Today’s song might one of the freakiest song I have ever heard but at the same time it both haunting and beautiful. You may recongized it from the movies “The Strangers”. Her name is Joanna Newsom and the song is The Sprout and the Bean.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYl0uLrXP7U

Rob

1. Halloween (1978) – I know I’ve spoken of Halloween quite a few times, but it is impossible to think of horror movie masks/costumes without thinking of Michael Myers.  Myers’ mask is one of the most iconic of all horror movie masks.  It is a distorted version of everyone’s beloved Star Trek captain, Kirk.  Due to budgetary constraints when making this movie, the mask that was picked out for Myers’ visage had to be cheap, and I’m glad it was so, because in this case, a simple, blank, expressionless mask works the best of all.  Something overly complicated would have lessened the impact that Michael has on our psyche.  His blank, expressionless stare, with his heartless eyes, is terrifically frightening.  We see that he has no emotion in his stare, no love or hate, which makes him that much more fear-provoking.  He is a killer just because that’s what he is.  In the original Halloween it’s not established that he is Laurie’s brother, he is a killer just because, with no known motivation other than the evil that is inside him.  No motive is scarier than having a motive, because someone with no motive can just as easily kill YOU.

2. The Eyes Without a Face (Les Yeux Sans Visage) (1960) – Blank, expressionless, porcelain masks are utterly terrifying.  Maybe it’s the expressionless-ness, like Michael Myers’ mask.  We are only able to read what the person in thinking from the expression in their eyes.  As humans we tend to look at facial features and expressions for cues on how to react to a person.  Without the facial cues, we’re often at a loss.  When we don’t know how to react to something, we generally react in fear, even when the person wearing the mask is not the villain.  In The Eyes Without A Face, our villain is not the person who is wearing the mask, Christiane, but her father, Dr. Génessier, who is just trying to do what he thinks is best for his daughter.  Due to a tragic automobile accident, her face has been destroyed, and he is just trying to find her a new one.  No biggie, right? Prior to the medical community being able to perform a face transplant, he decides that it is up to him.  He will kidnap women, cut off their faces, and then transplant them on his daughter’s.  Sounds simple enough.  Unfortunately though, the transplants are ultimately unsuccessful, and so his daughter is relegated to wearing that creepy porcelain mask.  The surgery scenes in this movie are quite impressive, and extremely disturbing!  Watch here for the facial surgery scene!

3. Alice, Sweet Alice (1976) – The masks worn in this movie are the type of mask you can buy in a Halloween costume store for pennies.  Just clear plastic, with painted on features.   But somehow, they are some of the most terrifying masks of all.  In this movie, the design of the villain is reminiscent of Don’t Look Now, as I stated in a previous post.  The mask is simple, and it is utterly terrifying, and the only other aspect to the costume is a childish yellow raincoat.  This is not a mask that I’d want to encounter in a dark alley, or even out in the open.  Our title character if fascinated by these masks, and uses them to scare her little sister.  She doesn’t just use one mask either, she wears masks on top of masks, so you never know what’s going to pop up when she removes the outer layer.  It could just be her face, or another hideous mask, and this keeps us on our toes.

4. The Hills Run Red (2009) – Wow!  This movie begins with a bang, a bloody bang.  Seeing a kid take scissors, and cut off his own skin….it’s sickening just thinking about it.  It hurts enough to get a cut, but actually slicing off chunks of skin, your own skin… man, you’d have to be doped up in order to even be able to do that, otherwise you’d probably pass out from the pain.  The actual mask that is worn over the disfigured face is disturbing in its own right, a porcelain baby face?  This is so unimaginable creepy you just have to see it for yourself.

5. The Strangers (2008) – Where did these masks come from?  How is a simple, cheap, plastic mask that is supposed to be cute and innocent end up so creepy?  These masks give me nightmares!  Two of the three masks are made to look like dolls faces, and the other is just a simple burlap-like sack.  Maybe the doll-faced masks are supposed to play on a fear that many have of dolls coming to life and killing and torturing us , such as Chucky from Child’s Play, or the Twilight Zone episode “Living Doll”, with ultra-creepy Talky Tina.  In The Strangers, our protagonists are harassed by three menacing figures- “Dollface, Man in the Mask, and Pin-Up Girl”, for no reason.  The villains only picked this particular couple because they were home.  Again, like Michael Myers, there was no motive.  They could just have easily chosen the house next door.  Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman just happened to be who they chose to torture this particular night.  If you liked The Strangers, I would also recommend seeing Them (Ils), a French flick with a similar premise.

Sweet dreams!!!!

~Emily

Director – David Moreau, Xavier Palud

Cast – Olivia Bonamy, Michael Cohen, Adriana Mocca, Maria Roman

Release Year – 2006

Reviewed by John of the Dead

I don’t know what it is about the French, but they have put out some amazing horror films this decade.  Maybe it is the lack of studio intervention like we have here in Hollywood, but these French flicks are not only scary/crazy as hell, but are downright creative and expertly executed.  I first heard about this film when the American film “The Strangers” came out in 2008.  “The Strangers”, which claimed to be an original film “based on true events”, was often compared to this film and led many horror fans to call it a blatant remake of this French flick.  After finally seeing this film for myself I concur with those who say that “The Strangers” ripped off this film.  I did enjoy “The Strangers”, but this flick blows it out of the water.

This flick follows Lucas and Clementine, an adult couple residing in a giant isolated home in the country.  One night they are awoken by strange noises going on around the home, and are soon berated by a group of hooded attackers who plan on terrorizing them throughout the night.  Eventually the terror worsens when the somehow makes their way into the home, forcing the couple to fight for their lives with no way of calling for help.

Right from the beginning this film takes off with extreme tension and beautifully executed atmosphere.  I am downright flabbergasted at how great this film is given this film’s two directors were first-time writers/directors.  The cinematography and camera angle use is what really set up the thrills and chills in this piece, and were a key element in showing us that you can scare that crap out of the audience with NOTHING if you do things just right.  That is what I believe sets this film apart from other films with similar plots, it’s execution.  The pacing is just right and whatever development we get towards the beginning of the film sets up the character conflicts we see later on in the film.  At a very short 77 minutes, this film does a lot in that span and does not fill the screen with useless scenes just to make this not feel like a short film.  I really like how these French guys obviously do not have much studio interference, which almost always recommends films be at least 90 minutes in length.

The story for this film is a simple one, and that leaves it up to the directors to make this unique and enjoyable, and they did just that.  The home used in this film is the perfect set choice for this film because it’s so damn big and comes with so many smaller and hidden rooms, it adds lots of places for our protagonists AND antagonists to hide.  Brilliant huh?  I was also very surprised with the last act of this film because this film only got MORE creative, adding some awesome and dreadful scenes you do not see coming.  Usually when there is a big change towards the end of a film(in this film the protagonists manage to escape from the house) the film usually falls on it’s face because it either did not have the execution or content to support such a change.  Well this film defies that notion and kept up the pacing and tension despite the set change.

I have no complaints for this film, and can only imagine what these guys could have done if they had a real budget.  Now I am also considering the fact that if they did have a real budget then it would have affected this film negatively because it wouldn’t have forced the filmmakers to become so creative, so how knows.  Regardless, this is another big “f*ck you” to Hollywood that shows you can make a great horror film without major stars and a big budget.

Overall, this is an amazing film that I recommend to all horror fans.  This is one of the most tense films I have seen in a very long time and will give you a new appreciation for the horror genre.  YES, there are good horror flicks still being put out these days, unfortunately many of us are looking at all the wrong places(Hollywood) for great horror.

