Out of curiosity (and randomness) I experimented digging – for no reason. It is done with 10fps, repeating several clips.

Hello, we haven’t met in ages. I recently wanted to experimented with different degrees of smoothness, here I tried it with 12fps.As you can see it is fairly smooth – but not the smoothest I can do…. I used this random ‘gangsta’ guy for testing, he is being tested while we speak.

I logged onto facebook today to discovered that Vivian had gone through most of Michael’s old notes and commented “dislike” on all of the ones that involved me. (Oh, yes, Michael, don’t think I don’t know who she is. I don’t need to stalk; it’s pretty evident. >_>)
Being reminded of these old notes wasn’t fun.
In fact, I’d forgotten all about them.
I won’t deny it: I completely see why she’d begrudge these notes. I mean, any normal girl would easily hate “The Ex”. Reading the notes, I don’t doubt she’d wonder what else had been talked about that she never knew about. I almost feel sorry for her that she had to see those notes. >_< Most likely she stumbled upon them by mistake. I certainly wouldn’t have wanted to see (or even know of) them if I were in her position.
But I kind of think she dealt with it immaturely. By commenting on those notes, she reminded us all of something we probably don’t need (or want) to remember. And poor Amaris keeps getting dragged into the mess, too. >_< If she really does have a strong opinion on it (and I don’t doubt that, either) she’d have been better off talking to Michael in person about it. Not announcing her displeasure publicly.
But then again, I have no idea what’s going on. Quite possibly she’s dealing with it in a way that I know nothing about. I was almost about to send her an inbox message and request that she not try to bring things like that back up, but… now that I think about it, it’s probably better to do nothing. After all, considering the anecdotes Michael tells, she could quite possibly despise me.

Sigh. The stupid past.

Meanwhile, in the present, I still haven’t received an answer. >_>
Surely you’ve made up your mind by now! It’s been nearly a week!

I had three tests today. T_T
First block English, the in-class essay on Hell. I hadn’t prepared at all for the essay because I’d been studying chem the night before (using the terribly-written textbook, since Conrad has my review pkg). But this morning in a slight panic, I pulled out my notes from this summer about Dante, and somehow I ended up with enough materials to make up five pages of essay. There were some things I didn’t even end up using. Hah, so no need to worry after all!
Then, immediately next block, the chem test on energetics. I hadn’t anticipated that the two would be right back-to-back, but I think I did all right on both.
There was a bit of a break in between, where we watched a documentary about the Korean War. 
Finally, the math test. TRIG. T_T I remember being really good at trig back in grades 9 and 10 and even 11. Well, today was paper 2, calculator-active, so it turned out a lot better than I feared. I was able to answer all the questions on the first three pages… unfortunately, I ran out of time for the last page. Bye-bye, 14 marks.

Afterwards, I rehearsed Life Is A Road with Jireh for the first time. We added a bit of harmony and adjusted the notes and who-sings-which-lines a bit. I think we sound pretty good! He just needs to sing a bit louder during his solo bits… and I need to quiet down when I’m on harmony so that I don’t overpower him. XD No worries. It’ll be good at the Christmas banquet.

All in all, a very busy, stressful day… but I’m okay.
It turned out balanced — an equilibrium of good and bad things.
… wow, physics on the brain. T_T (If only I could channel that on tests.)

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• Subjects experts
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So I can’t say that this past Thanksgiving has really given me much to be thankful about. My mum and I officially aren’t talking anymore and I’ve found out that my aunt has cancer. This is like the 8^th person I know in my family alone to be afflicted with cancer. And let’s not forget that my friend passed away at the age of 25 from pneumonia. It’s been a grand week.

It’s been a week that has brought me into serious reflection. A week that has made me stop and look at my faith-look at God and ask the question, Is He even there?

I’m sure that my Christian and Muslim comrades would reassure me that He is there and that this is just a test and trial of my faith but my question is: Why would you test those who already believe? I’m sure that my Christian and Muslim comrades would say that I need to be faithful and pray and that God will help me through this difficult time…really? Does God heal amputees?

