Satan is a Republican.  Have you ever seen Satan and a Republican in the same place?  I mean besides Dick Cheney!!!

Both Satan and Republicans enjoying damning people to hell.  Both Satan and Republicans enjoying torture, torment, inflicting pain and distress, and stripping humanity of dignity.  You see Satan is  a Conservative. Republicans are  cheerleaders for Satan.  They delight in enumerating the damned and increasing the rolls of public miscreants by making more and more private behavior illegal.

Beelzebub is a neo-con!

The below “contracts” were some stuff I threw together for a buddy of mine’s satan costume. We all found them amusing and actually got random strangers to sign them. These contracts are listed below for your entertainment. There are some minor editorial errors in them but for a one night deal I’m to lazy to fix them.

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Binding Contract

General Contract

To writ, know ye that who ever reads and signs this legal and binding document is forthwith required to provide to the contract provider, one immortal persona impression, forthwith referred to as a “soul”. This soul shall be provided in exchange for an item, ability, and so on defined by the signing party as being of equal value to their soul. This item, ability and so forth*, shall be specified and agreed upon by both parties in appendix B which will then be signed by both parties, witnessed by representatives for both parties and notarized by a licensed attorney in hellacious affairs. Further witnesses such as priests, imams, rabbis and various other holy men are not recommended. Contract is in effect immediately upon signing and the removal of soul and transfer of the item, ability, etc shall take place immediately. Sign on the line in blood if possible, in black ink if not. (Blood is always possible, man up and prick your damn finger)

X_________________________________

*Restrictions on the above item, ability and so forth may possibly apply. Any questions as to the eligibility of an item and so forth for trade can be directed to Hell, Legal and Administration Division, Contracts Department

Terms and conditions may and almost certainly do apply. The signer of this contract posses the right to play a game of their choice in an attempt to win back their souls if the contract is not their approval. However these games will all be incredibly biased against the signing party and any whining will only have the effect of them being called a massive pansy and perhaps a chicken. Say is it just me or is the text getting even smaller? How odd you should likely getting a magnifying glass out or something. There may be something important hidden in this massive amount of text based bull shit. I mean hell you never know right? Now it’s even fucking smaller, how far am I going to go with this retarded ass gag? I mean you must be a real dip or have way to much freaking time on your hands if your even reading this. Fuck is it getting even goddamn smaller> I doubt any one can read this shit by now… I should go int to housing contracts or something like that, I mean this is really good practice and mortgages are the big leagues for stealing souls. Any way it’s small enough now that we can put in the small text which is that the devil reserves the right to trick your dumb ass out of your soul for no compensation and furthermore reserves the right to take a very literal interpretation of whatever it is that you request. This can and does result in some very unfortunate circumstances for you, but we don’t care. So eat it bitch.

Binding Contract

Musical Talent

To writ, know ye that who ever reads and signs this legal and binding document is forthwith required to provide to the contract provider, one immortal persona impression, forthwith referred to as a “soul”. This soul shall be provided in exchange for musical prowess and fame in a genre defined by the signing party as being desirous and of equal value to their soul. This prowess and fame in the specified talent, shall be agreed upon by both parties in appendix C which will then be signed by both parties, witnessed by representatives for both parties and notarized by a licensed attorney in hellacious affairs. Further witnesses such as priests, imams, rabbis and various other holy men are not recommended. Contract is in effect immediately upon signing and the removal of soul and transfer of the item, ability, etc shall take place immediately. Sign on the line in blood if possible, in black ink if not. (Blood is always possible, man up and prick your damn finger)

X_________________________________________

A further requirement of this contract is making at least five songs in your new career dedicated to Satan and Hell. (For examples see ACDC, Rolling Stones and several other notable rock bands. Sympathy for the Devil is particularly good.

