I’ve made no secret of my admiration for Marvel’s new take on Iron Fist.  They took a very one-dimensional character and gave him some serious depth.

In fact, I have a pair of Iron Fist action figures sitting on my desk at work.  One is the Marvel Universe action figure.  I have to be honest when I say he’s not one of my favorites.  Sure, he’s got a lot of articulation, but he’s just not imposing.

The other is the SuperHero Squad Iron Fist.  He’s very fun.  Tiny and posed for kung fu capers.  It was him who gave me the inspiration for the Orson Randall Project.

For those of you unfamiliar with Orson Randall, he is Danny Rand’s predecessor as Iron Fist.  In current continuity, he has been in hiding since the pulp years of the 40s, chasing the dragon as he hides from the dragon.

With me so far?

No?  Read more here.

Anyway, Orson is a cool character and as I was looking at my tiny little SHS Iron Fist, I wondered if it would be possible to make a SHS Orson.  To do so I was going to need a couple of  things.

First, another SHS Iron Fist.  Stephe kindly provided me with one of those for Christmas.

Secondly, I needed another, more Orson-ey body.  Enter this guy.

No, not Blade!

The Punisher.

My plan then is to use the Punisher body above along with a couple of parts from the SHS Iron Fist and some paint to make Orson.

Wish me luck.

Updates will follow as the project progresses.

After venue closures and a subsequent search for a new location, UFunktion has teamed up with Ram Z and Discotronix to present the Punisher on Dec. 12, 2009 at Plush.

Check out this interview with the Detroit techno dj and producer behind Hej Records here if it doesn’t appear below:

Title: PunisherMAX #1 & #2
Writer: Jason Aaron
Art: Steve Dillion
Colors: Matt Hollingsworth
Publisher: Marvel
Price: $3.99 each

As I was sitting down to write this review I began pondering where to begin, what should be my opening line? I flipped quickly back through the pages of both Punisher comics, and sure enough it came to me. PunisherMAX, simply put is a rip roaring, bloody and brutal good time. Now, I know that there are many comics out there in the market place that tout excessive violence in them, but how can you truly have a great Punisher book without the fore mentioned excessive violence right?

The Plot: Issue #1

We find ourselves in the midst of a secret meeting of all the existing mafia bosses. They are getting together in order to discuss what must be done to get rid of that pesky Punisher, seeing as he has put each and every one of them on his personal hit list. The Punisher at this point posses a huge risk to them, not only in consideration of their lives, but also their business, and something must be done to stop him once and for all. Don Rigoletto has come up with an idea that he feels is the answer: reinvent the urban legend of one boss who rules all others. Don Rigoletto intends to make Frank Castle believe that there really is a Kingpin, in hopes that will distract the Punisher sending him on a wild goose chase. By doing this they can hope to keep Castle out of their hair, at least for a little while. While this meeting is going on the book opens with Frank pretty much torturing some low-level grunt into spilling what information he knows. The grunt tells Frank of the meeting and he is able to take out a couple more mid level goons. At this point the rest of the mafia heads feel that Don Rigoletto’s idea is worth pursuing. We see how Wilson Fisk who is posing as Don Rigoletto’s “right hand” man is being primed to slip into the role of the Kingpin.

The Plot: Issue #2

In issue number two of the first story arc entitled “The Kingpin” we begin to get a deeper look into the mangled and cruel mind of Wilson Fisk. We see just how he serves up a plate of revenge and we also find out more about how the myth of the Kingpin will begin to take shape. As reader’s this is where we watch Wilson Fisk’s rise to power. And in juxtaposition we also observe the path that Frank Castle is traveling on, and you can bet that while the paths may seem parallel at this time, they are surely bound to cross in issues to come. The one commonality that both these gentleman share is the trail of blood they are leaving behind them as they move forward in each of their respective goals.

My thoughts:

I have really enjoyed the work that Jason Aaron has put out in the past. His writing on books like Scalped, Ghost Rider, Wolverine, and Weapon-X has been outstanding. So, having Aaron on Punisher Max only seems fitting really. This book is full of grit, gratuity and fantastic storytelling. I have always liked the characters of both Wilson Fisk and Frank Castle. Aaron does not just rely solely on big acts of violence to sell his book, he has an actual point behind those moments and they help to propel the story forward, which is what is going to sell this series. Each panel gives you a clearer vision of the characters and who they are, and what drives them to do the despicable acts they do at times. In the past some writers have abused the privilege to write extreme acts of violence hiding under the Max title and use F-bombs willy-nilly. But Aaron does not; in fact his use of this no holds barred form of story telling is a perfect example of what the Max line should be written like. Anyone who has ever enjoyed a good mafia movie will be able to appreciate Aaron’s efforts on this title. This is not your typical Punisher comic though, because Aaron puts his main focus on telling the story from the perspective of Wilson Fisk, which I love! I really like comics that get into the minds and personalities of the villains. Heroes and villains are like Yin and Yang to one another and sometimes the reader is not given the villains side of the story, they are written with no sense of depth. I suppose you could say that this is a Kingpin origin story and Aaron writes Fisk in an almost likable manor. Issue #1 was a great set up issue, but #2 is more of a character piece that focuses on Fisk.

Aaron is finally giving the Punisher a formidable foe within his Punisher U. You can tell that this book is being written with affection for these characters and I really believe that when any writer feels passionate about the characters he’s writing you, the reader, are in for a great story. I feel that up until now Ennis’s Punisher as been deemed as the definitive Punisher, but Aaron is surely putting out a concerted effort to make this Punisher a series to be remembered. I am looking forward to reading the rest of this run with Aaron at the helm and Dillon on art. If you have not picked up these comics so far, I would run out and grab em’ for sure. This is the Punisher I’ve been waiting for since Ennis left the Max book and I can’t recommend it enough.

Cami/Variant Girl

by Jason Aaron (writer), Steve Dillon (art), Matt Hollingsworth (colors), and Cory Petit (letters)

The Story: Wilson Fisk’s history is delved into as Operation: Kingpin is put into action.

What’s Good: While last month was a declaration of Garth Ennis, this month makes clear that Jason Aaron is interested in more than just emulation, as he brings the unforgiving grit found in Scalped to Punishermax.

