“Take my hand. It’s okay, don’t be scared.”

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere they can’t hurt us.”

“But I’ll hurt us…”

“You won’t.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because i trust you. And maybe i know you a little better than you do.”

Take my hand. It’s okay, don’t be scared. We’re going somewhere they can’t hurt us. We’re going somewhere warm. I know you hate the cold. Another thing we have in common. We’re going somewhere we’ll be alone. I know you hate people. So do i. Funny how we have so many in common. Coincidence? Doubt it. There’s no such thing.

I always hurt. Myself, you, everyone. I don’t want to.  I keep doing the same things over and over again. It’s like something is in my head, and it’s making me forget. I’m always so impulsive. I got that from my dad. I got his temperament too. I wish i could be more like my mom…

Did i tell you how perfect i think you are for me? I think you are more than perfect for me.

Keep me safe while i sleep. And I’ll keep you safe while you sleep. You look so peaceful when you sleep. And innocent. Just like a child. I love watching you sleep and cradling you in my arms. “And I’m wondering what you’re dreaming/ Wondering if it’s me you’re seeing”.

I wish i could be your heroine, just like you are my hero.

Have you ever faced the mirror and asked yourself about why you are like this.. and like that.. and sometimes thought that you want to get rid of your weaknesses and envy the character or personality of your friend or colleague?

Haha..please don’t ever beat yourself up and wish to have somebody else life. Because that’s the only life you have, no return, no exchange.

I figured out that we need to first have a clear understanding on who we are so we could change for the better what needs to be changed.

A lot of relationships blow up because two people are just extremely different and when both of you are together it’s like ..tenen!..World War 3.

So start knowing about “Temperaments, Personality” and save your relationship with your spouse, future spouse, friend, family, boss, brother, sister, etc.

Read my next posts about it.

If we start at the note A =440 Hz, a common concert pitch A, then each octave higher we need to double the frequency. So the next octave is A = 880 Hz, and the subsequent one is 1760 Hz. Similarly as we go down octave by octave the frequency halves. So one octave below A = 440 Hz will be 220 Hz. Subsequent lower octaves are 110 Hz, 55 Hz, 27.5 Hz etc.

How do we get from the one frequency to the next? We double or halve it.

What about the notes in between? Well, we need to decide how many notes we want in each octave. Since we are mainly concerned with our 12 semitone scale we choose 12 divisions.

Let’s say we start with A = 220 Hz. How do we calculate A#’s frequency?

A# = A×2^1/12
A# = 220Hz×2^1/12
A# = 233.082Hz

As an exercise let’s go from A = 220 Hz to the next octave up using this formula.

A⁸ = A×2^1/12×2^1/12×2^1/12×2^1/12×2^1/12×2^1/12×2^1/12×2^1/12×2^1/12×2^1/12×2^1/12×2^1/12
A⁸ = A×2^{(1/12+1/12+1/12+1/12+1/12+1/12+1/12+1/12+1/12+1/12+1/12+1/12)}
A⁸ = A×2^12/12
A⁸ = A×2¹
A⁸ = A×2
A⁸ = 220Hz × 2
A⁸ = 440Hz

That works well.

Let’s use this formula to get the frequencies for each of the semitones in the octave.

A  = 220.000Hz
A# = A×2^1/12  = 220Hz×2^1/12  = 233.082Hz
B  = A×2^2/12  = 220Hz×2^1/6   = 246.942Hz
C  = A×2^3/12  = 220Hz×2^1/4   = 261.626Hz
C# = A×2^4/12  = 220Hz×2^1/3   = 277.183Hz
D  = A×2^5/12  = 220Hz×2^5/12  = 293.665Hz
D# = A×2^6/12  = 220Hz×2^1/2   = 311.127Hz
E  = A×2^7/12  = 220Hz×2^7/12  = 329.628Hz
F  = A×2^8/12  = 220Hz×2^2/3   = 349.228Hz
F# = A×2^9/12  = 220Hz×2^3/4   = 369.994Hz
G  = A×2^10/12 = 220Hz×2^5/6   = 391.995Hz
G# = A×2^11/12 = 220Hz×2^11/12 = 415.305Hz
A⁸ = A×2^12/12 = 220Hz×2¹     = 440.000Hz

I mentioned in a previous post that understanding temperaments really helped me.

As I started to unravel and become weaker, I realised that I had to understand myself a bit better and focus on the things that I was wired to do and develop my team a bit better to compensate and shore up the areas I was weak in.

For those that are a bit skeptical about “boxing” people just suspend judgement for a bit. Marcus Buckingham in his “Discover your strengths” book talks about the synapses that we are born with – basically a bazillion. Then over the first few years of our life, these dissolve leaving us with comparatively a few connections. Because there seems to be no rhyme nor reason as to which dissolve, we each have strengths (neural pathways) and weaknesses as a result. We tend to be naturally good at some things, and drawn to some things as opposed to others.

Now, to temperament typing. I’ve done some very simple temperament tests, and they were helpful. But the most comprehensive that I’ve found is the Myers Briggs. I filled out the Myers briggs and my results came back as INTJ.

I don’t want to dwell too much on what those letters mean at this stage, but for me here’s how it panned out:

I’m introverted. That means I need time alone to recharge my batteries. That’s not to say I don’t love being with people, it just means it will eventually drain me. Therefore I need to schedule “alone” time or slowly I’ll run out of energy and crash and burn. Better to be proactive than always trying to catch up.

I’m intuitive. This was a biggie for me. I learned that intuitives tend to define their reality, more through imagination, vision and dreams and not so much on facts and figures and the five senses. Intuitives are really future oriented. The present is more of a means to an end. This means I didn’t have a good handle on concrete reality and needed others to give me reality checks.

I’m a thinker (as opposed to a feeler) when it comes to relationships. In other words, I tend to relate to people logically (that is according to my logic, which whilst subjective is logic nonetheless) rather than emotionally. What that means, is I’m not great at “reading” people and adjusting to their emotional state or cues. I tend to take what they’re saying on face value and focus on the content and information rather than body language and non verbals. I’m fairly analytical. That means I miss a lot. I needed “feelers” in meetings to pick up the cues when dealing with difficult situations.

Lastly it meant that I was organised and planned in my approach to time as opposed to going with the flow – or going with feelings. I preferred structure, goals, time management and objectives rather than keeping my options open and seeing how things pan out. I had to realise that there are a lot of people out there who operate on the “go with the flow” so I
needed to manage that better and not expect everyone to be like me.

In short, the INTJ is nicknamed “The Analyst, The Mastermind, The Scientist, The Free-Thinker”

In short “At work, INTJs use their conceptual strengths to analyze situations and then develop models to understand and anticipate through relentlessly to reach their goals. They will continue on with their plans, even in the face of adversity and data that might suggest to other more practical types that their goals are no longer feasible.”

That’s me. I think you can see how this stuff could really help someone build a strong life, and compensate for their weaknesses.

Hot off the press, in Science 325: 825 and 866, August 14, 2009, researchers showed new evidence that sleep is highly regulated by molecules under genetic control.  This means that you should not compare your child to other children because there is inherited  individual variation in sleep.

There is individual variation regarding duraton of night sleep, duration of naps, the ability to tolerate cumulative sleepiness, and the effects of sleep inertia.  Probably, there is individual variation in the pace of development of circadian sleep rhythms for night sleep and naps in infants and young children.  So again, don’t compare your child to others.  Watch your baby and child and also watch the clock a little to find the sweet spots for sleep for your child.  Don’t expect it to be exactly the same for other children.

Marc

www.sweetbabies.com, www.drweissbluth.com

(Notes taken from Robert Windham and Machele Kilgore)

I. Know Your Child’s Learning Patterns or Learning Style

A. Find out what your Child’s Modality is: Modality determines the easiest way to receive information

1. Visual: Understands and processes information best when they can visually see it. They learn by observing.

2. Auditory: Understands and processes information best when they can hear it. They learn by listening.

3. Kinesthetic: Understands and processes information best when they can be actively involved as they process the information. They learn by doing.

B. Discover your child’s Temperament Style: Determines Attitudes toward Instructional Materials and Methods.

1. Where Attention is Focused:

a. Extroversion: Focus is on the outer world of people, events, and objects

b. Introversion: Focus is on the inner world of ideas

2. How information is Acquired:

a. Sensing: Information is acquired directly through the senses.

Focus is on the concrete and the present.

b. Intuition: Information is acquired through insight, inspiration,

and hunches. Focus is on the possible and the future.

3. How Decisions are Made:

a. Thinking: Decisions are based on logical analysis and consideration of cause and effect.

b. Feeling: Decisions are based on personal values and a consideration of how the decisions will affect self and others.