Terms and conditions may and almost certainly do apply. The signer of this contract posses the right to play a game of their choice in an attempt to win back their souls if the contract is not their approval. However these games will all be incredibly biased against the signing party and any whining will only have the effect of them being called a massive pansy and perhaps a chicken. Say is it just me or is the text getting even smaller? How odd you should likely getting a magnifying glass out or something. There may be something important hidden in this massive amount of text based bull shit. I mean hell you never know right? Now it’s even fucking smaller, how far am I going to go with this retarded ass gag? I mean you must be a real dip or have way to much freaking time on your hands if your even reading this. Fuck is it getting even goddamn smaller> I doubt any one can read this shit by now… I should go int to housing contracts or something like that, I mean this is really good practice and mortgages are the big leagues for stealing souls. Any way it’s small enough now that we can put in the small text which is that the devil reserves the right to trick your dumb ass out of your soul for no compensation and furthermore reserves the right to take a very literal interpretation of whatever it is that you request. This can and does result in some very unfortunate circumstances for you, but we don’t care. So eat it bitch.

*Fame is not and cannot be guaranteed, by the terms of this contact you will be provided with everything to make it big, but after that… your own your own fucker.

Binding Contract

Academic Excellence and/or Genius

To writ, know ye that who ever reads and signs this legal and binding document is forthwith required to provide to the contract provider, one immortal persona impression, forthwith referred to as a “soul”. This soul shall be provided in exchange for intelligence to the point of genius in general or in a field defined by the signing party as being desirous and of equal value to their soul. This intelligence, shall be specified and agreed upon by both parties in appendix I which will then be signed by both parties, witnessed by representatives for both parties and notarized by a licensed attorney in hellacious affairs. Further witnesses such as priests, imams, rabbis and various other holy men are not recommended. Contract is in effect immediately upon signing and the removal of soul and transfer of the new level of intelligence shall take place immediately. Sign on the line in blood if possible, in black ink if not. (Blood is always possible, man up and prick your damn finger)

X_______________________________________

*Restrictions on the intelligence may possibly apply. Any questions as to the eligibility of an item and so forth for trade can be directed to Hell, Legal and Administration Division, Contracts Department

Terms and conditions may and almost certainly do apply. The signer of this contract posses the right to play a game of their choice in an attempt to win back their souls if the contract is not their approval. However these games will all be incredibly biased against the signing party and any whining will only have the effect of them being called a massive pansy and perhaps a chicken. Say is it just me or is the text getting even smaller? How odd you should likely getting a magnifying glass out or something. There may be something important hidden in this massive amount of text based bull shit. I mean hell you never know right? Now it’s even fucking smaller, how far am I going to go with this retarded ass gag? I mean you must be a real dip or have way to much freaking time on your hands if your even reading this. Fuck is it getting even goddamn smaller> I doubt any one can read this shit by now… I should go int to housing contracts or something like that, I mean this is really good practice and mortgages are the big leagues for stealing souls. Any way it’s small enough now that we can put in the small text which is that the devil reserves the right to trick your dumb ass out of your soul for no compensation and furthermore reserves the right to take a very literal interpretation of whatever it is that you request. This can and does result in some very unfortunate circumstances for you, but we don’t care. Please note that because your intelligence is artificially inspired instead of produced naturally or as the result of god deciding to not be a prick to you. Satan and Hell Industries own the rights to any and all patents your produce for the period of your remaining existence, this is because we also own you. Kinda sucks when you don’t get to keep any of the shit you put out doesn’t it bitch?

Contratto obbligatorio

Contratto generale

Al decreto, sappia che voi quello che mai legge e firma questo legale ed il documento obbligatorio immediatamente è richiesto per fornire al fornitore del contratto, un’impressione immortale di persona, immediatamente citata come “anima„. Questa anima sarà fornita in cambio di un articolo, abilità, ecc definita dal partito di sign come essendo l’utile uguale alla loro anima. Questo articolo, abilità e così via *, sarà specificato ed accordato su da entrambi i partiti nell’appendice B che allora sarà firmata da entrambi i partiti, sarà testimoniata dai rappresentanti per entrambi i partiti e notarized da un avvocato autorizzato negli affari hellacious. Ulteriori testimoni quali i sacerdoti, gli imam, i rabbini ed i vari uomini santi non sono suggeriti. Il contratto è in effetti immediatamente sulla sign e la rimozione di anima ed il trasferimento dell’articolo, dell’abilità, ecc avverranno immediatamente. Firmi sulla linea nell’anima se possibile, in inchiostro nero se non. (Anima è sempre possibile, equipaggia in su e punge la vostra barretta maledetta)

