feel the wetness, licked her nipple. She couldn’t handle it any longer, and she clenched the sides of her pool chair, her legs fumbled under the heat and contact.

She walked in through the back sliding door, a widow she was now, she put on her red Christian Dior stiletto’s and still naked walked into the kitchen wear she opened the freezer and slammed some vodka. She needed attention, and she felt her nipples rise in the coolness of the large house she lived alone in. Her psychiatrist stayed over last night, that was nice. The sex was amazing, like nothing she had ever felt before, it was probably the fact she was sleeping with a man who is her professional psychiatric doctor and knows all the things no one should, and that’s bad, your not supposed to sleep with your doctor.

After thinking over last night, she thought about Sean, the neighbor. With no thought she walked back out through her sliding glass door and trough the woods like Eve only she was in red heels and not in Eden, but it was green. She came out the other side of the wooded barrier and perched her leg and heel onto a rock. Through two large oak trees she watched Sean unload grocery’s; she was still dripping wet.

Then she noticed the gardener and his back muscles with his shirt off near the side of the house, and a dilemma had formed.