It seems that a lot of individuals are conscious of their teeth and of how they appear. On nearly every magazine cover we see beautiful, perfect, sparkling white toothed smiles. It seems that perfect teeth are practically the only feature we notice when seeing someone good looking. Rarely does a magazine cover show someone with off colour, badly bad teeth.

==> Click here to learn how to whiten your teeth at home

Trust me there’s very little worse than being too embarassedto grin or laugh for fear of showing off poor teeth. Several times I’ve wanted to try to cover my teeth by my hand because I was aware that my teeth were unsightly. This isn’t because I have bad teeth but was because over the years my teeth had become stained. Lots of people believe that teeth that are not bright white are not healthy.

The fact is that there are differing colours of teeth right from very cream to whitest white and coincidentally the colour is not indicative of the health of the teeth. However we seem to want to have whiter teeth and for most individuals, that’s attainable, providing you know how.

There are four things which should assist anyone to dramatically brighten the shade of the teeth and if individuals stick to these there is no doubt there ought to be a large improvement.

TIP 1
Try to follow as healthy and balanced a diet as possible. Include plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables. Also, even more importantly, ensure you actively avoid taking or doing anything that will further stain your teeth. Such things as tea or coffee add to the staining of the teeth as does smoking. It’s important that people act to avoid worsening the situation and then change your eating and/or lifestyle choices to keep their teeth as white as can be! A balanced diet which is also low is important both for the appearance of the teeth and also their health . In an ideal world individuals should clean the teeth after eating to stop sugar and bacteria to build up in the mouth. While this will not always be possible it is a very good idea to establish the habit of brushing the teeth in the morning and last thing at night at least. Use a really good brand of toothpaste and clean well for about three minutes each time. Talk to the dentist about cleaning technique as that is important too – a dentist ought to be able to demonstrate to you the easiest way to cover the whole mouth (tooth area).

TIP 3
After brushing it’s also a very good idea to floss. This is done by using floss between the teeth to remove any foodstuffs which cleaning hasn’t been able to dislodge. The longer such debris stays between the teeth the more likely it is to do harm.

Tip 4
Any healthy diet should include lots of fluids especially water. Again this helps to wash away any food debris which may have got stuck in the teeth and will also help to cleanse the mouth totally.

Good oral hygiene will go a long way towards preventing ongoing tooth staining and may often assist in restoring teeth to a brighter colour. Remember that teaching our children from a very early age to have good dental hygiene will stand them in good stead throughout the years.

She Had Some Horses

She had some horses.

She had horses who were bodies of sand.
She had horses who were maps drawn of blood.
She had horses who were skins of ocean water.
She had horses who were the blue air of sky.
She had horses who were fur and teeth.
She had horses who were clay and would break.
She had horses who were splintered red cliff.

She had some horses.

She had horses with long, pointed breasts.
She had horses with full, brown thighs.
She had horses who laughed too much.
She had horses who threw rocks at glass houses.
She had horses who licked razor blades.

She had some horses.

She had horses who danced in their mothers’ arms.
She had horses who thought they were the sun and their bodies shone and burned like stars.
She had horses who waltzed nightly on the moon.
She had horses who were much too shy, and kept quiet in stalls of their own making.

She had some horses.

She had horses who liked Creek Stomp Dance songs.
She had horses who cried in their beer.
She had horses who spit at male queens who made them afraid of themselves.
She had horses who said they weren’t afraid.
She had horses who lied.
She had horses who told the truth, who were stripped bare of their tongues.

She had some horses.

She had horses who called themselves, “horse.”
She had horses who called themselves, “spirit.” and kept their voices secret and to themselves.
She had horses who had no names.
She had horses who had books of names.

She had some horses.

She had horses who whispered in the dark, who were afraid to speak.
She had horses who screamed out of fear of the silence, who carried knives to protect themselves from ghosts.
She had horses who waited for destruction.
She had horses who waited for resurrection.

She had some horses.

She had horses who got down on their knees for any savior.
She had horses who thought their high price had saved them.
She had horses who tried to save her, who climbed in her bed at night and prayed as they raped her.

She had some horses.