X_____________________________________________

Le limitazioni sull’articolo di cui sopra, abilità e così via possono possibilmente applicarsi. Tutte le domande quanto all’eleggibilità di un articolo e così via per commercio possono essere dirette verso divisione legale e di gestione dell’inferno, reparto dei contratti

I termini e condizioni generali possono e quasi certamente si applicano. Lo slip definitivo dei gruppi di questo contratto la destra giocare un gioco del loro choice nel tentativo di vincere indietro le loro anima se il contratto non è la loro approvazione. Tuttavia questi giochi tutti saranno incredibilmente polarizzati contro il partito di sign ed affatto gemere avrà loro soltanto l’effetto che sono denominati un pansy voluminoso e forse un pollo. Dica è esso appena me o è il testo che ottiene ancora più piccolo? Quanto dispari dovreste probabilmente ottenendo una lente d’ingrandimento o qualcosa. Ci può essere qualche cosa di importante nascosto in questa quantità enorme di bullshit basato testo. Significo l’inferno che non conoscete mai a destra? Ora it’ scopare di s persino più piccolo, fin dove sono che vado andare con questo bavaglio ritardato dell’asino? Significo che dovete essere un tuffo reale o avere senso a molto tempo freaking sulle vostre mani se la vostra persino lettura del questo. La scopata è esso che ottiene persino lo smaller? goddamn; Dubito che qualunque può leggere questa merda ormai… Dovrei andare int ai contratti o a qualcosa di simile dell’alloggiamento, significo che questa è pratica realmente buona e le ipoteche sono le Grandi Leghe per rubare le anima. Qualsiasi senso it’ la s abbastanza piccola ora che possiamo mettere nel piccolo testo che è che il diavolo riserva il diritto di ingannare il vostro asino muto dalla vostra anima per nessuna compensazione ed ancora riserva il diritto di prendere un’interpretazione molto letterale di qualunque è che chiedete. Ciò può e provoca alcune circostanze molto sfavorevoli per voi, ma noi don’ cura di t. Così mangila femmina.

Binding Contract

Athletic Ability

To writ, know ye that who ever reads and signs this legal and binding document is forthwith required to provide to the contract provider, one immortal persona impression, forthwith referred to as a “soul”. This soul shall be provided in exchange for Athletic ability in a specific sport or group of events selected by the signing party as being of equal value to their soul. This talent shall be specified and agreed upon by both parties in appendix B which will then be signed by both parties, witnessed by representatives for both parties and notarized by a licensed attorney in hellacious affairs. Further witnesses such as priests, imams, rabbis and various other holy men are not recommended. Contract is in effect immediately upon signing and the removal of soul and transfer of the item, ability, etc shall take place immediately. Sign on the line in blood if possible, in black ink if not. (Blood is always possible, man up and prick your damn finger)

X_________________________________

*Restrictions on the talent may possibly apply. Any questions as to the eligibility of an item and so forth for trade can be directed to Hell, Legal and Administration Division, Contracts Department

Terms and conditions may and almost certainly do apply. The signer of this contract posses the right to play a game of their choice in an attempt to win back their souls if the contract is not their approval. However these games will all be incredibly biased against the signing party and any whining will only have the effect of them being called a massive pansy and perhaps a chicken. Say is it just me or is the text getting even smaller? How odd you should likely getting a magnifying glass out or something. There may be something important hidden in this massive amount of text based bull shit. I mean hell you never know right? Now it’s even fucking smaller, how far am I going to go with this retarded ass gag? I mean you must be a real dip or have way to much freaking time on your hands if your even reading this. Fuck is it getting even goddamn smaller> I doubt any one can read this shit by now… I should go int to housing contracts or something like that, I mean this is really good practice and mortgages are the big leagues for stealing souls. Any way it’s small enough now that we can put in the small text which is that the devil reserves the right to trick your dumb ass out of your soul for no compensation and furthermore reserves the right to take a very literal interpretation of whatever it is that you request. This can and does result in some very unfortunate circumstances for you, but we don’t care. So eat it bitch.