At some point I’d be told that this is God’s mercy, His justice- I’m beginning to think that what we call God’s justice is really what we would do if we were God. And mercy? What kind of a merciful God inflicts cancer on a woman who is half way blind, diabetic, trying to take care of her mentally handicap daughter, not to mention her grandchild and has recently been let go from her job? Oh that’s right- God’s ways aren’t man’s ways.

What a bunch of bull shit.

As I’m sitting here looking at everything, looking at my study of Mormonism and looking at my practice of Islam, I’m asking “what’s the point?” I’m beginning to think, there isn’t one.

Instrucciones: Lee determinadamente la pregunta y elige la opción con la que mas estés de acuerdo

1. ¿Crees que estas preparada para tener relaciones sexuales?

a)  No

b) Si

   2. ¿Por que crees que estas preparada?

a)              Porque ya me desarrolle

b)              Porque quiero compartir mi intimidad, mi afecto y comunicación con mi pareja

c)               Porque mi pareja me presiona

d)              Porque todas mis amigas ya lo han hecho

    3. ¿De quien es la decisión de iniciarse?

a)              De alguien mas: presión de otros( amigos, compañeros, etc.) o de a pareja con la popular” prueba de amor” (“ sino haces el amor conmigo, significa que no me quieres)

b)              De ambos componentes de la pareja

c)               Solamente tuya 

 4. ¿Sobre la base de qué criterios tomaste

 la decisión?

a)              Pasion y deseo

b)              Comunicación oportuna en pareja basado en respeto mutuo, valores y creencias personales

c)               Curiosidad sexual mutua

d)              Presión de pareja, amigos y/o entorno   

 5. ¿Lo planificaste con el tiempo suficiente considerando todos los riesgos? ¿Tomaste las prevenciones necesarias?

a)              No

b)              Si

  6. una vez tomaste la decisión, ¿entiendes que esta no es absolutamente definitiva y obligante? Es decir, ¿Ambos están preparados para entender que existen situaciones personales que pueden retrasar el acto sexual para otra oportunidad sin que eso añada una presión adicional?

a)              No

b)              Si

  7. ¿Tomaste el factor amor como elemento fundamental en el proceso de la toma  de decisión?

a)              No

b)              Si

   8. ¿Qué tan importante fue el factor amor en la decisión?

a)              Poco importante

b)              Muy importante

Auto evaluación: Si tus respuestas las mayorías son de la opción B, esta lista para tener relaciones sexuales. Si no, pues no te preocupes. Te sobre tiempo para prepararte. Y para prepararte bien. No tiene sentido que inicies tu vida sexual si no quieres hacerlos y no estas preparada para ello…Paciencia!!

J’ai testé pendant une semaine un lait démaquillant de la marque française La Clarée, qui fait des cosmétiques bio. Leurs produits sont labellisés Ecocert, sont denués de parabens, silicones, OGM, produits pétrochimiques, colorants, parfums synthétiques, phénoxythénol, ne sont pas testés sur les animaux et leurs emballages sont recyclables

Il fait partie de la gamme “Oliv”, à l’extrait de feuille d’olivier et antioxydante.

Mon avis n’est pas guidé parce qu’on me l’a envoyé pour un test, mais c’est sans doute le meilleur démaquillant du marché que j’ai eu l’occasion d’utiliser. Il est très confortable, il laisse la peau nourrie, hydratée, douce, le démaquillage est un vrai moment de plaisir. J’ai été très agréablement surprise, car je ne suis pas une fervente utilisatrice de ce genre de produit.

Prix constaté : 16 € pour 150 ml

Well November is nearly past and it is time for another reflection on what was going on a year ago.  I think this will be the last of these “a year ago reflections.”  After this there were not too many events of note.  Just the long and slow grieving process which is still continuing of course…

…In the months following Abigail’s death we were pretty much in a daze to be honest.  A week after the funeral and I was back to work in a very public way heading the annual conference for the charity I work for.  The work was easy enough.  But having frequent head tilt “how are you” conversations with people was challenging.  Some people really wanted to know and could cope with the truth but others just wanted to go through the motions and hear that you were getting there (wherever there is) and that you could quote some vague religious platitude.

