I was looking up Edward Cullen on Wikipedia and I saw that it said that Edward was a Byronic hero. Because of that, I clicked on the link that explained what a Byronic hero was. Anyway, as I was reading the characteristics, it did sounds like Edward As I continued down the website, it mentioned that Lestat from the Vampire Chronicles and the Phantom from the Phantom of the Opera were Byronic heros as well, but I digress with the Phantom. That made me think about how much Lestat and Edward were alike in the sense that they are both Byronic heros. I think that’s the reason why I don’t like either character. I mean, it’s not that I hate them, but it’s just that they’re not my favorites characters from their respective series. Anyway, I think that’s the reason why I don’t like Lestat and Edward is the fact that they’re Byronic heros.

In my search for any Lestat vs. Edward stuff, I found quite a few pictures that made fun of Edward and the Twilight series or making fun of the fact the Twilight series “outshines” the Vampire Chronicles. The one that I found to be the most funny was the one where it showed Edward and Bella together in the first box, and the following three boxes showing Louis, Lestat, and Armand telling their opinions on the series. I found that Lestat’s and Armand’s reactions to be the most funny. Their reactions were classic Lestat and Armand. Anyway, the next one that I thought was funny was the one where Lestat as picking on Edward. I just found those funny. By the way, you can find the originals at this site.

Old Versus New: Ignorance is Progress

During a discussion regarding Lyra’s future and well-being, the Librarian of Jordan College makes an interesting observation of human nature to the Master.  He says, with regard to Lyra’s apparent disinterest in any serious matter, “That’s the duty of the old. . . to be anxious on behalf of the young. And the duty of the young is to scorn the anxiety of the old” (Pullman 32).

The Librarian makes this observation in response to the Master’s comment that giving Lyra more information would ease his anxiety for her. In responding thus, the Librarian expresses his feeling that no matter what steps they take to ensure Lyra’s safety, they will still worry for her, and she will still scorn their worry, brushing it aside as unnecessary. There is a parallel between this relationship of the young and old that the Librarian describes and that of Harry Potter and Dumbledore. Throughout the series, Dumbledore worries on Harry’s behalf while Harry either dismisses the worry, feeling that it is unproductive or unneeded, or resents it. Many a time in the books does Harry end up shouting at Dumbledore for just such a reason.

However, the disregard of the young for the worries of the old is perfectly natural. The old are the wise for a reason as they  have had much more time to see the world than the young have. Their age gives them perspective and allows them to recognize the folly of youth. Of course, with all this in mind, it is perfectly natural for the old to worry about the young who are so often ignorant of the ways of the world. In the eyes of the old, the young are naïve, open to change (for better or for worse), and therefore in need of guidance—for if they will not worry themselves, someone must do it for them. Nonetheless, the young continue to be open-minded in their naïveté, and, really, it is better for the human race that they are. Without the continuous cycle between the anxiety of the old and amenability of the young, their would be no progress. The old have seen too much of the world to be open to new ideas and therefore the concept of change scares them. Without the daring and reckless youth of the young, few revolutionary ideas would be tested or used and the world would have no chance at advancement.

Proposition: Without the inherent conflict between the old and the young, there would be no progress in the world.

I was bored recently and was on my computer I don’t know why but I typed Lestat vs. Edward into Google to see what I would get. Anyway, a lot of stuff that popped up were drawings of people making fun of Edward through Lestat’s point of view, and videos and articles asking who would win in a no-holds bar fight. I immediately thought that Lestat would definitely win. I say that because, after looking up their powers as a refresher, while Edward has super strength, super speed, and can read minds, Lestat can do or has all of that, plus so much more. Lestat also has pyrokinesis, the ability to fly, and he’s telekinetic. Plus, he killed an entire wolf pack by himself, albeit with the help of his two mastiff dogs. Anyway, I really think that Lestat would definitely win the fight against Edward, and that’s assuming Lestat doesn’t fall in love with Edward first, which I doubt would actually happen, and that Lestat doesn’t hurt Bella.

I finished reading Eclipse about a month, maybe a month and a half ago. The thing that I found most funny was in chapter 18 when Jacob, when he was in wolf form, came up to Bella and licked her. In that same general area, I also liked when Jacob, again in wolf form, looked like he was smiling. I think the reason why I liked those two parts was because it’s typical of Jacob to be happy-go-lucky. Anyway, I just found those two parts to be funny.

Here we go again. The wildly popular “Twilight Saga” returns to theaters with the sequel to last year’s “Twilight”. With “Twilight Saga: New Moon” Kristen Stewart (Bella) and Robert Pattinson (Edward) are joined by Dakota Fanning, Michael Sheen, Taylor Lautner and new director Chris Weitz (The Golden Compass).

There is no question that this film will be wildly popular. The first film made around $70 million its opening weekend, a mark that “New Moon” should top easily. In fact, a $112-115 million wouldn’t be out of the question.

“2012″ should fall to the second spot. It will take a big hit, however, and bring in another $29-32 million.

“Planet 51″ and “Disney’s A Christmas Carol” will duke it out for third and fourth, with each making around $15-18 million while the new sports film “Blind Side” with Sandra Bullock will bring in $12-15 million.

Lukas Eggen

shot on a mobile phone somewhere in a non-english speaking country (you can sort of read the subtitles on the screen). even from this weird angle, we can tell that new moon has problems. but it’s most likely critic proof, so who cares? should this be allowed? or is this some p.r. stunt by the studio to generate even more interest in this film?

is there any such thing as overkill when it comes to promoting a movie? think godzilla and snakes on a plane. although we don’t mean godzilla meets snakes on a plane.

random comments read online about this scene and others that have been ‘leaked’ include. 1.) why are the volturi lisping? 2.) does michael sheen think he’s acting in a monty python film? 3.) rpattz acting just keeps getting ‘better’ 4.) kristen stewart and robert pattinson look old.

will this mall tour that summit entertainment has organized be enough to ensure that all 6000 screens opening day will be sold out before the first review has been inked. that’s 18000 bodies for opening weekend. they took a big risk by hiring chris weitz, the man who ruined another successful children’s book, the golden compass. that too had a good opening weekend.

Young Lyra (Dakota Blue Richards) finds an unlikely bodyguard -- Lorek the Ice Bear (Sir Ian McKellan) -- in "The Golden Compass."

