I’ve discovered another new skill. Yes, I know you’re getting bored by how clever and wonderful I am, but hear me out.

I am faster than a speeding bullet. I have an effect more powerful than Jedward. I cause mighty explosions of wrath with virtually no effort: I have learned how to hit Mummy and Daddy. And when I say hit, I mean I should be looking at a career in this thing. There must be something? Some way of getting fame and fortune from mindless violence? I’ll invent one.

It’s a great technique. Wait till they’re all riled up about something else, then lash out before they have a chance to blink. Then while they’re recovering from that one, I let the other arm go and bam! One mad parent. You have to choose your targets though. Mummy and Daddy are really the only safe ones – I know they’ll be there to give me a hug later when we’ve all calmed down, and they love me no matter what I do. Heh heh. And you really shouldn’t waste this one on grandparents. They wouldn’t give the fantastic reactions that Mummy and Daddy do, and besides they have other uses. At the minute they think butter wouldn’t melt in my mouth, so Mummy and Daddy tell them about some horrendous thing that I’ve done (their words, not mine) and the only thing Grandma says is “Aw, bless him!” I can do no wrong, and Mummy and Daddy are actually lost for words. And that doesn’t happen nearly enough.

I know they’d quite like me to stop hitting. It has been mentioned once or twice, and I get the impression (call me daft) that they mean it. But really, aren’t they over reacting? I mean, it’s not like I’ve hit other boys and girls – now that would cause a reaction…hmmm. Anyway. And I haven’t yet drawn blood, or left a mark, so they can’t really complain. It could be seen as exercise – every time I hit I’m getting stronger so I’m actually building up my muscles. And, you know, this talking thing is not coming on as fast as I need it to. Oh sure, I’m getting more words. But there are so many more things I need to say, and sometimes actions speak louder than words.

Besides, they’ve had it far too easy up till now. All they can really complain about is the sleep thing, and I’m pretty sure that sometime soon I’m either going to have to give in on that, or they’ll come up with some new devious plan. I heard them talking about letting me cry – where’s the fun in that?! So I need a few more tricks to keep them on their toes, and they’re such a soft pair, a hint of violence seems just the job. When I can debate their arbitrary rules with wit and flair for a couple of hours, then we can talk peace. Until then, I’m practising my left hook.

1) On a full tang knife, be sure to drill holes in the handle portion of the steel to get the balance correct. Otherwise, the handle will weigh too much compared to the blade.

2) If you mix epoxy and the two puddles of hardener/resin don’t look equally sized, your epoxy won’t harden.

3) Don’t skip grits of sandpaper as you do the finish of the blade.

4) I used 1095 steel and tempered it at 425 degrees. This seemed to work well.

5) I started a 3rd knife, but stopped before finishing, because I learned the hard way that you shouldn’t have the blade to tang width reduction occur in the same location as the full thickness to blade bevel thickness reduction. If you do, your knife is weak. Better to have an unsharpened ricasso area before the reduction in width for the hidden tang.

6) Hickory stained with walnut stain looks good on a knife with brass

7) Don’t forget to polish the edges of a full tang knife that are part of the handle. It looks funny to have a well polished blade, but just a sanded tang when the tang is exposed.

8 ) I found a trick to get brass bolsters to fit the steel when your steel is slightly rounded under where the brass goes. Put your epoxy on the brass, Use vise grips to clamp the brass to the blade on one side, then use a vise to clamp the other part of the brass. This will allow you to bend the brass so that it will conform to your slightly rounded tang. (The tang gets rounded under the front bolster because of you buffing of the blade before assembling the handle and bolster.

9) Make sure to get the mating surfaces of the brass bolster to mate well with the handle before applying epoxy.

My knife that this post is about is located here:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=29615&id=1585130466&saved#/photo.php?pid=515435&id=1585130466

I’ve been thinking a lot about my reaction to the post about the BIA booting a blogger from their conference. And I’m wondering if I should regret my hot-headed reaction.

On the one hand, I have received tremendous help from the BIA in some respect. On the other, I have heard stories like this — and other accounts, where people were actively discouraged by the BIA from saying that you can recover from traumatic brain injury.

It’s a mixed bag. As most things with people are.

The thing is, though, the Brain Injury Association is more than a person. It’s a collection of persons which professes to assist other persons. And as such, if it’s going to truly assist, I would think they would welcome the presence not only of a member of the press but also someone who has been impacted by brain injury.