She had some horses she loved.
She had some horses she hated.

These were the same horses.

~ Joy Harjo

“Toddlers love to watch themselves, so put a small mirror up in the bathroom above the basin where your toddler can see himself brushing his teeth. This really helps to get the teeth brushed, plus it’s a fun way to learn about teeth.”

–Dawn N.

“When your baby starts to teethe, peel a cold pear and give it to her to chew on. It helps with her teething and is a healthy snack. It also promotes a healthy relationship with solid foods, because she can play with it. Messy play is essential for healthy development.”

–Ashleigh W.

It’s official, Iggy has started teething.  Six weeks ago we were sure his pearly whites had started their descent from the gum line, but it was either a false alarm or they decided to scamper back to the safety of their home and plan a better orchestrated attack.  Well they’re back, ruthless and taking no prisoners.

The first sign was the drooling:

Simultaneous drooling while sleeping. He must get that from my side of the family.

Then he started poking his tongue out his mouth 90% of the time he was awake:

The red cheeks are a dead giveaway that bubs is teething.

Same tongue, different day

Then came the thumb sucking:

Little does he know his Mom sucked her thumb until she was at least 8 years old.

So we decided to give him a rusk to chew on:

Almost......

And....Touchdown!

For those of you not fluent in babyspeak, a rusk is defined as:

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Apparently this teething thing can last until bubs is 3 years old, so we’ve got a LONG way to go.  Until then, it looks as though we better arm ourselves with an arsenal of rusks, paracetamol, chew toys, drool bibs and ear plugs.

I have to say, it’s been a personally challenging week, so when Will and Tom asked me if I wanted to go see Thee Fair Ohs and Wavves I jumped on the opportunity. Nice Nice were playing as well but I had no idea who they were so we kinda missed their set, oops. Thee Fair Ohs were so happy, I think their joy was infectious because I was gyrating away to their tropical psychedelic fuzzzz. Click here to read an interview Tom did with Thee Fair Ohs for Dazed and Confused magazine.

Meanwhile Wavves were pure stoner-surf noise, cajoling the already sticky and sweaty kids clad in AA hoodies to mosh and crowd surf. Frontman Nathan Williams asked if anyone knew where to get good weed before playing Weed Demon. Apparently they’re going to have an afterparty (weed anyone?) at the Barfly in Camden with Fucked Up, which I’m clearly missing because I’m here instead uploading free music for you.

On the way home though I ran into the lovely Veronica So of TEETH!!!, turns out they were playing a free gig at the Old Blue. Needless to say I obliged. They played some of their ‘unedited slash unfinished’ new stuff which sounded like something from a really fun video game love song – probably one of their most melodic / poppy tune so far, but still awesome nevertheless. I am a through and through TEETH!!! groupie.

But anyway, here are some good shiz from tonight (and some extra extraz) for you to download, so you can pretend like you were there with me in spirit, getting elbowed and trod on with beer in your hair but feeling really, really HAPPY. Bring on the weekend!

MP3s (click on link to preview, right click save as to download)

1. Thee Fair Ohs – Summer Lake

2. Wavves – No Hope Kids

3. TEETH!!! – Totally In My Way

4. Atlas Sound & Noah Lennox – Walkabout

5. Phoenix – 1901

6. Alan Vega – Fat City

Make life easy, download the whole lot in one go by clicking here.

Also published at UNKITSCH

We hate SuperVegan and we hate the post Where to Eat Vegan for Thanksgiving 2009 in New York City.

1. WE HATE that you needed to write an entire post advising people where to eat vegans in New York city, because that’s cannibalism, and that’s not vegan. Furthermore, that post should be on SuperC.H.U.D.

SuperVegan's superpowers include: fighting the tide, corralling glaciers, calling gravity unethical,

2. WE HATE your first sentence. “Thanksgiving is a devastating time of year for vegans.” No it’s not. It’s vegans’ favorite time of year, because it’s the only time that social customs force the rest of us to put up with your tired animal rights rants during an entire meal.

3. WE HATE your “Gentle Thanksgiving” recipe guide with a menu suggestion from Alicia Silverstone. Actually, we hate that Alicia Silverstone is your go-to celebrity. Every vegan we’ve ever met cites Alicia Silverstone as a vegan. Is that all you’ve got?