Rating: 9/10

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posted by:  audra

what, in god’s name, does it take to make a good horror film these days?!  i don’t get it.  every single one of them is bad.  sometimes they start out okay, and then inevitably, something really fucking retarded happens at the end to ruin the whole thing for you.   this year cuntington octhorror fest was a bit of a disappointment.  some good, some bad….we mostly just ran out of time for more of the good ones.  which is fine; lots of entertaining & such…but still, i miss my saturday evenings in frump-wear, watching hours & hours of bone-sawing, eye-gouging deliciousness.  here are a few highlights of le cuntington octhorrorfest 2009:

first let’s take the much-hyped paranormal activity.  after seeing the trailer online, and then going through all the effort to ‘demand it’ in our beloved pdx, i thought it was going to be thee best movie about a haunting ever made.  sam & i went with a couple of friends last week, and i was nearly clawing the spanx right off my thighs–i was that  excited for it.   in case you missed trailer, here it is:

right?!   it looks good!  blair witch mockumentary style with a cast of nobodies & a disembodied presence lifting the sheets!  yes!  no.  “scary as hell.” &  ”the scariest movie of the year.” ?!  really…?  there’s too much talking at the beginning; lots of annoying banter, which some reviewers found “funny”.  the girl–katie–gets old real  quick.  she claims she’s been followed by a ghost or something her whole life, and the activity in their house has picked up.  so, katie & her boyfriend micah begin to document all of this, hoping to catch something on camera.  my favorite parts were the night-time playbacks of their bedroom during sleep…but mostly you’re just left waiting for something to happen.  i won’t ruin it for you, but the ending is terrible.  everyone amongst us in the theater was literally laughing out loud(!).  there were no ending credits, & the lights never came on…so we all just sat there waiting.  one person asked, “is that it?”  another replied, “god, i hope so.”  let that be a warning to you.

the haunting in connecticut. 

did you see the docudrama this is based on?  it’s done by the discovery channel, those little reenacted tales of hauntings, appropriately called a haunting.  (which by the by, have moved to tuesdays at 11am now!)  anyway, so we saw the documentary-thing this film was based on–a haunting in connecticut–and liked it.  really liked it.  it’s about a boy whose name escapes me a the moment–paul i think?–who has cancer.  the mother spends hours & hours every day bringing him back & forth from their home to the hospital, and opts to rent a house that’s closer to the hospital, to make it easier on her son.  eventually the whole family moves in, and they all experience paranormal goings-on in the house; a former funeral home.  the movie, however, makes it appear that it’s only paul who is experiencing these things & chalks it up to his cancer treatment & medication…like he’s hallucinating.  they stray so far away from the original story, that i found it ridiculous.  lots of special effects in poor-taste, too, which is never okay.  it started out good, it could’ve ended well, and they ruined it.  based on true events!

the changeling.

this one’s a real gem.  it’s scary, has a sordid plot and george c. scott.  a 1980 film about a man who moves into a gigantic abandoned mansion after seeing his entire family bite the dust.  he soon discovers that he is not alone in the house & that he’s being contacted by the spirit of a young girl.  drama ensues! 

the strangers.

okay…this isn’t new to us, but sam & i rewatch it every time it’s on–and it’s always scary.  there is nothing more frightening to me than the thought of home invasion.  this is one of my all-time favorite films about just that:  liv tyler (i know, i know…) and her boyfriend are staying at his family’s cabin in the woods.  they come back to the cabin after a little soiree at like, 4am, have a huge fight, and then hear a knock at the door.  “is tamara there?”  sweet jesus, if anyone comes to your door and asks for tamara, shoot them in the head & get the fuck out of there!  anyways…so, from then on, liv & her boyfriend are tormented from the outside by a group of people wreaking havoc on their nerves.  sounds dumb, but it’s awesome all the way through, and truly nail-bitingly intense.  but! as we learned before, writers & directors are the experts of fucking up endings:  this one ends retardedly as well…but it’s still worth seeing.  inspired by true events!

the mist.

i refuse to even post the trailer; sweet god almighty…how i made it through this entire film, i will never know.  it was cold out?  we made grilled cheeses?  it was a sunday afternoon & nothing else was on?  whatever–there’s still no excuse.  possibly the WORST MOVIE EVER.   a bunch of mismatched hillbillies get locked in a supermarket while the earth is being taken over by gigantic, genetically fucked insects developed by the military.  the guy from hung stars, as well as marcia gay hardenup for film roles.  hung takes a risky move near the end & it almost  made the movie worth my time…but that’s 2 hours of my life i will never, ever get back. 

the cottage.

it’s british!  british-horror, which means it’s kinda funny!  in a good way!  the short version:  2 brothers kidnap a blonde slut, who who’s daddy’s a stripclub kingpen, or something.  the two don’t really know what they’re doing, and cute little british hijinks unfold.  a kind of leatherface shows up at some little cottage up the way–the very same cottage a couple of characters try to find refuge in–and MORE hijinks unfold & shovels fly!  blood, decapitation & cleverly delivered humor.   sounds dumb, but it’s totally kinda really good. 

the moral is this:  don’t let bad horror films ruin your halloween next year!  stick to the good ones:  the shining, wolf creek, poltergeist, the amityville horror, texas chainsaw massacre, friday the 13th & halloween.  the ORIGINALS, you guys!  don’t fall for the remade crap.   and if you want b-movies– cheerleader camp, sleepaway camp & sorority house massacre!  you will love them.  i love you & you’re very welcome.  you can buy me a drink or something later…our little secret.

Brittany: I have deemed The Strangers to be the scariest movie I have ever seen.

Me: What’s it about?

Brittany: It’s like When A Stranger Calls, but scarier and with more strangers.

Con motivo de la noche de brujas y uniéndome a la euforia por las películas de terror que siempre emana en esta época del año, recordé una película que cuando llegó a mis manos no sabía ni que existía: The Strangers de 2008, protagonizada por Liv Tyler y Scott Speedman (el de Felicity). Puro terror psicológico. Es decir, me recordó al Proyecto de la Bruja de Blair en donde no pasa mucho pero por algún extraño motivo estás todo el tiempo al borde de la cama, escondiento las patitas, rezándole a dios que no se aparezca la bruja y al final, eso, nunca vimos ala bruja pero nos asustamos como si hubieramos visto al diablo. Bueno ésta es más o menos la idea de Los Extraños.

Kristen y James se van a pasar la noche a una casa, obviamente, aislada de la civilización, en los más profundo y oscuro del bosque. La cosa se ve muy traquila y silenciosa, de hecho en los primeros 20 minutos de la película aún no ha pasado nada que perturbe la tranquillidad de la noche, pero no se cómo ni por qué uno ya esta con las uñitas enterradas en el calcetín, y entonces ¡sucede! Alguien toca la puerta y pregunta: “¿Está Tamara?”. ¡¡¡Sácate que, no estáaaa!!!