Peter Jackson, listen up: Just because a film details an epic adventure doesn’t mean it has to last three hours. That’s right, J.R.R. Tolkien fans “The Golden Compass,” a likable, visually impressive adaptation of Philip Pullman’s 1995 bestseller, has all the intrigue of Jackson’s “Lord of the Rings” trilogy but none of the yawn-inducing running times. If anything, “The Golden Compass,” which clocks in at just under two hours, ends too soon, leaving viewers eager, right then and there, for more. (Call me batty, but this reviewer can’t remember a single person leaving a “LOTR” film and remarking, “Gee, that movie ended way, way too soon.”)

“The Golden Compass,” though, does weave a fairly complex plot which requires some explanation. At the heart of the film is Lyra Belacqua (Dakota Blue Richards), a spritely young girl and prankster who spends her days scaling the rooftops of the university where her uncle, Lord Asriel (Daniel Craig), teaches. Her carefree days come to an abrupt end, though, when she meets icy Marisa Coulter (Nicole Kidman), agrees to travel with her to the North and discovers Coulter is part of a sinister underground organization that kidnaps and experiments on young children including Lyra’s best friend Roger (Ben Williams). Lyra makes it her mission to rescue Roger, and she gathers a unique assortment of helpers along the way. There’s Lee Scoresby (the always watchable, husky-voiced Sam Elliott), a tough-as-nails pilot; Iorek Byrnison (Ian McKellen), a gruff “polar bear for hire” of sorts; and Serafina Pekkala (Eva Green), a mysterious but good-hearted witch. Helpful, too, is Lyra’s alethiometer, or golden compass, which reveals the true answer to any question … and only Lyra possesses the power to use it.

Like any book-to-film adaptation, some things in “The Golden Compass” get lost in translation. There are potentially intriguing, rich characters (like Scoresby and Pekkala in particular) about whom we know very little; they feel like collateral damage in the effort to pare down length. The most controversial element of Pullman’s book — the figurative “death of God” in society — gets watered down, perhaps to increase the film’s marketability. As reimagined by director Chris Weitz, “The Golden Compass” is a film about the quest for truth and knowledge (called “dust”), a quest the ruling body (dubbed the Magisterium) would kill to stop. This concept works swimmingly in a coming-of-age movie like this, but the blunting of the book’s sharpness is disappointing nonetheless.

However, these are minor quibbles with a movie that’s as thought-provoking as it is thrilling to watch. The animation is well-done and occasionally inspired, particularly the scene where two polar bears battle for rights to a kingdom — perhaps the tensest moment in “The Golden Compass.” The acting is solid as well, with Kidman perfectly cast as the frigidly menacing Coulter and Elliott sinking his teeth into what might have been a throwaway bit part. Roberts is a major find, a plucky young talent with an expressive, open face and a Tom Sawyer-like curiosity about the world. She’s one to watch.

There’s little doubt that there will be people (aren’t there always?) who won’t see “The Golden Compass” because they believe it’s a dangerous work of heresy. What a shame that is, for this stunningly beautiful, intelligent adaptation is meant to be experienced. The film is not some bitter, topsy-turvy argument in favor of atheism. No, “The Golden Compass” is a grand journey, a film that reminds us, gently and quietly, that the quest for knowledge, for truth and purpose, must be an individual pursuit. And ultimately, the idea explored in “The Golden Compass” is a familiar, timeless one: Is the unexamined life really worth living? Plato knew that, but viewers will have to decide for themselves. There are no pat answers to be found here. Still, that’s not bad for a film where nothing gets pitched into a volcano (sorry, Tolkienites).

Grade: B+

Sleep had escaped me once again. Tried finishing Deception Point in a vain attempt to doze off. I ended up listening to Eraserheads now and well, blogging…

Hrmm, what boring story can I tell today? I never left the house. Woke up at 1PM and found a PM from mon amour while I was still asleep and yeah, he kinda’ figured I was asleep. Watched Freaky Friday and loved it, almost didn’t realize mon amour go on-line. We chatted for an hour and a half, then I finished Freaky Friday, then moved on to The Golden Compass. It rained, so my grocery plan was cancelled, then I decided to clean the Fridge instead which is a good decision because I may never find the inspiration to clean it again. Oh yeah, my cleaning needs to be inspired!

Then I called him and he answered! (for a change) we talked for an hour about whatever. Anything under the sun. oh wait, there was no sun, uhm anything under the lighbulb. Bah! just tryin’ to kid. then the line got cut off, his mobile must have ran low on battery. Then I watched a few snippets of Ghost World ’cause I’ve already seen it a thousand times over. It’s a really good film. Tweet’d, Facebooked, and checked e-mails and did whatever stuff I normally do on-line.

So that’s my Sunday! And oh, the laundry lady didn’t come around so I don’t have a thing to wear tomorrow. If only I can just go to work naked. That won’t be sanitary, though. haha!

I already drank my milk, I don’t know why I still can’t sleep. Maybe I’m excited to chat again with mon amour. Ugh! Why can’t we just be together in one roof so we could get sick of each other? hehehe I know, I try to jump into things all to quickly while he wants to take it slow. Which is what I really need actually, a neutralizer for my kindred and mostly impulsive spirit.

I’m smokin’ like a chimney once again. Listening to Eraserhead’s Sa Tollgate. It’s such a good song, best listened to during long drives. I really wanna’ get my own car. Hmm, a few more months of work I know I’ll get it, I’m Really getting it! Maybe I can’t sleep because I’m already dreaming awake. Haha!

By the way, if you tweet I recommend you follow LLCOOL on twitter: http://twitter.com/llcoolj His tweets are pretty cool. Some food for the soul.

Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real

Working at a book store, I have a lot of free time to think about books. Recently, with the Toronto International Film Festival going on, I’ve been thinking more and more about books being turned into films and vice versa (well, not really the latter).

For the most part I’ve found that film adaptations of books are rarely as good as the books they’re based off of. This is usually because filmmakers, who have to rely on the visual and face time limits, cannot translate what we like most about books – the vivid descriptions, the poetry of the language, the inner monologue of the characters – onto the screen. There are cases, however, where the movie adaptation is far more enjoyable than their written counterpart. These movies inject the stories with a dose of energy and life that no page can contain.

Anyways, if you’re bored one evening and too lazy to read a book, here’s a list of page-to-screen adaptations to look out for or avoid.

1. Lolita (book) by Vladimir Nabokov =  Lolita (film) by Stanley Kubrick

For your own good, DO NOT let cinema snobs convince you to watch this movie. I don’t care how much they rant about its deep social commentary or the subtle way that Kubrick approaches the sexual relationship between the lead characters. Just say no.