But, we will give Alicia Silverstone credit. She’s such a vegan, she’s refused to be in movies that contain any animals, depictions of animals, or mentions of animals. To be on the safe side, she’s refused to be in any movies.

4. WE HATE tofurky. If you don’t want it, don’t want it.

He buys his tofu in the pop-up section.

Here are some other ideas for people to want when they can’t want what they want:

• For Jews: Kosher Krabs
• For virgins: Dildon’ts
• For clowns: Statutory Adults
• For vegans: Friends who Still Want to Hear Your Sermon

5. WE HATE your name dropping. You tell vegans to go to Farm Sanctuary, and get the chance to “hang out with Laurie Anderson, Lou Reed, Peter Max and Ally Sheedy” (O Alicia, where art thou?). Vegans didn’t become vegans because celebrities became vegans. Vegans became vegans because they have weak teeth. It’s true.

A scientific study produced by a major university revealed that all vegans were born with weak enamel. This causes meat fibers to, in effect, tickle their teeth. We could go further into the study’s findings, but we’ll just cut straight to the conclusion: vegans can’t handle meat. They aren’t tough enough.

Here’s the take-home: vegans are born vegans. That’s why we have no problem with vegan marriage. Remember, we hate your blog, not your lifestyle.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

Robin: Gosh, Batman! Remember this leather thong? It still has your teeth marks in it!

Of course.

This is the opening chapter of the book that I posted a random chapter of last Friday. I will also post a random chapter tomorrow. I thought I should at least post the first chapter sooner than later. It is a short chapter. Shorter than the other chapter and filled with less horror sex like the last one. To fill the void in your holidays here is the first chapter. Sorry it isn’t longer, that’s what she said.

Hmmm… I’ll also add in a music video to make this post feel longer. I like Lady Gaga. I like Francis Lawrence. And guess what? They made a video together. “Bad Romance” is the first single as far as I know from Lady Gaga’s new album “Fame Monster”. And you read that correctly, I do like Lady Gaga. She looks great in this video. The video and the song reminds me a lot of Annie Lennox and Madonna. I do have to say that I admit I am playing to my crowd a bit. I’m not posting videos of bands like The Chariott which I like as well (namely the song “Teach”). So I’ll stick to the dance/pop songs for this website.

If you do feel so inclined to hear more Lady Gaga or feel like memorizing things I prophesize and checking if they come true, the song “Teeth” by Lady Gaga is going to be huge.

***************************

10:33am – Wednesday

My name is Benjamin Calthase and I am a 24 year old graduate of a small liberal arts university you have never heard of with a BA in Sociology and a minor in Computer Engineering. I am 6 foot 2 and 200 pounds. I am white, I have sandy blonde hair, green eyes, I am out of shape and I have begun to question the decisions in my life that have led me to this present failure where I currently reside.

My dignity aside, I am wearing a white t-shirt splattered with condiment stains, basketball shorts I’ve never played basketball in and a pair of knee high white tube socks. I am watering my driveway. Technically it is not my driveway. It is my parents’ driveway. I have a garden hose in my right hand and I am slowly turning like a sprinkler soaking my parents’ new paved driveway. Unless this is a practical joke that my parents have pulled on me, you need to water a new paved driveway. It might be because it is the middle of summer and 90+ degrees with even more humidity here in residential suburban New Jersey. I didn’t bother to ask why I needed to water the driveway because it was not like I could say no.

I am unemployed and spend my days playing Call of Duty, jerking off, eating fast food, jerking off, watching my dog, downloading porn for tomorrow and wondering when God will grant/bestow upon me one of the jobs I randomly apply to online. Alluring subjects like “Entry-level” and “No experience required”, how could I not send them my pencil thin resume and a half-assed cover letter feigning all the excitement one could have for a data entry position at a non-profit for barely above minimum wage.