No voy a contar el resto porque le quitaría el chiste pero la razón por la que creo que es una de las películas de terror más decentes que he visto últimamamente, es porque la industria se ha empeñado en bombardearnos con cintas que más bien le tiran al gore, con asesinos desfigurados y sierras sangrientas que cortan ojos con pus y mutilan partes del cuerpo, que sí están padres pero no dan miedo, dan asco o risa y tal vez causan un poquito de malestar. The Stragers se apega más a lo tradicional, porque si lo pensamos bien a lo que realmente le tenemos mucho miedo es a lo incierto, a lo desconocido, a la oscuridad, al monstruo de abajo de la cama, a lo que se esconde en el closet y te observa mientras duermes, a lo que no puedes ver y te persigue en las escaleras cuando se va la luz. Ese tipo de terror es el que ya no ves todos los días. Confío en que esta recomendación tendrá éxito sobretodo en esta noche de brujas tan fría y larga, pues el lunes no se trabaja hay que aprovechar para desvelarnos pues siempre después de ver una peli de terror hay que cambiarle al canal de las caricaturas pa relajarse y poder dormir sin soñar feo.

¡Happy Jalogüí!

Evil creeps up on Liv Tyler in Bryan Bertino's eerie "The Strangers."

With horror movies, particularly 21st-century ones, sometimes it’s better to ask “is this film effective?” and not “is this film original?” Because truth be told, there’s not much new and different about “The Strangers,” Bryan Bertino’s lean and mostly capable thriller. The whole “we’re not safe in our own homes” concept? It’s been done before better, and we’ve seen these characters creep under windows and cry a thousand times.

So “The Strangers” doesn’t get high marks for originality. But when a horror movie this spare and gripping juices your nerves like electrical wires, innovation’s something of a moot point. What Bertino lacks in originality he more than makes up for in execution. This is a director who understands that fear of the unknown and the tension that fear creates are what keep us up nights starting at every floorboard creak. Bertino builds this anxiety to unbearable levels using horror standards – the face emerging from the shadows, a car rendered useless by flat tires, the old peel-back-the-curtain-and-boo! — that get us squirming uneasily in our seats right up to the purely stupid ending. 

“Tension” – that’s the watchword here. The film’s first act is all about tension, starting with the shaky relationship between Kristen (Liv Tyler, a fine scream queen) and James (Scott Speedman). The pair’s headed to his parents’ remote vacation home, and it’s clear early that something’s a little off-kilter. Things only get more awkward when they arrive at the house — turns out James expected a different answer to his marriage proposal. The house is filled with champagne and rose petals, all the trappings of a giddy engagement. Somehow Tyler and Speedman, B-level actors at best, capture the pain and strangeness surrounding this relationship speedbump beautifully, relying more on defeated facial expressions and body language than dialogue (in short supply here). They’ve hit a wall, they know it and they don’t know where to go next, or if they care enough to keep trying. There’s something sadly universal in that struggle that endears Kristen and James to us, makes them real people and not just bodies to be dispatched messily into the afterlife.

But don’t go fretting that there’s no action here and no bloodshed. After the sometimes-too-languid setup, “The Strangers” packs plenty of thrills, shrieks and spatters into the second half. Bertino brings on mayhem in the form of three masked intruders who proceed to unleash a hailstorm of psychological torment on Kristen and James. These mind games are the film’s meat. It’s the little moments, like the moved smoke detector, the missing cell phone charger and the doorknob rattles, that start to unglue Kristen and James. That sense of security a locked door and a security system provide go all to hell, and we can’t help but get dragged along.

Then ”The Strangers” moves from mental to physical torture, and, well, that’s right about where things go a little sour. The characters start to do predictably illogical, dumb things — some mind-bogglingly so — simply because the plot requires them to. (Perhaps Bertino would have us believe fear makes logical people develop the I.Q. of sea kelp.) There’s more than one let’s-split-up moment that’s laughable. As the end approaches, “The Strangers” starts a downward spiral toward an end that is so outrageously over-the-top and contrived that it feels like it belongs in a vastly different and inferior film. The finale is an insult to our intelligence — except for the strangers’ frightening explanation of why they targeted Kristen and James — and it’s lazy to boot. 

Does the end ruin “The Strangers”? It comes close, damn close, but the movie’s first half works perfectly as an intense psychological thriller, with Bertino shining an unwelcome light on that primordial human fear: that anyone can get to us anywhere at any time. And for much of the film this new director has the good sense to let tension run amock and let his actors run with it. Bertino would do well to revisit this strategy if he hopes to become anything more than a fifth-rate John Carpenter.

Grade: C

The Strangers (2008)
starring Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman
written and directed by Bryan Bertino

James and Kristen (Speedman and Tyler) drive back from a friend’s wedding to James’s family’s summer home. There seems to be trouble in paradise, neither of them is talking. It is later revealed that James proposed and Kristen rejected him. While “sorting things out”, they hear a knock on the door. A strange woman asks if [insert name here] is home and they tell her she’s got the wrong house. “Are you sure?” she asks. Well, hrmn, let’s see, yeah. She leaves after they assure her that she’s mistaken. James tells Kristen that he needs to clear his head and drive around for a bit. The strange woman comes back and asks the same question. Uh-oh, bitch is crazy.

It starts off really good, sets you up, gets you all tense and shit. Especially the parts with Kristen alone in the house. I might have shrieked a little when the masked man appeared from the shadows behind her. If the goal is to give me a slight heart attack, then the first half’s got that covered. The second half covers the ARE-YOU-SHITTING-ME part.

Clichés a-plenty in this movie. Useless cellphones? Check. Useless cars? Check. A record player blaring and suddenly starts skipping? Check. People separating? Creepy barn? People running unarmed when there’s a shitload of potential weapons lying around? Check, check, and check. People in horror movies do stupid shit ALL THE TIME. That’s how they get hacked.

I had a little trouble accepting the villains’ motive – they had none. But as Chad explained to me, it doesn’t matter. Why does Jason kill everyone who wanders into Camp Crystal Lake? Why do Leatherface and his family (Sawyers in the original, Hewitts in the remake) murder people? Perhaps I could argue that Jason and Leatherface have a story. I could say that I know these characters. I do not know shit about the strangers. But then I realized that the movie, while named after them, is not about them. Motive or no motive, it doesn’t make a difference. In the end, it accomplished what it set out to do – scare me. Fair enough.

The thought of a stranger breaking into your house is truly a terrifying one. If you can’t be safe in your own home, then, shit, where can you be safe? Sometimes, I get paranoid when I hear feet shuffling upstairs (it’s usually the neighbors, we share a wall), or when I see shadows, or when floors creak and doors slam because of the wind. Sometimes, I just watch too many goddamned horror movies.

Halloween is fast approaching, and I thought, what better way to celebrate than to put together a list of my top 10 favorite horror movies?  A great idea in theory, but the task turned out to be much harder than I originally anticipated for a few reasons:

1. I’ve watched A LOT of horror movies

2. There are a lot of great horror movies that span the years, so narrowing it down to 10 was very difficult

3. Determining the order for the top 10 was even harder…it may be completely objective, but it’s still like comparing apples to oranges

4. My memory wasn’t as great as I’d hoped, and I may not have considered a few I should have

Difficulties aside, here’s the list I came up with.  Maybe some of your favorites are in here too!