Or maybe they’re wary of brain-injured folks in general, knowing what they do about “us”…?

Who can say? One of the things I’m taking away from this is yet another reminder of how hot I can get on short notice. And it warns me to check myself periodically, to make sure I don’t go off the deep end. It reminds me I’ve had multiple concussions, multiple mild traumatic brain injures… and as such, I owe it to myself and to others to measure my responses carefully, and weigh the possible effects/consequences, before I let fly.

I had considered taking down the post from before, but it’s a valuable learning/teaching lesson. So, I’ll leave it up there, warts and all.

Treating traumatic brain injuries @ the LATimes

They can’t be set like a bone or staunched like a bleed. They can be difficult even to detect, but the military and others are working to improve care.

Larry Ewing’s life changed last year on a construction site in Victorville; Larry Carr’s changed in 2004 on a road in Iraq. Unlikely brothers in arms, both men now share the same invisible wound — traumatic brain injury.

They tire easily, forget often and lose their balance and concentration without warning. They struggle to make peace with personality changes that have made them barely recognizable to loved ones.

Read the whole story here

Meditations in Job : 61. God does no wrong

Job 34:10-12 Far be it from God to do evil, from the Almighty to do wrong. He repays a man for what he has done; he brings upon him what his conduct deserves. It is unthinkable that God would do wrong, that the Almighty would pervert justice.

In chapter 34 we pick up the second phase of Elihu’s talking, started by, “Then Elihu said…” Again he challenges his listeners to listen and check out what he has to say: “Hear my words, you wise men; listen to me, you men of learning. For the ear tests words as the tongue tastes food. Let us discern for ourselves what is right; let us learn together what is good.” (v.2-4).  In this there is a confidence that is willing to be checked out.  We also have a reasonable faith one that can be checked against the evidence and we should not be afraid to say to others, “Check it out!”

Elihu then picks up again on what he has heard Job say, “Job says, `I am innocent, but God denies me justice. Although I am right, I am considered a liar; although I am guiltless, his arrow inflicts an incurable wound.” (v.5,6) Job has asked for justice but justice is not what it is all about.  Elihu concludes that this puts Job in the same category as evildoers who also say wrong things about God (implied): “What man is like Job, who drinks scorn like water? He keeps company with evildoers; he associates with wicked men.” (v.7,8)  i.e. he takes in scorn as one drinks and takes in water and by his words he “keeps company with” and “associates with” wrong people. That doesn’t make him an evildoer or wicked but just means he is speaking in the same foolish way they do.

Why?  What has he said?  He has said, “It profits a man nothing when he tries to please God.” (v.9)  i.e. what is the point of trying to please God?  Back in chapter 21 Job maintained that the wrong doer so often appears to get away with it and, indeed, both good and bad die young or live to old age.  Perhaps this is what Elihu is referring to.  He has a strong answer which we have in our verses today which may be summed up as, “God does no wrong!”   Often in these meditations I have found myself saying that we may not understand what is happening to us but when we get to heaven, if God allows us to look back on His dealings with us, we will never be able to criticise Him for anything He has said or done or not done!

In verse 11 we find a doctrine that comes up often in Scripture: “He repays a man for what he has done; he brings upon him what his conduct deserves.” In the New Testament Paul says, “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.” (2 Cor 5:10) which is about our future destiny, and then more generally in respect of life here on earth, “A man reaps what he sows.” (Gal 6:7)

Yes, this is a general truth.  One day we will have to appear before the Lord to account for what we have done and, yes, here and now our wrong behaviour can have serious repercussions. For example the promiscuous person can find themselves with a sexually transmitted disease, which may be life threatening. Their behaviour has genuinely serious repercussions. The person who steals something lives in fear of being caught and one day may be arrested and judged. The person who has an uncontrollable temper may say things which harm and destroy a relationship and life is changed.  A person who eats too much becomes obese and may have a whole range of health problems, as does a person who drinks too much or takes illegal drugs. In all of these ways wrong behaviour DOES bring ‘negative fruits’ to our lives, fruits that are liable to be harmful and destructive.  It is no wonder that Elihu had previously said that God speaks to us “to turn man from wrongdoing and keep him from pride, to preserve his soul from the pit, his life from perishing by the sword.” (Job 32:17,18)

But there is a bigger truth and it is that God does things sometimes that are not related to this general principle and so Job is not being punished for his wrong doing.  As we’ve seen, he’s been declared by the Lord to be righteous. This is all about testing of faith, testing for faithfulness, and that is nothing to do with discipline to deal with sin. No, the principle is right, Elihu, but it just doesn’t apply here to Job.  It’s a good and right principle but it is not what is happening here.