4. Work Habits:

a. Judging: Prefer life to be orderly and planned.

b. Perceiving: Prefers life to be spontaneous and flexible.

C. Understand Multiple Intelligences which determine Interests and Talents

1. Verbal-Linguistic: Speaking, reading, and writing

2. Logical –Mathematical: Forming concepts and finding abstract patterns

3. Visual-Spatial: Thinking in images, pictures, shapes, and colors

4. Musical-Rhythmic: Rhyme, rhythm, and melody

5. Bodily-Kinesthetic: Touching, manipulating, moving, making, doing, balance, and coordination

6. Interpersonal (social): Relating to and cooperating with people

7. Intrapersonal (self): Independence and self-motivation

8. Naturalist: Awareness of sensitivity to the natural environment

D. List the areas that your child prefers the most in his/her learning and temperament styles and intelligences.

E. Understand that you will possibly see a level of each area in your child, but they will definitely have certain styles that they prefer or rely more strongly upon.

II. Know the Curriculum’s Teaching Patterns

A. Does the curriculum vary its approach in communicating and interacting with new information? Or, is it the same over and over again?

**Think of the different approaches you’ve seen the curriculum use for different subject areas and write them down.

B. If you were to analyze the curriculum writers, which learning or temperament styles and intelligences have they used the most? What do they use the least?

C. How does the curriculum’s emphasis on a certain learning or temperament style compare with your child’s and his intelligence strengths?

D. What areas can you think of that cause this to be beneficial or problematic?

Can you recall specific instances that your child may have had a difficult time doing an assignment simply because of the contrast in how the information was being presented?

E. You never want to solely teach to your child’s learning or temperament style. They need to develop the weaker areas of these as well, but sometimes when you are in a crunch it’s okay to cater to their strength.

For example: (Brainstorm together)

III. Know the Objective

A. What is the goal? What is the curriculum trying to teach?

B. It is important that you not blindly rely on a curriculum to have an objective and assume it is being taught as you go through the curriculum. You need to know, what you are trying to accomplish in teaching your child. Your child may need to understand and know the objective as well.

C. Here are some ideas to help you pick out the objectives, if they are not clearly listed.

1. Are they presenting new information? If so this can be an objective by itself.

2. Is the information necessary for further education? If the information they are presenting is not necessary for this moment, and can be taught at a later time if you think it better, than evaluate whether you’d like to focus on something else. You have the choice to modify – you are the teacher!

3. Are they asking the child to demonstrate understanding? Is it an assessment of some kind?

a. Assessments come in all forms; they are not just tests. Story books, writing assignments, presentations, reports, etc. are all assessments. Anything that is a measurement of what the child has learned or understood is an assessment.

b. If the assessment is not going to show their true understanding, or it can be shown in a way that better suites the child, then modify the assessment. Your objective to understand what the child has learned remains the same; it is just your method that has changed.

4. Are they asking the child to demonstrate understanding and teach a new skill at the same time?

a. If they are trying to teach a new skill along with assessing the child’s understanding, you most likely should make sure that this skill is still taught. You do not want to always change your child’s assessments if it means he or she is not learning new skills along the way.

b. For example, an oral presentation on a book report serves as the measurement of understanding of what took place in the book. However, the process and presentation is a learned skill that must be taught with specific modeling and guided instruction. This is a valuable skill that they will need to build on throughout their educational career and after.

IV. Know your Time Frame

1. Is the time frame in which the curriculum wants your child to complete the assignment reasonable?

2. Does it give enough time for you to model and teach the concept to your child in light of his or her preferred learning style? This does not mean you are catering to your child’s learning style, but if the assignment is pushing him to work in a weaker learning style, you must keep in mind that it will be more of a struggle.

3. Is it too much time? Will your child be overtaken by his or her detail orientations and spend too much time, when he or she could do it quicker? Is it too long of a time frame, and risks the chance of the child becoming bored and unmotivated before the end of the project? If so…MODIFY!

4. Will your child be able to do a good job and feel as though he or she was able to do his or her best? If the child is given little time to accomplish a new skill or understand new information, it only breeds frustration, stress and a lack of motivation for the next time. Keep in mind how you feel when you are rushed and know the job you are doing is not going to be given the chance to be up to the standard that you would like. Your child can feel the same way with his or her work in the classroom. Time limits are necessary for those children that tend to take a long time with everything, but consider whether it is giving your child a fair chance to engage in a positive learning experience with the amount of time the curriculum has allotted. If not…MODIFY!

V. Know what you and your child are capable of: This brings FREEDOM TO MODIFY.

A. You know your child better than anyone else – if the curriculum is not pushing them enough – and you know they are capable of more – it’s time to modify!

B. If you know the curriculum is demanding too much of your child because they spend all day in home school, work on things 2-4 hours after school, and still cannot accomplish what the curriculum is expecting. It’s time to modify!

C. Professional teachers do not always finish the curriculum all the time – they modify and sometimes that means they just don’t finish everything. They are constantly changing and working with curriculum to make it more appealing to the students and a stronger learning experience based upon the learning styles they have in the classroom. You are the teacher and you have freedom to change the book!

Intenzivno razmišljamo o sexu sa susjedom, kolegom ili kolegicom s posla, maminom prijateljicom, poslovnim partnerom… Da! Tako funkcionira mozak današnjeg suvremenog čovjeka kojega pokreću samo dva nagona, a to su onaj sexualni i nagon za preživljavanjem. S naglaskom da je ovaj prvi puno dominantniji.

Međutim bez obzira na sve te napaljujuće scenarije koji se odvijaju u našoj glavi postoji i kralj svih sexualnih ludorija, a on se zove one night stand. Što je tako mistično, a istovremeno privlačno u ispoljavanju praiskonskih životinjskih nagona uz sex na jednu noć vjerovatno nećemo saznati u bliskoj nam budućnosti. Ipak mozak je jedina „stvar“ na svijetu koja proučava samu sebe, a znanstvenici ga nazivaju čudom što znači da ćemo mu se još dugo čuditi. Možda sam sarkastičan ali objasniti kemiju koja se dogodi između dvoje ljudi za mene je nemoguća misija. Usporedio bi tu fatalnu fizičku privlačnost sa koktelom Trostruki užitak. Konzumiraš ga bez obaveza, na vlastitu odgovornost i sa puno leda. Sex na jednu noć obično je kratak, eksplozivan i strastven, a poslje njega se hladno poput šprice vratiš u zagrljaj voljene osobe.

Sa distance osoba u vezi one night stand nije samo avantura i izlet u nepoznato, to je prevara koju rijetki pojedinci mogu tolerirati. Ja osobno ljubavne prevarante smatram emotivnim invalidima bez osjećaja samokontrole koji su u ranom djestinjstvu bili zakinuti za ljubav i pažnju. Njihove su kočnice po pitanju sexualnog apetita otkazale do kraja, a ako ste u vezi sa takvom osobom, i tolerirate takvo ponašanje iz sebi neobjašnjivih razloga, vi ste slabić i kukavica. Dozvoljavati nekome da se igra sa vašim osjećajima, ako niste slijepo zaljubljeni, ravno je eutanaziji jednog dijela vašeg bića. Takva osoba vas nesvjesno robotizira, sakati i polako ali sigurno pretvara u još jednog emotivnog invalida i samo je pitanje vremena kada ćete i vi usvojiti šablonu promiskuitetnog ponašanja. Ljubavne eskapade dio su naše svakodnevice, a dali ćete vi biti glavni protagonist jedne takve ovisi isključivo o vama samima.  Upamtite jedno: parovi žele intimnost, a stranci strast.

One night stand prevara ima puno veću težinu od one koja traje godinama. Zašto? Prevara koja traje godinama jasan je znak da vas je ta osoba davnih dana prestala voljeti i da je sa vama iz ineresa ili navike, a prevara na jednu noć znači da su između vas dvoje trajno zgubljeni osjećaji pripadanja i požude, a takvo što vodi gore spomenutom scenariju.