It wasn’t long before I found myself referred for more infertility tests picking up from where we had pulled out when we found out we were pregnant with Abigail.  Both my wife and I wanted to get as much of this behind us before we cared again.  We had had two and a half years of disappointment leading up to Abigail being conceived and we were not looking forward to the monthly rollercoaster of trying to conceive again.  So yes in the months that followed I had numerous opportunities to have intimate relations with a cup, go for physical examinations, blood tests, an ultrasound (on me this time!) and the rest.  I remember the first time I went to see the urologist consultant, I had to walk through the maternity unit and see lots of pregnant women waiting for their ultrasounds.  It was so unfair that here I was going to see if anything could be done to see if we could get pregnant when here were all these women who were already there.  If only we could reset and reboot – go back to when we were pregnant and play it again and see if we got a different outcome.

In the weeks following the funeral we knew that the first week of December was going to be especially jarring.  We had Abigail’s post-mortem results on 1 December and her due date was 6 December.  I booked the week off work and before long, these dates were upon us.

My wife and I discussed the PM results before the day and we both felt that anything less than a 1 in 4 chance of recurrence would not be enough to stop us trying for another baby.  1 in 4 might be enough.  We had a strong suspicion that Abigail had died from a genetic condition.  Some of her fingers and toes had been fused together and that seemed a strong indicator of a chromosomal cause.  Even as I write this now, I hate the idea that some readers might think “ah well in that case she was left than perfect/not normal so perhaps her dying was probably for the best.”  Someone said basically that in a card to us once!  Let me be as clear as I can.  Abigail may not have been perfect – nor are any of us! – but we loved her as if she was.  If she had lived we would have loved her with all our hearts no matter what challenges she would have faced.

The day of the post-mortem results came and we dropped our son off with friends and walked in to the hospital.  We had done this so many times for scans and now we repeated that well-known routine.  We parked the car and had five minutes to spare so we walked along the street outside.  We then went into the waiting area and this was the one time I felt the hospital let us down.  We were in a maternity waiting area surrounded by posters of babies, mothers with babies, mother’s breastfeeding their babies to “give them the best start in life”.  This was also the room where we had had anti-natal classes when we were pregnant with our son.

There was one mother-to-be and grandmother-to-be waiting.  They were very chirpy and talking excitedly about their pregnancy.  We were not chirpy but very sober.  At one point the grandmother-to-be even made a comment about how we seemed very serious.  I nearly told them we were there for our daughter’s PM results but restrained myself.  Altogether we waited about 25 minutes past our appointment time and that was hard in that room.

Finally we were taken into the consultant’s office.  Our doctor, Paul had been great during the pregnancy but by now we were quite on edge.  He had a student doctor with him.  A girl who seemed about 17 (probably 23).  I doubt she had done one of these before.  Paul came straight to the point and said that he was sorry for the delay but the formal PM report had not come back to him so he had been getting the results over the phone.  Abigail had had triploidy.  This was a condition that resulted in a lot of miscarriages but not many babies made it as far as birth.  All in all it accounted for about 1 in 50,000 live births.  It occurred when a baby had 69 instead of 46 chromosomes.  It was always fatal and no baby had lived beyond 10 months with triploidy.

The good news (!) was that it was a fairly random event and was not likely to recur for us.  Say 1 in 100.  There was no reason we couldn’t try for another baby – other than ongoing infertility problems that is.  Ironically the majority of triploidy cases occurred when 2 sperm fertilised one egg.  Madness – none of my sperm were good enough to get to the egg but when one finally did a second one did too!  Stupid sperm.  Grrrrrr.

Here is a final email I sent to all our friends and family who had been receiving updates during Abigail’s short life.

There are two ways to tell you about the PM, the first is medical – what we know and think.  We now know that Abigail had a genetic condition called triploidy.  This results in quite a lot of early miscarriages but it is very rare to last as long as we did.  It only affects about 1 in 50,000 births.  It is lethal with most triploidy babies being still born or with an average life expectancy of 10 hours after birth.  It is not hereditary – as the doctor puts it we were struck by lightning.  This is a relief as otherwise there would have been a chance that [our son] could have faced similar problems in his future.  That said we do face an increased risk of this or similar happening to us again of about 1 in 100.  This is a lot lot lot better than 1 in 4, but not as good as nothing!  Stating the obvious there.  So overall not as bad as we feared but not as good as we could have hoped.