Yet again we are faced with this warning not to judge people without revelation from God. It is too easy to get it wrong!

We don’t know the origin of these points.  Nonetheless, these are timeless truths worthy of rehearsing to ourselves.  The best plans for our lives are compromised, even sabotaged, by destructive behavior that becomes the norm in too many marriages.

Take a look at what follows and ask yourself “Which of these are true of me?“

1) Lack of Respect

Don’t badmouth your spouse to your friends or associates. Spouses need to be thanked. They need to know they are appreciated.

2) Not Listening to Your Spouse

This includes allowing your mind to wander, paying more attention to the computer or television set, ignoring body language, and interrupting.

3) Lack of Sexual Intimacy

This is a death knell for a marriage. Seek medical counsel and therapeutic counseling if necessary. Don’t leave your spouse wondering why you aren’t interested in sex.
 
4) Always Having to Be Right

This includes lecturing your mate, or having to have the last word. Very few people can love a know-it-all forever. Admit once in awhile that you made a mistake or that you don’t have all the answers. Don’t answer every simple question with a long-winded dissertion on the topic.

5) Not Walking the Talk

Actions do speak louder than words. When you say you’ll do something, do it. When you say you won’t do something, follow through.

6) Hurtful Teasing

If your spouse says the teasing is hurtful, considers it a put down, or thinks that it is inappropriate, then stop it. Claiming that your spouse doesn’t have a sense of humor or is too sensitive is being inconsiderate and unkind.
7) Dishonesty

Having lies and secrets in your relationship can create distance and lack of trust between the two of you.

Being Annoying

This includes continuing to have gross personal hygiene habits, or always being late, or nitpicking everything your spouse does, etc. It is when you know you are annoying and you continue to annoy.

9) Being Selfish or Greedy

This is when you spend money on yourself, but make a big deal if your spouse spends a dime. This is not wanting to open your home to friends and family because you prefer to be alone and don’t want the hassle of entertaining. This is hogging the remote, only going to cheap restaurants when you could afford better, or not watching movies your spouse wants to see.

10) Having Temper Tantrums

Every couple needs to be able to handle conflict in a constructive way. Having an angry outburst so that you can win an argument will make you the loser in the end.

Happiness in your life depends on d quality of your thoughts, but d quality of your thought depend on d people whom u meet in your life….

 ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥

In marriage, Walk the path together, Side by side whenever possible. Remember to hold each other When the air is cold. If the air becomes too close, So each one can breathe. When the path ahead is narrow, Pick one to go first. Always be willing to follow; Don’t be afraid to lead. Trust your partner, trust yourself, For marriage is a journey That leads to great love.”

♥  ♥  ♥  ♥

One should not lose one’s temper unless one is certain of getting more and more angry to the end.

♥  ♥  ♥  ♥

Dreams touch your heart and soul. it is a magical memory that unites fantasy and reality. Hope you’ll have the sweetest dream as you close your eyes tonight.

♥  ♥  ♥  ♥

A girl doesn’t want to hear that she’s hot… she wants to hear that she’s beautiful.

♥  ♥  ♥  ♥

Everything happens for a reason… it’s never too late.  Every time I hear this song I think of you… Be yourself because the people who mind don’t matter and the people who matter don’t mind…

 ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥

Anger (or out-and-out rage) is one of the places where my TBIs and PTSD intersect to cause real problems. I’ve been having some rage issues, lately. Getting worked up over little things — getting angry over nothing, really. Just getting angry. Temper, temper…

In the moment, my anger — my rage — seems completely justified. I feel with every cell in my being that I am entitled to be outraged. I am entitled to be angry. I validate my emotional experience, and I end up spiraling down into a deepening pit of anger, resentment, and acting out. Yelling. Making a fuss. Putting up a stink. And getting aggressive with whomever happens to be offending me at the moment.