Puno je parametara koji utječu na to da li će se dvoje ljudi kliknuti ili ne, ali bez obzira na parametere postoje okolnosti koje idu u prilog jednonoćnom sexualnom zadovoljstvu. Ako ste slobodni, volite eksperimentirati, a nalazite se u nekom klubu, restoranu, liftu, kafiću i vidite da je između vas dvoje proradila neka obostrana divlja kemija, nemojte glumiti sveca i sveticu, nemojte oklijevati jer je sex na ex uvijek nezaboravno i nevjerojatno iskustvo. Iako i tada treba biti oprezan jer su danas spolne bolesti porilično raširene, takav sex mora biti prvenstveno siguran ukoliko se ne želite vratiti kući sa mukte „suvenirom“ i zato toplo preporučam: uvijek imajte prezervativ pri ruci! Ukoliko se odlučite za varijantu svetice i sveca zbog vašeg vjerskog i kućnog odgoja onda vas moram suočiti sa činjenicom da će vas vjerovatno neko vrijeme proganjati osjećaj grižnje savjesti jer ste propustili svoj trenutak za pamćenje. Vi ste gospodari svoje sudbine baš kao i moja prijateljica Maja. Zanimljivo je da je Maja upravo one night stand avanturom započela svoju, sada već, trogodišnju vezu. Neki dan sam bili na kavi i baš smo se prisjetili njenog i Marijeva početka. Kaže ona meni kako joj ni na kraj pameti nije bilo da će upoznati nekoga u 22:00h, a već u 2:00h s njim se saxati ali eto, dogodilo se! Upoznali su se jedna svibanjske večeri u jednom zagrebačkom noćnom klubu. Ona je bila vani sa svojim curama, a on u društvu prijatelja iz sportskog kluba. Društva su se spontano spojila. E sada ću vam nastojati ispričati priču kako kako ju je meni Maja ispričala. Koja je to žena! S njom ti nikada nije dosadno.  Citiram: „Pogledavali smo se i smješkali jedno drugom ali nisam imala hrabrosti prva prići. Zato se on nakon treće čaše vina okuražio, prišao i požalio na muziku. Sada se više ni ne sjećam što je točno rekao ali znam da me uspio nagovoriti da izađemo iz diska. Pitao me hoćemo li sjesti u auto i provozati se, a ja si mislim u sebi mmmm… mali moj kako bi ja tebe provozala, ali naravno da mu to nisam dala do znanja. Sjedamo u auto, pravac Jarun. Parkira on auto, a vani mrkli mrak, tišina. Pušta neku pjesmu govoreći: „E ovo je prava muzika, a ne onaj tamo shit“ , a kad tamo moja najdraža house stvar. Ja već luda, totalno! Gledam ga, gleda me. U glavi mi je bila smo jedna misao. Kako bi ga… Nikada ali baš nikada do sada mi se nije dogodio taj osjećaj. Ono! Kada ne vjeruješ da ti se to događa. I dalje se gledamo i u jednom trenutku kaže on meni kako sam mu napeta i da bi me najrađe rastavio na proste faktore ali da ne želi ispasti neki ugroženi lik.  Joooooooj kako je imao perverzan pogled dok je to govorio. Ja sam mu u mislima već bila na… Ne možeš vjerovat! Nešto neopisivo. Nikada nisam osjetila takvu kemiju! Uglavnom; priča on meni kako mu se sviđam, a meni pun kufer priče, pričamo od 22:00h. Najrađe bi da mi uvali jezičinu, a on me mazi po kosi i govori kako sam lijepa na mjesečini. Više nisam znala šta ću pa sam ga dlučila prekinuti u priči, usnama. Auuuuuu… Kako se mali ljubi! Čim sam ga poljubila znala sam da je to to! To sam čekala!!! To je ono što već dugo želim. Ljubili smo se. Divlje, strastveno i žestoko. Ugrizla sam ga, pa mi je vratio ugriz. Počeo me skidati, nisam se suprotstavljala, rastrgala sam sve sa njega, a ostalo je povijest. Vjeruj mi Ivan da mi se to nikada u životu nije dogodilo, takva eksplozija osjećaja i strasti. Nešto što nikada neću zaboraviti.“ rekla je Maja i zapalila cigaretu.

I zato svi koji se upuštaju u sex na jednu noć moraju biti svjesni toga što mogu očekivati, dobiti ili izgubiti. Budite spontani, ali i oprezni i recite da sexu na jednu noć!

Sunt o fire temperamentală. Sunt Săgetător.

Nu ştiu dacă ţine de zodie, (personal nu cred în influenţa astrelor asupra destinelor – inexorabilitate -, sunt mai degrabă adeptul “liberului arbitru” – motiv pentru care nu mi-a plăcut niciodată balada Mioriţa, întrebându-mă întotdeauna, de când am mai “crescut”, de ce ciobanul “a ales” (ciudat, verbul ţine de liberul arbitru!) să stea şi să-şi aştepte moartea – împlinirea destinului – când avea cel puţin o opţiune de a ieşi din această implacabilitate…ceea ce m-a făcut, de multe ori, nu doar o dată, să mă gândesc la noi, ca naţie….suntem ca ciobanul din baladă….aşteptăm să ni se împlinească “destinul”  care ne-a fost dat, gândind că aşa a fost să fie, având deja cele două repere: Yalta şi Malta….)

Observ că îmi plac parantezele (umplute de încrucişări de gânduri)…Aş putea pune multe paranteze în paranteze…Aş putea.

Să revenim însă.

Zodiacul spune că principalele calităţi ale zodiei sunt cinstea, generozitatea, viziunea, iar cea mai puternică dorinţă e să-şi lărgească orizontul.

N-am obiecţii. Mă regăsesc.

Sunt Săgetător.

Se pare, însă, că optimismul meu exagerat (cu care deseori sau aproape întotdeauna îi molipsesc ŞI pe cei din jur) e catalogat ca defect.

Şi am încercat să înţeleg şi de ce.

Probabil e asimilat lipsei realităţii sau câteodată lipsei lucidităţii situaţiilor.

Eşti prea optimist…adică nu îţi dai seama, de fapt, că paharul pe care TU îl vezi pe jumătate plin, se va goli???….Şi atunci?

(Asta e chestia cu optimistul care, privind un pahar umplut pe jumătate, întrebat fiind, va spune ÎNTOTDEAUNA că e pe jumătate plin – doar e optimist, nu? – iar pesimistul va răspunde deasemenea, ÎNTOTDEAUNA, că acelaşi pahar este, în realitate (realitatea lui), pe jumătate gol.)….aici cred că ar trebui să folosesc , de fapt, şi paranteze drepte…

Constat că în viaţă predomină parantezele…şi jumătăţile. Unele doar în stare de conţinut…sau şi în stare de conţinut…fără a le poseda practic. (Aici, cu siguranţă, nimeni nu va înţelege ce am vrut să spun de fapt).

Deci optimismul meu exagerat mă împiedică să văd “sumbra” realitate care mă va putea copleşi la un moment dat al existenţei mele.

Asta e…sau va fi…nu ştiu…(partea cu destinul)

Partea cu liberul arbitru…asta ţine de acest OPTIMISM, şi va ţine toată viaţa!

Viaţa mea.

Sunt o persoană pozitivă.

Îmi influenţez gândurile şi pot influenţa şi gândurile altora. Sunt pe aceeaşi frecvenţă de unde (cerebrale) cu persoanele care îmi sunt dragi.

Şi le transmit gânduri pozitive.

Se pare că influenţez şi evenimente. Din viaţa altor persoane. Neprietene.

Sper să fie doar simple coincidenţe.

Sunt o persoană idealistă, spune zodiacul.

Da, o afirm.

Categoric, aceasta sunt eu. O idealistă. În căutarea perfecţiunii. A atingerii perfecţiunii mai degrabă.

Un defect pe care mi-l recunosc (în sinea mea şi acum o fac şi public) – nu-mi recunosc câteodată limitele (cred că acest cuvânt “limită”, în ceea ce mă priveşte, NU există) şi mă bag în situaţii care câteodată îmi depăşesc posibilităţile.

Dar cum ÎNTOTDEAUNA am fost un om de cuvânt şi de onoare…găsesc o ieşire dintr-o situaţie care m-ar putea pune într-o lumină nefavorabilă. EXPLICAŢIILE. Date cu francheţe.

Sunt o persoană onestă. Caracteristica mea esenţială.

Conştientă fiind de multitudinea de calităţi care-mi definesc personalitatea magnetică (dublată de un simţ al umorului pe care chiar îl am, nu doar îl declar), îmi recunosc defectul de a fi arogantă.

Defect explicabil, nu? Prin prisma explicaţiei “motivului”!!!!!

Sunt un spirit liber.

Da.

Îmi doresc să excelez în toate şi să-i întrec pe cei din jur.

Da. De când eram mică. Moştenire genetică. Mulţumesc, tata, de acolo din ceruri! Ştiu că m-ai văzut. Şi mă vezi.

Dau dovadă uneori de exces de zel.

Da. De aici gafele. Mai fac şi gafe. Câteodată…de mai multe ori…

Nu îmi plac lucrurile impuse.

Am mai spus-o. “Despre mine”.