I’m sweating it is so hot. I’m just standing here watching the hose spew out gallon after gallon of clean water onto this hot black asphalt driveway. All I can think about are the poor Africans that we, Americans, are always so concerned about. Each and every one of those poor bastards dying in a genocide, dying from diseases, all dying from not having clean water and here I am in New Jersey standing here just hosing down this inanimate mass that I park my car on with the very same water that could save all their lives. That whole continent is just dying. Always dying.

Just imagine someone in some distant country taking all the edible food that one would need to keep them alive and taking that food and spreading it all over the ground and then running it all over with their car. I feel shitty about this. It is such a waste.

I’m hungry…

I don’t feel like making anything. I think I’ll just order a pizza. I should order it as soon as I finish this watering. You know what? I think I’ll download some of those porn videos where there is a pizza delivery guy and he sticks his dick through a hole in the bottom of the box and the half-naked fake boobed housewife or a freshman sorority chick he delivers it to opens the box and says something about wanting his big sausage. That will be a good theme for the day: eat a pizza then jerkoff to porn videos with pizza in it. I need to think of something to identify today from every other day or I won’t have any frame of reference. All these days bleed into each other and they never end.

Those poor Africans. All this water could be theirs. All this clean cold water for a lifeless slab of road for my parents to put their cars on.

Oh yeah, I live with my parents. Pathetic.

**************

Happy Thanksgiving.

So tell me this. Did you Orthodontists or Dentists ever tell you that misaligned teeth can cause headaches, and I mean bad headaches?

Did you know that bleeding gums could be a sign for diabetes? If you don’t know this, you might want to go through what your Orthodontists or Dentists did not tell you.

It is important to know this, especially if you have kids.

There is nothing better than a smile to brighten your day and a bright smile is the only way to make others happy. For healthy teeth and a bright smile, you need go smile’s two step program. This is the best teeth whitening system promises white teeth without you having to use the strips and trays for teeth bleaching that used to be so uncomfortable and messy. We are all living in the modern world and thus we need a modern dental teeth whitening formula to brighten our smile. You can now keep your teeth white in a fast and easy manner with the help of go smile. Now you too know the home teeth whitening secret to the brightest smile.

Go smile works with the help of Ampoule Technology Delivery System. In three easy steps you can get a smile to woo everyone around. Just flip, pop and whiten your teeth with this amazing system that is made especially for people who have been facing the problem of yellow teeth. You can get an idea about the product by reading tooth whitening review on the website. To make sure your smile remains bright, it is advised that you use Touch Up toothpastes. These pastes also use the ampoules technology and are enriched with aromatherapy. There are two delicious toothpastes in this range that need to be used in the day and the night time.

Unlike teeth bleaching system, there are three flavors to make your teeth whitening experience better. You can choose from Fresh mint, Green apple and watermelon mint. There is no other method as simple and effective as go smile. In a matter of just seven days, you will have a smile most people would envy and that too without any mess or pain. You can use this formula for home teeth whitening anytime you want. This also helps in keeping the whitening formula of the go smile’s dental teeth whitening system stable and potent till the time you don’t want to remove the whitening power.

You can make use of the soft tip of the applicator and easily apply the formula on the specific areas that need whitening. Make sure you do not apply this formula on the sensitive areas. According to the teeth whitening product reviews these products have been tested by a leading investigator of oral care. The study also proved that this teeth whitening system worked perfectly to lighten teeth and gave satisfactory results. This fast and effective tooth whitening system is meant just for you so that you do not have to feel embarrassed and ashamed of your yellow teeth. The color of your teeth can get six shades lighter in just seven days. If you want, you can go through a tooth whitening review and see the benefits.

This product is safe to use and you can recommend your friends to use this fabulous teeth whitening formula so that they too can have white teeth. You will see them giving you exciting teeth whitening reviews about the product.  You can use go smile products even on crowned teeth and veneers. Like many other hydrogen peroxide products, this one does not leave any by products except for a healthy smile. Targeting the specific areas of your jaws is not a difficult task now and in just two steps you can get a beautiful smile. Use go smile and make way for a healthy smile and a happy you. Go smile is the best teeth whitening system you always needed for tooth whitening. Read teeth whitening reviews and make your purchase today. You will get more knowledge about the product after reading teeth whitening product reviews, and you will be better able to decide after visiting www.gosmile.com

Tags: teeth, whitening, teeth whitening, tooth whitening, teeth bleaching, teeth whitening reviews, teeth whitening product reviews, tooth whitening review, home teeth whitening, best teeth whitening system, dental teeth whitening, white teeth

A dog is truly a man’s best friend.