This is not good. I’ve done it with police officers, and I’m lucky I didn’t get cited. Or arrested. I’ve done it with family members, and it’s cost me plenty, in terms of peace of mind and my relationships. I’ve done it with co-workers, and it strained our connections to the point of breaking.

Not good.

But lately, I’ve been able to pull myself out of my downward spiral before it gets too much of a hold on me. I’ve started doing some basic things that stop the progression of rage before it picks up so much speed it’s like a runaway freight train.

First, I recognize that I’m angry, and I am convinced that I’m right about being angry. This might not seem like a big thing, but I have trouble figuring out how I’m feeling sometimes, and anger is one of those emotions that I don’t always identify well. It just feels like a rush of energy — and while everyone around me knows I’m pissed off, I usually can’t tell what’s going on with me until it’s progressed to a really problematic point. I recognize that I’m angry, and I remember that I need to not let myself get carried away.

Second, I step away. I take a time-out and just walk away. I stop myself from saying what I’m about to say, no matter how badly I want to say it. I tell myself, I’ll give it some thought and figure out how to say it exactly the way I want to say it. I tell myself… anything … just to extract myself from the situation. I step away, telling myself I’ll come back when I’m better able to express myself.

Third, I take some deep breaths.  This helps stimulate my parasympathetic nervous system, which is the part of the nervous system that chills you out. The sympathetic nervous system is what gets you worked up to respond to a crisis situation — and when I get really angry, it’s often because I think and feel like I’m in a crisis situation, and my body is getting all geared up for fight or flight (more often fight). I consciously take some deep breaths to get my parasympathetic nervous system to chill out.

Fourth, I seek out some kind of tactile stimulation. I need to get out of my head, which is spinning out of control, and just give myself a different point of focus. My head is going so madly, at this point, that I cannot even think straight, so I seek out some kind of physical sensation to get my mind off the madness. I press the side of my face against the cold side of a door that leads to the outside. I pick up something rough and rub my fingers along it. I jingle change in my pocket. Or I find something heavy and hold it. The physical sensation, along with the deep breathing, gets my mind off the crazy cycle it was in, just a minute ago, and it lets me focus on a single point — the feel of the cold door against my cheek or the feel of quarters and nickels and dimes juggling among my fingers. Tactile stimulation, like looking at a flame of a candle while meditating, helps me center and get my mind off that crazy downward cycle.

Fifth, I remind myself that my body and brain are playing tricks on me. I am probably not getting angry for the reasons I think I am — it’s my body that’s getting all worked up into a fight/flight/freeze state, and my mind is interpreting that as a real sign of DANGER. And I’m probably starting to panic a little, too. As a matter of fact, when I take an objective look at things, the rage that’s building inside of me might not even be real rage, rather a response to a hyperactive sympathetic nervous system response. It could very well be my body tricking my mind into thinking the wrong things. And I need to remember that I get to choose how I interpret my life. My mind gets to decide how I’m going to think about things, how I’m going to react. And my well-intentioned body, which thinks it needs help, is just misleading my brain into thinking that I have to do something about whatever it is that’s getting to me. When I remind myself that this is a physiological process that’s taking place, I am able to relax… and the anger subsides.

The thing I have to remember, when all this is coming down, is that It Is Not Worth It. No matter how justified my rage seems to be. No matter how entitled I am to be angry. No matter how wronged I may have  been. It is not worth it, to get so tweaked over things. When I go off on an anger “binge” I end up feeling really hungover and dumb and numb afterwards, which just makes my life more difficult, once it’s passed.

I’m no doctor, but I suspect that it may be connected with the mechanics of panic/anxiety… all that post-traumatic stress stewing in a pot, and my TBI brain being unable to sort it all out in a timely fashion… My processing speed is slower than I’d like, and by the time I figure out what’s going on, the damage is often done.

So, I do my best to recognize when I’m getting angry, I step away, I take some deep breaths and try to relax, and I do something that gets my body’s attention — like feeling something cold or rough or tactile in some way. And I remind myself that my brain and body are playing tricks on me again. They’ve done it before… and they’ll do it again.

It’s often hard for me to shut down at the end of a work day or even for breaks–to just walk away from my desk. It’s uncomfortable to leave a project unfinished; my reaction to this discomfort is often anxiety: I fear that I won’t be able to remember what I was doing, or that it will take a long time to get my momentum back. I fear that I’ll never finish it. I fear that others will think less of me.

