Photo: Daniel Wildman | Stock.xchng

When the dragons start their interrogation of entrepreneurs, one of the most essential questions they ask is “How do you make a profit?” In other words: How is it a business? How do you make your money in this setup? What is your business model?

The past seven seasons have, of course, brought a variety of entrepreneurs into the den, so we’ve had the privilege to see many business models falling under the scrutiny of the investors. Franchises, exclusive clubs, licensing, retail, and pyramid (!) schemes are just some of the many models presented before our fierce five. Very often, after a thorough dissection of them, the dragons are simply unconvinced that they could work, i.e., that they could make money.

It’s really very important to determine what the business model is from the outset. Just today, I was reviewing another DD episode, when I came upon a father-and-son team hoping to sell their ladder box invention. When Theo Paphitis asked them what their plan was (to make money, of course), the son answered, “We’ll sell lots of them”. Nice quick answer but very ambiguous. After all, every business IS supposed to sell something (product or service), but the how-to of it must be nailed down pat to leave no room for doubt as to its viability. That’s what a business model answers.

Again, flashback to my early days as an entrepreneur. It’s now cringe-worthy that in those times, I used to talk at length about the quality of CAN-DO! but very little about how it could be profitable. And, of course, these days, with publishing establishments falling by the wayside almost every week, I can’t just simply rely on selling the usual advert space, even if advertising is the recognised bloodline of magazine publishing. So one of the primary questions I’ve now learned to ask myself: What is my business model here? How do I intend to make money from this?

Very soon, a new thing will start with CAN-DO! (Teaser!) And even as I’m excited about its possibilities, I’m making sure that my entrepreneurial neck is steadily holding up my head. I have to focus on the fact that the new thing is not just an opportunity to be more creative. The bottom line question is “Is there a solid business model behind this new thing?”

I’ll end this point of reflection by sharing a link my assistant gave me today. It’s a short article in a Kenyan newspaper, detailing a “futuristic” business model, appropriate for e-commerce entities like CAN-DO! It’s something I’m currently marinating on as I figure out the new business model for our new thing in CAN-DO!

http://www.nation.co.ke/blogs/-/445642/687968/-/view/asBlogPost/-/wqumpp/-/index.html

Photo: Ivan Petrov | Stock.xchng

Dragons love to punt. They love to take risks on relatively unknown entrepreneurs because they see beyond the stammering presentations and overblown financials. They see the person behind the business. Most often than not, their gambles rest solely on the being of the entrepreneur rather than on some tangible resource presented in the den.

For instance, I loved it when Peter Jones punted for a dreadlocked singer and his Jamaican hot sauce; Duncan Bannatyne punted for a woman and her children’s acting school; James Caan punted for a lady and her dog treadmill; Deborah Meaden punted for a guy and his bacteria-killing shower head; and Theo Paphitis punted for a couple and their online gaming alerts. All investments, of course, are punts or gambles, but these particular examples are noteworthy because they seemed almost like lost causes. Other dragons had already declared themselves out. The ones who stayed and invested money into these businesses were the very last ones standing in the den, so they even seemed foolish in throwing money at these chosen businesses, after their fellow dragons’ fiery tirades against the entrepreneurs in question. But punt, they did. And for that, I really wish them a mountain of profits.

Sometimes, all an entrepreneur really needs is just a punt. Another dictionary definition of punt is to “propel with a pole”, which I equate to a slight shove. The truth is, there are so many people out there who could really use a proper punt, an investment into their being rather than into their numbers. I know because I’m one of them.

My current spreadsheets wouldn’t necessarily look attractive to potential investors, but they need to see beyond them. Every single one of my favourite business people swam against the tide. They had nothing going for them, but because of sheer chutzpah, they racked up their numbers in due time. What investors need to remember is that entrepreneurs like me give our loyalty and talent to them 100 percent, if only they’d give us a break. The loyalty and the talent certainly count for something, even when today’s business environment seems to be dictated by nothing more than the usual market conditions. Somewhere in the equation, they have to factor in the human will that will give its all just because it’s overjoyed to receive an affirmation of an investment when all else was lost. And the human will is certainly able to create the missing components of the balance sheet.