Binding Contract

Weight Loss

To writ, know ye that who ever reads and signs this legal and binding document is forthwith required to provide to the contract provider, one immortal persona impression, forthwith referred to as a “soul”. This soul shall be provided in exchange for a loss of weight as defined by the signing party as being of equal value to their soul. This weight loss shall be specified and agreed upon by both parties in appendix F which will then be signed by both parties, witnessed by representatives for both parties and notarized by a licensed attorney in hellacious affairs. Further witnesses such as priests, imams, rabbis and various other holy men are not recommended. Contract is in effect immediately upon signing and the removal of soul and transfer of the item, ability, etc shall take place immediately. Sign on the line in blood if possible, in black ink if not. (Blood is always possible, man up and prick your damn finger)

X_________________________________

*Restrictions on the above weight loss may possibly apply. Any questions as to the eligibility of an item and so forth for trade can be directed to Hell, Legal and Administration Division, Contracts Department

Terms and conditions may and almost certainly do apply. The signer of this contract posses the right to play a game of their choice in an attempt to win back their souls if the contract is not their approval. However these games will all be incredibly biased against the signing party and any whining will only have the effect of them being called a massive pansy and perhaps a chicken. Say is it just me or is the text getting even smaller? How odd you should likely getting a magnifying glass out or something. There may be something important hidden in this massive amount of text based bull shit. I mean hell you never know right? Now it’s even fucking smaller, how far am I going to go with this retarded ass gag? I mean you must be a real dip or have way to much freaking time on your hands if your even reading this. Fuck is it getting even goddamn smaller> I doubt any one can read this shit by now… I should go int to housing contracts or something like that, I mean this is really good practice and mortgages are the big leagues for stealing souls. Any way it’s small enough now that we can put in the small text which is that the devil reserves the right to trick your dumb ass out of your soul for no compensation and furthermore reserves the right to take a very literal interpretation of whatever it is that you request. This can and does result in some very unfortunate circumstances for you, but we don’t care. Furthermore in this case only a loss of 21 grams of weight is guaranteed and your ass can and will get fat again so actually diet and exercise you fast disgusting pig. Eat it bitch..

To serve you better.

I don’t count on you to be bothered to change the new address to your Blogroll, but if you do, thank you.

To those who have emailed me asking me about the shutting down of my blog, thank you for your concern, I’m flattered, really.

I hope you like the new look better.

体液

自己決定

公共物

説教

堕胎

温室

物色

制圧


Tetsuya Ishida saw himself trapped in this urban utopia world we lived in, and allowed his paintings to describe how he felt. Born in June 1973 in Shizuoka Prefecture, Tetsuya Ishida stopped painting when he died in 2005 after being hit by a train.

Never mind her 2-inch high heels. The evening breeze is worthy of a solitary walk in the park, she thought.

The grass is dry, but her wrinkled shirt is drenched.

As she creeps into the shadows of the colossal trees, she realizes no one can see her tears, and the inconsiderate crickets chatting noisily in the bushes will drown her cries anyway.

She allows her tears to flow.

Earlier that day, she heard about the death of a person, affiliated to her only thru an Employer. She whispered a silent prayer under her breath, only to feel a tad ridiculous thereafter. I don’t even know her, and I don’t even care about 75% of the people I currently know. What the fuck am I doing? She questioned herself.

She questions a lot. Not all questions were answered. Not all questions required answers. She fears that one day, fatigue would get the better of her, and she will stop questioning. Already, she feels fatigue biting into her bones. But she walks on.

She reaches the end of the park, where the sea meets, glistening against the moonlight. Or is it from the chain of lampposts scattered systematically along the path? She isn’t too sure. She isn’t too buggered.

With not a soul in sight, she ponders if it was appropriate to interrupt the silent eloquence of the night with her screams. She opens her mouth momentarily before pressing her cracked lips back together.

She realizes that there isn’t a point releasing her emotions, if there isn’t anyone there to hear her screams.

If I am to commit suicide, my preferred choice of execution would be to leap off a building. After all, life’s a roller coaster ride. I may as well enjoy the last one in style, never mind the fact that I’m likely to end up looking like Howard Stern after falling from 70 floors.

