So ladies… How are you doing? This one’s for you. Again.

We all saw the case of that Nyeri woman, who at the age of 40, had the ninjette skills and prowess to turn a man’s face from a clean circle to a tattered dog eared Karatasi Brand graph book. We all giggled at the Zimbabwean men who were being kidnapped and ‘raped’ (apparently it IS possible to rape a man who is already willing *Kiraitu laugh*) and even laughed out loud when they blatantly refused to listen to those cases because there’s no provision for that in their (or rather, any) constitution. And every one of these cases came with their own justification. Nyambura The Nyeri Ninja was portrayed as this doe eyed woman who had just had enough of her drunkard husband and squalid conditions… Every one just happened to forget that every woman in the world has had enough of her drunkard husband and squalid conditions.

My point is that, well, women are finally getting some twisted version of equality that we’ve been crying about since Susan B. Anthony’s days. Well, I disagree. This is not equality. What equality is this that women can rape men and somehow say that its because we want a baby to hold and love. Where we can kick the teeth out of a man and shrug and say “man, the nigga’s a broke drunkard.” (I don’t even know why I’m complaining and this is probably the best deal women have gotten since multiple orgasms.)

Women have been oppressed from the word go… Its one of the first things written in the Bible. Although of course, I have a problem with this bit of information… If my history is correct, school back then was only for boys…where the girls stayed at home and grew up to be women who fetched water and baked bread and ran after Jesus in the market complaining about period pains and late menopause. So as punishment was being meted out by God it seems a little bit obvious that the people who had no way of pointing out their side of the story get the blame. Yeah, the book of Genesis was basically was the first historical movie script.

So we women were tempted into eating something right (which should make sense to us because… You know, there wasn’t any other woman to compare herself to…because… WOMEN) and we were cursed to suffer the pains of childbirth and seeing those children suffer… While men were told to go and till the soil which would probably bear no fruit.

If history had stopped developing AT THAT POINT IN TIME, I think we’d just be fine right? All we’d have to do is cook, clean, get babies and life’s good. Where did this maddening frenzy to give ourselves more work come from? Why? Why can’t we just accept the one good deal we’ve gotten throughout history? Oh, because a man made a few remarks, said that a woman’s place is in the kitchen? Well what the fuck is wrong with a kitchen? Its warm, innit? Would you rather be out there battling sabre tooth tigers? Really? But you’ll run screaming the minute something with eight legs scurries across your leg?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that women are incapable of doing what men can… Conjestina, Leyla Ali and half of Semenya have proven that really well. Were quite capable. But one thing we’ve never understood is that equality is nothing but a pipe dream. If it wasn’t then we should be beaten. Yes! If women want equality so badly then if your husband doesn’t like your cooking then he should be allowed to jab you a GOOD one! But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t pick your ass off the floor and beat him as well. And then all sports should be mixed! Leyla Ali vs Lennox Lewis… (Or…whatever, I don’t know a thing about boxing.)

Its not a mere coincidence that women make up 70% of the poor population worldwide. Its this whole “I can do this! I got this! I don’t need you” attitude that’s a leading cause. Don’t blame wars, and mistreatment or whatever weak responses I know I’ll get regarding this… Pick up a pair of boxing gloves, a stone, something. Don’t let them take away your kids, beat that soldiers ass! You want to be so empowered learn how to take a punch, and then give a couple more. If you want to be empowered.

Personally, I’d pick up those gloves, and learn all this… But at the end of the day, since being a God fearing Christian is such a huge factor, (pfffft) go home and wash his clothes, cook his food, and wait for that bastard to dare say something about the meat.

Have an empowering day!