That’s why I love punts and the dragons that make them. Watching them strengthens my resolve to make it worth my dragon’s while to invest in CAN-DO!

Theo Paphitis is an entrepreneur of Greek Cypriot origin. He made his fortune in the retail sector, and is best known to the general public for his appearances on the BBC business programme Dragons’ Den.

I love Dragons Den. I love the way Evan Davis (a shaved meerkat in a designer suit) likes to recap what we’ve only just seen occurring, but slightly exaggerated for effect. “Shirley has incurred the venomous wrath of an incandescent Duncan Bannatyne!” he’ll intone over booming music, as we see Duncan Bannatyne looking slightly cross at the hapless inventor.

I enjoy watching people getting all sweaty and forgetting their words. I know I shouldn’t enjoy that, but I do. And I love that moment when a pitch has been going very well, only to be ruined by Theo Paphitis breaking the invention. “That could have had my kids’ eyes out!” he’ll bark, waving a snapped off piece of something that took years to develop and produce. Still, best to know now rather than face class action lawsuits later.

Last night we had the rare sight of the “dragons” being so desperate to go into business with a contestant (who had invented a thingy for getting cables through cavity walls without resorting to a wire coat hanger) that they were practically stabbing each other with their Montblanc pens. Tensions were high. She declared a preference for James and Theo. Deborah Meaden tried to undercut them with a better offer, and Peter Jones proceeded to try and show that he is a nicer person than Deborah by stepping out of the contest because Theo and James were a “better fit” for cavity wall cable-type products.  Someone, I forget who but it may have been Duncan Bannatyne, actually offered more money than the woman was asking for, which must be a Dragon’s Den first.

Well done, that woman – “a true dragon slayer,” in the words of my favourite shaved meerkat.

Some time ago a client asked me to draw up a cartoon strip to so that he could frame it and present to Theo Paphitis when making a pitch to him.

Here’s the four framed cartoon strip with caricatures of Theo….

Football Training!

Theo is a great football fan and spent eight years as Chairman of Millwall FC, taking it out of administration, into the Championship and as far as the UEFA cup, via an FA Cup Final. So the cartoon tied in very well with his thoughts on football and business.

The recession hit many businesses hard, even long established brand Woolworths, Britain’s major retailer, suffered massively and was forced into receivership and finally went into liquidation.

The high-street chain collapsed in November 2008, only one year before its centenary. Founded by Franklin Winfield Woolworth in 1909, Woolworths established into a 800 chain giant. Right from the start selling a variety of merchandise such as toys, sweets, children’s clothing and haberdashery. Thanks to mass production “Woolies” was able to be very price competitive and that is how they outperformed many British competitors when it came to china and glassware. According to Lavan from The Times Online,  in their first year of trade in Britain they offered free pots of tea to customers and introduced new shopping experiences through an American store layout encouraging to browse around (read more here).

But competing on price only is a risky game. Referring to the BBC , the main problems arose when it was heavily undermined by Amazon and large supermarkets like Tesco started selling non-food products (full story here).

Generations of shoppers commiserated with the sinking ship of Woolworths, a brand the grew up with, liked and trusted. A high amount of affection was shown when the brand’s followers on social networking sites started to increase when the recession started to kick in and Woolworths’ breakdown was covered all over the media. Referring to Marketingmagazine, Woolworth’s group on Facebook has rapidly increased exceeding a number of 23,000 members showing sympathy and sharing affection.

Whilst some were going under, investors caught interest and started to see potential business opportunities. A famous example is entrepreneur Theo Paphitis, who successfully turned around struggling and troubled retail businesses, such as the one of lingerie chain La Senza, which was one of his biggest successes (more). He is also known from the popular BBC programme “Dragons Den“, where according to BBC his focus belongs to the inheritance of his children and he is known for the sentence: “Why should I part with any of my children’s inheritance investing in this?”