So I guess I’m “driven” and have a tendency to be a “workaholic”. I experience what we in RI would call “impulses”. And I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say this is a type of addiction or to call it workaholism.

This may have come about because, even though I long ago resigned myself to being the sort of person who has lots of unfinished projects in my life, a few years back I decided to get more “closure“, meaning actually finishing more things. That’s healthy, right? I’m starting to wonder if it always is , especially if achieving it causes temper.

Leaving something unfinished at the end of a work day gives me an opportunity to practise Recovery techniques, especially bearing discomfort and remembering to  endorse for the effort. I need to spot my fearful temper (worry, anxiety, embarrassment, inadequacy) so I can regain and retain my balance.

If my supreme value is my mental health and everything needs to be placed in this context, then I need to strive for balance, not extremism, in how I use my time. I need to see when I’m being exceptional (“look at all I get done and how well I do it!”) and accept a philosophy of averageness.

I have to have the courage to make a mistake at work–while being conscientious enough, but not too conscientious about my responsibilities as an employee. Dr. Low wrote: “I wish that my patients were a trifle less concerned about their ethics and morals and legality. They are far too concerned about these matters. Instead of having an average concern they have an extreme concern about them.” (MFMA, p. 65-66)

There won’t be an easy fix for me, but I do have several opportunities a day–two breaks, lunch, and the end of the day–to practise my Recovery techniques and work towards my goal of inner peace.

find this very funny. temper temper rio!!

Scorpio is one of the 3 Water Elements (joining Pisces & Cancer)

THE SCORPIO: In General
Sensitivity, emotions, The most private of all the signs – he doesn’t necessarily befriend just anyone, very secretive, he doesn’t share his feelings quite openly. It takes a long time to get to know him. But although he is private he is very interested to know everything about you. Water elements are very intuitive, especially Pisces & Scorpio. Scorpio’s intuition is so strong, that he will actually sense things about you and know things about you without you ever having told him. He is very forceful & will somehow pry information from you that he wants to know. He’s very curious & wants to get to know you.

Scorpio’s have a very controlled nature, but look him in the eye and notice an intense look. On the surface he’s calm but deep down he may be boiling, you can’t tell. You’ll never suspect that anything is wrong – there is no reflection on their face about how they feel. They are intense about everything they do, whether it’s a job or anything else, they are INTENSE. They feel strongly about things. They are very direct and honest. If you ask him for advice he will tell you the brutal truth as it is. They will not be diplomatic. He doesn’t have the ambition to be everyones friend (like fire signs) or a flatterer (like air signs). It’s not that he’s insensitive, it just comes from being honest. He will not pay a false compliment to win a friend. If he says something nice, he’s being sincere.

They have a gentle sympathy for the sick and dispairing (also virgos) especially people who need your help, compassion or sympathy. They react really well to difficult situations. They will attract dedicated admirers because of their strength (or envious enemies) Scorpios make enemies bec Scorpio is an intense sign, so depending how the energy is channeled they can either attract admireres or enemies. Sometimes they take things too personal and may sting others in revenge or they sting themselves by withdrawing. On the average, Scorpios have no fear and can face physical pain, poverty, ridicule & failure. He can be intensely loyal to friends but he can be chilly to those he has no interest in. He’s even capable of great sacrifice. He can be a very good friend in time of need. A scorpio will walk 3-4 miles to visit a sick friend.

Scorpios will not forget a gift or kindness but they will also not forget a injustice for the rest of their lives. Scorpios and Taurus are two signs that will not forget or forgive forever. He will even think about getting even. A soft Scorpio will hold a deep bitterness for years which can cause melancholy which is not healthy, they need to look away and try to forget. Scorpios if misguided can easily fall to drugs, alchohol and illegal activities. They can be sadistic and cruel. Go to a jail, you’ll find lots of Scorpios.

The best vacation for a Scorpio is a long rest and a change of attitude. Scorpios are very deep people, they have a deep interest in religion, they are curious about all the phases of life and death. You want to sell life insurance? go to a Scorpio they are very concerned about death more than anyone else. He has a passion for a physical relationship. Very passionate about making changes and reform (sometimes violently) In work, he quietly waits for his chance to move ahead. Scorpios have no problem getting to the top, because they have confidence in themselves, they are hard workers and ambitious. If he really wants something, it’s no longer a dream. Scorpios are heroic. Protective of children. They have a hypnoetic appeal over their listeners. Scorpios are the finest healers. Can be great detectives, great composers and actors of drama. Scorpios sometimes live alone. A true Scorpio has the desire to win!