Sunt o persoană intuitivă. Altă caracteristică esenţială.

Şi nu mă înşel. Aproape niciodată.

Apreciez sinceritatea.

Nu, nu o apreciez.

DOAR asta contează. Este CONDIŢIA ESENŢIALĂ pentru a-ţi găsi un drum spre un loc în inima mea.

Sunt logică, ştiu să-mi argumentez o idee, am un ridicat simţ al dreptăţii.

Sunt un justiţiar. Cauzele altora au fost întotdeauna prioritatea mea. Asta înseamnă PRIN şi PENTRU.

Alţii.

Asta se mai cheamă şi altruism.

Nu suport să fiu criticată sau combătută într-o idee.

Defect?

Sau nu?

Întotdeauna am dreptate. Întotdeauna.

Ştiu ce spun.

Nu ascult de nimeni.

Ba da.

Ascult de câteva persoane. Sunt singurele care mă pot tempera. Vreau, când e cazul, să fiu temperată. Admit.

În concluzie:

Într-un Săgetător se dă o luptă între latura sa perfecţionistă, generoasă, şi latura negativă, dominată de impulsivitate, orgoliu, nerăbdare.

Toate acestea sunt eu. Camelia.

Săgetător.

Autentic.

We are born happy. Happiness is our natural state. Then stuff happens! Somewhere along the way we get caught up in everyday living, and ‘forget’ to be happy.

During a workshop someone said to me: “But we can’t be happy all the time, can we?” The fact is that as adults we give up on the idea that we can be happy and accept our misery as an inevitable part of life. “Because stuff happens” she added.

Is happiness a rare enlightened state, reached only by Saints, Mystics and accomplished Yogis, or is it something we can all aspire to?

I once lived in a town where the Postmaster was known as ‘Grumpy Bill’. How did Bill get to be grumpy? He wasn’t born that way. Understanding our mind and emotional patterns gives us a clue. The answer lies in self-awareness – in becoming aware of our habitual emotional patterns.

Look at very young children playing in a nursery. 2-3 years old. They experience emotions as an energy that passes quickly. One minute they are happily playing. Then one takes anothers’ toy. There is unhappiness, sadness, anger, rage, despair. They run the whole gamut of the emotional scale within minutes. Then the carer asks: “Who wants Ice Cream?” and they are happy again.

Happiness is the default position: our natural state. We would naturally experience happiness most of the time if we knew how to stop the other stuff getting in the way. So how does stuff get in the way?

Let’s say your boss calls you on Sunday afternoon to ask if you’ll come in early tomorrow. You miss 5 minutes of the football game.  Now you turn to your wife and rant. “Can you believe he did that? It’s Sunday. He should know better” Okay so you felt angry for a moment but now you’re putting fuel on the fire. You’re now going to feel angry for the rest of the day, possibly even a week. It all depends on how long you keep telling yourself the story that is feeding your anger.

A natural emotional response to something lasts for only a few moments. By nature  emotions pass quickly, and a state of happiness returns. But if we ‘feed them’ with our thought patterns we keep them going. Then an emotion becomes a mood, and a mood becomes a temperament. If you’re not careful a temperament becomes your personality. It becomes how the world sees YOU.

Before you know it you are no longer ‘Sunny Jim’ and your friends are calling you ‘Grumpy Bill’. You missed the football game and your whole day was ruined. Not because your boss called an hour ago, but because of what you are still telling yourself about the boss calling.

When we experience emotions fully in the moment as children do, allowing them to pass without a story, we can have our experience and be over it in a matter of moments. Then return to our default state: Happiness. Not because we saw the football game, but because we knew how to experience our emotions and discipline our thoughts.

At dreamcoach.co.uk we can support you in returning to your default state. Contact me on ruth@dreamcoach.co.uk or visit our website and check out our books and resources. Don’t accept chronic misery as part of life!

Relax … and Be Happy! ( PS – it’s a skill!)

Ruth Hadikin
Supporting Stressed-Out Professionals
Stay in touch through: Website Twitter Facebook LinkedIn

- John Philip Sousa

Hello and welcome to the thirty-eighth Personality Pedagogy newsletter highlighting what’s new at http://personalitypedagogy.arcadia.edu.

What’s new this month? Well, it would be hard to top last month’s issue between the lost book of Carl Jung, the 100th anniversary of Freud’s visit to America, and the fMRI of the dead salmon. But just in case you missed these, the big news this month is that you can read old newsletters, comment on newsletters, view the current newsletter or you can even re-read what you missed in last month’s newsletter by checking out our new blog: http://personalitypedagogy.wordpress.com/ You can even receive Personality Pedagogy newsletters via an RSS (“Really Simple Syndication”) feed as soon as they are posted.

In other news, have you ever wondered what happened to Little Albert, the baby who was conditioned by John Watson to fear a white laboratory rat? Well, psychologist Hall P. Beck does some sleuthing and discovers who psychology’s most famous research participant actually was.

In old news, the updated 6th edition of the APA style manual which came out over the summer is riddled with errors and typos . . . and many corrections have been issued, including an unprecedented reprinting of the entire manual!

If you’re new to all the fuss, our links below should help you straighten things out. The corrections include four pages of “nonsignificant typographical errors” and five pages correcting errors in content and problems with sample papers in the book. The APA also released four corrected sample papers in their entireties.

And, according to John Foubert who started a Facebook group called Boycott the APA Manual 6th edition, “I have just received word that After November 2, call APA at 1-800-374-2721, ext. 5510. Ask for instructions on how to go on-line and print a mailing label you can use to return your copy and receive a corrected copy. I don’t know for sure that this will work, but it sounds as though we may have won a victory.”

As ever, please pass this newsletter on to interested colleagues and invite them to sign up for future issues. We hope you get many treats (a new style manual perhaps?) and not too many tricks (typos) this month!

Cheers,
Marianne

Marianne Miserandino
miserandino@arcadia.edu

1. APA Manual Corrections: Overview of corrections (opens in PDF format)

Corrections to the First Printing of the Publication Manual of the American Psychological Association, Sixth Edition (July 2009). “Corrections to the first printing of the manual have been organized into four categories in an effort to group like changes together: Errors in APA Style Rules, Errors in Examples, Clarifications, and Nonsignificant Typos. In the first three categories, each correction is followed by a brief explanation of the change that directs users to the relevant APA Style rule or section in the manual to provide context. Items in the fourth category, Nonsignificant Typos, are simply listed with no explanation, as the majority of these have no direct APA Style implications.” Also includes links to the corrected sample papers.

2. Little Albert: Lost and Found
http://www.mindhacks.com/blog/2009/10/little_albert_lost_.html
http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/amp/64/7/605/

Have you ever wondered what happened to Little Albert, the baby who was conditioned by John Watson to fear a white laboratory rat? Well, psychologist Hall P. Beck does some sleuthing and discovers who psychology’s most famous research participant was and writes about his experience in the American Psychologist, Volume 64(7), October 2009, 605-614. (The first link summarizes his findings, the second directs you to the published PDF version of his paper).

3. Understanding the Anxious Mind

Writer Robin Marantz Henig describes the research of Jerome Kagan and his colleagues who “put the assumptions about innate temperament on firmer footing, and they have also demonstrated that some of us, like Baby 19, are born anxious — or, more accurately, born predisposed to be anxious… babies differ according to inborn temperament; that 15 to 20 percent of them will react strongly to novel people or situations; and that strongly reactive babies are more likely to grow up to be anxious.” in this article from the New York Times Magazine, published September 9, 2009.

4. All about Projection

Psychology teacher Michael Britt created an episode for his podcast called The Psych Files which about projection: “How do the Rorschach, the Thematic Apperception Test (TAT) and the House, Tree, Person tests work? Do you reveal something about yourself when you tell stories about pictures or tell what you see in an inkblot or even when you do something as seemingly innocent as drawing a picture of a house? In this episode I try to answer these questions as well as show you how a wonderful poem called How It Will End by Denise Duhamel could be an excellent example of psychology in everyday life.”

5. How to Give a Good Talk in Psychology or Other Sciences

Kevin Grobman, “wrote the following advice primarily to help psychology graduate students improve their talks at a conference, pro-sem, or brown-bag. By speaking to lots of graduate students (and recently being one myself), I felt the most important areas to cover are developing self-confidence and knowing how to target a particular audience. Most of this advice is applicable to other speakers (e.g., undergraduates), other fields (e.g., business, physical sciences), and other medium (e.g., poster presentations).” Also includes links for a PDF file version of this essay and the 40-minute slide presentation which inspired it.