The second way to talk about these results is not what we think or know, but how we feel.  Abigail was conceived into a fallen broken world as we all were.  But, we do not love her one tiny bit less for this.  We do not think of her as imperfect in any way more than everyone else alive today including you and me.  We certainly don’t want people telling us it was a mercy she died when she did, or that we have been saved from more heartache.  If we had had 10 hours with her we would have treasured those 10 hours.  We do treasure the limited time and limited contact we had with Abigail – we always will, it has tremendous value to us as her parents.  Even though we know now that she was never going to survive we still grieve the life and the potential that she had in our hearts and dreams.  We will remember the milestones that never occur even if they could never have been.  I share this side of it with you because as our friends and family we want you to understand and be comfortable with the simple fact that at this simple level Abigail remains part of our lives and part of our family.  We hope you can be part of this too and feel comfortable talking about this side of things with us.  We do not expect or want this to be a morbid thing but a way of valuing the person Abigail was and is.

One final thing, this verse has been helpful to us from Lamentations 3 v32-33

Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,

so great is his unfailing love.

^For he does not willingly bring affliction

or grief to the children of men.

We do not expect to understand why this happened to us, but we will accept it.  And we know that God is good and faithful.

We had ended up arranging to visit friends for the weekend of Abigail’s due date.  This was probably a mistake.  We were struggling to function and it was all fairly chaotic at our friend’s house.  They had other people staying and four children so the house was quite crowded and we didn’t really have an opportunity to talk meaningfully.  In the middle of bedtime routines the Dad of the home said something to the effect that it felt like he had 18 children to put to bed.  I came close to saying “lucky you” but again restrained myself.  These people were (and are) good friends but we were not in a good place.

At one level Abigail’s due date didn’t have the meaning it might have had.  If Abigail had lived she would have been delivered by C-section much earlier than this date.  But looking back further to finding out we were pregnant, this was the date we had been told was her due date.  Over the entire length of Abigail’s pregnancy this was the date we had expected to be filled with joy.  Instead we were just getting stuck into the grieving process and wondering whether we would ever get pregnant again.  Not a very acceptable exchange really!

In the run up to Christmas we felt increasingly lonely in our grief.  The support that had been so tangible in the first few weeks now faded into normality for others and raging grief for us.  People moved on but we did not.  There was nothing new for people to say to show their support and we increasingly found it unsatisfying being around people.

We had a few days away with some friends in a holiday park and I remember getting into an argument about gender specific appropriate activities.  It got quite heated until I eventually explained that I was arguing from the point of view that Abigail had been a girl and therefore I wanted to imagine her in pink and doing ballet dancing not football lessons.  Stupid really.

We then stayed for a weekend with some friends who had driven an 800 mile roundtrip for the Abigail’s funeral and given a massive donation to Abigail’s fund.  We had hoped to catch up with them and share where we were at with Abigail.  But basically they couldn’t hack any conversation about Abigail at all.  Whenever she was mentioned they would immediately change the subject.  We hated that weekend more than anything.

But that was compensated by the fact that we then spent an evening with some friends who had suffered three miscarriages and ongoing infertility problems.  They were so understanding and happy to talk about Abigail.  This has been a valuable lesson to people – how comfortable people are with suffering seems directly related to how much they have themselves sufferred.

For Christmas we have always had a tradition of buying a new decoration for the tree each year.  This year we bought a bauble with Abigail’s name on it.  This was on the tree this first year and will continue to be part of our Christmas tree for years to come.  It was good to be able to recognise her in our family Christmas.

3020876    การตรวจหน้าที่ของปอด    Pulmonary Function Tests

วิธีการใช้เครื่องมือตรวจสมรรถภาพปอด การเจาะหลอดเลือดแดงและคาเข็ม ในหลอดเลือดแดง การเป่าลมการวัดปริมาตรปอด อัตราการไหลขออากาศ ความสัมพันธ์ระหว่างอัตราการไหลขอวอากาศ และปริมาตรของปอดสมรรถภาพปอดขณะออกกำลังกาย การประเมินผลสมรรถภาพปอดก่อนการผ่าตัด

(How to use the instruments for testing pulmonary functions, such as arterial puncture, arterial catherization, spirometry, measurment of lung volume, air flow rate, relationship between flow/volume and lung function during exercise and preoperative evaluation of lung function.)