If you haven’t read the book, you will be disappointed by how boring the movie is. I literally fell asleep the first time I tried watching it. The plot moves as slowly as wind on the Moon, and there are absolutely no characters worth rooting for or sympathizing with. If you have read the book, you will be offended by how Kubrick managed to turn a well-written, memorable book into a one-dimensional, forgettable film.

The movie’s slogan asks, “How did they ever make a movie of Lolita?” I can tell you how: very badly.

FAIL

2. Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk = Fight Club by David Fincher

A story about bare-knuckle fighting, a guy with multiple personalities, and discontent in American society? You’d almost think that Fight Club had been a movie first but alas, it was indeed conceived on the page.

What makes the movie such a great adaptation is that it manages to entertain while still addressing the major, “intellectual” themes of the book. This means that we get to see grown-men beating the hell out of each other and still learn about the state of modern masculinity. The fact that the movie’s central characters are played by the talented Brad Pitt, Edward Norton, and Helena Bonham Carter doesn’t hurt either.

WIN

3. A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett = A Little Princess by Alfonso Cuaron

I had to include this one on the list. It was been one of my favourite films since I was 4 years old. The plot of the movie deviates from that of the book a lot, but it still manages to keep true to the parts that matter: a little girl loses her father and her riches but still manages to struggle against adversity and maintain her dignity. Oh, and the movie happens in a school just like in the book! The film also adds a commentary on racism that was alive during WWI, which the book lacked. It’s doesn’t better the story, but it offers an interesting twist.

What’s best about this film, however, is the amazing combination of music, art direction, and cinematography. This film offers just as much to the cinema buff as it does the story fiend.

WIN

4. Watchmen  by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons = Watchmen by Zack Snyder

I’m the last one to call The Watchmen a book, but it is only by giving it the pretentious moniker of “graphic novel” i.e. long comic book, I am able to criticize it, so I’ll put my views aside for now.

I almost fell asleep three times while this movie was on, and I saw it opening night with at least a hundred other fans sitting around me. Yes, not even the energy of a gaggle of fan-boys and geek girls could keep me awake. If it wasn’t for the annoying soundtrack, awkward sex scene, and unnecessary violence, I’d probably have been asleep after the first glimpse of Doctor Manhattan’s glowing blue penis.

What makes this a “special” movie is that the majority of the storyboards were taken directly out of the comic graphic novel, as was the soundtrack, in attempt to stay true to the original work. Apparently they couldn’t even succeed in that because Alan Moore, the original writer, hated the movie as much as I did.

Who will watch the Watchmen? Hopefully no one.  

FAIL

5. The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman = The Golden Compass by Chris Weitz

This movie was actually voted the most disappointing film adaptation ever according to Entertainment Weekly, so you can probably gather that it’s pretty bad. It wasn’t only bad though: it was downright confusing. The film tries to add so many twists, characters, and plot lines to the movie that it becomes hard to keep your basic facts straight, like which dæmon belongs to whom, or why you’re wasting your time watching such a crappy movie when you could be out whitewashing a fence, or doing hard labour.

Oh, and the little girl playing the lead? Let’s just say she’s no Jodie Foster.

FAIL

6. Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Truman Capote = Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Blake Edwards

This probably the best movie you’ll ever watch about prostitutes.

The majority of people don’t know that Breakfast at Tiffany’s started off as a book (it was a novella, to be exact). But judging by how different the book is from the movie, that knowledge wouldn’t been worth anything. The book and the movie have little in common aside from the character names, the title, and the major plot points. Strangely, this doesn’t make the film, which anyone will tell you is iconic, especially bad.

My brother personally finds it boring and uninteresting, but I think it’s great. Yes, the story is pretty fluffy and not too thrilling but damn, is it ever beautiful to watch. The wardrobe, designed by Hubert de Givenchy, makes me weak in the knees. The film just epitomizes Upper East Side chic, with shots of the city in bright, vibrant, clean Technicolor. And did I mention that the perpetually-elegant Audrey Hepburn stars in this film? Enough said.  

WIN

These movies all have one thing in common: they were based off of fantastic books. Do yourself a favour and pick one up the next time you have time on your hands. With every dollar you spend at the movies or at the video store/bootleg DVD stand, you are voting for the type of movie you’d like to see made in the future. So please: don’t let your vote be for a bad one, or else you’ll have no one to blame but yourself when Twilight is made into a film and goes on to gross almost 400 million at the box offices. Oh wait…

xoxo Allyssia

Sometime after 11 am, an administrator knocked on our door to let us know that a very important 通知 notice would be coming out around noon and not to leave our classes before then.  Morning classes do not end until half past twelve anyway.  We all figured that this had something to do with H1N1.  Notices went up in the residences Sunday evening that two Chinese students had been diagnosed with swine flu, but it was no big deal.  Monday morning our teachers told us not to worry and just to pay more attention to our health.  My guess was that, at most, they would tell us that we would have to report our body temperatures to the school on a regular basis, or something similar.

I was wrong.

Classes are canceled, effective immediately, and will not resume until the 12^th of October.  Under normal circumstances, we would have had the two weeks beginning 25^th September off for some sort of sports competition followed by the 1^st October National Holiday.  Had I known this, I might have booked my ticket to Beijing a few days earlier.  Missing school is not so frustrating, but this would be an ideal time to travel and many of my friends in lack of their 护照 passports because students on X-visas (almost all of them) have to have them exchanged for residence permits.  In addition, 李老师 Li Laoshi wrote on the board that school would end 2月10日, an entire month later than initially planned.  This would have run me into a great deal of trouble with regards to both my lease agreement and permission to exist in China, as my visa expires in February.  However, extending the semester by an entire month to make up for a week and a half of missed schooldays makes no sense at all, and I hope a real date is set in stone by the time we get back, so I can make plans for the rest of my gap year.

I had mentioned to my mom (who learned how to use Skype for me, she totally loves me more) that I might not make it to Hong Kong as originally planned due to lack of funds, but she said that it’d be rude because I’d already written to family (many of whom I haven’t seen in years) there indicating I might and that she and Dad would cover the flight.  But now… do I even have enough time to do all of that and renew my 180-day visa in time?

I’m frustrated.