That means an incredibly dark issue.  As this is largely due to its exploration of Fisk’s past, the change in tone between issues feels appropriate.  There’s really not a joke to be found this month, nor is there any Ennis-styled slapstick.  That said, while the pure fun quotient may take a slight hit due to that, it also elevates this month’s issue into something that is a more serious, weighty project.

This process also helps to create quite possibly the most terrifying Wilson Fisk we’ve ever seen.  Aaron’s Fisk is nothing short of an absolute psychopath.  His lack of conscience, mercy, or human feeling is deeply unsettling.  Fisk rigorously abides by and brutally enforces a rigid rule of self-preservation and satisfaction.  Beyond that though, he is beholden by no laws of decency or humanity.  Certainly, when Fisk embraces his wife and child at the end of this month’s issue, it feels very different from when he did so at the end of last month’s.

In painting such a character, Aaron really does push the Marvel envelope, and he does so in a manner totally different from Ennis.  While Ennis tested limits by writing outrageous acts, Aaron crosses boundaries through portraying acts and writing dialogue that is simply disturbing and mature in the truest sense.  Ennis had me flabbergasted, but Aaron actually made me uncomfortable.

On art, Steve Dillon serves up his usual fare, though he does do some surprisingly poignant work on his characters’ faces.  Dillon’s done a great job with Fisk so far, with expressions that are surprisingly subtle yet resonant and nuanced.

What’s Not-so-Good: While Dillon does do good work this month, at times I felt that what made him such a great artist for Ennis is also what failed him a bit this month.  Without any jokes, slapstick, or over-the-top gore to work with, Dillon’s innately comical style just doesn’t always jive with Aaron’s pitch-black script.  Indeed, for every great face Dillon does, he also still can’t help but whip out one of his signature goofy faces.  If someone gets shot in a Dillon comic, they’re going to look funny, even if the scene is devoid of humor.  Overall, the comic feels a little strange; it looks like it should be funny when it isn’t.

Also, while it doesn’t make for a bad comic, this is also an issue that sees precious little of the Punisher.  Last month was already quite restrained in its use of Castle, but this month he’s downright scarce, if not unremarkable.  It’s a bit of an odd way to start a run on Punisher MAX.

Finally, I do feel that Aaron is still wrestling with establishing Fisk’s voice.  He can’t seem to settle between the more formal sounding Kingpin we’re used to from the Marvel Universe, and the more colloquial, gritty voice he’s used to employing with characters like Red Crow in Scalped and he ends up with a weird sounding back and forth between the two that feels a little unsettled.

Conclusion: It’s a great comic, one that confirms that Jason Aaron is bringing his own talents to the table, not just Ennis’.

Grade: B

-Alex Evans

I just finished reading Jason Aaron’s Wolverine – Manifest Destiny mini series as part of the X-Men – Manifest Destiny collection. The other stories were crap but the Jason Aaron story was a pretty fun ride. The X-Men have just relocated to San Francisco and Wolverine has violated a 50-year-old ban by entering Chinatown that results in an epic kung-fu beat-down, training, and then revenge/ redemption story.

I guess it’s obvious, if not somewhat safe, to put the story in Chinatown because even people not familiar with San Francisco can figure out what kind of neighborhood Chinatown is.

I still maintain that The Outer Sunset is a far more versatile neighborhood that you can tell several different kinds of stories in.

The Outer Sunset has loud Chinese and English advertising that makes a great background for any kind of kung-fu or Blade Runner type story.

The Outer Sunset is littered with these beautiful miniature castles, Hansel and Gretel type homes, and suburbs on acid that would make for great surreal or head-trip stories.

And then you have some straight up batshit crazy neighbors.

With locals that drive around in Burning Man art cars or demon busses.

The Outer Sunset is like living on the set of the weirdest movie David Lynch never got around to making.

I really love this house in The Outer Sunset.

It’s your classic San Francisco kung-fu house.

I could brainstorm an entire X-Men mini-series just off of this house.

Here’s my pitch –

This is Mr. Hung’s house.

1969 -

Back in the late 60’s Mr. Hung was this 20-year-old Jet Li looking kind of guy with this rad Jim Lee hair and bitching yakuza tattoos.

Mr. Hung is China’s #1 spy and the world’s #1 assassin. He’s the best there is at what he does.

Back before he was in The X-Men and was in Weapon X or Strikeforce X or whatever, Wolverine is loaned off to this ultimate black-opts project that no-one has words or even clearance levels for and finds himself working with Mr. Hung.

They don’t like each other.

They’re off with Nick Fury, the previous Dr. Strange, and Snake Eyes on a covert mission to seek and destroy a downed unidentified astral object.

2009 –

Mr. Hung is this Sammo Hung looking kind of guy who actually looks like he’s 40 years older.

40 very haggard years older.

He’s a few feet shorter, has almost no hair with a receding hairline, a potbelly, and is always wearing a goofy Hawaiian t-shirt. Now that the X-Men are in San Francisco, Logan always comes over to crash on Mr. Hung’s couch in The Outer Sunset whenever he needs to unwind and heal in private. They have a much better rapport these days. There’s a Jacuzzi and an endless supply of beer in the back yard with a bitching view of the sunset.

I love the backyard too.

This is actually from a completely different Outer Sunset house but I’m gonna take some artistic liberty and fuse the 2 of these images together for the sake of my pitch.

Mr. Hung’s tattoos are all fucked-up now. There are scars, bullet holes, stab wounds, claw marks, cigarette burns, electrical burns, farmer tans, and a potbelly. It’s a mess.

Logan’s giving him a hard time and is all

“Jesus Christ, Hung. Who does your touch-up work these days? GG Allin?”

And Mr. Hung is all,

“Tell me about it. kid. When I was young and stupid I used to be into tattoos, Now that I know better I’m into scars. Each one tells a different story about how it fucked-up my life”

Camera zooms into Mr. Hung’s right arm and this lengthwise burn in the form of an iron chain.

1969 –

Escape pod from Hell has just crash landed in Vietnam.

4 Ghost Riders hit the ground running at 100 miles per hour in opposite directions.

Wolverine + crew destroy them all in less than 3 issues but in the process they also massacre half of an early Private Frank Castle’s platoon in seconds.

Hearts, minds, blood, guts, and demon curses are splattered everywhere. It’s a bloodbath.

