With Daddy in the mall play area. She was the only kid there.

So, this past week was sort of slow.  I thought multiple times about doing a post, but couldn’t really think of anything to post about.  And yesterday…well, the day sort of stretched into eternity.  I don’t know how, but it felt like so much longer than just 24 hours.

In reality, there’s lot going on around here.  Just most of it is with our favorite thirteen month old.

Teething.  We’ve got three molars poking their way through (not so sure where that fourth one is yet).  Sophia sailed right through teething all eight of the teeth she’s gotten so far, and really the only sign I knew something was up was she slept more during the day (not less, as is so often the case).  This go around has been slightly more hairy.  Thankfully, she still sleeps right through the night, but days have been miserable.  So miserable, in fact, that we took her to the doctor this morning to make sure she didn’t have any sort of an ear infection.  She didn’t.  “Her ears are absolutely clean; this is all teeth.”  On one hand, it was a relief–no ear infection.  On the other hand, it was disappointing.  If it had been an infection, at least we could do something about it.  As it is, we can give her tylenol and some extra cuddle time, but that’s about it.

Nap times.  I’ve been fighting this one for a while, but I think it’s finally time to surrender to a one-nap-per-day schedule.  Lately, she’s begun resisting her afternoon nap more and more, to the point where she just lays back there and talks to herself for an hour or so.  Not so bad, but it pretty much means she’s all slept up and doesn’t really need to be back there in the first place.  So, starting today, we’re going down to one nap at 11:30 and see how she does.  If she can get in 2 hours of sleep per nap, she’ll go from 7:30-11:30 (4 hours) and then 1:30-6:30 (5 hours) and to bed between 6:30 and 7, which is normal.  Not too bad.  I am going to miss that second nap, but really it’s been more frustrating trying to force her to take it lately, so, if this works out, I think it will be nice to have the predictable aspect of it.

Signing.  This is probably the most surprising of all.  As I am a sign language interpreter, I have been signing with her some…but not much.  I did it a lot when she was little, but felt ridiculous signing to a baby that was so young her eyes couldn’t even focus on my moving hands.  So, I stopped.  But sure enough, last night, as we ate spaghetti for dinner, when her high chair tray was clean, she signed MORE.  So, we gave her more.  Then when it was clean again, she again signed MORE.  So, we gave her more.  Then this morning, she was eating mac n cheese and after each noodle was chewed and swallowed, she again signed MORE.  The interpreter in me beams, because her hand shape is perfect form.  I’m so excited, and it makes me even more ready to hear all her stories and just what exactly is going on in that little head of hers. :)

Our favorite little girl.

You are one!  Happy birthday, my sweet girl!  What a year it has been.  In many ways it has felt like a year, and yet, in so many other ways I can hardly imagine my life before I met you, hard to believe there even was a life before you.

I remember almost every minute of the last few days leading up to your arrival.  Daddy and I had one last date to Panera for a free smoothie he’d gotten a coupon for (Daddy doesn’t like smoothies very much, so he gave it to me).  As we drove home that evening on May 16^th, I told him not to get excited but that I had been having contractions and they were painful.  When I woke up early the next morning and realized I was in labor, I woke him from a very deep sleep and it wasn’t until we were heading out the door to the hospital that he said, “So, this is it?”  Yes.  You weren’t going to come for almost another full day, but this was it.  When we would next walk through our door, we’d be holding you in our arms.

And it’s been a year.  A year of growing and stretching and changing and learning and learning and learning.

But we’ve learned.  Once, shortly after we brought you home, one of your grandmas was helping me change your diaper and she said, “Do you want to put Desitin on her every time you change her?”  I remember thinking, “I have no idea!  What am I supposed to do?  What’s the right thing to do?”  Another time, overcome with fear and anxiety about whether I could do this Mom Thing, I woke that grandma up at 2am, and expressed all my fears about the days ahead.  She assured me that I could do it, though it would be hard.  I would learn.

And, my dear sweet child, it has come and continues to come more so each day.