Reverse Chronological Catch-Up on My Last Week

• 14^th (Monday): After class and lunch, I checked out this Christian bookstore’s coffee to see how it was.  It was okay, and came from an espresso machine, but it was not stellar.
• 13^th (Sunday): It was very low-key, very local exploring around Xuefu Lu.  After finally signing a formal lease agreement with my landlord, I met up with Jackie (who had gotten up early to go to the police station for more bureaucracy) to look for a Canadian-owned café around our uni.  We went way roundabout but finally found it, but they’ve only recently reopened after renovations so they were serving only coffee but no food.  We had lunch at a “Russian” café on campus and then went to the Xuefu Bookstore to browse for a couple hours.  I bought a copy of The Golden Compass in Chinese.

Pretending to read 黄金罗盘 at 学府书店

• 12^th: I went shopping with Jenny and Serena at Jin Taiyang, not far from the Church of St. Sophia.  I got a decent fall scarf and a counterfeit Anna Sui wallet.  Later, we had dinner at an inexpensive Japanese-style restaurant before heading home.

• The 10^th and 11^th have already evaporated: My good health came back and the teacher announced that our class numbers had been finalised.  Rizvan, the cute Azeri boy who reminds me of Diego Luna switched into the higher level class.  Friday night I had dinner with Daniel, Jacki, and Andy – he studies Manchurian! – and later we hung out with the English-speaking contingent in Martena and Ustina’s *sp room.  Everybody seemed pretty cool.

I recently watched the New Moon clip where Bella tells Jacob that he’s “sorta beautiful.” When I saw that part of the clip, I was thinking, Is that really his body? Or is it that his head was put onto someone else’s body? I’m sorry but to me, it looks like Taylor Lautner’s head was digitally put onto someone else’s body and it was edited weird. And if it was, I would have been disappointed at Chris Weitz because of what I saw in The Golden Compass. Anyway, that’s just my opinion.

Have you ever shot yourself in the foot before? I haven’t. Not literally, anyway. I assume it’d be a horrible and intensely humbling experience that would leave you with massive amounts of self-confidence issues. Every time someone says, “Dude, why are you limpin’?”, the memory of that day pops back into your head like a lightning bolt with a bum foot, and whenever you go into the specialty sock store and the clerk gives you that icy “What the fuck happened to you?” look, you’d slowly and silently collapse into the fetal position. Luckily, that has never actually happened to me, but I can only imagine. Now, when it comes to figuratively shooting myself in the foot, I do it all the time; possibly on a daily basis. Minor things here and there, nothing too spectacular. I’m nowhere near the outrageous ignominy of New Line Cinema, a company that has continuously shot itself in the foot to the tune of millions of dollars. They’ve taken extraordinary risks throughout the years, and while some have paid off big time (The Lord of the Rings), others have been simply catastrophic. Today’s feature, The Golden Compass, has often been blamed as the source of New Line’s death as an independent studio and is one of the most controversial family movies ever made. Why is it so controversial? Well, a bunch of people (i.e. Catholics) read the book (i.e. read reviews on the book), digested it the wrong way (totally misread the idea in a religious stupor), and made the false accusation that the film is ATHEISTIC (i.e. made an irresponsible and uninformed judgment call for America). And whenever the word ‘atheist’ comes up in Hollywood, it doesn’t take too long before the religious bloodhounds come out of the woodwork to wreck everybody’s good ol’ time. So, because most of the US don’t want my kind ’round here, it was clouded by a sea of protest and American controversy that killed its box-office potential. I take great offense to this, but only because it was killed in the US for its secular nature, and not its average quality.

Based on a Young Adults novel by Phillip Pullman, The Golden Compass takes place in an alternate reality, where Earth is Earth, but there are some major differences. There is a North Pole and an Oxford, for instance, but all humans have souls that exist outside the body in the form of a dæmon, or a spirit-animal. It’s kind of different. So in this alternate-Earth, the entire planet is controlled by an authoritative theocracy called the Magisterium. The theocracy has banned the study of a substance called “Dust”, a mystical substance that has potential to threaten the Magisterium and its grip on the world. But a scientist named Lord Asriel is studying the effects of this substance nonetheless, and departs from Oxford to the North Pole to do further research on the matter. His niece, Lyra, stays at Oxford to be a ward of Jordan College. Things get crazy, however, when a representative of the Magisterium named Ms. Coulter offers to take Lyra to the north to be her assistant with things here and there. She agrees, and departs the college, but before she leaves, she’s entrusted by the college headmaster with the possession of a peculiar and powerful object called the althiometer, or the Golden Compass. It can answer any question about any topic posed by the owner, but Lyra cannot operate it. Regardless, she graciously accepts it, but as she does, things start to happen that she cannot explain, such as the disappearance of children around town and Ms. Coulter’s suspicious and sudden hesitation to go to the north. Lyra, aided by her dæmon named Pan, must uncover the secrets that the Magisterium, and perhaps Ms. Coulter herself, are hiding from her as things go from magical, to mysterious, to magical again in this wild winter-themed secular fantasy that features both an anti-superstitious agenda as well as talking bears!

Honestly, I feel a little overwhelmed. Once again, a fantasy film goes out of its way to cram a bunch of stuff into a relatively short amount of time. Everybody wants to emulate the dense mythology of The Lord of the Rings movies, but people tend to forget that the theatrical cut of The Fellowship of the Ring was 178 minutes!!! You have to sacrifice brevity for density, but The Golden Compass makes a misstep by thinking that they can do both. You can’t have your cake and eat it too! At 113 minutes, its not even 2 hours, and while I can see that this might be a boon to the PG audience, who want to get their fidgety kids home as soon as possible, it overloads any logical person who is trying to immerse themselves in the fantasy. It just needed a little more substance to substantiate the exposition.

The world is pretty cool, though. Populated with all kinds of magic and ornate filigree on all the metal, this is a fantasy-lover’s dream. The special effects, appraised at near the $120 million mark, are pretty damn cool as well. Magic here is the kind that people don’t cast at the slightest whim, so when magic happens, you fall for it. It is spaced out pretty well, and I can appreciate it for its own sake, to be sure. The magic insect robots were in particular a highlight, and the talking polar bears, while totally fake, weren’t bad compared to my initial reaction to the idea of talking animal CG effects. The dæmon, Pan, could have used some work, but all in all a passing grade for anyone who loves the idea of an immersive visual experience.