And that’s my pitch for the -

Punisher Ghost Rider Wolverine – Manifest Destiny mini series.

Sign Jason Aaron onboard and that’s just money in the bank.

Lists are on everyone’s minds as we head toward the end of the decade, and they’ve provoked some great discussions recently so I thought I’d throw one more into the mix. We all love a good cinematic badass – those brave souls who kick ass and chew bubblegum but are all out of bubblegum – so here, for your consideration, is my list of the eleven-ish baddest badasses to punch in our faces and wreck up our screens in the noughties. Yes, eleven-ish. I was going to whittle it down to ten, but in the spirit of badassedness I refuse to be bound by your decimal conventions.

Badass – adjective

1. (of a person) difficult to deal with; mean-tempered; touchy.

2. distinctively tough or powerful; so exceptional as to be intimidating.

11. The Punisher (Punisher: War Zone – 2008)

Not the Thomas Jane one, although he had his badass moments, but the character as portrayed by Rome’s Ray Stevenson in Lexi Alexander’s gloriously over the top Punisher: War Zone. The film itself is ridiculous beyond words, but its version of Frank Castle is so relentlessly grim and committed to what I can only describe as TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION that you can’t help but admire Castle’s belief that when a problem can’t be solved with violence the only viable alternative is… EVEN MORE VIOLENCE.

Ultimate Badass Moment: The Punisher deals with a fleeing parkour criminal by shooting him out of the sky with a rocket launcher.

10. Black Dynamite (Black Dynamite – 2009)

He may be the central player in a parody of Blaxploitation, but where Black Dynamite separates himself from a character like Austin Powers is that he himself is never a figure of fun. He’s a legitimate badass, and he will stomp your candy ass and make sweet, sweet love to your woman if you ever suggest otherwise.

Ultimate Badass Moment: Black Dynamite bitch slaps the first lady into a china cabinet, then apologises because violence toward women is not cool.

9. Beatrix Kiddo (Kill Bill 1 & 2 – 2003/2004)

Had the Kill Bills been more consistent and had Tarantino created his own iconography instead of nicking Bruce Lee’s old jumpsuit, there’s no doubt The Bride would be higher on this list. Even so, her determination to slaughter anyone who stands between her and her goal of killing Bill makes her one of the great badasses of recent times and proof positive that women can be just as convincing as men when it comes to ass-kickery and sword-choppery.

Ultimate Badass Moment: Ms Kiddo hacks and slashes her way through the Crazy 88s and turns them into a groaning mess of blood and limbs.

8. Frank Martin (Transporter 1, 2 & 3 – 2002/2005/2008) 

Number eight on the list is a tidy, organised man… like me. He’s named Frank… like me. He drives like The Stig and beats ass like a genetically created hybrid of Bruces Lee and Willis… um, not like me at all. Oh, well – two out of three and whatnot. Frank Martin’s unique distinction on this list is that he’s one of the more meticulous and polite badasses in the action genre. He won’t just kick down your door before kicking down your face – he’ll ring the doorbell first.

Ultimate Badass Moment: Frank dispatches a small army of generic chop socky henchmen with a fire hose.

7. Zen (Chocolate – 2008)

Another woman more than holding her own in the badassery stakes, Zen’s accomplishments are all the more deserving of respect because she also suffers from autism. Lucky for her, she has a kind of movie autism that gives her near superhuman reflexes and the ability to master the martial arts by watching Ong Bak. Zen then uses her new skills to cut a swathe through the Thai underworld and help pay for her mum’s cancer treatment, which makes her hard as nails but possibly the sweetest badass on this list.

Ultimate Badass Moment: Zen faces off against wave after wave of lunatic Thai stuntmen while clinging to the outside of a building in one of the most jaw-dropping fight scenes of recent years.

 6. John Rambo (Rambo – 2008)

Rocky Balboa taught us that old age is no obstacle in the world of face punching, and in Rambo we learn that old age is just as easily overcome when it comes to face shooting, face stabbing, face exploding, face bow and arrow-ing, and probably face smashing up with a meat tenderiser and pulling down your trousers to squeeze out a poo on the sloppy mess you’ve made-ing. The moral of Sylvester Stallone’s most recent outing for John Rambo is simple: If you’re old and bitter and not even capable of having your heart touched by a pretty missionary – KILL EVERYONE!

Ultimate Badass Moment: Rambo slides his crude new machete into the villain’s abdomen, then kicks him and his rapidly unravelling guts down a hill.

 5. Damien Tomaso (District 13 & District 13: Ultimatum – 2004/2009)

He may look like Bruce Willis’s gay brother and he may suck at disguises, but when the time comes to impose his badass will he does so with frightening agility. He’ll shoot you, he’ll kick you, he’ll punch you – all the usual stuff – but he’ll also leap across a room at you or sideflip onto you or grab you by the neck and jump off a balcony with you just to ensure your ass gets well and truly kicked. If necessary, he will even beat you down with a painting. Damien Tomaso’s willingness to do anything to get the badassery done is truly admirable.

Ultimate Badass Moment:Trapped in a casino and surrounded by thugs, Damien Tomaso does what any self respecting ass kicker would do – he risks life and limb to beat them all senseless and wrecks up the place in the process.

 4. Ip Man (Ip Man – 2008)

The latest in China’s long and grand tradition of glorifying great kung fu teachers on film, this one sticks very much to the formula of portraying the sifu as a quiet, humble, wise man (the kind of badass you only ever see in the East) whose patience is tested to its limits until only one thing can happen – a furious fisted explosion of empty handed violence that will leave all the Master’s enemies battered, bruised, humiliated, and bitterly regretting that time they said his kung fu style was girly.

Ultimate Badass Moment: Master Ip beats ten Japanese fighters to ten bloody pulps without even breaking a sweat, then leaves with his slain friend’s blood-soaked sack of rice instead of the ten clean sacks of rice he had rightfully earned.

 3. Ting (Ong Bak – 2003)

Ting’s quest for a missing Buddha head takes him from a quiet village to the big city, where you imagine such a simple country bumpkin would be horribly abused an humiliated. Except it turns out those big city bastards have never witnessed badassery of this type before, as Ting demonstrates his inhuman ability to jump over things, jump through things, set fire to himself, and pummel all available faces with his elbows and knees. If he is willing to put himself through all of that for the head of a statue, can you imagine what he’d do to you if you really pissed him off?