I cannot express in mere words my joy in being your Mom.  I love coming in each morning to wake you up, or more appropriately pick you up since most mornings you’re already awake.  I love tickling your chubby thighs as I change you and hearing you squeal with laughter as I kiss your toes or blow on your tummy.  I love counting the few hairs you have on your head and watching as each tooth proceeds from your gums.  I love the different parts of your little baby body—your beautiful blue eyes, your soft little shoulders, your chubby little hands, your sausage feet, your round little ears.  And I love how each day you are becoming more and more like a little girl, holding, toddling, and jabbering.  To look at you is to see myself and your Daddy in one little package, and it only makes me love you more.

Your Daddy and I anxiously wait for the day you will tell us your hopes and dreams (Daddy also wants to hear all your secrets!).  We know there is a wealth of treasures behind those bright blue eyes and we look forward to discovering it.   You are nothing but a gift, and we are excited to enjoy the days we are given with you.

And so, as much as it is slightly sad to see your first birthday, it is so much more a celebration of your life.  A celebration of where we’ve come and how much we’ve learned and grown over these last 366 days (2012 was a leap year :).  So, let’s celebrate!  All the Lord has done and all He will do!

I often pray that the Lord will allow your Daddy and I to see your children one day.  This first year He has given us with you has grown us, stretched us, taught us, and molded us.  In His Grace, may we be humble, thankful, and teachable as we strive to be Godly parents to you.  May your heart be soft to the things of the Lord.  May He call you to Himself at an early age.  May you follow where He leads you, near or far.  May we care for you and train you in what would please Him.  May we hold you tight enough that you are safe, but never so tight that you are immune to what the Lord has for you.  May our prayer always be for His Glory to be displayed in your life.

I cherish you, my sweet girl.   May there be many, many more days of laughing, learning, and growing together.

Love, Momma

Some of my favorite moments of your first year:

Happy Birthday, My Little Love!!

Sophia here.  It’s been a while since I’ve been on, so I thought I’d let you in on some of what I’ve been doing.  I’ve got this wonderful Daddy who loves to play with me.  Sometimes Mommy records it, and I thought I’d show you just a little bit of what Daddy and I do together.

Daddy and I like to play with my toys.  Sometimes he plays with them.  But he’s not always very good at it.  See?

This was at my Great Uncle Don and Great Aunt Lisa’s place.  They’ve got these wonderful hardwood floors.  Perfect for sliding around!!

Here I’m playing Ball for the first time ever!!  Watch out!!

It’s kind of dark but just think of it as “artistic.” :-)

Mostly, I love it when Daddy tickles me.  But I’m sort of shy and don’t giggle much when the camera is rolling.  But don’t worry.  I’ve heard being shy is just a phase, and I’ll get back to my normal hammy self soon!  :-)

They normally look something like this. It was this morning's picture.

But sometimes they're silly--we hadn't seen that crease in her brow since she was a newborn.

Sometimes, we haven't quite gotten ready for our day yet (ahem, morning hair...).

Sometimes the family gets in on it, like when my parents were visiting. :)

Occasionally, we get distracted...

Okay, well, a lot we get distracted.

But they always bring a smile to Daddy's face. This was our fashionable picture (we're both wearing skirts--duh! :)

And it's probably safe to say that morning pictures will be a part of our lives for a long time to come. :)

So, like I said earlier, Happy Morning to You!

Love, Lydia and Sophia :)

In honor of Sophia turning 10 months, I’ll let you in on a little photo shoot we had the other day.  She was dressed in what I think is my favorite outfit I’ve ever put her in (So, you’ll probably be seeing a lot more of it :).  I spent about thirty minutes crawling on the floor, following her around with my camera.  I took close to 90 pictures.  About 10 turned out. :)

Playing on her mat.

I absolutely love her neck and shoulders!!

Playing with a clothes pin.

Ah, those beautiful blue eyes...

Can't forget about her toes--My current obsession.

Studious at even this early age. ;)

Favorite position these days.

Our beautiful little Sophia. We pray wisdom and grace follows you wherever you go.

Speaking of the Banana, she just had her nine-month check up today.  She’s a little closer to ten months by now, but same-same. :-)  She’s 28 inches in height, which puts her in the 52% percentile, and she weighs 16 pounds, 6.4 ounces, which puts her in the 16% percentile.  She’s lost almost a full pound due to the stomach bug we had last week, so that’s the main reason for her low-ish weight.  The doctor, however, said that since she was on the smaller side at birth, she’d probably always be slim (good news, Sophia–you take after Daddy’s side!!).