Finally, the company was bought by the Shop Direct Group and Woolworths’ are now back with a new customer focused and very interactive online strategy.  Shop Direct Group the result of a merger between Shop Direct companies and Littlewoods in 2005 is one of the UK’s largest online retailers. Despite Woolworths’ popularity critics were arguing that Woolies were “out-of-touch”, lacking customer focus, as well as interaction. With reference to Manning from the Mirror, Woolies had no real unique selling point: “It is a jack of all trades, but a master of none”.  He also refers to it as outdated in an era where online shopping is outperforming shopping in giant out-of-town centres (read more).

This shall all be changed with the new business model and a vibrant marketing strategy. Shop Direct Group’s new strategy is to reduce Woolworths’ operations on only online with a strong focus on customer information and involvement through interaction. Woolworths has been relaunched online with a very strong web presence.

Shop Direct Group, which is preparing for Woolworths’ relaunch in the upcoming summer is certainly doing a good job and improving main weaknesses. It seems like they have recognised the power and opportunities that lie in online social networks. As a sign of high interaction with customer they are collecting feedback and areas of interest through social network pages Facebook, Twitter, Spotify and last fm. They set up groups called “the first single I ever bought” and encourage users to list their experiences and create a “nostalgic playlist”. Marketingmagazine states that well renounced agencies Glue London and The Brooklyn Brothers have been appointed for Woolworths’ social media presence and engagement. In order to keep customers up to date with newest information they regularly put information on Twitter, Facebook or their newly created blog (www.woolworthsblog.co.uk). This move enables them to be much more transparent and automatically provides Woolworths with more closeness to its “followers” and their feedback. A great way for their online reputation management as well as a source for ideas or concerns from interested individuals.

On Twitter they recently tested if there is any demand for some of their new offerings and according to Marketingmagazine, Twitter followers were prompted to list their top five Woolworths’ products – a great way to conduct market research in order to detect customer’s favourites (Read more).

Moreover they have created a page specially for Easter (www.woolieswonderland.co.uk) – a page that encourages its visitors to find six virtual eggs in order to secure a place in a prize draw to win a family home entertainment system…and of course to drive web traffic and collect contacts, but don’t tell anyone

All in all it seems that Woolworths is on the right course. By applying clever and strategic marketing techniques and using appropriate new media tools, they can reach their audience, engage with them and discover what are the right steps to do next in order to have a successful comeback as an online store.

After all the gloom and doom and predictions of misery by politicians, economists and the media who almost seem to relish it, it was refreshing to see Theo Paphitis (of Dragons Den) with an optomistic outlook. He said that many of today’s  successful entrepreneurs started their businesses in the last recession. Of course it is going to be hard going for many people, but I have heard people with successful businesses say that if they had not lost their comfortable jobs, with paid holidays, sick pay and pensions, they would not have had the courage to risk it all to start a new business. Sometimes the things which seem disastrous at the time turn out, with hindsight, to have been a blessing in disguise.

I heard an Irish politician on the radio today saying, “We must be realistic, but not pessimistic” which seems a good mantra.

I would like to think,  that after this recession we will have more realistic house prices, better regulation of the financial services, more personal responsibility for our own finances and even a return of domestic science to the national curriculum (for boys as well as girls) where they learn actual economical cooking rather than how to design a packet to market the food in!

HA HA HA!!

Theo Paphitis - Idiot

Infamous wanker Theo Paphitis has got his grubby little fingers well and truly grilled following the collapse of some lousy biofuel venture. Theo and Deborah Meaden suffered their first Dragons` Den business failure (no doubt more will follow), after transport firm, JPM Eco Logistics, went under. Meaden tried to put a brave face on things; Paphitis has yet to make a comment (he`s probably kicking himself after wasting his childrens` inheritance money).

I could have saved them the dosh and told them that the whole biofuel thing is just a pile of unadultered horse shit (but with less value than animal manure). As it happens, the swine – a few years ago – looked into the possibility of opening a small biodiesel facility. I attended a conference in Nottingham and gathered the information, did all the research (learning all jargon such as de-esterification), got a business plan together and even had the bank loan all lined up, complete with a sizeable deposit from yours truly. Mercifully I had the good sense to attend a weekend course (run by JC Fuels), where I saw a small biodiesel production facility up and running; after speaking to a few other delegates (including one person who was running his own facility and who was very much of the opinion that it wasn`t worth it), I decided not to go ahead. I am so fucking glad I chickened out, otherwise I would be several tens of thousands in debt by now!! JC Fuels no longer produces biodiesel but still runs the recommended course (save yourself a lot of grief if you really must insist on immersing yourself in the murky world of `eco-friendliness`).