6. Resilient Kids Learn Better

“Embed lessons on optimism, assertiveness and flexibility into class instruction and you’ll improve a child’s outlook on life, curb his likelihood for depression and boost his grades, according to new research presented at APA’s Annual Convention by University of Pennsylvania psychologist Martin E.P. Seligman, PhD.” according to Amy Novotney, in an article in this month’s APA Monitor on Psychology, 40(9), 32. October, 2009.

7. Epigenetics: DNA Isn’t the Whole Story

“Most people see DNA as the most significant factor in genetics, but when it comes to behavioral differences—even those as complex as mothers’ affection—researchers say we shouldn’t overlook other biochemical factors. Biologists have recently begun looking harder at epigenetics—the chemical modification to DNA that can change genes’ activity—to explain things that basic DNA transcription can’t. This year’s Neal E. Miller lecturer, Michael Meaney, PhD, explained why it’s important to psychology at APA’s 2009 Annual Convention” according to Michael Price, in an article in this month’s APA Monitor on Psychology, 40(9), 34. October, 2009.

8. All Mixed Up

“Madeline H. Wyndzen, Ph. D., a transgendered professor of psychology, discusses her personal experiences with gender dysphoria and critiques the mental illness model of “gender identity disorder” on this page called “All mixed up: A transgendered psychology professor’s perspective on life,the psychology of gender, and gender identity disorder.” Includes links to background information on transgenderism and the psychology of transgenderism, a revision of her autobiography, essays on living a transgendered life, and a discussion of transgenderism in society.

9. Resilience as a Life Skill

Writer and educator Sherri Fisher summarizes important findings from recent studies on resilience that “predict resilience and recovery from high-risk childhood, and success as adults.”

10. What Makes Us Happy?

Joshua Wolf Shenk writes: “Is there a formula—some mix of love, work, and psychological adaptation—for a good life? For 72 years, researchers at Harvard have been examining this question, following 268 men who entered college in the late 1930s through war, career, marriage and divorce, parenthood and grandparenthood, and old age. Here, for the first time, a journalist gains access to the archive of one of the most comprehensive longitudinal studies in history. Its contents, as much literature as science, offer profound insight into the human condition—and into the brilliant, complex mind of the study’s longtime director, George Vaillant.” From the Atlantic Magazine, June 2009.

11. Overview of Adult Attachment Theory and Research
http://www.psych.uiuc.edu/~rcfraley/attachment.htm

From the website: “Research on adult attachment is guided by the assumption that the same motivational system that gives rise to the close emotional bond between parents and their children is responsible for the bond that develops between adults in emotionally intimate relationships. The objective of this essay is to provide people who are new to the field–or people who may simply be interested in learning more about research on adult attachment–a brief overview of the history of adult attachment research, the key theoretical ideas, and a sampling of some of the research findings.”

12. R. Chris Fraley: Research

Visit this page to learn about the research of Chris Fraley on attachment theory and close relationships, personality organization, dynamics, and development, Social cognition and affect regulation, evolutionary psychology, and dynamic modeling, simulation, and psychological methods. Includes links to sleeted publications in PDF format.

Good morning friends.  Each and every one of us  a long journey in life.  It’s a like a flowing river.  Sometimes it’s hard and sometimes it’s easy.  All we have to do is to go with the flow. 

Human life can be likened to a flowing river. What is a river? A river is a unique phenomenon of nature. In the river fresh water is being added to the existing water at every moment. 

This everyday phenomenon is responsible for the freshness of the river water. In the absence of this continuous flow of newly added water, the river will lose its freshness: it will not be able to maintain its health-giving, even life-giving, properties.

The same method is adopted by nature with regard to human beings. As we know, human beings continue to be born, generation after generation. Within a period of a hundred years, the previous generation is replaced by a fresh set of people. If the old water is replaced with fresh water, in human beings this same occurrence takes place in the form of previous generations yielding place to new generations.

A great wisdom lies behind this system set up in human life by nature. Its aim is that the coming generation should learn its lesson from the experiences of the previous generation. By benefiting in this way, we may continue our life journey in a far better way. This is the precious gift of the previous generation to the new generation. This is why the phrase ‘old is gold’ is often used with reference to the older generation.

For instance, a father sees that his son is intelligent but finds that there is one thing wrong with his temperament, and that is his overconfidence. Due to this he suffers losses in life. On seeing this, the father, in the light of his own experiences advises him thus:

Wow, am I still writing about day one of the WA CASA conference?  Yes indeedy. There is a lot to write about, folks!

WA CASA has generously posted all of the conference workshop handouts here: WA CASA conference 2009 handouts.  They are still tracking a couple down, but promise to post them as they come available.

Now, onto my second workshop!

Deborah Duitch, M. Ed presented on the three temperament types of children based upon California’s Program for Caregivers.

All of us have different temperaments.  The nine temperamental traits include:

• Activity level (how much you move around)
• Biological rhythms (regularity or irregularity of sleeping, eating, etc)
• Approach / withdrawal (responding to new situations)
• Adaptability (quick or slow to change)
• Quality of mood (positive or negative most of the time)
• Intensity of reactions (energy level of mood expressions)
• Sensitivity threshold (sensitivity to irritation)
• Distractability (Oh look!  A butterfly!)
• Persistence / attention span (Wait, what were we talking about?)

These traits combine to form three temperaments:

• Flexible “the easy child” (about 40% of most groups of children)
• Feisty “the difficult child” (about 10% of children)
• Fearful “the slow to warm up child” (about 15% of children)

Each child is an individual, just as each adult is an individual.  We have personalities even when we are in diapers.  If caregivers work with a child’s temperament instead of against it, they will have a much easier and happier time with that child.  Not to mention, the child will be happier!

This doesn’t mean caregivers have to “bend to the child’s will” or not have rules and discipline.  It means caregivers can and should

• Be aware of temperament,
• Be creative about solutions, and
• Be flexible about things that are safe to be flexible about without throwing consistency out the window.

To learn more, you can read the very interesting and made-for-the-lay-person handout Ms. Duitch gave us in PDF format here.

As a rule, liberals don’t collect knick-knacks. It’s a matter of temperament. The need to hang onto souvenirs – ticket stubs from some odd concert long ago or the old high school letter-sweater or that special Christmas tree ornament – is missing in them. The past matters, as you are the sum of all your experiences and all that sort of thing, but there’s no need to make a fetish of it all. Sure you keep stuff. We all do. But if any of it goes missing, or the goofy cat breaks that special ornament, you shrug. These things happen. And you have your memories, which are more useful than the particular objects that might evoke them. And temperamentally, you’re more into looking forward, not backward. The past is what you build on, not where you want to stay. Not only are you generally open to change, you expect it. That’s the way life is. And the unfamiliar is pretty neat – there’s always something you just hadn’t known, or something you hadn’t thought of, and things to learn, and new things to experience. It’s fun. Turning over some object from the past in your hands, and thinking of what once was, is boring, really. What’s the point? So even if you get sentimental now and then, or even get maudlin at times, you’re probably not a collector of things. They don’t matter. They’re just things.

And of course the opposite is probably true for conservatives. They generally like mementos – signed photos on the wall, small but tasteful trophies, presentation objects like model planes or historic pistols and whatnot, or perhaps a moose head above the mantle. This grounds them – such things help you keep your bearings in a chaotic world – and it’s a matter of temperament. Some seek to understand the organic continuity of all life, and establish their rightful place in that sequence of the inevitable, while others just feel trapped by all that. And it is generally accepted that people are born with rather fixed temperaments – shy or outgoing, inclined to prudence or always getting into things – and nothing much changes as they age. That’s just how they are. No seminar on how to overcome your shyness, or on how to manage your money for maximum security and a comfortable retirement, is going to change anything.

Of course you know how this plays out in the everyday world. The wife reduced to tears because the husband of many years doesn’t remember the blue dress she was wearing on their first date, or the husband stunned and furious that the wife threw out his favorite shirt, one that he’s been wearing since high school, in fact the shirt he’d worn to that Stones concert back in the day. Each looks at the other, dumbfounded. That mattered? Or the scene down the hill here in Los Angeles, at the convenience store down on Santa Monica Boulevard – the burly guy with the giant pick-up truck idling outside screaming at the Pakistani clerk to speak English to his Pakistani wife behind the counter, damn it, as this is America, and then turning to the white guy behind him in line for confirmation, only to have the white guy say, gee, I don’t know, human language is pretty neat and it’s cool to hear a new one and maybe find out how another language works and how folks express different things. As you can imagine, that didn’t end well. But maybe you had to be there.