Here’s how I imagine my feet to look like when I jump.

Getting Ready

Seconds Away

Being Free Again

All 3 pieces measure 7 inches x 5 inches each. Created with pencil and watercolor. Wet on Dry technique.

And just in case I’m freaking my dear friends out – NO, I’m not about to kill myself. I love my life too much.

Could you place the widow here, before the orphan and let the body bleed a little more?

No wonder we think art directors and graphic designers are complete sadists. They speak in a language of their own. John Neerland and Nina Orezzoli from Colle + McVoy, recognised this and thus the birth of this microsite for American Institute of Graphic Artists.

Find the 25 Design Terms. Have fun.

Her teacher asked the Class to write down 10 things that made each of them happy. Your homework for the weekend, she said.

She wrote:

1. Lucy, the doll Daddy gave me before he died.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

She stared blankly at the piece of paper, not knowing what else to write.

Lucy began to cry.

She never went back to school again.

I laid on the living room floor, gasping for air as though I was a fish removed from its ocean. Each breath I struggled to take was a challenge; it was like trying to breath whilst sand is being poured into your mouth. I almost lost my life that day.

Ever since then, I stopped fearing Death. On the contrary, my near-encounter with The Grim Reaper, who thankfully missed his schedule with me, piqued my curiosity. When will it be my turn? How will I die? What happens thereafter? Hey, do they have Internet in Hell? My perspective of life changed inescapably. Like the rest of the complacent Human race, I took for granted that I’m “not going to die the next day”. Considering that we’re arguably the most intelligent specie of all mammals, this assumption is pretty dim-witted, don’t you think? Our journey towards Death began from the day we were born.

The Virgo that I was (note: past tense) required every aspect of my life to be planned and predictable. I produced my 5-year career path when I was a mere fifteen years of age, for crying out loud. That said; imagine my discomfort when I realized my expiry date would remain unidentified unless some terminal illness plagues my body, or I get sentenced on the death row, the latter which I guess, would be more accurate.

My fascination with Death grew so overwhelming, I decided to write to a few Arizona State prisoners who were on the death row. Sure, my innocence was probably raped by their admittance of why they were on the death row, but to a certain degree, I envied them. They got to see Life differently from the average Joe. Alas, Joe was the one who had the opportunity to change his life, not them. Life is ironic, isn’t it?

Yes, I applied past tense because the prisoners I wrote to are all dead. It has been a while.

People ask why I push myself so hard, why I wouldn’t care twice about taking risks and falling flat on my face, how on earth did I manage to recover from a 4-year relationship in such a short span of time… etc. Here’s why:

Patism for the Dying Girl

• Assume today’s your last day on Earth.

Accumulative short-term goals accomplished contribute to long-term achievements, said my former Group Account Director. I cannot agree more. Have you ever wondered what you would do, if you knew you would cease to exist the next day? I’m not encouraging you to go give your colleague a blowjob today just because you think he is cute, but perhaps you should pluck up courage to ask him out for dinner or something. Your pride is the most overvalued liability you can ever have.

• Memories. The only thing you get to bring with you when you die.

You come to this world naked, you sure as hell ain’t returning to that fella up there with your Prada shoes and Armani suits. Nah-dah. You will return naked. And in most cases, alone. Don’t be emotionally sedated for such deprives you of happiness, but learn to be emotionally detached. Live for the moment for no one will give a shit about you after you’re gone. Visiting your grave once a year doesn’t count for anything. Memories’ all you get to keep.

• Life is a piece of canvas.

I liken my life to a piece of canvas. People, experiences, emotions and whatnot are the colors. Sure, sometimes you get the odd coffee stain too. In any case, I am the artist to my canvas. It lies within my control to make my life either a masterpiece, or yet another cheap mass-produced print sold at K-Mart. We can sulk and moan about why someone we loved has just broken our heart, or we can accept that such is just life. While you indulge in self-pity, she’s not able to change her mind about you. Hell, she could be fucking someone else while you drown yourself in sorrow at the same time. Love isn’t charity, there’s no one to blame, it is just life.

Here’s a question for all:

Are you a dying person or a living dead?