When  Chad Johnson legally changed his name to Chad Javon Ocho Cinco, I thought it was a brilliant move for several reasons. First of all,the sales of the the new Ocho Cinco jersey will sky rocket…We all know how Johnson has grown frustrated with the Bengals as an organization, that a few seasons ago seemed to be on a verge of a Super Bowl berth. With a myriad of arrest, waiving key players, and a consistently inept offense, I see why Chad wants to get out of dodge. 

Now the NFL (a.k.a. the NO FUN LEAGUE) is hating, once again. Ocho, is not yet allowed to wear his new name on his jersey according to NFL spokesman Greg Aiello , “He has a financial obligation to Reebok, which produces the jerseys available to fans. That has to be resolved before the on-field jersey can be changed. “The same obligation exists for any player that changes his number or name.”

 SOURCE: AP NEWS

Hello Reebok! Don’t you realize that the Chad Johnson jersey is one of the hottest sellers in the NFL? Once the ‘Ocho Cinco’ jersey is ready for sale it will still be a top selling jersey. When Kobe changed his number to 24, I don’t think the NBA had a problem with that, and it was still the best selling jersey after the number change. How can Reebok have issues with changing Johnson to Ocho Cinco, when last season they did not seem to have a problem when they decided to discontinue the sell of the the #1 selling jersey at the time which was Mike Vick?  Reebok sucks anyway. When was the last time you said to yourself, “ I gotta save up some money so I can buy those new hot Reeboks I saw at Foot Locker”.

When Ocho leaves the Bungles at the end of the season, wouldn’t you love to see him and T.O. on the same team? They would be the Boston Celtics of the NFL. It could happen, Ocho wants to  get paid and go to a  Super Bowl. Jerry Jones has deep pockets and wants to win every game. Ocho and T.O. also share the same agent, a bulldog by the name of Drew Rosenhaus that can get the deal done.  Other than that, I would love to see Ocho suit up for the Falcons.  Atlanta fans deserve another superstar after the Vick situation(I am still bitter about that one). That would sell tickets in the dome and instantly make the Falcons a relevant team. Just imagine hearing this, “ Ryan to Cinco for sies!

 Marvin Lewis is always bitching about Johnson’s ‘antics’, this name change will be the straw to break the Bengals back, thus liberating Ocho from the “Nati’. And the way things look so far this season, Marvin “Hot Seat” Lewis may not be too far behind. After a horrible week one performance (I will try not to be too biased, due to the fact that Carson Palmer is the QB of my fantasy team) it is evident that the Bengals have reverted back to being the ‘Bungles’ once again. Chad Johnson is one of the Top 3 WR’s in the league, and he is just spinning his career wheels in the ‘Nati’. As an organization, the Bungles have made moves that will ensure them a first round pick in the 2009 draft. Waiving Rudi Johnson, with no dependable back up was just…stupid! Rudi was the workhorse for years in the “Nati”, and posted good numbers when he was healthy. Coming off of last years injury, he added 15 lbs of muscle to his frame to prove his commitment to his team. What did they do? They threw up the deuces to Rudi. The only excuse for getting rid of him was that he was “injury proned”. Chris Perry, now the Bungles #1RB has never completed a full NFL season due to guess what…injuries. Perry is a former Michigan Wolverine, and we all know that Michigan running backs have a tough time adjusting to the NFL. Just look up Tim Biakabatuka, B.J. Askew, Anthony Thomas, and Mike Hart.  If Perry missed several games as a back up, he most likely won’t make it through week 7 before you will see him on the side line rocking the Reebok visor and sweat pants. Kenny Watson is #2 on the RB depth chart. Watson filled in for Johnson and had some flashes of brilliance, but has not had enough carries to be considered a legitimate threat out of the backfield.  An offense is only as good as it’s front line, so what did the Bungles do to make matters worse?  They got rid of a their best offensive lineman, 13 year veteran tackle, Willie Anderson. Dumb move!  The tackle is like the bodyguard of a QB, they keep the QB upright and alive. Anderson has done that for 13 seasons. Expect to see a lot of chunks of grass in Palmers’ facemask this season. 