1. The Shining (1980): It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve seen this movie, it is just as scary and impactful every time I see it.  Those little twin girls telling Danny to “Come play with us forever and ever and ever” will remain branded in my brain forever, I fear, as will the creepy scene where Shelley Duvall finds Jack Nicholson’s manuscript and all it says for hundreds of pages is: “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”?  And how about little Danny’s finger saying, “Mrs. Torrance” in that croaky voice?  Oh yeah, it’s spine-tingling.
2. Scream (1996): Not exactly scary, but absolutely awesome for the way it pokes fun at all of its predecessors’ stereotypical plots.  Scream breaks down “the rules” for its audience.  You can’t drink, you can’t say you’ll be right back (because you won’t be), and you definitely can’t have sex.  Witty banter, a slew of gruesome killings(including The Fonze being scissored to death), and lots of horror movie references (“We all go a little mad sometimes”, “Corn syrup, same stuff they used for pig’s blood in Carrie“) make this movie an entertaining slicefest.
3. The Devil’s Rejects (2005): Rob Zombie, please do not ever stop making horror movies.  Thank you.  But seriously, Zombie has a knack for films.  His plots are particularly twisted, his murders about as gorey and graphic as they come, his cinematography is excellent, he makes the coolest soundtracks, and never before have I watched a movie where I actually felt bad for the bad guys and sympathized when they met their demise.  This movie is not for the faint of heart.
4. The Descent (2005): This is one of the freakist concepts for a horror movie I’ve ever come across.  Several ladies decide to explore the depths of a cavernous cave together…and are greeted by a posse of opaque, blind, flesh-eating mutants.  I don’t even know what these things are…are they human or otherwise?  Who knows.  One thing is for sure, their blindness doesn’t seem to slow them down much.  These suckers move fast and they’ll tear you to pieces.  I never had the desire to go cave-exploring…flesh-eating mutants pretty much seal the deal.
5. Grindhouse: Planet Terror (2007): I chose only part 1 of the Grindhouse double feature because while I love Death Proof, I don’t consider it part of the horror genre.  Planet Terror was so awesome, I had to see it twice in theatre.  Rose McGowan plays a kickass babe with a machine gun for a leg who kills infected zombie-like people like its her job.  This movie explores new territory…it’s not very often a movie decides to show a kid shooting himself in the face.  Such things are fair game in Planet Terror.  Then there’s the Fergie cameo…she doesn’t look so pretty with half her head missing.  My vote for most awesome slaying scene, though, is when about 20 infected mutants are taken down by the blades of a helicopter.  If you’re easily offended, pass on this movie.  If you’ve got the stomach for it, I think you’ll find it just as awesome as I do!
6. Night of the Living Dead (1968): Zombies are my personal favorite type of horror movie…I love the particular type of suspense in a zombie movie where these slow-moving, groaning creatures persistently stalk their victims for flesh.  This old classic is scary and will make the heart pound…”They’re coming to get you, Barbara.”
7. The Others (2001): A spooky ghost movie with a twist at the end.  There are no grisly deaths, but somehow this movie scares me more than most others.  Nicole Kidman stars as a British mother of two whose husband never returns from the war.  She slowly starts to unravel, as unexplained things keep happening around her house.  Did I mention her kids are allergic to the sun?  One morning, she wakes up to find every curtain in the house has been inexplicably removed.  This film builds a quiet kind of terror as it develops.
8. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974): The inception of the “family of killers” concept…a real house of horrors.  The way the movie begins, you think you’re watching crime scene footage from an actual real-life event.  Viewers are then taken back in time to a day when several teenagers break down in a remote Texas town, and are brutally tortured and killed off one by one by the chainsaw-wielding “Leatherface”.
9. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978): The concept of aliens from outerspace replicating a person while he or she sleeps, killing the host, and slowly taking over the whole world is another seriously creepy one.  There are a few versions of the body snatcher movie, and while I really enjoyed the original film from 1956, the 1978 version with Donald Sutherland and Jeff Goldblum is my favorite (Leonard Nemoy even makes a cameo!).  I was especially impressed with the effects–the growing pod, the person being replicated.  It all seemed well ahead of its time.  Another thing I like about this one…there is no happy ending.  Even the main characters are killed off.  That’s perhaps the scariest part of the movie.  They win.  We lose.
10. The Strangers (2008): This one, starring Scott Speedman and Liv Tyler, is one of my newest favorites and one of the most disturbing I’ve seen…plus, the acting is really good.  A young couple retreat to a secluded cabin for a romantic weekend, and are terrorized by masked people (the masks are so creepy!!) for no particular reason.   The masked maniacs toy with the couple throughout the movie, but I think the scariest thing of all is that they keep entering the house somehow, and the couple can’t seem to figure out why or how to prevent it…cell phones end up in the fire, items are moved, and so on.

And a few honorable mentions:

• Dead Alive (aka Braindead) (1992): gory, gross, and utterly hilarious movie about zombies
• High Tension (2003): an utterly horrific foreign film…I don’t even want to say anything about this one for fear of giving it away.  Just go see it.
• The Hills Have Eyes (2006): a remake of the 1977 version…like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, a family of deranged killers stalks a marooned family.  Only this time it’s out in the desert, and the killers are a mutant-looking, incestuous clan that suffers from radiation poisoning.
• The Ring (2002): Watch a movie, and die in seven days.
• Dawn of the Dead (2004): Another zombie movie–a remake of George Romero’s 1978 rendition.  Zombies take over, and a few living stragglers take over a mall.  Lots of suspense.  These zombies don’t walk, they run…fast.  My favorite scene is when the main characters play target practice on the zombies in the mall parking lot.  A Burt Reynolds look-alike zombie gets popped.

~Rebecca

A few words regarding a few things that have caught my fancy (or that might do so) of late:

*FlashForward.  Okay, so at heart I’m just watching it for the eye candy of Joseph Fiennes.  You may know that his brother, Ralph, has been a torturous obsession of mine since I was in college.  I would not consider Joseph slumming it, however.  They’re creatures of great beauty and intensity.

I digress.  FlashForward is on its third episode now, and it’s not the best TV show I’ve ever seen, but it has definitely piqued my interest.  I love, love, love fiction that plays with time.  I like shows with clues–those little moments when you know something you’re seeing is significant, and the payoff later when you see how.  I am definitely interested in how events will play out.

Also, thus far the show’s music has included Nick Drake AND Jeff Buckley.  You win me with this.

Also also, and this is just circumstantial, but it’s been a while since I’ve watched network TV, and I’d forgotten how fun it is to have a primetime show to follow.

*Mad Men.  Duh.  This one, I’ve Netflixed for season two and am wishing for season three to hurry up and end so I can Netflix it too.  I watched season one from the very first episode, every single week, back when I lived in the Wasteland and had cable.  I loved it.  Then I moved back to Nashville and got preoccupied.  It’s mesmerizing and completely encompassing.  I crave it, honestly.

*Aunt B’s ghost stories.  She’s doing some heckuva good spooky writing over there, and I’m finding myself not being able to wait for each night’s story.

*Something I’m not so sure about, but that I feel is worth mentioning:  the Dear Old Love book that will be coming out soon.  I got to be a junkie for DOL several months back and at some point started submitting my own “pithy” statements.  I’ve had very few not get published, actually.  If the book covers most of its archive, I’ll be in there.  Not gonna lie, I feel a little weird about that.

*I REALLY want to see Paranormal Activity.  The way it’s described, it sounds like it might scare me.  Let me explain–I am easily startled in movies, but I am not easily scared.  As in, something or someone jumping out at that pivotal point will totally make me jump–yelp, even.  Not always, but often.  These moments can be funny or mildly annoying.  They’re not scary, though.

Even movies that everyone talks about being so scary usually do not get to me.  I can’t even remember the last time I was scared by a movie.  There have been a couple of Asian horror movies that have given me pause, for sure; The Blair Witch Project, whatever you want to say about it, is pretty dang creepy the first time you see it; The Strangers came very close a year or two ago, but ultimately didn’t really get to me too badly; and there have been moments in several other movies that have creeped me WAY out–the stringy-chick-crawling-out-of-the-TV scene in The Ring and/or Ringu comes to mind.