If you don’t believe it, just try this experiment.

Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car for an hour.

When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?

When you do this experiment see who has the better smile if it’s the dog, then your wife may need a better Dental Plan

[Submitted by Mike Berneathy]

WOMEN of all ages, even children, yearn to look like the stars of screen and stage. But it is impossible unless you have about $360,000 a year to shell out.
In Britain, the new woman most girls aspire to be is Cheryl Cole.

Cole is the face and hair of L’Oreal, the ravishingly beautiful judge on Britain’s popular X-Factor, wife of Chelsea and England soccer player Ashley Cole and member of Britain’s top-selling band Girls Aloud. She has just released her first solo album.

The 26-year-old earns more for her work and product endorsements than Victoria Beckham, an astonishing $12.4 million a year.

But Cole is a a tribute to the wonders of modern cosmetic techniques and impossible to replicate in reality.

The Daily Mail newspaper in the UK explains why:

HAIR – $7200 a year

Cheryl Cole’s hair may look natural but her luxurious waves are made of Monofibre acrylic extensions. According to her hairdresser, her extensions used to be real hair but after her own locks became damaged they started using acrylic instead.

The acrylic has to be maintained every six to eight weeks and a full set are needed every three months at around $1300 a time.

EYELASHES – Up to $3300 a year

Cheryl is now never seen without her elongated lashes. She even has her own range of Eylure lashes, along with her Girls Aloud bandmates. Alexsandra Byrne, eyelash and make-up artist for Get Lashed, says: “She’s clever as she chooses lashes that are long but delicate.”

A complete set of lash extensions can cost up to $270, and need maintenance every four to six weeks.

MAKE-UP – $72,000

As the new face of L’Oreal, Cheryl receives around £900 worth of beauty products a month. Lisa Laudat, Cheryl’s personal stylist, is reportedly paid $72,000 a year to do her make-up full-time

DIET AND EXERCISE

Cheryl admitted to having a personal trainer at the start of the year – she says that she has to work hard on her legs – but mostly puts her figure down to hours of dancing, both in Girls Aloud and now as a solo artist. She has shed a stone since her still-slim Girls Aloud look, and now weighs 50.8kg (eight stone), which is in part down to a low-carb diet. She avoids red meat and favours low-fat Japanese food.

EYEBROWS – Up to a year $1500 a year

Not too thin, not too thick and perfectly shaped.Cheryl’s look is most likely achieved with the traditional method of eyebrow threading, where fine thread is twisted around each hair to pull it out. To achieve her look, Cheryl would have to have them done every three weeks, which can cost as much as $80 a go.

TEETH – $17,000 at least

Dr Wyman Chan, Cheryl’s cosmetic dentist from smilestudioLondon, has given her porcelain veneers and whitening treatments to improve her teeth. He says: “Perfecting her smile was of huge importance to Cheryl, so she had four porcelain veneers placed on her front teeth to correct the irregularity.” Veneers are wafer-thin covers that are cemented to the front surface of the tooth, similar to the way false nails are applied, once the tooth is filed down. It costs up to $2700 per tooth.

FAKE TAN – Up to $5750 a year

The company Fake Bake’s celebrity tanner and skincare expert Lisa Fulton says: “When Cheryl started to get media interest, she began using fake tan. She uses our lighter tanning products – only one or two tones darker than her natural skin tone – so she doesn’t have that mahogany look.” To maintain this look, Cheryl has four sprays a month, plus she uses 10 bottles of gradualtanning spray and 10 bottles of instant wash-off spray a year.

STYLISTS AND DESIGNER CLOTHING – $260,000 a year

Although designers clothe Mrs Cole, she still spends a small fortune on fashion. Her two stylists, Frank Strachan and Victoria Adcock, the woman behind her military-inspired outfits, have transformed her from girl-next-door to glamorous goddess. But it costs $80,000 a year for both. It is now estimated she spends $180,000 on clothes each year on top of that.