The tide against biofuels began to turn once it was realised that producing the crops (typically rapeseed), meant that vast swathes of land would have to be turned over to the cultivation of the necessary crops. In practice, this meant the wholesale destruction of ecologically-sensitive areas (defeating the `green` credentials of biofuels). The whole biofuel project was a non-starter, but it took me a while (plus a few hundred quid of research), to realise that it had – and still has – nowhere to go. If you want to run your car cheaply, get an old banger (something like a used Mercedes around the £500-£1000 range that runs diesel and get a `dual fuel` kit fitted). You can then run on pure vegetable oil (after the diesel tank warms up and switches over to using the one loaded with vegetable oil). Better still, filter used vegetable oil (your local chippy will give it away), and you`ve got pretty much free fuel (if you want to, email the swine and I`ll get back to you). As for the environmental benefits: don`t bother, the planet`s too knackered to do much now.

Bottom line: if Paphitis and Meaden had done their research they`d have saved their money. I`d have produced a viability report for them for less than three grand. Stupid fuckers!

Parody episode:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=QiuTWeDnzeg

Have just read Theo Paphitis’ biography “Enter the Dragon” – it’s really quite a good read and I would recommend anyone who has an entrepreneurial mindset to buy it. In one of the chapters he mentions about the Dragon’s Den, how he was accepted onto the program and what it’s actually like.

The BBC were quite cheeky with their interview in that they didn’t actually tell Theo why they wanted to meet him. He turned up at the studio and was informed that they had some investment opportunities for him. They pitched to him and he responded, little did he know that he was being assessed! It turns out they liked what he had to say and he was given the part.

And a good job, too, in my opinion. He and Peter Jones have a camaraderie that is very enjoyable to watch and Theo’s legendary sayings, such as “I would rather stick pins in my eyes than invest with this” or even better “I hope you don’t take a-fence” (his response to someone who was trying to sell custom painted fencing), crack me up.

I’m already looking forward to next year’s series. The diamondgeezer.com creator has already been on my blog to comment about why he chose not to accept the investment in the latest series. Maybe I can get some insight from some more budding entrepreneurs next year?!

I’m fairly well known among my friends as having somewhat dodgy taste in men. Dodgy by most people’s standards, yes, but I just don’t think there’s anything attractive about the Ken dolls that adorn our magazine covers, and that seem to appeal to the Average Jane. Give me a big wonky nose, greying hair and an awkward demeanour any day over the likes of Brad Pitt and George Clooney. 

These men, these ‘conventionally attractive’ men; they’re just too perfect. BORING. Flaws make a person, both physically and characteristically. I’m especially fond of big Roman noses, the bumpier the better. I think it gives a very masculine structure to a face, and it makes me think of ancient statues and such. A very classical look. I could never be attracted to a man with a small nose, it’s just too feminine to me. Also, muscly physiques do absolutely nothing for me.  I find that level of vanity not in the slightest bit masculine, and as long as a man is not an unhealthy weight either way, anywhere inbetween is just fine. The only six-pack a man should have is in the fridge.

There seems to be a trend among young men at the moment that involves a lot more preening than is necessary. Suddenly, every bloke under 30 has a Tony and Guy structured haircut, that they mould to perfection with wax or gel. Again, not masculine. 

Intelligence is seriously underrated too. No matter how ‘attractive’ a man is, if he grunts like a caveman, then he is no good. And it’s not just stupidity being an unattractive quality; I become considerably more attracted to a man if they demonstrate that they are intelligent.  Cleverness is sexy. So is geekiness actually. Football apes not so much.

Age too, is important. I happen to think that a man’s peak age is roughly between the ages of 35 and 45. Men in their twenties often haven’t grown into themselves. They may still look a bit teenage, or not have a clue what suits them, or not yet have much confidence. A few lines and a bit of grey does wonders.

