I’m going to introduce a new concept here that will affect how I rate films. It’s called the “Walken.” Look at a Walken like an x-factor. I’ve aptly named it a Walken because often if you see a film and it has Christopher Walken in it, it’s immediately more interesting than one without. He just makes things better. Is True Romance at all memorable if Christopher Walken isn’t in it? No. Who is involved in arguably the funniest SNL skit of all time? You guessed it — Christopher Walken (and if you don’t know what skit I’m talking about, I reject you as a reader of this site.)

Joe Dirt? Ok, that’s already an awesome film. But Christopher Walken just makes it that much better. Mousehunt? Really? Mousehunt? I’m going there? Yes, I am. Walken plays an eccentric exterminator who goes insane trying to catch a mouse, but ultimately fails. He sniffs excrement. He talks into a tape recorder like he’s profiling a serial killer. You can’t make this stuff up. Shit, actually you can. Who else can play that role but Christopher Walken? No one else makes it memorable. NO ONE. And if you try to tell yourself otherwise, you’re an idiot. I’m sorry, that’s just the way it is.

So I hope you get the point. If you don’t, then you simply need more Walken in your life. But that’s what I am here for. And this is exactly why I’ve created the Walken factor. So how will I implement this into reviews? Well, to start, Walkens won’t come easy. The basic criteria is to ask yourself, if I removed this character/aspect from the film, how is it affected? Would I watch this again simply because of how many Walkens it has?

Finally, a film can receive a maximum of 10 Walkens. But again, it’s not that simple, and just because a film doesn’t have any Walkens, doesn’t mean it’s not good. Many won’t.

Let’s take Bad Lieutenant with The Cage. I think it’s pretty obvious who gets credit for Walkens here. And for my inaugural Walken assignment, I’ve decided to award Nicholas Cage 5 Walkens. You take out Cage’s performance and you’ve got such a mudane, run of the mill, detective story. But Cage is out of his mind and it’s awesome. I also think it’s appropriate that I’ve chosen Cage to receive the inaugural Walken rating because a point could be made for this system to be named after Cage himself. He’s just as crazy as Walken, does just as many bad movies, and is equally as awesome in as many bad movies as good. You may not agree, but this is my site and I make the rules.

Congratulations, Nicholas Cage, on your reception of 5 Walkens.

The Cage

Thankfully I got to read non stop for about several hours uninterrupted and without distractions. It was nice. So, I got to do two reviews in a day

The Cage is the story of Riva and her family who are Polish Jews and are living through the second World War. You are looking at the world through Riva’s eyes as she struggles to survive and take care of her brothers while avoiding being rounded up and deported. You read with her as first she lives through the ghetto, then eventually gets deported and separated from her family. From them on, Riva has to survive on her own and try to survive through the horror of camp life.

I thought it was a good book. I’m assuming it’s a memoir of the author’s life (once I read her biography on Wikipedia). This book sounds vaguely familiar and I believe I have read it before a long time ago but nevertheless I thought I might as well read it again. It’s a small book with less than 200 pages and I was so interested and engrossed in it that it took me several hours to finish it. I wanted to keep reading to see what would happen next, I wanted to know how she managed to survive through the entire ordeal and still manage to keep hoping and to keep living. Riva is one of the most strongest characters I have ever read so far.

I admired Riva for having to take care of her brothers through the hardships of living in the ghetto. Then having to be forcefully separated, she had to survive on her own and she never lost hope. It’s as if she drew strength from losing her mother to give her the will to stay alive. Although the situation was always bleak and survival is never guaranteed, it was amazing to see how Riva managed to continue to hope even in the face of this kind of adversity.

There were a few things with this novel that I did not quite agree with. First I noticed it’s somewhat catered to children and I sort of have to wonder about that. I realized children should be taught about this moment in history but I think this book really should be catered towards teens as this story surrounded Riva in her teenage years. It just seems to make more sense. Also, I found the flow of the narration to be a little jumpy throughout the first half of the book. It was first one major event then it just skips directly to another there wasn’t real flow to put the two together into one smooth transition, it felt almost as if it was the writing was rather haphazard.

Overall though, a touching Holocaust story and not one to be missed. The story tells you that without hope, there really is nothing to live for and it’s a lesson to learn for everyone in future generations to come.

I give it an 8 out of 10

This weekend was the book fair which supports the local libraries here where I’m at. If you buy 5.00 worth of books you get a free coupon where you get a brown paper bag and fill it with as many books you like. So. You probably know what I’ve been doing this weekend I have two paper bags. They’re not really filled but it’ll do. Unfortunately there wasn’t much today (Sunday being the last day of the fair) but I did find a few things to fill the bag to up to half. So today, I’ll be putting these books in my excel spreadsheet. After that, reading will commence! I’ll be looking into the following for today:

The Cage – Ruth Minsky Sender

The Hunger Games – Suzanne Collins

No Wind of Blame – Georgette Heyer

What’s everyone reading today?

Okay so here it goes…I LOST MY VIRGINITY THIS WEEKEND!!!!!

Nothing like that, get your minds out of the gutter.  I built a photo sphere and put in a green background.  Then I asked a friend to pose with me.  Did a quick upload to PhotoShop Elements (I am cheap), cleared out the green (okay not all of it…but i was in a rush), found a silky background. and finally added text.  There you have it:  Doris Day and Rock Hudson.  He appearing to want her, but always staying a fingers length or “party-line” away.  Both very hot, especially Doris Day’s voice.  Man she would have made a great Phone Sex operator!

NOTE:  Photo Sphere is a sphere…hollowed out and opened up with color applied to the inside.  I made the outside flashy with some tin/aluminum looking skin.

I did one more STR8 shot (lol) of me just with a white background.  In my brocade look with plain pants.  Which was unfortunate, as I wore this to THE CAGE and they were having fancy pants night.  And me, the king of fancy pants was all plain…oh well…Shit Happens.

Put on Kilt

Undergarments Not Required

And a Pair of Micky Mouse Ears…