And that is that.  Her next check up will be (wait for it, wait for it) her ONE YEAR!!  Can you believe it?!  In so many ways it’s flown by, and yet, in so many others, it’s definitely felt like a year.  I’m so grateful for her presence in our lives.  And I’m not feeling super poignant, so that’s about all I’ve got right now.

I did, however, want to show off some of my recent online finds.  Since her year birthday is coming up and nothing that fit her a year ago will fit her now (um…duh, Lydia!), I’m scouting 12 month summer outfits so she doesn’t have to go naked all the time. ;)

I got these 8 complete outfits on eBay for $17.50 (including shipping).

These six outfits were bought "free" via Listia.com. If you haven't heard of it, you should check it out. Items are "sold" for credits which are used to "purchase" other items. Confused? I was too, but it's not too bad now that I've got the hang of it. :)

And that’s all we’ve got for now! :)

What didn’t make sense to me was how a child, namely one who could get himself out of the bucket would drown in small amounts of water.  Can he not stand?  Can he not raise his head?  Can he not flail his arms and legs until he comes free of whatever he might be trapped in keeping him in the water?

But recently, I’ve begun taking note of what Sophia does in the bathtub.  She’s graduated from her little baby tub that held her, supported her, and kept her generally caged in, and she’s now in the regular bath, splashing and swimming and slipping.  The last couple of baths, she’s begun putting her face in the water, and a couple times, attempting to breath like normal, she’s sucked water in her nose or gulped it in her mouth and sputtered and coughed until she regained her breath.

This morning, I was looking at the warning label on the side of our laundry detergent (we buy the Sam’s detergent, which is good for 32,967 loads of laundry, and it needs its own warning label).  And I realized that this is how a child would drown.  A child comes into contact with more water than air, such as could be stagnant in a bucket, and inhales the water while breathing like normal.   Because he doesn’t yet realize that water is for drinking, not for breathing.

Maybe it’s just the mother in me, but I see a startling parallel between this accident that could destroy and my current role as her protector and shepherd in this world.  As a child, she is unaware of dangers, unexperienced in many consequences of actions, she doesn’t have the discernment that she will have, and she doesn’t have the ability to process things as an adult does.  Some of this is biological, some of this is developmental, some of this is emotional.  It doesn’t really make a difference.

My job is to give her what I believe is appropriate for her age.  Some biological.  For now, she’ll wear diapers and drink formula.  She’ll sleep in her crib that has rails on it so she doesn’t fall out.  Some developmental.  She’ll play with wooden blocks and spend much of her day merely crawling around on the floor exploring.  Some emotional.  She’ll get all the cuddle time she wants, and we’ll spend lots of hours tickling her and playing with her.  And some is progressive.  She won’t be watching certain movies or drinking coffee any time soon, and she won’t be behind the wheels of a car until we feel she’s ready.

My point is this: Just as a young child doesn’t have the discernment to know that water is not for breathing, so they do not have the discernment to know what is best for them in many situations.  We as parents must make those decisions for them.  As they grow, develop, learn, progress the reigns are slowly handed over to the child, bit by bit, and the intended outcome is a child-now-adult who has judgement and can discern the water from the air.

“I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it.” (1 Cor. 3:2).  So says the Apostle Paul in First Corinthians.  What a neat analogy he makes!  Is he not thinking as a spiritual parent to his spiritual children who are still learning what is water and what is air?

A side note here is that water is not in and of itself bad.  A youth pastor I sat under for many years once said, “Water is essential for life.  But too much can kill you.”  So, toys and movies and sugar and recreation can all be wonderful parts of

life and should be enjoyed; however, there can be harm in certain movies or too much sugar or some types or recreation.  My hope is we will establish in Sophia an ability to decide beneficial from harmful and so help her learn how to protect herself from much detriment.