To illustrate a few of the things I’ve mentioned, here are a few of my perfectly imperfect favourites.

Louis Theroux: Total fox.

1. Louis Theroux

Very intelligent, and incredibly witty, Louis is also somewhat gentle and let’s face it, a little bit geeky. He’s tall, and lovely in every way.

Adrien Brody- Glass-shatteringly beautiful

2. Adrien Brody

Once described by a Guardian journalist as a ‘cross between Ross from Friends and a disappointed sundial’, it’s Adrien’s massive nose that does it for me. I have no idea what he’s like as a person, but I love his sorrowful eyes, and delicate face that is rudely interrupted by his huge conk.

Hey, we look quite good together, no?

3. Greg Dulli

Now, I don’t even think Greg is particularly unusual looking. A lot of women find him attractive, understandably so. The man is gorgeous. It doesn’t come across as much in pictures as it does seeing him live on stage. The guy just has ‘it’, whatever ‘it’ may be. But there are a lot of people who mock me for fancying him. Maybe it’s because he’s a little older than me (early 40s, the perfect age), or whatever. I don’t give a crap. For some reason I am quite taken by his side parting…and his nose of course.

Gene Hunt: I wish I was Bolly Knickers.

4. Gene Hunt (ok, Philip Glenister)

I’m sure Phil’s a top bloke, but it’s his alter ego Gene I’m more interested in. He’s disgusting and sexist and loud; but so ridiculously sexy. By the end of Life on Mars I had a raging crush on him. During Ashes to Ashes I wished I was Alex (partially for the outfits of course), and quite wished I would go into a coma and have ‘Property of Metropolitan Police’ stamped on my arse. I don’t normally go for blonds, but this guy is the exception. 

Theo Paphitis: The one thing to look forward to on Mondays

5. Theo Paphitis

This has to be one of my weirder crushes, but I have had the hots for Theo from the first time I saw him on Dragons’ Den. I occasionally like balding men, but only if they have a big nose. Theo’s nose is a nice shape, and he has the Meditteranean look that I go for. Ok, so you might think, ‘what does she see in MILLIONAIRE Theo Paphitis?’, but in all honesty, I’d fancy him despite his riches, and think that Mrs P is a very lucky lady.

Those of you who watch Dragons Den will have seen Rachel Watkyn and Christian Richardson receive backing from Peter Jones and Theo Paphitis. It was an interesting programme in that it brought up the Dragon’s feelings about the environment.

Earlier in the show Deborah Meaden had shown her thoughts on an ice cream box that she described as having unneccessary packaging and she was therefore out. None of the Dragons invested in the product.

Then up popped up the Tiny Box Company who make packaging from recycled materials. They felt they had discovered a niche market as there were no companies around soley dedicated to using 100% recycled materials (except for the glue apparently!) Duncan Banatyne was scathing about the boxes and accused Rachel of being on a ‘crusade.’ I think Duncan may have revealed his thoughts on the environment with that comment. In fact it would be fair to say that none of the Dragons were overly keen on investing into the company until they heard the background of the company directors. The upshot is that both Rachel and Christian had been delt a few blows and were using this business to try and get themselves back on track. Good on them!

So to the boxes! It was interesting to learn that there was not a company dedicated to recycled packaging. Tiny Box revealed that Google had in fact placed an order for boxes for coorporate gifts. Good on Google for doing their bit for the environment! The Tiny Box Company website is worth taking a look at. They have some statistics from www.wasteonline.com that show the following:

• In 2003/4 a thrid of UK waste was paper
• Making recycled paper uses up to 70% less energy than making normal paper
• Every tonne of paper recycled saves 3000 litres of water

Check out the websites for more information.  Another great aspect of the company is that they are totally committed to the environment.  They don’t have any gimmicks and haven’t gone in for overly flash designs or packaging. In fact when you place an order it will be delivered to you in a re-used box.

Next time you are giving a gift think about using the Tiny Box Company- it will help cut your carbon footprint.  Alternatively why not save the packaging you get from gifts and re-use it (possibly don’t give it back to the person you got it from!!)

www.tinyboxcompany.com