Ultimate Badass Moment: FLAMING LEG KICK!

2. Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity/Supremacy/Ultimatum – 2002/2004/2007)

I’m pretty sure I can actually hear some of you lot groaning over this one, but like it or not Jason Bourne co-defined (alongside the slew of comic book heroes who’ve dominated our screens) the modern action hero over the last decade. He brought a new kind of badass to the screen, a twenty-first century badass – down to earth and distinctly human, at the mercy of a secretive and uncaring government, and a man as capable with his brain as he is with his fists, able to turn the seemingly endless technology we’re surrounded by these days to his advantage. He’ll still slap the shit out of you with a rolled up magazine if he has to, but he’d rather outsmart you and then call you on your mobile to quietly show off about it.  

Ultimate Badass Moment: Bourne whups an assassin so severely the man has no recourse but to jump out a window to his death without even opening it.

1. Blade (Blade II & Blade: Trinity – 2002/2004)

Maybe other characters have been more popular, maybe others have made more money, and maybe others don’t have a third film as terrible as Blade: Trinity, but none of those other characters have carried out as much violent badassery – and looked as effortlessly cool while doing so – as Blade. Blade understands that vampires are not attractive or romantic or sparkly; they’re evil predatory assholes who should be shot, stabbed, punched, kicked, staked, exploded, burned, decapitated, de-hand-itated, tortured with motorcycles, taunted for their desire to ice skate uphill, or sliced in half from balls to scalp. 

Blade understands this because he has mastered the discipline of Ultimate Movie Badassedness. We should be glad he’s out there, wandering around movieland, weighed down with an entire arsenal of weapons he somehow secrets about his person, not giving a shit if people think he looks like a crazy weirdo… because masters of Ultimate Movie Badassedness don’t care about that kind of thing. Plus, if anyone gives him any lip, he’ll just cut their head off and stride away confidently, knowing the world that dead sucker lived in was just a sugar coated topping.

One day, if we’re all very, very lucky, Blade’s wanderings will take him to Forks, Washington, where he will badassedly remove the simpering expression from Edward Cullen’s face by chopping it off with his sword.

That is the way of the true badass.

Ultimate Badass Moment: Blade leaps onto a moving motorcycle, decapitates its vampire rider and takes his place at the handlebars in one smooth motion, then stops at a nearby car to check his reflection in a wing mirror.

*

Special Honorary Mention – The Decade’s Greatest TV Badass:

Omar Little (The Wire – 2002-2008)

Ruthless but oddly moral stick-up man Omar Little deserves a mention because he’s one of the greatest characters on the decade’s greatest TV show, and also because he’s given himself one of the most dangerous jobs in the world (he makes it a point to only rob drug dealers) and is so feared most people simply give him their money and drugs before he even has a chance to raise his shotgun. Further singling him out for attention is the fact that Omar is gay, and for the life of me I can’t think of another example of a gay badass, which makes Omar Little a particularly unique practitioner of the badass arts.

Ultimate Badass Moment: Having stolen Proposition Joe’s entire shipment of heroin, not only does Omar have the balls to walk into Prop Joe’s place of business and offer to sell the drugs back to him, but he also drops off his clock to have it repaired.

As some of you may know, Frank Castle AKA the Punisher is dead. Daken (Wolverine’s son) literally chopped him up into little bits and threw his body into a sewer. Like all good mentalists though, that isn’t the end for him and starting with issue 11, we get the Frankencastle arc which is basically Frank brought back to life as an undead zombie with a big fuckin’ gun. Earlier today I read the issue and not only does it actually work, but it’s great to see the Legion of Monsters back in action. Here’s the cover below and if you see it in a comic shop pick it up.

• In the spirit of last week’s Franken-Castle storyline kicking off (which I confess is a little far-fetched for me), it helps to put things in perspective with The Punisher’s Most Ridiculous Moments Ever.
• The Onion AV Club gives us their best comics of the ’00s.  It skews to the arty/indie side obviously, but it’s solid.  And there’s a few items on there I’ve never heard of, which is cool.
• In Todd McFarlane’s Image United interview we find out exactly how Type-A he is, and that he doesn’t quite understand what a “jam book” is. Todd, we WANT to see the stitch marks!  That’s what makes it so cool!

After 15 posts in 10 days, I think I’m going to take a little nap for a while.

You’re a hateful, socially-inept, charmless, morally spineless, cowardly, free-loading, Skeletor-faced, spunk-brained, king-sized loser of a limp dick. You’re a cock, you’re a tosser, you’re fat-arsed chair glosser. You make me sick.

Admit it. Reading that paragraph made you reflect on what an atrocious cunt you are. Experiment in cold-reading over. It’s ok. I’m not singling you out. The rest of us are scum too:  mankind is lots of tiny bits of scum floating towards other bigger clumps of scum to form a planet-sized ball of scum hurtling towards death, the biggest scum of them all, apart, perhaps, from life. One bloated rotten putrid scum together. Listen to Jeff Lewis’ East River song and this might somehow seem like a wonderful, magical thing. But it isn’t. It’s awful. And if you think differently you’re deceiving yourself like the self-deluding skin-sack of rotting scum that you are.

I’m especially scummy. I know this because I’m the target of a campaign of vicious bile-bombings by Charlie Brooker. Brooker has made my scummyness absolutely clear. The other day he verbally and physically assaulted me. Last night, he repeatedly kicked me in the face – I bled profusely, turning a snow-white pavement from the old Trebor Mr Soft adverts into the river of blood from the Shining. He didn’t say anything, mind – just raised an eyebrow, shook his head and walked off.

I’ve never spoken to Charlie Brooker. I don’t know him. Like every other respiring liberal, I love his column and Screenwipe and even the show he did on Channel 4 when it didn’t have Frankie Boyle and Josie Long on it making me want to fry slices of my own left-hemisphere, like a lonesome Hannibal Lecter, with the hope of making speech recognition an impossibility. But that’s as far as it goes.

See: Charlie Brooker is the Freddy Krueger of vicious satire. He’s terrorising my dreams. I’m not sure how he does it or why, but it appears he won’t stop until he’s successfully pummelled my self-esteem into submission.