Source

HAIR – £4,000 A YEAR
Cheryl Cole’s hair may look natural, but those trademark luxurious waves are actually made of Monofibre acrylic extensions. According to her hairdresser Julien Guyonnet, her extensions used to be created with human hair, but after her own locks became damaged they started using acrylic instead. The acrylic hair won’t cause bald patches as it doesn’t require glue. Julien gave Cheryl extensions four weeks ago – they have to be maintained every six to eight weeks – and a full set are needed every three months at around £700 a time.

EYELASHES – UP TO £1,800 A YEAR
While her eyelashes have always been fairly long, Cheryl is now never seen without her elongated lashes. She even has her own range of Eylure lashes, along with her Girls Aloud bandmates. Alexsandra Byrne, eyelash and make-up artist for Get Lashed, says: ‘She’s clever as she chooses lashes that are long but delicate.’ A complete set of lash extensions can cost up to £150, and need maintenance every four to six weeks.

MAKE-UP – £40,000 A YEAR
As the new face of L’Oreal, Cheryl receives around £500 worth of beauty products a month, but her yearly bill runs much higher. Lisa Laudat, Cheryl’s personal stylist, is reportedly paid £40,000 a year to do her make-up. She’s on hand for touch-ups during The X Factor’s live shows. Cheryl and Dannii used to share a make-up artist, but now Lisa, who used to work with Girls Aloud, looks after Cheryl full-time.

DIET AND EXERCISE
Cheryl admitted to having a personal trainer at the start of the year – she says that she has to work hard on her legs – but mostly puts her figure down to hours of dancing, both in Girls Aloud and now as a solo artist. She has shed a stone since her still-slim Girls Aloud days, and now weighs eight stone, which is in part down to a low-carb diet. She avoids red meat and favours low-fat Japanese food.

EYEBROWS – UP TO £800 A YEAR
Not too thin, not too thick and perfectly shaped – Cheryl’s brows may well have been groomed by an expert. This look was most likely achieved with the traditional method of eyebrow threading, where fine thread is twisted around each hair to pull it out. To achieve her look, Cheryl would have to have them done every three weeks, which can cost as much as £45 a go.

TEETH – £9,500 PLUS
Dr Wyman Chan, Cheryl’s cosmetic dentist from smilestudioLondon, has given her porcelain veneers and whitening treatments to improve her teeth. He says: ‘Perfecting her smile was of huge importance to Cheryl, so she had four porcelain veneers placed on her front teeth to correct the irregularity.’ Veneers are wafer-thin covers that are cemented to the front surface of the tooth, similar to the way false nails are applied, once the tooth is filed down. It costs up to £1,500 per tooth.

FAKE TAN – UP TO £3,200 A YEAR
The company Fake Bake’s celebrity tanner and skincare expert Lisa Fulton says: ‘When Cheryl started to get media interest, she began using fake tan. She uses our lighter tanning products – only one or two tones darker than her natural skin tone – so she doesn’t have that mahogany look.’ To maintain this look, Cheryl has four sprays a month, plus she uses ten bottles of gradualtanning spray and ten bottles of instant wash-off spray a year.

STYLISTS AND DESIGNER CLOTHING – £145,000
Although designers are falling over themselves to clothe Mrs Cole, she still spends a small fortune on fashion. Her two stylists, Frank Strachan and Victoria Adcock, the woman behind her militaryinspired outfits, are both old friends of Cheryl’s. They have transformed her from girl-next-door to glamorous goddess, but at a cost of £45,000 a year for both. It is now estimated she spends £100,000 on clothes each year on top of that.

Source

The Big Girl got her tooth pulled today. I woke up early, nursed Diaperbutt & while he slumbered on I brought the Big Girl to the vet. It’s a little over a half hour drive from here but we like them so much there it is worth it. They told me to call in the afternoon to see when I could come back for her.

At 11:30 the vet called telling Grumpy Bear “She would probably be happier at home.”, which was really just a nice way of saying “Come get your mutt – she’s driving us nutty!”. Our girl has always been an anxious pup & she is far from happy when put into a kennel.