For now, she is a child, I am her parent.  She is young and unexperienced, I am older and more experienced.  She is naively unaware, and I am startlingly aware.  Can I protect her from everything?  Absolutely not.  Will I always be able to make choices for her?  No.  But our hope is that when that time comes, we will have instilled in her the ability to do it for herself.  This is our goal.  Lord willing.

So, today, I thought I’d just share what my favorite part of my little girl is as of late.

It should be noted that over the course of her 9-month life, such parts of her as her shoulders, ears, back, ears, and, well, her ears have al made the cut.  Right now, it’s…

Just one more reason why she's my favorite!

So, most days Mommy runs around and does these things she calls “chores.”  I’m not really sure what they are, but she tells me that I better watch closely because someday, I will be doing some of them.  But that’s okay.  They don’t look too bad.

Sometimes, she opens this big white box in the kitchen and takes different things out.  Then she mixes them all together and puts that in another box for a while.  Then her and Daddy sit down and eat whatever it was she mixed together.  She doesn’t like it when I try to help with this one.

Sometimes, she takes all my clothes and puts them in a big box and they spin around and around and around.  Then she puts them in another box and they spin around some more.  This one’s my favorite.

But today, she was doing one that kind of confuses me.  She gets out this blue thing.  It’s really tall, and really loud, and she pushes it all over the house.  She doesn’t like it when I try to help with this one either.  So, today, she put me in that big pink thing.  I didn’t like that very much. Then she moved me all over while she pushed that blue thing all over.  That was okay, but I’d like to get on the ground and figure out what that blue thing is!

She said, “You’re so small, you’ll get sucked up.”

Momma, I’m almost 9 whole months old! I’m not that small.

Oh, well.  Maybe someday she’ll let me help her more.  And I can’t wait!

“It’s amazing how many tragic stories start just like that–’By the time I’d returned,’” he responded.  He was far from scolding me, however.  He was just stating a fact.

In this stage that we’re at, where everything from a dead moth on the ground to toilet paper (which very much isn’t on the ground) has the potential to become food, I’m so very aware of my inability to prevent so much.

Sometimes it’s comical.  Like yesterday, when I had to halt our Skyping with my parents because “Sophia just ate a leaf.”  “A leaf?” my dad asked.  “You mean like from a tree?”  I absolutely mean a leaf like from a tree.  (Vegetarian in the making?)  To be fair, we were out on the porch showing my grandmother the view from our backyard (we don’t make a habit of allowing leaves to linger very long under our actual roof).

Sometimes it’s scary, like when I left the room for only a second and came back to find her under the bed tangled in electric blanket wires.

Kevin and I have a running joke in our house every time someone comments that “Babies are miracles.”  Actually, they’re not.  For the very definition of a miracle is something that “appears inexplicable by the laws of nature and so is held to be supernatural in origin or an act of God.”  By that definition, babies are quite natural and the most un-miraculous things in the world.

Adults, however…

The fact that any of us make it out of new-born-ness, where we can do really nothing more than sleep, poop, and eat (and even then, the eating takes practice)…

That we then become infants who don’t have the prowess to match our abilities and can’t comprehend that diving head-first off a bed or chewing on the business end of an electric cord are not good ideas…

The fact that we then leap full-on into childhood, where our supreme narcissism and ego centrism are on display in the toy-sharing, boy-hating, and tantrum-throwing that fills many a day…

Following this, we then become walking, talking, breathing accidents waiting to happen as our bodies change, our emotions become roller coasters, and we think we can do anything (“You’re still there, right, Mom?  Good.  Now go away.”)…

After this is where I’m learning the true miracle happens.  Because even after all those falls, spills, trips, and accidents, we arrive, somehow, someway at adulthood.  And what do many of us do?  Perpetuate the cycle and bring forth our own little non-miracles who will, Lord-willing, somehow find their way to adulthood (the real miracle).

So, what is this?  Some rant against the miraculous?  Hardly.

It’s more a marvel that no matter that I can’t watch Sophia every second, and I can’t keep her from sticking every scrap of dust in her mouth, she’s thriving.  And though I will continue to do my darndest, I must surrender that she’s not ultimately mine, nor is the Will that’s ordained for her in my hands.