(3020876 จุฬาลงกรณ์มหาวิทยาลัย)

Bertrand Croissant, err..., Baguette!

Good morning, mates. Next week the last tests of the F-1 season wil take place in Jerez de la Frontera, Spain. The goal is to evaluate young drivers who shone recently, and every team of the grid in 2009 but Toyota will be present. McLaren, it’s worth to notice, has yet to nominate its line up.

The tests will last for three days and after that there’ll be no more sessions until the end of the year. Here’s the line up:

BMW
- Alexander Rossi (F-BMW Americas 2008 champion)
- Esteban Gutierrez (F-BMW euroseries 2008 champion)

Ross Racing
- Mike Conway (british 2006 F-3 champion)
- Marcus Ericsson (japanese 2009 F-3 champion)

Ferrari
- Jules Bianchi (F-3 euroseries champion)
- Daniel Zampieri (italian F-3 2009 champion)
- Marco Zipoli (italian F-3 2009 runner-up)
- Sanchez Lopez (italian F-3 2009 third place)

Force India
- J.R. Hildebrand (2009 Indy Lights champion)
- Paul Di Resta (2006 F-3 euroseries champion)

Red Bull
- Daniel Ricciardo (british 2009 F-3 champion)

Renault
- Bertrand Baguette (2009 Renault World Series champion)
- Lucas di Grassi (GP2 2007 runner-up)

Toro Rosso
- Brendon Hartley (F-Renault 2.0 2007 champion)
- Mirko Bortolotti (italian F-3 2008 champion)

Williams
- Andy Soucek (F-2 2009 champion)
- Nico Hulkenberg (GP2 2009 champion)

Tomorrow I’ll be traveling to the north for a special event. I won’t reveal where or what it is now, but I promise I full cover of the trip late in the weekend. See you there.

Cheers!

I stayed behind after school today because of the UBC info session. (At lunch, there was also a McGill session, and I’ll definitely be applying there, too.) I could’ve gone home and come back, but I didn’t feel like walking the 20 min trip and then back again. Yicheng and Conrad stayed behind as well, so between 3:30 and 6:30, I was able to spend the three hours somewhat productively.

We listened to loud Asian music on Conrad’s cell phone while I reorganized my folder. (It had gotten so full these days that I couldn’t even close it. T_T) Then, I studied chem and managed to work through half the review package. Yay. Yicheng frequently interjected with questions about Macbeth and Paradise Lost, and I was able to explain a lot of interpretations to him. That helped all three of us, because Yicheng now understand the passages, I was able to practice talking as though it was an IOC, and even Conrad claims that he was listening and therefore acquired some insight. I guess I should feel proud of myself that I was able to sort of “teach”. To be honest, I’m really glad people are asking me questions about random passages. This is definitely the best way for me to practice for my IOC.
Btw, I’ll be going FIRST out of the whole class next Tuesday. Hooboy. X_X Dueck told me aside that he was making me go first because he knew I’d “be able to handle it” (that is, the stress of going first). I think what he means is that he hopes I’ll be able to not fail, and then I’ll come out of the oral NOT freaking out, which he hopes will make the other IB kids less stressed out when they see me. :\ I wonder how well that plan will work. T_T It all banks on how well I do on my IOC. And I guess it makes sense — if I freak out, that’s likely to affect the other kids, too.

Anyways. The UBC info session. The presenter, Yusuf, kept picking on me (and I him) and it turned into a humoured battle. I was feeling really guilty about it (and kept trying to assure him that I wasn’t trying to be hard on him out of a malicious intent), but at the very end he actually thanked me and told me that my casual way of teasing him and making conversation made him feel comfortable presenting to our group. Supposedly, this was one of the easiest presentations he’s ever given. Yay? That’s good news. Often I accidentally give off a cold demeanor and make people feel UNcomfortable.