So ok, it’s my sub-conscious doing a poor imitation of Brooker through a limited lens of uncreative swearing, with an eccentric bad vigilantism borrowed from The Punisher. But I’m convinced he’s got something to do with it. I walked past him in Clapham the other day, holding hands with a woman who looked like/was Konnie Huq, off of the new Aids adverts. It might not have been her, but the two are permanently associated in my mind after he made her do this. Whatever, she looked slightly ashamed. To be fair, we were gawping at them like drooling newborn infants unable to control our eye movements. But then CB looks like a grumpy Mount Rushmore president coming at you in real life: his head is all massive and granitey. With the added Huq-factor, there was plenty to involuntarily gawp at.

Mainly though, we were gawping cos we’d successfully, though accidentally, summoned Brooker like an evil comedy genie. Moments before he appeared, conversation had randomly turned to a loud discussion of his TV output. Coincidence? I’m pretty sure I said his name at least 3 times: anyone familiar with the Candyman films will know this is enough to invoke an evil spirit. Upon revealing himself, Brooker looked a bit angry (presumably because we’d rudely extracted him from the dark netherworld in which he usually dwells). I suspect it was at this point he used his nefarious powers to enter my subconscious, where he’s been stalking me ever since.

So: does anyone know how to stop a bilious dream satirist? Burying him in ground consecrated by Holy Water would seem like the obvious way to go, but I’m happy to consider other suggestions.

Aspiring chefs are often asked to prove their culinary prowess by frying an egg, the logic being that, if you fuck up a simple Grade A, you have no business near the fois gras.

The division of Hollywood in charge of adapting comic books into films should be given the same chore. Before they make any more comic book movies, they need to provide us with one decent Punisher film.

As a character, the Punisher is blissfully simple; a ‘one man war on crime’ with a worldview as black and white as his costume. His mantra, ‘the guilty must be punished’, is the starkest modus operandi in all of comic-dom, the basest and the most relatable. Let Peter Parker wax philosophical about the coupling of great responsibility with great power, and let the X-Men ask why we can’t all just get along. In the Punisher’s world there is no rhetoric about the human condition, only unwavering Right and Wrong, and decisive action taken to excise the latter from among us. He is a stock character, half Howard Beale and half Travis Bickle, but with the drive, focus, training and, most importantly, arsenal to make a difference where those two couldn’t.

With such an illustrious pedigree you’d think the Punisher would thrive on the silver screen, but not so.

There have been three attempts at film adaptations in the past 20 years, none of them correct. 1989’s Dolph Lundgren joint can be dismissed outright. The more recent Punisher War Zone was way off, with Ray Stevenson portraying Pun as a monotone meatblock whose unbelievable flamboyance showed a complete misunderstanding of the character. The best adaptation to date would be the one starring Thomas Jane, but only by default.

The common shortcoming in all three films is their failure to show Frank Castle’s real motivation.

Frank Castle was not transformed into the Punisher by the murder of his family by gangsters. Rather, their deaths freed the Punisher from Frank Castle. With his trust in society and morality completely stripped away, Castle could totally discard his Super-Ego and let his id remake the world as he thought it should be. His ‘motivation’ is defined by the human condition itself; another reason that, despite his extreme behaviour, he is the character that seems most familiar to us.

Movie producers, directors, et al, are sitting on a goldmine with the Punisher, but haven’t yet struck a vein. Until they do, they have no business tackling the more intricate aspects of the comics universe. Hands off Thor, Tinseltown. Before you whisk us off to Asgard for an audience with gods, you need to tell the simple tale of a Marine and one-time priest turned vigilante on the humble streets of New York City.  

The Punisher is your egg, Hollywood. Let’s see if you can crack him.

Abbiamo cominciato settimana scorsa una lunga e dolorosa discesa negli inferi delle produzione cinematografiche a soggetto supereroistico. Insomma, i film brutti tratti dai fumetti. Se volete scoprire quanto si può cadere in basso, continuate a leggere e puppatevi un’escalation di terrore dalla posizione numero 12 alla 10. Oddio che ansia.

12 The Punisher, Jonathan Hensleigh, 2004

Qualcuno si ricorda il vecchio film sul Punitore con Dolph Lundgren senza manco il teschio sulla maglia? Dai, quello che in italiano non si sa per quale motivo è uscito con il titolo Il Vendicatore… C’è anche una sequenza dove si vede un telegiornale, un anchorman che parla di tale Vendicatore e dietro di lui c’è una scritta gigante: Punisher… No, per dire l’accurataggine con cui era fatto… Eh? Ve lo ricordate? Eh? Era brutto… Ma questo è peggio. Si prende un altro biondo (Thomas Jane) lo si tinge di nero, gli si mette un teschio sul vestito (almeno quello…) e poi si fa di tutto per rovinare la saga Bentornato, Frank, quella di Ennis e Dillon. E tra un pezzo dei Nickelback e uno del chitarrista degli Evanescence, ce la si fa alla grande. Ad uscirne peggio di tutti è proprio il Punitore, qui snaturato in ogni sua caratteristica, soprattutto – diciamo così – “psicologica”. John Travolta, nella parte del cattivo, è semplicemente deprimente. Per la cronaca l’ultimo film dedicato al personaggio, The Punisher War Zone, massacrato ovunque dalla critica e da noi uscito direttamente in dvd, non è per niente male. Cioè, a confronto sembra un film di Orson Welles e a questo ci straspezza la schiena. Non a caso si è dovuti ripartire da zero… Per farvi capire quante cazzate si possono dire in un film, vediamo come ce li cava a spiegare tutto quello che muove Frank Castle nella sua vendetta cieca e senza fine in soli 32 fottutissimi secondi.

Attore di pregio che qui mette a rischio la sua carriera:
Roy Scheider (R.I.P.)