I went through a short-lived period after she was born of worrying about all kinds of things–the what-ifs, coulds, shoulds, and maybes.  It lasted only a day or two before I realized that I would literally drive myself crazy if I continued down that path.

For now, I’ll continue to vacuum as much as possible, throw away any dead bugs I see lingering, and perfect my swipe of her mouth when she’s chewing on something I know I didn’t feed her.  I’ll probably even keep checking on her occasionally while she sleeps just to make sure she’s breathing.

And when #2 comes along and I’m only able to offer half my attention to each, well, that’s when I’ll know their adulthood really is a miracle.  :)

Me and My Little Non-Miracle. :)

P.S. If you don’t like that explanation or it violates some warm, cuddly way you’ve always looked at babies, feel free to take it up with Dr. Overstreet, whom Kevin and I both studied under in college.  He said it first and we haven’t been able to forget it since.

I didn’t like it when she was crying all the way down to Kevin’s parent’s house the other day.  Yes, all hour and a half of the trip, she would nod off for twenty-five seconds and I would begin to let go a sigh of relief, just to have her start round two, or round four, or round seventy-six.  It ended with me, teary-eyed from my own worn out crying, arriving at my mother in law’s house, only to have her whisk away my definitely-not-sleepy child so I could have a couple of hours to myself.  What can I say?  The woman is a saint (my mother in law; Sophia still has a bit to go before woman-hood ;).

I also don’t like the banshee-like wail she’s starting to give us when we put her down for naps and that just wasn’t the next thing on her agenda.  And since we can now stand, she pulls herself up, looking pitifully over the top of her crib and just wails.  And wails.  And wails.  Until someone comes in to get her.  It really is almost comical, because I’ve always thought she was quite pretty when she cries.  Her face doesn’t scrunch up like a prune or turn red like a beat.  If she was in a silent movie, you’d never even know she was crying because the sound escapes her lips nearly without them moving.  I digress.

So, why do I say I’m learning to like her crying?  Well, it’s sort of weird and something that defies a specific explanation, as I’m learning so much in this world of mothering is.

Back when we first brought her home, Kevin would just listen to her cry and he even told me his family used to talk about how “pretty” a baby’s cry was.  Sounded like madness then (and it still sort of does).  But I think I’m coming to appreciate her crying as her way of talking to us.  Her little vocabulary, if you will.  She can’t speak and her emotionally maturity is such that nearly anything can tip her tear ducts, so it shouldn’t surprise me when her tummy needs filling so she cries.  ”Mommy, snack?”  Or she’s a bit too tired to play so she cries.  ”Sleepy, Mommy.”  Or she bumps her head a little too hard so she cries.  ”Ow, Mommy!”

And in that last one, I don’t like her being hurt.  The scant bruises and little bumps she’s had along the way are not something I relish.  But I do so love being able to comfort her.  Holding her as she cries or rocking her after a spill.  I am the familiar face she recognizes and mine are the eyes she looks to for assurance and peace in the midst of what chaos comes her way.  Oh, and I love that.  It cements that she is my daughter and I her mother.

I don’t wish tears on her, but I do hope to keep enjoying these moments with my daughter.  Learning her.  Loving her.

For starters, Mom is calling me her little dust mop. I’m not really sure what that means, but i guess it’s ok.

I’m learning to feed myself.

Oh, and I’m trying out for the summer Olympics this year! I’d give this a 10!

Last, I’ve got these two weird things sticking up in my mouth that Mommy and Daddy are all excited about.  I’m not sure what all the fuss is about.  They kinda hurt for a while, but they’re alright now…I guess.

So, I guess that’s all for now, but I’m sure there will be plenty of more new things happening in my world soon enough.  See you then!! :)

Love, Sophia

Now that she's crawling, every time I turn around, there she is.

Quite plainly, there aren't words...

Play time...

and read time.

Bath time

and more me time.

Because of all this and more, I'm your girl.

Oh, yeah...

and I like to suck on your shoelaces too when Mom's not looking.

And we’re back.  Back to work and grocery shopping and bills and finances.  Back to normalcy.

But wait!  What is this?  It’s supposed to snow?!  Yup!!  We’re supposed to enjoy our first snow of the season this week.  Whether it actually happens is another story, but isn’t just the prospect exciting?