I like a good psychological thriller; I like camp, even.  But to find a movie that really and truly scares me is rare.  I want this to be that movie.  Maybe it’s too much pressure, but it’s been too long.

***

Okay, that’s good for now.  I do like to be entertained.  Especially when the weather starts to be deliciously cooler and windier, demanding I stay inside and get warm and cozy and still.

Would someone care to enlighten me about what exactly is so hilarious and fun about being scared? James loves it. My mom loves it. Many of my friends love it.

I hate it.

So of course, we watched The Strangers this weekend. I hate this movie so damn much. I think it’s terrifying. I don’t give a hoot how much it sucks, or that it got bad reviews on Rotten Tomatoes… it’s effective in what it wants to do, which is to terrify its audience for no rhyme or reason. It feeds my neuroses like no other scary movie does. But of course once it’s on the television screen, I can’t pry my eyes away. I’m a rubbernecker, what can I say.

Let me ask you… how am I supposed to sleep when all I can think about is this thing staring at me from outside my bedroom window:

Exactly. So. I present to you, in no particular order… a list of the Top 10 Movies that Terrify Amber:

1. The Strangers
2. The Exorcist
3. The Amityville Horror (the old one)
4. Arachnophobia
5. Rosemary’s Baby
6. The Omen
7. Nightmare on Elm Street
8. Invasion of the Body Snatchers
9. Poltergeist
10. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the old one)

How about you?

Scott Speedman hade planerat för den ultimata romantiska kvällen ihop med flickvännen Liv Tyler, men istället förvandlas vistelsen i stugan till en mardröm. När det plötsligt knackar på dörren inleds en kväll av terror där ett gäng sociopater bestämt sig för att plåga livet ur dem. Filmen påstås bygga på verkliga händelser, vilket dock ifrågasatts i olika onlineforum.

Det är onekligen väldigt obehagligt och här ska filmmakarna ha beröm för hur man byggt upp den läskiga stämningen och man kramar hårt i kudden då man utmanar sig själv att se vad som sker det unga paret. Att man inte får se förövarnas ansikten ökar obehagskänslan. Det som stör en är dock Speedman och Tylers irrationella och korkade agerande. Filmen har en hel del likheter med bland annat Funny Games och Vacancy, men inte alls lika bra då det här känns mer utstuderat utan att för den skull ha något att säga.

Betyg: 2

This decade has not been very good for horror movies. The types of horror movies that plagued theaters this year were either J-Horror remakes, torture porn, or remakes of classic horror by untalented individuals whose only directing experiences is making music videos.

However, that does not mean that all horror movies were bad. When there was a horror movie that stood apart from the rest it was usually crowded pleasing or truly great. These movies were not necessarily straight horror movies. Some were more dramatic, some were comedic, and some were more thriller than horror, but due to the poor state of the horror genre they will be included here.

Without further ado, here are my picks for the best horror movies of the decade.

10. House of Wax

Jaume Collet-Serra, 2005

I had a really hard time deciding whether or not to put this on my list. On one hand, it is a horribly written movie with some really bad performances and full of the usual horror clichés. On the other hand, it is meticulously produced movie with a couple of good performances, a great finale, one of the most inspired villains in horror movies (but that’s not saying much), and one of the most pleasing death scenes in probably the history of cinema. Eventually the latter reasons won, because there were not many horror movies that could claim the same things.

9. The Strangers

Bryan Bertino, 2008

Most recent main-stream horror movies rely on shocking images to scare the viewers (i.e. cutting off limbs, gore, gruesome images), so it was nice to see a movie that relied on atmosphere and just creepy images to achieve its goal, and it succeeds. The dark cinematography combined with the simple masks, and effective performances from Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman, makes an effect that creeps up your skin throughout the movie and by the end you are completely terrified and makes you go out and check if there are no creepy people stalking you.

8. The Ring

Gore Verbinski, 2002

This was the first of the many J-Horror remakes and it remains the best. The script was not a play-by-play remake of the original but rather adapted it for American audiences and fixed the flaws that the original had. Also, Gore Veribiski’s direction and Naomi Watts’ great performance helped the movie feel more believable. After this studios would approach the original directors to make the remakes of their movies. That didn’t always work because some of the scares got lost in translation and the actors did not bring the seriousness that Watts brought to her character.

7. The Orphanage

Juan Antonio Bayona, 2007

Althought there were aspects of this that annoyed me quite a bit, such as the set designs, this is a great ghost story. Juan Antonio Bayona, in his directorial debut, crafts a suspenseful and unpredictable mystery, anchored by Belen Rueda’s great performance. Hopefully Guillermo Del Toro, an executive producer on this one, will get some equally bright talent for the upcoming remake.

6. Slither

James Gunn, 2006

Based on the commercials I knew that this wasn’t going to be a typical zombie movie. I mean, alien worms coming to earth in order to expand their kind by turning people into zombies? I had never seen that before. Add to that a clever script, James Gunn’s fun direction, Nathan Fillion and Elizabeth Banks and you have one of the most memorable horror comedies in a while, and it was until #2 on the list came out.

5. The Skeleton Key

Iain Softley, 2005

This movie came out as the PG-13, J-Horror remake craze was on it’s downturn. They were starting to be bad and audiences weren’t paying much attention to them. For this reason, this movie was somewhat of a financial failure. That is too bad, because this ORIGINAL story was better than all the remakes that had come out and come out since. Kate Hudson gives her best performance since Almost Famous as a nurse who is taking care of an elderly couple. Strange things happen in the couple’s house, some coming from the Lady of the house, the great Gena Rowlands. Although the movie is PG-13, that does not mean that it doesn’t have a few scares. It relies on the supernatural to deliver the thills rather than the gore, and the ending I did not see coming.

4. 28 Days Later & 28 Weeks Later

Directed by Danny Boyle, 2002 | Juan Carlos Fresnadillo, 2007

The best of the many zombie movies of the decade. Danny Boyle’s Days explored the lives of a few survivors of a biological attack in London that turned people into super zombies, that is zombies that can run fast. The script by Alex Garland had character that we cared about and sometimes hated and it delivered on the scares. The sequel, executive produced by Boyle but directed by Juan Carlos Fresnadillo, continues  the story as a select group of survivors are transported to a zone that has been cleared off, but there is danger out there, and the conscience of a man who made wrong choice will make everything happen again. Weeks is more action-oriendted, but that does not mean it is inferior. It has equal amounts of thrills as the previous one and the social commentary is still there.

3. Let the Right One In

Tomas Alfredson, 2008

Not a horror movie like others, but rather a love story involving vampires. It will forever be compared to Twilight for this (or as long as that fad lasts), although they could not be completely different. In terms of story, this is about finding a friend when no one seems willing to be one; about the consequences of being an immortal creature and the effect it takes on those that care for them, about the way society looks at outcasts. In terms of filmmaking, Alfredson has more talent than any one who has signed on for that other franchise. He, along with his team has crafted a film that relies heavily on the cinematography and the performances to establish and carry the mood of the movie. The script is brilliant, and the score is subtle but breathtaking.