11 X-Men le origini – Wolverine, Gavin Hood, 2009

Diciamolo subito, hanno fatto un brutto casino con Deadpool. Un bruttissimo casino. Non è nemmeno un film discreto in cui han fatto un bruttissimo casino con Deadpool, oppure un film che raggiunge a mala pena la sufficenza in cui han fatto un bruttissimo casino con Deadpool, no, è un grosso film di merda in cui han fatto un bruttissimo casino con Deadpool. E dire che dietro c’è la penna del romanziere/sceneggiatore de la 25esima ora di Spike Lee. Al famoso monologo di Norton davanti lo specchio andrebbe aggiunto “Fanculo te! Sceneggiatore, produttore, regista di Hollywood che quando si ritrova ad dover fare un film sui Super Eroi, invece di attingere da quelle migliaia di ottime storie, si inventa cazzate dal nulla, rovinandomi la giornata ed il mio megasecchio di popcorn”

Perchè diamine Deadpool assomiglia a Voldemort sotto steroidi con un giochino della settimana enigmistica sul petto? Perchè?

(Girano voci sul fatto che in un probabile Wolverine 2 o spin-off su Deadpool si scoprirà che il pelato di cui sopra non sia in realtà Wide Wilson)

Attore di pregio che qui mette a rischio la sua carriera:
Danny Huston

10 The Spirit, Frank Miller, 2008

La totale e definitiva perdita di credibilità per un uomo che per un certo periodo è stato nei nostri cuori… come dire: la conferma della fine di Frank Miller passa sicuramente attraverso questo film. Dopo essere stato incoronato dal grande Will Eisner come suo successore e custode dei segreti della non arte, Miller è riuscito a scontentare chiunque facendo trasparire per altro anche una certa cattiva fede. In barba a qualsiasi rispetto per la fonte originale, al personaggio The Spirit viene applicato in laboratorio il trattamento Sin City (vi ricordate? Si può fare lo stesso anche a Charlie Brown… ) . Il risultato si commenta da solo. Se già il passaggio da carta stampata a grande schermo era stata non priva di difetti per Marv e compagni, figuriamoci in questo caso. Dopo dieci minuti passa la voglia di vivere anche al più entusiasta degli spettatori e l’idea di una possibile uscita in sala di Sin City 2 e Sin City 3 mette paura. Deligato… Fortunatamente non è piaciuto praticamente a nessuno per cui forse Frank Miller per un po’ la smetterà di essere definito un Autore visionario. Ma ne dubito.

Attore di pregio che qui mette a rischio la sua carriera:
Samuel L. Jackson.

Parte 1: dalla 15 alla 13

Adriano & FEDEmc

This Wednesday there’s a lot of interesting stuff coming out, if you ask me. New comics by Morrison, Ellis and Azzarello. Steve Dillon’s return to the Punisher. And so forth. More details here.

G.

The time has come once again to walk down the hall of mighthavebeen and look out of the window to the fields of neverwill with this installment of Dream Team.

This go round, we’re not looking at a title so much as a super team within a title. This one is going to read more like a fantasy football roster.

It’s a little known fact that I enjoy Marvel’s Defenders. The premise appeals to me more than the line-up: a group of heroes who don’t really like eachother or know each other that well get together infrequently to stop extinction level events.

Sure, this is how most teams start out. The beauty is that the Defenders never go on to gel as a team. There’s no headquarters, no signal, no symbol, no table that everyone sits around…nothing. It’s the team your dad would put together if he needed help working in the yard one weekend. Anyone helping out is there because they didn’t have anything better to do. And so help me, I love ‘em for it.

So who do I put on this farm team for the Avengers? While the “membership” grew over time, I’m going to contain myself to the original format of only four members.

1. The Punisher. To say that Frank Castle is not a team player is like saying that Chris Claremont is a little wordy, but that’s the general idea of The Defenders. From a story telling point of view, I like the idea of the Punisher on the team because he’d add a twisted fish out of water spin. He’s also really good at improvising in a pinch. So what that he relies on guns and explosives? You’re facing the Punisher and he just ran out of ammo? Don’t stop to gloat. Sure as anything his next move is to fuck your shit up with whatever is at hand…even if it’s your hand.

2. Hank Pym. How this loser is still an Avenger is beyond me. He shrinks; he grows; he whines; he creates robots bent on killing him and his friends, and yet he’s been on practically every roster of the team. Being this much of a gomer is automatic nomination to Defenders for me. Besides, every team needs a science guy.

3. Namor. He helped get the ball rolling with the original team. Why is he a Defender? Being an Avenger is too much drama; Reed won’t let him near the FF; and Atlantis pretty much runs itself. I’d like to see him teamed with Pym. Imagine the boundless insults and slurs. It doesn’t hurt that he’s got his own army and is really strong.

4. Rounding out the roster is Valkyrie. She’s got history with the team. She’s got a great costume, a sword, and a winged horse. A WINGED HORSE.

That’s my Defenders team. The book I read when I dream at night. Enjoy comics tomorrow.

Rebecca Romijn

 

Rebecca Alie Romijn (pronounced ro-MAIN; born November 6, 1972) is an American actress (2000-present) and former model (1991-2001). She is best known for her role as Mystique in the X-Men films, and for her role as Alexis Meade on the hit show Ugly Betty.

Rebecca Romijn as Mystique in X-Men

Rebecca Romijn

Among other jobs, Romijn started her modeling career in 1992. She modeled for the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated, Victoria’s Secret, bebe, Miller Litebeer, and for Anna Molinari Runway, along with the famous Super-Models such as Claudia Schiffer, Kate Moss, Naomi Campbell, Linda Evangelista, Cindy Crawford, and Christy Turlington. She also was the host of MTV’s House of Style from 1998 to 2000. Rebecca is a fixture on annual lists of the world’s most beautiful women by publications such as Maxim (2003–2007), AskMen.com (2001–2003, 2005–2006) and FHM (2000–2005). She also appeared as a guest in the animated talk show Space Ghost Coast to Coast in an episode titled “Chinatown.”

In 2000’s X-Men, Romijn had her first major movie role as Mystique; she returned to the role in 2003’s sequel X2: X-Men United, and again for X-Men: The Last Stand (2006). In these movies her costume consisted of blue makeup and some strategically placed prosthetics on her otherwise nude body. In X2: X-Men United she shows up in a bar in one scene in her “normal” look, and also in X-Men: The Last Stand, she appears as a dark-haired “de-powered” Mystique. She had her first leading role in Brian De Palma’s Femme Fatale (2002). She also has starred in movies such as Rollerball, The Punisher and Godsend. She played the leading role in Pepper Dennis, a short-lived TV series on The WB. This series showcased Romijn’s talents for comedy, singing, modeling, drama, and adventure.