I don’t think I want to talk about the math or physics tests today. T_T Let’s just say they didn’t go so well. On the other hand, I have three more tests tomorrow: math paper 2, chem topic 5 unit test, and an in-class essay in English on Hell in Milton vs. in Dante.
I also stupidly REQUESTED another test from Mr. Flink. -_-;; A month ago we did a test on math topic 1, and while I did fairly well in the sequences section, my logs failed. So lately I’ve been going through the textbook and relearning all the logs and lns — and I guess I wanted to prove myself to him or something, because I asked for another “assessment” … aka a test. We scheduled it to next Tuesday… and then I looked at my agenda. Tuesday is my IOC. GREAT. GENIUS, Anne. What a genius. >_>

Finally, he approached me a couple of times today. I think he’s made his decision. But everytime, I was in conversation with another guy about something completely unrelated, and he ended up not saying anything. But his mood seemed like he was getting ready to deliver bad news, so… I’m worried. I don’t think this will end well.

On another note, I’m preparing a song with Jireh for the Christmas banquet. I’m surprised that it’s a bit high for him, but it’s fine. We can transpose. Which is what I did earlier today on Kevin’s piano. Writing out sheet music by hand is HARD, though. >_< Hopefully I’ve brought it down enough for him… if we go any lower, it’ll be too low for my range! XD He’s saying he wants to do the song with a full band — as in, drums, guitar, piano. Whoa. O_O That was unexpected. I was thinking acapella… drums, max. Guess we’ll need to find some musicians ASAP.

P.S. Happy 44th birthday, mother.

This first post is a test to check for categories and picture loading!

Despite what the title might imply, I was not dancing because I failed a test. The two subjects are really just tangentially related, but do go somewhat hand in hand.

To start of with, tests at MIT are really hard. For physics exams, you have two hours to do 6 problems. In math and chem, you have to do 6 problems in an hour. And they’re all really hard problems. So far, I have failed three tests: one math, one chem, and one physics. Sometimes, I feel really depressed right afterwards. Most often though, I absorb it and start looking forward to the next one. Generally, I’m pretty positive about tests, and am pretty fine when I fail them, especially as I’m on Pass/No Record, which means that you either pass a class or you never have taken the class. Here at MIT, though, you don’t strive to get an A though, because if you do, you’ll be really disappointed because you won’t get it very often. There will be times you will be happy to just get a C and pass. It’s intense.

One thing that I’ve discovered at MIT that I’ve had a lot of fun doing is dancing. The first time I went dancing, I went to a folk dance event put on by my church. It was so much fun, and, since it was right after the math test I failed, it cheered me up a lot. Then I went swing dancing with a friend who I had met during my FPOP. We had so much fun together, and became inspired to dance more and become better dancers. Unfortunately, we haven’t been able to go since then because she has a p-set due the next day, so she needs Wednesday night to finish it up. But we’re going to try to work out a time to go.

Anyways, there we are: failing tests and dancing. Failing tests — not so fun. Dancing — so much fun. I don’t hope to do much for of the 1st, but I hope to do a lot more of the 2nd.

Šodien tā mazliet aizskatījos uz tekstu “Par interesantāko manā un Tavā pasaulē” šīs lapas augšējā daļā un sāku domāt par to, ka tekstiņa beigas it kā ceļas uz augšu un vajadzētu to pielabot vai uzrakstīt par jaunu. Taču tad es nolēmu pagooglēt, varbūt tam ir kāds skaidrojums. It kā biju dzirdējis, ka tas ir saistīts ar optimismu vai kā tamlīdzīgi.

Izrādās, ir vesela zinātne – grafoloģija – kas pēta rokrakstu. Lai gan dažādos avotos informācija par cilvēka personības atspoguļojumu rokrakstā ir pretrunīga, kaut kāds kopsaucējs tomēr ir. Eksperti parasti apskata ļoti daudz (esot ap 300) rokraksta iezīmes, bet, protams, testēt un aprakstīt šo visu būtu šausmīgi gari. Tāpēc interesantajā daļā apskatīsim, ko nozīmē dažāds burtu slīpums, burtu lielums un rindiņas virzīšanās uz augšu/leju.