2. Drag Me To Hell

Sam Raimi, 2009

Sam Raimi started his career directing horror movies, among them the Evil Dead series, which now has cult classing status. After many years, he finally returned to his roots with Drag Me to Hell, and it did not disappoint. First off, this movie is fun. It features some great visual gags, and fights that had the audience I watched it with laughing. There were also some genuine frights, among them the impressive opening scene and the unexpected ending, but since this is a Raimi movie, I should have expected it. The I thought about the ending for days after I watched it, which is something that only #1 on the list did

1. The Mist

Frank Darabont, 2007

No other studio-produced horror movie left me this shocked. Rather than being about the unspeakable horror that lie in the strange mist, this movie is about how humans react to such situations; about how religion takes hold of most people, leaving rational thinking behind. Throughout the movie we get to care for the characters, which makes the ending even more shocking. I can’t say too much without going into spoiler territory, but suffice it to say that The Mist is the best horror movie of the decade, the only movie that delivers everything that a horror movie should offer.

Honorable mentions: The Others (2001), The Host (2007), Trick ‘r Treat (2009), Bug (2007).

Thanks for reading. Feel free to leave your comments about the list.

Vil du se en spennende grøsser? Da må du se denne.

Nøyaktig hva som skjedde i Hoyt-familiens feriehus i Clark Road nr. 1801 den 11. februar, 2005, er fremdeles ikke helt avklart. Champagne. Roseblader. Stearinlys. Meningen var at Kristen McKay (Liv Tayler) og James Hoyt (Scott Speedman) skulle feire denne kvelden, i hans families bortgjemte feriehus. Men etter at de forlot en venns bryllupsfest og vendte tilbake til huset, kollapset alt for det lykkelige paret. Så kom bankingen på døra klokka fire om morgenen og den uforglemmelige stemmen. Er Tamara her?

The Strangers er en kritikerrost, nervepirrende thriller om et par som får sin drøm forvandlet til et forferdelig mareritt når tre maskerte og voldelige fremmede invaderer deres avsidesliggende feriehus. Konfrontasjonen som følger tvinger Kristen og James til å gå mye lenger enn de noen gang hadde trodd de var i stand til – i håp om å overleve.

Ask anyone who comes to mind when they think of horror films and odds are the list will include guys like Jason, Michael Myers and Leatherface. While we’re being bombarded with resurrections of popular 80s slasher flicks featuring monstrous giants with a mean streak, a new breed of killer has cropped up, the unlikely female. Enormity and a chainsaw are a thing of the past. Nowadays the maniac behind a bloodbath could be a pretty face with a hidden agenda.

It’s kind of like Elijah Wood’s theory in <I>The Faculty</I>, “If you were going to take over the world, would you blow up the White House ‘Independence Day’ style, or sneak in through the back door?” That’s the approach a new breed of horror films have started taking with their killers. The seven-foot-tall monster brandishing a machete is hackneyed. Mass murderers are growing a pair and I don’t mean down there.

Click here to read more.

Hello everyone Jourdan here posting some old blog post of my favorite films of 08 that I did on my Myspace. I am putting this up to give you an idea of what you can expect from me if you are not familiar already. You can find all my previous reviews their http://www.myspace.com/jourdanwitau .

Best of 08 and Beyond

So here it is again I have compiled all the movies and listed my favorite films of 2008. Sorry for the length of how many films on my list. I was going to make a top ten and a honorable mention but decided that if I where to put these films in that category then they must have fit my criteria. All of these movies, I found entertaining for various reason. These films could be entertaining on a pop corn way or technical way or both. All of these movies I think should be seen and I think represent 2008. Even though my list is 25 strong there are still a few movies that I have not seen yet that might have made the list: Grand Torino, Frost/Nixon, the Wrestler, Revolutionary Road, the Reader, Synecdoche, New York, Doubt, and Milk. Out of all of those I really want to see The Wrestler. Enough of this let me get to the list but after this.

A Bittersweet Life

This shouldn’t make it on the list because it came out in 2005 I think. This is a Korean revenge movie that is really great. That is all you need to know going into this movie and that Ji-Woon Kim directed it. I have seen three of his movies and they are all pretty good and I fully believe that I will watch anything he makes from now one blindly. That’s how good I think he is. I think he brings depth and cool hip artistry to all of his movies. For those of you who have seen the great Old Boy film I would say that this movie is its fraternal twin brother. You should try to seek this one out if that sound likes your cup of tea.

And now on to the real list…

25. The Orphanage

The only reason this isn’t higher on my list is because it came out at the end of 07 and I watched on DVD not in the theater. It is a really great ghost story that is genuinely creepy. Oh yea this is a Spanish film so you’re gonna have to read.

24. Step Brothers

Straight up stupid. I think Will Farrell and John C Reilly are perfecting there retarded man child with each film they do like this. I have to say that I prefer there other movies compared to this but it is really funny and at least stands next to the all their films really well. Also this is another Judd Apatow linked movies, which is comedy gold that’s deep-fried in liquid gold. This movie is tied with Forgetting Sarah Marshall…

23. Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Even though these two movies Sarah Marshall and step Brothers are different types of comedy the both have in common the Apatow effect. Now this movie is closer in tone to Apatows directed comedies like knocked up. I also have to say that this movie has one of the best break-up scene I have seen.

22. Cloverfield

I almost forgot that this film came out in 08. The sad thing about this movie is that you have to come in this movie expecting what it is to really appreciate it. I know a lot of people where on the tip that it should be more like Godzilla. That is totally wrong way to go into this movie. It is a story of group of people and what would they do and go through if Godzilla was real. Being civilians they wouldn’t be really up close fight this monster. I think it was well directed and elevated the sub genre of found footage. It also has a killer score that only plays during the credits but it is a great homage to Godzilla.

21. Zack and Miri Make a Porno….

Now this film may not be on other people’s lists but if you are a Kevin Smith fan you will really like this film. It shows the growth with Kevin smith while still being foul as always. I also think he nails relationships pretty well in this film even though it is in the situation of making a porno. This may not be as funny as Step Brothers but this is more complete film with a full-fledged growth arc

20. Slumdog Millionaire

Now don’t get me wrong this is a really good movie. Is it worth all the good praise yes. Is it worth that much praise of that its one of the best film of 08 no. Yea it is on my list but not my top ten. You should see this and director Danny Boyle continually amazes me on his versatility (he did trainspotting, 28days later, millions, sunshine. You should check those out if you haven’t seen them yet and you will know what I am talking about). There is a part in this movie that is gross and funny as hell that you should see.

19. Valkyrie….

For anyone doubting Bryan Singer who directed Superman Returns should watch this movie (oh by the way I still think Superman Returns is a good film that is a great opening to a really great action while deep sequel). This is a really fascinating film about a true story. Even with know what happens with this story Bryan Singer creates true tension and thrills.

18. The Strangers

This isn’t the best film but it definitely one of the scarier ones I saw. That is the main reason it is on this list because it was scary which is what a horror movie should do. I can totally see some one being freaked out after this movie.

17. The Good the Bad the Weird.

This is the second Ji-Woon movie that I saw this year that was really great change to the western genre. This movie is not being released for American distribution for couple of months from now but it was shown in 08. Now this may not be for the casual moviegoer but if you love movies like I do and you like western will like this film. This movie if you cant tell is a play on the classic Clint Eastwood Sergio Leon Spaghetti Western the good The Bad and the ugly. This movie totally pays respect to that film by being a good film

16. Wanted

The first comic book adaptation on my list. I think this film goes really well with the first matrix. I think this would be the matrix little brother. The action is over the top and comes really close to crossing the line but never did for me. I have skimmed through the graphic novel and found that it is pretty different. Oh for the ladies there is a shot of a buffed out James McAvoy and for the fellas their Angelina Jolie. On a last note about this film I have to say that Morgan Freeman can give Samuel Jackson a run for his money on who can say Mother Fucker better.