In January 2007, Romijn made her first appearance on the ABC series Ugly Betty as a full time regular. She plays Alexis Meade, a male-to-female transsexual and the sibling of lead character Daniel Meade. In April 2008, however, it was reported that Romijn would only be appearing as a recurring character in season 3 due to a change in direction by the writing staff. In November 2007, Romijn made a guest appearance on the ABC series Carpoolers, where she played the ex-wife of the character Laird, played by her real-life husband Jerry O’Connell.

Romijn currently stars in the ABC series Eastwick,  reuniting her with her former Pepper Dennis co-star, Lindsay Price.

Trivia:

Attended the University of California in Santa Cruz but dropped out in 1991 to pursue her modeling career.

One of People Magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful People (1999).

One of People Magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful People (1997).

Is left-handed.

GQ’s Woman Of The Year. [1997]

Has starred in four movies based on Marvel comic book characters: X-Men (2000), X2 (2003), The Punisher (2004) and X-Men: The Last Stand (2006).

Ranked #60 on VH1’s 100 Hottest Hotties

She is of entirely Dutch heritage. Her maternal grandmother is first cousins with Dorothy Letterman, David Letterman’s mother.

Ranked #82 in Stuff magazine’s “102 Sexiest Women In The World” (2002).

Born on the same day as actress Thandie Newton.

She and her ex-husband John Stamos, have both guest-starred on the TV show “Friends” (1994), though not in the same episode.

Announced her engagement to actor Jerry O’Connell in September 2005.

When she was young, her parents didn’t have money, so she had to shop at Value Village.

Still shops at thrift stores.

Named #80 on the Maxim magazine “Hot 100 of 2005″ list.

Ranked as #99 in FHM’s “100 Sexiest Women in the World 2005″ special supplement. (2005)

Ranked #30 on the Maxim magazine Hot 100 of 2007 list.

Measurements in 1998: 35B – 24 – 35.

Sister-in-law of Charlie O’Connell.

Married her boyfriend of 2 1/2 years, Jerry O’Connell, in a surprise backyard ceremony. The couple exchanged vows in front of 100 family and friends that thought that they had been invited to a barbecue.

Appeared as “Adrienne Barker”, Dennis Finch’s girlfriend (and later wife) on several episodes of “Just Shoot Me!” (1997) in 1999 and early 2000. During one scene for that show, Adrienne voices her contempt at Finch’s obsession with science fiction movies, and he retorts that she’d do anything for a part in one of those movies. Subsequently, in July of 2000, she did have a part in such a movie, appearing as “Mystique” in X-Men (2000).

Ranked #58 on the Maxim magazine Hot 100 of 2008 list.

Fan of Dolly Parton.

On December 28, 2008, Rebecca and Jerry welcomed fraternal twin daughters, Dolly Rebecca Rose and Charlie Tamara Tulip.

Along with Ian McKellan playing Magneto in the first three live-action X-Men films, James Franco as Harry Osborn in the first three live-action Spider-Man, and Gene Hackman’s non-consecutive turns as Luthor in three Superman films, one of the few people to play a comic book criminal in three live-action films.

The film Femme Fatale (2002), which she starred in, opened on her 30th birthday in North America. November 6, 2002.

Amazon Specials!

The cover to Punisher #11 introducing FrankenCastle. Image taken from Comic Book Resources

What Is It?

It has recently come to my attention, via an article on Comic Book Resources, that as of Dark Reign-The List-The Punisher, Frank Castle has been murdered and dismembers by the forces of Norman Osborn, the former Green Goblin and current director of H.A.M.M.E.R.. His body is seen at the very end of the issue being carried off by Marvel Sci-Fi characters Man-Thing and a group of Moloids.

Solicitations for Marvel in November tease the coming of “FrankenCastle,” a resurrected Frank Castle carrying on his work as The Punisher. His body has apparently been rebuilt to resemble Frankenstein’s Monster.

What Does It Mean?

We’re all familiar with the term “Jumping The Shark,” right? The alteration of a story in unlikely ways in attempts to renew interest? The idea got its start in television, but it has since wormed its way into other forms of media, including comic books.

The difference between comic books and television though is that while TV requires gross amounts of money to produce a single episode, comics are relatively cheap to produce by comparison. This results in the shark jumping of a television show being considered gospel. But for comics it’s more of an annoyance.

Several comic characters have jumped the shark in the past: Superman gained electricity based powers and a new costume: Peter Parker gave up being Spider-Man and gave the identity to his clone, Ben Reilly, Wonder Woman lost her powers and became a really aggressive feminist, hell, even Captain America was a Werewolf for a while. These are just a few examples. But these changes never lasted too long due to fan outcry. Something would always happen to restore things to the status quo, usually in a just as unbelievable fashion as they changed.

Bet you thought I was making this one up, huh? Taken from Asylums Insanejournal.

Things only go back to normal though, when the changes aren’t liked by the public. There was once a time when Superman was unable to fly, he could just “leap tall buildings in a single bound.” People liked the change though, and it stuck.

I’m curious to see how FrankenCastle will play out. On one hand, it is neat to see a classic character be taken in a new direction. Also, in a sense, The Punisher just doesn’t fit in well with the rest of the Marvel Universe. It’s a world full of Norse Gods, flame-headed spirits of vengeance, and cosmic beings that attack the planet on a regular basis. A guy with a uzi and a grudge can only make it so far.

On the other hand, The Punisher is like the Batman of Marvel Comics: He only works well in his own environment that is relatively down to earth, at least compared with the other goings on in the world.

Punisher: Max is an alternative comic series that has no super-powered beings in it whatsoever. The closest you have to a supervillain in the series is Barracuda, a mercenary who always loses a body part when encountering The Punisher, only to show up the next time with a prosthesis in its place. The Max series is considered to be the one that defined The Punisher.

So the question is: will the public accept the new, edgier Frank Castle, or will they reject him in favor the classic flavor. It is safe to assume that no one who follows the comic is going to pick up a post “The List” series and utter the words, “What the hell is this?”

What do you folks say? The new and improved Punisher do anything for you? let me know in the comments.

Got any comics that you want me to blog about? Comment on that too.