No dažādiem avotiem izrakstīti skaidrojumi:

1. Slīpums

a) Pa labi – neliels slīpums pa labi nozīmē, ka cilvēks labprāt sadarbojas ar citiem, ir atsaucīgs.

b) Taisns – stingri stāv uz zemes, parasti neskrien līdzi modes tendencēm, ir savs viedoklis, kuru prot aizstāvēt, uz šādiem cilvēkiem var paļauties

c) Pa kreisi – atturīgs, notiek iekšēja cīņa pret kādiem notikumiem, bailes no gaidāmā

2. Lielums

a) Liels – pārliecināts par sevi, spēcīga personība, piemīt egoisms, nelabprāt atzīst savas kļūdas, enerģisks, darbīgs, ļoti sabiedrisks, bet neizvēlīgs cilvēks. Tāds cilvēks ir gudrs, bet savas labestības, atsaucības, devības, dažreiz – bezbēdības dēļ pret cilvēkiem, tam trūkst viltības.

b) Mazs – kautrīgs, nelabprāt uzstājas publikas priekšā, ar noslieci uz pārspīlētu precizitāti, aukstasinīgs, savaldīgs un bieži – noslēgts cilvēks. Tomēr, šāds cilvēks esot brīnišķīgs, smalks un gudrs sarunbiedrs, apveltīts ar humora izjūtu un pašironiju. Ekstremālās situācijās tāds cilvēks kļūst par stingru, autoritāru līderi.

3. Rindiņas iešana uz augšu/leju

a) Rindiņa beigās ceļas uz augšu – godkārīgs un izlēmīgs cilvēks.  Savu mērķi tāds cilvēks panāk, neaizmirstot par godu un pienākumu.

b) Rindiņa beigās virzās uz leju – iniciatīvas neesamība, apātija, pesimisms.

Šis tekstiņš diezgan labi atspoguļo manu rokrakstu, es to rakstīju uz baltas lapas stūra, pēc tam fotografēju, un tam piemīt: 1. b, 2. b un 3. a

Bieži gan rokraksts ir savādāks, atkarībā no tā vai steidzos, vai sēžu/stāvu kājās, taču, kad papētīju sevis rakstīto dažādās vietās, rokraksts galvenokārt ir taisns, diezgan smalks un dažviet rindiņas beigās ceļas uz augšu. Lai arī ir apgalvojumi, ko par sevi pateikt nevaru, šie apgalvojumi caurmērā ir man atbilstoši.

• Kā Tu raksti? Vai raksturojums atbilst?

I don’t know exactly what the Dream is but I take it as my
relationship builder. In my view we make relationships stronger or looser by altering out mind and remaking the way we think of someone or some group. That way we can be totally a new person if we got to get some real effective experience in the dream. We don’t remember dreams very often. We remember it as a very small segments and some only. Most of the dreams we forget so those makes them no values at all.

I don’t know about you, but I find it very very depressing that I can’t find the Δ symbol on Microsoft Word, so I have to come all the way  to wordpress to copy/paste it over. >_> Same for the degree symbol. Seriously, Word, get better symbol shortcuts!

This lab is giving me so much grief, but after redoing it 4 times (can I cry yet?) I finally managed to get the answer to 70.1 kJ/mol… which is reasonably close to 91.7 kJ/mol. Hurrah!
But I still have to type the whole thing up. T_T Even though I wrote out a good copy by hand. Typing all these numbers and symbols is torture.

That’s just the chem lab. The test is Friday.
And tomorrow, I also have a math test and a quantum physics test…
neither of which I’m prepared for at all.

Meanwhile, Kevin started weaving yarn on a cardboard loom. What?!
Yesterday he broke a thread and started crying because he thought he’d have to start all over again… and that’s when my father finally got annoyed. “Stop crying and be a man!”
I’m still not sure whether he was referring to the weaving or the crying. O_o;;

These days we job applicants are assailed not just by illiterate person specifications, but also by the particularly piquant pleasure of the on-line psychometric test. These are supposed to alert employers to, well, to what some psychologist believes one can infer from the enforced answering of bizarre questions. Since I’ve perforce become familiar with being on the receiving end of these charades, I now cringe with shame that I allowed my Head of HR to persuade me that they should be introduced for some high-level posts at my last company.