But you could have watched the coverage of all the August town-hall meetings on healthcare reform, with all the people who – whether you believed they were manipulated or not, or bussed in, or plants – seemed sincerely distressed. The anger seemed real enough, as did the tears. And in the end it wasn’t about death panels or creeping socialism or the God-given right of giant insurance corporations to make a profit in an unregulated free market, or nasty, dirty people showing up in emergency rooms where they had no right to be. It was about change, about losing the America they knew and loved. That there was a new black and dangerously intelligent and glib president was only a small part of it. It was about the necessary continuity and coherence in life, the expected and inevitable, and comfortable, dissolving before their very eyes. To those of a certain fixed temperament, this was the end of everything. Those of the other temperament, at ease with change and uneasy with the inevitable, might have thought they were stupid, or faking it for political ends. But how could they understand this was sincere? They were not born with that make-up. Neither side was ever going to understand the other.

Of course Fox News played a large part in this, not exactly abetting the town-hall protesters, or even the Tea Bag protestors, in spite of Glenn Beck and his 9-12 Project. Fox News just gave them a home, a place where they felt comfortable. Fox News, with its breathless wall-to-wall coverage, provided a public service, if you will. No, you’re not crazy, and you’re not alone. That kindness, so to speak, got them in trouble. The Obama administration’s take on Fox News – that Fox is not really a news network – was curious. Maybe Fox News hadn’t, in this case, been doing news. And many said Obama was being petty and vindictive, or risked being seen so, while many liberals cheered. Fox angrily defended itself, while others laughed at them, while still others penned columns on the nature of journalism and the philosophic question of whether objectivity and neutrality was ever really possible.

But this may all go nowhere, as a friend explained in an email:

I would venture that many people questioning going after Fox think that it is shoveling shit into the wind. I do not believe that anyone on the left pays any attention to Fox, for fear of apoplexy. And it probably is not a primary source for independents. That leaves the True Believers who are sure that Beck and Limbaugh just stepped off the plane from Delphi. Some may think the dittoheads are now marginalized. But they ain’t going away. Would that it were that simple.

That seems quite right, and an accurate reading of human nature. Some people need those knick-knacks, so to speak. Some people don’t.

But that’s being facetious. It’s far more than that, as Pat Buchanan explains in his most recent column. Of course he has never been a fan of racial, ethnic diversity, or diversity of any kind, but here he comes to the defense of “white working-class voters” who he says rightly feel they’re getting the short end of the stick. You see, public schools no longer endorse and promote Christianity? That’s just wrong. That’s their religion, after all. And white working-class voters’ Christian faith is “mocked in movies and on TV.” Why are these good people being mocked? What did they do wrong?

Steve Benen comments:

I don’t know what channel Buchanan is watching, but the Baseless Victimization Channel isn’t part of my cable package. Did you know that “illegal aliens” are routinely “rewarded with free educations and health care”? Sounds like a pretty sweet deal.

But what it all comes down to is Buchanan saying white working-class voters no longer recognize the country around them. Why don’t people understand that?

And Benen agrees with Buchanan, America was once their country. They sense they are losing it. And they are right.

Benen also points out that, the previous week, MSNBC’s Mika Brzezinski said Buchanan was her favorite guest – “because he says what we are all thinking.” Adam Serwer then said this – “Someone should really ask her about that.”

But she does speak for those born that way, those whose world is continuity, who recognize the inevitable as reality. Ask her what you will. The question will get you nowhere.

But Serwer is bothered by the implicit racism here, Buchanan’s notion that the white world, with its certainties, and the whites in control, is passing:

Black Americans have shed blood in every American war since the Revolution. This country, even the very Capitol building in which today’s legislators now demand to see the birth certificate of the first black president, was built on the sweat and sinew of slaves. Before we were people in the eyes of the law, before we had the right to vote, before we had a black president, we were here, helping make this country as it is today. We are as American as it gets. And frankly, the time of people who think otherwise is passing. If that’s the country Buchanan wants to hold onto, well, he’s right, he is losing it.

Benen says good riddance, but when a black man tells Pat Buchanan that he’s right, that he is losing his imaginary white country, Buchanan is likely to bristle, and double-down.

Andrew Sullivan says he does not quite know what to say about Pat Buchanan’s latest column:

Is it too predictable to note? Or too ugly to record? Or too stupid to ignore? Upon reflection, I’ll go with stupid.

And he examines one simple point:

Notice that for Buchanan, in this column, it is axiomatic that America was once defined by its whiteness. This is what he means by “tradition.” America – once uniformly white – is now, for him and those he speaks for, bewilderingly multicultural and multi-confessional. Hence the anxiety. Hence the panic. Hence, in some ways, the confluence of fear and paranoia among the twenty percent of Americans who seem to feel this way and see the federal government in some way as the enabler of this destruction.

But this axiom, while useful as a myth, has a problem. It is untrue. And this “country” that white Americans are allegedly losing is not, in fact, a country. It is merely a self-serving and solipsistic illusion of a country that some white Americans feel they are losing.

Sullivan argues that from its beginning America was “a profoundly black” country as well:

This took a while for an Englishman to grasp upon arriving here, because it’s so easy to carry with you all the subconscious cultural baggage you grew up with. England, after all, is deeply Anglo-Saxon. It makes some sense to refer to England’s roots and ethnic identity as white, its language as English, its inheritance as a deep mixture of Northern European peoples – the Angles and the Saxons and the Normans and the Celts. And superficially, English-speaking white Americans might seem in the same cultural boat as white English people, dealing with a relatively new multiculturalism in an increasingly diverse and multi-racial society. And at first blush, you almost sink into that lazy and stupid assumption, especially if you arrive in Boston, as I did, and carried all the usual European prejudices, as I did.

The English, lulled by their marinating in American pop culture from infancy, and beguiled by the same language, can live out their days in this country never actually noting that it is an alien land – stranger than you might have ever imagined, crueler than you realized, but somehow also more inspiring than you ever thought possible. This is the America I am trying to make my home, after 25 years. It is not the America of Pat Buchanan’s or John Derbyshire’s fantasies.

His evidence:

It struck me almost at once, if only in the music I heard all around me – and then in so many other linguistic, cultural, rhetorical, spiritual ways: white Americans do not realize how black they are. Even their whiteness is partly scavenged from the fear of – and attraction to – its opposite. Even something as stereotypically white as American Catholicism, I discovered to my amazement, was also black from the very start. (Yes, those Maryland slaves. If you’ve never been to a Gospel Mass in an ancient black Catholic parish, try it some time.)

America is, in fact, a product of racial and cultural interaction:

It fought a brutalizing, bloody, defining civil war over that interaction. Any European student of Tocqueville swiftly opens his eyes at the three races that defined America in the classic text. Has Buchanan read Tocqueville? And that’s why it seems so odd to me that the election of the son of a white mother and a black father is seen as somehow a threat to American identity for some, when, in fact, Obama is the final iteration of the American identity – the oldest one and the deepest one. This newness is, in fact, ancient – or as ancient as America can be. The very names – Ann Dunham and Barack Obama. Is not their union in some ways a faint echo of the union that actually made this country what it is?

That some cannot see Buchanan’s cartoon as a travesty of history remains America’s tragedy of self-forgetting.

And this reminds him of growing up in Britain, a Protestant country that was Catholic before it was Protestant:

As a Catholic growing up in England, and having genealogical roots in both Catholic Ireland and in Doomsday Book England, it took a while for me to appreciate the pied beauty of this identity. Tribalism is a powerful thing, especially for the Irish. I remember one day, as I was herded into the local Anglican church for my high school assembly, thinking: “This ancient building was once mine, ours.” But that was before I realized that Anglicanism itself could not be understood without the profound inheritance of English Catholicism – and that Anglicanism was actually a hybrid of Protestant and Catholic Englishness. And that this was England – all of it. And to be truly English was to own it all.

So fixed and immutable traditions can be the end product of change, and as with hybrid religions, so with race:

Buchanan, of all people, should know better than these tedious recurring explosions of racial panic. And, of course, he does know better. He has read more history than most pundits. He is personally a civil and decent man. But he feels these things in such a profound and tribal way that what he knows is submerged by tribal fear and expressed as hateful hackery.

But maybe this is not tribalism, but a congenital personality trait – the way you’re born, inescapably drawn to stability, not change. Buchanan literally cannot help himself.

And thus Buchanan would never understand this response to Sullivan:

As a southern white man, I was particularly pleased with your description of how “black” our country is. This is a nuanced perspective that few of us seem to see or realize.

I came to the same conclusion ten years ago, spending six months traveling extensively throughout southern Africa. The most salient feeling I encountered was a sense of “coming home.” As “white” as I am, I was completely surprised by this. When I explored the thought further, I realized the profound influence black culture had on me. The smiles, warmth, easy laughter, tasty food, and potent spirituality were all recognizable qualities I saw in the Africans I met and reminded me of so many of my African American friends. But more than that, I saw these qualities within myself.