Im looking for hip hop influenced artwork. As I am in my final year of university I have a huge quantity of research to do. My biggest influence is urban music, so after a few hours of looking through blogs and websites i have found some great links to share with everyone.

The Boondocks

The Boondocks is an American animated series created by Aaron McGruder for the american TV channel Adult Swim. It is based upon McGruder’s comic strip, which he started at the end of his college studies.

The Boondocks is a social satire of American culture and race relations (or stereotypes in the world), revolving around the lives of the Freeman family: ten-year-old Huey, his younger brother, eight-year-old Riley, and their grandfather, Robert. Below is a quck youtube click of the animated series. If you haven’t seen any before, its extremely funny but has extremely BAD LANGUAGE.

The artwork is anime influenced but with a hip hop twist. Each series usually has a new character based on an iconic urban artist. The hip hop fashion culture is also expressed through different characters. Some having baggy jeans, jewelry, baseball caps and hoodys. I believe this has been the first comic/ animated series to represent hip hop culture and just the The Simpsons, it is the pioneer of this style so it will stay around for a long time.

Click here to visit the Boondocks Website

Blockhedz

There are lot of hip hop artists that are inspired by superheroes and supervillians. Artist like Big Punisher, Chali 2na, DJ Clark Kent have all obviously started a career by using their favorite characters to kick boost start their music success.

Creators of Blokhedz, Brandon Schultz and the Mad Twiinz, Mike and Mark Davis, write and illustrate the comic book series. The story is about an inner-city MC called Blak, battling the cold streets of Empire City. Boondocks is different as it feeds of stereotypes and media influences to produce storylines, where as Blokheds is more far fetched in character personalities as they have special powers to overcome the villains. Here is a short YouTube video for you to look at

Info from:
Formatmag.com
Mission G

Destroy All Mics

Destroy All Mics is a blog site I have found randomly searching ‘hip hop comics’ in google. I believe the blog site was created by some artists from a collective called Flood Works. The blog site only has 2 pieces of artwork but they are worth looking at. I would love to see them create more iconic hip hop figures. The image above is called BRO.D.O.C., the BROther Designed Only for Chillin’. It is a mash up of the hip hop legend Notorious BIG and the marvel character MODOK which i think is pretty cool

Click here to visit the blog site

MAYHEM

I have a previous post about Tyrese’s Mayhem comic book so I wont say to much about it. Click here to read it. Tyrese starred in the comic book movie Transformers, Revenge of the Fallen and just after the release of Transformers 2, he launched the series of Mayhem.

EMINEM

The Amreican superstar rapper, producer and actor is a globally recognized artist. He has had sold out concerts worldwide, multi platinum albums and Slim Shady clothing line, so he has become a huge icon for many different cultures and races. After winning a grammy in 1999 for his debut album “Slim Shady LP” he is now recognized as one of the most influential hip hop stars of all time. One thing I admire about him is comical music videos. Here is the video for the single”Without Me,” where he poses as a superhero called Rap Boy

Eminem also has a animated series called The Slim Shady Show A youtube clip is below. WARNING it has bad language.

To be at the top of the game you need great marketing strategies. So just before the release of his previous albumThe Relapse he featured in the comic series The Punisher. Click here to read the EMINEN VS THE PUNISHER. I didnt think it was that great but its something different. Eminem seems to love the comic book look and I hope he continues to push his creativity through illustration and animation.

by Jason Aaron (writer), Steve Dillon (art), Matt Hollingsworth (colors), and Cory Petit (letters)

The Story: In a final desperate bid to stay alive, the mob creates a final scheme to kill the Punisher – Operation Kingpin.

What’s Good: How much do you like Garth Ennis?  Your answer will largely determine how much you like Aaron’s approach to Punishermax.

That being said, even for readers unfamiliar with Ennis’ work, this is far, far from a bad comic.  It’s got all the desperate scheming, outrageous gore, torture, and general nastiness that you’d expect from the Max line.  However, for those die-hard Ennis fans like myself, this book is a real treat, one part love-song and two parts nostalgia trip.

This book literally feels like it fell out of a time machine as Jason Aaron channels Ennis so effectively, you’d think it was the man himself.  In fact, Aaron starts the series off right with a scene that is outrageously gory.  So gory is this display that it borders on being slapstick.  Then, in a manner that is straight out of Ennis’ playbook, this grotesque sequence leads to a joke that is both ridiculous and uproarious.   It’s so appalling that it shouldn’t work, and yet it does for that very reason.  This humorous sequence alone shows that Jason Aaron knows how to work this series: it’s all about pushing those boundaries so far past the brink that one can only laugh and gape simultaneously.

The scene also reminds us that Wilson Fisk is a bad, bad man.  When I first heard Aaron’s decision to bring in an alternate-universe Kingpin, I was concerned.  However, I actually found myself enjoying the character.  He’s devious, imposing, and though he speaks little, every word he says counts.  Taking him out of the Marvel Universe also gives Aaron the freedom to explore the character in ways otherwise not possible.  Seeing Fisk fly under the radar or catching a glimpse of him as a family is uniquely enjoyable.

One also can’t downplay the impact of Steve Dillon.  Without him, this comic would not have been the rousing success that it is.  It’s thanks in no small part to his efforts that this book is the callback to the glory days that it is.  The man has not lost a step.  This is clearly the guy behind Preacher and he makes no attempt to disguise that fact.  Dillon’s performance can simply be described as one thing: giving the hardcore Punisher fan what he/she wants.  And of course, Aaron’s gory sight-gag would not be possible without Dillon, who’s probably got a doctorate in that sort of depravity by now.

What’s Not So Good: This book succeeds at establishing its world, but it comes at the cost of Frank Castle’s presence.  The Punisher just isn’t in this book as much as you might expect, what with half the issue being spent on a single conversation between the various mob bosses.  Frankly, you’d expect a first issue to see more Punisher-related awesomeness, but it never really comes outside of an admittedly gruesome torture scene.  Even when the Punisher does get some combat in, he’s relegated to shooting a few baddies in the background while the focus remains on Fisk.  I expected him to be a little more front and center, or get a bit more page-time than he did.

Honestly, I was just hoping for a little more excess and mass murder out of Frank.  Is that too much to ask?

Conclusion: Welcome back, Frank.

Grade: A-

-Alex Evans