Generally these tests ask you to say which of 4 statements is most like you, and which least. About 150 times usually, with different combinations, sneaky repetitions, and seemingly designed to force you into either inconsistency or lying about yourself.

An example: I’m modest about my achievements; I do most of the talking; I don’t like keeping to the rules; I keep a tidy desk.

Next question: I’m prepared to stand up for what I believe; I get anxious before big meetings; I keep my own counsel; I don’t like to show my emotions.

And always, you must tick the most and the least like you. Usually, having ticked that which is most like you, you end up having to tick something as least like you that you don’t believe, but which is the least daft choice. Or vice versa. Try them out and see. But although you can often look at an individual question and give a sensible answer, it’s the sheer number of questions, and the way they force you into corners, that most frustrates and demoralises.

At the final question I’m asked what best describes my current emotional state: You want to slit your throat from ear to ear; You feel like throwing your computer in the bin; You would glady throttle the writer of this exercise. I tick all three. The computer says I can’t tick them all. Oh yes, I fucking well can.

“Tell me, Mr No-Job, how long have you had this difficulty with anger management?”

“Oh, about 45 minutes. In fact, ever since you started asking me these damn-fool bloody questions!”

But sadly, my future employment may yet depend on this psycho-babble nonsense.

Well, here we are, Day Number Four. It’s raining (the unavoidable kind – at least two articles of clothing are going to get wet), and I have no choice but to go outside. So, with my Doctors note in hand, with a list of 5 different tests he wants me to get, I head out on my quest to cure myself.

Half of the tests on the list I don’t even understand. The last one on the list I can’t even read. One of them is just called ‘US’ – ‘US’ could stand for so many things! ‘United States’ (not likely), ‘Useless Scholar’ (what?), ‘Unimaginative Slacker’ (not me!). ‘Unlikely to Survive’ (…)

Here we are in the waiting room. Believe me when I say it took a good while before I was just sitting and actually waiting in this room. The receptionist taking all my information could barely understand my English (who can blame her?) so I was forced to speak my butchered version of French. And that took a while. Something that should have taken 5 minutes, took about 20. I was also a little worried that this was going to cost me a small fortune. When she started writing down the price and I saw the number ‘3′ leading the amount, I hoped for a comma to show up real soon. Next number, ‘1′. (Comma, comma, comma). Her hand blocked the rest and as she handed me the piece of paper, I was absolutely terrified of seeing ‘3100 euros’. Thankfully it was only ‘31 euros’.

So, with the fear of going bankrupt out of the way, I was left to my own devices in the waiting room. There wasn’t much to really look at, nor was there anything to take pictures of – except my feet. It was at this precise moment that I realized I was there for tests. My previous assumption of being ‘poked and prodded’ at was incredibly naive. ‘Marayna, you idiot, testing usually involves blood’. And to get blood? ‘You need needles’. Crap. It’s okay – the nurse didn’t laugh too hard  as she stabbed me and stole 5-thousand quarts of my blood.

Now, what kind of lab, that takes your blood, makes you go down a flight of stairs afterwards? I contemplated sliding down the railing, but that may have been the possible malaria influencing my decisions.

Okay – fetus graffiti. Seriously? What kind of message is this sending to people? ‘Fetuses – Surviving on wet pavement since 1867. If only there were a way out.’

Tomato juice and water in a wine glass. Tobasco and celery salt optional. Sorry – I have absolutely nothing clever to say about this photo. I’m not even sure why I took it.

Yes, this looks utterly disgusting. It’s French Onion Soup. But in Paris they just called it ‘Onion Soup’. Despite how grotesque it looks in this photograph, it was delicious and probably the only thing I’m capable of eating – so back off!

Being a huge fan of the ‘thumbs-up’, it says a lot when I choose to sport the ol’ ‘thumbs-down’. Can you blame me? I don’t necessarily enjoy having needles shoved into the crook of my elbow. I’d make the worst heroin addict.

To make myself feel better, this is what I’m having for dinner. A sundae, one café creme, and water in a wine glass. And one sip of red wine.

Tomorrow – Ladurée for macaroons and some cocktails as crazy as Aunt Judy.

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