THE SCORPIO MAN
He feels passionate about alot of things: politics, food, life & death he will make passionate declarations. “This is the way it should be” “I don’t believe” They appear calm and steady but underneath that cool surface there could be boiling steam. Sensual. Can have explosive tempers & can bite really hard. Their temper is usually almost always in control. He HAS to win. There are alot of softer Scorpios as well. Unconcerned what others think of him. Honesty, Integrity and Corageous. Can deal well with adverse situations. Has high standards. His humor can be rough and sarcastic. Conceals his motives. If you ask for his opinion , he will tell it to you brutally. He’s suspicious & Jealous. He’s loyal to his close and deep ties. Scorpios that are not religious can be doing alot of things wrong. Very stern, no nonsense father, expects his children to eventually stand alone (for their own benefit) A Scorpio man will want to be told what to do.

THE SCORPIO WOMAN
A very magnetic individual, proud and confident. She will want to dominate (They wear the pants in the house) She means business – don’t flirt with her. Can be overbearing & frigid. Can hate with venom or love fiercely. Don’t insult her. She is looking for a courageous man, she will know alot about you at first glance. She can keep secrets. She won’t reveal her feelings to her husband. Watch out for her temper. She might fight you in private but defend you in public. They are not the nagging type. They are not softies. They can take physical pain very well. She will stand up for you if you are taken advantage of. Can be ruthless and very suspicious. She’ll tell you who to trust. She loves her home and has everything under control. They can be very good friends with those she likes but aloof and snobbish to those she doesn’t like. They can either be very skimpy & saving or all of a sudden spend alot. They are not very consistent when it comes to a budget.They are preserverent and very determined. She likes to even the score and have the last word.They enjoy money, prestige & power. If you tell her a lie, she will tell you two. If you’re mean to her one evening she will not be nice for several weeks. Has a strong sense of justice but when it comes to her feelings she only sees her viewpoint. She will remember every kindness but also every wrongdoing. Will encourage her children to strive for high goals and will be to them a wise counselor.

THE SCORPIO CHILD
They enjoy a good fight. They don’t like to compromise. Don’t let them dictate, they need constant discipline. Needs to be taught not to be sore losers. Needs to learn to have respect for authority & be forgiving. He will agree to learn from another kid that is stronger or smarter than him. Will be brutally blunt, needs his privacy, may take revenge from pranksters, keep him active physically & mentally. Don’t impose your will & don’t break your word to him. Direct his passion in the right way.

THE SCORPIO BOSS
Like Teddy Roosevelt – Speaks softly but carries a big stick. Good control over his nature. Doesn’t tire easily. Will want to know everything about you. Will figure things about you on his own. He can sense your moods. Secretive and will disguise his motives. If he likes you he will help you loads. If he doesn’t like you he won’t even hire you. They don’t play games. Very good in emergencies. Suspicious, if you flatter him too much he will feel your’e buttering him up.

Listening to britney’s song – lucky. Brings back so many memories. I guessed most of us grew up listening to her songs because her songs were a big hit back then. You hear it on the radio all the time, back in the 1990’s. It is funny how I used to remember her as the pretty girl on TV. And now she is a sexy mother of two. It is like watching her grow.

Anyway, enough of sidetracking. I swear today is the weirdest day ever in 2009. I got mistook for another person. Getting mistook for someone else is weird. Let alone twice.

Don’t know why but everything just don’t feel right today. My guess is that it’s because my hair woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Or because it’s just the monday blues. It’s funny, how people like me blame monday for being monday. LOL.

Boo. I am bored. Let’s talk about temper shall we? I am not a sweet tempered girl. Most of the time I lacked the patience to sit through anything boring. But unlike most people I have the courtesy to keep my temper in check, that is for the time being, till it eventually erupts. Oh, and I hate it when people throw a hissy fit. Such is normally the actions of a bitch. *roll eyes*

Alright its 8:04 P.M. now, time to go get a copy of classified ads for tomorrow’s comm skills tutorial. On week 4, I have to present myself in front of the class. To talk about how screwed up I once was. And how I change my screwed up life for the better. I can’t think of anything to talk about. Simply because I don’t think I am that screwed up as what the school thought me out to be. Still I have to admit I am a little screwed. But not enough to present my story in front of a group of people.