So, I’m off shortly to grocery shop because, well, we have nothing to eat in our fridge and it would be all sorts of horrible if it did actually snow and we couldn’t get down our hill to find sustenance.

But, I shall leave you with a picture of Sophia’s first sink bath.  We tried everything in my parent’s tub, and she screamed like a mad woman every time.  It wasn’t pretty.  So, finally, my mom washed out the kitchen sink and we used that.  It faired quite nicely. :)

Ah!! I just love that bald little head!! :)

Hope your week is off to a wonderful start!!

So, here, I am.  Miles from my beloved and my baby.  Making phone calls for Deaf people like my life (or just a crazy good time!) depends on it.

And in the middle of my five and half hour shift, I get this in my email inbox from Kev:

Today she’s six months old and weighing in at 15 pounds, 1 ounce.  Oh, what these last six months have held for us–we never could have imagined!

Here’s a short video of her when she was only hours old:

And here’s one Kevin made of some of her milestones:

The first time she tried solids:

One of my favorite videos of her laughing (because nobody makes her laugh like Daddy does):

Little Girl, we love you and can't wait to see what the next six months and beyond hold!

 ”Sons are a heritage from the LORD;

Children a reward from Him.”

~Psalm 127:3

Half the time I can't even find her!!

Life is just more fun when you're mobile.

I’ve sort of been living in denial that she’s actually at the creeping/crawling stage.  But day by day, there is no denying that she’s definitely getting there even if she’s not completely there yet.

And after her second nap, she was in a feisty mood.  I’m telling you, you don’t want to get in this kid’s way!

And because she’s Kevin Fowler’s daughter, we’ve already got her playing on the iPad. :)

Daddy corrupting her.

But in reality, she doesn’t seem to even need us…

On a completely unrelated note, I couponed again this week.  Total before coupons: $80.31; Total after coupons: $47.14.  Total savings: $33.17.  Items bought include: Ritz crackers, Del Monte Peaches, French’s Fried Onions, Green Giant canned and frozen veggies, Pepperidge Farm bread, Eggland’s Best eggs, and more!!  Not bad, eh? :)

Hope your week is off to a great start!

Well, let me introduce you to her.  I met her 8 years ago, upon coming this a’way for college.  I was a college freshman; she was an 8th grader (I think :).  She’s now almost a college graduate.  She was in my wedding, and we’ve kept close over the years, even when there’s been years between seeing each other.  I mean, what else can I say?  She’s awesome. :)

Doesn't she look like fun? Sophia sure thought so!!

And wouldn't you love someone who made eating so much fun!?

I think they'll be friends.

Yay!! Maybe that means she’ll come visit again!  The blessing of sharing my home with a close friend was wonderful, and I can’t wait to see her again. :)

And we’ve got more company coming tomorrow, but you’ll just have to come back to see who… :)

We only made it to six houses, but most of that can be blamed on my not having dressed Sophia warmly enough.  Her little nose was redder than Rudolph’s by the time we got back.

Not the best picture, but you can at least see some of her costume. She was a trooper and didn't fight it at all. :)

Most people, especially the elderly ones, were delighted at the sight of a little baby in costume, except one man who didn't want to give us any candy for fear we were actually going to feed it to her.

In the end, we were left with one tuckered out little bug...

...and her spoils to enjoy. :)

Surely there's a baby in there somewhere...

When I uncovered her this is what I saw:

She'd nestled into probably the warmest, softest part of her crib.

Just more proof that she truly is her mother’s daughter. :)

I was looking around our old pictures the other day and came across one that I’d forgotten I’d taken of Sophia in the corner of the couch.  She just looked so tiny!!  And it reminded me that she’s growing up–fast!  So, I opted not to attempt to stuff her into the outfit she was wearing in the first picture, though that would have given the full effect.  Instead, you’ll just have to settle for the un-full effect. :)

Amazing what Daddy can do with Photoshop!!

I’m not sure how old she was in the picture on the left, but I’m guessing somewhere between 2.5 and 3 months.  She’s 5.5 months in the picture on the right taken the other day.  Next thing you know, she’s going to be blogging!!