15. Rambo

Once again another film that I almost forgot came out in 08. In short this film is done like an 80’s movie that is done now. The action is over the top gory and the story is as serious can be and loved the shit out of this movie. This movie had me waiting for Sylvester Stallone’s next film, which happens to be the expendables that is about mercenary hired to take out a dictator which. It will star Jason Statham Jet Li Dolph Lundren Mickey Rourke. Tell me that aint some 80’s action gold for you.

14. Speed Racer

Just like Cloverfield I think you can only enjoy this film knowing that this is a live action anime. If you cant go into this movie with that in mind I think you maybe at lose because it is a really good film for what it is. It is a really vibrant movie and might hurt your eyes but if you can take it you in for a first live action anime ever done and maybe never will be done ever again (because it flopped the shit up at the box office)

13. Kung Fu Panda

What Kill Bill did, Kung Fu Panda did for family/cartoon films. The animation and action are really great (it is worth getting in blu ray by the way). It is a pretty simple movie that took me by surprise in how they really tried to respect kung Fu movie in general which made it that much better as a film. Oh for your information this movie is not done by Pixar too which is great.

12. Let the right one in

A subtitled Swedish vampire movie about two kids that fall for each other. It is eerie and quirky at the same time. It has a dark humor and thrilling element to it. Honestly this is one of the best vampire film that I have seen in awhile. It is a weird film that you should seek out.

11. Tropic Thunder

If the all stars aligned Robert Downey Jr would get awards for his part in this movie. If you are watching this movie you are watch Robert Downey Jr, it is totally his film. I have watched this movie about 8 times and everything from him still makes me laugh. Oh if you have this movie on DVD or blu ray you should check out the commentary by the cast because Robert Downey Jr does the commentary in character, which is pretty funny too.

10. Hulk

The second comic book movie on my list. The one thing about this film that besides getting the hulk better then most have is the end fight scene. It is what a super hero fight scene should be like no question about it. This is also a great companion film to Iron man and is a great set up for the future avengers movie that I hope will get made

9. Hellboy 2 the Curse of the Golden Army

If you like pulp things then you will like hell boy. Nazi to fairy tale creatures it’s everything that a geek like me. It also has Seth McFarlane doing one of the characters voice (if you don’t know he is the family guy guy). I know that I want to see where Hellboy 3 will go if they ever make it. Guillermo Del Toro is the man and if you haven’t seen Pan’s or hellboy the first one you should check it out. I have total confidence in him on doing the Hobbit.

8. Wall-E

What can I say like Apatow and his crew Pixar is animation gold deep-fried in liquid gold. They just get better technically with there animation every time out and they always tell a great story with great characters. The sound design was by the same guy who did R2-D2 so you know it gangsta awesome. This is also a must to have in Blu Ray.

7. Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

What makes this film is seeing this character go through life. If you find that watching some one life unfold is boring this is not for you. Because that is the hook the selling point. It is not the idea of a person physically growing younger. Yea that gives the character a different out look but its Benjamin growth as a person that was the hook for me. The special effects are really great in this film and I think they should win for that at least when awards are given out.

6. Pineapple Express

Like Robert Downey Jr I think James Franco should get nominated at least for his role as a pothead drug dealer. It is one of the funniest movies I have seen this year because they got how potheads are. Its just funny seeing how a pothead would act in danger. I didn’t mention this in Zack and Miri but Craig Robinson is damn funny in her as he is in that movie too. Oh yea this another Apatow comedy Gold fried in liquid gold.

5. The Fall

Visual poetry and pure imagination. I honestly think the little girl from this film should be noticed for her performance because it was so natural and spot on. Her acting was not acting it was actually the character on the screen if that even makes any sense. For those of you who don’t know this film it’s by the same guy who did the Cell with JLO. Now that you have an idea of how artistic this movie can be, the cell doesn’t even come close to the fall. It is about a man that is injured and he befriends a little girl and tells her story to get close to her. Once he has here trust he tries to have her help him commit suicide. The story that is told to the girl is being shown through the eyes of the little girl. I honestly think this movie was totally overlooked. Really great film.

4. JCVD

Out of all the movies that came out this year this one surprised me the most. I already had read good things about this film so I was came in the movie with some pretty high expectation. I came out of the film with my experiences that exceeded my expectations. I have to say Jean Claude Van Damme is really good in this movie. He is what makes this movie and the indie director feel to it also helps.

3. Burn After Reading

Out side of the main comedy movies that came out this year this was a stand out for me. This is a Coen Brothers and I didn’t anything less from them. This movie had me laughing on just how absurd it was. You should come in this movie with just the trailer as knowledge and know that it is a movie by the Coens and that it’s going to be in the same vein as there previous comedy.

2. Iron Man

There where three movies going into 08 that I couldn’t wait to see. That was The Dark Knight, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Krystal Skulls and Iron Man. Thankfully this movie and dark knight came through in spades. I pretty sure if you are reading this you have already seen this movie so there nothing much to say about it beside that it full filled everything you want from a fun summer blockbuster. I hope with the next installment that they up the fighting between Iron Man and whom ever he is fighting against. I also got to say that this was Robert Downey’s year. I think he had a year like Johnny Depp when he did the first Pirates movie and Once upon a time in Mexico or even better.

1. The Dark Knight

Now all of these movie can be switched around depending on my mood except this one. This one cannot because it hits all the right notes and give the best any chance it gets. This may not be a surprise but, I don’t think anyone can say that it is not worth anything that has gotten. If you are of the few people that have not seen it you should go see it now and if you want to be cheap come over my house and you can watch it in blu ray cuz I will watch that any time. If you watch movie because of good acting or good directing or for some good action or some good story telling or for a good film score or for good dialog or want something deeper out of a movie then you should watch the Dark Knight. It has everything and does it at a high level that make it a great film. This may not win every award but this film sure does deserves the nomination in multiple categories and deserves awards of if they do win for best director best film and best supporting actor.

There you have it my guide 2008. It took me a couple of weeks to get this together.

Now if you are not tired of reading the BS that I am writing, here is the list of films I am looking forward to

Avatar

James Cameron back at doing sci-fi(he did the first two terminators, abyss, Aliens and that damn Titanic movie) I can say that I am anticipating it. The word on this is that it is supposed to be the next step in movie going and make it worth it to everyone to go to your local theater instead of watching a bootleg or streaming on a website or waiting for DVD. That is because it’s supposed to be the next step in 3D.

Star Trek

JJ Abrams who made my all time favorite show LOST is directing this one. The guy that plays Sylar is playing Spock and he is a dead ringer for him. By the trailers it looks like it is promising something very epic that we have never seen with Star Trek.

Watchman

Read the graphic Novel it really is that good. It looks like this might be a faithful adaptation.

inglorious basterds

Yes that is spelled right. Quentin Tarantino doing aWW2 flick with Brad Pitt. What else can you ask for. This movie has been rumored even before Kill Bill So fans of his have been waiting for this one and who doesn’t like a war flick.

Public Enemy

Johnny Depp playing John Dillinger. If you don’t know I think Johnny Depp is the shit and I wish he played regular roles more often like this one. That is not saying his Tim Burton character are not good. Oh yea Christian Bale is the lead FBI agent after him. This is done by Mr. blow shit up him self Michael Bay I think this will be closer to Heat Then Transformers.

Coraline

The guy that did A Nightmare Before Christmas Henry Selick and the comic book writer Neil Gaiman that did Sandman and Stardust. I think this is a great pairing.