Although any notion of getting into the movie is crushed when the adult actors hit the screen. URGHHH! What the hell, Nicole Kidman?!? You are not good at what you do! Ms. Coulter’s character flounders under the strain of Kidman’s robotic aversion to natural human emotion. While I understand that she may not have been wired by her manufacturers to exhibit human emotions, perhaps that means she needs to be in a different line of work, like vehicle assembly line work or trying to terminate Sarah Connor. She’s one step away from getting on Cinematronica’s least Wanted List, so I hope for her sake that she shapes up soon. Daniel Craig and Ian McShane also receive failing grades in their respective roles, although McShane does DO a lot more than he did in my previous feature, The Seeker: The Dark is Rising. They could have made me care but didn’t. Whoopsie! Oh, well. The children almost make up for their adult counterparts, though. Dakota Blue Richards plays Lyra, and she nails it with a precociousness that doesn’t seem to come from a manufactured Hollywood place, but from a real curiosity and joy that I found refreshing. She makes for someone worth caring about, even when she’s being mouthy and anti-establishmenty towards the end. I hope to see her in a lot more in the near future. Ben Walker also excels as Lyra’s friend Roger, and although his screen time is tragically short, he performs admirably. I enjoyed his street-smart character immensely, and I hope to see him in the next movie (oh, wait… never mind…). An adult I did like in this movie was Sam Elliott, who plays Texan (?) Lee Scoresby. He’s typical Sam, the straight-talkin’ Southern gentleman, and that’s good enough for me. He was in Road House, you know.

All right, let’s get something straight here; this movie has little to no trace of atheism in it, not that it should be a problem if there is. If it were really a thoroughly atheist work, there wouldn’t be, oh, I don’t know, TALKING POLAR BEARS AND MAGIC! Atheists don’t believe in anything supernatural, so to come out and say that a movie featuring spirit-animals and magical insect robots is a secular work only makes me laugh heartily. Certainly there is a touch of humanism in the work, and a little even bleeds through to the film (thankfully). But it portrays the Magisterium, the thinly-veiled Catholic Church allegory, as actually having powers, magic, and, in the book, a living, breathing God! If an atheist REALLY wanted to make a book for children, he or she would state very plainly that there is no God, never was, and superstitions like magic and talking animals are figments of the imagination. Instead, we have Pullman throwing more fantasy out at us than C.S. Lewis after a particularly wonderful Anglican service. Pullman is not trying to convert anyone, obviously, and this work was only SLIGHTLY influenced by his godless heathen ways, but the religious powers that be felt the need to dish out a powerful lesson to what one Amazon reader calls “completely Anti-Christian” and what I call “completely NOT worth the controversy”.

It’s a toss-up. On the one hand, I enjoyed parts of this “disturbing atheist fantasy”. It has an undeniable British charm to it that rises above its droll presentation. It does have some anti-religious themes, mostly involving organized religion, and I think that’s something we can all get behind. And it has Sam Elliott in it! But it’s another case of too much info, too little run-time. It can get a little silly sometimes with all the talking animals, and not silly in a “ha-ha” kind of way, but silly in a kind of “ha-ha I can’t believe a talking polar bear is giving out serious battle plans to a Texan, a witch, and an ermine spirit-animal!” And it has Nicole Kidman in it! It’s a toss-up, as I said, so I’ll go ahead and give it a middle-ground rating since this movie lost so much money for New Line that the likelihood of there being a sequel is slim to none, which is close to the same probability of there being a God. I give The Golden Compass 5 kinda not-really atheist messages out of 10.

Tomorrow I continue the Failed Franchises theme with Wing Commander! Don’t shoot yourself in the foot until then!

Many non-religious people use strong words, such as “brainwashing”, when referring to religious indoctrination.  Non-believers see it as especially horrific to teach children such beliefs before they can judge them objectively and wouldn’t dare question their parents’ or teachers’ authority.  But are such as words as “brainwashing” and “coercive persuasion” applicable to mainstream religions, such as Christianity, just as they are to cults?  That’s what this post hopes to find out.  

According to the textbook Psychology 101 by Carol Wade et al. and published in 2005, these are the distinguishing psychological characteristics of cults, as posted on Wikipedia:

An important factor is coercive persuasion which suppresses the ability of people to reason, think critically, and make choices in their own best interest.Studies of religious, political, and other cults have identified a number of key steps in this type of coercive persuasion:

1. People are put in physically or emotionally distressing situations;
2. Their problems are reduced to one simple explanation, which is repeatedly emphasized;
3. They receive unconditional love, acceptance, and attention from a charismatic leader;
4. They get a new identity based on the group;
5. They are subject to entrapment (isolation from friends, relatives, and the mainstream culture) and their access to information is severely controlled.

Now, I will go through these different qualities of cults and explain how they relate to Christianity.

Coercive persuasion which suppresses the ability of people to reason, think critically, and make choices in their own best interest.

“You have to have faith.”  Religions glory in the triumph of faith over reason.  No matter a belief contradicts with what is apparent about the world and what can be discovered through rational thought, the belief is expected to be deemed correct.  That would qualify as suppressing the ability of people to reason.

1. People are put in physically or emotionally distressing situations;

“You are a sinner!” “Repent or you go to hell!” Warnings such as these proliferate in modern religions.  Many Christians believe that if they put one toe out of line or take a wrong turn in their lives, they will be cast into fiery pits for eternity.  I think that would qualify as emotionally distressing.

2. Their problems are reduced to one simple explanation, which is repeatedly emphasized;

Christianity meets this qualification and they some!  Not only is there a simple explanation for everyone’s problems (a rib-woman ate from a magical tree when a talking snake told her to), but there’s also a simple solution: Jesus loves you!

3.  They receive unconditional love, acceptance, and attention from a charismatic leader;

Apparently, with such a big group of people as Christians, you can’t find that many charismatic priests or ministers, so the “unconditional love, acceptance, and attention” comes from a divine man who not only loves you as a human, but is omnibenevolent and omnipresent.  Let’s see the other cults match that.

4. They get a new identity based on the group;

The short answers: “You are Born Again!” “You are part of God’s family!” “You are part of the Body of Christ!” et al.

5. They are subject to entrapment (isolation from friends, relatives, and the mainstream culture) and their access to information is severely controlled.

This one fits Christianity as well, but not to such a degree.  They are encouraged to steer clear of non-believers who could poison their minds, except for purposes of evangelization.  Christians are supposed to keep their thoughts focused on Jesus rather than listening to “the devil’s music” or watching movies which don’t exemplify Christian values.  In the past and present, the Church has used censorship to prohibit the spread of ideas.  While it doesn’t have overpowering control over all aspects of life as it did in the Middle Ages, the Church still exerts a tremendous force over its followers exposure to aspects of modern culture.  A good example would be “The Golden Compass”.  The Catholic League called for a boycott of the film because it “undermined the basis of Christian belief”, and the Vatican denounced the movies as being “godless”.  Baptist and Methodist groups also decried it.  This is most likely what led to the film’s dissappointing box office return.  I take the same response as the author of The Golden Compass: “Why don’t we trust readers? Why don’t we trust filmgoers? Oh, it causes me to shake my head with sorrow that such nitwits could be loose in the world.”