She seems to be doing well although her gums are awfully swollen & sore looking. She is refusing to eat (which made give her some more pain meds more difficult) & a little mopey but she’ll be just fine. She scared us a couple times this afternoon when her legs just crumbled under her but we’ll keep an eye on her & I’m sure she’ll be fine.

Grumpy Bear is commiserating with her – after all his dental work in Costa Rica before we left he knows better than most how she feels.

Isn’t it awesome that a person can reach a certain level of importance and fame at which other people will value their decayed remains?

(CNN) — Two fingers cut from the hand of Italian astronomer Galileo nearly 300 years ago have been rediscovered more than a century after they were last seen, an Italian museum director said Monday.

They were purchased recently at an auction by a person who brought them to the Museum of the History of Science in Florence, suspecting what they were, museum director Paolo Galluzzi said.

Three fingers were cut from Galileo’s hand in March 1737 when his body was moved from a temporary monument to its final resting place in Florence, Italy. The last tooth remaining in his lower jaw was also taken, Galluzzi said.

Two of the fingers and the tooth ended up in a sealed glass jar that disappeared sometime after 1905.

There had been “no trace” of them for more than 100 years until the person who bought them in the auction came to the museum recently.

Whoa! A bonus tooth! I hope it was a molar.

Visit CNN for the rest of the story.

A while ago, I blogged about “despots,” my term for a grade of small to medium-sized theropods that predate the evolution of the large to gigantic tyrannosaurids, or “tyrants.” In it, I projected that a small group of theropods would form a grade within the larger group of theropods that would lead directly to Tyrannosauridae; this group, generally the Tyrannosauroidea, would arise from small predaceous cursors, long limbed and long armed, large skulled and generally unremarkable otherwise, save that they would have features of their bigger descendants.

A month ago, one of these taxa has been given the spot-light with a century-long-awaited redescription (and an immensely detailed and thourough one at that):

Rauhut, O. W. M., A. C. Milner and S. Moore-Fay, in press. Cranial osteology and phylogenetic position of the theropod dinosaur Proceratosaurus bradleyi (Woodward, 1910) from the Middle Jurassic of England. Zoological Journal of the Linnean Society, online early preview.

Proceratosaurus is one of the earliest English theropods described, and is represented by a nearly complete skull, including lower jaw and hyoid aparatus, but lacking the cranial roofing bones and partial braincase bones associated with it (most of the nasal, and all of the frontals, parietals, and portions of the lachrymals, squamosals, prefrontals, postorbitals, and so on). Detailed study of the cranial morphology was carried out with computed tomgraphy imaging, which permited investigation of the pneumatic nature of several bones including the lachrymal, jugal, and nasal, features previous unknown. It confirmed that the strange triangular snout “horn” was correctly identified, and being hollow corresponded well with what is now known for Dilong, Guanlong, Tyrannosaurus, etc.

Many features of the skull imply that successive evolutionary changes that are associated with the size of the taxa were present at small size early on, and I touched on several of these in that previous post, including:

1. Fusion of the nasal (almost certainly prior to inflation and the presence of internal chambers);
2. An anteroposteriorly short premaxilla (or ventrodorsally tall) due in part to rotation of the premaxillary bone medially;
3. Premaxillary teeth much, much smaller than the maxillary teeth;
4. Lachrymal with a posterior crest or ridge that projects into the orbit and likely supported a tendon or musculature associated with the anterior process of many a postorbital in this group but which does not always appear in smaller tyrannosauroides (some have argued it is an adult or subadult ontogenetic feature).