Unknowingly, I had accumulated them and they had become an inextricable part of who I am. And for that, I was and still am profoundly grateful.

But another of Sullivan’s readers offers this:

Like most young Americans (and Obama voters), I certainly agree that Pat Buchanan is a nut, and I wish he had not added all the bizarre racialism to his essay. But if you strip out the “whiteness” part, a lot of what he says makes a lot of sense. In fact, it mirrors some of the things you have been saying. Unwinnable wars? Huge bailouts that help Wall Street without helping the little guy? Out of control spending? Horrible problem with illegal immigration? A lot of reasonable people think these are serious issues. And Pat was saying a lot of this stuff a long time before it was fashionable.

Pat Buchanan may be a racist, he’s certainly tone-deaf, and he’s never getting my vote. But, while I hate to say it, his essay really resonated with me. One of the pities of the Republican Party is that people like Buchanan, who seem to have legitimate and important conservative points to make, allow themselves to be marginalized by ridiculous discussions of what white people are feeling, whatever that means.

Oddly, Sullivan agrees with this:

I too was complaining about spending when Fox News was ignoring it. I too am deeply concerned about nation-building in places that require long term colonialism to rescue. I don’t see why the border cannot be secured. Or why corporate welfare continues; why it requires professionals to do my taxes; why wealthy seniors keep getting entitlements while poor working families cannot get health insurance; and I too oppose affirmative action and hate crimes laws.

But isn’t this the Republican problem? The party has lost the capacity to convey its ideas with humor and good will or in a way that includes and speaks to non-white and non-Southern voters. (Reagan was rarely angry, always good-humored, civil, adept at arguing, and counted the West as his base. Now think of Huckabee or Romney and wince.) The GOP insults our intelligence with farces like Palin, idiots like Steele, bigots like Inhofe and lunatics like Beck. It expresses anger far more readily than reason or optimism. It rationalizes the evil of torture and the cruelty of discrimination. And its hero worship of the last president would make the most hardcore Obamaphile blush.

I’d like to support a party of the right that made its case with reason and care to the next generation. It doesn’t exist. And it seems further away now than ever.

That may be so, but this may not be a Republican problem. Aren’t you scared to death by all this change these days? Answer, no, not particularly, and you won’t understand Buchanan, or Fox News, or those angrier than ever before that the Obama team is saying that, oh, you know how these Fox guys are, and that’s just not news.

Hey, it may not be news, but it’s not chopped liver. And it may be like that favorite shirt, the one that you’ve been wearing since high school, in fact the shirt you wore to that Stones concert back in the day. Sure it’s old, and falling apart, and hanging onto it is wholly irrational, if not absurd. But you just cannot let it go. That would leave a hole in your heart. That would, somehow, really be the end of you. You know that in your bones. And that’s the way you are. And. Similarly, an imaginary white America in an imaginary 1952 is your totem object, to turn in your hands, and think of what once was.

How can you argue with that? But then, you’re losing it.

och bestämt mig att fortsätta skriva min blogg. Syftet med bloggen var bland annat att få ur mig sådant som gör mig: upprörd, arg,  ledsen,  glad,  mållös och som jag behöver ventilera överlag, då jag är en temperamentsfull person och vägrar bära saker inom mig. Anser att det inte alltid är på sin plats att ösa ur sig saker till en vän i tid och otid, därför har bloggen varit ett utomordentligt komplement. Jag har genom andras bloggar fått bearbeta bland annat min oro, rädsla, stundvis panik över förlossningen med Carl och sorgen över att förlora min pappa till cancern. Många har stöttat och tipsat om hur livet trots allt går vidare och vetskapen om att man inte är ensam har varit den största trösten av dem alla. För vem vill inte få ärligt medlidande utav någon som upplevt precis samma sak?

I bloggen  har jag valt att skriva om min vardag. Allt från vad jag gjort, gör, göra skall till hur andra påverkat mig. Att det sedan inkluderar människor som skriker åt mig att sluta skriva “lögner”, bekommer mig inte längre. Jag tog beslutet att fortsätta skriva så som världen faktiskt ser ut……ur mitt perspektiv. Jag vägrar vara en marionettdocka i dessa människors spel, där fasaden ger falskt sken av att allt är puttinuttigt när det i själva verket är helt trasigt. Att som vuxen ha makten och missbruka den i form av kuvande av sitt barn – gör MIG upprörd och därför reagerar jag. Vi har väl alla varit barn, känt oss missförstådda, drömt om ett bekymmersfritt liv och önskat att den goda fen skulle vispa till ett under med sitt lilla trollspö.

Om mina känslor, tankar och ord får er ur balans, så sluta läsa min blogg. Jag har inte bjudit in er till varken läsning eller någon som helst kontakt what so ever. Lägg mer vikt på  grundläggande familjeförhållanden än besattheten av att förfölja mig och mitt liv på nätet.

Flegmatici (nEAS) – Oameni ai obisnuintei, respecta principiile, sunt punctuali, obiectivi, demni de incredere, ponderati. Egali in dispozitie, in general impasibili, sunt de asemenea rabdatori, tenace, lipsiti de orice afectare. Nutresc un profund cinism, religia lor avand un caracter mai ales moral. Au adesea un foarte viu sens al umorului. Le plac sistemele abstracte. Valoarea dominanta: legea.

Asta e temperamentul meu

In short, YES.

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http://www.americanthinker.com/2009/10/did_we_elect_a_beta_male_as_pr_1.html

October 05, 2009

Did We Elect a Beta Male As President?

By Greg Lewis

We’re all somewhat familiar with the body language dogs display when they greet each other. The dominant alpha male approaches directly, asserting his authority, while the beta male genuflects, crouches, tucks his tail, and may even end up on his back, exposing his neck in acquiescence, making sure the alpha male knows he has no intention of challenging him. With his “we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist” opening to the world’s dictators, the President is exhibiting classic beta male behavior, in essence rolling over on his back and exposing his throat to them to make sure they know he has no intention of challenging their authority.

Previous info on SC Marine base ban and temperament testing: http://stopbsl.com/?s=marine

Ironically, only 2% of the banned dogs on the base proved, through temperament testing, to actually pose a danger. The other 98% of “aggressive”-type dogs were shown to be safe family pets.

The testing was not performed on non-banned types of dogs. If the goal of the policy is to protect base residents from aggressive dogs, why weren’t the temperament tests done on all residents’ dogs? Why weren’t all aggressive dogs removed from base, and the non-aggressive ones left alone, regardless of their physical appearance?

Contact info for Marine Corps spokesperson
Headquarters Marine Corps 1st Lt. Brian Block
The Pentagon, Arlington, Va.
(703) 614-4309
brian.block@usmc.mil

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/unleashed/2009/10/two-of-85-dogs-ousted-by-aspca-from-south-carolina-marine-bases.html

Two of 85 dogs ousted from South Carolina Marine bases for aggressiveness

October 9, 2009 | 11:26 am

Most of the pit bulls, Rottweilers and canine-wolf mixes assessed at Marine bases in South Carolina this week get to keep their Marine dog tags.

Of 85 dogs from the three breeds checked by experts from the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, only two were found to be so aggressive as to pose a danger to Marines and their families. Those two will have to leave base housing. Two others showed aggressive tendencies but one will work with a trainer and another will be neutered.

The Marines have banned the aggressive breeds, because their “dominant traits of aggression present an unreasonable risk to the health and safety of personnel.”

Last year, a 3-year-old boy was fatally bitten by a pit bull at Camp Lejeune in North Carolina. Owners who can show thorough assessments that their pets present no danger to humans or other pets may get waivers and keep them on bases through 2012.

The pets at the Parris Island Marine Recruit Depot, the Marine Corps Air Station Beaufort and the Beaufort Naval Hospital were assessed by experts from the ASPCA during three days of tests this week.

“We believe breed bans cannot be effective because of this. We found some really great animals and families,” said ASPCA animal behavior expert, Emily Weiss, who said individual assessments are preferable. “We don’t think it’s a breed issue. We think it’s an individual behavior issue, and what we saw at the base verifies that,” said Weiss, who said it was the first time the ASPCA had done such assessments for the Marines.

“We saw a lot of big, macho dogs, but they were safe dogs,” she said.

Capt. Brian Block, a Marine Corps spokesman, noting what happened at Camp Lejeune, said “having one dog who would do that is not an acceptable risk from our point of view.” He said pet owners at other Marine bases can have their dogs assessed by veterinarians.