-Tiresias

I’m following Diana’s lead and using this as an excuse to tell you about books I adore.

The Once and Future King by T. H. White

My Dad read this to me as a bedtime story when I was eight or nine. Having my father read me things was like getting an annotated version – he was able to tell me what the Questing Beast, and Robin Hood, and the Quest for the Grail, and all the other side-stories White integrated into his Arthurian legend were. And why White had done it. Then I re-read it when I was old enough to understand things like politics, and angst, and incest, and realized what a heavy, brilliant book it really is. White’s dry, British sense of humour helps, as well.

The Riddle-Master by Patricia McKillip

Where to start? This woman’s prose is beautiful, her stories have the flavour of grand myths, her characters are real, flawed people, and this trilogy-in-one-book is a grand coming of age story where age is full of strange and incredible powers and responsibilities, and where growing up builds and destroys your life over and over again. Perfect to read as an adolescent, and poignant to read now.

The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman

I had no idea what I was getting into with this book, but it turned into a novel that my friend and I would jointly read hidden under our desk in class. Pullman made the world very real, very sinister, very big and very exciting. As well, I was just the right age to grow up with the protagonists of the trilogy as the books came out, and the big ending blew my mind.

Watership Down by Richard Adams

These rabbits did not fuck around. Do not mess with Hazel. This is an epic, epic novel.

The Princess Bride by William Goldman

I have never, and I mean never (and I’m a Terry Pratchett fan) laughed so hard at a book. Everything in this novel is brilliant, the narration, the book within a book within a book, the characters, the chopped-out sections, the red herrings, and to top it all of you get an ambiguous ending that reminds you how much you care for these one-line-quipping oafs you’ve spent the whole novel on a grand romp with. I promise, it is even better than the movie (which, by the by, was scripted by Mr. Goldman, and so the dialogue is often verbatim from the novel).

A Canticle for Leibowitz by Walter M. Miller

I read this in one intense weekend, and have never felt so drained. This novel is a heavily objective investigation of the ultimate tragedy of human development, and the parallel self-destruction we wreak with religion and technology, and the beautiful people who get crushed in between the two every day, right up to the end. It is dry, but that is what makes it so, so, so sad.

Shogun by James Clavell

I will forever blame my Dad for this. I would never have admitted to myself that pulp fiction was fun and worth reading until I whipped through this enormous book in the course of a summer. I could not put it down! Gore! Samurai! Monks! Pirates! Sailors! Ninjas! Geishas! Sex! Torture! And the most incredible mind games! The amount of power-struggling that goes on behind every line of dialogue in this novel is, in itself, a work of art. If you like fun, or things that are badass, or exciting, or dramatic, you’ll like this. That’s just how it is.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

This book represents a turning point for me. When I read it when I was 14, I adored Jane, I adored Mr Rochester, and all I wanted was an epic romance. I recently re-read it, out of curiosity, and found myself hyper-aware of how passive-aggressive and manipulative and self-destructive they both are, and had trouble enjoying it at all. So, yeah, I guess it stuck with me.

Life After God by Douglas Coupland

This had a similar effect on me as Canticle, but with a quieter, smaller, more banal sense of internal apocalypse. A series of short stories and anecdotes, it makes you worry about Coupland, and then, as you get drawn in and admit to all these same feelings in your own mind, about yourself.

The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula LeGuin

I have never been disappointed by LeGuin’s writing, but this book stands out as an adult appreciation of place, society, culture, gender, power and language, which is why I picked it over any of the Earthsea novels, which do the same thing but sometimes more didactically, what with the younger audience. If anything, I will never think of glaciers the same way.

Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card

I haven’t liked much else Card has done, but this book blew my mind as a kid. The barracks, the gravity-free games, the general feel of it all, still defines science fiction for me. What is technology for, if not stealing our youth and corrupting it?

The Weirdstone of Brisingamen by Alan Garner

This book introduced me to a kind of fantasy-mythology-based horror I continue to pursue. I don’t remember a whole lot of the plot, but the settings were amazing, and terrifying. In some terrible chase scene the two children had to follow dwarves through flooded mineshafts so narrow they had to squirm along on their stomachs, and eventually on their backs, to be able to keep their mouths above the water level. The enemies were dark, floating, cloaked beings that I was instantly reminded of when I saw the Dementors on screen, and there was a terrifying wolf. Terrifying wolves are key to childhood terror, I think. The wolf-nothing in The Neverending Story also haunted my dreams for years. Anyways, this may or may not be a good book, but damn, did it ever creep me out.

Kitchen by Banana Yoshimoto

This made me cry. It is quirky and beautiful and delicate and reserved and quiet and poignant and brief. It contains two stories about loss and departure and relationships and grief, and they do what they do amazingly well. That is, they made me cry.

American Gods by Neil Gaiman

This is where that fantasy horror I loved as a child overlapped with serial-killing and zombies and all of the delightful urban legends that haunted me as a teenager. Mingled with the nerdy joy of picking out who’s which mythological figure, I really enjoyed reading this.

The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien

Other people love The Lord of the Rings, but it was too long for my brain to categorize it as a single story. The Hobbit, however, I can remember the plot of probably to the smallest detail from beginning to end, no problem, and the plot was awesome. A journey on horseback and on foot for months through fields, mountains, forests, plains, to a shipping town to battle a dragon? The finest fodder for my imagination at any age.

Uncover a world of mysteries in The Golden Compass based on the best-selling novel

Take on the role of Lyra Belacqua as she sets out on a quest to rescue her imprisoned uncle and kidnapped best friend.

Joining Lyra on her mission is Pan – her spirit daemon, Iorek – a giant and powerful armoured bear, and the mysterious Golden Compass - a truth telling device.

Together Lyra, Pan and Iorek embark on an epic adventure of action, exploration, collaboration and discovery.

Journeying though locations, such as the port town Trollesund and the dark and foreboding research station at Bolvangar.