{Back}

I am back with a copy of classified ads. But I don’t feel like writing my resume now. I just don’t. I wanna sleep. I don’t wanna do any damn work now.

–noun

(dictionary.com)

recently i was told that the single thing that came to someone’s mind for me to abide in was patience. i have never been one to possess such vast amounts of this great character attribute. the very word itself is like finger nails running across a chalk board for me. i just don’t like it. yet when it is spoken that it is what is needed, the clarity of such a statement brings me the realization that it is something i must develop more of.

the very circumstances that it applies to in my life must be in some way, for some reason, in my life’s spectrum simply to teach me how to be more as such. so i will attempt to operate with more of this attribute in my life.

hmmm…..

patience. just to even pause after saying the word is like for me to actually sit and watch a full program on t.v. without getting bored with the monotony of it.

i am one who is an extremist in almost any area that i’m involved in. so i guess this week i’ll try to keep this word more in front of my eyes to see where i need to have it more real, so that in such a way i can with hope become more…

p a t i e n t.

random thoughts,

kameron

1) Epoxy gets soft when heated during sanding or grinding metal pieces epoxied to your knife. This is bad.

2) You need to sand and buff out all scratches on the guard and pommel before attaching them to the knife because it is very hard to buff at the joint between the guard and the knife blade once attached.

3) Make the blade thinner than you think (at least for me, my first blade was noticeably too thick once I sharpened it). This knife was .125″ at the spine and then 0.090″ just before the sharpening bevel. The blade is about 1″ wide. In the future, I should measure the thickness before sharpening to get the blade into a better profile.

4) Buffing can’t get rid of sanding marks, but it works a lot better with proper buffing compound.

5) Be very careful when buffing the tip of the knife. It has a tendency to get pulled into the buffing wheel and then jerked out of your hands. You risk damaging the knife or you!

6) Sharpen your knife and test its edge strength by chopping on a 2×4, before attaching the handle. You can’t fix a bad heat treat or temper after the handle is epoxied on. Of course you then want to either dull the knife edge or make a protective boot as you keep working on it after that.

7) Silver solder doesn’t stick to highly polished metal well. Sand the blade area where you want to solder the guard.

8 ) Home Depot Nicholsen/Cooper files do make a pretty good blade, but next time I want to buy good steel to start with, mostly so I am sure of what kind I am using. Not sure what kind, maybe 1095, 5160, or O1.

9) Mild steel makes pretty nice looking guards and pommels. Long term I would prefer either nickel silver or stainless.

10) I like the looked of brushed steel better than glossy polished steel for the blade since it doesn’t show finger prints or minor scratches nearly as easily. Create this look by light sanding on the slack belt sander, then buffing. The buffing only softens the sanding scratches, which makes it look like brushed steel.

11) I need to build a jig to get the edge bevel really neat and even. This will also get the bevel angle even on both sides.

12) I believe that the steel I used from the file was type W1, which I tempered in the oven at 500 degrees (probably a bit too hot), which turned it a dark straw color. However, when doing some chopping tests on pine all of the blade edge stayed sharp really well, except for one spot. I suspect that my oil quench in 5W-30 motor oil didn’t cool the blade fast enough as I rocked the blade in the oil to account for the blade edge curve. Not sure how to fix that, but using O1 steel might help.

13) I quenched just the cutting edge of the blade for a differential heat treatment. Hamon line was subtle, but there.

14) The whole knife took about 20 to 25 hours of work.

15) Cardboard is very abrasive and cutting through it as a test will scratch your knife blade.

16) Eye glasses do not provide enough protection while grinding (especially my small lenses)

17) Yes, you really do need a dust mask or better while using any powered sanding or grinding equipment.

You can see my first knife here:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=29615&id=1585130466&l=12d3af0038

This is my latest craze. Something about this song just want to kick my groove. First time I heard the song was on the radio while I was driving a week ago. The next time I heard the song was just this evening while driving back home. Then I thought, “that’s it”. I should get the CD. It’s cool!