“If the dog passes the temperament test, that’s great. The dog gets the waiver,” he said. “We think pet ownership is absolutely fantastic for the morale of our Marines and sailors who live on base. But our point was to make a judgment that it’s not worth it to have dogs that are dangerous on base,” he said.

– Associated Press

Below is a comment to the “Temperament-Anxiety-Sleep Link” post. We liked it so much, we are going to repost it here:

Marc,
As you and I have discussed, many young children referred to my practice for either anxiety, or disruptive behavior are actually simply over-tired. By instituting an earlier bedtime, and a more predictable bedtime routine, parents of children in my private child psychology practice have seen their child’s anxiety or disruptive behavior either greatly diminish, or completely resolve. I tell parents that it is much easier for me to treat a well-rested child than an over-tired one. Even for children with significant emotional, behavioral, or developmental difficulties, regulating the child’s sleep is a necessary ingredient to overcoming their challenges.

Robert E. Daniels, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Executive Director,
Chicago Children’s Clinic
http://www.chicagochildrensclinic.com

Article courtesy of voiceofsandiego.org by Keegan Kyle on Sept. 28, 2009.

Animals that demonstrate aggressive behavior while at county animal shelters are less likely to be adopted than well-behaved animals. Photo: Sam Hodgso

The euthanasia room at the San Diego County Animal Shelter is similar to any other medical workstation, except that it’s scattered with empty cages.

The cages symbolize the passing of about 6,200 animals last year that were abandoned, lost or wild. They came from all over the county with varying degrees of behavior or health problems. Some were put down because of these problems, but some simply failed to attract a suitable owner.

The county animal shelter has a policy of euthanizing “no adoptable or treatable animal.” To the shelter, “adoptable” is a technical term for healthy and friendly. Animals that fall outside that definition, although also available for adoption, may be euthanized if the shelter is short on space or if keeping the animal alive would be inhumane.

Of the animals euthanized by the shelter last year, about one in six suffered from lifelong conditions the shelter calls “manageable.” A domestic cat with respiratory problems or a pit bull with a distaste for other dogs could both provide human companionship, for example, but their manageable conditions would take more attention than the average adoptable pet.

“It’s not the category that changes (an animal’s) adoptability; it’s how he presents himself to the public,” said Dawn Danielson, director the county Department of Animal Services. “A dog’s temperament is hard-wired. An owner can train or manage behavior but the dog’s core personality will not be changed.”

In determining an animal’s category (and their proximity to the euthanasia room), behavior is the biggest gray area. Veterinarians can assess healthiness with tests and procedures, but an animal’s behavior can change drastically with its environment. Some household dogs or cats behave poorly in the shelter, and that hurts their chances of adoption.

“It’s not an exact science,” said Lt. Dan DeSousa of the County Animal Shelter. “We’re fine tuning what we call a behavior-safety issue and what we call a behavior-management issue.”

An animal with behavior-safety problems faces the highest risk of euthanasia because it’s viewed as a risk to public safety. An animal with behavior-management problems has socialization issues, and it would have to be limited to certain situations. A dog afraid of crowds would have to be more restricted or eased into larger group environments.

That type of understanding can take a special owner or somebody familiar with animal behavior.

“An ‘adoptable’ animal is something that anyone can take home,” said DeSousa. “For those that we consider to be behavior manageable … it comes down to can somebody manage that?”

In recent years, the shelter has euthanized fewer animals with safety issues but more with manageable problems. DeSousa said that might be a reflection of a trend to categorize more animals as manageable, giving greater attention to the idea that aggression can be managed. Danielson said that the bad economy may be making people less willing to take on manageable animals.

A number of animal rescue groups have stepped in and taken aggressive or medically ill animals to foster homes or more attentive environments than the county shelter. Those groups are also facing economic pressures with fewer donations, Danielson said. Some of the groups have volunteers who specialize in dealing with a particular breed or certain medical procedures to help an animal become more adoptable.

“I think it’s good to let people know that animals put down aren’t necessarily aggressive or suffering, but just not able to recover from whatever they have in a kennel setting at a shelter with limited funding,” said Micaela Myers, spokeswoman for Pit Bull Rescue of San Diego.

Of the 1,100 animals euthanized last year with manageable conditions, the pit bull was its most frequent canine victim. The county shelter killed 373 pit bulls, 407 domestic cats and 369 other animals. The totals do not include animals euthanized at an owner’s request.

Among all domestic animals, cats are one of the biggest challenges for the county animal shelter. Feral cats account for the largest number of euthanized animals each year and few owners reclaim their pets. About 38 percent of lost dogs are reclaimed by the owners but only about 3 percent of cats, DeSousa said.

County Supervisor Pam Slater-Price has been more vocal on animal euthanasia than most of her colleagues on the board. She said killing animals with a manageable condition could conflict with the shelter’s policy of not killing adoptable animals.

“Overall, it would,” Slater-Price said. “Right now what we’re facing is a tough situation. We have more animals coming and fewer people willing to adopt them. … We do everything we can.”

No animal advocate likes the idea of killing animals, but Slater-Price and the shelter recognize euthanasia as a reality that comes with being a county animal shelter. It’s required to accept all animals and try to arrange an adoption before space becomes a problem.

Although 6,200 euthanized animals might sound large, DeSousa said space has not become a problem and the number of procedures has fallen dramatically in the last decade. The shelter killed 8,200 animals in 2005 and about 35,000 in 1999. San Diego’s euthanasia reduction program earned accommodation from the National Association of Counties and Danielson said the shelter has one of the highest save rates in the country.

The county started to reduce euthanasia procedures in the late 1990s when shelters across California came under increased scrutiny for animal treatment. Slater-Price helped lead the charge to create a “no kill” facility by 2005 but accomplished the goal in 2003. Despite its direct meaning, a “no kill” policy still allows for animals with behavior or medical problems to be euthanized.

Most animal shelters stopped using the term “no kill” after officials realized the obvious confusion, and San Diego followed suit. Today, the term is described by some animal rights advocates as a “rallying cry, a slogan that defines a movement.”

Slater-Price said she wishes the county would have a strict “no kill” policy, but she realizes that wouldn’t be feasible. The county is required to kill some animals by law and it deals with a large feral cat population annually.

“My goal still remains that an adoptable animal is not killed but to do that, we need the help of the public,” Slater-Price said. “People need to get their pets spayed or neutered. We actually see tangible results from that.”

Spaying, neutering and adopting could have saved a huge portion of those 6,200 animals that were euthanized last year.

The majority of the dogs that are “aggressive” or having behavioral problems are merely just frightened. They no longer have a home, are in a cold unfamiliar place with many different dogs and people they are not used to. They don’t know where their family is and their lives have been turned completely upside down.

I have no doubt if my dog were ever to get out and put in a shelter she wouldn’t have a chance. Bailey is not very well socialized with other dogs, has separation anxiety and barks to get attention. Those qualities would make her an “un-adoptable” pet and she would be euthanized. Since she is my baby I know her behavior and manage her less than desirable qualities.

Everyone that meets Bailey is initially put off by her overwhelming need to attract as much attention as possible. As soon as she feels she’s drained every drop of LOVE out of you she calms down and people fall in love with her endearing human like nature.

As for breeders, please understand that we already have far too many homeless pets that are sentenced to death every day due to the mere fact that there aren’t enough willing families to adopt them. You are only adding to the problem. The person that purchases your pet could be saving a life at a shelter. If you truly love your dogs think about them one day ending up in a shelter and probably euthanized due to the purchaser losing their home, losing their job, a divorce, a new baby, or just not wanting to care for the dog any longer. Your adorable puppies could be just another hopeful wagging tail in a shelter someday faced with the very real threat of this being their last day.

We all need to make an effort to be responsible pet owners and unite to fight these very sad statistics.

Adopt and save a life.

Don’t breed or buy while shelter pets die.

Spay and Neuter your pets.

If you’re not part of the solution you are part of the problem. Me included!

On my autograph book (alam ko pang-elementary lang 2, pero bakit ba,hehe), one of my classmates in college described me as a silent storm..

Maybe she noticed that I’ve got a bit of a temper..

Yes, I do.

Calm and collected as I always seem, but I am definitely a handful if I become mad.

This evening, one of the shift managers commented, “pasensyosa ka kasi kaya ka nilagay sa special shift”.

Okay. I get this all the time.

Little did they know is that I’m definitely trying my very best not to get pissed off each I’m talking to a stupid and obnoxious customer who is a know it all.

I’m actually exhausting all my chakra (energy) each time I’m under such pressures.

I don’t like being mad. It gives me a negative vibe so as much as I can, I try to be patient.

I hope they won’t push me through my limits.