Buy Now with Amazon

Lyra and her daemon lives in a world parallel to our own, where the Magisterium holds high influence. The first book in the series takes place in her world, where she tries to save her kidnapped friend, Roger and at the same time keep the alethiometer from the wrong hands. Her journey continues in the second and third books, where the setting moves between different worlds.

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I. Northern Lights (The Golden Compass)
II. The Subtle Knife
III. The Amber Spyglass

I still wonder what prompted me to pick up ‘Northern Lights’ the first book of this dark trilogy by Philip Pullman at a bookstore but whatever it was it was a bad choice. For whatever reason this trilogy has been called ‘His Dark Materials‘, it comprises the titles – The Northern Lights, The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass. All these 3 elements are quite fascinating on their own but combined they seem to make a deadly boring combination.

Set in an alternate Earth-like universe with its own Oxford university and all, the story revolves around the adventures of a girl named Lyra Belacqua who resides with the professors at Oxford courtesy her often aloof uncle, Lord Asriel. Her curiosity often lands her in trouble much to the reluctance of her spirit daemon, Pantalaimon. Oh yes, in this universe your spirit or daemon as it is called assumes a physical form, an animal that closely represents your inner attributes…. so in any case here’s how the story goes

1. The Norther Lights

There are unexplained disappearances of children near the university and rumors are abound that it is the work of a squad associated with the Church who are experimenting with separating the daemons from the children. When Lyra’s friend Roger disappears, Lyra sets out in search of him and is captured by the leader of the squad, Mrs. Coultier. The Dean of Oxford gives Lyra an Alethiometer that will guide her on her journey. As the story progresses, it is revealed that Lyra is the illegitimate daughter of Lord Asriel and Mrs. Marisa Coultier, and her parents in their own selfish ways try to protect Lyra from the church but Lyra being precocious tries in vain to save Roger with the help of her friends Serafina Pekkala, Iorik, Grumman and Lee Scoresby. Doesn’t work ofcourse, instead Lord Asriel successfully opens a portal in the multiverse and proceeds into an alternate world of Cittagazze.

2. The Subtle Knife

Here Lyra follows her father into the city of Cittagazze where she befriends Will Parry who is looking for whereabouts of his father. Lyra and Will start searching for the whereabouts of Dust, a curious material that streams through the universes and is highly concentrated around the children. In this quest, they befriend a scientist, Dr. Mary Malone who is also researching on the dust. Meanwhile, Mrs. Coultier catches up with Lyra through her friend Lord Boreal who holds Lyra’s Alethiometer ransom for a strange yet powerful knife that can create and close portals as well as cut through any material. Will and Lyra retrieve the knife but when the knife chooses Will as the next bearer, they escape with it.

On the otherhand, Lyra’s friends from book 1 – the headwitch Serafina Pekkala gathers the rest of the witches and Lee Scoresby to help Lyra in her quest. There is a prophecy at work here which says Lyra will be the next Eve (never understood the concept till date). To conclude, this book ends with Lyra being kidnapped by her mother while Will after a tragic parting with his father Grumman leaves in search of Lord Asriel with 2 angels – Balthamos and Baruch.

3. The Amber Spyglass

This is where the book gets fast paced as all the elements from the previous 2 books conglomerate in a complex and utterly fascinating plot. The events move at a faster pace with Will and Lyra meeting the Mulefa who provide them with an amber glass through which they can actually view the Dust (Hence the title Amber Spyglass I suppose!) On one side you have the army of heaven preparing to wage war under the leadership of the archangle Metatron who is acting as the God (the actual God or the One is locked away in a secret chamber and is quite lost). The good side or the better side is Lord Asriel’s party who are trying to stop the heavenly angels from preventing dissemination of awareness and knowledge. After an ardous journey, Will and Lyra reunite under Lord Asriel’s army and in a twist of fate or surprise, Asriel and Marisa Coultier sacrifice themselves to stop Metatron from winning the war. Will and Lyra sacrifice their love for the obvious betterment of all the portals and return to their respective homeworlds to build a better republic.

The theme of the series seems to emphasize the Church and how it opposed other religions and culture often going as far as to destroying them permanently or even defaming them. Here I’m simply quoting history which has actually occured…how else would you explain the disappearance of many ancient artifacts and documents of knowledge or the burning of the great library at Alexandria.

As for the protagonists of this series, Lyra comes across more as a mischievous child full of curiosity but as the series progresses her curiosity tones down just a bit but deep down her thirst for adventure much to the reluctance of her daemon is still present. Will Parry comes across first as a angry young teen who is concerned about his mother’s health while also trying to find whereabouts of his father. And like Lyra, Will undergoes a tremendous transformation once he comes in possession of the subtle knife. He becomes more responsible and mature but sometimes ends up risking everything for the sake of Lyra.

The most curious and fascinating characters though are Lord Asriel and Marisa Coultier. Both of them love each other yet work on opposite sides during the war. They even stoop to the extremes to outwit each other but Asriel seems more forgiving than Marisa. Its not until the very end that you realize which side Marisa’s allegiance lies. I thought the first book to be an interesting read but as the series progressed realized that there are pages that you could simply skip to reach the ending. More than this, the whole series has a philosophical angle imbibed in it where the author explores theories of multiverses as well as portals not to mention the existence of the god particle in depth.

“The Golden Compass” is a fantasy film, the first of a trilogy based on a series of books, I have never read the books so have no idea whether the movie is true to them or not.

The premise of the film is that there are many worlds (dimensions) all along side one another, similar but different, they are joined together by a magical element called “dust” which most people cannot see, in one of these worlds peoples souls live outside of their bodies in the form of animal spirits or Daemon’s, linked to them, if you hurt one they both feel the pain. In this world were created the golden compass’s, these devices let people who can read them see the truth of anything, the governing body in this world doesn’t want the populace seeing the truth and has had the golden compass’s destroyed, all but one.

At the start of the movie we find Lord Asriel (Daniel Craig) visiting a young girl in her school, the child is Lyra (Dakota Blue Richards) and she is the one who can read the remaining compass, shortly after the visit of her uncle Lord Asriel, she has another visitor, Mrs Coulter (Nicole Kidman). It turns out that this Mrs Coulter is in fact a baddie and means no good.

Amid plots to kidnap children amongst other things we meet the Gyptians of the water, the Witches of the air and the Bears of the ice, who could resist a talking, armoured, battle bear. Lyra, along with various allies heads to the Land of the North, the home of the Bears of the ice (Polar Bears) and sets about rescuing the stolen children.