The moral of the story is: The Bengals are stupid! Ocho, I will check to see if I can get you a buddy pass  from the Cinncinati to Dallas so you can rock the star on your helmet next season.

A lot of you may not be aware of this, but I have been going back and forth with the top brass at Nike about directing viral commercials for them.  We finally came to an agreement a couple of months ago, and they let me shoot my own Nike commercial.  I know a lot of you may have seen a similar commercial on youtube, but this the real deal.

In the viral ad Kimbo is training LT in his own back yard, including a bench press with a pole and to AC units.  Using the old fridge as a punching bag was a good touch to give it that real hood feel. And lastly, LT was leg pressing a small car (maybe a dodge neon). It was funny and very innovative even for Nike. In true Nike Fashion you only see the shoe for maybe three seconds.  After LT was criticized so heavily in the media last year for not playing in the championship game, because of his injury, the mainstream media kept telling us how selfish, uncommitted, and cowardly he was.  I think this ad pokes fun at those idiots whoe were saying LT was too hurt to play.  The dude touches the ball 400+ times a year with and gets hit every play, how is he weak? Just because he was injured? I hate haters… Charger fans don’t get upset, although it looks as if he is really punching the fridge, and leg pressing the car. There is no way he was really doing that with his huge NFL contract. Let’s remember there is a concept in film called visual effects. However, Kobe did really jump over the Aston Martin…What? I saw it on youtube so it must be true.

Check out the new Nike ad  below.

Just playing, I did not really shoot the Nike ad, but with the simplicity of the commercial I actually could have shot it.  As I have been reading what other sites are saying about the LT Kimbo commercial, the majority of the mainstream media thinks that the ad is horrible. I love it though.  On one hand you have Kimbo Slice, who has gained a cult following for busting people heads to the white meat throughout south Florida. Then you have one of the most marketable guys not just in the NFL, but in all of sports,  LT. Nike Puts two guys with drastically different personas in a commercial together and it worked.

Some say the commercial is not authentic because LT is not a “hood guy”.  Let’s remember that LT is from humble beginnings in Waco, Texas which is not far from where James Byrd was killed  by  a lynch mob and tied to the back of a truck that was driving down the street.  Even if you are from Bankhead and live next door to T.I. and across the street from Shawty Lo, I bet you have never seen anyone being dragged down the street with their body tied to a pick up truck.  Besides, LT will always have ’street cred’, he was the first player ever to win the Heisman Trophy with a gold tooth. I am sure he was bumping UGK in his iPod on the flight back to Texas.

Nike is known for signing athletes early in their career before they become mega stars i.e. Jordan, LeBron, Darrin McFadden, Mike Vick, and now Kimbo Slice.  MMA is becoming one the most watched sporting events in Amerikkka, so if Kimbo rocks Nike while in the ring, you can chalk up another victory for team Nike!

REAL FIGHTERS DON'T NEED LIPS......IS KIMBO GOING HOLLYWOOD?

Kimbo Slice, the real-life version of “Debo”, was scheduled to co-star in a children’s movie “Kung Fu U” with Hulk Hogan. The film is being produced by Stereo Vision Entertainment, Inc. The film production company issued a press release stating that Kimbo Slice was set to co-star in the movie on July 30th. 

Stereo Vision’s Chairman, “Baywatch” creator Doug Schwartz, stated, “We’re very happy to have Kimbo Slice co-starring in ‘Kung Fu U.’ He has an enormous media presence, and he’ll fit right in with our star Hulk Hogan, and the other cast members in our made for kids 3D movie. We hope to have ‘Kung Fu U’ in 3D in theatres by the fall of ‘09.” 

When I first read this I thought this would be a great move for Kimbo to reach a broader audience. Also it would also be nice for him to live the pampered life of an actor for a few weeks,  as opposed to beating the ish out of people for a living. Only a few days later, August 8th to be exact, I read that Kimbo was no longer involved with the film.