Haven’t Met You Yet ~ Michael Bublé

I’m not surprised, not everything lasts

I’ve broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track

Talk myself in, I talk myself out

I get all worked up then I let myself down

I tried so very hard not to lose it

I came up with a million excuses

I thought I thought of every possibility

And I know someday that it’ll all turn out

You’ll make me work so we can work to work it out

And I promise you, kid, that I’ll give so much more than I get

I just haven’t met you yet

Mmmm…

I might have to wait, I’ll never give up

I guess it’s half timing and the other half’s luck

Wherever you are, whenever it’s right

You’ll come out of nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing

And baby your love is gonna change me

And now I can see every possibility

Mmmm…

But somehow I know that it’ll all turn out

And you’ll make me work so we can work to work it out

And I promise you, kid, I’ll give so much more than I get

I just haven’t met you yet

They say all’s fair, in love and war

But I won’t need to fight it

We’ll get it right and we’ll be united

And I know that we can be so amazing

And being in your life is gonna change me

And now I can see every single possibility, mmmm…

And someday I know it’ll all turn out

And I’ll work to work it out

Promise you, kid, I’ll give more than I get

Than I get, than I get, than I get

Ohhhh…

You know it’ll all turn out

And you’ll make me work so we can work to work it out

And I promise you, kid, to give so much more than I get

I just haven’t met you yet

I just haven’t met you yet

Ohhh, promise you, kid, to give so much more than I get

I said love, love, love, love…

I just haven’t met you yet

I just haven’t met you yet

I just love the way Michael Bublé sings the song, it’s fun! And if you read the lyrics, I guess all hands are up. There is no need to argue. I believe it’s like a path for hope and love to be reunited when you meet your loved ones, in the past, at the present and in the future.

The Bottom Line

If your temper, or the tempers of the people around you, are rising, just ride it out.

In Detail

If your temper (or the tempers of the people around you) are rising today, just ride it out. A lot of tumultuous energy is in the air today, likely caused by transitions or adaptations you made a long time ago that are still having repercussions in all areas of your life. Don’t ignore the problems that are going on, but do not let them control your day. These are not fires you need to extinguish. They are merely facts you need to deal with.

Tricky how life play it’s game. Sometimes I wish that we live in a perpetual series of metamorphosis. That every time and every point, we become something that we were once never and we just go on that way because every new form of existence is a rejuvenation process that takes one on a higher level of existence.

Everything else would just vanish. Vapourise.

Think butterflies. I’d be fluttering with joy now if only life is that series of metamorphosis. So will others too!

Wait a second. Did I say ‘metamorphosis’? Could it be that these feelings are direct results of that phenomenon exactly?

Newest album, Crazy Love

…… music maketh the soul ……

In 4th grade, we wrote Halloween-themed poems. I’m not really sure where I was coming from here. Was I upset about being excluded from a hot slumber party? I do remember 4th grade being slightly hazardous as far as the development of cliques and girls becoming more mean….so conformity was the rule of the day. Also, as a supreme apple polisher of the highest order, I didn’t want to disappoint my teacher by turning in something that was too subversive or just not nice. If I could go back in a time machine I’d really let those jerks have it. Yep. Or maybe I’d have just picked a better topic….

Dear Victor,

Two small corrections:

1.  54-56 did not belong to Tun Tan’s family; rather it was the land holding of the Ong family since the mid-1900 (perhaps earlier) – as far as Mr Ong Sek Pek can remember.  I do not have the deeds paper to validate this point.

2.  Hock Guan & siblings were probably delivered by Dr Yeoh rather than Dr Ong, who by the mid-fifties had already retired, and handed over the practice to his assistant, Dr Yeoh (Mr Ong Sek Pek’s brother-in-law)

The reconstructed air well in one of the buildings. (Photo: VC)

One small opinion:

Ruskin, the great English romantic architect, offered that the most authentic way to relate to historical buildings is allow them to decay and stay in ruins.  Any intervention, no matter how sensitive and considered, will bound to tamper with the intergrity of the buildings.  Buidlings, however, are finally objects of interest – human interests, from the benign, the banal to the sublime.  But they are also objects for exchange and labour, and there is an inevitability in this arrangement as long we dwell in commerce and under capitalism.  Thus, the cycles of ownership, decay, repair, etc you highlighted.

YC