The effects are very good and the movie pops along at a good pace, the cast is pretty good and young Dakota Blue Richards is charming as Lyra in the lead role, well worth a watch, I liked this movie and I’m looking forward to the planned sequels making up the trilogy.

Based on the wildly popular book series, “Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistan” has its trailer online a day early!  The film stars John C. Reijly (Step Brothers, Walk Hard), Ken Watanabe (Batman Begins, The Last Samurai), Josh Hutcherson, Chris Massoglia, Patrick Fugit, Ray Stevenson, Michael Cerveris, Frankie Faison, Jane Krakowski, Orlando Jones, Kristen Schaal and Salma Hayek.

The film is being directed by Paul Weitz, brother of Chris Weitz (The Golden Compass, New Moon).

Lukas Eggen

This weekend I did 2 things guaranteed to comfort me when I’m sad: Cross stitching, and going to the bookstore.

I bought the 2nd Sookie Stackhouse book, which surprised me because I hadn’t really planned to read any after the first. But I guess I’m in the mood for something easily digestible. I also got The Golden Compass, because I’ve been meaning to read the series for years, and the universe keeps sending me signals that now is the time. They’re both supposed to be for reading on vacation, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be done with both of them before I leave. Luckily they’re both parts of series… I’ll just get the next 2 if that’s the case.

I haven’t stitched in a while. I got stuck on that last project of the geisha, where the entire second half was all sky and parasol. I got a serious case of “I hate its”, as my stepdad calls it, and I had to put it aside. So I decided to skip ahead to the next project, which is… a design of 2 geishas. I don’t even know. Someone in one of my Facebook groups sent it to me. Michael’s supply of emboidery floss was seriously depleted, and of course all the colors they were out of just happened to not be ones I already had at home, because that’s just always how that works out. So I’m making a few color substitutions, but so far it looks pretty close to the finished design. Although I just started and it doesn’t really look like anything yet.

I haven’t moved Junebug’s cage yet. I also haven’t told Bonnie she died, because if she gets upset, or even just overly sympathetic, I’ll probably lose it. But I need to do both of those things this week.

After reading only one of Philip Pullman’s books, I do believe he has quickly become one of my favourite authors.  He had me hooked from line one of the book, “Lyra and her daemon moved through the darkening hall, taking care to keep to one side, out of sight of the kitchen.”   It turns out a daemon is an animal that is the soul of their human companion.  Every human has a daemon.  That is, every human has a soul.

What Pullman is very good at it is giving out just enough information to keep the reader interested.  Like a daemon’s for example.  I do believe it wasn’t until the latter half of the book that we finally found out exactly all of what a daemon is and their capabilities.  Something else I found done really well was his description of the protagonist, Lyra.  Pullman didn’t exactly describe her: what she looks like, what she likes to eat, etc.  He described her through her actions and how she interacted and communicated with others.  He didn’t even tell us her age until the middle of the book, which we later find out is a lie, but we can reasonably guess it from the things she does.

There were a bit of philosophical discussions in this book.  As mentioned earlier, all humans have souls.  Bears do not have daemons and cannot be tricked, unless they try to act like humans.  Dust, or the original sin, is only attracted to post pubescent people.  Alternate worlds exist because of probabilities and other possible outcomes.  One of the simplified examples the author uses is a coin.  If you flip a coin it either turns up heads or tails.  If the coin turned out tails, then the probability of it coming up heads has become 0.  So in this world the coin became heads, but there exists a world where the coin turned up tails.  There are billions of these alternative worlds because there are billions of possibilities in this world.

I understand The Golden Compass has been made into a movie.  I don’t think I will watch it though since it probably won’t live up to the book.

As you know, I recently finished His Dark Materials by Phillip Pullman. That made me think about the publicity surrounded the movie. The publicity was negative and hence, the movie wasn’t as watched as Lord of the Rings. It was kinda the same with Inheart. It’s a part of a book trilogy and was made into a movie. But like The Golden Compass, it wasn’t watched as much as Lord of the Rings. That made me think about why that was. For Inkheart, I think it’s because it didn’t get as much publicity and the fact that the book series isn’t well know. I say that because I don’t really remember seeing the trailers for Inkheart on tv or in the theaters much. Plus, I never even heard of the series until the movie came out. The same sorta happened with His Dark Materials. However, with His Dark Materials, it didn’t help much that the movie got negative publicity but of the controversy surrounding it. I think that the only reason why Lord of the Rings became popular was because it’s been around for like 50-60 years. Because of that, many people have read the books, and the books/movies didn’t stir up any controversy.

if you look at the youtube comic con page for hall h, you’ll notice that stephenie meyer is not there. she was there in 2008 to push her baby twilight. so what’s happened?

has chris weitz destroyed new moon to the point at which stephenie meyer has gone underground? she’s probably not interested in pulling an anne rice and thereby destroying the rest of the franchise. so better to keep her lips zipped, right?

but this new film looks like the lost boys on steroids minus corey feldman and kiefer sutherland. the successful gothic fairy tale has been replaced by a rock n’ roll movie minus robert pattinson crooning on the soundtrack.

will the film stay true to the books? well, the books sort of suck on an artistic level. so if the film sucks too, then maybe that’s okay. but the books suck you in like a lollipop. then afterwards you feel all guilty for eatting a tofu-frutty lollipop.

does chris (i destroyed the golden compass) weitz get what makes 12 year old girls love these books? because you know, some girls don’t hit puberty until 16 or 17. so they might be into the romantic jane austen love thing with holding hands and stuff but they don’t hang out at home having masturbatory dreams about ripped muscles. me thinks those screams in hall h at comic con on thursday were those of twilight moms who should know better than to lust after such young things.

has the whole underlying religious theme been squeezed out of the film? chris weitz did an outstanding job of reducing the golden compass to absolutely nothing to the point in which it no longer even resembled a kid’s book. of course it’s sort of a good thing that people avoided that film like the plague.

but the beauty of twilight is that it’s not really a vampire/werewolf/shape shifting book. it’s a lyrical allegory grounded in traditional morals and values in the judeo-christian sense. and that kids are responding to this. if you’re an atheist/agnostic like brad pitt who recently declared this in bild zeitung, then that sentence probably just made you wretch.

but everyone has to admit that the most fascinating aspect of the twilight phenomenon is that it goes against everything that the mainstream media has been feeding tweens since the 80s. you know. sex.sex.and more sex. and perhaps that’s why zines like teen people, cosmo girl, and sassy have all closed down within the past few years.