Aug 08, 2008 (BUSINESS WIRE) —-Stereo Vision Entertainment, Inc. (OTCBB: SVSN), a film production company focused exclusively on developing high quality, low cost, polarized 3D feature films, announced today that due to a misunderstanding among the agents involved with the Kimbo Slice deal, Stereo Vision is retracting the press release announcing that Kimbo Slice was to co-star in Stereo Vision’s Kung Fu U 3D movie. Stereo Vision will therefore be seeking a suitable replacement for that role.

With Kimbo’s growing popularity this kids movie  would have done huge numbers at the box office. Everything that Kimbo is involved in gets crazy high ratings, just look at how many hits he has on youtube. So I wonder what the real reason was as to why Kimbo is no longer part of the movie. In the press release from he film company they claim it was a “misunderstanding” among the agents involved in the deal.  I am willing to guess they were trying to underpay Slice so they could reap more profits at the box offices and with merchandise (you know they already had plans for the Kimbo Slice action-figure).

MY TOP 3 REASONS KIMBO SLICE IS NO LONGER INVOLVED WITH “KUNG FU U”

1. The More Cake Theory:  Kimbo makes a ton of money making appearances and fighting on the MMA circuit with a undefeated record (3-0). I am sure his agent fought for Kimbo to get a slice of the merchandising and DVD sales of the movie, but co-starring with the infamous Hulk Hogan the film producers know where their bread is buttered and probably told Kimbo’s agent to kick rocks. Besides, the Hulkster probably has Andre The Giant sized legal fees to pay after his son nearly killed his homie who was riding shotgun as the young Hogan totaled his car while racing on the highway in Florida. 

2. Buffoonery Theory:  You know Hollywood will never change. They probably looked at the stature of Kimbo and probably wanted to make him perform some buffoonish acts on the silver screen. You know how they like to make the big black guys do dumb shit, like dress up as a woman (Ving Rhames, Tyler Perry, Tim Crews) or play the “big dumb” black guy role (Michael Clarke Duncan “The Green Mile”, “Planet of the Apes”) Although Kimbo is an initmidating figure, I don’t believe he is stupid, just look how he promoted him self from street fighting in the MI-yayo to being a world reknowned figure in the hottest sport in the country. 

3. Mr. T: By playing in a comedy flick for kids this could ruin his credibility  to play a believable version of B.A. Barrakus in the A-Team movie. For example remember Lorenz Tate? He played the uber thug ‘O-dog’ in MENACE II SOCIETY. After that he played a punk ass coming of age teen in the INKWELL, and then he played the drug addicted role of Frankie Lymon in WHY DO FOOLS FALL IN LOVE. But, it was a wrap for him after that. Playing those ’soft’ roles, he will never be beleivable a tough guy again, and I don’t want to see Kimbo trying go LOVE JONES on us by doing romantic spoken word poetry in a film…ever! The 80’s are hot right now, you know they will be coming out with an A-Team movie. Even though Kimbo rocks the braids on the side of his bald dome (somebody needs to tell him to cut it off, but I ain’t that brave) with the right stylist he could pull off the perfect Mr. T.  When he is  casted as Mr. T, he will get major cake and become even more popular. And remember…you heard it here first.

My last two cents on Kimbo…I know he is a beast, but why is he shaving his chest hair?  Maybe the fame is getting to his head or maybe he is on some L.L. Cool J pretty boy ish.  Check out his picture below…He has a line up on his chest…WTF? Part of his intimidation is his menacing look, but shaving his chest hair is very metrosexual. Kimbo please…no more pectoral shaves. Keep the chest naps a.k.a. taco meat, and continue dominating in the ring. Maybe he can start shaving his chest hair after he gets a couple of movies under his belt.  With the way Hollywood promotes metrosexuals, Kimbo (minus the ‘taco meat’) will blend right in.