Rauhut et al. further postulate the nature of Proceratosaurus by analyzing it in a phylogenetic matrix of 38 taxa and >300 characters, drawn from Rauhut (2003) and other papers. This analysis placed Proceratosaurus next to Guanlong, an early despot that i also discussed briefly, and the foundation set for a monophyletic Proceratosauridae, diagnosed by the presence of a very elongated external bony naris, the anterior maxilla producing a small “step” at the position of the premaxilla and ascending process for the nasal, and of a sagittal cranial crest. Moreover, further characters from above supported my previous arguments on cranial similarity, including

1. Pneumatization of the jugal;
2. Presence of a ventral jugal “boss” or “horn;”
3. Ventral margin of the basioccipital faces posteroventrally (ordinarily, this faces further posteriorly);
4. Anteriormost premaxillary teeth with a mesial and distal carina projection from the lingual surface of the crown;
5. Denticulations of the premaxillary teeth;
6. and, finally, a distinct difference in size between mesial and distal denticulations of the maxillary and dentary tooth carinae (although this is also diagnostic of dormaeosaurids, it is unlikely to be confused based on the other chaarcters, and is reversed later on in tyrannosaurid evolution).

Distinct cranial morphology of the skull reveals that specialization of the dentition and jaw were adapted with increased pneumatization of the skull and the arrangement of the basiocciptial likely corresponded with a revision of the cranial jaw musculature. These features reveal that, among other things, early tyrannosauroids had set themselves apart from their contemporaries, but as the middle and latest Jurassic samples of medium to large-bodied theropods are undersampled, it is difficult to gauge specialization in the context of evolution as a competitive strategy.

It is important to note that this all occured at a relatively small body size, as the theropods Guanlong and Proceratosaurus were no larger than 4-5m, and based on the relative gracility of taxa that I have also projected into this group (such as Tanycolagreus) would have weight less than 100kg. It would be easy to propose, therefore, that the distinct dental and cranial morphology would have permitted these taxa to exploit a different feeding strategy. Unlike their largest descendants, this would likely have not included bone processing, megaherbivore predation, etc.

So the best effective solution is to assess the mechanical functionality of this unique cranial morphology (a rounded snout, smaller premaxillary “nipping” teeth but also larger, very ziphodont lateral teeth, robust bite force generation) but as of yet, this has not been done (largely due to the lack of an easily examinable and complete skull for a despot). At this time, Proceratosaurus bradleyi (Woodward, 1910) and Guanlong wucaii (Xu, Clark, Forster, Norell, Erickson, Eberth, Jia and Zhao, 2006) possess the most ideal skulls for finite-element analysis, but the incompleteness of some or the crushing in others renders a full analysis improbable.

ew’ check out how weird this is.

like – what the fuck, that’s not cute.

at all

gross.

- YEH LET ME DONATE MY TEETH SO SOMEONE CAN WEAR THEM

gives me goosebumps.

You dirty minded devil you.

I have okay teeth.  They aren’t horribly crooked, there’s no serious gaps.  In fact my front teeth look rather straight.  I’ve had a bit of jaw trouble for years, nothing seriously drastic, I’ve never broken it.  But it just aches occasionally.

A few years back I got my first passport photo as an adult.  I was absolutely horrified by it really.  Not only did I look more like a bad guy because you can’t smile, but my face, my face is so crooked in the lower half I look like that creepy gold-paint huffing convict minus the dead eyes and gold macramé design.

Seriously people, this is similar to how crooked my jaw is, and if I don’t smile or face the camera straight, it’s highly noticable.

Finally I decided I should do something about it.  The weird thing is my teeth line up, but it pulls my jaw back and left.

See? Except his goes to the right, mine is to the left.

I’ve lined up my jaw to comfort, and my mouth feels better, but my teeth are horribly misaligned inside.

Cod, I can’t believe I’ve just posted goober pictures of me on the internet.

Anyway, I’ve called a friend’s ortho to find out what they can do for me.  We have pretty good coverage as our basic insurance, but it doesn’t cover orthodontia for adults at all, only kids.  We also have an added account-type benefit that pays for the extras not covered.  Our family in the last few years has only used a third of that benefit so I’ve decided before the kids are too old, I was going to dig into it to use for my own fixing.

I phoned them and because of my jaw issues, my main insurance may cover it partially.  That’d be such a bonus.  However, the procedure itself would probably be surgery to break my jaws (upper and/or lower).  Oh fun.

But I’d finally stop chomping my tongue because it’d fit better in my mouth, I’d finally have aligned teeth and by golly my passport photo won’t look so horrible! *snort*

Ahh, vanity wins out in the end.