Monsters vs. Aliens

Just on the fact it super geeky concept.

Up!

Animated gold fried in liquid gold from Pixar. There is nothing else to say why I wanna see this.

Brothers Bloom

If you like film and or the noir then you should check out director Rian Johnson first film. Based on that film I want to see it. It also helps that its got a rock solid cast with Mark Ruffalo Adrien Brody, and Rachel Weisz.

Terminator Salvation

Now this is the scary one of the year in which I will be sad if it doesn’t deliver. It has nothing to do with James Cameron and is directed by McG who did those Charlie’s Angles movies. This is supposed to deliver on that human vs. robots war that was shown in T2. John Connor is being played by one of my favorite actors Christian Bale so that also elevated my anticipation of this movie. It also comes out on my birthday May 22 and I hope it doesn’t disappoint like Indiana Jones did by not being as good as the previous movies.

Harry Potter and the Half-blood prince

I really like this series and it always leaves me anticipating the next film. The last one fulfilled what I wanted to see in a wizard battle. I must admit that when the first film came out I thought it was stupid. Now I really like this series. I still wont read the books though.

Funny People

Comedy gold fried in liquid gold Judd Apatow is directing this one. This is where I would say NUFF said but it does star Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen.

Shutter Island

Martin Scorsese and Leonardo Dicaprio and this is where I put NUFF Said.

Where the Wild Things are

One of my fav director Spike Jonze (adaptation) doing one of the most well known children’s book. I have seen some of the pics of the monster and look pretty damn cool. I have to say that the concept of Where the Wild Things are is pretty damn Geeky.

The Fantastic Mr. Fox

I have never read the Roald Dahl’s The Fantastic Mr. Fox so I am only anticipating this because of Wes Anderson (Royal Tenenbaums, Life Aquatic) and that it is his first animated film.

Sherlock Holmes

Robert Downey sword fighting boxing and solving crimes as Sherlock Holmes and Jud Law as a bad ass looking Dr Watson, I am sold. This is supposed to have more action and thrilling elements then previous Sherlock’s. For those of you who think that is dumb in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle books he is a expert Stick Fighter and bar knuckle boxer. Guy Ritchie(snatch, lock stock and two smoking barrels) directing and hoping he can do more then sleek crime films.

Year One

Jack Black and Michael Cera in 1 A.D. and directed by Harold Ramis the guy that played Egon in Ghostbusters and wrote a whole bunch of funny movies.

The Box

Richard Kelly who did Donny Darko does a film based on a twilight zone episode about a box that a gives you what you want but also kills someone at the same time. Perfect pairing.

Ninja Assassin

Ninja’s and the guy that directed V for Vendetta and produced by the matrix boys and written by comic book by J. Michael Staczynski. Oh did I say it’s about Ninjas and who doesn’t like ninjas.

Transformers 2:Revenge of the Fallen.

Bigger then the first one.

Wolverine: Origins

Huge Jackman is a perfect wolverine and director Gavin Hood first film Tsotsi was gritty and was pretty good. The movie has Gambit, Blob, and Deadpool who is played by Ryan VanWilder Reynolds. The trailer just didn’t sell me yet but you know what I will still see this movie.

Black Dynamite

Just checkout the red band trailer and tell me you don’t wanna see this. If you don’t sorry for making you watch that trailer but that shit was funny to me.

and there you have it I done and tired!

There is only one film genre I dislike; horror. I tend to avoid most of them, not because they scare me, but because I find nearly all of them laughable. Horror films suck major ass. Very rarely have I seen something even remotely interesting in this genre, I tend to forget all about it within a few hours of having watched the film. There are, of course, exceptions and I want to tell you about one of the horror films I’ve actually liked, one I thought was damn exciting, one I thought was well made and had a great atmosphere.

You have probably guessed it already because of the title of this post, but if you were wondering the film is called The Strangers.

The film is inspired by true events, it stars Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman. Tyler and Speedman  play a couple, and the story starts off with these two coming from a wedding. They are going to spend the night in an isolated house in the country far out in the middle of the nowhere.

In the middle of the night there is a knock on the door, and a person asks “Is Tamara home?” A while later the same person comes by again and once again asks the same question and this is where things are getting interesting. Three invaders enter the house and are terrorizing the couple, and all they can do is fight for survival. This is a simple story that is executed perfectly.

The suspense is done brilliantly. You never see the assailants faces because they all wear masks and this is a huge plus, it is what makes this movie next to perfect. Tyler’s character is at one point alone in the house, she thinks anyway, she has no idea where the assailants are, and all of a sudden you see the masked guy behind her just standing there, staring, not doing anything at all.

Have you ever felt yourself being watched, then turned around and nobody was there? What if somebody was there but you couldn’t see who? What if they played mind games on you, terrorize you to hell and back, and when you can’t take it anymore you ask them why they are doing this to you, they say “because you were home”. Scary, right?

I want you to watch this film so go rent it now. And if you are a film geek like me and still haven’t got it on your shelf, then do as I did today: go buy it.

Here is the trailer.

Clowns. Fucking scary.

So there we sat, my sister and I on a warm August evening watching The Strangers.  And it felt oddly familiar.  Very familiar, in fact.

Several months ago I saw Vacancy which involved a hapless couple checking into a motel in the middle of nowhere.  On entering their room they discover lots of video tapes.  On viewing the tapes they find them to contain footage of people being killed in a motel room.  On further consideration than was necessary, they came to the conclusion that the motel room was in fact theirs.  Cue lots of cherry door knocking and a rediculous game of cat and mouse with some blokes in masks.

The Stangers is the exact same film.  Swap the motel for a suburban holiday home and the… well, no, actually, that’s the only thing that’s different.

Both films contain all the modern day horror movie trademarks: poorly executed attempts at making us jump (a face appearing at a window, a loud, shrill orchestral hit as one of the hapless duo bumps into… someone they know), an excrutiatingly frustrating tendancy for the main characters to keep running back into the building that leaves them trapped… you get the picture.

This got me thinking; it’s clear everyone has run out of ideas and I think there is only one real solution to this.  I must make my own horror movie.  And you know what?  It will be fucking scary.  Why?

Clowns.

Steven King dabbled with this back in 1990 with the film adaption of his novel, IT.  A scary film indeed, until the clown turned into a big spider and it all got a bit silly.

Clowns are inherently scary.  An invention blatantly created to scare children into obeying their superiors, their painted white faces and faux smiles are truly disturbing.  Throw a water-squirting flower and tricycle into the mix and you’ve got guaranteed pant-soiling material.

Getting back to my film, as we all know, the film business is about just that.  The cash.  The readies.  Moolah.  If you want to make a fast buck in this game, you’ve got to be canny and bust some balls*.

Therefore, there’ll be no special effects.  At all.  Just loads of clowns.  Face paint costs bugger all and it doesn’t matter who you cast as the clowns as all they have to do is mince about menacingly in the background and jump out of closets occasionally.  Anyone can do that.  Even Keanu Reeves.

There’ll be no music, either.  In fact, the only soundtrack will be the kind of tinny plinky plonky stuff you hear on Bournemouth Pier which itself is more scary than Rodrigo out of Big Brother.  This music will play just before a clown enters a scene, ensuring plenty of pre-clown-chaos tension.

No dialogue.  Writing a script takes time.  Time is money.  I’m confident I can fill two solid hours with pure circus-driven peril.  The only dialogue, if you can count screams and whimpers, will come when people spot the clowns.

I’ll get cracking.

*I’ve been watching a lot of The Sopranos recently.